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“Lady” | Stacey Ejiroghene Okparavero | TEDxMendeWomen


my name is Stacy and today I’ll be

my name is Stacy and today I’ll be sharing named after my grandmother lady

sharing named after my grandmother lady

sharing named after my grandmother lady my mother told me how it was back then

my mother told me how it was back then

my mother told me how it was back then her stories always started with back in

her stories always started with back in

her stories always started with back in my days when the Nara was equal to a

my days when the Nara was equal to a

my days when the Nara was equal to a pound and jobs waited to ease you into a

pound and jobs waited to ease you into a

pound and jobs waited to ease you into a dull team as you graduated she spoke of

dull team as you graduated she spoke of

dull team as you graduated she spoke of her mother lady she was called she was

her mother lady she was called she was

her mother lady she was called she was quite the lady

quite the lady

quite the lady they were stockings that matched their

they were stockings that matched their

they were stockings that matched their parasols and men’s shoes stood higher

parasols and men’s shoes stood higher

parasols and men’s shoes stood higher than their egos ladies could be ladies

than their egos ladies could be ladies

than their egos ladies could be ladies and men were their hearts on their

and men were their hearts on their

and men were their hearts on their sleeves to tease out smiles for days

sleeves to tease out smiles for days

sleeves to tease out smiles for days days of short short skirts and wrappers

days of short short skirts and wrappers

days of short short skirts and wrappers and waste beads winking at boys that did

and waste beads winking at boys that did

and waste beads winking at boys that did not touch days were phones where a dream

not touch days were phones where a dream

not touch days were phones where a dream and girls gather data stream to dance

and girls gather data stream to dance

and girls gather data stream to dance and chitchat

and chitchat

and chitchat the days of mothers were honored the

the days of mothers were honored the

the days of mothers were honored the opinions counted and old where the

opinions counted and old where the

opinions counted and old where the Google we ran to knowledge for tales by

Google we ran to knowledge for tales by

Google we ran to knowledge for tales by moonlight or a treat and tiny powdered

moonlight or a treat and tiny powdered

moonlight or a treat and tiny powdered bodies dozed off as tortoise and lion

bodies dozed off as tortoise and lion

bodies dozed off as tortoise and lion found themselves in the same pot of soup

found themselves in the same pot of soup

found themselves in the same pot of soup days and relationships were built on

days and relationships were built on

days and relationships were built on trust and kindness not on likes and DM

trust and kindness not on likes and DM

trust and kindness not on likes and DM hoping now gadgets become objects of

hoping now gadgets become objects of

hoping now gadgets become objects of affection and friends become well

affection and friends become well

affection and friends become well objects objectification becomes the norm

objects objectification becomes the norm

objects objectification becomes the norm and God forbid you complain hey my

and God forbid you complain hey my

and God forbid you complain hey my mother told me a long tracks from

mother told me a long tracks from

mother told me a long tracks from village to village to see old friends

village to village to see old friends

village to village to see old friends but UBA still isn’t enough to make it

but UBA still isn’t enough to make it

but UBA still isn’t enough to make it down for a friend in need

down for a friend in need

down for a friend in need indeed some days way heavy on my heart

indeed some days way heavy on my heart

indeed some days way heavy on my heart like a ton of bricks bricks I pick and

like a ton of bricks bricks I pick and

like a ton of bricks bricks I pick and build bridges that insist on being torn

build bridges that insist on being torn

build bridges that insist on being torn down my mother’s mother was a lady my

down my mother’s mother was a lady my

down my mother’s mother was a lady my mother spoke fondly of but I feel the

mother spoke fondly of but I feel the

mother spoke fondly of but I feel the ache in her bones as she told me how she

ache in her bones as she told me how she

ache in her bones as she told me how she lost her so young so my mother had to be

lost her so young so my mother had to be

lost her so young so my mother had to be a mother when she was still figuring out

a mother when she was still figuring out

a mother when she was still figuring out a tampon from a towel she wasn’t ready I

a tampon from a towel she wasn’t ready I

a tampon from a towel she wasn’t ready I wish I could build from my bones a

wish I could build from my bones a

wish I could build from my bones a bridge from myself to her mother so she

bridge from myself to her mother so she

bridge from myself to her mother so she might spend a little more time being a

might spend a little more time being a

might spend a little more time being a little girl again I wish I was patient

little girl again I wish I was patient

little girl again I wish I was patient the lessons I learned how my mother’s

the lessons I learned how my mother’s

the lessons I learned how my mother’s knee I struggled to unlearn because now

knee I struggled to unlearn because now

knee I struggled to unlearn because now I know better

I know better

I know better a mother’s back harried pains no words

a mother’s back harried pains no words

a mother’s back harried pains no words can speak of they shrunk their divinity

can speak of they shrunk their divinity

can speak of they shrunk their divinity to swallow pills of patriarchy that

to swallow pills of patriarchy that

to swallow pills of patriarchy that shreddin to choke their daughters now

shreddin to choke their daughters now

shreddin to choke their daughters now they say this is the way of our mothers

they say this is the way of our mothers

they say this is the way of our mothers traditionally call it as they wrapped

traditionally call it as they wrapped

traditionally call it as they wrapped misogyny with the tight little bow at

misogyny with the tight little bow at

misogyny with the tight little bow at the feet of the men whose fragile ego

the feet of the men whose fragile ego

the feet of the men whose fragile ego they tended my mother is a strong woman

they tended my mother is a strong woman

they tended my mother is a strong woman I watched the strength no woman ever has

I watched the strength no woman ever has

I watched the strength no woman ever has to display woman you’re a woman where

to display woman you’re a woman where

to display woman you’re a woman where did it go wrong he calls you beautiful

did it go wrong he calls you beautiful

did it go wrong he calls you beautiful and you place your worth in the soiled

and you place your worth in the soiled

and you place your worth in the soiled hands you were beautiful before he met

hands you were beautiful before he met

hands you were beautiful before he met you and you’re beautiful even after he

you and you’re beautiful even after he

you and you’re beautiful even after he left you we fill our girls every time a

left you we fill our girls every time a

left you we fill our girls every time a mother tells her child to manage

mother tells her child to manage

mother tells her child to manage persevere tolerates injustice to her

persevere tolerates injustice to her

persevere tolerates injustice to her being her divinity in the name of the

being her divinity in the name of the

being her divinity in the name of the validation by the one sworn to protect

validation by the one sworn to protect

validation by the one sworn to protect and respect her with here are the seams

and respect her with here are the seams

and respect her with here are the seams of ourselves we must return to our self

of ourselves we must return to our self

of ourselves we must return to our self you are completing the fabric of your

you are completing the fabric of your

you are completing the fabric of your mother’s womb you you were the rain that

mother’s womb you you were the rain that

mother’s womb you you were the rain that nourishes the earth you are the ocean

nourishes the earth you are the ocean

nourishes the earth you are the ocean the sky cannot contain

the sky cannot contain

the sky cannot contain you forget who you are let me help you

you forget who you are let me help you

you forget who you are let me help you retrace her steps stone by stone lets me

retrace her steps stone by stone lets me

retrace her steps stone by stone lets me mold you with these hands that make

mold you with these hands that make

mold you with these hands that make nations the pathway that brings you back

nations the pathway that brings you back

nations the pathway that brings you back to yourself retrace the trajectories of

to yourself retrace the trajectories of

to yourself retrace the trajectories of mothers of mothers flower daisies you

mothers of mothers flower daisies you

mothers of mothers flower daisies you are the earth that Nestle’s acid’ within

are the earth that Nestle’s acid’ within

are the earth that Nestle’s acid’ within the rain that nourishes deep beneath the

the rain that nourishes deep beneath the

the rain that nourishes deep beneath the Sun that brings ashes the first leaf you

Sun that brings ashes the first leaf you

Sun that brings ashes the first leaf you hold civilization within the cracks of

hold civilization within the cracks of

hold civilization within the cracks of your hands you carry the weight of the

your hands you carry the weight of the

your hands you carry the weight of the world on that fragile back yet you soon

world on that fragile back yet you soon

world on that fragile back yet you soon at the sight of a puppy do you remember

at the sight of a puppy do you remember

at the sight of a puppy do you remember when you are the light the rainbow

when you are the light the rainbow

when you are the light the rainbow needed to shine the saw the Banga soup

needed to shine the saw the Banga soup

needed to shine the saw the Banga soup needed to WoW the cradled I rocked

needed to WoW the cradled I rocked

needed to WoW the cradled I rocked humanity how did you forget yes we can

humanity how did you forget yes we can

humanity how did you forget yes we can build bridges back to the time of my

build bridges back to the time of my

build bridges back to the time of my mother’s mother’s mother and generations

mother’s mother’s mother and generations

mother’s mother’s mother and generations before that we can retrace our steps and

before that we can retrace our steps and

before that we can retrace our steps and find ourselves we can love so hard on

find ourselves we can love so hard on

find ourselves we can love so hard on our beings that the only way another can

our beings that the only way another can

our beings that the only way another can exist in our space is if they revere the

exist in our space is if they revere the

exist in our space is if they revere the divinity that is within us we after all

divinity that is within us we after all

divinity that is within us we after all teach others how to treat us by how we

teach others how to treat us by how we

teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves are you loving you

treat ourselves are you loving you

treat ourselves are you loving you enough you will know that you’re more

enough you will know that you’re more

enough you will know that you’re more than beautiful you are divine you are

than beautiful you are divine you are

than beautiful you are divine you are the Oracle you taught the word

the Oracle you taught the word

the Oracle you taught the word intelligence intelligence you made an

intelligence intelligence you made an

intelligence intelligence you made an oasis in a desert called life and you

oasis in a desert called life and you

oasis in a desert called life and you did it in sky-high heels

did it in sky-high heels

did it in sky-high heels they lied when he said you were not

they lied when he said you were not

they lied when he said you were not complete that’s all you where was equal

complete that’s all you where was equal

complete that’s all you where was equal to the ring on your finger or the

to the ring on your finger or the

to the ring on your finger or the product of your womb do you not see the

product of your womb do you not see the

product of your womb do you not see the tragedy convincing an Oracle it’s a

tragedy convincing an Oracle it’s a

tragedy convincing an Oracle it’s a slave slave to despicable crimes against

slave slave to despicable crimes against

slave slave to despicable crimes against body and spirit

body and spirit

body and spirit we must find what was lost draw from the

we must find what was lost draw from the

we must find what was lost draw from the source within you uproot the lies that

source within you uproot the lies that

source within you uproot the lies that have shaped you and find the love that

have shaped you and find the love that

have shaped you and find the love that is you my mother’s mother was a lady and

is you my mother’s mother was a lady and

is you my mother’s mother was a lady and her name was lady

her name was lady

her name was lady she was loved and she was loved my

she was loved and she was loved my

she was loved and she was loved my mother is the love I will show my

mother is the love I will show my

mother is the love I will show my daughter my daughter will never

daughter my daughter will never

daughter my daughter will never internalize seeing hate and anger used

internalize seeing hate and anger used

internalize seeing hate and anger used as a tool to show love what is that oh

as a tool to show love what is that oh

as a tool to show love what is that oh not under my roof oh she will tell her

not under my roof oh she will tell her

not under my roof oh she will tell her daughter her mother was a lady and she

daughter her mother was a lady and she

daughter her mother was a lady and she loved herself so fully it spilled out

loved herself so fully it spilled out

loved herself so fully it spilled out like sunshine and her father was lucky

like sunshine and her father was lucky

like sunshine and her father was lucky he had the honor to bask in it she will

he had the honor to bask in it she will

he had the honor to bask in it she will tell her daughter of love because she

tell her daughter of love because she

tell her daughter of love because she will blossom within it she will know who

will blossom within it she will know who

will blossom within it she will know who she is she will need no validation from

she is she will need no validation from

she is she will need no validation from any being outside of herself so she will

any being outside of herself so she will

any being outside of herself so she will tell tales of a strong woman with the

tell tales of a strong woman with the

tell tales of a strong woman with the back of Steel and a heart of silk a

back of Steel and a heart of silk a

back of Steel and a heart of silk a woman that believed not all men cheat

woman that believed not all men cheat

woman that believed not all men cheat and yes you can have it all my mother’s

and yes you can have it all my mother’s

and yes you can have it all my mother’s mother loved my mother like a mother

mother loved my mother like a mother

mother loved my mother like a mother loves me and I will understand how a

loves me and I will understand how a

loves me and I will understand how a human can pour their being selflessly

human can pour their being selflessly

human can pour their being selflessly into loving another when I become a

into loving another when I become a

into loving another when I become a mother thank

”

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