In Search of Balance | Sandra Elisabeth Roelofs | TEDxTbilisi

people ask me very often how come in

people ask me very often how come in this craziness how can you stay so calm

craziness I mean all the family our

craziness I mean all the family our family members scattered around the

family members scattered around the

family members scattered around the world and crazy political life here and

world and crazy political life here and

world and crazy political life here and my answer well in fact it’s not easy it

my answer well in fact it’s not easy it

my answer well in fact it’s not easy it has not been easy and it was a learning

has not been easy and it was a learning

has not been easy and it was a learning process to keep the calmness somehow it

process to keep the calmness somehow it

process to keep the calmness somehow it was a process of of months and months

was a process of of months and months

was a process of of months and months and finally the secret of my calmness is

and finally the secret of my calmness is

and finally the secret of my calmness is in the rabbits on my fridge this is my

in the rabbits on my fridge this is my

in the rabbits on my fridge this is my fridge and these are little rabbits from

fridge and these are little rabbits from

fridge and these are little rabbits from a Dutch children’s book this rabbit is

a Dutch children’s book this rabbit is

a Dutch children’s book this rabbit is called nan Chu in Dutch in English is

called nan Chu in Dutch in English is

called nan Chu in Dutch in English is translated as Miffy so for me Miffy is

translated as Miffy so for me Miffy is

translated as Miffy so for me Miffy is represents balance for me Miffy a

represents balance for me Miffy a

represents balance for me Miffy a balance is is a Dutch value and probably

balance is is a Dutch value and probably

balance is is a Dutch value and probably all the activities that may feed us I

all the activities that may feed us I

all the activities that may feed us I also want to do them during the day so

also want to do them during the day so

also want to do them during the day so I’m trying to do all the activities you

I’m trying to do all the activities you

I’m trying to do all the activities you see culture caring for others family

see culture caring for others family

see culture caring for others family reading personal care and so on I try to

reading personal care and so on I try to

reading personal care and so on I try to do other things and in the end to have

do other things and in the end to have

do other things and in the end to have all my miffy’s on the right so what do

all my miffy’s on the right so what do

all my miffy’s on the right so what do you see here this is a spectrum of all

you see here this is a spectrum of all

you see here this is a spectrum of all colors ranging from back black to white

colors ranging from back black to white

colors ranging from back black to white do you see how many colors how many

do you see how many colors how many

do you see how many colors how many shades of gray there are between black

shades of gray there are between black

shades of gray there are between black and white

and white

and white the balance is somewhere in the middle

the balance is somewhere in the middle

the balance is somewhere in the middle the balance is

the balance is

the balance is how you look at it of course yes and

how you look at it of course yes and

how you look at it of course yes and look at the Dutch sky

look at the Dutch sky

look at the Dutch sky it’s full of shades of grey and this is

it’s full of shades of grey and this is

it’s full of shades of grey and this is also a theory that whatever you look at

also a theory that whatever you look at

also a theory that whatever you look at in your own environment your landscape

in your own environment your landscape

in your own environment your landscape it influences your own attitude it

it influences your own attitude it

it influences your own attitude it influences your mentality so maybe it’s

influences your mentality so maybe it’s

influences your mentality so maybe it’s because of all these colors of grey in

because of all these colors of grey in

because of all these colors of grey in the Dutch sky that we try to find a

the Dutch sky that we try to find a

the Dutch sky that we try to find a balance

balance

balance we don’t think black and white we try to

we don’t think black and white we try to

we don’t think black and white we try to find a compromise we try to see the

find a compromise we try to see the

find a compromise we try to see the nuances and to find the middle way the

nuances and to find the middle way the

nuances and to find the middle way the golden middle way and not to judge too

golden middle way and not to judge too

golden middle way and not to judge too easily

easily

easily so this looking for compromises this

so this looking for compromises this

so this looking for compromises this looking for all the shades of grey

looking for all the shades of grey

looking for all the shades of grey between black and white this is called

between black and white this is called

between black and white this is called the polder model it’s called like that

the polder model it’s called like that

the polder model it’s called like that in politics for example this is Georgia

in politics for example this is Georgia

in politics for example this is Georgia full of extremes it’s either very hot or

full of extremes it’s either very hot or

full of extremes it’s either very hot or it’s very cold you have either high

it’s very cold you have either high

it’s very cold you have either high peaks or you have deep green valleys has

peaks or you have deep green valleys has

peaks or you have deep green valleys has this anything to do with the way we look

this anything to do with the way we look

this anything to do with the way we look at things the black and white spectrum

at things the black and white spectrum

at things the black and white spectrum that I was talking about and maybe there

that I was talking about and maybe there

that I was talking about and maybe there is a way without destroying the Caucasus

is a way without destroying the Caucasus

is a way without destroying the Caucasus to find more balance in our daily lives

to find more balance in our daily lives

to find more balance in our daily lives and with this little presentation thanks

and with this little presentation thanks

and with this little presentation thanks to TEDx to policy I want to give it a

to TEDx to policy I want to give it a

to TEDx to policy I want to give it a try and tell you about different kinds

try and tell you about different kinds

try and tell you about different kinds of balanced physical social generational

of balanced physical social generational

of balanced physical social generational nature is based on balanced nature is

nature is based on balanced nature is

nature is based on balanced nature is balanced nature takes care if of course

balanced nature takes care if of course

balanced nature takes care if of course humankind

humankind

humankind doesn’t interfere so also the human body

doesn’t interfere so also the human body

doesn’t interfere so also the human body is of course a part of nature and there

is of course a part of nature and there

is of course a part of nature and there is a balance in our bodies called the

is a balance in our bodies called the

is a balance in our bodies called the acid-base balance of the ph value and if

acid-base balance of the ph value and if

acid-base balance of the ph value and if we don’t take good care of our bodies

we don’t take good care of our bodies

we don’t take good care of our bodies our body will protest so let’s talk

our body will protest so let’s talk

our body will protest so let’s talk about food

about food

about food the food intake is very important to

the food intake is very important to

the food intake is very important to keep a balance in our bodies we need

keep a balance in our bodies we need

keep a balance in our bodies we need from every group something every day at

from every group something every day at

from every group something every day at every meal if we can cereals meat and

every meal if we can cereals meat and

every meal if we can cereals meat and dairy and the biggest group is fruits

dairy and the biggest group is fruits

dairy and the biggest group is fruits and vegetables we should eat much more

and vegetables we should eat much more

and vegetables we should eat much more of those and so when I was a public

of those and so when I was a public

of those and so when I was a public figure and I thought how can I survive

figure and I thought how can I survive

figure and I thought how can I survive in all this working lunches dinners

in all this working lunches dinners

in all this working lunches dinners receptions I cannot eat all the time and

receptions I cannot eat all the time and

receptions I cannot eat all the time and still you know be nice to people and

still you know be nice to people and

still you know be nice to people and then all the time refuse you can’t do

then all the time refuse you can’t do

then all the time refuse you can’t do that

that

that so I had to make choices to survive and

so I had to make choices to survive and

so I had to make choices to survive and one of my tactics was when you’re

one of my tactics was when you’re

one of my tactics was when you’re sitting at a state dinner for example to

sitting at a state dinner for example to

sitting at a state dinner for example to call the waiter and to make him somehow

call the waiter and to make him somehow

call the waiter and to make him somehow your friend and to ask okay can you

your friend and to ask okay can you

your friend and to ask okay can you please skip the soup for me and can you

please skip the soup for me and can you

please skip the soup for me and can you not put any sauce on my dressing and

not put any sauce on my dressing and

not put any sauce on my dressing and maybe you will give me extra water

maybe you will give me extra water

maybe you will give me extra water things like that so I always try to

things like that so I always try to

things like that so I always try to manipulate somehow not to eat much this

manipulate somehow not to eat much this

manipulate somehow not to eat much this is a way so as a believer in balance you

is a way so as a believer in balance you

is a way so as a believer in balance you have to really try to think through the

have to really try to think through the

have to really try to think through the meals the moments of meal in your day so

meals the moments of meal in your day so

meals the moments of meal in your day so when you go out in the morning where

when you go out in the morning where

when you go out in the morning where will will I have lunch where will I have

will will I have lunch where will I have

will will I have lunch where will I have dinner am I going to travel then I

dinner am I going to travel then I

dinner am I going to travel then I should take something let that something

should take something let that something

should take something let that something be a banana or a carrot or a tomato

be a banana or a carrot or a tomato

be a banana or a carrot or a tomato something like that so try to be

something like that so try to be

something like that so try to be pre-emptive

pre-emptive

pre-emptive try to be proactive well another thing

try to be proactive well another thing

try to be proactive well another thing of being healthy and live long is to

of being healthy and live long is to

of being healthy and live long is to find the right balance between active

find the right balance between active

find the right balance between active and passive mode in your life so this

and passive mode in your life so this

and passive mode in your life so this mice experiments means with mice have

mice experiments means with mice have

mice experiments means with mice have shown that those who are too bored and

shown that those who are too bored and

shown that those who are too bored and all the time in the dark and those who

all the time in the dark and those who

all the time in the dark and those who have too much stress they die earlier

have too much stress they die earlier

have too much stress they die earlier than those mice that have a certain

than those mice that have a certain

than those mice that have a certain amount of stress and a certain amount of

amount of stress and a certain amount of

amount of stress and a certain amount of relaxation so it’s scientifically proven

relaxation so it’s scientifically proven

relaxation so it’s scientifically proven let’s say that we need a balance we

let’s say that we need a balance we

let’s say that we need a balance we cannot all the time walk on our toes not

cannot all the time walk on our toes not

cannot all the time walk on our toes not all the time be stressed in medical

all the time be stressed in medical

all the time be stressed in medical science we call this these two modes

science we call this these two modes

science we call this these two modes fight and flight and digest and rest and

fight and flight and digest and rest and

fight and flight and digest and rest and of course when you rest and you digest

of course when you rest and you digest

of course when you rest and you digest it’s not only that I speak about

it’s not only that I speak about

it’s not only that I speak about digestion of food it’s also digestion of

digestion of food it’s also digestion of

digestion of food it’s also digestion of emotions negative emotions positive

emotions negative emotions positive

emotions negative emotions positive emotions you really need time to reflect

emotions you really need time to reflect

emotions you really need time to reflect on them sorry that this one looks like

on them sorry that this one looks like

on them sorry that this one looks like grizzly little bit I didn’t want to so

grizzly little bit I didn’t want to so

grizzly little bit I didn’t want to so yeah of course you have to find a

yeah of course you have to find a

yeah of course you have to find a balance between your day and your night

balance between your day and your night

balance between your day and your night don’t forget the golden rule that all

don’t forget the golden rule that all

don’t forget the golden rule that all the hours and minutes before midnight

the hours and minutes before midnight

the hours and minutes before midnight you can count them double that’s an

you can count them double that’s an

you can count them double that’s an important rule those that period is more

important rule those that period is more

important rule those that period is more important for your body then later at

important for your body then later at

important for your body then later at night apparently and my secret is I try

night apparently and my secret is I try

night apparently and my secret is I try to catch a plane I say at 11 p.m. my

to catch a plane I say at 11 p.m. my

to catch a plane I say at 11 p.m. my plane is going if I’m not in bed by 11

plane is going if I’m not in bed by 11

plane is going if I’m not in bed by 11 I have a problem the next day I know

I have a problem the next day I know

I have a problem the next day I know that I’ll be tired the day will not be

that I’ll be tired the day will not be

that I’ll be tired the day will not be the way I want so try try to make it a

the way I want so try try to make it a

the way I want so try try to make it a plane to catch a train to catch before

plane to catch a train to catch before

plane to catch a train to catch before you are in bed and then you can really

you are in bed and then you can really

you are in bed and then you can really be in fight and flight mode until you

be in fight and flight mode until you

be in fight and flight mode until you have done your things and you can go to

have done your things and you can go to

have done your things and you can go to sleep so now the balance between content

sleep so now the balance between content

sleep so now the balance between content and form for some between quality and

and form for some between quality and

and form for some between quality and quantity this was the hardest balance

quantity this was the hardest balance

quantity this was the hardest balance for me to discover when I was first lady

for me to discover when I was first lady

for me to discover when I was first lady because you’re expected to do something

because you’re expected to do something

because you’re expected to do something the content but you have to think about

the content but you have to think about

the content but you have to think about how you will do it the form so this is

how you will do it the form so this is

how you will do it the form so this is just a dinner a charity dinner for

just a dinner a charity dinner for

just a dinner a charity dinner for breast cancer and I’m sitting in the

breast cancer and I’m sitting in the

breast cancer and I’m sitting in the middle near the flowers and I have all

middle near the flowers and I have all

middle near the flowers and I have all these guests

these guests

these guests it was a gala dinner and I had to divide

it was a gala dinner and I had to divide

it was a gala dinner and I had to divide my attention among all the guests of

my attention among all the guests of

my attention among all the guests of course but that was difficult so what I

course but that was difficult so what I

course but that was difficult so what I did I talked to one person at every

did I talked to one person at every

did I talked to one person at every table and I said after the next course

table and I said after the next course

table and I said after the next course after the soup

after the soup

after the soup I will come sit in your place after the

I will come sit in your place after the

I will come sit in your place after the salad I’ll come sit in your place and

salad I’ll come sit in your place and

salad I’ll come sit in your place and before the dessert and for the coffee so

before the dessert and for the coffee so

before the dessert and for the coffee so I really made the round of all the

I really made the round of all the

I really made the round of all the tables talk to all the people and

tables talk to all the people and

tables talk to all the people and they’ve felt much more engaged much more

they’ve felt much more engaged much more

they’ve felt much more engaged much more respected balance is all about respect

respected balance is all about respect

respected balance is all about respect when you have interviews or you prepare

when you have interviews or you prepare

when you have interviews or you prepare for a presentation or for a meeting you

for a presentation or for a meeting you

for a presentation or for a meeting you know what you’re going to talk about you

know what you’re going to talk about you

know what you’re going to talk about you have your key messages so you have your

have your key messages so you have your

have your key messages so you have your negotiation whatever you know some

negotiation whatever you know some

negotiation whatever you know some things you want to obtain but you can

things you want to obtain but you can

things you want to obtain but you can also prepare very well for the forum for

also prepare very well for the forum for

also prepare very well for the forum for example if you have an interview you can

example if you have an interview you can

example if you have an interview you can ask before will I be sitting or standing

ask before will I be sitting or standing

ask before will I be sitting or standing is it a high table or low table will it

is it a high table or low table will it

is it a high table or low table will it be will there be a question-and-answer

be will there be a question-and-answer

be will there be a question-and-answer session yes or no will I have a glass of

session yes or no will I have a glass of

session yes or no will I have a glass of water by my side things like that it’s

water by my side things like that it’s

water by my side things like that it’s important what can I dress what are you

important what can I dress what are you

important what can I dress what are you dressing how does the what does the

dressing how does the what does the

dressing how does the what does the decor look like so it’s all important to

decor look like so it’s all important to

decor look like so it’s all important to prepare such important meetings

prepare such important meetings

prepare such important meetings beforehand because the forum is what

beforehand because the forum is what

beforehand because the forum is what people remember so when you have

people remember so when you have

people remember so when you have important meetings interviews

important meetings interviews

important meetings interviews presentations don’t focus only on the

presentations don’t focus only on the

presentations don’t focus only on the content but think also about the how the

content but think also about the how the

content but think also about the how the quality the surrounding the context

quality the surrounding the context

quality the surrounding the context because that’s what people usually

because that’s what people usually

because that’s what people usually remember oh this is a blurred picture oh

remember oh this is a blurred picture oh

remember oh this is a blurred picture oh it is big so the balance between content

it is big so the balance between content

it is big so the balance between content and form also when you walk on the

and form also when you walk on the

and form also when you walk on the street and you’re being recognized many

street and you’re being recognized many

street and you’re being recognized many people are famous in this room or will

people are famous in this room or will

people are famous in this room or will be famous one day and when you meet

be famous one day and when you meet

be famous one day and when you meet people for you it’s a regular walk on

people for you it’s a regular walk on

people for you it’s a regular walk on the street but for those people it’s

the street but for those people it’s

the street but for those people it’s that day that’s

that day that’s

that day that’s all day that they met you so if you are

all day that they met you so if you are

all day that they met you so if you are aware of that you’re much more open your

aware of that you’re much more open your

aware of that you’re much more open your you smile you don’t say no if they want

you smile you don’t say no if they want

you smile you don’t say no if they want to take a photograph but you have to be

to take a photograph but you have to be

to take a photograph but you have to be effective efficient because you don’t

effective efficient because you don’t

effective efficient because you don’t have much time

have much time

have much time so you had identify the photographer you

so you had identify the photographer you

so you had identify the photographer you say okay you’re going to make a picture

say okay you’re going to make a picture

say okay you’re going to make a picture okay let’s make a group picture smile

okay let’s make a group picture smile

okay let’s make a group picture smile thank you bye bye so try to be nice but

thank you bye bye so try to be nice but

thank you bye bye so try to be nice but efficient balance between past and

efficient balance between past and

efficient balance between past and future when you are in a hectic life as

future when you are in a hectic life as

future when you are in a hectic life as I was when I was first lady you think on

I was when I was first lady you think on

I was when I was first lady you think on only now is all that matters right so

only now is all that matters right so

only now is all that matters right so you kind of lose track of the big

you kind of lose track of the big

you kind of lose track of the big picture and that’s dangerous because you

picture and that’s dangerous because you

picture and that’s dangerous because you need to reflect on the past you need

need to reflect on the past you need

need to reflect on the past you need your experience to live the present you

your experience to live the present you

your experience to live the present you also need to look to the future to see

also need to look to the future to see

also need to look to the future to see what will I be doing in five years in

what will I be doing in five years in

what will I be doing in five years in ten years so you know like an experiment

ten years so you know like an experiment

ten years so you know like an experiment things like that so in a timeless plane

things like that so in a timeless plane

things like that so in a timeless plane because sometimes you travel and you

because sometimes you travel and you

because sometimes you travel and you arrive at the same time as when you are

arrive at the same time as when you are

arrive at the same time as when you are when you’re left this is the ideal way

when you’re left this is the ideal way

when you’re left this is the ideal way of finding a balance between the past

of finding a balance between the past

of finding a balance between the past and the future and the same is balance

and the future and the same is balance

and the future and the same is balance between the ego and the outer you need

between the ego and the outer you need

between the ego and the outer you need time for yourself you need to work on

time for yourself you need to work on

time for yourself you need to work on yourself it’s a work in progress of

yourself it’s a work in progress of

yourself it’s a work in progress of course you have to find time for your

course you have to find time for your

course you have to find time for your for the others maybe to give them advice

for the others maybe to give them advice

for the others maybe to give them advice or to help them and also they can help

or to help them and also they can help

or to help them and also they can help you to reflect on your own life so try

you to reflect on your own life so try

you to reflect on your own life so try also to find the balance between others

also to find the balance between others

also to find the balance between others and yourself now this is the the last

and yourself now this is the the last

and yourself now this is the the last balance I want to share with you of

balance I want to share with you of

balance I want to share with you of course you have a balance between family

course you have a balance between family

course you have a balance between family and friends like dividing your attention

and friends like dividing your attention

and friends like dividing your attention between them but also within the family

between them but also within the family

between them but also within the family when I thought I knew it all after

when I thought I knew it all after

when I thought I knew it all after almost 10 years of being first lady I

almost 10 years of being first lady I

almost 10 years of being first lady I thought

thought

thought I know what what’s about balance done

I know what what’s about balance done

I know what what’s about balance done suddenly my mother became ill with

suddenly my mother became ill with

suddenly my mother became ill with Alzheimer disease and I found myself

Alzheimer disease and I found myself

Alzheimer disease and I found myself reading books traveling to the

reading books traveling to the

reading books traveling to the Netherlands very often to help my father

Netherlands very often to help my father

Netherlands very often to help my father caring for her to spend quality time

caring for her to spend quality time

caring for her to spend quality time with her and I suddenly looked in the

with her and I suddenly looked in the

with her and I suddenly looked in the mirror somehow and I thought well I’ve

mirror somehow and I thought well I’ve

mirror somehow and I thought well I’ve been maybe too much involved with my

been maybe too much involved with my

been maybe too much involved with my kids have I neglected my parents so my

kids have I neglected my parents so my

kids have I neglected my parents so my would advise to all of you don’t let it

would advise to all of you don’t let it

would advise to all of you don’t let it come that far

come that far

come that far and give to the younger and to the elder

and give to the younger and to the elder

and give to the younger and to the elder generation your attention it’s so

generation your attention it’s so

generation your attention it’s so important because one day you will be in

important because one day you will be in

important because one day you will be in that third chair you will be the

that third chair you will be the

that third chair you will be the grandparent and you will want your kids

grandparent and you will want your kids

grandparent and you will want your kids to take care of you as you did that’s

to take care of you as you did that’s

to take care of you as you did that’s all I wanted to say be aware be

all I wanted to say be aware be

all I wanted to say be aware be conscious about the balances the harmony

conscious about the balances the harmony

conscious about the balances the harmony in your own life I’ve give you some

in your own life I’ve give you some

in your own life I’ve give you some hints some examples if you feel

hints some examples if you feel

hints some examples if you feel something’s not comfortable you don’t

something’s not comfortable you don’t

something’s not comfortable you don’t you feel something’s wrong you’re angry

you feel something’s wrong you’re angry

you feel something’s wrong you’re angry irritated depressed maybe all the time

irritated depressed maybe all the time

irritated depressed maybe all the time joyful that’s not good either

joyful that’s not good either

joyful that’s not good either stop think about the balances in your

stop think about the balances in your

stop think about the balances in your life and then refined that balance

life and then refined that balance

life and then refined that balance because that is really what will improve

because that is really what will improve

because that is really what will improve your lives and the lives of the others

your lives and the lives of the others

your lives and the lives of the others are around you thank you very much