I.C.E – MANAGING EXPECTATIONS | Dr Duncan Cross | TEDxUniversityofBolton

[Applause]

[Applause] hello my name is Duncan cross and I

hello my name is Duncan cross and I

hello my name is Duncan cross and I would like to share with you a really

would like to share with you a really

would like to share with you a really simple tool for managing expectations

simple tool for managing expectations

simple tool for managing expectations with students and tutors or in life

with students and tutors or in life

with students and tutors or in life generally and it called ice but the tool

generally and it called ice but the tool

generally and it called ice but the tool requires us to use active listening

requires us to use active listening

requires us to use active listening skills so I’m embedding a challenge for

skills so I’m embedding a challenge for

skills so I’m embedding a challenge for you into this talk to see if you can see

you into this talk to see if you can see

you into this talk to see if you can see what I’ve done and what you can

what I’ve done and what you can

what I’ve done and what you can recognize can you see the films the

recognize can you see the films the

recognize can you see the films the songs the musicals or the TV shows that

songs the musicals or the TV shows that

songs the musicals or the TV shows that I’ve referenced and how many times I do

I’ve referenced and how many times I do

I’ve referenced and how many times I do it and I’d like to give you some context

it and I’d like to give you some context

it and I’d like to give you some context to my musings without making it sound

to my musings without making it sound

to my musings without making it sound like a Greek tragedy but firstly just to

like a Greek tragedy but firstly just to

like a Greek tragedy but firstly just to manage your expectations

manage your expectations

manage your expectations happy hour comes a little later so

happy hour comes a little later so

happy hour comes a little later so expectations are a really tricky thing

expectations are a really tricky thing

expectations are a really tricky thing to manage whether it be with friends

to manage whether it be with friends

to manage whether it be with friends family in a health context life

family in a health context life

family in a health context life generally or in education especially if

generally or in education especially if

generally or in education especially if you feel like you’re playing by the

you feel like you’re playing by the

you feel like you’re playing by the rules of someone else’s game and these

rules of someone else’s game and these

rules of someone else’s game and these expectations are especially difficult to

expectations are especially difficult to

expectations are especially difficult to manage in higher education as we see the

manage in higher education as we see the

manage in higher education as we see the relationship between a student the

relationship between a student the

relationship between a student the institution and a tutor or supervisor

institution and a tutor or supervisor

institution and a tutor or supervisor fraught with difficulties that can be

fraught with difficulties that can be

fraught with difficulties that can be extremely challenging for both as a

extremely challenging for both as a

extremely challenging for both as a tutor I’ll tell you what I want and what

tutor I’ll tell you what I want and what

tutor I’ll tell you what I want and what I really really want and you as a

I really really want and you as a

I really really want and you as a student well you’ll tell me what you

student well you’ll tell me what you

student well you’ll tell me what you want what you really really want but

want what you really really want but

want what you really really want but there’s a danger of being stuck in the

there’s a danger of being stuck in the

there’s a danger of being stuck in the middle wondering what it is we should do

middle wondering what it is we should do

middle wondering what it is we should do and not really managing either of our

and not really managing either of our

and not really managing either of our expectations of what the educational

expectations of what the educational

expectations of what the educational experience should really be so from an

experience should really be so from an

experience should really be so from an academic standpoint there’s certainly a

academic standpoint there’s certainly a

academic standpoint there’s certainly a recognized need in the literature for

recognized need in the literature for

recognized need in the literature for further research around managing

further research around managing

further research around managing expectations especially for doctoral

expectations especially for doctoral

expectations especially for doctoral research students but there’s also

research students but there’s also

research students but there’s also appears to be a real reluctance to

appears to be a real reluctance to

appears to be a real reluctance to engage in a difficult dialogue or build

engage in a difficult dialogue or build

engage in a difficult dialogue or build relationships are based on a shared

relationships are based on a shared

relationships are based on a shared management of expectations but the tool

management of expectations but the tool

management of expectations but the tool I’m going to share with you isn’t just

I’m going to share with you isn’t just

I’m going to share with you isn’t just for doctoral research students in fact

for doctoral research students in fact

for doctoral research students in fact it’s been widely used across healthcare

it’s been widely used across healthcare

it’s been widely used across healthcare settings and

settings and

settings and ice stands for ideas concerns and

ice stands for ideas concerns and

ice stands for ideas concerns and expectations the ice model has been used

expectations the ice model has been used

expectations the ice model has been used within clinical communication skills

within clinical communication skills

within clinical communication skills training since the 1980s and comes from

training since the 1980s and comes from

training since the 1980s and comes from Becca am a man’s health belief model

Becca am a man’s health belief model

Becca am a man’s health belief model with the overarching idea that you can

with the overarching idea that you can

with the overarching idea that you can better help a patient if you know their

better help a patient if you know their

better help a patient if you know their ideas concerns and expectations about

ideas concerns and expectations about

ideas concerns and expectations about their health so if you’ve recently been

their health so if you’ve recently been

their health so if you’ve recently been to the doctor and they’ve asked you what

to the doctor and they’ve asked you what

to the doctor and they’ve asked you what you think is wrong they’re trying to

you think is wrong they’re trying to

you think is wrong they’re trying to find out what you think you know or

find out what you think you know or

find out what you think you know or don’t know or more importantly if you’ve

don’t know or more importantly if you’ve

don’t know or more importantly if you’ve just spent two days on google searching

just spent two days on google searching

just spent two days on google searching for your symptoms there they might ask

for your symptoms there they might ask

for your symptoms there they might ask you are you worried or why are you

you are you worried or why are you

you are you worried or why are you worried and they’re trying to see if

worried and they’re trying to see if

worried and they’re trying to see if you’ve had a family member with similar

you’ve had a family member with similar

you’ve had a family member with similar symptoms or a specific illness that you

symptoms or a specific illness that you

symptoms or a specific illness that you think you might have or maybe if a

think you might have or maybe if a

think you might have or maybe if a health campaign has prompted you to come

health campaign has prompted you to come

health campaign has prompted you to come and they finally they might ask you what

and they finally they might ask you what

and they finally they might ask you what do you want from today and they’re

do you want from today and they’re

do you want from today and they’re trying to see if you’re expecting to be

trying to see if you’re expecting to be

trying to see if you’re expecting to be referred to a specialist whether you

referred to a specialist whether you

referred to a specialist whether you just want a prescription or if you’ve

just want a prescription or if you’ve

just want a prescription or if you’ve come for a chat so if we put this into

come for a chat so if we put this into

come for a chat so if we put this into the analogy of an iceberg they’re trying

the analogy of an iceberg they’re trying

the analogy of an iceberg they’re trying to understand the unseen that lies below

to understand the unseen that lies below

to understand the unseen that lies below the surface they can then find out why

the surface they can then find out why

the surface they can then find out why you were there why are you worried and

you were there why are you worried and

you were there why are you worried and what you expect them to do as a health

what you expect them to do as a health

what you expect them to do as a health professional they can then manage your

professional they can then manage your

professional they can then manage your expectations with regards to treatment

expectations with regards to treatment

expectations with regards to treatment referrals and perhaps the most important

referrals and perhaps the most important

referrals and perhaps the most important thing to me how you feel when you walk

thing to me how you feel when you walk

thing to me how you feel when you walk away from that appointment

away from that appointment

away from that appointment unfortunately the model isn’t always

unfortunately the model isn’t always

unfortunately the model isn’t always used effectually partly because we have

used effectually partly because we have

used effectually partly because we have a disjointed relationship with only one

a disjointed relationship with only one

a disjointed relationship with only one side knowing the rules which causes

side knowing the rules which causes

side knowing the rules which causes frustrations and might make you feel

frustrations and might make you feel

frustrations and might make you feel like a child when you leave that

like a child when you leave that

like a child when you leave that appointment

appointment

appointment sometimes the model is just use

sometimes the model is just use

sometimes the model is just use ineffectually we don’t get it so you can

ineffectually we don’t get it so you can

ineffectually we don’t get it so you can go through the motions and ask the

go through the motions and ask the

go through the motions and ask the questions but if you’re walking through

questions but if you’re walking through

questions but if you’re walking through the part ticking boxes and don’t

the part ticking boxes and don’t

the part ticking boxes and don’t actively listen to the answers and do

actively listen to the answers and do

actively listen to the answers and do something with the information there’s

something with the information there’s

something with the information there’s no point all in all the ice model just

no point all in all the ice model just

no point all in all the ice model just becomes another brick in the wall that

becomes another brick in the wall that

becomes another brick in the wall that disrupts the development of rapport and

disrupts the development of rapport and

disrupts the development of rapport and good community

good community

good community okay so we’ve ice them but what next so

okay so we’ve ice them but what next so

okay so we’ve ice them but what next so I bet you’re wondering why how does ice

I bet you’re wondering why how does ice

I bet you’re wondering why how does ice stick with us in education well what I’d

stick with us in education well what I’d

stick with us in education well what I’d like to do is reshape your vision from

like to do is reshape your vision from

like to do is reshape your vision from the iceberg

the iceberg

the iceberg and think about the educational

and think about the educational

and think about the educational experience in my vision as a cocktail

experience in my vision as a cocktail

experience in my vision as a cocktail little glasses of fruity goodness that

little glasses of fruity goodness that

little glasses of fruity goodness that are filled with different ingredients to

are filled with different ingredients to

are filled with different ingredients to get us that perfect taste or experience

get us that perfect taste or experience

get us that perfect taste or experience sometimes they are just fruit juice and

sometimes they are just fruit juice and

sometimes they are just fruit juice and sometimes we had alcohol that might

sometimes we had alcohol that might

sometimes we had alcohol that might enhance the flavor or it might lead to

enhance the flavor or it might lead to

enhance the flavor or it might lead to something more fiery or explosive

something more fiery or explosive

something more fiery or explosive they’re arguably the most important

they’re arguably the most important

they’re arguably the most important ingredient in all of our cocktails is

ingredient in all of our cocktails is

ingredient in all of our cocktails is ice so we can use the model in the same

ice so we can use the model in the same

ice so we can use the model in the same way that was described earlier so I

way that was described earlier so I

way that was described earlier so I could say to a student or ask a student

could say to a student or ask a student

could say to a student or ask a student where do you think you should be up to

where do you think you should be up to

where do you think you should be up to with your work I’m getting their idea I

with your work I’m getting their idea I

with your work I’m getting their idea I then might say are there any challenges

then might say are there any challenges

then might say are there any challenges or barriers to you submitting your work

or barriers to you submitting your work

or barriers to you submitting your work and I’m trying to find out their

and I’m trying to find out their

and I’m trying to find out their concerns

concerns

concerns my last question could be what are you

my last question could be what are you

my last question could be what are you going to do from this meeting and I’m

going to do from this meeting and I’m

going to do from this meeting and I’m finding out their expectation and from

finding out their expectation and from

finding out their expectation and from this we as tutors get a good sense of

this we as tutors get a good sense of

this we as tutors get a good sense of where the student is and where we can

where the student is and where we can

where the student is and where we can tell them what they need to do but

tell them what they need to do but

tell them what they need to do but there’s a real danger that we’re taking

there’s a real danger that we’re taking

there’s a real danger that we’re taking a mechanistic approach that doesn’t

a mechanistic approach that doesn’t

a mechanistic approach that doesn’t really manage anybody’s expectations we

really manage anybody’s expectations we

really manage anybody’s expectations we impose our expectations on the students

impose our expectations on the students

impose our expectations on the students and we’ve ice them so we’re not managing

and we’ve ice them so we’re not managing

and we’ve ice them so we’re not managing them we’re dismissing them and their

them we’re dismissing them and their

them we’re dismissing them and their expectations there’s two things we’re

expectations there’s two things we’re

expectations there’s two things we’re distancing them and their expectations

distancing them and their expectations

distancing them and their expectations and effectively we might leave them on

and effectively we might leave them on

and effectively we might leave them on the rocks

and potentially the other thing that we

and potentially the other thing that we might do is just leave the student to

might do is just leave the student to

might do is just leave the student to find out what happens to solid water

find out what happens to solid water

find out what happens to solid water when it gets warm we can leave the

when it gets warm we can leave the

when it gets warm we can leave the student with just ice there’s nothing in

student with just ice there’s nothing in

student with just ice there’s nothing in there and we leave them alone for three

there and we leave them alone for three

there and we leave them alone for three years or maybe more and we find out what

years or maybe more and we find out what

years or maybe more and we find out what happens so question isn’t it always 5050

happens so question isn’t it always 5050

happens so question isn’t it always 5050 in relationships if we use ice to

in relationships if we use ice to

in relationships if we use ice to structure a conversation so that I is

structure a conversation so that I is

structure a conversation so that I is that you to understand what’s where the

that you to understand what’s where the

that you to understand what’s where the student is coming from and the student

student is coming from and the student

student is coming from and the student understands where the tutor is coming

understands where the tutor is coming

understands where the tutor is coming from we can start to manage our mutual

from we can start to manage our mutual

from we can start to manage our mutual expectations it’s not just about me

expectations it’s not just about me

expectations it’s not just about me asking a question and managing your

asking a question and managing your

asking a question and managing your expectations this is about shared

expectations this is about shared

expectations this is about shared understanding and managing both of our

understanding and managing both of our

understanding and managing both of our expectations so we need to reframe our

expectations so we need to reframe our

expectations so we need to reframe our questions to we where do we think you

questions to we where do we think you

questions to we where do we think you should be up to with your work or

should be up to with your work or

should be up to with your work or getting the idea of both parties do you

getting the idea of both parties do you

getting the idea of both parties do you we think there are any challenges or

we think there are any challenges or

we think there are any challenges or barriers to submitting or understanding

barriers to submitting or understanding

barriers to submitting or understanding the concerns and finally the expectation

the concerns and finally the expectation

the concerns and finally the expectation well where do we go from here and

well where do we go from here and

well where do we go from here and effectively we’ve asked would you like

effectively we’ve asked would you like

effectively we’ve asked would you like ice but we could use another example

ice but we could use another example

ice but we could use another example with these questions so if you go back

with these questions so if you go back

with these questions so if you go back to your first year at university or of

to your first year at university or of

to your first year at university or of your studies the questions I could be

your studies the questions I could be

your studies the questions I could be asking is what you think your degree is

asking is what you think your degree is

asking is what you think your degree is or what do we think a degree is what are

or what do we think a degree is what are

or what do we think a degree is what are we worried about for your journey and

we worried about for your journey and

we worried about for your journey and where do we expect me to end up but if

where do we expect me to end up but if

where do we expect me to end up but if we want to take this further and really

we want to take this further and really

we want to take this further and really manage our expectations regarding

manage our expectations regarding

manage our expectations regarding learning we need to take it further

learning we need to take it further

learning we need to take it further sometimes your expectations need to be

sometimes your expectations need to be

sometimes your expectations need to be shaken and we’re going to ask really

shaken and we’re going to ask really

shaken and we’re going to ask really challenging questions to help us work

challenging questions to help us work

challenging questions to help us work out the plan for both sides not just the

out the plan for both sides not just the

out the plan for both sides not just the students sometimes they need to be

students sometimes they need to be

students sometimes they need to be stirred

so we might be seeking a little

so we might be seeking a little clarification or a gentle nudge in the

clarification or a gentle nudge in the

clarification or a gentle nudge in the right direction or a different direction

right direction or a different direction

right direction or a different direction and occasionally we need to crush our

and occasionally we need to crush our

and occasionally we need to crush our expectations did anybody remember this

expectations did anybody remember this

expectations did anybody remember this some of you do you’re laughing

some of you do you’re laughing

some of you do you’re laughing I’m going to avoid their niceness this

I’m going to avoid their niceness this

I’m going to avoid their niceness this isn’t as easy as I thought we’ll leave

isn’t as easy as I thought we’ll leave

isn’t as easy as I thought we’ll leave that for now and we might crush our

that for now and we might crush our

that for now and we might crush our expectations because there might be

expectations because there might be

expectations because there might be unreasonable or we’re so far apart in

unreasonable or we’re so far apart in

unreasonable or we’re so far apart in our thinking that we need to put it back

our thinking that we need to put it back

our thinking that we need to put it back together again in each of these

together again in each of these

together again in each of these scenarios though we have to remember

scenarios though we have to remember

scenarios though we have to remember it’s about us not I not you it’s us and

it’s about us not I not you it’s us and

it’s about us not I not you it’s us and it’s imperative that you think about how

it’s imperative that you think about how

it’s imperative that you think about how do we both want to feel when we walk

do we both want to feel when we walk

do we both want to feel when we walk away from those conversations the most

away from those conversations the most

away from those conversations the most important thing in all of these

important thing in all of these

important thing in all of these conversations really is that we stop

conversations really is that we stop

conversations really is that we stop collaborate and listen because ice is a

collaborate and listen because ice is a

collaborate and listen because ice is a really easy tool that we can use to

really easy tool that we can use to

really easy tool that we can use to mutually manage students and Shooter

mutually manage students and Shooter

mutually manage students and Shooter expectations and share our thoughts and

expectations and share our thoughts and

expectations and share our thoughts and decision-making processes and

decision-making processes and

decision-making processes and importantly it doesn’t need to be the

importantly it doesn’t need to be the

importantly it doesn’t need to be the tutor that starts these conversations so

tutor that starts these conversations so

tutor that starts these conversations so for those of you who remembered or

for those of you who remembered or

for those of you who remembered or keeping track there are 12 intentional

keeping track there are 12 intentional

keeping track there are 12 intentional cultural references in this talk but

cultural references in this talk but

cultural references in this talk but really what you want to remember is how

really what you want to remember is how

really what you want to remember is how would you like your ice shaken or

would you like your ice shaken or

would you like your ice shaken or stirred

stirred

stirred [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]