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In Your Eyes | Nicole Edwards | TEDxMHK


Joseph Campbell once said the privilege

Joseph Campbell once said the privilege of a lifetime is being who you are and

of a lifetime is being who you are and

of a lifetime is being who you are and truly what an honor it is to be you to

truly what an honor it is to be you to

truly what an honor it is to be you to have this life to experience the miracle

have this life to experience the miracle

have this life to experience the miracle of it all through your eyes every

of it all through your eyes every

of it all through your eyes every struggle every triumph every tear every

struggle every triumph every tear every

struggle every triumph every tear every belly laugh everything you have

belly laugh everything you have

belly laugh everything you have encountered has led you to the seat

encountered has led you to the seat

encountered has led you to the seat you’re sitting in right now the late

you’re sitting in right now the late

you’re sitting in right now the late mythologist lecturer believed that

mythologist lecturer believed that

mythologist lecturer believed that within us our living stories many yet to

within us our living stories many yet to

within us our living stories many yet to be told

be told

be told I have always been fascinated with

I have always been fascinated with

I have always been fascinated with perception the idea that two people can

perception the idea that two people can

perception the idea that two people can look at the same thing and see

look at the same thing and see

look at the same thing and see completely different things has sent me

completely different things has sent me

completely different things has sent me on a lifelong journey to unearth some

on a lifelong journey to unearth some

on a lifelong journey to unearth some possibilities I often think about how

possibilities I often think about how

possibilities I often think about how this happens in our everyday lives

this happens in our everyday lives

this happens in our everyday lives how is it that people can come away with

how is it that people can come away with

how is it that people can come away with such a distinct difference in

such a distinct difference in

such a distinct difference in interpretation

interpretation

interpretation we see this in unrequited love in

we see this in unrequited love in

we see this in unrequited love in memories shared among siblings and even

memories shared among siblings and even

memories shared among siblings and even and things as simple as color the dress

and things as simple as color the dress

and things as simple as color the dress the infamous dress that is it blue and

the infamous dress that is it blue and

the infamous dress that is it blue and black or gold and white dress full-on

black or gold and white dress full-on

black or gold and white dress full-on debates crash the internet and people

debates crash the internet and people

debates crash the internet and people all over the world chimed in to

all over the world chimed in to

all over the world chimed in to passionately defend their perception

passionately defend their perception

passionately defend their perception each side thought the other was

each side thought the other was

each side thought the other was absolutely nuts

absolutely nuts

absolutely nuts when it was revealed later that the

when it was revealed later that the

when it was revealed later that the dress was indeed blue and black and it

dress was indeed blue and black and it

dress was indeed blue and black and it was the lighting mixed with the inter

was the lighting mixed with the inter

was the lighting mixed with the inter workings of the human eye and brain the

workings of the human eye and brain the

workings of the human eye and brain the camps were still divided people were

camps were still divided people were

camps were still divided people were still unrelenting and tied to their

still unrelenting and tied to their

still unrelenting and tied to their perceptions as a facilitator and a

perceptions as a facilitator and a

perceptions as a facilitator and a professor I have had the honor of

professor I have had the honor of

professor I have had the honor of working with thousands of people who

working with thousands of people who

working with thousands of people who work with young people and they do it

work with young people and they do it

work with young people and they do it because they genuinely love what they do

because they genuinely love what they do

because they genuinely love what they do it’s difficult and complex work and my

it’s difficult and complex work and my

it’s difficult and complex work and my role has been to help them to embrace

role has been to help them to embrace

role has been to help them to embrace their particular style and way of

their particular style and way of

their particular style and way of being and also to build connections with

being and also to build connections with

being and also to build connections with others one way I do this is by asking

others one way I do this is by asking

others one way I do this is by asking them a single question what is your

them a single question what is your

them a single question what is your legacy and legacy I don’t mean in the

legacy and legacy I don’t mean in the

legacy and legacy I don’t mean in the traditional sense it’s not in something

traditional sense it’s not in something

traditional sense it’s not in something that they will physically leave behind

that they will physically leave behind

that they will physically leave behind it’s an idea of sorts it’s in what they

it’s an idea of sorts it’s in what they

it’s an idea of sorts it’s in what they see what do they see as most important

see what do they see as most important

see what do they see as most important for young people to have a successful

for young people to have a successful

for young people to have a successful life it’s a proverb of sorts an idea

life it’s a proverb of sorts an idea

life it’s a proverb of sorts an idea passed down as a treasure and the

passed down as a treasure and the

passed down as a treasure and the answers are all different they’re

answers are all different they’re

answers are all different they’re colored by experiences the answer

colored by experiences the answer

colored by experiences the answer depends on whose eyes to give you an

depends on whose eyes to give you an

depends on whose eyes to give you an idea of the responses they generally

idea of the responses they generally

idea of the responses they generally fall into certain categories for some

fall into certain categories for some

fall into certain categories for some they believe knowledge is most important

they believe knowledge is most important

they believe knowledge is most important in life for others it’s the ability to

in life for others it’s the ability to

in life for others it’s the ability to have humor and to embrace life’s

have humor and to embrace life’s

have humor and to embrace life’s absurdities for others it’s the courage

absurdities for others it’s the courage

absurdities for others it’s the courage to persevere despite constant struggle

to persevere despite constant struggle

to persevere despite constant struggle and for others it’s the ability and to

and for others it’s the ability and to

and for others it’s the ability and to have compassion that compassion is

have compassion that compassion is

have compassion that compassion is actually life’s greatest tool now all of

actually life’s greatest tool now all of

actually life’s greatest tool now all of these are important as they create a

these are important as they create a

these are important as they create a bigger picture it’s just a slight

bigger picture it’s just a slight

bigger picture it’s just a slight difference in vantage point through

difference in vantage point through

difference in vantage point through dialogue and as we explored the hopes

dialogue and as we explored the hopes

dialogue and as we explored the hopes and fears behind each perspective the

and fears behind each perspective the

and fears behind each perspective the motivations became clearer and they

motivations became clearer and they

motivations became clearer and they realize not only did they have more in

realize not only did they have more in

realize not only did they have more in common than they thought but by being

common than they thought but by being

common than they thought but by being open and inclusive it made the work that

open and inclusive it made the work that

open and inclusive it made the work that much richer so how do you take on

much richer so how do you take on

much richer so how do you take on another’s point of view without being

another’s point of view without being

another’s point of view without being mindful we often get this wrong we have

mindful we often get this wrong we have

mindful we often get this wrong we have assumptions of others motivations and

assumptions of others motivations and

assumptions of others motivations and behaviors and we fill in the blanks just

behaviors and we fill in the blanks just

behaviors and we fill in the blanks just like the dress which can lead us into

like the dress which can lead us into

like the dress which can lead us into false judgements research shows that

false judgements research shows that

false judgements research shows that were not great at this all the time we

were not great at this all the time we

were not great at this all the time we construct our own perceptions based on a

construct our own perceptions based on a

construct our own perceptions based on a variety of factors including our past

variety of factors including our past

variety of factors including our past experiences

empathy is typically referred to as the

empathy is typically referred to as the ability to walk in another shoes we hear

ability to walk in another shoes we hear

ability to walk in another shoes we hear it all the time I disagree I think it’s

it all the time I disagree I think it’s

it all the time I disagree I think it’s the ability to see what others do behind

the ability to see what others do behind

the ability to see what others do behind their eyes it’s in your eyes think of

their eyes it’s in your eyes think of

their eyes it’s in your eyes think of your everyday experiences driving is

your everyday experiences driving is

your everyday experiences driving is always a popular one right you’re in a

always a popular one right you’re in a

always a popular one right you’re in a rush to work for the third time this

rush to work for the third time this

rush to work for the third time this week and out of nowhere someone comes

week and out of nowhere someone comes

week and out of nowhere someone comes and cuts you off and you miss the light

and cuts you off and you miss the light

and cuts you off and you miss the light you have a rush of anger and you mumble

you have a rush of anger and you mumble

you have a rush of anger and you mumble obscenities under your breath you try

obscenities under your breath you try

obscenities under your breath you try and get yourself together as you

and get yourself together as you

and get yourself together as you continue on your way you notice that the

continue on your way you notice that the

continue on your way you notice that the same car that cut you off way back here

same car that cut you off way back here

same car that cut you off way back here is now on the side of the road they have

is now on the side of the road they have

is now on the side of the road they have a flat tire now your perception of the

a flat tire now your perception of the

a flat tire now your perception of the driver may have shifted to one of

driver may have shifted to one of

driver may have shifted to one of concern or maybe even a little sympathy

concern or maybe even a little sympathy

concern or maybe even a little sympathy or maybe you just thought it with karma

what if you knew more about the

what if you knew more about the motivations or intentions of the driver

motivations or intentions of the driver

motivations or intentions of the driver what if somehow later you found out that

what if somehow later you found out that

what if somehow later you found out that they were actually rushing to biess with

they were actually rushing to biess with

they were actually rushing to biess with someone who was going to take their last

someone who was going to take their last

someone who was going to take their last breath or they were dealing with an

breath or they were dealing with an

breath or they were dealing with an unruly toddler with special needs in the

unruly toddler with special needs in the

unruly toddler with special needs in the backseat we sometimes have an empathy

backseat we sometimes have an empathy

backseat we sometimes have an empathy bullied we unknowingly seek out and

bullied we unknowingly seek out and

bullied we unknowingly seek out and support our own agendas even in the best

support our own agendas even in the best

support our own agendas even in the best of intentions it’s human we secretly

of intentions it’s human we secretly

of intentions it’s human we secretly superimpose our own ideas of how the

superimpose our own ideas of how the

superimpose our own ideas of how the world works and we are rubbed the wrong

world works and we are rubbed the wrong

world works and we are rubbed the wrong way when someone doesn’t do what we

way when someone doesn’t do what we

way when someone doesn’t do what we would do and how we would do it and this

would do and how we would do it and this

would do and how we would do it and this happens everywhere it happens in the

happens everywhere it happens in the

happens everywhere it happens in the office it happens in our relationships

office it happens in our relationships

office it happens in our relationships it happens in our families think of that

it happens in our families think of that

it happens in our families think of that well-meaning family member that every

well-meaning family member that every

well-meaning family member that every time you see them they remind you that

time you see them they remind you that

time you see them they remind you that that project you’re working so hard on

that project you’re working so hard on

that project you’re working so hard on is never going to make you any money and

is never going to make you any money and

is never going to make you any money and what are you going to get married are

what are you going to get married are

what are you going to get married are you tired of being alone it’s not that

you tired of being alone it’s not that

you tired of being alone it’s not that the advice is ill intended necessarily

the advice is ill intended necessarily

the advice is ill intended necessarily it’s just that it’s their perception of

it’s just that it’s their perception of

it’s just that it’s their perception of what happiness looks like what if we had

what happiness looks like what if we had

what happiness looks like what if we had action intelligence the ability and the

action intelligence the ability and the

action intelligence the ability and the willingness to acknowledge when our

willingness to acknowledge when our

willingness to acknowledge when our perceptions may need shifting to make

perceptions may need shifting to make

perceptions may need shifting to make that shift the work of Carl Jung and

that shift the work of Carl Jung and

that shift the work of Carl Jung and later Carol Pearson identified patterns

later Carol Pearson identified patterns

later Carol Pearson identified patterns of behavior that show up in the movies

of behavior that show up in the movies

of behavior that show up in the movies that we watch and the novels that we

that we watch and the novels that we

that we watch and the novels that we read but also in our everyday lives and

read but also in our everyday lives and

read but also in our everyday lives and the supporting characters we encounter

the supporting characters we encounter

the supporting characters we encounter every day these are called archetypes

every day these are called archetypes

every day these are called archetypes archetypes are distinct set of

archetypes are distinct set of

archetypes are distinct set of motivations and hopes and fears and

motivations and hopes and fears and

motivations and hopes and fears and they’re characterized in a way that it

they’re characterized in a way that it

they’re characterized in a way that it gives us some insight into what it means

gives us some insight into what it means

gives us some insight into what it means to be human

to be human

to be human archetypes gives us a platform to

archetypes gives us a platform to

archetypes gives us a platform to explore what others might be seeing even

explore what others might be seeing even

explore what others might be seeing even if it sounds foreign to us

if it sounds foreign to us

if it sounds foreign to us for example the sage archetype is

for example the sage archetype is

for example the sage archetype is motivated by seeking knowledge and the

motivated by seeking knowledge and the

motivated by seeking knowledge and the truth the jester archetype is motivated

truth the jester archetype is motivated

truth the jester archetype is motivated by bringing levity into the now and

by bringing levity into the now and

by bringing levity into the now and brings joy in our lives the warrior

brings joy in our lives the warrior

brings joy in our lives the warrior archetype is motivated by perseverance

archetype is motivated by perseverance

archetype is motivated by perseverance and conquering goals and the lover

and conquering goals and the lover

and conquering goals and the lover archetype is motivated by bringing

archetype is motivated by bringing

archetype is motivated by bringing passion and beauty into our lives it

passion and beauty into our lives it

passion and beauty into our lives it sounds familiar

sounds familiar

sounds familiar being human means that we have the

being human means that we have the

being human means that we have the potential for all of them within us that

potential for all of them within us that

potential for all of them within us that even though we take different journeys

even though we take different journeys

even though we take different journeys to get there and can look it can look

to get there and can look it can look

to get there and can look it can look very multifaceted that’s okay a shift in

very multifaceted that’s okay a shift in

very multifaceted that’s okay a shift in perception then becomes an opportunity

perception then becomes an opportunity

perception then becomes an opportunity for growth a moment to reflect the gift

for growth a moment to reflect the gift

for growth a moment to reflect the gift of a genuine connection or an invitation

of a genuine connection or an invitation

of a genuine connection or an invitation to play what I’ve learned from my

to play what I’ve learned from my

to play what I’ve learned from my students is that we have to embrace our

students is that we have to embrace our

students is that we have to embrace our own perceptions and share them with

own perceptions and share them with

own perceptions and share them with others so that we can embrace theirs by

others so that we can embrace theirs by

others so that we can embrace theirs by telling our stories what’s behind our

telling our stories what’s behind our

telling our stories what’s behind our eyes we build bridges of empathy and by

eyes we build bridges of empathy and by

eyes we build bridges of empathy and by you celebrating who you are and

you celebrating who you are and

you celebrating who you are and genuinely connecting to the people that

genuinely connecting to the people that

genuinely connecting to the people that are around you and the strangers you

are around you and the strangers you

are around you and the strangers you will have yet to meet you are also

will have yet to meet you are also

will have yet to meet you are also building those bridges so I’ll ask you

building those bridges so I’ll ask you

building those bridges so I’ll ask you what is your legacy

what is your legacy

what is your legacy it’s not in the wealth that you’ll

it’s not in the wealth that you’ll

it’s not in the wealth that you’ll require it’s not in anything physical

require it’s not in anything physical

require it’s not in anything physical that you’ll leave behind it’s in your

that you’ll leave behind it’s in your

that you’ll leave behind it’s in your eyes thank you

eyes thank you

eyes thank you [Applause]

”

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