I am a survivor of extreme adolescent bullying I’ve been
of extreme adolescent bullying I’ve been
of extreme adolescent bullying I’ve been shoved in lockers beat up in bathrooms
shoved in lockers beat up in bathrooms
shoved in lockers beat up in bathrooms I’ve had drugs planted on me weapons put
I’ve had drugs planted on me weapons put
I’ve had drugs planted on me weapons put to my throat I’ve been through
to my throat I’ve been through
to my throat I’ve been through name-calling digital abuse social media
name-calling digital abuse social media
name-calling digital abuse social media hack I’ve been pantsed spit on ridiculed
hack I’ve been pantsed spit on ridiculed
hack I’ve been pantsed spit on ridiculed and completely isolated anything you can
and completely isolated anything you can
and completely isolated anything you can possibly think of I most likely have
possibly think of I most likely have
possibly think of I most likely have been through it now I don’t want you to
been through it now I don’t want you to
been through it now I don’t want you to feel sorry for me
feel sorry for me
feel sorry for me I don’t want your sympathy and frankly
I don’t want your sympathy and frankly
I don’t want your sympathy and frankly no one who’s gone through readiness does
no one who’s gone through readiness does
no one who’s gone through readiness does research into why people bully finds
research into why people bully finds
research into why people bully finds that bullies are often directing pain
that bullies are often directing pain
that bullies are often directing pain frustrations or anger this can stem from
frustrations or anger this can stem from
frustrations or anger this can stem from a lack of attention from friends their
a lack of attention from friends their
a lack of attention from friends their teachers or their parents some kids are
teachers or their parents some kids are
teachers or their parents some kids are insecure and feel the need to bully so
insecure and feel the need to bully so
insecure and feel the need to bully so they can be seen as tough for cool or in
they can be seen as tough for cool or in
they can be seen as tough for cool or in charge some kids have learned to bully
charge some kids have learned to bully
charge some kids have learned to bully from others they’ve seen their parents
from others they’ve seen their parents
from others they’ve seen their parents or their siblings or their friends
or their siblings or their friends
or their siblings or their friends getting their way by being angry and
getting their way by being angry and
getting their way by being angry and aggressive and they believe that by
aggressive and they believe that by
aggressive and they believe that by doing the same they will get the same
doing the same they will get the same
doing the same they will get the same but not surprisingly most bullies
but not surprisingly most bullies
but not surprisingly most bullies actually bully because they’re a victim
actually bully because they’re a victim
actually bully because they’re a victim themselves if my bullies had stopped to
themselves if my bullies had stopped to
themselves if my bullies had stopped to reflect on their actions if they had
reflect on their actions if they had
reflect on their actions if they had thought about them and they would come
thought about them and they would come
thought about them and they would come to realize that their actions stem from
to realize that their actions stem from
to realize that their actions stem from pain frustration and the feeling of
pain frustration and the feeling of
pain frustration and the feeling of hopelessness but sadly this thought is a
hopelessness but sadly this thought is a
hopelessness but sadly this thought is a rare occurrence because it’s so much
rare occurrence because it’s so much
rare occurrence because it’s so much easier to suppress this pain than it is
easier to suppress this pain than it is
easier to suppress this pain than it is to live with it the anxiety fear in
to live with it the anxiety fear in
to live with it the anxiety fear in trauma that I still suffer from today as
trauma that I still suffer from today as
trauma that I still suffer from today as a result of the bullies of my childhood
a result of the bullies of my childhood
a result of the bullies of my childhood is a direct result of thoughtless action
is a direct result of thoughtless action
is a direct result of thoughtless action because my bullies weren’t running to
because my bullies weren’t running to
because my bullies weren’t running to hurt me they were running from
hurt me they were running from
hurt me they were running from themselves I’m lucky I’m here today
themselves I’m lucky I’m here today
themselves I’m lucky I’m here today that’s why I don’t want your sympathy
that’s why I don’t want your sympathy
that’s why I don’t want your sympathy many victims of bullying don’t live to
many victims of bullying don’t live to
many victims of bullying don’t live to see things get better victims of
see things get better victims of
see things get better victims of bullying are 9 times more likely to
bullying are 9 times more likely to
bullying are 9 times more likely to commit suicide than their peers
commit suicide than their peers
commit suicide than their peers this results in 4,400 deaths a year out
this results in 4,400 deaths a year out
this results in 4,400 deaths a year out of 440 thousand attempts nationwide 14
of 440 thousand attempts nationwide 14
of 440 thousand attempts nationwide 14 percent of high school students report
percent of high school students report
percent of high school students report considering suicide and 7% attempted a
considering suicide and 7% attempted a
considering suicide and 7% attempted a hundred and sixty thousand kids stay
hundred and sixty thousand kids stay
hundred and sixty thousand kids stay home from school out of a direct fear of
home from school out of a direct fear of
home from school out of a direct fear of being bullied every single day in order
being bullied every single day in order
being bullied every single day in order for bullies to recognize the
for bullies to recognize the
for bullies to recognize the consequences of their actions and for
consequences of their actions and for
consequences of their actions and for victims to recognize their self-worth
victims to recognize their self-worth
victims to recognize their self-worth reflection is key growing up I’d find
reflection is key growing up I’d find
reflection is key growing up I’d find myself sitting face to face with my
myself sitting face to face with my
myself sitting face to face with my bullies in the administrative office and
bullies in the administrative office and
bullies in the administrative office and I’d hear the principal or the guidance
I’d hear the principal or the guidance
I’d hear the principal or the guidance counselor asked them why they did what
counselor asked them why they did what
counselor asked them why they did what they did to me and every time the answer
they did to me and every time the answer
they did to me and every time the answer would be I don’t know I just felt like
would be I don’t know I just felt like
would be I don’t know I just felt like it I don’t know I just felt like it
we find that bullies don’t bully because
we find that bullies don’t bully because they don’t like you or because they
they don’t like you or because they
they don’t like you or because they think that you’re different or because
think that you’re different or because
think that you’re different or because you’re shy and we don’t find that they
you’re shy and we don’t find that they
you’re shy and we don’t find that they bully because they feel like it we find
bully because they feel like it we find
bully because they feel like it we find that bullies bully because they aren’t
that bullies bully because they aren’t
that bullies bully because they aren’t able to reflect on their actions they
able to reflect on their actions they
able to reflect on their actions they aren’t able to interpret their thoughts
aren’t able to interpret their thoughts
aren’t able to interpret their thoughts so they run from them when it comes to
so they run from them when it comes to
so they run from them when it comes to bullying I hate the term survivor I hate
bullying I hate the term survivor I hate
bullying I hate the term survivor I hate it because it highlights a fundamental
it because it highlights a fundamental
it because it highlights a fundamental flaw in the thousands of anti-bullying
flaw in the thousands of anti-bullying
flaw in the thousands of anti-bullying campaigns in our world today why are we
campaigns in our world today why are we
campaigns in our world today why are we teaching kids how to survive being
teaching kids how to survive being
teaching kids how to survive being bullied
bullied
bullied why are we teaching them to live with it
why are we teaching them to live with it
why are we teaching them to live with it and furthermore why are we teaching
and furthermore why are we teaching
and furthermore why are we teaching bullies that it’s okay to bully other
bullies that it’s okay to bully other
bullies that it’s okay to bully other students many anti-bullying campaigns
students many anti-bullying campaigns
students many anti-bullying campaigns today are built on a foundation called
today are built on a foundation called
today are built on a foundation called victim advocacy this means that their
victim advocacy this means that their
victim advocacy this means that their main focus is to stand up for these
main focus is to stand up for these
main focus is to stand up for these victims and to speak what they can’t say
victims and to speak what they can’t say
victims and to speak what they can’t say themselves and don’t get me wrong well
themselves and don’t get me wrong well
themselves and don’t get me wrong well this is good in nature and great and
this is good in nature and great and
this is good in nature and great and thought these campaigns are completely
thought these campaigns are completely
thought these campaigns are completely missing the point by teaching these
missing the point by teaching these
missing the point by teaching these children that their victims and that
children that their victims and that
children that their victims and that they should stay down and remain quiet
they should stay down and remain quiet
they should stay down and remain quiet and wait for someone else to intervene
and wait for someone else to intervene
and wait for someone else to intervene it forces them to show themselves away
it forces them to show themselves away
it forces them to show themselves away it inhibits them to grow and it causes
it inhibits them to grow and it causes
it inhibits them to grow and it causes them to go back to their rooms and to
them to go back to their rooms and to
them to go back to their rooms and to lock themselves away and to wait for
lock themselves away and to wait for
lock themselves away and to wait for something that’s never going to come
something that’s never going to come
something that’s never going to come I didn’t survive my bullies I’ll be as
I didn’t survive my bullies I’ll be as
I didn’t survive my bullies I’ll be as clear as day lights with you guys on
clear as day lights with you guys on
clear as day lights with you guys on that one but I did however manage to
that one but I did however manage to
that one but I did however manage to overcome them I overcame my bullies by
overcome them I overcame my bullies by
overcome them I overcame my bullies by realizing that much the same as my
realizing that much the same as my
realizing that much the same as my bullies I wasn’t putting any thought
bullies I wasn’t putting any thought
bullies I wasn’t putting any thought into my actions as well
I wasn’t reflecting on my feelings and I
I wasn’t reflecting on my feelings and I wasn’t thinking about my actions and I
wasn’t thinking about my actions and I
wasn’t thinking about my actions and I wasn’t putting a connection in between
wasn’t putting a connection in between
wasn’t putting a connection in between them and so I overcame my bullies by
them and so I overcame my bullies by
them and so I overcame my bullies by thinking about myself and trying to
thinking about myself and trying to
thinking about myself and trying to think about the things that I was doing
think about the things that I was doing
think about the things that I was doing and about the feelings and about the
and about the feelings and about the
and about the feelings and about the emotions that I was having and I tried
emotions that I was having and I tried
emotions that I was having and I tried to build connections between them I also
to build connections between them I also
to build connections between them I also overcame my bullies by working to
overcame my bullies by working to
overcame my bullies by working to identify role models the people who I
identify role models the people who I
identify role models the people who I could look up to and the people who I
could look up to and the people who I
could look up to and the people who I could try to emulate the people who
could try to emulate the people who
could try to emulate the people who could teach me the things that I
could teach me the things that I
could teach me the things that I couldn’t learn myself and I also
couldn’t learn myself and I also
couldn’t learn myself and I also overcame my bullies by thinking about my
overcame my bullies by thinking about my
overcame my bullies by thinking about my beliefs by thinking about their lives
beliefs by thinking about their lives
beliefs by thinking about their lives and their circumstances by trying to
and their circumstances by trying to
and their circumstances by trying to understand their situations by trying to
understand their situations by trying to
understand their situations by trying to understand them and soon enough after
understand them and soon enough after
understand them and soon enough after detailed reflection into my own thoughts
detailed reflection into my own thoughts
detailed reflection into my own thoughts and my own actions and and into who I
and my own actions and and into who I
and my own actions and and into who I was I started to transform unconsciously
was I started to transform unconsciously
was I started to transform unconsciously at first but then turning into
at first but then turning into
at first but then turning into deliberate I began to stand up for
deliberate I began to stand up for
deliberate I began to stand up for myself and to realize that the things
myself and to realize that the things
myself and to realize that the things that were happening to me weren’t right
that were happening to me weren’t right
that were happening to me weren’t right and they weren’t justifiable and they
and they weren’t justifiable and they
and they weren’t justifiable and they didn’t carry a meaning I learned that
didn’t carry a meaning I learned that
didn’t carry a meaning I learned that this bullying this action without
this bullying this action without
this bullying this action without thought only carries a meaning with it
thought only carries a meaning with it
thought only carries a meaning with it if you let it and so if we can work
if you let it and so if we can work
if you let it and so if we can work towards teaching our children this about
towards teaching our children this about
towards teaching our children this about the things that I was able to discover
the things that I was able to discover
the things that I was able to discover on my own if we can work towards giving
on my own if we can work towards giving
on my own if we can work towards giving them a better understanding of who they
them a better understanding of who they
them a better understanding of who they are as well as where they fit in with
are as well as where they fit in with
are as well as where they fit in with others and as who others are then we’ll
others and as who others are then we’ll
others and as who others are then we’ll be able to foster an environment where
be able to foster an environment where
be able to foster an environment where constructive rather than corrective
constructive rather than corrective
constructive rather than corrective discussions are taking place by opening
discussions are taking place by opening
discussions are taking place by opening these kids minds and to who they are and
these kids minds and to who they are and
these kids minds and to who they are and to who they see themselves as and to
to who they see themselves as and to
to who they see themselves as and to where they want to see themselves become
where they want to see themselves become
where they want to see themselves become it’ll create an environment where these
it’ll create an environment where these
it’ll create an environment where these kids don’t see indeed the bully where
kids don’t see indeed the bully where
kids don’t see indeed the bully where the thought of bullying doesn’t make
the thought of bullying doesn’t make
the thought of bullying doesn’t make sense where the idea of harassing
sense where the idea of harassing
sense where the idea of harassing someone just because doesn’t hold any
someone just because doesn’t hold any
someone just because doesn’t hold any value
so if we can put thought to our actions
so if we can put thought to our actions that we can stop and we can identify the
that we can stop and we can identify the
that we can stop and we can identify the qualities about ourselves that create
qualities about ourselves that create
qualities about ourselves that create the best image of ourselves that we want
the best image of ourselves that we want
the best image of ourselves that we want to see and if we can drop this
to see and if we can drop this
to see and if we can drop this negativity and this thoughtlessness from
negativity and this thoughtlessness from
negativity and this thoughtlessness from our lives then we can roll out of
our lives then we can roll out of
our lives then we can roll out of whatever situation we find ourselves in
whatever situation we find ourselves in
whatever situation we find ourselves in what I learned is that the biggest bully
what I learned is that the biggest bully
what I learned is that the biggest bully that anyone will ever face in their
that anyone will ever face in their
that anyone will ever face in their entire lives is themselves the only
entire lives is themselves the only
entire lives is themselves the only person that’s stopping us from adding a
person that’s stopping us from adding a
person that’s stopping us from adding a meaning to all of this – putting a
meaning to all of this – putting a
meaning to all of this – putting a thought behind our actions is ourselves
thought behind our actions is ourselves
thought behind our actions is ourselves and so I challenge you I challenge you
and so I challenge you I challenge you
and so I challenge you I challenge you to reflect I challenge you to reflect on
to reflect I challenge you to reflect on
to reflect I challenge you to reflect on yourselves
yourselves
yourselves as well as others and I challenge you to
as well as others and I challenge you to
as well as others and I challenge you to search for a meaning behind your actions
search for a meaning behind your actions
search for a meaning behind your actions and when you find it I challenge you to
and when you find it I challenge you to
and when you find it I challenge you to act on that meaning thank you
act on that meaning thank you
act on that meaning thank you [Applause]
”
Be First to Comment