in 2015 I decided to reimagine the humble pom-pom as a vessel for
humble pom-pom as a vessel for
humble pom-pom as a vessel for apologizing and invited others to do the
apologizing and invited others to do the
apologizing and invited others to do the same I started this project after
same I started this project after
same I started this project after reconciling with an old friend who I had
reconciling with an old friend who I had
reconciling with an old friend who I had previously had an awful falling-out with
previously had an awful falling-out with
previously had an awful falling-out with after the encounter I was struck by the
after the encounter I was struck by the
after the encounter I was struck by the notion of how this previously fractured
notion of how this previously fractured
notion of how this previously fractured friendship could be mended simply with a
friendship could be mended simply with a
friendship could be mended simply with a few words it left me feeling so stupid
few words it left me feeling so stupid
few words it left me feeling so stupid for not apologizing sooner and made me
for not apologizing sooner and made me
for not apologizing sooner and made me realize how relieved and changed I felt
realize how relieved and changed I felt
realize how relieved and changed I felt after this experience got me thinking if
after this experience got me thinking if
after this experience got me thinking if apologizing can be such a catalyst for
apologizing can be such a catalyst for
apologizing can be such a catalyst for positivity why do so many of us fail to
positivity why do so many of us fail to
positivity why do so many of us fail to do it it also left me wondering what
do it it also left me wondering what
do it it also left me wondering what other unspoken apologies I and the
other unspoken apologies I and the
other unspoken apologies I and the people around me might be holding on to
people around me might be holding on to
people around me might be holding on to and how this could be affecting our
and how this could be affecting our
and how this could be affecting our lives so with all this in mind I decided
lives so with all this in mind I decided
lives so with all this in mind I decided to begin sharing some of my personal
to begin sharing some of my personal
to begin sharing some of my personal apologies by attaching them to pom poms
apologies by attaching them to pom poms
apologies by attaching them to pom poms my method was and remains fairly simple
my method was and remains fairly simple
my method was and remains fairly simple I would write out my apology on a piece
I would write out my apology on a piece
I would write out my apology on a piece of paper attach that to a toothpick and
of paper attach that to a toothpick and
of paper attach that to a toothpick and then attach that to a handmade pom pom I
then attach that to a handmade pom pom I
then attach that to a handmade pom pom I started this cycle of making and
started this cycle of making and
started this cycle of making and apologizing apologizing and making and
apologizing apologizing and making and
apologizing apologizing and making and soon found that I just couldn’t stop I
soon found that I just couldn’t stop I
soon found that I just couldn’t stop I reflected on things I was truly sorry
reflected on things I was truly sorry
reflected on things I was truly sorry for things I don’t when I was little as
for things I don’t when I was little as
for things I don’t when I was little as a teenager as an adult at the end of
a teenager as an adult at the end of
a teenager as an adult at the end of this kind of making frenzy I ended up
this kind of making frenzy I ended up
this kind of making frenzy I ended up with a small mass of what I now call
with a small mass of what I now call
with a small mass of what I now call apologies and now at first his apologies
apologies and now at first his apologies
apologies and now at first his apologies lived just a fear strictly in my studio
lived just a fear strictly in my studio
lived just a fear strictly in my studio at home and then I decided to start
at home and then I decided to start
at home and then I decided to start leaving them around my house for my
leaving them around my house for my
leaving them around my house for my husband to find and then I decided to
husband to find and then I decided to
husband to find and then I decided to start leaving them around my suburb at
start leaving them around my suburb at
start leaving them around my suburb at bus stops on people’s letterboxes and
bus stops on people’s letterboxes and
bus stops on people’s letterboxes and then I decided that I would start taking
then I decided that I would start taking
then I decided that I would start taking photos of them in their sir
photos of them in their sir
photos of them in their sir and uploading the images to social media
and uploading the images to social media
and uploading the images to social media now as soon as I did this I was
now as soon as I did this I was
now as soon as I did this I was inundated with inquiries and emails
inundated with inquiries and emails
inundated with inquiries and emails regarding what I had posted where had
regarding what I had posted where had
regarding what I had posted where had these images come from who was sharing
these images come from who was sharing
these images come from who was sharing these apologies
these apologies
these apologies why were they attached to a pom pom and
why were they attached to a pom pom and
why were they attached to a pom pom and could they share one too so from this
could they share one too so from this
could they share one too so from this flood of interest and inquiry I thought
flood of interest and inquiry I thought
flood of interest and inquiry I thought let’s do a pom pom making workshop let’s
let’s do a pom pom making workshop let’s
let’s do a pom pom making workshop let’s have an apology making workshop and so
have an apology making workshop and so
have an apology making workshop and so we had a small one at my home this
we had a small one at my home this
we had a small one at my home this workshop was small but the outpouring of
workshop was small but the outpouring of
workshop was small but the outpouring of emotion storytelling and reflection that
emotion storytelling and reflection that
emotion storytelling and reflection that occurred was truly immense at the end of
occurred was truly immense at the end of
occurred was truly immense at the end of this session again I was left with
this session again I was left with
this session again I was left with another collection of apologies and with
another collection of apologies and with
another collection of apologies and with the permission of the workshop attendees
the permission of the workshop attendees
the permission of the workshop attendees I began uploading their submissions to
I began uploading their submissions to
I began uploading their submissions to the social media channels with every
the social media channels with every
the social media channels with every image posted the number of people
image posted the number of people
image posted the number of people contacting me to share their own apology
contacting me to share their own apology
contacting me to share their own apology multiplied and from this first small
multiplied and from this first small
multiplied and from this first small workshop in my front yard
workshop in my front yard
workshop in my front yard I’ve now amassed thousands of apologies
I’ve now amassed thousands of apologies
I’ve now amassed thousands of apologies each bearing a message of personal
each bearing a message of personal
each bearing a message of personal apology at every workshop I have
apology at every workshop I have
apology at every workshop I have attended I am struck by how passionate
attended I am struck by how passionate
attended I am struck by how passionate and prepared people are to share with me
and prepared people are to share with me
and prepared people are to share with me their stories from my home to workshops
their stories from my home to workshops
their stories from my home to workshops at schools galleries festivals and
at schools galleries festivals and
at schools galleries festivals and nursing homes apology has spread around
nursing homes apology has spread around
nursing homes apology has spread around the world with workshops taking place in
the world with workshops taking place in
the world with workshops taking place in China
China
China Kenya Melbourne Grace in New York the
Kenya Melbourne Grace in New York the
Kenya Melbourne Grace in New York the submissions – apology reflect the
submissions – apology reflect the
submissions – apology reflect the diverse expressions of apology from
diverse expressions of apology from
diverse expressions of apology from people across the globe I’m sorry I let
people across the globe I’m sorry I let
people across the globe I’m sorry I let us be silently in love with each other
us be silently in love with each other
us be silently in love with each other for so long I’m sorry that now you’ve
for so long I’m sorry that now you’ve
for so long I’m sorry that now you’ve made the first step it’s too late I’m
made the first step it’s too late I’m
made the first step it’s too late I’m sorry mama love and miss you so bad I’m
sorry mama love and miss you so bad I’m
sorry mama love and miss you so bad I’m sorry I love goats more than I love you
sorry I love goats more than I love you
sorry I love goats more than I love you I’m sorry that after a year of
I’m sorry that after a year of
I’m sorry that after a year of passionate sleepover parties you still
passionate sleepover parties you still
passionate sleepover parties you still don’t want anything more from me than
don’t want anything more from me than
don’t want anything more from me than sex I would do anything to change this
sex I would do anything to change this
sex I would do anything to change this I’m sorry I wiped my boogers underneath
I’m sorry I wiped my boogers underneath
I’m sorry I wiped my boogers underneath convenient pieces of furniture I’m sorry
convenient pieces of furniture I’m sorry
convenient pieces of furniture I’m sorry for all the mean things I’ve ever done
for all the mean things I’ve ever done
for all the mean things I’ve ever done towards people I really am apologizing
towards people I really am apologizing
towards people I really am apologizing can be uncomfortable apologizing can be
can be uncomfortable apologizing can be
can be uncomfortable apologizing can be hard
hard
hard apologizing can sometimes be an
apologizing can sometimes be an
apologizing can sometimes be an unavoidable part of our lives
unavoidable part of our lives
unavoidable part of our lives traditionally when we apologize to
traditionally when we apologize to
traditionally when we apologize to someone we’re expected to do so either
someone we’re expected to do so either
someone we’re expected to do so either verbally face-to-face or in writing to
verbally face-to-face or in writing to
verbally face-to-face or in writing to let them know we’re sorry however in
let them know we’re sorry however in
let them know we’re sorry however in this project
this project
this project apologies are asked have been done
apologies are asked have been done
apologies are asked have been done anonymously so more often than not if
anonymously so more often than not if
anonymously so more often than not if there is a deserving recipient they
there is a deserving recipient they
there is a deserving recipient they don’t know an apology has been made so
don’t know an apology has been made so
don’t know an apology has been made so what’s the point what about the wronged
what’s the point what about the wronged
what’s the point what about the wronged party isn’t this all just some massive
party isn’t this all just some massive
party isn’t this all just some massive self-serving project well yes it is
self-serving project well yes it is
self-serving project well yes it is this project is self-indulgent but that
this project is self-indulgent but that
this project is self-indulgent but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t valuable and
doesn’t mean that it isn’t valuable and
doesn’t mean that it isn’t valuable and encouraging of self-examination that
encouraging of self-examination that
encouraging of self-examination that doesn’t mean that the community of
doesn’t mean that the community of
doesn’t mean that the community of sharing and discussion that has been
sharing and discussion that has been
sharing and discussion that has been generated from this project isn’t
generated from this project isn’t
generated from this project isn’t worthwhile and for some people necessary
worthwhile and for some people necessary
worthwhile and for some people necessary because if people didn’t need this
because if people didn’t need this
because if people didn’t need this Avenue for expression then apology
Avenue for expression then apology
Avenue for expression then apology simply wouldn’t exist the community of
simply wouldn’t exist the community of
simply wouldn’t exist the community of sharers is what has made this project
sharers is what has made this project
sharers is what has made this project what it is without their honesty and
what it is without their honesty and
what it is without their honesty and willingness to take part apology
willingness to take part apology
willingness to take part apology probably would have ended around the
probably would have ended around the
probably would have ended around the time I left this one in my neighbor’s
time I left this one in my neighbor’s
time I left this one in my neighbor’s shoe and whilst this project is
shoe and whilst this project is
shoe and whilst this project is primarily servicing the apologizer
primarily servicing the apologizer
primarily servicing the apologizer it is also connecting with the thousands
it is also connecting with the thousands
it is also connecting with the thousands of others who engage with this project
of others who engage with this project
of others who engage with this project each day simply to read the submissions
each day simply to read the submissions
each day simply to read the submissions that have been posted this in itself has
that have been posted this in itself has
that have been posted this in itself has had an effect people have contacted me
had an effect people have contacted me
had an effect people have contacted me to say that they have been moved to make
to say that they have been moved to make
to say that they have been moved to make a verbal apology to someone after
a verbal apology to someone after
a verbal apology to someone after reading through the project others have
reading through the project others have
reading through the project others have simply said that it spurs an immense
simply said that it spurs an immense
simply said that it spurs an immense feeling of connection and comfort
feeling of connection and comfort
feeling of connection and comfort they’re comforted to know that there are
they’re comforted to know that there are
they’re comforted to know that there are people out there sharing in their
people out there sharing in their
people out there sharing in their challenges and difficulties it acts as a
challenges and difficulties it acts as a
challenges and difficulties it acts as a reminder that we are not alone and then
reminder that we are not alone and then
reminder that we are not alone and then is something to be learnt from our
is something to be learnt from our
is something to be learnt from our shared apologies I have questioned why
shared apologies I have questioned why
shared apologies I have questioned why are people doing this
are people doing this
are people doing this why has this project resonated with so
why has this project resonated with so
why has this project resonated with so many when the premise of sharing is so
many when the premise of sharing is so
many when the premise of sharing is so simple whilst I don’t have all the
simple whilst I don’t have all the
simple whilst I don’t have all the answers
answers
answers this project has highlighted to me how
this project has highlighted to me how
this project has highlighted to me how significant it is to have a space to
significant it is to have a space to
significant it is to have a space to share our stories because an apology is
share our stories because an apology is
share our stories because an apology is a vessel a facilitator a pathway to the
a vessel a facilitator a pathway to the
a vessel a facilitator a pathway to the process of facing up to the things we’re
process of facing up to the things we’re
process of facing up to the things we’re sorry for because saying sorry requires
sorry for because saying sorry requires
sorry for because saying sorry requires bravery courage honesty and humility and
bravery courage honesty and humility and
bravery courage honesty and humility and many of us find this difficult and many
many of us find this difficult and many
many of us find this difficult and many of us need a space to talk about it so I
of us need a space to talk about it so I
of us need a space to talk about it so I encourage you all to think about your
encourage you all to think about your
encourage you all to think about your own story of an unspoken apology and
own story of an unspoken apology and
own story of an unspoken apology and consider taking the opportunity to share
consider taking the opportunity to share
consider taking the opportunity to share it
you
you [Music]
”
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