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If You Could See Me – A Mental Health Story | Erin Lessin Mahone | TEDxCrestmoorParkWomen


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you could see me you would know that I

you could see me you would know that I live with anxiety and depression

live with anxiety and depression

live with anxiety and depression mostly anxiety all the anxiety all the

mostly anxiety all the anxiety all the

mostly anxiety all the anxiety all the time I like to say that I live life in

time I like to say that I live life in

time I like to say that I live life in caps luck just like this all the time

caps luck just like this all the time

caps luck just like this all the time you can’t tell because they would lock

you can’t tell because they would lock

you can’t tell because they would lock me up if I walked around like that so

me up if I walked around like that so

me up if I walked around like that so this is what I look like

this is what I look like

this is what I look like you’ve never seen a person get so

you’ve never seen a person get so

you’ve never seen a person get so overwhelmed by the task of simply trying

overwhelmed by the task of simply trying

overwhelmed by the task of simply trying to organize a pile of papers because

to organize a pile of papers because

to organize a pile of papers because there are so many options of how this

there are so many options of how this

there are so many options of how this pile of papers could be filed away so

pile of papers could be filed away so

pile of papers could be filed away so the pile remains and I just go over here

the pile remains and I just go over here

the pile remains and I just go over here and ignore it

living with anxiety is like the world is

living with anxiety is like the world is constantly telling you that you’re not

constantly telling you that you’re not

constantly telling you that you’re not enough that you don’t know where to find

enough that you don’t know where to find

enough that you don’t know where to find your place that you shake no matter what

your place that you shake no matter what

your place that you shake no matter what you’re doing you’re shaking and I have

you’re doing you’re shaking and I have

you’re doing you’re shaking and I have had to learn how to find my way in the

had to learn how to find my way in the

had to learn how to find my way in the world in the midst of the reality that

world in the midst of the reality that

world in the midst of the reality that exists inside of my body I show up every

exists inside of my body I show up every

exists inside of my body I show up every day with all the tools that I have at my

day with all the tools that I have at my

day with all the tools that I have at my disposal and I give my all and sometimes

disposal and I give my all and sometimes

disposal and I give my all and sometimes it’s enough and other times it’s not

when I was a child I was afraid of

when I was a child I was afraid of everything

everything

everything I didn’t sleep between the ages of 7 and

I didn’t sleep between the ages of 7 and

I didn’t sleep between the ages of 7 and 18 I was afraid that I was going to be

18 I was afraid that I was going to be

18 I was afraid that I was going to be kidnapped in the middle of the night I

kidnapped in the middle of the night I

kidnapped in the middle of the night I was afraid that I would be taken away I

was afraid that I would be taken away I

was afraid that I would be taken away I was afraid that demons would possess me

was afraid that demons would possess me

was afraid that demons would possess me in the middle of the night I would

in the middle of the night I would

in the middle of the night I would afraid I was afraid that my dolls would

afraid I was afraid that my dolls would

afraid I was afraid that my dolls would come to life the only people who made me

come to life the only people who made me

come to life the only people who made me feel safe the most safe in the world

feel safe the most safe in the world

feel safe the most safe in the world were my grandparents my bubby and data

they knew how to tell a story they

they knew how to tell a story they taught me the love of stories they

taught me the love of stories they

taught me the love of stories they taught me to laugh in the midst of

taught me to laugh in the midst of

taught me to laugh in the midst of life’s most challenging circumstances

life’s most challenging circumstances

life’s most challenging circumstances when I was 13 years old

when I was 13 years old

when I was 13 years old my bubby told me that when my Zaida

my bubby told me that when my Zaida

my bubby told me that when my Zaida was about the same age as I was then he

was about the same age as I was then he

was about the same age as I was then he began to feel there was something off

began to feel there was something off

began to feel there was something off with his mental health only it was the

with his mental health only it was the

with his mental health only it was the late 1930s

and they didn’t know what mental health

and they didn’t know what mental health was back then but he was a kid

was back then but he was a kid

was back then but he was a kid so he went to his mother because that’s

so he went to his mother because that’s

so he went to his mother because that’s what we do we go to our parents or the

what we do we go to our parents or the

what we do we go to our parents or the adults that we trust in our lives in

adults that we trust in our lives in

adults that we trust in our lives in hopes that they will guide and support

hopes that they will guide and support

hopes that they will guide and support and nurture us in our uncertainty but my

and nurture us in our uncertainty but my

and nurture us in our uncertainty but my great-grandmother was a Ukrainian Jewish

great-grandmother was a Ukrainian Jewish

great-grandmother was a Ukrainian Jewish immigrants expelled from her country by

immigrants expelled from her country by

immigrants expelled from her country by virtue of existing on the world as a

virtue of existing on the world as a

virtue of existing on the world as a Jewish person so she was fearful she was

Jewish person so she was fearful she was

Jewish person so she was fearful she was sick herself so she told him to keep his

sick herself so she told him to keep his

sick herself so she told him to keep his mouth shut

mouth shut

mouth shut they’ll put you away she said he

they’ll put you away she said he

they’ll put you away she said he believed her he got the message that the

believed her he got the message that the

believed her he got the message that the person he was the person he really was

person he was the person he really was

person he was the person he really was wasn’t good enough wasn’t worthy of help

wasn’t good enough wasn’t worthy of help

wasn’t good enough wasn’t worthy of help wasn’t worthy of the love and the care

wasn’t worthy of the love and the care

wasn’t worthy of the love and the care that he needed and I know that she did

that he needed and I know that she did

that he needed and I know that she did that out of here and out of love but she

that out of here and out of love but she

that out of here and out of love but she sent him a message and it would be 15

sent him a message and it would be 15

sent him a message and it would be 15 years before he received a schizophrenia

years before he received a schizophrenia

years before he received a schizophrenia diagnosis but he carried with him for

diagnosis but he carried with him for

diagnosis but he carried with him for the rest of his life his ultimate

the rest of his life his ultimate

the rest of his life his ultimate Saviour protector partner and defender

Saviour protector partner and defender

Saviour protector partner and defender was my bubby

was my bubby

was my bubby shortly after they were married his

shortly after they were married his

shortly after they were married his symptoms could no longer be avoided but

symptoms could no longer be avoided but

symptoms could no longer be avoided but when he got the diagnosis her family and

when he got the diagnosis her family and

when he got the diagnosis her family and his encouraged her to institutionalize

his encouraged her to institutionalize

his encouraged her to institutionalize put him away it was 1952 and that’s what

put him away it was 1952 and that’s what

put him away it was 1952 and that’s what you did in 1952 you hoped no one found

you did in 1952 you hoped no one found

you did in 1952 you hoped no one found out that you had one of those people in

out that you had one of those people in

out that you had one of those people in your family for us the diagnosis was

your family for us the diagnosis was

your family for us the diagnosis was never a secret we knew who our Zeta was

never a secret we knew who our Zeta was

never a secret we knew who our Zeta was but sometimes he was erratic sometimes

but sometimes he was erratic sometimes

but sometimes he was erratic sometimes he was weird but he was also loving and

he was weird but he was also loving and

he was weird but he was also loving and kind and funny and warm and he was ours

kind and funny and warm and he was ours

kind and funny and warm and he was ours so his life had meaning they would have

so his life had meaning they would have

so his life had meaning they would have had him

had him

had him believe that beyond the schizophrenia

believe that beyond the schizophrenia

believe that beyond the schizophrenia diagnosis there was no one but I know

diagnosis there was no one but I know

diagnosis there was no one but I know that they still felt the need to hide I

that they still felt the need to hide I

that they still felt the need to hide I know that now because you see when you

know that now because you see when you

know that now because you see when you grow up in the midst of amazing people

grow up in the midst of amazing people

grow up in the midst of amazing people you don’t know that you’re growing up in

you don’t know that you’re growing up in

you don’t know that you’re growing up in the midst of amazing people they’re just

the midst of amazing people they’re just

the midst of amazing people they’re just four people I was almost 30 years old

four people I was almost 30 years old

four people I was almost 30 years old before I realized the weight of what

before I realized the weight of what

before I realized the weight of what they carry when I was almost 30 years

they carry when I was almost 30 years

they carry when I was almost 30 years old I started working in the mental

old I started working in the mental

old I started working in the mental health and disability support services

health and disability support services

health and disability support services field and I started listening to people

field and I started listening to people

field and I started listening to people to self-advocates family advocate stand

to self-advocates family advocate stand

to self-advocates family advocate stand up and tell their stories over and over

up and tell their stories over and over

up and tell their stories over and over and over again and it made me realize

and over again and it made me realize

and over again and it made me realize how much my grandparents my family had

how much my grandparents my family had

how much my grandparents my family had been forced to hide and I made it my

been forced to hide and I made it my

been forced to hide and I made it my mission without even really realizing it

mission without even really realizing it

mission without even really realizing it that no 13 year old child if I had

that no 13 year old child if I had

that no 13 year old child if I had anything to do with it no child would

anything to do with it no child would

anything to do with it no child would ever have to hide again through the

ever have to hide again through the

ever have to hide again through the process of learning how to be a

process of learning how to be a

process of learning how to be a self-advocate I came in contact with so

self-advocate I came in contact with so

self-advocate I came in contact with so many others who I asked to share their

many others who I asked to share their

many others who I asked to share their photographs with me because they brought

photographs with me because they brought

photographs with me because they brought me here and they are on this stage with

me here and they are on this stage with

me here and they are on this stage with me tonight

me tonight

me tonight they are incredibly great beautiful

they are incredibly great beautiful

they are incredibly great beautiful people who stand up every day and

people who stand up every day and

people who stand up every day and advocate for the rights of the people

advocate for the rights of the people

advocate for the rights of the people that they love and after hearing it and

that they love and after hearing it and

that they love and after hearing it and seeing it for so long I decided that it

seeing it for so long I decided that it

seeing it for so long I decided that it was time for me to get brave and it was

was time for me to get brave and it was

was time for me to get brave and it was time for me to start telling my story

time for me to start telling my story

time for me to start telling my story I’ve always been a performer a singer a

I’ve always been a performer a singer a

I’ve always been a performer a singer a writer an actor and so I showed up with

writer an actor and so I showed up with

writer an actor and so I showed up with the skills that I had at my disposal and

the skills that I had at my disposal and

the skills that I had at my disposal and I wrote this little show called it runs

I wrote this little show called it runs

I wrote this little show called it runs in the family I wrote and I spoke and I

in the family I wrote and I spoke and I

in the family I wrote and I spoke and I sang and I told and eventually I started

sang and I told and eventually I started

sang and I told and eventually I started inviting other people to come up and the

inviting other people to come up and the

inviting other people to come up and the responses that I got were so

responses that I got were so

responses that I got were so unbelievably amazing and surprising that

unbelievably amazing and surprising that

unbelievably amazing and surprising that I couldn’t stop I became addicted to the

I couldn’t stop I became addicted to the

I couldn’t stop I became addicted to the process of doing that because I thought

process of doing that because I thought

process of doing that because I thought everybody knew how freeing how powerful

everybody knew how freeing how powerful

everybody knew how freeing how powerful it makes you feel when you stand up and

it makes you feel when you stand up and

it makes you feel when you stand up and you share the lived experience of your

you share the lived experience of your

you share the lived experience of your life with the world but they don’t know

life with the world but they don’t know

life with the world but they don’t know and so I’m working with all of these

and so I’m working with all of these

and so I’m working with all of these amazing people to to tell the world to

amazing people to to tell the world to

amazing people to to tell the world to say it’s okay

say it’s okay

say it’s okay we are all broken in some form or

we are all broken in some form or

we are all broken in some form or fashion

and it’s okay so I wrote the show and I

and it’s okay so I wrote the show and I wrote a book and last year I started

wrote a book and last year I started

wrote a book and last year I started this new project with a group of

this new project with a group of

this new project with a group of unbelievably amazing brave beautiful

unbelievably amazing brave beautiful

unbelievably amazing brave beautiful people this is one of the pictures it’s

people this is one of the pictures it’s

people this is one of the pictures it’s called if you could see me and it came

called if you could see me and it came

called if you could see me and it came out of the blue and in a bount of

out of the blue and in a bount of

out of the blue and in a bount of synesthesia in the shower because that’s

synesthesia in the shower because that’s

synesthesia in the shower because that’s where all the best ideas are born right

where all the best ideas are born right

where all the best ideas are born right so I saw hashtag if you can see me in

so I saw hashtag if you can see me in

so I saw hashtag if you can see me in front of my eyes as clear as day and I

front of my eyes as clear as day and I

front of my eyes as clear as day and I knew that this was the next project this

knew that this was the next project this

knew that this was the next project this was the thing that we were going to do

was the thing that we were going to do

was the thing that we were going to do and it wasn’t going to be mine is going

and it wasn’t going to be mine is going

and it wasn’t going to be mine is going to be ours and I called my amazing

to be ours and I called my amazing

to be ours and I called my amazing friend photographer in Richmond Virginia

friend photographer in Richmond Virginia

friend photographer in Richmond Virginia where I live Dean Witt back and I said

where I live Dean Witt back and I said

where I live Dean Witt back and I said this is the project that we’re gonna do

this is the project that we’re gonna do

this is the project that we’re gonna do we’re gonna take our pictures with your

we’re gonna take our pictures with your

we’re gonna take our pictures with your beautiful eye and you’re gonna tell our

beautiful eye and you’re gonna tell our

beautiful eye and you’re gonna tell our stories in that way and we are going to

stories in that way and we are going to

stories in that way and we are going to stand up in front of a roomful of

stand up in front of a roomful of

stand up in front of a roomful of strangers and family and friends and

strangers and family and friends and

strangers and family and friends and whoever else will listen and we’re going

whoever else will listen and we’re going

whoever else will listen and we’re going to tell our stories in our own way we’re

to tell our stories in our own way we’re

to tell our stories in our own way we’re going to share our experiences as adults

going to share our experiences as adults

going to share our experiences as adults living with a mental health diagnosis

living with a mental health diagnosis

living with a mental health diagnosis but the thing is is that this doesn’t

but the thing is is that this doesn’t

but the thing is is that this doesn’t have to be limited to mental health or

have to be limited to mental health or

have to be limited to mental health or to disability services this is all of us

to disability services this is all of us

to disability services this is all of us standing up in front of the world and

standing up in front of the world and

standing up in front of the world and saying I’m ok exactly the way that I am

the facts are really hard and scary

the facts are really hard and scary thing to do it’s hard to admit our flaws

thing to do it’s hard to admit our flaws

thing to do it’s hard to admit our flaws because we live in a world that wants us

because we live in a world that wants us

because we live in a world that wants us to be perfect all the time so I have

to be perfect all the time so I have

to be perfect all the time so I have come here with a challenge for you this

come here with a challenge for you this

come here with a challenge for you this evening

evening

evening that I would like for you to consider I

that I would like for you to consider I

that I would like for you to consider I want you to start out by thinking about

want you to start out by thinking about

want you to start out by thinking about a moment when you were sad when you were

a moment when you were sad when you were

a moment when you were sad when you were disappointed when you were afraid when

disappointed when you were afraid when

disappointed when you were afraid when you were angry when you let yourself

you were angry when you let yourself

you were angry when you let yourself down we let another person down I want

down we let another person down I want

down we let another person down I want you to think about that time and I want

you to think about that time and I want

you to think about that time and I want you to leave tonight

you to leave tonight

you to leave tonight and I want you to go home and I want you

and I want you to go home and I want you

and I want you to go home and I want you to write the story of that incident but

to write the story of that incident but

to write the story of that incident but before you do that I want you to

before you do that I want you to

before you do that I want you to internalize I ask you to internalize the

internalize I ask you to internalize the

internalize I ask you to internalize the following one humor is healing when we

following one humor is healing when we

following one humor is healing when we can find something to laugh at in our

can find something to laugh at in our

can find something to laugh at in our most challenging most painful situations

most challenging most painful situations

most challenging most painful situations we take control over it no longer has

we take control over it no longer has

we take control over it no longer has power over us – this is the secret not

power over us – this is the secret not

power over us – this is the secret not one person on the entire earth was born

one person on the entire earth was born

one person on the entire earth was born with an instruction name nobody knows

with an instruction name nobody knows

with an instruction name nobody knows what the hell they’re doing

and as a results number three you’re not

and as a results number three you’re not alone

number four you are allowed to like

number four you are allowed to like yourself even though you’re not perfect

yourself even though you’re not perfect

yourself even though you’re not perfect that seems like a really simple thing

that seems like a really simple thing

that seems like a really simple thing that is really hard for us to

that is really hard for us to

that is really hard for us to internalize number five I think

imperfect beauty of imperfection right

imperfect beauty of imperfection right number five is you are allowed to be

number five is you are allowed to be

number five is you are allowed to be proud of yourself

proud of yourself

proud of yourself even though you’ve made mistakes a

even though you’ve made mistakes a

even though you’ve made mistakes a number six probably most importantly

number six probably most importantly

number six probably most importantly your story can change the world no

your story can change the world no

your story can change the world no matter how boring how mundane how

matter how boring how mundane how

matter how boring how mundane how uneventful you think your life is if you

uneventful you think your life is if you

uneventful you think your life is if you are able to share your story with the

are able to share your story with the

are able to share your story with the world and you are able to change one

world and you are able to change one

world and you are able to change one person’s perspective one person’s idea

person’s perspective one person’s idea

person’s perspective one person’s idea about who they are and what they’re

about who they are and what they’re

about who they are and what they’re capable of then you have changed the

capable of then you have changed the

capable of then you have changed the world

world

world if a butter if a butterfly’s wings

if a butter if a butterfly’s wings

if a butter if a butterfly’s wings flapping can cause a typhoon then we can

flapping can cause a typhoon then we can

flapping can cause a typhoon then we can change the world with our stories when

change the world with our stories when

change the world with our stories when we learn compassion when we stand next

we learn compassion when we stand next

we learn compassion when we stand next to one another and share the truth of

to one another and share the truth of

to one another and share the truth of what it’s like to live on the planet

that’s all there is that’s all there is

that’s all there is that’s all there is so I ask you to think about your story I

so I ask you to think about your story I

so I ask you to think about your story I ask you to share it it’s yours that’s

ask you to share it it’s yours that’s

ask you to share it it’s yours that’s the great thing it’s your story and you

the great thing it’s your story and you

the great thing it’s your story and you get to share it however you want you get

get to share it however you want you get

get to share it however you want you get to say it in whatever fashion or form

to say it in whatever fashion or form

to say it in whatever fashion or form you are inspired to do it

you are inspired to do it

you are inspired to do it it’s yours all I ask is that you you

it’s yours all I ask is that you you

it’s yours all I ask is that you you love your story you hold your story in

love your story you hold your story in

love your story you hold your story in your heart and then go out and share it

your heart and then go out and share it

your heart and then go out and share it with the world

you

you [Music]

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