hello everyone so as you heard my name is Jordan Laird and I am studying at
is Jordan Laird and I am studying at
is Jordan Laird and I am studying at Trinity Western University in my first
Trinity Western University in my first
Trinity Western University in my first year I am studying to get my psych
year I am studying to get my psych
year I am studying to get my psych honors with Human Services degree and
honors with Human Services degree and
honors with Human Services degree and I’m size 10 now normally a greeting
I’m size 10 now normally a greeting
I’m size 10 now normally a greeting doesn’t include your size but for some
doesn’t include your size but for some
doesn’t include your size but for some reason our society actually it does so
reason our society actually it does so
reason our society actually it does so I’m gonna try an exercise with everyone
I’m gonna try an exercise with everyone
I’m gonna try an exercise with everyone and if you feel uncomfortable or you
and if you feel uncomfortable or you
and if you feel uncomfortable or you don’t want to say that’s fine you can
don’t want to say that’s fine you can
don’t want to say that’s fine you can just stay seated but what I want you to
just stay seated but what I want you to
just stay seated but what I want you to do is I want you to stand up and I want
do is I want you to stand up and I want
do is I want you to stand up and I want you to greet the people around you but
you to greet the people around you but
you to greet the people around you but instead of saying your name I want you
instead of saying your name I want you
instead of saying your name I want you to tell them your size
I don’t know if you noticed that the
I don’t know if you noticed that the room got a little quiet
okay awesome I hope you talk to someone
okay awesome I hope you talk to someone you didn’t know yeah probably not right
you didn’t know yeah probably not right
you didn’t know yeah probably not right yeah see we’ve created a society that
yeah see we’ve created a society that
yeah see we’ve created a society that judges people based on their size we
judges people based on their size we
judges people based on their size we presume that it’s the first thing that
presume that it’s the first thing that
presume that it’s the first thing that people see when in reality it’s not the
people see when in reality it’s not the
people see when in reality it’s not the first thing that they see but it’s the
first thing that they see but it’s the
first thing that they see but it’s the first thing that we see when we look in
first thing that we see when we look in
first thing that we see when we look in the mirror so I’m going to try another
the mirror so I’m going to try another
the mirror so I’m going to try another one with you guys what I want you to do
one with you guys what I want you to do
one with you guys what I want you to do is I want you to close your eyes please
is I want you to close your eyes please
is I want you to close your eyes please everyone close your eyes now I want you
everyone close your eyes now I want you
everyone close your eyes now I want you to raise your hand if you’ve ever been
to raise your hand if you’ve ever been
to raise your hand if you’ve ever been bullied raise your hand if you’ve ever
bullied raise your hand if you’ve ever
bullied raise your hand if you’ve ever been self-conscious about the way you
been self-conscious about the way you
been self-conscious about the way you look raise your hand if someone’s ever
look raise your hand if someone’s ever
look raise your hand if someone’s ever told you that you were ugly for a
told you that you were ugly for a
told you that you were ugly for a useless keep your hand up for all of
useless keep your hand up for all of
useless keep your hand up for all of them raise your hand if you’ve ever felt
them raise your hand if you’ve ever felt
them raise your hand if you’ve ever felt not good enough can’t wait to open your
not good enough can’t wait to open your
not good enough can’t wait to open your eyes keep your hands up look around you
two words that can change a person’s
two words that can change a person’s life me too
life me too
life me too you got to put your hands down now what
you got to put your hands down now what
you got to put your hands down now what would happen if everyone here to just
would happen if everyone here to just
would happen if everyone here to just put their hand up turn to the matrons
put their hand up turn to the matrons
put their hand up turn to the matrons that meet you
that meet you
that meet you what would happen we think that that’s
what would happen we think that that’s
what would happen we think that that’s what people see and we think that
what people see and we think that
what people see and we think that society judges us based on our weight or
society judges us based on our weight or
society judges us based on our weight or our size or who we are in psychology we
our size or who we are in psychology we
our size or who we are in psychology we talk about something called a Looking
talk about something called a Looking
talk about something called a Looking Glass self and it’s how we perceive the
Glass self and it’s how we perceive the
Glass self and it’s how we perceive the world as how we see ourselves in the
world as how we see ourselves in the
world as how we see ourselves in the mirror now everybody faces the time
mirror now everybody faces the time
mirror now everybody faces the time where they feel like they don’t belong
where they feel like they don’t belong
where they feel like they don’t belong everybody faces the time when they’re
everybody faces the time when they’re
everybody faces the time when they’re staring at themselves in the mirror and
staring at themselves in the mirror and
staring at themselves in the mirror and they’re searching for the good things
they’re searching for the good things
they’re searching for the good things about them but they can’t find it I know
about them but they can’t find it I know
about them but they can’t find it I know that I have now growing up I was never
that I have now growing up I was never
that I have now growing up I was never really the kid that would really care
really the kid that would really care
really the kid that would really care what other people thought I would go
what other people thought I would go
what other people thought I would go outside the house wearing whatever my
outside the house wearing whatever my
outside the house wearing whatever my sister be like no go upstairs and change
sister be like no go upstairs and change
sister be like no go upstairs and change yeah and but it didn’t matter to me it
yeah and but it didn’t matter to me it
yeah and but it didn’t matter to me it didn’t matter what other people thought
didn’t matter what other people thought
didn’t matter what other people thought either you were my friend or you didn’t
either you were my friend or you didn’t
either you were my friend or you didn’t like me you moved on it’s fine I know
like me you moved on it’s fine I know
like me you moved on it’s fine I know but I was like that up until about grade
but I was like that up until about grade
but I was like that up until about grade 10 and I was always really involved in
10 and I was always really involved in
10 and I was always really involved in things so I was involved with music and
things so I was involved with music and
things so I was involved with music and school and leadership and softball and
school and leadership and softball and
school and leadership and softball and for all of those who know me they know
for all of those who know me they know
for all of those who know me they know that softball is not just an activity
that softball is not just an activity
that softball is not just an activity it’s my life it is a way of life and
it’s my life it is a way of life and
it’s my life it is a way of life and it’s not only my life but it’s my
it’s not only my life but it’s my
it’s not only my life but it’s my family’s life and it’s been my family’s
family’s life and it’s been my family’s
family’s life and it’s been my family’s life since my grandparents played when
life since my grandparents played when
life since my grandparents played when they were kids and so I’ve been playing
they were kids and so I’ve been playing
they were kids and so I’ve been playing for about 14 years and I’ve never really
for about 14 years and I’ve never really
for about 14 years and I’ve never really played at a competitive level until
played at a competitive level until
played at a competitive level until grade 10 and so when I started playing
grade 10 and so when I started playing
grade 10 and so when I started playing repu softball I realized that all the
repu softball I realized that all the
repu softball I realized that all the other girls could run faster than me and
other girls could run faster than me and
other girls could run faster than me and all the other girls could do more
all the other girls could do more
all the other girls could do more sit-ups and push-ups than I could and I
sit-ups and push-ups than I could and I
sit-ups and push-ups than I could and I started to feel like I wasn’t good
started to feel like I wasn’t good
started to feel like I wasn’t good enough to make the team I wasn’t I
enough to make the team I wasn’t I
enough to make the team I wasn’t I wasn’t at the same level as the other
wasn’t at the same level as the other
wasn’t at the same level as the other girls you know they’ve been playing
girls you know they’ve been playing
girls you know they’ve been playing together on a competitive level for a
together on a competitive level for a
together on a competitive level for a lot longer than I have and in reality
lot longer than I have and in reality
lot longer than I have and in reality fitness-wise I actually wasn’t that much
fitness-wise I actually wasn’t that much
fitness-wise I actually wasn’t that much different than they were I actually fit
different than they were I actually fit
different than they were I actually fit in pretty well but I thought I stuck out
in pretty well but I thought I stuck out
in pretty well but I thought I stuck out like a sore thumb and so I started to
like a sore thumb and so I started to
like a sore thumb and so I started to work on it and I pushed myself harder
work on it and I pushed myself harder
work on it and I pushed myself harder and harder so that I could keep up with
and harder so that I could keep up with
and harder so that I could keep up with the rest of the girls and so I started
the rest of the girls and so I started
the rest of the girls and so I started working out more and eating less and at
working out more and eating less and at
working out more and eating less and at first I felt good about myself I was I
first I felt good about myself I was I
first I felt good about myself I was I was being able to run faster I could do
was being able to run faster I could do
was being able to run faster I could do more sit-ups and push-ups I felt like I
more sit-ups and push-ups I felt like I
more sit-ups and push-ups I felt like I was kind of mixing in with the team a
was kind of mixing in with the team a
was kind of mixing in with the team a little bit more and I never really
little bit more and I never really
little bit more and I never really thought that what I was doing was
thought that what I was doing was
thought that what I was doing was control up until the last year so last
control up until the last year so last
control up until the last year so last year was the busy serie ball I joined
year was the busy serie ball I joined
year was the busy serie ball I joined five different leadership groups I was
five different leadership groups I was
five different leadership groups I was traveling to leadership conferences my
traveling to leadership conferences my
traveling to leadership conferences my family started singing at events I got a
family started singing at events I got a
family started singing at events I got a lead in our School Musical and I finally
lead in our School Musical and I finally
lead in our School Musical and I finally made the provincial winning softball
made the provincial winning softball
made the provincial winning softball team that I’ve been trying to make the
team that I’ve been trying to make the
team that I’ve been trying to make the past two years and I realized that the
past two years and I realized that the
past two years and I realized that the rhythm that I had the not eating as much
rhythm that I had the not eating as much
rhythm that I had the not eating as much and working out I thought I was healthy
and working out I thought I was healthy
and working out I thought I was healthy but I started spending more and more
but I started spending more and more
but I started spending more and more time looking in the mirror and seeing
time looking in the mirror and seeing
time looking in the mirror and seeing what others saw or what I thought they
what others saw or what I thought they
what others saw or what I thought they saw and so I started taking every single
saw and so I started taking every single
saw and so I started taking every single comment that anybody anybody made to
comment that anybody anybody made to
comment that anybody anybody made to heart especially from one friend now me
heart especially from one friend now me
heart especially from one friend now me and this friend we’ve known each other
and this friend we’ve known each other
and this friend we’ve known each other for years but we didn’t actually start
for years but we didn’t actually start
for years but we didn’t actually start to come in close friends up until about
to come in close friends up until about
to come in close friends up until about last September and I knew this person
last September and I knew this person
last September and I knew this person was controlling and I knew this person
was controlling and I knew this person
was controlling and I knew this person took all of my attention and I knew this
took all of my attention and I knew this
took all of my attention and I knew this person needed their way but I liked the
person needed their way but I liked the
person needed their way but I liked the attention I got from this person and I
attention I got from this person and I
attention I got from this person and I enjoyed being around them and so months
enjoyed being around them and so months
enjoyed being around them and so months went by him you’re getting closer but
went by him you’re getting closer but
went by him you’re getting closer but nothing really changed I was the same my
nothing really changed I was the same my
nothing really changed I was the same my same self but then as time started to go
same self but then as time started to go
same self but then as time started to go and we started to get closer and closer
and we started to get closer and closer
and we started to get closer and closer my well-being or decrease they made
my well-being or decrease they made
my well-being or decrease they made comments about who they thought I should
comments about who they thought I should
comments about who they thought I should be and because I valued this person’s
be and because I valued this person’s
be and because I valued this person’s opinion I changed accordingly I pushed
opinion I changed accordingly I pushed
opinion I changed accordingly I pushed all my friends and my family aside for
all my friends and my family aside for
all my friends and my family aside for this person and they criticized
this person and they criticized
this person and they criticized everything I did or I said and it got to
everything I did or I said and it got to
everything I did or I said and it got to a point where I didn’t it didn’t matter
a point where I didn’t it didn’t matter
a point where I didn’t it didn’t matter what they said anymore
what they said anymore
what they said anymore I didn’t care but I listened anyway so I
I didn’t care but I listened anyway so I
I didn’t care but I listened anyway so I started eating even less
started eating even less
started eating even less because I thought that that just made me
because I thought that that just made me
because I thought that that just made me feel better and I felt awful about
feel better and I felt awful about
feel better and I felt awful about myself this person made me feel awful
myself this person made me feel awful
myself this person made me feel awful but I still spent time with that and I
but I still spent time with that and I
but I still spent time with that and I still was their friend and people were
still was their friend and people were
still was their friend and people were looking at me like I was crazy like why
looking at me like I was crazy like why
looking at me like I was crazy like why are you still friends with this person
are you still friends with this person
are you still friends with this person I’m like nobody care about me they care
I’m like nobody care about me they care
I’m like nobody care about me they care I know they care and so I was losing
I know they care and so I was losing
I know they care and so I was losing weight I wasn’t getting enough sleep my
weight I wasn’t getting enough sleep my
weight I wasn’t getting enough sleep my grades started to drop and so I was
grades started to drop and so I was
grades started to drop and so I was spending so much time with this person
spending so much time with this person
spending so much time with this person that all of my commitments all my
that all of my commitments all my
that all of my commitments all my priorities became second and I can’t
priorities became second and I can’t
priorities became second and I can’t even further away from that myself my
even further away from that myself my
even further away from that myself my well-being wasn’t even on the radar for
well-being wasn’t even on the radar for
well-being wasn’t even on the radar for me and so what I was doing is I was
me and so what I was doing is I was
me and so what I was doing is I was working out more I wasn’t eating as much
working out more I wasn’t eating as much
working out more I wasn’t eating as much as I should and I wasn’t getting enough
as I should and I wasn’t getting enough
as I should and I wasn’t getting enough sleep it was almost like I was climbing
sleep it was almost like I was climbing
sleep it was almost like I was climbing up this ladder and each rung represented
up this ladder and each rung represented
up this ladder and each rung represented something I thought that I should be and
something I thought that I should be and
something I thought that I should be and when I got to the top of a ladder I
when I got to the top of a ladder I
when I got to the top of a ladder I realized that I was leaning on the wrong
realized that I was leaning on the wrong
realized that I was leaning on the wrong wall but I was too tired to even try
wall but I was too tired to even try
wall but I was too tired to even try anymore I couldn’t even make it through
anymore I couldn’t even make it through
anymore I couldn’t even make it through a school day without feeling completely
a school day without feeling completely
a school day without feeling completely exhausted I was a zombie I was just
exhausted I was a zombie I was just
exhausted I was a zombie I was just going about day-by-day and and nothing
going about day-by-day and and nothing
going about day-by-day and and nothing mattered to me anymore TV has created
mattered to me anymore TV has created
mattered to me anymore TV has created this ideal male or female and we expect
this ideal male or female and we expect
this ideal male or female and we expect ourselves to be that way and so we let
ourselves to be that way and so we let
ourselves to be that way and so we let every other person hold the pen to our
every other person hold the pen to our
every other person hold the pen to our story and we forget to take it ourselves
story and we forget to take it ourselves
story and we forget to take it ourselves and write a sentence we forget
I was tired of looking at myself in the
I was tired of looking at myself in the mirror and hating when I saw and so I
mirror and hating when I saw and so I
mirror and hating when I saw and so I just stopped looking
just stopped looking
just stopped looking I stopped so I bring you back to two
I stopped so I bring you back to two
I stopped so I bring you back to two words I said to be any of this me too
words I said to be any of this me too
words I said to be any of this me too and how to change person’s life no one
and how to change person’s life no one
and how to change person’s life no one is going through this alone
is going through this alone
is going through this alone 51% of nine and ten-year-old girls when
51% of nine and ten-year-old girls when
51% of nine and ten-year-old girls when a guy to feel better about themselves
40% of girls in grade 10 think they are
40% of girls in grade 10 think they are too fat body shaming leads to mental
too fat body shaming leads to mental
too fat body shaming leads to mental health issues and can lead to eating
health issues and can lead to eating
health issues and can lead to eating disorders research has shown that we
disorders research has shown that we
disorders research has shown that we don’t go for help and when you try to do
don’t go for help and when you try to do
don’t go for help and when you try to do it alone it normally leads to eating
it alone it normally leads to eating
it alone it normally leads to eating disorders and your mental well-being
disorders and your mental well-being
disorders and your mental well-being starts to look down but we think that we
starts to look down but we think that we
starts to look down but we think that we need to do this alone because this is a
need to do this alone because this is a
need to do this alone because this is a my problem this isn’t a world problem
my problem this isn’t a world problem
my problem this isn’t a world problem this is a me problem and in reality it’s
this is a me problem and in reality it’s
this is a me problem and in reality it’s not it’s not any problem because
not it’s not any problem because
not it’s not any problem because everybody goes through it how many of
everybody goes through it how many of
everybody goes through it how many of you put up your hands when I asked you
so when you’re looking in front of the
so when you’re looking in front of the mirror and you’re thinking these things
mirror and you’re thinking these things
mirror and you’re thinking these things about yourself what would happen if you
about yourself what would happen if you
about yourself what would happen if you turn to your neighbor and you said me
turn to your neighbor and you said me
turn to your neighbor and you said me too that would change their life they
too that would change their life they
too that would change their life they know they’re not alone and you know
know they’re not alone and you know
know they’re not alone and you know you’re not alone either
you’re not alone either
you’re not alone either I saw everything I wasn’t when I looked
I saw everything I wasn’t when I looked
I saw everything I wasn’t when I looked in the mirror and it wasn’t until I got
in the mirror and it wasn’t until I got
in the mirror and it wasn’t until I got to Trinity and me and this friend
to Trinity and me and this friend
to Trinity and me and this friend started to drift apart when I realized
started to drift apart when I realized
started to drift apart when I realized that everything I thought I was was
that everything I thought I was was
that everything I thought I was was wrong
what would happen if we stopped seeing
what would happen if we stopped seeing this someone looked in the mirror what
this someone looked in the mirror what
this someone looked in the mirror what would happen if this turns back because
would happen if this turns back because
would happen if this turns back because that is what we are
what would happened is people would stop
what would happened is people would stop walking up the wrong ladder leading on
walking up the wrong ladder leading on
walking up the wrong ladder leading on the wrong wall instead they’re gonna
the wrong wall instead they’re gonna
the wrong wall instead they’re gonna walk up the right ladder leaning on the
walk up the right ladder leaning on the
walk up the right ladder leaning on the right wall so one day I was I was
right wall so one day I was I was
right wall so one day I was I was walking a class and we have this message
walking a class and we have this message
walking a class and we have this message written on the side of our sidewalk and
written on the side of our sidewalk and
written on the side of our sidewalk and this is what it said don’t doubt in the
this is what it said don’t doubt in the
this is what it said don’t doubt in the dark but he has shown you in the light
dark but he has shown you in the light
dark but he has shown you in the light and I started looking back at all the
and I started looking back at all the
and I started looking back at all the years where I loved everything I did and
years where I loved everything I did and
years where I loved everything I did and I loved being able to fit in and belong
I loved being able to fit in and belong
I loved being able to fit in and belong did I wanted to be that person again
did I wanted to be that person again
did I wanted to be that person again I missed that person see I’ve heard this
I missed that person see I’ve heard this
I missed that person see I’ve heard this before but it never really meant
before but it never really meant
before but it never really meant anything to me and forced omurice at
anything to me and forced omurice at
anything to me and forced omurice at this moment it did at that moment I
this moment it did at that moment I
this moment it did at that moment I decided to climb down the ladder that
decided to climb down the ladder that
decided to climb down the ladder that I’ve been climbing through the past
I’ve been climbing through the past
I’ve been climbing through the past three years
three years
three years take it and shift it to a different wall
take it and shift it to a different wall
take it and shift it to a different wall and that was the easiest and the hardest
and that was the easiest and the hardest
and that was the easiest and the hardest decision that I had to make
so you want to get the next day I wore
so you want to get the next day I wore this dress see I got this at the
this dress see I got this at the
this dress see I got this at the beginning of the summer thinking oh yeah
beginning of the summer thinking oh yeah
beginning of the summer thinking oh yeah I’m totally wear it yeah I never
I’m totally wear it yeah I never
I’m totally wear it yeah I never happened and I hate wearing dresses I
happened and I hate wearing dresses I
happened and I hate wearing dresses I hate dressing up but see I I didn’t put
hate dressing up but see I I didn’t put
hate dressing up but see I I didn’t put the dress on because I had to or because
the dress on because I had to or because
the dress on because I had to or because there was some kind of special event I
there was some kind of special event I
there was some kind of special event I put it on because I wanted to and I put
put it on because I wanted to and I put
put it on because I wanted to and I put it on to show myself that I wasn’t gonna
it on to show myself that I wasn’t gonna
it on to show myself that I wasn’t gonna let other people’s comments dictate who
let other people’s comments dictate who
let other people’s comments dictate who I thought I should be anymore
so I started working on all of my
so I started working on all of my relationships and you know what happened
relationships and you know what happened
relationships and you know what happened I looked in the mirror and I still saw
I looked in the mirror and I still saw
I looked in the mirror and I still saw my flaws I still saw everything that I
my flaws I still saw everything that I
my flaws I still saw everything that I wasn’t but the difference between me now
wasn’t but the difference between me now
wasn’t but the difference between me now and me three years ago was that I kept
and me three years ago was that I kept
and me three years ago was that I kept looking I didn’t stop looking I didn’t
looking I didn’t stop looking I didn’t
looking I didn’t stop looking I didn’t stop looking at what I saw the flaws and
stop looking at what I saw the flaws and
stop looking at what I saw the flaws and what I saw was a better sister a better
what I saw was a better sister a better
what I saw was a better sister a better daughter and about a friend I saw my
daughter and about a friend I saw my
daughter and about a friend I saw my beauty through all of the flaws that I
beauty through all of the flaws that I
beauty through all of the flaws that I think I saw three years ago I saw my
think I saw three years ago I saw my
think I saw three years ago I saw my beauty so I encourage you guys to take
beauty so I encourage you guys to take
beauty so I encourage you guys to take your ladder and shift it to a different
your ladder and shift it to a different
your ladder and shift it to a different wall and stop seeing this because this
wall and stop seeing this because this
wall and stop seeing this because this is not what you are that is what you are
is not what you are that is what you are
is not what you are that is what you are I realized that I wasn’t perfect but I
I realized that I wasn’t perfect but I
I realized that I wasn’t perfect but I was perfectly imperfect I was beautiful
was perfectly imperfect I was beautiful
was perfectly imperfect I was beautiful so hi my name is Jordan Laird I’m a
so hi my name is Jordan Laird I’m a
so hi my name is Jordan Laird I’m a psychology student at Trinity Western
psychology student at Trinity Western
psychology student at Trinity Western University I’m size 10 165 pounds I’m a
University I’m size 10 165 pounds I’m a
University I’m size 10 165 pounds I’m a Christian I’m a social justice activist
Christian I’m a social justice activist
Christian I’m a social justice activist I’m an athlete a singer musician
I’m an athlete a singer musician
I’m an athlete a singer musician I’m a sister a student a daughter a
I’m a sister a student a daughter a
I’m a sister a student a daughter a granddaughter and niece my cousin and a
granddaughter and niece my cousin and a
granddaughter and niece my cousin and a friend and there is so much more to me
friend and there is so much more to me
friend and there is so much more to me than what I look like and there are so
than what I look like and there are so
than what I look like and there are so much more to you than what you look like
much more to you than what you look like
much more to you than what you look like because all of you aren’t beautiful and
because all of you aren’t beautiful and
because all of you aren’t beautiful and that is the most important lesson that
that is the most important lesson that
that is the most important lesson that you can learn in your lives now I I know
you can learn in your lives now I I know
you can learn in your lives now I I know who I am and when times get rough I
who I am and when times get rough I
who I am and when times get rough I remind myself of who I’ve become and
remind myself of who I’ve become and
remind myself of who I’ve become and that is beautiful so you’re not your
that is beautiful so you’re not your
that is beautiful so you’re not your size you are so much more than that and
size you are so much more than that and
size you are so much more than that and I’m not my size we’re not our size we’re
I’m not my size we’re not our size we’re
I’m not my size we’re not our size we’re beautiful so hi my name is Jorden Larry
beautiful so hi my name is Jorden Larry
beautiful so hi my name is Jorden Larry that’s who I am just me just snortin
that’s who I am just me just snortin
that’s who I am just me just snortin thank you
”
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