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How to Perceive Failure in Life | Pratik Patel | TEDxNSU


good afternoon everyone when I was a kid

good afternoon everyone when I was a kid my parents took me to the circus several

my parents took me to the circus several

my parents took me to the circus several times I loved animals performing there

times I loved animals performing there

times I loved animals performing there dancing to the music and performing

dancing to the music and performing

dancing to the music and performing various them amongst all the animals my

various them amongst all the animals my

various them amongst all the animals my favorite was the elephant elephants had

favorite was the elephant elephants had

favorite was the elephant elephants had considered as one of the strongest

considered as one of the strongest

considered as one of the strongest animals on the planet yet it was strange

animals on the planet yet it was strange

animals on the planet yet it was strange to see these huge creatures held by a

to see these huge creatures held by a

to see these huge creatures held by a small rope tied to their front leg that

small rope tied to their front leg that

small rope tied to their front leg that they could easily break it was obvious

they could easily break it was obvious

they could easily break it was obvious that elephants could at any time break

that elephants could at any time break

that elephants could at any time break away from the bonds they were tied to

away from the bonds they were tied to

away from the bonds they were tied to but for some reason they did not being

but for some reason they did not being

but for some reason they did not being surprised of this thought I asked the

surprised of this thought I asked the

surprised of this thought I asked the trainer how was this even possible he

trainer how was this even possible he

trainer how was this even possible he said this is because the elephants have

said this is because the elephants have

said this is because the elephants have been conditioned since childhood they

been conditioned since childhood they

been conditioned since childhood they have been conditioned to the use of

have been conditioned to the use of

have been conditioned to the use of heavy metals and chains which were

heavy metals and chains which were

heavy metals and chains which were impossible to break at that time in

impossible to break at that time in

impossible to break at that time in their life as they grew up they develop

their life as they grew up they develop

their life as they grew up they develop strength but they also develop a fixed

strength but they also develop a fixed

strength but they also develop a fixed mindset to be that they cannot break

mindset to be that they cannot break

mindset to be that they cannot break away and that associates them with their

away and that associates them with their

away and that associates them with their limits freedom and boundary they believe

limits freedom and boundary they believe

limits freedom and boundary they believe that the rope can still hold them so

that the rope can still hold them so

that the rope can still hold them so they never really track from Brennan

they never really track from Brennan

they never really track from Brennan only a rope is necessary to keep them

only a rope is necessary to keep them

only a rope is necessary to keep them from breaking bonds and realizing that

from breaking bonds and realizing that

from breaking bonds and realizing that restrain folks you do realize that I’m

restrain folks you do realize that I’m

restrain folks you do realize that I’m not talking about elephants at all don’t

not talking about elephants at all don’t

not talking about elephants at all don’t you how many of us go through the life

you how many of us go through the life

you how many of us go through the life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do

hanging onto a belief that we cannot do

hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something simply because we fail at it

something simply because we fail at it

something simply because we fail at it once we do not try just because we have

once we do not try just because we have

once we do not try just because we have a fixed mindset about certain things I

a fixed mindset about certain things I

a fixed mindset about certain things I want you to think of the word failure

want you to think of the word failure

want you to think of the word failure and go with the feeling that comes up

and go with the feeling that comes up

and go with the feeling that comes up when I think of it I feel tightness

when I think of it I feel tightness

when I think of it I feel tightness discomfort and pain it’s not pleasant

discomfort and pain it’s not pleasant

discomfort and pain it’s not pleasant but why do we feel this way the answer

but why do we feel this way the answer

but why do we feel this way the answer is our brains are wired to respond that

is our brains are wired to respond that

is our brains are wired to respond that way when scientists placed people in the

way when scientists placed people in the

way when scientists placed people in the functional MRI machine and asked them to

functional MRI machine and asked them to

functional MRI machine and asked them to recall a failure they discard something

recall a failure they discard something

recall a failure they discard something amazing

amazing

amazing they discovered that when we experience

they discovered that when we experience

they discovered that when we experience failure the same ideas of our brain gets

failure the same ideas of our brain gets

failure the same ideas of our brain gets activated as when we experience of

activated as when we experience of

activated as when we experience of physical pain that’s why even a small

physical pain that’s why even a small

physical pain that’s why even a small failure hurt so much when we think it

failure hurt so much when we think it

failure hurt so much when we think it should not because it causes an

should not because it causes an

should not because it causes an emotional pain however when we fear

emotional pain however when we fear

emotional pain however when we fear failure deep inside we know the reason

failure deep inside we know the reason

failure deep inside we know the reason behind our peer for the failure and

behind our peer for the failure and

behind our peer for the failure and hence we avoid confrontation by

hence we avoid confrontation by

hence we avoid confrontation by diverting thoughts to some new place

diverting thoughts to some new place

diverting thoughts to some new place fear of failure can actually be the best

fear of failure can actually be the best

fear of failure can actually be the best thing that one can experience because it

thing that one can experience because it

thing that one can experience because it often points us to the areas we need to

often points us to the areas we need to

often points us to the areas we need to investigate more closely fear itself

investigate more closely fear itself

investigate more closely fear itself isn’t a problem our reaction to our own

isn’t a problem our reaction to our own

isn’t a problem our reaction to our own fears is the issue it is the response to

fears is the issue it is the response to

fears is the issue it is the response to the failure that actually helps to

the failure that actually helps to

the failure that actually helps to buffer the setbacks you have experienced

buffer the setbacks you have experienced

buffer the setbacks you have experienced in life so I believe that the true path

in life so I believe that the true path

in life so I believe that the true path to success is through the fear of

to success is through the fear of

to success is through the fear of failure if you are not scared enough of

failure if you are not scared enough of

failure if you are not scared enough of failing you are unlikely to succeed and

failing you are unlikely to succeed and

failing you are unlikely to succeed and when I say success I only mean things

when I say success I only mean things

when I say success I only mean things that fall in places nothing else what

that fall in places nothing else what

that fall in places nothing else what ever happened to me was because I have

ever happened to me was because I have

ever happened to me was because I have always been petrified of failure in

always been petrified of failure in

always been petrified of failure in making fear of failure arrival we missed

making fear of failure arrival we missed

making fear of failure arrival we missed the challenge of perceiving the message

the challenge of perceiving the message

the challenge of perceiving the message that is being sent to us so I chose to

that is being sent to us so I chose to

that is being sent to us so I chose to make it an alert and gain so much out of

make it an alert and gain so much out of

make it an alert and gain so much out of it

it

it I feared public speaking so I

I feared public speaking so I

I feared public speaking so I investigated the reason behind it worked

investigated the reason behind it worked

investigated the reason behind it worked on the things that I liked even refused

on the things that I liked even refused

on the things that I liked even refused to think thoughts which created

to think thoughts which created

to think thoughts which created self-doubt and low confidence in me

self-doubt and low confidence in me

self-doubt and low confidence in me later on I started participating in

later on I started participating in

later on I started participating in public speaking events to conquer my

public speaking events to conquer my

public speaking events to conquer my fear of public speaking and as a result

fear of public speaking and as a result

fear of public speaking and as a result I earned around 85 words and

I earned around 85 words and

I earned around 85 words and certificates for public speaking group

certificates for public speaking group

certificates for public speaking group discussion debates and various of their

discussion debates and various of their

discussion debates and various of their competition

competition

competition I feared failing my engineering classes

I feared failing my engineering classes

I feared failing my engineering classes so I investigated the reason behind it

so I investigated the reason behind it

so I investigated the reason behind it I’ve worked as hard as I could manage my

I’ve worked as hard as I could manage my

I’ve worked as hard as I could manage my time efficiently understood the logic

time efficiently understood the logic

time efficiently understood the logic behind the theories and as a result I

behind the theories and as a result I

behind the theories and as a result I graduated in the top 10% of my class

graduated in the top 10% of my class

graduated in the top 10% of my class from this X

from this X

from this X I insist I learned that it is better to

I insist I learned that it is better to

I insist I learned that it is better to have a growth mindset rather than having

have a growth mindset rather than having

have a growth mindset rather than having a fixed mindset terms described by

a fixed mindset terms described by

a fixed mindset terms described by Stanford University psychologist dr.

Stanford University psychologist dr.

Stanford University psychologist dr. Carol Dweck dr. to access that people in

Carol Dweck dr. to access that people in

Carol Dweck dr. to access that people in the fixed mindset believe that they are

the fixed mindset believe that they are

the fixed mindset believe that they are good at some things and they are bad at

good at some things and they are bad at

good at some things and they are bad at something based on that inherent nature

something based on that inherent nature

something based on that inherent nature because it’s just who they are on the

because it’s just who they are on the

because it’s just who they are on the contrary people in the growth mindset

contrary people in the growth mindset

contrary people in the growth mindset believe that anyone could be good at

believe that anyone could be good at

believe that anyone could be good at anything because their abilities are

anything because their abilities are

anything because their abilities are entirely due to directions I embrace

entirely due to directions I embrace

entirely due to directions I embrace this distinction so I learned to have a

this distinction so I learned to have a

this distinction so I learned to have a different mindset I learned from my

different mindset I learned from my

different mindset I learned from my flaws my mistake people’s mistakes and

flaws my mistake people’s mistakes and

flaws my mistake people’s mistakes and of course the elephants not being

of course the elephants not being

of course the elephants not being pompous but I succeeded in almost

pompous but I succeeded in almost

pompous but I succeeded in almost everything I did in my college earth and

everything I did in my college earth and

everything I did in my college earth and that boosted my confidence level

that boosted my confidence level

that boosted my confidence level after engineering I joined my father’s

after engineering I joined my father’s

after engineering I joined my father’s firm as a marketing executive with the

firm as a marketing executive with the

firm as a marketing executive with the hope to succeed in this one too but I

hope to succeed in this one too but I

hope to succeed in this one too but I failed even though I believe that I had

failed even though I believe that I had

failed even though I believe that I had essential skills to sell the products I

essential skills to sell the products I

essential skills to sell the products I fail next time with a growth mindset in

fail next time with a growth mindset in

fail next time with a growth mindset in place I investigated more closely work

place I investigated more closely work

place I investigated more closely work as hard as I could even encouraged to

as hard as I could even encouraged to

as hard as I could even encouraged to think thoughts about the positive

think thoughts about the positive

think thoughts about the positive outcomes and tried again and the result

outcomes and tried again and the result

outcomes and tried again and the result was I failed again

was I failed again

was I failed again right for eight long months but I failed

right for eight long months but I failed

right for eight long months but I failed repeatedly meanwhile our company was

repeatedly meanwhile our company was

repeatedly meanwhile our company was doing well other marketing executives

doing well other marketing executives

doing well other marketing executives and my dad were filing orders for the

and my dad were filing orders for the

and my dad were filing orders for the company and that I was contributing

company and that I was contributing

company and that I was contributing nothing for eight long months unable to

nothing for eight long months unable to

nothing for eight long months unable to sell a single product also I thought

sell a single product also I thought

sell a single product also I thought that I could not just sit and think

that I could not just sit and think

that I could not just sit and think about the problem rather I need to find

about the problem rather I need to find

about the problem rather I need to find a solution to it too so I consulted a

a solution to it too so I consulted a

a solution to it too so I consulted a wise man I know on the planet

wise man I know on the planet

wise man I know on the planet my father there were tears in my eyes my

my father there were tears in my eyes my

my father there were tears in my eyes my confidence was shattered my past

confidence was shattered my past

confidence was shattered my past achievements meant nothing to me I said

achievements meant nothing to me I said

achievements meant nothing to me I said dad I think I’m not capable of selling

dad I think I’m not capable of selling

dad I think I’m not capable of selling products if I cannot sell a single

products if I cannot sell a single

products if I cannot sell a single product how will I be able to run this

product how will I be able to run this

product how will I be able to run this business this Empire you created so

business this Empire you created so

business this Empire you created so successful in future my dad smiled at me

successful in future my dad smiled at me

successful in future my dad smiled at me and said a wonderful thing that changed

and said a wonderful thing that changed

and said a wonderful thing that changed my life completely

my life completely

my life completely he said karmani Avada caressed a

he said karmani Avada caressed a

he said karmani Avada caressed a marvelous yoga dijanna I had the same

marvelous yoga dijanna I had the same

marvelous yoga dijanna I had the same look what you guys are having it right

look what you guys are having it right

look what you guys are having it right now it is one of the seven hundred

now it is one of the seven hundred

now it is one of the seven hundred verses of bhagavad-gita and those who

verses of bhagavad-gita and those who

verses of bhagavad-gita and those who don’t know what bhagavad-gita is it is

don’t know what bhagavad-gita is it is

don’t know what bhagavad-gita is it is an Indian text in Sanskrit language

an Indian text in Sanskrit language

an Indian text in Sanskrit language which has its importance in terms of

which has its importance in terms of

which has its importance in terms of literature and philosophy the meaning of

literature and philosophy the meaning of

literature and philosophy the meaning of that verse means you have the right to

that verse means you have the right to

that verse means you have the right to perform your prescribed duties but you

perform your prescribed duties but you

perform your prescribed duties but you don’t have control over the fruits of

don’t have control over the fruits of

don’t have control over the fruits of your actions he said son we have the

your actions he said son we have the

your actions he said son we have the right on the performance of our duty our

right on the performance of our duty our

right on the performance of our duty our actions it’s under our control but the

actions it’s under our control but the

actions it’s under our control but the results are not merely dependent on our

results are not merely dependent on our

results are not merely dependent on our efforts number of factors come into play

efforts number of factors come into play

efforts number of factors come into play while determining those results our past

while determining those results our past

while determining those results our past karma will of God luck place destiny

karma will of God luck place destiny

karma will of God luck place destiny time etc it’s complicated so just don’t

time etc it’s complicated so just don’t

time etc it’s complicated so just don’t think about the outcomes just act

think about the outcomes just act

think about the outcomes just act without having any desires of outcomes

without having any desires of outcomes

without having any desires of outcomes I was not totally convinced with what he

I was not totally convinced with what he

I was not totally convinced with what he was saying so I asked him that outcomes

was saying so I asked him that outcomes

was saying so I asked him that outcomes that basically driving force motivations

that basically driving force motivations

that basically driving force motivations for our action if I don’t desire to

for our action if I don’t desire to

for our action if I don’t desire to succeed if I don’t desire to have a

succeed if I don’t desire to have a

succeed if I don’t desire to have a positive outcome through my action then

positive outcome through my action then

positive outcome through my action then why should I even act to which he said

why should I even act to which he said

why should I even act to which he said protect the problem is that you have a

protect the problem is that you have a

protect the problem is that you have a result-oriented attitude which is not a

result-oriented attitude which is not a

result-oriented attitude which is not a bad thing but the time when you will be

bad thing but the time when you will be

bad thing but the time when you will be detached from the presume outcomes of

detached from the presume outcomes of

detached from the presume outcomes of your actions is the time you will

your actions is the time you will

your actions is the time you will progress in life a lot of time we view

progress in life a lot of time we view

progress in life a lot of time we view any outcome that does not meet our

any outcome that does not meet our

any outcome that does not meet our expectation to be a failure but we

expectation to be a failure but we

expectation to be a failure but we forget the most important part that is

forget the most important part that is

forget the most important part that is the experience that got us to that

the experience that got us to that

the experience that got us to that outcome so son actions are where all the

outcome so son actions are where all the

outcome so son actions are where all the lessons and growth life results are just

lessons and growth life results are just

lessons and growth life results are just the icing on the cake so it shouldn’t

the icing on the cake so it shouldn’t

the icing on the cake so it shouldn’t matter much I understood what he was

matter much I understood what he was

matter much I understood what he was saying so I trained myself to be what I

saying so I trained myself to be what I

saying so I trained myself to be what I call being de motional emotional about

call being de motional emotional about

call being de motional emotional about the things I do but detached from the

the things I do but detached from the

the things I do but detached from the outcomes of it that’s what being the

outcomes of it that’s what being the

outcomes of it that’s what being the emotional is

emotional is

emotional is whatever I did I did it with my full

whatever I did I did it with my full

whatever I did I did it with my full dedication perseverance positive

dedication perseverance positive

dedication perseverance positive attitude and with passion but at the

attitude and with passion but at the

attitude and with passion but at the same time I was detached from the

same time I was detached from the

same time I was detached from the outcomes of it if I had a good outcome I

outcomes of it if I had a good outcome I

outcomes of it if I had a good outcome I use that for my well-being if I had a

use that for my well-being if I had a

use that for my well-being if I had a bad outcome I used that for my

bad outcome I used that for my

bad outcome I used that for my well-being I perceived that the things

well-being I perceived that the things

well-being I perceived that the things that go right that is in which you

that go right that is in which you

that go right that is in which you succeed have a life of its own and they

succeed have a life of its own and they

succeed have a life of its own and they take care of themselves

take care of themselves

take care of themselves but the things that go wrong should

but the things that go wrong should

but the things that go wrong should never ever be forgotten I perceived that

never ever be forgotten I perceived that

never ever be forgotten I perceived that success is a wonderful thing

success is a wonderful thing

success is a wonderful thing we enjoyed perhaps we even deserve it

we enjoyed perhaps we even deserve it

we enjoyed perhaps we even deserve it but success is a bad teacher

but success is a bad teacher

but success is a bad teacher we neither learn anything from it nor

we neither learn anything from it nor

we neither learn anything from it nor acquire wisdom from it whereas failure

acquire wisdom from it whereas failure

acquire wisdom from it whereas failure failure is a fantastic teacher it always

failure is a fantastic teacher it always

failure is a fantastic teacher it always teaches you something or the other maybe

teaches you something or the other maybe

teaches you something or the other maybe this wasn’t meant to be maybe I need to

this wasn’t meant to be maybe I need to

this wasn’t meant to be maybe I need to work harder maybe my best was not good

work harder maybe my best was not good

work harder maybe my best was not good enough it always teaches you something

enough it always teaches you something

enough it always teaches you something or the other

or the other

or the other in my case repeated failure taught me

in my case repeated failure taught me

in my case repeated failure taught me that I am not invincible

that I am not invincible

that I am not invincible I guess this acquired wisdom was the

I guess this acquired wisdom was the

I guess this acquired wisdom was the reason which led to 23 percent increase

reason which led to 23 percent increase

reason which led to 23 percent increase in the sales next year for my company

in the sales next year for my company

in the sales next year for my company and the sole credit goes to the sage on

and the sole credit goes to the sage on

and the sole credit goes to the sage on the stage how’s that for being pompous

in our Indian Hindu mythology it is said

in our Indian Hindu mythology it is said that the person’s life journey starts

that the person’s life journey starts

that the person’s life journey starts with his birth and ends with his death

with his birth and ends with his death

with his birth and ends with his death death our ultimate destination success

death our ultimate destination success

death our ultimate destination success and failure are just the stepping stones

and failure are just the stepping stones

and failure are just the stepping stones in that journey the one who sees simple

in that journey the one who sees simple

in that journey the one who sees simple events of life itself as a goal of life

events of life itself as a goal of life

events of life itself as a goal of life for them there is failure and success

for them there is failure and success

for them there is failure and success but the one who sees simple events of

but the one who sees simple events of

but the one who sees simple events of life just as a stepping stone for their

life just as a stepping stone for their

life just as a stepping stone for their ultimate destination for them there is

ultimate destination for them there is

ultimate destination for them there is no failure or success the most horrific

no failure or success the most horrific

no failure or success the most horrific event happened in your life can also be

event happened in your life can also be

event happened in your life can also be used for your welfare if you perceive

used for your welfare if you perceive

used for your welfare if you perceive the outcomes of small events in the

the outcomes of small events in the

the outcomes of small events in the right way

right way

right way and when I say small events

and when I say small events

and when I say small events I mean your academics courier marriage

I mean your academics courier marriage

I mean your academics courier marriage children all those big things to ideas

children all those big things to ideas

children all those big things to ideas were sharing through the stock our first

were sharing through the stock our first

were sharing through the stock our first try to be devotional in life second

try to be devotional in life second

try to be devotional in life second never ever try to be like an elephant

never ever try to be like an elephant

never ever try to be like an elephant with a fixed mindset to wrap it up I

with a fixed mindset to wrap it up I

with a fixed mindset to wrap it up I would like to say it is impossible to

would like to say it is impossible to

would like to say it is impossible to fail completely and it is also

fail completely and it is also

fail completely and it is also impossible to succeed perfectly but it

impossible to succeed perfectly but it

impossible to succeed perfectly but it is always possible to perform

is always possible to perform

is always possible to perform dedicatedly hence only by controlling

dedicatedly hence only by controlling

dedicatedly hence only by controlling emotion and dropping negativity one can

emotion and dropping negativity one can

emotion and dropping negativity one can perceive failure and acquire wisdom from

perceive failure and acquire wisdom from

perceive failure and acquire wisdom from it thank you

it thank you

it thank you [Applause]

”

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