[Music] [Applause]
Chad asked Kayla to be his wife he told
Chad asked Kayla to be his wife he told her that from that moment on he wanted
her that from that moment on he wanted
her that from that moment on he wanted his identity to be bound up with hers he
his identity to be bound up with hers he
his identity to be bound up with hers he wanted to start a family with her and he
wanted to start a family with her and he
wanted to start a family with her and he told her he would love her faithfully
told her he would love her faithfully
told her he would love her faithfully until his dying breath she agreed and so
until his dying breath she agreed and so
until his dying breath she agreed and so while she was smiling and blushing he
while she was smiling and blushing he
while she was smiling and blushing he slipped the ring onto her finger and
slipped the ring onto her finger and
slipped the ring onto her finger and then well then they departed from each
then well then they departed from each
then well then they departed from each other and didn’t see each other for
other and didn’t see each other for
other and didn’t see each other for another year now this is part of a love
another year now this is part of a love
another year now this is part of a love story a story of connection that I
story a story of connection that I
story a story of connection that I discovered at Duke University when I was
discovered at Duke University when I was
discovered at Duke University when I was studying religion and politics so I took
studying religion and politics so I took
studying religion and politics so I took the two topics you’re not allowed to
the two topics you’re not allowed to
the two topics you’re not allowed to talk about at dinner and made them my
talk about at dinner and made them my
talk about at dinner and made them my whole career and I began to research
whole career and I began to research
whole career and I began to research that story in more depth right at the
that story in more depth right at the
that story in more depth right at the same time that I personally was looking
same time that I personally was looking
same time that I personally was looking for a different approach to sex and love
for a different approach to sex and love
for a different approach to sex and love than what Dukes hookup culture had to
than what Dukes hookup culture had to
than what Dukes hookup culture had to offer I was searching for a deeper sense
offer I was searching for a deeper sense
offer I was searching for a deeper sense of shared life and shared joy with
of shared life and shared joy with
of shared life and shared joy with another person and even in today’s sex
another person and even in today’s sex
another person and even in today’s sex app generation I’m not alone earlier in
app generation I’m not alone earlier in
app generation I’m not alone earlier in 2017 the largest ever international
2017 the largest ever international
2017 the largest ever international survey of sex and Technology showed that
survey of sex and Technology showed that
survey of sex and Technology showed that more people go online to use apps in
more people go online to use apps in
more people go online to use apps in search of meaningful steady
search of meaningful steady
search of meaningful steady relationships than they do looking for
relationships than they do looking for
relationships than they do looking for casual hookups many people today still
casual hookups many people today still
casual hookups many people today still want sex and romance to mean something
want sex and romance to mean something
want sex and romance to mean something and what gives meaning to individual
and what gives meaning to individual
and what gives meaning to individual acts and events are stories we interpret
acts and events are stories we interpret
acts and events are stories we interpret the world and we understand the meaning
the world and we understand the meaning
the world and we understand the meaning of things by fitting them in a larger
of things by fitting them in a larger
of things by fitting them in a larger underline narrative and so I decided
underline narrative and so I decided
underline narrative and so I decided that if I was going to be able to think
that if I was going to be able to think
that if I was going to be able to think differently about sex and love I needed
differently about sex and love I needed
differently about sex and love I needed to find
to find
to find a different underlying story a different
a different underlying story a different
a different underlying story a different kind of love story and I found it in a
kind of love story and I found it in a
kind of love story and I found it in a very unlikely place in research I was
very unlikely place in research I was
very unlikely place in research I was doing into ancient Jewish culture and in
doing into ancient Jewish culture and in
doing into ancient Jewish culture and in particular the process of moving through
particular the process of moving through
particular the process of moving through betrothal to marriage in that culture
betrothal to marriage in that culture
betrothal to marriage in that culture and I would like to share that story
and I would like to share that story
and I would like to share that story with you today I refer to the typical
with you today I refer to the typical
with you today I refer to the typical young Jewish male and female as Chad and
young Jewish male and female as Chad and
young Jewish male and female as Chad and Kayla because the Hebrew term for groom
Kayla because the Hebrew term for groom
Kayla because the Hebrew term for groom is Jetton and the Hebrew term for bride
is Jetton and the Hebrew term for bride
is Jetton and the Hebrew term for bride is Kalaa
is Kalaa
is Kalaa now in this story perhaps even before
now in this story perhaps even before
now in this story perhaps even before Chad and Kayla met Chad and his father
Chad and Kayla met Chad and his father
Chad and Kayla met Chad and his father would write down the terms of a marriage
would write down the terms of a marriage
would write down the terms of a marriage covenant on a document called a ketubah
covenant on a document called a ketubah
covenant on a document called a ketubah and then they would travel to Kayla’s
and then they would travel to Kayla’s
and then they would travel to Kayla’s house and discuss this document with her
house and discuss this document with her
house and discuss this document with her and her father Chad would then offer
and her father Chad would then offer
and her father Chad would then offer Kayla a cup of wine saying this cup
Kayla a cup of wine saying this cup
Kayla a cup of wine saying this cup represents a covenant in blood and that
represents a covenant in blood and that
represents a covenant in blood and that was the typical way of sealing betrothal
was the typical way of sealing betrothal
was the typical way of sealing betrothal in that culture the wine represented the
in that culture the wine represented the
in that culture the wine represented the blood of a slain animal as if to say to
blood of a slain animal as if to say to
blood of a slain animal as if to say to the other partner if I violate the terms
the other partner if I violate the terms
the other partner if I violate the terms of this covenant may what happened to
of this covenant may what happened to
of this covenant may what happened to this animal happened to me and then he
this animal happened to me and then he
this animal happened to me and then he said today I have become your husband
said today I have become your husband
said today I have become your husband and you have become my wife and then
and you have become my wife and then
and you have become my wife and then they headed off to Niagara Falls for a
they headed off to Niagara Falls for a
they headed off to Niagara Falls for a honeymoon and lived happily ever after
honeymoon and lived happily ever after
honeymoon and lived happily ever after now actually that’s the point at which
now actually that’s the point at which
now actually that’s the point at which they departed one another and did not
they departed one another and did not
they departed one another and did not see each other for another year what was
see each other for another year what was
see each other for another year what was going on well in the Jewish culture it
going on well in the Jewish culture it
going on well in the Jewish culture it was tradition that Chad would go back to
was tradition that Chad would go back to
was tradition that Chad would go back to his father’s homestead and he would
his father’s homestead and he would
his father’s homestead and he would begin to build an additional room called
begin to build an additional room called
begin to build an additional room called a Hoopa on to the house and this would
a Hoopa on to the house and this would
a Hoopa on to the house and this would become the residence of the new couple
become the residence of the new couple
become the residence of the new couple now when the room was done Chad and his
now when the room was done Chad and his
now when the room was done Chad and his family and friends would set off to
family and friends would set off to
family and friends would set off to claim Kayla as his bride and then both
claim Kayla as his bride and then both
claim Kayla as his bride and then both parties would process back
parties would process back
parties would process back Chad’s father’s homestead now on that
Chad’s father’s homestead now on that
Chad’s father’s homestead now on that day Chad would be wearing a seamless
day Chad would be wearing a seamless
day Chad would be wearing a seamless tunic scented with frankincense and
tunic scented with frankincense and
tunic scented with frankincense and myrrh and if they could afford it both
myrrh and if they could afford it both
myrrh and if they could afford it both chatting Kayla would wear golden crowns
chatting Kayla would wear golden crowns
chatting Kayla would wear golden crowns on their heads they were king and queen
on their heads they were king and queen
on their heads they were king and queen for a day and Kayla would also wear a
for a day and Kayla would also wear a
for a day and Kayla would also wear a veil over her face now when they got
veil over her face now when they got
veil over her face now when they got back to the homestead several things
back to the homestead several things
back to the homestead several things would happen first they would once again
would happen first they would once again
would happen first they would once again read from that covenant document again
read from that covenant document again
read from that covenant document again they would once again sip wine from the
they would once again sip wine from the
they would once again sip wine from the same cup that they used that their
same cup that they used that their
same cup that they used that their betrothal and then they would enter into
betrothal and then they would enter into
betrothal and then they would enter into the private Hoopa chad would lift the
the private Hoopa chad would lift the
the private Hoopa chad would lift the veil from Kayla’s face and they would
veil from Kayla’s face and they would
veil from Kayla’s face and they would consummate the marriage
consummate the marriage
consummate the marriage sexually now as Jewish tradition held
sexually now as Jewish tradition held
sexually now as Jewish tradition held the newlyweds would remain in the Hupa
the newlyweds would remain in the Hupa
the newlyweds would remain in the Hupa for seven consecutive days so yes guys I
for seven consecutive days so yes guys I
for seven consecutive days so yes guys I too felt inadequate when I first heard
too felt inadequate when I first heard
too felt inadequate when I first heard that but this only after those seven
that but this only after those seven
that but this only after those seven days would they emerge and celebrate
days would they emerge and celebrate
days would they emerge and celebrate this grand wedding feast
this grand wedding feast
this grand wedding feast now I’m not Jewish but along with my
now I’m not Jewish but along with my
now I’m not Jewish but along with my college girlfriend Karen who later
college girlfriend Karen who later
college girlfriend Karen who later became my wife I became intrigued with
became my wife I became intrigued with
became my wife I became intrigued with that story we certainly did not want to
that story we certainly did not want to
that story we certainly did not want to adopt the process and its entirety there
adopt the process and its entirety there
adopt the process and its entirety there are lots of elements of that story that
are lots of elements of that story that
are lots of elements of that story that are problematic to modern Western
are problematic to modern Western
are problematic to modern Western sensibilities but there were some
sensibilities but there were some
sensibilities but there were some insights that I learned from that story
insights that I learned from that story
insights that I learned from that story that fundamentally shaped the way that I
that fundamentally shaped the way that I
that fundamentally shaped the way that I approach sex love and marriage first in
approach sex love and marriage first in
approach sex love and marriage first in this story love was less of a feeling in
this story love was less of a feeling in
this story love was less of a feeling in the gut than a commitment of the will in
the gut than a commitment of the will in
the gut than a commitment of the will in fact this story invites us to see love
fact this story invites us to see love
fact this story invites us to see love as an action not just an attraction
as an action not just an attraction
as an action not just an attraction today we’re very used to thinking about
today we’re very used to thinking about
today we’re very used to thinking about love is a sort of sweaty palms butterfly
love is a sort of sweaty palms butterfly
love is a sort of sweaty palms butterfly in the stomach sort of feeling but Chad
in the stomach sort of feeling but Chad
in the stomach sort of feeling but Chad and Kayla may not have even seen each
and Kayla may not have even seen each
and Kayla may not have even seen each other before there
other before there
other before there so they may not have experienced those
so they may not have experienced those
so they may not have experienced those sorts of romantic feelings or physical
sorts of romantic feelings or physical
sorts of romantic feelings or physical attractions upfront so rather than first
attractions upfront so rather than first
attractions upfront so rather than first comes love then comes marriage love
comes love then comes marriage love
comes love then comes marriage love seemed to be something that was learned
seemed to be something that was learned
seemed to be something that was learned as a result of enduring the ups and
as a result of enduring the ups and
as a result of enduring the ups and downs of married life in other words
downs of married life in other words
downs of married life in other words love was more the verb an action that
love was more the verb an action that
love was more the verb an action that they would do rather than a noun a
they would do rather than a noun a
they would do rather than a noun a feeling that they would experience now
feeling that they would experience now
feeling that they would experience now that’s true
that’s true
that’s true then we need to examine carefully how we
then we need to examine carefully how we
then we need to examine carefully how we speak about it
speak about it
speak about it Karen and I began an experiment to try
Karen and I began an experiment to try
Karen and I began an experiment to try to only use the word love as a verb
to only use the word love as a verb
to only use the word love as a verb rather than a noun and so we gave up
rather than a noun and so we gave up
rather than a noun and so we gave up using phrases like fall in love and love
using phrases like fall in love and love
using phrases like fall in love and love at first sight and just think about what
at first sight and just think about what
at first sight and just think about what those sorts of phrases assume about the
those sorts of phrases assume about the
those sorts of phrases assume about the kind of thing the kind of noun that love
kind of thing the kind of noun that love
kind of thing the kind of noun that love is now when I first saw Karen our eyes
is now when I first saw Karen our eyes
is now when I first saw Karen our eyes met across a crowded room I certainly
met across a crowded room I certainly
met across a crowded room I certainly felt that now that feeling of
felt that now that feeling of
felt that now that feeling of infatuation but I had not yet done
infatuation but I had not yet done
infatuation but I had not yet done anything for her
anything for her
anything for her I’d not yet acted in any way for her
I’d not yet acted in any way for her
I’d not yet acted in any way for her good and so we say that at that moment
good and so we say that at that moment
good and so we say that at that moment it was infatuation at first sight rather
it was infatuation at first sight rather
it was infatuation at first sight rather than love now as as fate would happen
than love now as as fate would happen
than love now as as fate would happen have it later a country-western song by
have it later a country-western song by
have it later a country-western song by Collin Raye became our song and the
Collin Raye became our song and the
Collin Raye became our song and the title of course was if I were you I’d
title of course was if I were you I’d
title of course was if I were you I’d fall in love with me sure enough in fact
fall in love with me sure enough in fact
fall in love with me sure enough in fact earlier this year I wrote a book on
earlier this year I wrote a book on
earlier this year I wrote a book on these insights and entitled it in love
these insights and entitled it in love
these insights and entitled it in love so obviously we were not too legalistic
so obviously we were not too legalistic
so obviously we were not too legalistic about this if committing to love someone
about this if committing to love someone
about this if committing to love someone means committing to act for their good
means committing to act for their good
means committing to act for their good then it’s gonna be a very
then it’s gonna be a very
then it’s gonna be a very positive thing to write down exactly
positive thing to write down exactly
positive thing to write down exactly what those concrete acts of love are
what those concrete acts of love are
what those concrete acts of love are Karen and I did this shortly before she
Karen and I did this shortly before she
Karen and I did this shortly before she flew to Vienna Austria for a study
flew to Vienna Austria for a study
flew to Vienna Austria for a study abroad semester her junior year now
abroad semester her junior year now
abroad semester her junior year now human beings simply cannot commit to
human beings simply cannot commit to
human beings simply cannot commit to maintain certain levels of emotion we
maintain certain levels of emotion we
maintain certain levels of emotion we can commit to practice certain acts so
can commit to practice certain acts so
can commit to practice certain acts so anticipating that our emotions would
anticipating that our emotions would
anticipating that our emotions would likely plateau or perhaps even decrease
likely plateau or perhaps even decrease
likely plateau or perhaps even decrease we wrote down seven specific acts that
we wrote down seven specific acts that
we wrote down seven specific acts that we would devote ourselves to during our
we would devote ourselves to during our
we would devote ourselves to during our time apart we lovingly refer to it as
time apart we lovingly refer to it as
time apart we lovingly refer to it as our relationship Constitution and we
our relationship Constitution and we
our relationship Constitution and we signed it and dated it and wrote it in
signed it and dated it and wrote it in
signed it and dated it and wrote it in very formal language and sure enough
very formal language and sure enough
very formal language and sure enough when the going got tough it was very
when the going got tough it was very
when the going got tough it was very helpful to pull out that sheet of paper
helpful to pull out that sheet of paper
helpful to pull out that sheet of paper and to know that the other person
and to know that the other person
and to know that the other person halfway around the world was committing
halfway around the world was committing
halfway around the world was committing to seven concrete acts of love for the
to seven concrete acts of love for the
to seven concrete acts of love for the other I still carry that piece of paper
other I still carry that piece of paper
other I still carry that piece of paper in my wallet to this day now when Karen
in my wallet to this day now when Karen
in my wallet to this day now when Karen got back from Austria we began to think
got back from Austria we began to think
got back from Austria we began to think very seriously about engagement or as
very seriously about engagement or as
very seriously about engagement or as it’s known in the ancient Jewish story
it’s known in the ancient Jewish story
it’s known in the ancient Jewish story betrothal what struck us is that Chad
betrothal what struck us is that Chad
betrothal what struck us is that Chad and Kayla would have written down in
and Kayla would have written down in
and Kayla would have written down in detail their understanding their
detail their understanding their
detail their understanding their expectations of marriage before they
expectations of marriage before they
expectations of marriage before they even got betrothed and we thought that
even got betrothed and we thought that
even got betrothed and we thought that made a lot of sense
made a lot of sense
made a lot of sense so rather than undergoing premarital
so rather than undergoing premarital
so rather than undergoing premarital counseling we enrolled in pre-engagement
counseling we enrolled in pre-engagement
counseling we enrolled in pre-engagement counseling just even for those who do go
counseling just even for those who do go
counseling just even for those who do go through premarital counseling it often
through premarital counseling it often
through premarital counseling it often takes place about four or five weeks
takes place about four or five weeks
takes place about four or five weeks before the wedding that means they’ve
before the wedding that means they’ve
before the wedding that means they’ve already booked the venue they’ve already
already booked the venue they’ve already
already booked the venue they’ve already sent out invitations to every important
sent out invitations to every important
sent out invitations to every important person in their life
person in their life
person in their life he’s already purchased two rings she’s
he’s already purchased two rings she’s
he’s already purchased two rings she’s already fallen in infatuation with it
already fallen in infatuation with it
already fallen in infatuation with it she and her mother
she and her mother
she and her mother I’ve already seen her in the dress
I’ve already seen her in the dress
I’ve already seen her in the dress all of that is a lot of pressure to have
all of that is a lot of pressure to have
all of that is a lot of pressure to have those premarital counseling sessions
those premarital counseling sessions
those premarital counseling sessions turn out a success even if an unexpected
turn out a success even if an unexpected
turn out a success even if an unexpected problematic issue might arise and so
problematic issue might arise and so
problematic issue might arise and so many couples proceed and they get
many couples proceed and they get
many couples proceed and they get married anyway just trusting that love
married anyway just trusting that love
married anyway just trusting that love will get them through well several years
will get them through well several years
will get them through well several years ago a licensed social worker surveyed a
ago a licensed social worker surveyed a
ago a licensed social worker surveyed a thousand divorced women about their
thousand divorced women about their
thousand divorced women about their previous marriages and found that 30
previous marriages and found that 30
previous marriages and found that 30 percent of them admitted to having
percent of them admitted to having
percent of them admitted to having serious doubts about the marriage
serious doubts about the marriage
serious doubts about the marriage long before the wedding you wonder how
long before the wedding you wonder how
long before the wedding you wonder how many of those relationships could have
many of those relationships could have
many of those relationships could have benefited from a more intentional
benefited from a more intentional
benefited from a more intentional approach to counseling and
approach to counseling and
approach to counseling and accountability up front
accountability up front
accountability up front perhaps even before engagement well when
perhaps even before engagement well when
perhaps even before engagement well when it was the right time for Karen and I to
it was the right time for Karen and I to
it was the right time for Karen and I to get engaged we did so at the top of the
get engaged we did so at the top of the
get engaged we did so at the top of the Duke University chapel tower late one
Duke University chapel tower late one
Duke University chapel tower late one rainy April night and I borrowed from
rainy April night and I borrowed from
rainy April night and I borrowed from the Jewish betrothal story by pouring a
the Jewish betrothal story by pouring a
the Jewish betrothal story by pouring a cup of wine and offering it to Karen I
cup of wine and offering it to Karen I
cup of wine and offering it to Karen I did that to frame the relationship we
did that to frame the relationship we
did that to frame the relationship we were entering a covenant rather than a
were entering a covenant rather than a
were entering a covenant rather than a contract and the contract to parties
contract and the contract to parties
contract and the contract to parties will come together to exchange goods and
will come together to exchange goods and
will come together to exchange goods and services and after that exchange they’re
services and after that exchange they’re
services and after that exchange they’re free to go their separate ways in a
free to go their separate ways in a
free to go their separate ways in a covenant two parties come together to
covenant two parties come together to
covenant two parties come together to exchange identities permanently they
exchange identities permanently they
exchange identities permanently they agree from that moment on to be known in
agree from that moment on to be known in
agree from that moment on to be known in the relationship to the other today I am
the relationship to the other today I am
the relationship to the other today I am your husband and you are my wife now
your husband and you are my wife now
your husband and you are my wife now also like the Jewish betrothal story we
also like the Jewish betrothal story we
also like the Jewish betrothal story we incorporated that same practice in our
incorporated that same practice in our
incorporated that same practice in our wedding like Chad and Kayla would have
wedding like Chad and Kayla would have
wedding like Chad and Kayla would have done we once again sit from the same cup
done we once again sit from the same cup
done we once again sit from the same cup that we used during our engagement and I
that we used during our engagement and I
that we used during our engagement and I think the final lesson that I learned
think the final lesson that I learned
think the final lesson that I learned from this story had to do with another
from this story had to do with another
from this story had to do with another act that took place at the wedding
act that took place at the wedding
act that took place at the wedding itself
itself
itself and that was the act of sex you talked
and that was the act of sex you talked
and that was the act of sex you talked about wanting sex to mean something
about wanting sex to mean something
about wanting sex to mean something deeper in that story it accomplished
deeper in that story it accomplished
deeper in that story it accomplished something with legal implications in the
something with legal implications in the
something with legal implications in the Jewish betrothal story the purpose of
Jewish betrothal story the purpose of
Jewish betrothal story the purpose of sex was to consummate and renew a
sex was to consummate and renew a
sex was to consummate and renew a marriage covenant so sex is covenant
marriage covenant so sex is covenant
marriage covenant so sex is covenant ratification and renewal I’d never
ratification and renewal I’d never
ratification and renewal I’d never thought about it that way I think we all
thought about it that way I think we all
thought about it that way I think we all know couples who you know maybe 20 years
know couples who you know maybe 20 years
know couples who you know maybe 20 years after their wedding they decide to renew
after their wedding they decide to renew
after their wedding they decide to renew their vows right and so they hold a
their vows right and so they hold a
their vows right and so they hold a ritual where they recommit themselves to
ritual where they recommit themselves to
ritual where they recommit themselves to each other into their marriage what if
each other into their marriage what if
each other into their marriage what if we lived by a story in which sex had
we lived by a story in which sex had
we lived by a story in which sex had that sort of meaning such that every
that sort of meaning such that every
that sort of meaning such that every time spouses practiced it they were in
time spouses practiced it they were in
time spouses practiced it they were in effect renewing their vows that is
effect renewing their vows that is
effect renewing their vows that is recommitting themselves through their
recommitting themselves through their
recommitting themselves through their bodies to the other and to their
bodies to the other and to their
bodies to the other and to their marriage I think that’s the most
marriage I think that’s the most
marriage I think that’s the most important lesson I took from the stories
important lesson I took from the stories
important lesson I took from the stories just how this ancient Jewish worldview
just how this ancient Jewish worldview
just how this ancient Jewish worldview and imagination understood certain acts
and imagination understood certain acts
and imagination understood certain acts as having the power to seal treaties and
as having the power to seal treaties and
as having the power to seal treaties and renew covenants when the Jewish people
renew covenants when the Jewish people
renew covenants when the Jewish people perceived themselves to be the covenant
perceived themselves to be the covenant
perceived themselves to be the covenant partner of the creator of the universe
partner of the creator of the universe
partner of the creator of the universe right back in the time of Moses they
right back in the time of Moses they
right back in the time of Moses they practiced a very concrete act of
practiced a very concrete act of
practiced a very concrete act of covenant renewal it was called the
covenant renewal it was called the
covenant renewal it was called the Passover meal and every year that they
Passover meal and every year that they
Passover meal and every year that they celebrated it they understood themselves
celebrated it they understood themselves
celebrated it they understood themselves to be making that covenant new again and
to be making that covenant new again and
to be making that covenant new again and what began to emerge out of my research
what began to emerge out of my research
what began to emerge out of my research it was just how this Jewish betrothal
it was just how this Jewish betrothal
it was just how this Jewish betrothal story became moving into that very
story became moving into that very
story became moving into that very history about 1,500 years after Moses
history about 1,500 years after Moses
history about 1,500 years after Moses Jesus was celebrating an annual Passover
Jesus was celebrating an annual Passover
Jesus was celebrating an annual Passover meal
meal
meal he took a cup of wine and he handed it
he took a cup of wine and he handed it
he took a cup of wine and he handed it to those in the room and he said this
to those in the room and he said this
to those in the room and he said this cup is a covenant in blood now in that
cup is a covenant in blood now in that
cup is a covenant in blood now in that culture in that day and age how might
culture in that day and age how might
culture in that day and age how might those words have been interpreted might
those words have been interpreted might
those words have been interpreted might those in the room have heard in those
those in the room have heard in those
those in the room have heard in those words a betrothal well perhaps they
words a betrothal well perhaps they
words a betrothal well perhaps they remembered that at his birth wise men
remembered that at his birth wise men
remembered that at his birth wise men brought Jesus gifts that a groom would
brought Jesus gifts that a groom would
brought Jesus gifts that a groom would have worn gold frankincense and myrrh
have worn gold frankincense and myrrh
have worn gold frankincense and myrrh and then guess what Jesus said he said I
and then guess what Jesus said he said I
and then guess what Jesus said he said I will not sit from this cup again until I
will not sit from this cup again until I
will not sit from this cup again until I do so with you in my father’s Kingdom
do so with you in my father’s Kingdom
do so with you in my father’s Kingdom very interesting language and then do
very interesting language and then do
very interesting language and then do you know that he said and now I’m about
you know that he said and now I’m about
you know that he said and now I’m about to depart from you I’m going to prepare
to depart from you I’m going to prepare
to depart from you I’m going to prepare rooms for you and I will return one day
rooms for you and I will return one day
rooms for you and I will return one day to claim you as my bride at the great
to claim you as my bride at the great
to claim you as my bride at the great apocalypse the word apocalypse literally
apocalypse the word apocalypse literally
apocalypse the word apocalypse literally meaning the lifting of the veil the
meaning the lifting of the veil the
meaning the lifting of the veil the great unveiling which is described in
great unveiling which is described in
great unveiling which is described in some traditions as the great wedding
some traditions as the great wedding
some traditions as the great wedding feast of the Lamb
something very intentional is going on
something very intentional is going on there he’s not only telling the Jewish
there he’s not only telling the Jewish
there he’s not only telling the Jewish but terminal story he is enacting it to
but terminal story he is enacting it to
but terminal story he is enacting it to help his followers understand something
help his followers understand something
help his followers understand something about the meaning of covenant love
about the meaning of covenant love
about the meaning of covenant love that’s the power of a love story and my
that’s the power of a love story and my
that’s the power of a love story and my research has had a very profound
research has had a very profound
research has had a very profound influence on my own love story this
influence on my own love story this
influence on my own love story this helped me to imagine love as an act of
helped me to imagine love as an act of
helped me to imagine love as an act of self sharing marriage as an identity
self sharing marriage as an identity
self sharing marriage as an identity sharing covenant and sex as covenant
sharing covenant and sex as covenant
sharing covenant and sex as covenant renewal I think we need to ask what
renewal I think we need to ask what
renewal I think we need to ask what stories are providing the script for
stories are providing the script for
stories are providing the script for relationships today and might we not
relationships today and might we not
relationships today and might we not find in some very unexpected places
find in some very unexpected places
find in some very unexpected places stories that even now can help us make
stories that even now can help us make
stories that even now can help us make sense of our deep longing for intimate
sense of our deep longing for intimate
sense of our deep longing for intimate connection thank you very much
connection thank you very much
connection thank you very much [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
”
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