I would like to talk to you guys about the failures in everyday life I know
the failures in everyday life I know
the failures in everyday life I know that every day there’s something small
that every day there’s something small
that every day there’s something small or big that’s gonna knock it out you get
or big that’s gonna knock it out you get
or big that’s gonna knock it out you get knocked down every single day of your
knocked down every single day of your
knocked down every single day of your life it’s how you handle those failures
life it’s how you handle those failures
life it’s how you handle those failures though that change the way you perceive
though that change the way you perceive
though that change the way you perceive things in life everyone’s heard the old
things in life everyone’s heard the old
things in life everyone’s heard the old saying a little rain must fall right
saying a little rain must fall right
saying a little rain must fall right well I’m gonna tell you about some of
well I’m gonna tell you about some of
well I’m gonna tell you about some of the rain in my life and to start with
the rain in my life and to start with
the rain in my life and to start with that I need to tell you guys about who I
that I need to tell you guys about who I
that I need to tell you guys about who I was in 1997 that handsome young devil
was in 1997 that handsome young devil
was in 1997 that handsome young devil right there is the seventh-grade version
right there is the seventh-grade version
right there is the seventh-grade version of JJ now I didn’t have a lot of friends
of JJ now I didn’t have a lot of friends
of JJ now I didn’t have a lot of friends and because I didn’t have a lot of
and because I didn’t have a lot of
and because I didn’t have a lot of friends I didn’t have a lot of
friends I didn’t have a lot of
friends I didn’t have a lot of self-respect so much so that I spent an
self-respect so much so that I spent an
self-respect so much so that I spent an entire year with orange and black rubber
entire year with orange and black rubber
entire year with orange and black rubber bands on my braces even though it wasn’t
bands on my braces even though it wasn’t
bands on my braces even though it wasn’t Halloween and I cared so little about
Halloween and I cared so little about
Halloween and I cared so little about myself I just took whatever shirt I
myself I just took whatever shirt I
myself I just took whatever shirt I could find to wear for picture day that
could find to wear for picture day that
could find to wear for picture day that is a Donna Karen of New York t-shirt
is a Donna Karen of New York t-shirt
is a Donna Karen of New York t-shirt that my mother got when she bought some
that my mother got when she bought some
that my mother got when she bought some perfume at least I had the lasers in the
perfume at least I had the lasers in the
perfume at least I had the lasers in the background though that was a cool thing
background though that was a cool thing
background though that was a cool thing when I was in seventh grade
when I was in seventh grade
when I was in seventh grade also in seventh grade I would come home
also in seventh grade I would come home
also in seventh grade I would come home every day from school sit by myself
every day from school sit by myself
every day from school sit by myself I drank Serge like it was going out of
I drank Serge like it was going out of
I drank Serge like it was going out of style and I love the Spice Girls so I
style and I love the Spice Girls so I
style and I love the Spice Girls so I was a real catch during that time I
was a real catch during that time I
was a real catch during that time I discovered something I discovered a
discovered something I discovered a
discovered something I discovered a personal mantra that has brought me to
personal mantra that has brought me to
personal mantra that has brought me to Who I am today I’m confident in myself I
Who I am today I’m confident in myself I
Who I am today I’m confident in myself I like myself I like the people I surround
like myself I like the people I surround
like myself I like the people I surround myself with and the reason I did that is
myself with and the reason I did that is
myself with and the reason I did that is the reason I found that out is because I
the reason I found that out is because I
the reason I found that out is because I realized every day I get knocked down
realized every day I get knocked down
realized every day I get knocked down and I wasn’t getting back up I was just
and I wasn’t getting back up I was just
and I wasn’t getting back up I was just staying on the ground all these little
staying on the ground all these little
staying on the ground all these little tiny failures were amounting to me not
tiny failures were amounting to me not
tiny failures were amounting to me not progressing any further in my life and
progressing any further in my life and
progressing any further in my life and that’s when I found my mantra I found my
that’s when I found my mantra I found my
that’s when I found my mantra I found my mantra from a uk-based band called
mantra from a uk-based band called
mantra from a uk-based band called Chumbawamba and the song tub-thumping
Chumbawamba and the song tub-thumping
Chumbawamba and the song tub-thumping now if you’re not familiar with a song
now if you’re not familiar with a song
now if you’re not familiar with a song tub-thumping the chorus goes I get
tub-thumping the chorus goes I get
tub-thumping the chorus goes I get knocked down I get up again you’re never
knocked down I get up again you’re never
knocked down I get up again you’re never gonna keep me down now it’s simple words
gonna keep me down now it’s simple words
gonna keep me down now it’s simple words it became a number one
it became a number one
it became a number one for a band that lasted all of about two
for a band that lasted all of about two
for a band that lasted all of about two seconds but in those words I found a way
seconds but in those words I found a way
seconds but in those words I found a way that I could start getting back up in my
that I could start getting back up in my
that I could start getting back up in my life and to remind myself that I am the
life and to remind myself that I am the
life and to remind myself that I am the only person accountable for who I’m
only person accountable for who I’m
only person accountable for who I’m going to be so I figure I got to put
going to be so I figure I got to put
going to be so I figure I got to put this into motion right I got to figure
this into motion right I got to figure
this into motion right I got to figure out a way to get my new mantra into
out a way to get my new mantra into
out a way to get my new mantra into action and that action took place in gym
action and that action took place in gym
action and that action took place in gym class I would run to gym class so that I
class I would run to gym class so that I
class I would run to gym class so that I could be in the locker room before
could be in the locker room before
could be in the locker room before anybody else so I could change before
anybody else so I could change before
anybody else so I could change before anyone else had a chance to see me
anyone else had a chance to see me
anyone else had a chance to see me without my shirt on because I suffered
without my shirt on because I suffered
without my shirt on because I suffered from moobs man-breasts yeah I still have
from moobs man-breasts yeah I still have
from moobs man-breasts yeah I still have a pair now I’m still working on it it’s
a pair now I’m still working on it it’s
a pair now I’m still working on it it’s just the way that things happen to go
just the way that things happen to go
just the way that things happen to go but I didn’t eat well at the time I
but I didn’t eat well at the time I
but I didn’t eat well at the time I didn’t exercise and so that’s what I
didn’t exercise and so that’s what I
didn’t exercise and so that’s what I ended up with and I hated having people
ended up with and I hated having people
ended up with and I hated having people see me without a shirt on I hated being
see me without a shirt on I hated being
see me without a shirt on I hated being teased and it happened every single day
teased and it happened every single day
teased and it happened every single day so I got myself together and I grabbed
so I got myself together and I grabbed
so I got myself together and I grabbed my mantra and I said what am I gonna do
my mantra and I said what am I gonna do
my mantra and I said what am I gonna do with my mantra and all of a sudden oh
with my mantra and all of a sudden oh
with my mantra and all of a sudden oh that makes so much sense I’m gonna start
that makes so much sense I’m gonna start
that makes so much sense I’m gonna start making fun of myself before everyone
making fun of myself before everyone
making fun of myself before everyone else starts making fun of me and I put
else starts making fun of me and I put
else starts making fun of me and I put up a shell I put up a little wall of
up a shell I put up a little wall of
up a shell I put up a little wall of humor and that humor allowed me to joke
humor and that humor allowed me to joke
humor and that humor allowed me to joke about myself before someone else could I
about myself before someone else could I
about myself before someone else could I took the power away from them and that
took the power away from them and that
took the power away from them and that has helped me with so many other things
has helped me with so many other things
has helped me with so many other things in my life that I find myself saying
in my life that I find myself saying
in my life that I find myself saying gosh I like Who I am now I don’t have to
gosh I like Who I am now I don’t have to
gosh I like Who I am now I don’t have to wear a t-shirt when I go in the pool
wear a t-shirt when I go in the pool
wear a t-shirt when I go in the pool anymore
anymore
anymore I can be who I want to be now when you
I can be who I want to be now when you
I can be who I want to be now when you get knocked down in life there’s two
get knocked down in life there’s two
get knocked down in life there’s two types of ways to get knocked down one
types of ways to get knocked down one
types of ways to get knocked down one way is a fast way one’s a slow way me
way is a fast way one’s a slow way me
way is a fast way one’s a slow way me getting moobs and being teased and being
getting moobs and being teased and being
getting moobs and being teased and being a chubby kid is a slow way before I knew
a chubby kid is a slow way before I knew
a chubby kid is a slow way before I knew it I was already on the ground and I was
it I was already on the ground and I was
it I was already on the ground and I was being teased and that that whole ordeal
being teased and that that whole ordeal
being teased and that that whole ordeal was something that I’m still working on
was something that I’m still working on
was something that I’m still working on today but I’m working on getting back up
today but I’m working on getting back up
today but I’m working on getting back up now there’s also fast ways that you can
now there’s also fast ways that you can
now there’s also fast ways that you can get knocked down and one of the fast
get knocked down and one of the fast
get knocked down and one of the fast ways you can get knocked down is to look
ways you can get knocked down is to look
ways you can get knocked down is to look in the mirror and tell yourself that
in the mirror and tell yourself that
in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re not good enough but brother ollie
you’re not good enough but brother ollie
you’re not good enough but brother ollie shares this lyric with
shares this lyric with
shares this lyric with says you might think I’m depressed as
says you might think I’m depressed as
says you might think I’m depressed as can be but when I look in the mirror I
can be but when I look in the mirror I
can be but when I look in the mirror I see sexy ask me and I’m not gonna let
see sexy ask me and I’m not gonna let
see sexy ask me and I’m not gonna let that every single day I’m not gonna let
that every single day I’m not gonna let
that every single day I’m not gonna let that pimple knock me down today I’m not
that pimple knock me down today I’m not
that pimple knock me down today I’m not gonna let any of those small things
gonna let any of those small things
gonna let any of those small things knock me down I’m gonna keep on going
knock me down I’m gonna keep on going
knock me down I’m gonna keep on going now another fast knock down this one’s a
now another fast knock down this one’s a
now another fast knock down this one’s a little more universal you guys might
little more universal you guys might
little more universal you guys might enjoy this is the fact that let’s see I
enjoy this is the fact that let’s see I
enjoy this is the fact that let’s see I have been rejected by two Katy’s
have been rejected by two Katy’s
have been rejected by two Katy’s actually I’m Ashley as a Rebecca and
actually I’m Ashley as a Rebecca and
actually I’m Ashley as a Rebecca and three Melissa’s two of which we’re on
three Melissa’s two of which we’re on
three Melissa’s two of which we’re on the same night I spent a lot of my life
the same night I spent a lot of my life
the same night I spent a lot of my life being rejected by women and that’s just
being rejected by women and that’s just
being rejected by women and that’s just the way it goes and I’m sure a lot of
the way it goes and I’m sure a lot of
the way it goes and I’m sure a lot of you can empathize with that because
you can empathize with that because
you can empathize with that because you’ve been rejected as well in those
you’ve been rejected as well in those
you’ve been rejected as well in those ways well rejection isn’t such a bad
ways well rejection isn’t such a bad
ways well rejection isn’t such a bad thing all the time you might think to
thing all the time you might think to
thing all the time you might think to yourself oh I’m getting all of these
yourself oh I’m getting all of these
yourself oh I’m getting all of these knows in my life know for this you can’t
knows in my life know for this you can’t
knows in my life know for this you can’t do that it’s impossible it’s not going
do that it’s impossible it’s not going
do that it’s impossible it’s not going to happen well just because you’re being
to happen well just because you’re being
to happen well just because you’re being rejected doesn’t mean it’s gonna hurt
rejected doesn’t mean it’s gonna hurt
rejected doesn’t mean it’s gonna hurt yourself
yourself
yourself just because you get knocked down
just because you get knocked down
just because you get knocked down doesn’t mean you can’t get back up again
doesn’t mean you can’t get back up again
doesn’t mean you can’t get back up again no one’s gonna keep you down you can’t
no one’s gonna keep you down you can’t
no one’s gonna keep you down you can’t allow yourself or other people to keep
allow yourself or other people to keep
allow yourself or other people to keep you down
you down
you down once you’re on the ground so for me one
once you’re on the ground so for me one
once you’re on the ground so for me one of the big things was learning that
of the big things was learning that
of the big things was learning that rejection was actually a way I was being
rejection was actually a way I was being
rejection was actually a way I was being redirected to something else with all
redirected to something else with all
redirected to something else with all these women I struck out with I was
these women I struck out with I was
these women I struck out with I was being redirected towards a different
being redirected towards a different
being redirected towards a different person I found the love of my life 11
person I found the love of my life 11
person I found the love of my life 11 years ago Jill and every single day I’m
years ago Jill and every single day I’m
years ago Jill and every single day I’m thankful from all the rejections I had
thankful from all the rejections I had
thankful from all the rejections I had before because those rejections allowed
before because those rejections allowed
before because those rejections allowed me to find her
me to find her
me to find her today and now you might think a job
today and now you might think a job
today and now you might think a job promotion that flies out the window is a
promotion that flies out the window is a
promotion that flies out the window is a rejection well maybe it means that
rejection well maybe it means that
rejection well maybe it means that you’ve got something bigger going on but
you’ve got something bigger going on but
you’ve got something bigger going on but the only way you can find that bigger
the only way you can find that bigger
the only way you can find that bigger thing is to pick yourself up and move on
thing is to pick yourself up and move on
thing is to pick yourself up and move on to the next element of your life when
to the next element of your life when
to the next element of your life when you get knocked down you get up again
you get knocked down you get up again
you get knocked down you get up again nothing is going to ever keep you down
nothing is going to ever keep you down
nothing is going to ever keep you down so in my life I’ve had two big knock
so in my life I’ve had two big knock
so in my life I’ve had two big knock downs that were really hard for me to
downs that were really hard for me to
downs that were really hard for me to deal with one of them was slow one of
deal with one of them was slow one of
deal with one of them was slow one of them was fast the slow one occurred my
them was fast the slow one occurred my
them was fast the slow one occurred my senior year of high school by the time I
senior year of high school by the time I
senior year of high school by the time I was a senior in high school
was a senior in high school
was a senior in high school I
I
I so much bigger than my dad he could sit
so much bigger than my dad he could sit
so much bigger than my dad he could sit on my lap and I love my dad a lot of my
on my lap and I love my dad a lot of my
on my lap and I love my dad a lot of my humor comes from him I’m definitely the
humor comes from him I’m definitely the
humor comes from him I’m definitely the person I am today because of his
person I am today because of his
person I am today because of his influence on my life and he encouraged
influence on my life and he encouraged
influence on my life and he encouraged me to get ready to go to college and I
me to get ready to go to college and I
me to get ready to go to college and I was excited in three weeks before I was
was excited in three weeks before I was
was excited in three weeks before I was gonna move to Chicago to go to college
gonna move to Chicago to go to college
gonna move to Chicago to go to college we found out that he had tongue and
we found out that he had tongue and
we found out that he had tongue and throat cancer so that was the beginning
throat cancer so that was the beginning
throat cancer so that was the beginning of our knock-down you might think that’s
of our knock-down you might think that’s
of our knock-down you might think that’s a fast knockdown to find that out but it
a fast knockdown to find that out but it
a fast knockdown to find that out but it wasn’t it was a slow knockdown because
wasn’t it was a slow knockdown because
wasn’t it was a slow knockdown because it started off with the diagnosis and
it started off with the diagnosis and
it started off with the diagnosis and then it spent six months of treatment
then it spent six months of treatment
then it spent six months of treatment and then the Mayo Clinic telling us that
and then the Mayo Clinic telling us that
and then the Mayo Clinic telling us that there wasn’t anything left to do and the
there wasn’t anything left to do and the
there wasn’t anything left to do and the time was short by the time we heard that
time was short by the time we heard that
time was short by the time we heard that my family and I all realized that we
my family and I all realized that we
my family and I all realized that we were on the ground and we had been
were on the ground and we had been
were on the ground and we had been knocked down six months that entire time
knocked down six months that entire time
knocked down six months that entire time it’s tough to think about it’s tough to
it’s tough to think about it’s tough to
it’s tough to think about it’s tough to talk about and it took a long time for
talk about and it took a long time for
talk about and it took a long time for my family and I to get back up from that
my family and I to get back up from that
my family and I to get back up from that it takes a long time when you have small
it takes a long time when you have small
it takes a long time when you have small knockdowns in your life it takes a
knockdowns in your life it takes a
knockdowns in your life it takes a really long time when you lose someone
really long time when you lose someone
really long time when you lose someone as influential as a parent luckily my
as influential as a parent luckily my
as influential as a parent luckily my mom was awesome
mom was awesome
mom was awesome and she did everything she could to keep
and she did everything she could to keep
and she did everything she could to keep our family together – one and eventually
our family together – one and eventually
our family together – one and eventually we had more smiles than tears we were
we had more smiles than tears we were
we had more smiles than tears we were laughing at memories and it was alright
laughing at memories and it was alright
laughing at memories and it was alright to talk about my dad because even though
to talk about my dad because even though
to talk about my dad because even though we missed him we remembered him and we
we missed him we remembered him and we
we missed him we remembered him and we embraced his memory and so after many
embraced his memory and so after many
embraced his memory and so after many many years we were not knocked down
many years we were not knocked down
many years we were not knocked down anymore we got up again because no one
anymore we got up again because no one
anymore we got up again because no one was gonna keep us down so that’s a slow
was gonna keep us down so that’s a slow
was gonna keep us down so that’s a slow not down in my life now a fast knock
not down in my life now a fast knock
not down in my life now a fast knock down that we had would have been a few
down that we had would have been a few
down that we had would have been a few months ago when my mother complained
months ago when my mother complained
months ago when my mother complained about a headache she said that she had a
about a headache she said that she had a
about a headache she said that she had a bad headache coming on and it was
bad headache coming on and it was
bad headache coming on and it was getting worse and worse and so we drove
getting worse and worse and so we drove
getting worse and worse and so we drove her to the hospital when we drove her to
her to the hospital when we drove her to
her to the hospital when we drove her to the hospital she stopped making sense
the hospital she stopped making sense
the hospital she stopped making sense instead of saying I’m in pain she would
instead of saying I’m in pain she would
instead of saying I’m in pain she would say I’m in tree she started complaining
say I’m in tree she started complaining
say I’m in tree she started complaining saying I need more knee and eventually
saying I need more knee and eventually
saying I need more knee and eventually when we got into the ER she was talking
when we got into the ER she was talking
when we got into the ER she was talking about how she needed to go back to the
about how she needed to go back to the
about how she needed to go back to the house to get and
house to get and
house to get and after school snack ready for my sister
after school snack ready for my sister
after school snack ready for my sister and I who were both full grown adults at
and I who were both full grown adults at
and I who were both full grown adults at the time she had had a hemorrhagic
the time she had had a hemorrhagic
the time she had had a hemorrhagic stroke and there was blood pooling in
stroke and there was blood pooling in
stroke and there was blood pooling in the back of her brain pushing on her
the back of her brain pushing on her
the back of her brain pushing on her speech Center and she got in immediately
speech Center and she got in immediately
speech Center and she got in immediately for emergency brain surgery and the
for emergency brain surgery and the
for emergency brain surgery and the neurologist did all they could but we
neurologist did all they could but we
neurologist did all they could but we lost my mother the shell of her body
lost my mother the shell of her body
lost my mother the shell of her body stayed around for a little bit but we
stayed around for a little bit but we
stayed around for a little bit but we had to say goodbye and I never had a
had to say goodbye and I never had a
had to say goodbye and I never had a final conversation with her like I was
final conversation with her like I was
final conversation with her like I was able to do with my dad since his death
able to do with my dad since his death
able to do with my dad since his death was so prolonged in fact the last thing
was so prolonged in fact the last thing
was so prolonged in fact the last thing I said to my mom was the day before I
I said to my mom was the day before I
I said to my mom was the day before I said we need to renew our Costco
said we need to renew our Costco
said we need to renew our Costco membership which I do every year in her
membership which I do every year in her
membership which I do every year in her honor now losing my mom that fast was
honor now losing my mom that fast was
honor now losing my mom that fast was tough and I still have not picked myself
tough and I still have not picked myself
tough and I still have not picked myself up from that knockdown and I don’t know
up from that knockdown and I don’t know
up from that knockdown and I don’t know if I’m ever going to pick myself up from
if I’m ever going to pick myself up from
if I’m ever going to pick myself up from that knockdown but darn it I’m gonna
that knockdown but darn it I’m gonna
that knockdown but darn it I’m gonna make sure I try because when I get
make sure I try because when I get
make sure I try because when I get knocked down I get up again they’re
knocked down I get up again they’re
knocked down I get up again they’re never gonna keep me down after my
never gonna keep me down after my
never gonna keep me down after my mother’s death we found out the cause
mother’s death we found out the cause
mother’s death we found out the cause was called an amyloid angiopathy which
was called an amyloid angiopathy which
was called an amyloid angiopathy which is where amyloid proteins build up in
is where amyloid proteins build up in
is where amyloid proteins build up in the arteries in your brain and it’s
the arteries in your brain and it’s
the arteries in your brain and it’s common that they have small brain bleeds
common that they have small brain bleeds
common that they have small brain bleeds a lot of people see it with Alzheimer’s
a lot of people see it with Alzheimer’s
a lot of people see it with Alzheimer’s patients or people suffering from
patients or people suffering from
patients or people suffering from dementia the doctor then told us oh good
dementia the doctor then told us oh good
dementia the doctor then told us oh good news it’s a genetic disorder as well and
news it’s a genetic disorder as well and
news it’s a genetic disorder as well and you probably are carrying it right now
you probably are carrying it right now
you probably are carrying it right now they had no idea my mom had it when she
they had no idea my mom had it when she
they had no idea my mom had it when she went in it was news to us both of my
went in it was news to us both of my
went in it was news to us both of my grandparents suffered from Alzheimer’s
grandparents suffered from Alzheimer’s
grandparents suffered from Alzheimer’s disease and so a lot of the pieces
disease and so a lot of the pieces
disease and so a lot of the pieces started coming together in this puzzle a
started coming together in this puzzle a
started coming together in this puzzle a lot of people ask me are you gonna go
lot of people ask me are you gonna go
lot of people ask me are you gonna go get tested for this and find out if you
get tested for this and find out if you
get tested for this and find out if you have it and my initial answer was
have it and my initial answer was
have it and my initial answer was absolutely not when I started prepping
absolutely not when I started prepping
absolutely not when I started prepping this talk specifically I decided it’s
this talk specifically I decided it’s
this talk specifically I decided it’s time that I get tested for this it’s
time that I get tested for this it’s
time that I get tested for this it’s time I find out what my life is gonna
time I find out what my life is gonna
time I find out what my life is gonna hold for me and not because I need to
hold for me and not because I need to
hold for me and not because I need to make the next 60 days count but it’s
make the next 60 days count but it’s
make the next 60 days count but it’s because I want to make sure that my
because I want to make sure that my
because I want to make sure that my house is in order should something like
house is in order should something like
house is in order should something like this happen to me in my life I want to
this happen to me in my life I want to
this happen to me in my life I want to make sure that I don’t leave anything
make sure that I don’t leave anything
make sure that I don’t leave anything unsaid I want to make sure that people
unsaid I want to make sure that people
unsaid I want to make sure that people don’t have any regrets and so
don’t have any regrets and so
don’t have any regrets and so two weeks ago I began the process of
two weeks ago I began the process of
two weeks ago I began the process of getting tested for amyloid angiopathy
getting tested for amyloid angiopathy
getting tested for amyloid angiopathy and whether or not that affects my life
and whether or not that affects my life
and whether or not that affects my life as far as my health in my body it’s not
as far as my health in my body it’s not
as far as my health in my body it’s not going to affect the way I take on life
going to affect the way I take on life
going to affect the way I take on life because I am ready to make every single
because I am ready to make every single
because I am ready to make every single day count I am ready to make sure that
day count I am ready to make sure that
day count I am ready to make sure that if you like cake I want you to try pie
if you like cake I want you to try pie
if you like cake I want you to try pie if you want to go left I want you to try
if you want to go left I want you to try
if you want to go left I want you to try right I want to make sure that when you
right I want to make sure that when you
right I want to make sure that when you get knocked down you get back up again
get knocked down you get back up again
get knocked down you get back up again because no one is going to keep you down
because no one is going to keep you down
because no one is going to keep you down no words no people no places no things
no words no people no places no things
no words no people no places no things are going to keep you from doing what
are going to keep you from doing what
are going to keep you from doing what you need to do to have a happy healthy
you need to do to have a happy healthy
you need to do to have a happy healthy life so when you get knocked down you
life so when you get knocked down you
life so when you get knocked down you get up again no one’s ever going to keep
get up again no one’s ever going to keep
get up again no one’s ever going to keep you down
”
Be First to Comment