[Music] this is my daughter
this is my daughter
this is my daughter Charleston Jane she’s three years old
Charleston Jane she’s three years old
Charleston Jane she’s three years old when it comes to clothing
when it comes to clothing
when it comes to clothing she’s completely and totally free she
she’s completely and totally free she
she’s completely and totally free she loves leopard print she loves pink
loves leopard print she loves pink
loves leopard print she loves pink anything pink and she loves her yellow
anything pink and she loves her yellow
anything pink and she loves her yellow rain jacket and not because some
rain jacket and not because some
rain jacket and not because some magazine tells her that that’s what’s a
magazine tells her that that’s what’s a
magazine tells her that that’s what’s a mean that’s what she’s supposed to wear
mean that’s what she’s supposed to wear
mean that’s what she’s supposed to wear right she loves it because she just
right she loves it because she just
right she loves it because she just loves it it’s what she likes she her
loves it it’s what she likes she her
loves it it’s what she likes she her clothes are actually a complete
clothes are actually a complete
clothes are actually a complete translation of who she is and what she
translation of who she is and what she
translation of who she is and what she enjoys I’m telling you about this
enjoys I’m telling you about this
enjoys I’m telling you about this because that’s actually where all of us
because that’s actually where all of us
because that’s actually where all of us start when it comes to clothing for each
start when it comes to clothing for each
start when it comes to clothing for each of us we all started in a spot where
of us we all started in a spot where
of us we all started in a spot where clothes were just simply a visual
clothes were just simply a visual
clothes were just simply a visual representation of who we are right our
representation of who we are right our
representation of who we are right our preferences and our desires but if her
preferences and our desires but if her
preferences and our desires but if her story is like most people’s story this
story is like most people’s story this
story is like most people’s story this is about to change in a big way pretty
is about to change in a big way pretty
is about to change in a big way pretty soon pretty soon she’s going to actually
soon pretty soon she’s going to actually
soon pretty soon she’s going to actually experience something that I call the lie
experience something that I call the lie
experience something that I call the lie did he come through magazines you come
did he come through magazines you come
did he come through magazines you come through brands then come from some idiot
through brands then come from some idiot
through brands then come from some idiot kid on the playground realistically and
kid on the playground realistically and
kid on the playground realistically and the lie that she’s going to hear is this
the lie that she’s going to hear is this
the lie that she’s going to hear is this you are not okay you need to buy things
you are not okay you need to buy things
you are not okay you need to buy things in order to be made whole you see as she
in order to be made whole you see as she
in order to be made whole you see as she starts to hear this lie mmm it really is
starts to hear this lie mmm it really is
starts to hear this lie mmm it really is it’s kind of underpinning a lot of what
it’s kind of underpinning a lot of what
it’s kind of underpinning a lot of what the modern fashion industry really
the modern fashion industry really
the modern fashion industry really communicates the most women which is
communicates the most women which is
communicates the most women which is based on kind of the Greek system of
based on kind of the Greek system of
based on kind of the Greek system of forms right there’s like a perfect
forms right there’s like a perfect
forms right there’s like a perfect version of woman over here or man over
version of woman over here or man over
version of woman over here or man over here and then there’s the rest of us
here and then there’s the rest of us
here and then there’s the rest of us over here and essentially what modern
over here and essentially what modern
over here and essentially what modern fashion does is we need to mute and
fashion does is we need to mute and
fashion does is we need to mute and change those things that are unique
change those things that are unique
change those things that are unique about ourselves by our shape our
about ourselves by our shape our
about ourselves by our shape our dimensions those are coloring to try to
dimensions those are coloring to try to
dimensions those are coloring to try to get a little bit closer to this ideal
get a little bit closer to this ideal
get a little bit closer to this ideal over here so if you’re curvy you need to
over here so if you’re curvy you need to
over here so if you’re curvy you need to wear all one color right or you need buy
wear all one color right or you need buy
wear all one color right or you need buy something with vertical stripes if
something with vertical stripes if
something with vertical stripes if you’re tall you need to buy flats right
you’re tall you need to buy flats right
you’re tall you need to buy flats right and it creates this endless cycle of
and it creates this endless cycle of
and it creates this endless cycle of consumption or we’re buying things in
consumption or we’re buying things in
consumption or we’re buying things in order to be made more close to what we
order to be made more close to what we
order to be made more close to what we consider perfect right and the cycle
consider perfect right and the cycle
consider perfect right and the cycle results in us buying a lot of clothing
results in us buying a lot of clothing
results in us buying a lot of clothing and that results in clutter in our
and that results in clutter in our
and that results in clutter in our closets in our hearts and in our minds
closets in our hearts and in our minds
closets in our hearts and in our minds clothes that aren’t really us because
clothes that aren’t really us because
clothes that aren’t really us because that was kind of the point right
that was kind of the point right
that was kind of the point right it was actually to make it less of
it was actually to make it less of
it was actually to make it less of and as Charleston’s father I’m gonna try
and as Charleston’s father I’m gonna try
and as Charleston’s father I’m gonna try to communicate no you’re okay right I
to communicate no you’re okay right I
to communicate no you’re okay right I love you and you don’t need to buy
love you and you don’t need to buy
love you and you don’t need to buy anything to be made more whole but the
anything to be made more whole but the
anything to be made more whole but the truth is that my voice is pretty small
truth is that my voice is pretty small
truth is that my voice is pretty small compared to an industry that’s multi
compared to an industry that’s multi
compared to an industry that’s multi billions of dollars right in fact that
billions of dollars right in fact that
billions of dollars right in fact that industry is gonna make over one hundred
industry is gonna make over one hundred
industry is gonna make over one hundred and twenty thousand dollars off of my
and twenty thousand dollars off of my
and twenty thousand dollars off of my daughter’s and security throughout her
daughter’s and security throughout her
daughter’s and security throughout her lifetime and the rate of consumption is
lifetime and the rate of consumption is
lifetime and the rate of consumption is actually increasing what we found is
actually increasing what we found is
actually increasing what we found is that uh in 1930 the average woman had
that uh in 1930 the average woman had
that uh in 1930 the average woman had thirty five items of clothing in her
thirty five items of clothing in her
thirty five items of clothing in her closet today it’s over one hundred and
closet today it’s over one hundred and
closet today it’s over one hundred and twenty clothes that we don’t even like
twenty clothes that we don’t even like
twenty clothes that we don’t even like right how’s that how’s this lie so good
right how’s that how’s this lie so good
right how’s that how’s this lie so good at selling stuff here’s how it works
at selling stuff here’s how it works
at selling stuff here’s how it works picture yourself in the mall right you
picture yourself in the mall right you
picture yourself in the mall right you go into the mall and we see this massive
go into the mall and we see this massive
go into the mall and we see this massive glossy photo right and it’s people just
glossy photo right and it’s people just
glossy photo right and it’s people just in total bliss wearing denim jackets and
in total bliss wearing denim jackets and
in total bliss wearing denim jackets and that says you know if you buy this denim
that says you know if you buy this denim
that says you know if you buy this denim jacket you’ll be happy like us and us
jacket you’ll be happy like us and us
jacket you’ll be happy like us and us wanting to be part of this you know
wanting to be part of this you know
wanting to be part of this you know included in this club we say okay I’ll
included in this club we say okay I’ll
included in this club we say okay I’ll buy it so you kind of go over there and
buy it so you kind of go over there and
buy it so you kind of go over there and not feel okay all right great then the
not feel okay all right great then the
not feel okay all right great then the same models like two weeks later three
same models like two weeks later three
same models like two weeks later three weeks later they’re all wearing leather
weeks later they’re all wearing leather
weeks later they’re all wearing leather jackets and say buy leather jackets so
jackets and say buy leather jackets so
jackets and say buy leather jackets so you can be cool just like us so we go
you can be cool just like us so we go
you can be cool just like us so we go over there and say okay great and so
over there and say okay great and so
over there and say okay great and so then we buy that and then we’re okay and
then we buy that and then we’re okay and
then we buy that and then we’re okay and then a week later it’s bomber jackets
then a week later it’s bomber jackets
then a week later it’s bomber jackets and the cycle continues and continues
and the cycle continues and continues
and the cycle continues and continues it’s an it’s where it’s really exclusion
it’s an it’s where it’s really exclusion
it’s an it’s where it’s really exclusion so that we can get this perpetual buying
so that we can get this perpetual buying
so that we can get this perpetual buying cycle and it never runs out right and
cycle and it never runs out right and
cycle and it never runs out right and that’s actually where I come into this
that’s actually where I come into this
that’s actually where I come into this story because I mmm Blake Smith and the
story because I mmm Blake Smith and the
story because I mmm Blake Smith and the CEO of a fashion company in fact I spent
CEO of a fashion company in fact I spent
CEO of a fashion company in fact I spent the past five years of my life in an
the past five years of my life in an
the past five years of my life in an industry whose fundamental driver of
industry whose fundamental driver of
industry whose fundamental driver of growth is the exploitation of my
growth is the exploitation of my
growth is the exploitation of my daughters and during that time I’ve kind
daughters and during that time I’ve kind
daughters and during that time I’ve kind of learned two major things about the
of learned two major things about the
of learned two major things about the lie number one the lie works it’s
lie number one the lie works it’s
lie number one the lie works it’s incredibly effective at selling stuff
incredibly effective at selling stuff
incredibly effective at selling stuff it’s a great tool to get somebody to buy
it’s a great tool to get somebody to buy
it’s a great tool to get somebody to buy things for the rest of their lives but I
things for the rest of their lives but I
things for the rest of their lives but I also learned something else but to the
also learned something else but to the
also learned something else but to the lie can be reversed it can be beat you
lie can be reversed it can be beat you
lie can be reversed it can be beat you do not have to keep feeling the way that
do not have to keep feeling the way that
do not have to keep feeling the way that you feel and I’ve been dedicating my
you feel and I’ve been dedicating my
you feel and I’ve been dedicating my life and dedicated my company it’s
life and dedicated my company it’s
life and dedicated my company it’s actually fighting that lie in the
actually fighting that lie in the
actually fighting that lie in the marketplace and as we’ve served tens of
marketplace and as we’ve served tens of
marketplace and as we’ve served tens of thousands of women in the process of
thousands of women in the process of
thousands of women in the process of doing that I’ve learned that there are
doing that I’ve learned that there are
doing that I’ve learned that there are two major
two major
two major tools I want to leave with you today two
tools I want to leave with you today two
tools I want to leave with you today two tools that you can use to combat the lie
tools that you can use to combat the lie
tools that you can use to combat the lie in your own life – number one I know who
in your own life – number one I know who
in your own life – number one I know who I am right so the lie is you are not
I am right so the lie is you are not
I am right so the lie is you are not okay that’s where it starts right you
okay that’s where it starts right you
okay that’s where it starts right you are not okay
are not okay
are not okay so we need to actually we need to
so we need to actually we need to
so we need to actually we need to confront that lie front and center and
confront that lie front and center and
confront that lie front and center and say no I Know Who I am and I am okay
say no I Know Who I am and I am okay
say no I Know Who I am and I am okay right so how do we get there for some of
right so how do we get there for some of
right so how do we get there for some of us we can maybe literally right now you
us we can maybe literally right now you
us we can maybe literally right now you can take out a sheet of paper and you
can take out a sheet of paper and you
can take out a sheet of paper and you could write down these are the things
could write down these are the things
could write down these are the things that I know that are true about myself
that I know that are true about myself
that I know that are true about myself things that have nothing to do with my
things that have nothing to do with my
things that have nothing to do with my physical appearance but just are true
physical appearance but just are true
physical appearance but just are true valuable things if you get stuck I
valuable things if you get stuck I
valuable things if you get stuck I personally I got stuck and so I felt
personally I got stuck and so I felt
personally I got stuck and so I felt like I needed some help go to a friend
like I needed some help go to a friend
like I needed some help go to a friend or a family member someone that loves
or a family member someone that loves
or a family member someone that loves you and knows you really well and ask
you and knows you really well and ask
you and knows you really well and ask them how am I good for other people
them how am I good for other people
them how am I good for other people maybe they tell you something like your
maybe they tell you something like your
maybe they tell you something like your sense of humor is really helpful in
sense of humor is really helpful in
sense of humor is really helpful in tense situations it disarms people write
tense situations it disarms people write
tense situations it disarms people write that down that is you that’s who you are
that down that is you that’s who you are
that down that is you that’s who you are has nothing to do with your physical
has nothing to do with your physical
has nothing to do with your physical appearance and own that thing so that
appearance and own that thing so that
appearance and own that thing so that when you see that big glossy poster in
when you see that big glossy poster in
when you see that big glossy poster in the mall and say wait a second no I’m
the mall and say wait a second no I’m
the mall and say wait a second no I’m okay I Know Who I am and now I can
okay I Know Who I am and now I can
okay I Know Who I am and now I can interpret what is this thing actually
interpret what is this thing actually
interpret what is this thing actually communicating to me so I Know Who I am
communicating to me so I Know Who I am
communicating to me so I Know Who I am number two I know what I like right so
number two I know what I like right so
number two I know what I like right so the second part of the lie the first
the second part of the lie the first
the second part of the lie the first part is you’re not okay the second part
part is you’re not okay the second part
part is you’re not okay the second part is now by this we need to be able to say
is now by this we need to be able to say
is now by this we need to be able to say wait a second what is this is this a
wait a second what is this is this a
wait a second what is this is this a thing that I actually like personally
thing that I actually like personally
thing that I actually like personally right and that’s the way of filtering
right and that’s the way of filtering
right and that’s the way of filtering the lie so how do we get there how do we
the lie so how do we get there how do we
the lie so how do we get there how do we how do we really figure out what it is
how do we really figure out what it is
how do we really figure out what it is that we like when it comes to clothing
that we like when it comes to clothing
that we like when it comes to clothing especially when we’re submerged right
especially when we’re submerged right
especially when we’re submerged right we’re completely wrapped up and all
we’re completely wrapped up and all
we’re completely wrapped up and all these messages about what you should
these messages about what you should
these messages about what you should like or what you should buy I found an
like or what you should buy I found an
like or what you should buy I found an exercise that’s really helpful in this
exercise that’s really helpful in this
exercise that’s really helpful in this in fact you may have already heard about
in fact you may have already heard about
in fact you may have already heard about it our companies promoted it a lot it’s
it our companies promoted it a lot it’s
it our companies promoted it a lot it’s this idea of go to your closet and hang
this idea of go to your closet and hang
this idea of go to your closet and hang up all of your clothes with the hangers
up all of your clothes with the hangers
up all of your clothes with the hangers facing toward you right so the hooks are
facing toward you right so the hooks are
facing toward you right so the hooks are facing toward you and over the course of
facing toward you and over the course of
facing toward you and over the course of the next month what I want you to do is
the next month what I want you to do is
the next month what I want you to do is each time you wear an item and you go to
each time you wear an item and you go to
each time you wear an item and you go to hang it back up I want you to turn the
hang it back up I want you to turn the
hang it back up I want you to turn the hanger around it’s almost like a log of
hanger around it’s almost like a log of
hanger around it’s almost like a log of what you’ve worn for an entire month so
what you’ve worn for an entire month so
what you’ve worn for an entire month so at the end of the month you’re going to
at the end of the month you’re going to
at the end of the month you’re going to have hook spacing this way of clothes
have hook spacing this way of clothes
have hook spacing this way of clothes that you never wore and hooks facing
that you never wore and hooks facing
that you never wore and hooks facing this way clothes that you did wear and
this way clothes that you did wear and
this way clothes that you did wear and you’re gonna see two major
you’re gonna see two major
you’re gonna see two major when you do that first you realize that
when you do that first you realize that
when you do that first you realize that you only wear about 20% of the clothes
you only wear about 20% of the clothes
you only wear about 20% of the clothes that are in your closet the rest of us
that are in your closet the rest of us
that are in your closet the rest of us just clutter and we could totally get
just clutter and we could totally get
just clutter and we could totally get rid of it and then second you’re gonna
rid of it and then second you’re gonna
rid of it and then second you’re gonna see there’s a theme throughout the
see there’s a theme throughout the
see there’s a theme throughout the clothes that are actually that you
clothes that are actually that you
clothes that are actually that you actually wore their colors cuts fabrics
actually wore their colors cuts fabrics
actually wore their colors cuts fabrics this is kind of the core of what you
this is kind of the core of what you
this is kind of the core of what you like
like
like notice that I’ve write that down and say
notice that I’ve write that down and say
notice that I’ve write that down and say okay this is what I really enjoy this is
okay this is what I really enjoy this is
okay this is what I really enjoy this is kind of a step of unlocking your inner
kind of a step of unlocking your inner
kind of a step of unlocking your inner three-year-old right like my daughter
three-year-old right like my daughter
three-year-old right like my daughter Charleston what is it that you like just
Charleston what is it that you like just
Charleston what is it that you like just because you like it what’s your favorite
because you like it what’s your favorite
because you like it what’s your favorite color
color
color why don’t we ever talk about favorite
why don’t we ever talk about favorite
why don’t we ever talk about favorite color have you noticed that we never
color have you noticed that we never
color have you noticed that we never talk about what your favorite color is
talk about what your favorite color is
talk about what your favorite color is anymore as adults
anymore as adults
anymore as adults it seems childlike but you should know
it seems childlike but you should know
it seems childlike but you should know what your favorite color is and you
what your favorite color is and you
what your favorite color is and you should wear that color because you feel
should wear that color because you feel
should wear that color because you feel good in it
good in it
good in it right I know who I am I know what I like
right I know who I am I know what I like
right I know who I am I know what I like if we can really practice this as a
if we can really practice this as a
if we can really practice this as a discipline over months and years we can
discipline over months and years we can
discipline over months and years we can actually beat and combat and actually
actually beat and combat and actually
actually beat and combat and actually get past the lie but the truth is is
get past the lie but the truth is is
get past the lie but the truth is is that we’re never going to get back to
that we’re never going to get back to
that we’re never going to get back to that sense of innocence like my daughter
that sense of innocence like my daughter
that sense of innocence like my daughter Charleston we’re I think that’s it’s too
Charleston we’re I think that’s it’s too
Charleston we’re I think that’s it’s too far gone but we can actually grow
far gone but we can actually grow
far gone but we can actually grow stronger than the lie we can come back
stronger than the lie we can come back
stronger than the lie we can come back the lie we can get past it we can become
the lie we can get past it we can become
the lie we can get past it we can become men and women who actually stand on the
men and women who actually stand on the
men and women who actually stand on the other side of it and we can help our
other side of it and we can help our
other side of it and we can help our brothers and sisters our daughters help
brothers and sisters our daughters help
brothers and sisters our daughters help them through it to a place of
them through it to a place of
them through it to a place of completeness
completeness
completeness apart from consumption so today I’ve
apart from consumption so today I’ve
apart from consumption so today I’ve talked to you a lot about the lie right
talked to you a lot about the lie right
talked to you a lot about the lie right I’ve talked to you about where does it
I’ve talked to you about where does it
I’ve talked to you about where does it come from I’ve talked to you about how
come from I’ve talked to you about how
come from I’ve talked to you about how to combat it so as I’m wrapping this up
to combat it so as I’m wrapping this up
to combat it so as I’m wrapping this up I want to leave you with the opposite of
I want to leave you with the opposite of
I want to leave you with the opposite of the lie the opposite of the magazine’s
the lie the opposite of the magazine’s
the lie the opposite of the magazine’s the opposite of the brand’s the opposite
the opposite of the brand’s the opposite
the opposite of the brand’s the opposite of that kid on the playground I want to
of that kid on the playground I want to
of that kid on the playground I want to leave you today with the truth and that
leave you today with the truth and that
leave you today with the truth and that is this you all of you are worthy of
is this you all of you are worthy of
is this you all of you are worthy of love you don’t have to buy or do
love you don’t have to buy or do
love you don’t have to buy or do anything for it thank you
anything for it thank you
anything for it thank you [Applause]
”
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