now we are all interested in enhancing our success joy and peace the natural
our success joy and peace the natural
our success joy and peace the natural draw of success joy and peace or s JP as
draw of success joy and peace or s JP as
draw of success joy and peace or s JP as I call it has an effortless pull merely
I call it has an effortless pull merely
I call it has an effortless pull merely thinking about success joy and peace
thinking about success joy and peace
thinking about success joy and peace makes you so full and so happy
makes you so full and so happy
makes you so full and so happy probing Minds usually rest when in a
probing Minds usually rest when in a
probing Minds usually rest when in a joyful or peaceful or have achieved some
joyful or peaceful or have achieved some
joyful or peaceful or have achieved some success during the day success for a
success during the day success for a
success during the day success for a student as many of you over here are
student as many of you over here are
student as many of you over here are could be simply getting more marks in
could be simply getting more marks in
could be simply getting more marks in your next exam or getting a job of your
your next exam or getting a job of your
your next exam or getting a job of your own choice joy for somebody could be as
own choice joy for somebody could be as
own choice joy for somebody could be as simple as visiting an amusement park or
simple as visiting an amusement park or
simple as visiting an amusement park or eating delectable food or in my case
eating delectable food or in my case
eating delectable food or in my case just watching my favorite football team
just watching my favorite football team
just watching my favorite football team play every weekend and hopefully win
play every weekend and hopefully win
play every weekend and hopefully win peace for people for some people rather
peace for people for some people rather
peace for people for some people rather is to follow some faith
is to follow some faith
is to follow some faith now the most common notion behind this
now the most common notion behind this
now the most common notion behind this is that to achieve any of the SJP as i
is that to achieve any of the SJP as i
is that to achieve any of the SJP as i call it
call it
call it you only need to focus on yourselves now
you only need to focus on yourselves now
you only need to focus on yourselves now by the way I am no philosopher saint or
by the way I am no philosopher saint or
by the way I am no philosopher saint or yogi nor do I look like one and I
yogi nor do I look like one and I
yogi nor do I look like one and I haven’t come here to transform your way
haven’t come here to transform your way
haven’t come here to transform your way of life and neither have I come here to
of life and neither have I come here to
of life and neither have I come here to make you into a super student talking of
make you into a super student talking of
make you into a super student talking of student to super students do you guys
student to super students do you guys
student to super students do you guys know who a super student really is well
know who a super student really is well
know who a super student really is well I know you guys know but you’re not
I know you guys know but you’re not
I know you guys know but you’re not going to tell me anyway so I’m gonna
going to tell me anyway so I’m gonna
going to tell me anyway so I’m gonna explain it to you all these years in all
explain it to you all these years in all
explain it to you all these years in all these classes you’ve kept nodding your
these classes you’ve kept nodding your
these classes you’ve kept nodding your head in unison sometimes out of Meeks
head in unison sometimes out of Meeks
head in unison sometimes out of Meeks the mission sometimes out of plane
the mission sometimes out of plane
the mission sometimes out of plane boredom and perhaps more often than out
boredom and perhaps more often than out
boredom and perhaps more often than out because you didn’t know what else to do
because you didn’t know what else to do
because you didn’t know what else to do yes you were super students for your
yes you were super students for your
yes you were super students for your teachers and now before you nod your
teachers and now before you nod your
teachers and now before you nod your head an agreement to what I am saying
head an agreement to what I am saying
head an agreement to what I am saying I’m gonna take a pause and ask you a
I’m gonna take a pause and ask you a
I’m gonna take a pause and ask you a very simple question
very simple question
very simple question how many of you sitting here believe
how many of you sitting here believe
how many of you sitting here believe that the person sitting right next to
that the person sitting right next to
that the person sitting right next to you or perhaps in the row behind you can
you or perhaps in the row behind you can
you or perhaps in the row behind you can enhance your success joy or peace just a
enhance your success joy or peace just a
enhance your success joy or peace just a raise of hand would get me an estimation
that’s about thirty percent in the room
that’s about thirty percent in the room and I think you’re raising your hands
and I think you’re raising your hands
and I think you’re raising your hands because the person sitting next to you
because the person sitting next to you
because the person sitting next to you did so well no harm no foul I wouldn’t
did so well no harm no foul I wouldn’t
did so well no harm no foul I wouldn’t have raised mine how do you ask me this
have raised mine how do you ask me this
have raised mine how do you ask me this three years ago now the strong and the
three years ago now the strong and the
three years ago now the strong and the most common notion is that to achieve
most common notion is that to achieve
most common notion is that to achieve success joy or peace you only need to
success joy or peace you only need to
success joy or peace you only need to focus on yourselves
focus on yourselves
focus on yourselves but the opposite couldn’t be sure the
but the opposite couldn’t be sure the
but the opposite couldn’t be sure the role that other individuals play in our
role that other individuals play in our
role that other individuals play in our success your joy and your peace is
success your joy and your peace is
success your joy and your peace is shockingly very high while you guys will
shockingly very high while you guys will
shockingly very high while you guys will agree that it is a positive correlation
agree that it is a positive correlation
agree that it is a positive correlation between your efforts and your success
between your efforts and your success
between your efforts and your success joy and peace there is an even stronger
joy and peace there is an even stronger
joy and peace there is an even stronger positive correlation between other
positive correlation between other
positive correlation between other efforts or others contribution towards
efforts or others contribution towards
efforts or others contribution towards you and your success joy and peace let
you and your success joy and peace let
you and your success joy and peace let me give you a simple example since most
me give you a simple example since most
me give you a simple example since most of you out here students you would be
of you out here students you would be
of you out here students you would be having a forthcoming exam now your
having a forthcoming exam now your
having a forthcoming exam now your chances of scoring more marks will be a
chances of scoring more marks will be a
chances of scoring more marks will be a lot more if you have the positive
lot more if you have the positive
lot more if you have the positive contribution from your teachers and your
contribution from your teachers and your
contribution from your teachers and your peers now let’s continue this chain of
peers now let’s continue this chain of
peers now let’s continue this chain of thought individuals can only contribute
thought individuals can only contribute
thought individuals can only contribute you contribute towards you in three
you contribute towards you in three
you contribute towards you in three simple ways they can either have
simple ways they can either have
simple ways they can either have positive contribution towards you a
positive contribution towards you a
positive contribution towards you a negative contribution towards you or
negative contribution towards you or
negative contribution towards you or they can play the role of a match up the
they can play the role of a match up the
they can play the role of a match up the more positive contribution they have
more positive contribution they have
more positive contribution they have towards you the happier you will be
towards you the happier you will be
towards you the happier you will be and that invariably will bring more
and that invariably will bring more
and that invariably will bring more success more joy and more peace in your
success more joy and more peace in your
success more joy and more peace in your life now I was reading this Harvard case
life now I was reading this Harvard case
life now I was reading this Harvard case study recently it was by the way a
study recently it was by the way a
study recently it was by the way a seventy it the study lost it for 75
seventy it the study lost it for 75
seventy it the study lost it for 75 years long it was based on a series of
years long it was based on a series of
years long it was based on a series of questionnaires live interviews a lot of
questionnaires live interviews a lot of
questionnaires live interviews a lot of studying of medical records and brain
studying of medical records and brain
studying of medical records and brain samples
samples
samples and the study revealed only one simple
and the study revealed only one simple
and the study revealed only one simple thing it said that to be healthier and
thing it said that to be healthier and
thing it said that to be healthier and happier you only need to have good
happier you only need to have good
happier you only need to have good relationships now it is if you ask me
relationships now it is if you ask me
relationships now it is if you ask me not science but common sense outrightly
not science but common sense outrightly
not science but common sense outrightly discounting the existence and influence
discounting the existence and influence
discounting the existence and influence of those around us is only tantamount to
of those around us is only tantamount to
of those around us is only tantamount to Hartman’s one himself
Hartman’s one himself
Hartman’s one himself now let’s delve deeper and understand
now let’s delve deeper and understand
now let’s delve deeper and understand who a human being actually is now as we
who a human being actually is now as we
who a human being actually is now as we all know thanks to Eliot arenson for the
all know thanks to Eliot arenson for the
all know thanks to Eliot arenson for the he’s been saying this for the last
he’s been saying this for the last
he’s been saying this for the last quarter of the 20th century that man is
quarter of the 20th century that man is
quarter of the 20th century that man is a social animal now if you ask me the
a social animal now if you ask me the
a social animal now if you ask me the difference between the Society of an
difference between the Society of an
difference between the Society of an animal and that of the man is that the
animal and that of the man is that the
animal and that of the man is that the animal society is solely based on
animal society is solely based on
animal society is solely based on genetic in ship whereas the human
genetic in ship whereas the human
genetic in ship whereas the human society is based on both cognitive and
society is based on both cognitive and
society is based on both cognitive and motivational mechanisms related to
motivational mechanisms related to
motivational mechanisms related to psychology for us there is strength in
psychology for us there is strength in
psychology for us there is strength in packs and there is exponential wisdom to
packs and there is exponential wisdom to
packs and there is exponential wisdom to human intelligence has only evolved
human intelligence has only evolved
human intelligence has only evolved because of two reasons one collaboration
because of two reasons one collaboration
because of two reasons one collaboration and second social interaction therefore
and second social interaction therefore
and second social interaction therefore relationships are pivotal for our
relationships are pivotal for our
relationships are pivotal for our success joy and peace now most of you
success joy and peace now most of you
success joy and peace now most of you sitting out here would have met so many
sitting out here would have met so many
sitting out here would have met so many successful people but they might not be
successful people but they might not be
successful people but they might not be too joyful or peaceful that is not a
too joyful or peaceful that is not a
too joyful or peaceful that is not a strong SJP now that I’ve spoken so much
strong SJP now that I’ve spoken so much
strong SJP now that I’ve spoken so much on success joy peace and about
on success joy peace and about
on success joy peace and about relationships your probing question in
relationships your probing question in
relationships your probing question in your mind right now could be that fine
your mind right now could be that fine
your mind right now could be that fine you know we we need to increase our
you know we we need to increase our
you know we we need to increase our success our joy than a piece but how do
success our joy than a piece but how do
success our joy than a piece but how do we transform our relationships right
we transform our relationships right
we transform our relationships right away if you ask me I’d say that building
away if you ask me I’d say that building
away if you ask me I’d say that building relationship is actually quite simple
relationship is actually quite simple
relationship is actually quite simple when thought of in a very cogent way you
when thought of in a very cogent way you
when thought of in a very cogent way you simply need to be in a state of
simply need to be in a state of
simply need to be in a state of awareness and let the evident forces
awareness and let the evident forces
awareness and let the evident forces guide the way but more often than not we
guide the way but more often than not we
guide the way but more often than not we are in a flight or fight mode and this
are in a flight or fight mode and this
are in a flight or fight mode and this block-and-tackle cost us preciously the
block-and-tackle cost us preciously the
block-and-tackle cost us preciously the many times you’ve come home and one
many times you’ve come home and one
many times you’ve come home and one why did I say this so why did I
why did I say this so why did I
why did I say this so why did I overreact is the number of times that
overreact is the number of times that
overreact is the number of times that you could have lost out on a
you could have lost out on a
you could have lost out on a relationship that could have been
relationship that could have been
relationship that could have been plausibly the cornerstones of your life
plausibly the cornerstones of your life
plausibly the cornerstones of your life and that broken relationship exact total
and that broken relationship exact total
and that broken relationship exact total in missed opportunity in not only not
in missed opportunity in not only not
in missed opportunity in not only not enhancing your SJP but also in not
enhancing your SJP but also in not
enhancing your SJP but also in not materializing your unrealized self
materializing your unrealized self
materializing your unrealized self potential but what if we have something
potential but what if we have something
potential but what if we have something to hold on to some truths or principles
to hold on to some truths or principles
to hold on to some truths or principles that are so deeply embedded in our
that are so deeply embedded in our
that are so deeply embedded in our subconscious minds that our
subconscious minds that our
subconscious minds that our relationships that the latent bonds of
relationships that the latent bonds of
relationships that the latent bonds of our relationships remain eternally
our relationships remain eternally
our relationships remain eternally strong well that’s exactly why I’m here
strong well that’s exactly why I’m here
strong well that’s exactly why I’m here in front of you today I’m going to
in front of you today I’m going to
in front of you today I’m going to introduce you to two such rules rules
introduce you to two such rules rules
introduce you to two such rules rules which are both mutually exclusive but
which are both mutually exclusive but
which are both mutually exclusive but exhaustive in their own rights let’s go
exhaustive in their own rights let’s go
exhaustive in their own rights let’s go to the two rules rule number one always
to the two rules rule number one always
to the two rules rule number one always do yourself defined duty towards your
do yourself defined duty towards your
do yourself defined duty towards your key stakeholders now I urge you all to
key stakeholders now I urge you all to
key stakeholders now I urge you all to make some self defined duty towards your
make some self defined duty towards your
make some self defined duty towards your stakeholders in your life and these
stakeholders in your life and these
stakeholders in your life and these stakeholders could be starting from your
stakeholders could be starting from your
stakeholders could be starting from your family your your parents your siblings
family your your parents your siblings
family your your parents your siblings perhaps your future bosses or your
perhaps your future bosses or your
perhaps your future bosses or your present bosses or your employees but
present bosses or your employees but
present bosses or your employees but what do these duties look like so for
what do these duties look like so for
what do these duties look like so for instance a duty of a boss towards his
instance a duty of a boss towards his
instance a duty of a boss towards his employees could be to clearly and
employees could be to clearly and
employees could be to clearly and transparently communicate of the role
transparently communicate of the role
transparently communicate of the role clarity the remuneration the appraisal
clarity the remuneration the appraisal
clarity the remuneration the appraisal methods and the growth path and the self
methods and the growth path and the self
methods and the growth path and the self defined duty of an employee could be
defined duty of an employee could be
defined duty of an employee could be doing the duty by following the earthís
doing the duty by following the earthís
doing the duty by following the earthís principle that is completing every task
principle that is completing every task
principle that is completing every task on time and in full without avoidable
on time and in full without avoidable
on time and in full without avoidable follow-up and taking complete sense of
follow-up and taking complete sense of
follow-up and taking complete sense of ownership in his or her own work you
ownership in his or her own work you
ownership in his or her own work you must also remember that others
must also remember that others
must also remember that others contribution towards you will only be as
contribution towards you will only be as
contribution towards you will only be as strong as the importance you give
strong as the importance you give
strong as the importance you give towards them and higher the quality of
towards them and higher the quality of
towards them and higher the quality of your self defined duty higher will be
your self defined duty higher will be
your self defined duty higher will be the quality of your relationships
the quality of your relationships
the quality of your relationships coming to what you must be very when
coming to what you must be very when
coming to what you must be very when you’re defining yourself defined Duty is
you’re defining yourself defined Duty is
you’re defining yourself defined Duty is one important point you should not
one important point you should not
one important point you should not change yourself define duty from case to
change yourself define duty from case to
change yourself define duty from case to case basis or because you receive a
case basis or because you receive a
case basis or because you receive a negative reaction from your key
negative reaction from your key
negative reaction from your key stakeholder let me give you an example
stakeholder let me give you an example
stakeholder let me give you an example let’s assume there are two people in the
let’s assume there are two people in the
let’s assume there are two people in the house one is the earning member and one
house one is the earning member and one
house one is the earning member and one is the homemaker out of sheer humbleness
is the homemaker out of sheer humbleness
is the homemaker out of sheer humbleness the earning member proudly decides to
the earning member proudly decides to
the earning member proudly decides to lend 50,000 rupees to the homemaker on
lend 50,000 rupees to the homemaker on
lend 50,000 rupees to the homemaker on the first of every month leading up to
the first of every month leading up to
the first of every month leading up to the first of the next month the there’s
the first of the next month the there’s
the first of the next month the there’s a quarrel between the earning member and
a quarrel between the earning member and
a quarrel between the earning member and the homemaker now
the homemaker now
the homemaker now the earning member decides not to lend
the earning member decides not to lend
the earning member decides not to lend the 50,000 during the during the next
the 50,000 during the during the next
the 50,000 during the during the next month
month
month that is self-delusion of yourself
that is self-delusion of yourself
that is self-delusion of yourself defined duty which will surely dampen
defined duty which will surely dampen
defined duty which will surely dampen your relationships you must all avoid
your relationships you must all avoid
your relationships you must all avoid that rule number two
that rule number two
that rule number two do not expect anything from anyone now
do not expect anything from anyone now
do not expect anything from anyone now if you ask me I’d say that if removed
if you ask me I’d say that if removed
if you ask me I’d say that if removed the word expectations from our
the word expectations from our
the word expectations from our dictionaries humanity could do a lot
dictionaries humanity could do a lot
dictionaries humanity could do a lot better and I’m sure you must have heard
better and I’m sure you must have heard
better and I’m sure you must have heard this an up Dean number of times by now
this an up Dean number of times by now
this an up Dean number of times by now and every time for this you must have
and every time for this you must have
and every time for this you must have wondered if I buy a movie ticket I do
wondered if I buy a movie ticket I do
wondered if I buy a movie ticket I do expect to see the movie right or if I
expect to see the movie right or if I
expect to see the movie right or if I rent a house I do expect my landlord to
rent a house I do expect my landlord to
rent a house I do expect my landlord to fix the broken pane right how can one be
fix the broken pane right how can one be
fix the broken pane right how can one be completely devoid of expectations and
completely devoid of expectations and
completely devoid of expectations and that brings me to draw your attention
that brings me to draw your attention
that brings me to draw your attention towards the differences between your
towards the differences between your
towards the differences between your expectations and your rights let me put
expectations and your rights let me put
expectations and your rights let me put it in a simpler way every human
it in a simpler way every human
it in a simpler way every human interaction is simply a transaction
interaction is simply a transaction
interaction is simply a transaction rights are those interactions where each
rights are those interactions where each
rights are those interactions where each party knows the motives and what they
party knows the motives and what they
party knows the motives and what they which other whereas expectations is when
which other whereas expectations is when
which other whereas expectations is when your motives
your motives
your motives create as instincts another reason why I
create as instincts another reason why I
create as instincts another reason why I believe expectation arise while I was
believe expectation arise while I was
believe expectation arise while I was doing my study is that often
doing my study is that often
doing my study is that often presumptions leads to expectations
presumptions leads to expectations
presumptions leads to expectations we often presume that what we say people
we often presume that what we say people
we often presume that what we say people would agree to what we sell people would
would agree to what we sell people would
would agree to what we sell people would like and our failure of not accepting
like and our failure of not accepting
like and our failure of not accepting what we expected evokes feeling of
what we expected evokes feeling of
what we expected evokes feeling of sadness discontent displeasure so every
sadness discontent displeasure so every
sadness discontent displeasure so every time we do something from someone and in
time we do something from someone and in
time we do something from someone and in expect in expect the thing that the
expect in expect the thing that the
expect in expect the thing that the person should be doing or reciprocating
person should be doing or reciprocating
person should be doing or reciprocating their behavior towards me we should
their behavior towards me we should
their behavior towards me we should always ask ourselves this one question
always ask ourselves this one question
always ask ourselves this one question did we do that task for the other person
did we do that task for the other person
did we do that task for the other person because it was a self-defined duty or
because it was a self-defined duty or
because it was a self-defined duty or did we do it because we wanted something
did we do it because we wanted something
did we do it because we wanted something in return
in return
in return and as long as your answer lies in the
and as long as your answer lies in the
and as long as your answer lies in the former your expectations would evaporate
former your expectations would evaporate
former your expectations would evaporate in a jiffy now I want you to think of
in a jiffy now I want you to think of
in a jiffy now I want you to think of that one relationship in your life which
that one relationship in your life which
that one relationship in your life which is not going to find or according to
is not going to find or according to
is not going to find or according to your liking and you’ll see that it is
your liking and you’ll see that it is
your liking and you’ll see that it is you who is not following either rule one
you who is not following either rule one
you who is not following either rule one rule two or perhaps both of them now I
rule two or perhaps both of them now I
rule two or perhaps both of them now I sincerely believe that if you put these
sincerely believe that if you put these
sincerely believe that if you put these two rules in practice and letter and
two rules in practice and letter and
two rules in practice and letter and spirit you can transform short
spirit you can transform short
spirit you can transform short relationships right away and enhance
relationships right away and enhance
relationships right away and enhance your success joy and peace now my words
your success joy and peace now my words
your success joy and peace now my words can only do as much justice but you’re
can only do as much justice but you’re
can only do as much justice but you’re off the thoughts will certainly do a lot
off the thoughts will certainly do a lot
off the thoughts will certainly do a lot more thank you
more thank you
more thank you [Applause]
”
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