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Is Your Body Image Holding You Back? | Rani St. Pucchi | TEDxWilmington


I would like to ask you how do you feel

I would like to ask you how do you feel about your body in this very moment are

about your body in this very moment are

about your body in this very moment are you proud of your body or do you try to

you proud of your body or do you try to

you proud of your body or do you try to hide it does it create stress for you

hide it does it create stress for you

hide it does it create stress for you when you look in the mirror it’s your

when you look in the mirror it’s your

when you look in the mirror it’s your body image holding you back from showing

body image holding you back from showing

body image holding you back from showing up in the world as the beautiful and

up in the world as the beautiful and

up in the world as the beautiful and powerful being that you are inside when

powerful being that you are inside when

powerful being that you are inside when I started my design house st. Pucci in

I started my design house st. Pucci in

I started my design house st. Pucci in 1985 all my runway shows from Milan to

1985 all my runway shows from Milan to

1985 all my runway shows from Milan to New York featured models in sizes eight

New York featured models in sizes eight

New York featured models in sizes eight or ten that was the fashion industry

or ten that was the fashion industry

or ten that was the fashion industry norm back then as time went on I noticed

norm back then as time went on I noticed

norm back then as time went on I noticed an alarming trend if we had models

an alarming trend if we had models

an alarming trend if we had models larger than a size two on the catwalk

larger than a size two on the catwalk

larger than a size two on the catwalk the press would refuse to feature them

the press would refuse to feature them

the press would refuse to feature them in their magazines in 2010 when

in their magazines in 2010 when

in their magazines in 2010 when Swarovski asked me to design a dress

Swarovski asked me to design a dress

Swarovski asked me to design a dress featuring their latest collection of

featuring their latest collection of

featuring their latest collection of various shapes of crystals I came up

various shapes of crystals I came up

various shapes of crystals I came up with this masterpiece and showed it on

with this masterpiece and showed it on

with this masterpiece and showed it on the catwalks and the Waldorf Astoria in

the catwalks and the Waldorf Astoria in

the catwalks and the Waldorf Astoria in New York as my model walked down the

New York as my model walked down the

New York as my model walked down the runway in this creation of shimmering

runway in this creation of shimmering

runway in this creation of shimmering crystals and intricate hand embroidery

crystals and intricate hand embroidery

crystals and intricate hand embroidery the entire hall of more than 500 people

the entire hall of more than 500 people

the entire hall of more than 500 people erupted with excitement but I was

erupted with excitement but I was

erupted with excitement but I was shocked when the press ignored this

shocked when the press ignored this

shocked when the press ignored this design that received standing ovations I

design that received standing ovations I

design that received standing ovations I found out later that there had made a

found out later that there had made a

found out later that there had made a deliberate editorial decision that my

deliberate editorial decision that my

deliberate editorial decision that my model at a size six was too heavy you

model at a size six was too heavy you

model at a size six was too heavy you see the image of a fashion model is of

see the image of a fashion model is of

see the image of a fashion model is of great significance to our culture she is

great significance to our culture she is

great significance to our culture she is a dream an unattainable ideal a paragon

a dream an unattainable ideal a paragon

a dream an unattainable ideal a paragon of beauty and consequently a symbol of

of beauty and consequently a symbol of

of beauty and consequently a symbol of oppression for many women who strive all

oppression for many women who strive all

oppression for many women who strive all their lives to be like her but

their lives to be like her but

their lives to be like her but inevitably fail because of the media

inevitably fail because of the media

inevitably fail because of the media body dissatisfaction has become an even

body dissatisfaction has become an even

body dissatisfaction has become an even a problem in recent years in Western

a problem in recent years in Western

a problem in recent years in Western societies especially the ideal body is a

societies especially the ideal body is a

societies especially the ideal body is a body that is extremely thin preferably

body that is extremely thin preferably

body that is extremely thin preferably white of a certain shape and size the

white of a certain shape and size the

white of a certain shape and size the very thin and beautiful models you see

very thin and beautiful models you see

very thin and beautiful models you see on the catwalks on social media in

on the catwalks on social media in

on the catwalks on social media in magazines are considered the most

magazines are considered the most

magazines are considered the most successful and socially desirable people

successful and socially desirable people

successful and socially desirable people on the planet did you know that most

on the planet did you know that most

on the planet did you know that most images showing us are in fact for the

images showing us are in fact for the

images showing us are in fact for the shot a model is made to look lighter

shot a model is made to look lighter

shot a model is made to look lighter taller skinnier and her skin tone is

taller skinnier and her skin tone is

taller skinnier and her skin tone is perfected sometimes to the point of

perfected sometimes to the point of

perfected sometimes to the point of being unrecognizable

being unrecognizable

being unrecognizable oddly enough of the more than 15,000

oddly enough of the more than 15,000

oddly enough of the more than 15,000 women I have personally worked with over

women I have personally worked with over

women I have personally worked with over the years most were between sizes 10 and

the years most were between sizes 10 and

the years most were between sizes 10 and 18 the reality is that the average size

18 the reality is that the average size

18 the reality is that the average size worn by a woman in the United States is

worn by a woman in the United States is

worn by a woman in the United States is size 14 now Society standards of an

size 14 now Society standards of an

size 14 now Society standards of an ideal body doesn’t only apply to women

ideal body doesn’t only apply to women

ideal body doesn’t only apply to women but to men as well the male physique is

but to men as well the male physique is

but to men as well the male physique is often portrayed as chiseled and

often portrayed as chiseled and

often portrayed as chiseled and shirtless in various men’s magazines

shirtless in various men’s magazines

shirtless in various men’s magazines such as men’s health and others causing

such as men’s health and others causing

such as men’s health and others causing a feeling of embarrassment and non

a feeling of embarrassment and non

a feeling of embarrassment and non masculinity in men and driving so many

masculinity in men and driving so many

masculinity in men and driving so many to drug and alcohol abuse and steroid

to drug and alcohol abuse and steroid

to drug and alcohol abuse and steroid use women are not only expected to look

use women are not only expected to look

use women are not only expected to look thin but also to look young all the age

thin but also to look young all the age

thin but also to look young all the age and wrinkles are frowned upon so many

and wrinkles are frowned upon so many

and wrinkles are frowned upon so many teenagers and young women will do

teenagers and young women will do

teenagers and young women will do anything to alter their bodies either

anything to alter their bodies either

anything to alter their bodies either going through your your dieting or going

going through your your dieting or going

going through your your dieting or going under the knife and cosmetic surgery

under the knife and cosmetic surgery

under the knife and cosmetic surgery today girls as young as 13 are getting

today girls as young as 13 are getting

today girls as young as 13 are getting Botox to freeze their youthful

Botox to freeze their youthful

Botox to freeze their youthful appearance it doesn’t matter what they

appearance it doesn’t matter what they

appearance it doesn’t matter what they do or how beautiful and accomplished

do or how beautiful and accomplished

do or how beautiful and accomplished they are more still feel they are not

they are more still feel they are not

they are more still feel they are not good enough I should know because I was

good enough I should know because I was

good enough I should know because I was one of them even at the age of three

one of them even at the age of three

one of them even at the age of three was constantly compared to the females

was constantly compared to the females

was constantly compared to the females in my family they were very very fair

in my family they were very very fair

in my family they were very very fair and I was very dark complexioned I still

and I was very dark complexioned I still

and I was very dark complexioned I still remember this parrot green colored frog

remember this parrot green colored frog

remember this parrot green colored frog that both I and my cousin owned and

that both I and my cousin owned and

that both I and my cousin owned and unlike her I wasn’t allowed to wear mine

unlike her I wasn’t allowed to wear mine

unlike her I wasn’t allowed to wear mine all I could do was look at it longingly

all I could do was look at it longingly

all I could do was look at it longingly as his date hanging in my closet so many

as his date hanging in my closet so many

as his date hanging in my closet so many restrictions were placed on me because

restrictions were placed on me because

restrictions were placed on me because of how I looked that shame and the

of how I looked that shame and the

of how I looked that shame and the feeling of not measuring up to others

feeling of not measuring up to others

feeling of not measuring up to others perception of beauty stayed with me for

perception of beauty stayed with me for

perception of beauty stayed with me for decades it turned me into an introvert

decades it turned me into an introvert

decades it turned me into an introvert and I became comfortable hiding in my

and I became comfortable hiding in my

and I became comfortable hiding in my own little world pouring my energy into

own little world pouring my energy into

own little world pouring my energy into my studies I became an overachiever

my studies I became an overachiever

my studies I became an overachiever hoping that by showing my

hoping that by showing my

hoping that by showing my accomplishments I would be loved even at

accomplishments I would be loved even at

accomplishments I would be loved even at the height of my success deep inside I

the height of my success deep inside I

the height of my success deep inside I never felt deserving or worthy it didn’t

never felt deserving or worthy it didn’t

never felt deserving or worthy it didn’t matter how many shiny objects I had the

matter how many shiny objects I had the

matter how many shiny objects I had the latest fashion or the greatest

latest fashion or the greatest

latest fashion or the greatest achievements and awards

achievements and awards

achievements and awards I felt incomplete I looked for

I felt incomplete I looked for

I felt incomplete I looked for validation outside me at my work in my

validation outside me at my work in my

validation outside me at my work in my relationships in acquisitions it was

relationships in acquisitions it was

relationships in acquisitions it was exhausting and then the car accident

exhausting and then the car accident

exhausting and then the car accident happened this was March 2015

happened this was March 2015

happened this was March 2015 I was a passenger in the car that tried

I was a passenger in the car that tried

I was a passenger in the car that tried to run a red light at an intersection

to run a red light at an intersection

to run a red light at an intersection the car was totaled the driver came away

the car was totaled the driver came away

the car was totaled the driver came away unscathed the airbag deployed and hit me

unscathed the airbag deployed and hit me

unscathed the airbag deployed and hit me and my chest caved in I couldn’t breathe

and my chest caved in I couldn’t breathe

and my chest caved in I couldn’t breathe and for almost eight months I couldn’t

and for almost eight months I couldn’t

and for almost eight months I couldn’t even lie down to sleep that was a

even lie down to sleep that was a

even lie down to sleep that was a wake-up call so many things could have

wake-up call so many things could have

wake-up call so many things could have gone wrong but for the grace of God

gone wrong but for the grace of God

gone wrong but for the grace of God every waking moment was spent sending

every waking moment was spent sending

every waking moment was spent sending love to my body I would scan my body

love to my body I would scan my body

love to my body I would scan my body from head to toe and thanking every cell

from head to toe and thanking every cell

from head to toe and thanking every cell every limb every organ for being there

every limb every organ for being there

every limb every organ for being there for me my body became my best friend

for me my body became my best friend

for me my body became my best friend it took an accident for me to realize my

it took an accident for me to realize my

it took an accident for me to realize my body is a mirror

body is a mirror

body is a mirror I look at my past now and say that’s my

I look at my past now and say that’s my

I look at my past now and say that’s my past my past is only as powerful as how

past my past is only as powerful as how

past my past is only as powerful as how I perceive it and the meaning I give it

I perceive it and the meaning I give it

I perceive it and the meaning I give it we live in a society that would have us

we live in a society that would have us

we live in a society that would have us conform we look at other people’s lives

conform we look at other people’s lives

conform we look at other people’s lives and their body and the image and we

and their body and the image and we

and their body and the image and we compare ourselves with them you know

compare ourselves with them you know

compare ourselves with them you know they show us the polished version and

they show us the polished version and

they show us the polished version and it’s talks this desire to have the right

it’s talks this desire to have the right

it’s talks this desire to have the right body the right image the right fashion

body the right image the right fashion

body the right image the right fashion and one day we wake up and we realize

and one day we wake up and we realize

and one day we wake up and we realize what an empty existence that is you

what an empty existence that is you

what an empty existence that is you can’t win that game you just cannot win

can’t win that game you just cannot win

can’t win that game you just cannot win it it doesn’t matter how hard you pedal

it it doesn’t matter how hard you pedal

it it doesn’t matter how hard you pedal there’s always going to be somebody with

there’s always going to be somebody with

there’s always going to be somebody with a better body a bigger house a hotter

a better body a bigger house a hotter

a better body a bigger house a hotter partner it’s quite Hollow stop the

partner it’s quite Hollow stop the

partner it’s quite Hollow stop the comparison game and look at yourself and

comparison game and look at yourself and

comparison game and look at yourself and your body and fall in love with the

your body and fall in love with the

your body and fall in love with the beautiful and the less beautiful your

beautiful and the less beautiful your

beautiful and the less beautiful your body is a miracle now I would like to

body is a miracle now I would like to

body is a miracle now I would like to ask you again it’s your body image

ask you again it’s your body image

ask you again it’s your body image holding you back are you stuck in a

holding you back are you stuck in a

holding you back are you stuck in a limiting belief that you are not good

limiting belief that you are not good

limiting belief that you are not good enough if so I would like to offer you a

enough if so I would like to offer you a

enough if so I would like to offer you a framework that if you were to follow

framework that if you were to follow

framework that if you were to follow would help change your limiting beliefs

would help change your limiting beliefs

would help change your limiting beliefs there are three steps the first step is

there are three steps the first step is

there are three steps the first step is to identify your limiting beliefs in my

to identify your limiting beliefs in my

to identify your limiting beliefs in my opinion this is the hardest step of all

opinion this is the hardest step of all

opinion this is the hardest step of all because you have to go back in time

because you have to go back in time

because you have to go back in time somewhere someone some event trigger

somewhere someone some event trigger

somewhere someone some event trigger that in you and you must deep dive into

that in you and you must deep dive into

that in you and you must deep dive into your subconscious and bring it to the

your subconscious and bring it to the

your subconscious and bring it to the surface the second step is to weaken the

surface the second step is to weaken the

surface the second step is to weaken the existing limiting beliefs because if you

existing limiting beliefs because if you

existing limiting beliefs because if you don’t do this any new belief that you

don’t do this any new belief that you

don’t do this any new belief that you put on top will not stick

put on top will not stick

put on top will not stick compare that to a mouldy wall you want

compare that to a mouldy wall you want

compare that to a mouldy wall you want to put new wallpaper but unless you

to put new wallpaper but unless you

to put new wallpaper but unless you clean off the mold first the mold will

clean off the mold first the mold will

clean off the mold first the mold will continue to grow underneath the new

continue to grow underneath the new

continue to grow underneath the new wallpaper so as you go through the

wallpaper so as you go through the

wallpaper so as you go through the second step

second step

second step ask yourself this belief that you have

ask yourself this belief that you have

ask yourself this belief that you have is this really true then there is a

is this really true then there is a

is this really true then there is a third step sorry this is where you

third step sorry this is where you

third step sorry this is where you replace your old beliefs with new ones

replace your old beliefs with new ones

replace your old beliefs with new ones that won’t limit you you can do this

that won’t limit you you can do this

that won’t limit you you can do this through affirmations visualizations and

through affirmations visualizations and

through affirmations visualizations and even vision boards but you must go

even vision boards but you must go

even vision boards but you must go through the first two steps in order to

through the first two steps in order to

through the first two steps in order to succeed here

succeed here

succeed here the third step has helped me the most

the third step has helped me the most

the third step has helped me the most and I would like to share with you a

and I would like to share with you a

and I would like to share with you a method I use to strengthen my new belief

method I use to strengthen my new belief

method I use to strengthen my new belief every single day I wake up in the

every single day I wake up in the

every single day I wake up in the morning and I meditate I light incense

morning and I meditate I light incense

morning and I meditate I light incense and a walk through my home blessing each

and a walk through my home blessing each

and a walk through my home blessing each room in the hallway is a large mirror

room in the hallway is a large mirror

room in the hallway is a large mirror where I stop for a long moment I look at

where I stop for a long moment I look at

where I stop for a long moment I look at my reflection in the mirror I look

my reflection in the mirror I look

my reflection in the mirror I look deeply into my eyes and I say to myself

deeply into my eyes and I say to myself

deeply into my eyes and I say to myself Ronny you are beautiful you are

Ronny you are beautiful you are

Ronny you are beautiful you are brilliant I love you I love you very

brilliant I love you I love you very

brilliant I love you I love you very very very much

love appreciate and accept your body

love appreciate and accept your body your body is your best friend your body

your body is your best friend your body

your body is your best friend your body is a miracle the strength of a woman is

is a miracle the strength of a woman is

is a miracle the strength of a woman is unparalleled and society’s definition of

unparalleled and society’s definition of

unparalleled and society’s definition of beauty often overshadows it I believe

beauty often overshadows it I believe

beauty often overshadows it I believe that not only are we strong but our

that not only are we strong but our

that not only are we strong but our differences are exactly what make us

differences are exactly what make us

differences are exactly what make us beautiful

beautiful

beautiful after all a rainbow would be pretty

after all a rainbow would be pretty

after all a rainbow would be pretty boring if it was just one color and one

boring if it was just one color and one

boring if it was just one color and one size thank you

”

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