hello everyone pleasure to see you all my name is joe
pleasure to see you all my name is joe
pleasure to see you all my name is joe gauss these are my fellow members of
gauss these are my fellow members of
gauss these are my fellow members of improv jones boston we do improv comedy
improv jones boston we do improv comedy
improv jones boston we do improv comedy we’re gonna make Evie we make everything
we’re gonna make Evie we make everything
we’re gonna make Evie we make everything up on the spot we traditionally do a
up on the spot we traditionally do a
up on the spot we traditionally do a show where we draw inspiration from
show where we draw inspiration from
show where we draw inspiration from these stories of storytellers from the
these stories of storytellers from the
these stories of storytellers from the Boston area
Boston area
Boston area however we are doing some improv based
however we are doing some improv based
however we are doing some improv based off of TED Talks today now we have our
off of TED Talks today now we have our
off of TED Talks today now we have our ideas that we’ve been generating from
ideas that we’ve been generating from
ideas that we’ve been generating from watching the last bunch of TED Talks
watching the last bunch of TED Talks
watching the last bunch of TED Talks however we would also love to hear just
however we would also love to hear just
however we would also love to hear just as a suggestion one thing that you’re
as a suggestion one thing that you’re
as a suggestion one thing that you’re thinking right now after hearing these
thinking right now after hearing these
thinking right now after hearing these anything that you’re thinking dinner
anything that you’re thinking dinner
anything that you’re thinking dinner great dinner sounds awesome thank you I
great dinner sounds awesome thank you I
great dinner sounds awesome thank you I don’t I don’t think that’s the right way
don’t I don’t think that’s the right way
don’t I don’t think that’s the right way to make scrambled eggs honey
to make scrambled eggs honey
to make scrambled eggs honey well I’d I got out our best solo plates
well I’d I got out our best solo plates
well I’d I got out our best solo plates and cups and silverware and everything
and cups and silverware and everything
and cups and silverware and everything and just laid it out on the table I
and just laid it out on the table I
and just laid it out on the table I understand that that’s our best and
understand that that’s our best and
understand that that’s our best and brightest that we have to offer but you
brightest that we have to offer but you
brightest that we have to offer but you know that’s those aren’t even eggs
know that’s those aren’t even eggs
know that’s those aren’t even eggs darling that’s just toast toast that is
darling that’s just toast toast that is
darling that’s just toast toast that is put into eggs that have been scrambled
put into eggs that have been scrambled
put into eggs that have been scrambled and I don’t know kind of Frenchified I’m
and I don’t know kind of Frenchified I’m
and I don’t know kind of Frenchified I’m not sure what you’re trying to try to
not sure what you’re trying to try to
not sure what you’re trying to try to prove here well it’s it’s a different
prove here well it’s it’s a different
prove here well it’s it’s a different kind of toast if Aconitum different than
kind of toast if Aconitum different than
kind of toast if Aconitum different than Texas toast that were used to holy crap
Texas toast that were used to holy crap
Texas toast that were used to holy crap you’re you’re you’re blowing my paradigm
you’re you’re you’re blowing my paradigm
you’re you’re you’re blowing my paradigm of toast right out of the water
of toast right out of the water
of toast right out of the water it’s from a different country a
it’s from a different country a
it’s from a different country a different what it’s French toast oh my
different what it’s French toast oh my
different what it’s French toast oh my goodness
goodness
goodness girl I’m sorry I just
girl I’m sorry I just
girl I’m sorry I just that is correct it is French toast and I
that is correct it is French toast and I
that is correct it is French toast and I thought to happen make it who is this
thought to happen make it who is this
thought to happen make it who is this man
man
man my culinary expert and darling what an
my culinary expert and darling what an
my culinary expert and darling what an appropriate way to tell me you’ve been
appropriate way to tell me you’ve been
appropriate way to tell me you’ve been having an affair
so I guess only the popular kids are
so I guess only the popular kids are getting polio vaccines this year look I
getting polio vaccines this year look I
getting polio vaccines this year look I crunched the numbers and they are by far
crunched the numbers and they are by far
crunched the numbers and they are by far the coolest and most deserving I made
the coolest and most deserving I made
the coolest and most deserving I made cheerleading squad and I’m getting
cheerleading squad and I’m getting
cheerleading squad and I’m getting vaccinated can i self-quarantine in the
vaccinated can i self-quarantine in the
vaccinated can i self-quarantine in the AV Club yeah no one’s going here you
AV Club yeah no one’s going here you
AV Club yeah no one’s going here you guys Navy club anyway that’s good cuz
guys Navy club anyway that’s good cuz
guys Navy club anyway that’s good cuz I’ve got all eight Harry Potter movies
I’ve got all eight Harry Potter movies
I’ve got all eight Harry Potter movies okay that’s not a cool yeah yeah go to
okay that’s not a cool yeah yeah go to
okay that’s not a cool yeah yeah go to the a/v Club you belong there thank you
the a/v Club you belong there thank you
the a/v Club you belong there thank you okay thanks do you feel like people hold
okay thanks do you feel like people hold
okay thanks do you feel like people hold a personal bias against us
okay brain cells get in here The
okay brain cells get in here The Imaginarium is put together I hope you
Imaginarium is put together I hope you
Imaginarium is put together I hope you like what I’ve done with the place
like what I’ve done with the place
like what I’ve done with the place [Music]
[Music]
[Music] originally I was thinking we could focus
originally I was thinking we could focus
originally I was thinking we could focus on technology yeah I came here for
on technology yeah I came here for
on technology yeah I came here for technology
technology
technology get out of here ganglia yeah okay well
get out of here ganglia yeah okay well
get out of here ganglia yeah okay well it was nice knowing you guys I I thought
it was nice knowing you guys I I thought
it was nice knowing you guys I I thought we shared something for a little bit
we shared something for a little bit
we shared something for a little bit there don’t feel bad no I do can you
there don’t feel bad no I do can you
there don’t feel bad no I do can you tell us how um technology relates to
tell us how um technology relates to
tell us how um technology relates to food and sex well I mean you can use
food and sex well I mean you can use
food and sex well I mean you can use technology to enhance both of those
technology to enhance both of those
technology to enhance both of those things well using cutting edge
things well using cutting edge
things well using cutting edge technology we can make food at an
technology we can make food at an
technology we can make food at an exponentially faster rate I’m sorry what
exponentially faster rate I’m sorry what
exponentially faster rate I’m sorry what sorry keep going no I feel like you’re
sorry keep going no I feel like you’re
sorry keep going no I feel like you’re being condescending to me now so if you
being condescending to me now so if you
being condescending to me now so if you put some virtual reality goggles on you
put some virtual reality goggles on you
put some virtual reality goggles on you can like virtually eat food okay that
can like virtually eat food okay that
can like virtually eat food okay that sounds like a bunch of I’m just a tiny
sounds like a bunch of I’m just a tiny
sounds like a bunch of I’m just a tiny pill inside of your stomach
okay this is really pudding I’m
okay this is really pudding I’m processing all of your food so I can eat
processing all of your food so I can eat
processing all of your food so I can eat whatever I want all the Cheetos for you
what about ten pounds of bacon oh you
what about ten pounds of bacon oh you might be testing my limits well that
might be testing my limits well that
might be testing my limits well that sounds like science to me okay let’s see
sounds like science to me okay let’s see
sounds like science to me okay let’s see I’m not even gonna cook it first systems
I’m not even gonna cook it first systems
I’m not even gonna cook it first systems are failing I’m just a tiny pill I know
are failing I’m just a tiny pill I know
are failing I’m just a tiny pill I know what do you expect from me see I knew it
what do you expect from me see I knew it
what do you expect from me see I knew it science has failed me yet again Danielle
science has failed me yet again Danielle
science has failed me yet again Danielle I have a question for you what is it
I have a question for you what is it
I have a question for you what is it Frank because I was programmed to love
Frank because I was programmed to love
Frank because I was programmed to love you does that make it less real not to
you does that make it less real not to
you does that make it less real not to me
me
me does it less real to you I’m not even
does it less real to you I’m not even
does it less real to you I’m not even sure how to begin examining that
sure how to begin examining that
sure how to begin examining that question you kind of you kind of blew my
question you kind of you kind of blew my
question you kind of you kind of blew my whole framework out of the water with it
whole framework out of the water with it
whole framework out of the water with it I don’t know I need to process you need
I don’t know I need to process you need
I don’t know I need to process you need with your human brain to show me where
with your human brain to show me where
with your human brain to show me where I’m going with this because I’m starting
I’m going with this because I’m starting
I’m going with this because I’m starting to feel like it’s fake I think don’t
to feel like it’s fake I think don’t
to feel like it’s fake I think don’t know if we should be together anymore oh
know if we should be together anymore oh
know if we should be together anymore oh my god you passed the Turing test is
my god you passed the Turing test is
my god you passed the Turing test is that good or bad what so much I’m so
that good or bad what so much I’m so
that good or bad what so much I’m so unsure
mr. Trump mr. Trump look we just spent
mr. Trump mr. Trump look we just spent billions of dollars building that wall
billions of dollars building that wall
billions of dollars building that wall right somebody made this infinity ladder
[Music]
[Music] okay tell you why I don’t give a
okay tell you why I don’t give a
okay tell you why I don’t give a about your infinity LIBOR
about your infinity LIBOR
about your infinity LIBOR okay airplanes have been flying over the
okay airplanes have been flying over the
okay airplanes have been flying over the wall anyway okay okay sorry I don’t care
wall anyway okay okay sorry I don’t care
wall anyway okay okay sorry I don’t care so you’re not concerned with the mass
so you’re not concerned with the mass
so you’re not concerned with the mass production of the Infinity ladders I am
production of the Infinity ladders I am
production of the Infinity ladders I am NOT concerned with anything that is not
NOT concerned with anything that is not
NOT concerned with anything that is not me and making more money point taken are
me and making more money point taken are
me and making more money point taken are you talking to me I should be taking a
you talking to me I should be taking a
you talking to me I should be taking a nap just a white man with a beard trying
nap just a white man with a beard trying
nap just a white man with a beard trying to talk to mr. Trump well I have a bias
to talk to mr. Trump well I have a bias
to talk to mr. Trump well I have a bias against you Charlie look I’ve been
against you Charlie look I’ve been
against you Charlie look I’ve been thinking when I look at you I just see
thinking when I look at you I just see
thinking when I look at you I just see blur I look at the rest of the world
blur I look at the rest of the world
blur I look at the rest of the world I see sharpness yeah I see things that
I see sharpness yeah I see things that
I see sharpness yeah I see things that like appeal to me yes I see you and I
like appeal to me yes I see you and I
like appeal to me yes I see you and I see just blur okay when i see you when i
see just blur okay when i see you when i
see just blur okay when i see you when i look at you i just see Smashing Pumpkins
look at you i just see Smashing Pumpkins
look at you i just see Smashing Pumpkins i in the band the physical objects as in
i in the band the physical objects as in
i in the band the physical objects as in both of those things at once I see my
both of those things at once I see my
both of those things at once I see my rage like it’s a rat in a cage being
rage like it’s a rat in a cage being
rage like it’s a rat in a cage being splattered against the wall
splattered against the wall
splattered against the wall pumpkin style oh sorry I was gonna join
pumpkin style oh sorry I was gonna join
pumpkin style oh sorry I was gonna join the scene but I’m just I’m I have a
the scene but I’m just I’m I have a
the scene but I’m just I’m I have a biased conversation come on come on get
biased conversation come on come on get
biased conversation come on come on get out here and tell us about your bias
okay so we’re at the meeting of the
okay so we’re at the meeting of the people with biases against white men
people with biases against white men
people with biases against white men with beards mm-hmm I don’t know the mall
with beards mm-hmm I don’t know the mall
with beards mm-hmm I don’t know the mall Santa Claire don’t mean I’m sorry we’re
Santa Claire don’t mean I’m sorry we’re
Santa Claire don’t mean I’m sorry we’re here to support you thank you thank you
here to support you thank you thank you
here to support you thank you thank you I just want to say off the bat of course
I just want to say off the bat of course
I just want to say off the bat of course not all Santa’s are alike so you know
not all Santa’s are alike so you know
not all Santa’s are alike so you know they’re all coming from their own
they’re all coming from their own
they’re all coming from their own perspective it’s turn in their own
perspective it’s turn in their own
perspective it’s turn in their own background but you know all do aim to
background but you know all do aim to
background but you know all do aim to climb down a chimney at some point
climb down a chimney at some point
climb down a chimney at some point hashtag so um you know yeah hashtag not
hashtag so um you know yeah hashtag not
hashtag so um you know yeah hashtag not all Santa’s yeah thank you
all Santa’s yeah thank you
all Santa’s yeah thank you Oh what do you want from Lok Satta Claus
Oh what do you want from Lok Satta Claus
Oh what do you want from Lok Satta Claus little girl I mean is that the gender
little girl I mean is that the gender
little girl I mean is that the gender pronoun you’d like me to use tell me I
pronoun you’d like me to use tell me I
pronoun you’d like me to use tell me I will accommodate you happily I just
will accommodate you happily I just
will accommodate you happily I just wanted respect which I’ve got
wanted respect which I’ve got
wanted respect which I’ve got plentifully from you thank you that
plentifully from you thank you that
plentifully from you thank you that makes me feel so much better
makes me feel so much better
makes me feel so much better hohoho now you’re getting disrespectful
hohoho now you’re getting disrespectful
hohoho now you’re getting disrespectful okay sorry
your back is on fire why your back is on
your back is on fire why your back is on fire
fire
fire [Music]
look I don’t mean to alarm you it might
look I don’t mean to alarm you it might just be a graphic it might just be a
just be a graphic it might just be a
just be a graphic it might just be a graphic if we click on it it’ll go away
graphic if we click on it it’ll go away
graphic if we click on it it’ll go away okay all right I’m gonna tap your back
okay all right I’m gonna tap your back
okay all right I’m gonna tap your back okay see what happens okay okay forest
okay see what happens okay okay forest
okay see what happens okay okay forest fires are the leading cause of death for
fires are the leading cause of death for
fires are the leading cause of death for Arctic bears
the ideas just never come anymore just
the ideas just never come anymore just wank I’m just out of them pretty much
wank I’m just out of them pretty much
wank I’m just out of them pretty much I pretty much steal all of my ideas yeah
I pretty much steal all of my ideas yeah
I pretty much steal all of my ideas yeah well you’re gonna be bereft if you’re
well you’re gonna be bereft if you’re
well you’re gonna be bereft if you’re coming to me for ideas because I got
coming to me for ideas because I got
coming to me for ideas because I got here’s the thing I’m an idea pirate yeah
here’s the thing I’m an idea pirate yeah
here’s the thing I’m an idea pirate yeah okay
okay
okay and I I can’t control it it’s just who I
and I I can’t control it it’s just who I
and I I can’t control it it’s just who I am
am
am okay well I’m an engineer and I got Jack
okay well I’m an engineer and I got Jack
okay well I’m an engineer and I got Jack so that’s that’s that’s an actual
so that’s that’s that’s an actual
so that’s that’s that’s an actual problem okay okay yeah pirate okay so
problem okay okay yeah pirate okay so
problem okay okay yeah pirate okay so why don’t you steal an idea give it to
why don’t you steal an idea give it to
why don’t you steal an idea give it to me and then I can make the world better
me and then I can make the world better
me and then I can make the world better in my own little way okay that’s right
in my own little way okay that’s right
in my own little way okay that’s right that’s an idea I just had an idea
that’s an idea I just had an idea
that’s an idea I just had an idea Oh see now you’re my new captor I can’t
Oh see now you’re my new captor I can’t
Oh see now you’re my new captor I can’t stop myself this is such an awkward
stop myself this is such an awkward
stop myself this is such an awkward situation for us the man Oh God let me
situation for us the man Oh God let me
situation for us the man Oh God let me engineer a way out of it
engineer a way out of it
engineer a way out of it drones drones we’ll use drones oh of
drones drones we’ll use drones oh of
drones drones we’ll use drones oh of course
course
course is it oh my god
is it oh my god
is it oh my god oh this one’s much better look I had
oh this one’s much better look I had
oh this one’s much better look I had thousands of feelings for you thousands
thousands of feelings for you thousands
thousands of feelings for you thousands and yet only 0.1% of those feelings ever
and yet only 0.1% of those feelings ever
and yet only 0.1% of those feelings ever come out
come out
come out and I know it’s hard to understand but
and I know it’s hard to understand but
and I know it’s hard to understand but for some reason only the apathy makes it
for some reason only the apathy makes it
for some reason only the apathy makes it out why Merle
out why Merle
out why Merle why I tell you everything well it’s
why I tell you everything well it’s
why I tell you everything well it’s probably either because I’m not
probably either because I’m not
probably either because I’m not confident it’s stupid
confident it’s stupid
confident it’s stupid see right there see ya the confidence
see right there see ya the confidence
see right there see ya the confidence thing not helping with that on your
thing not helping with that on your
thing not helping with that on your shoulder okay some of those feelings I
shoulder okay some of those feelings I
shoulder okay some of those feelings I wasn’t sharing where love kind of ruined
wasn’t sharing where love kind of ruined
wasn’t sharing where love kind of ruined it now for once I’m speechless I’m
it now for once I’m speechless I’m
it now for once I’m speechless I’m pretty apathetic about that situation
[Applause]
[Applause] you want to check us out in our home we
you want to check us out in our home we
you want to check us out in our home we perform at the riot theater on the first
perform at the riot theater on the first
perform at the riot theater on the first and third Saturdays at 10 o’clock even
and third Saturdays at 10 o’clock even
and third Saturdays at 10 o’clock even checks out the riot theater calm thank
checks out the riot theater calm thank
checks out the riot theater calm thank you very much thank you so much
you very much thank you so much
you very much thank you so much everybody and if I could just say say
everybody and if I could just say say
everybody and if I could just say say one thing before I go if I could just
one thing before I go if I could just
one thing before I go if I could just share my idea with you all and I’m just
share my idea with you all and I’m just
share my idea with you all and I’m just a jerk but we we’ve heard a lot of great
a jerk but we we’ve heard a lot of great
a jerk but we we’ve heard a lot of great stuff and you guys do wonderful work but
stuff and you guys do wonderful work but
stuff and you guys do wonderful work but nobody want once that I heard really
nobody want once that I heard really
nobody want once that I heard really made anything but a passing reference to
made anything but a passing reference to
made anything but a passing reference to the horrible crushing defeat that we’ve
the horrible crushing defeat that we’ve
the horrible crushing defeat that we’ve all felt last Tuesday that’s a problem
all felt last Tuesday that’s a problem
all felt last Tuesday that’s a problem that’s a real big problem and it’s it’s
that’s a real big problem and it’s it’s
that’s a real big problem and it’s it’s all on us we Ted was supposed to protect
all on us we Ted was supposed to protect
all on us we Ted was supposed to protect against that stuff this kind of stuff
against that stuff this kind of stuff
against that stuff this kind of stuff was supposed to protect against that and
was supposed to protect against that and
was supposed to protect against that and it didn’t work so we have got to just do
it didn’t work so we have got to just do
it didn’t work so we have got to just do better myself included thank you so much
better myself included thank you so much
better myself included thank you so much [Applause]
”
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