heard a conversation someone asked a friend when do you see yourself being
friend when do you see yourself being
friend when do you see yourself being happy in life to which the other person
happy in life to which the other person
happy in life to which the other person responded maybe at the end of this week
responded maybe at the end of this week
responded maybe at the end of this week or maybe once I get into my universities
or maybe once I get into my universities
or maybe once I get into my universities then I’ll be successful then I’ll be
then I’ll be successful then I’ll be
then I’ll be successful then I’ll be happy we hear it all the time especially
happy we hear it all the time especially
happy we hear it all the time especially in the Silicon Valley and it’s
in the Silicon Valley and it’s
in the Silicon Valley and it’s unfortunate but imagine instead hearing
unfortunate but imagine instead hearing
unfortunate but imagine instead hearing I’m excited for tomorrow because it’s a
I’m excited for tomorrow because it’s a
I’m excited for tomorrow because it’s a new day or I I’m happy with where I am
new day or I I’m happy with where I am
new day or I I’m happy with where I am in my life right here and right now
in my life right here and right now
in my life right here and right now does it seem out of reach I don’t think
does it seem out of reach I don’t think
does it seem out of reach I don’t think so
so
so now a lot of people might already be
now a lot of people might already be
now a lot of people might already be thinking I have too much going on at
thinking I have too much going on at
thinking I have too much going on at home too much going on at school I can’t
home too much going on at school I can’t
home too much going on at school I can’t be happy right now but it just so turns
be happy right now but it just so turns
be happy right now but it just so turns out that only 10% of one’s total
out that only 10% of one’s total
out that only 10% of one’s total happiness is dependent on your
happiness is dependent on your
happiness is dependent on your circumstances the other 90% comes from
circumstances the other 90% comes from
circumstances the other 90% comes from the way you interpret the world going on
the way you interpret the world going on
the way you interpret the world going on around you and that’s what I’m here to
around you and that’s what I’m here to
around you and that’s what I’m here to talk to you about today now I’m from the
talk to you about today now I’m from the
talk to you about today now I’m from the Netherlands that’s where it is on a map
Netherlands that’s where it is on a map
Netherlands that’s where it is on a map in case you didn’t know and the Dutch
in case you didn’t know and the Dutch
in case you didn’t know and the Dutch people are known as one of the happiest
people are known as one of the happiest
people are known as one of the happiest people in the world why is this now like
people in the world why is this now like
people in the world why is this now like our long legs and cycling prowess part
our long legs and cycling prowess part
our long legs and cycling prowess part of it is just ingrained in our DNA but
of it is just ingrained in our DNA but
of it is just ingrained in our DNA but the other part comes from our relaxed
the other part comes from our relaxed
the other part comes from our relaxed mindset in the way we view the world
mindset in the way we view the world
mindset in the way we view the world have any of you guys been to the
have any of you guys been to the
have any of you guys been to the Netherlands can’t really see but maybe
Netherlands can’t really see but maybe
Netherlands can’t really see but maybe not there’s not a lot going on there
not there’s not a lot going on there
not there’s not a lot going on there don’t worry about it but if you have
don’t worry about it but if you have
don’t worry about it but if you have you’ve seen bikes and you’ve seen a lot
you’ve seen bikes and you’ve seen a lot
you’ve seen bikes and you’ve seen a lot of them that over there is a a bike
of them that over there is a a bike
of them that over there is a a bike parking garage my grandma she’s 85 years
parking garage my grandma she’s 85 years
parking garage my grandma she’s 85 years old and she still bikes to get her
old and she still bikes to get her
old and she still bikes to get her groceries exercise has great benefits
groceries exercise has great benefits
groceries exercise has great benefits for you obviously physically but also
for you obviously physically but also
for you obviously physically but also mentally when you exercise your brain
mentally when you exercise your brain
mentally when you exercise your brain realizes it as a fight-or-flight moment
realizes it as a fight-or-flight moment
realizes it as a fight-or-flight moment and it releases a protein that acts as a
and it releases a protein that acts as a
and it releases a protein that acts as a reparative element to your memory
reparative element to your memory
reparative element to your memory neurons this essentially acts as a reset
neurons this essentially acts as a reset
neurons this essentially acts as a reset switch that’s why we feel so refreshed
switch that’s why we feel so refreshed
switch that’s why we feel so refreshed and at ease after we exercise and of
and at ease after we exercise and of
and at ease after we exercise and of course we have those pain blocking
course we have those pain blocking
course we have those pain blocking endorphins that make us feel so good and
endorphins that make us feel so good and
endorphins that make us feel so good and positive a lot of people are like I just
positive a lot of people are like I just
positive a lot of people are like I just still have time I don’t like exercising
still have time I don’t like exercising
still have time I don’t like exercising but the thing is you do have time it
but the thing is you do have time it
but the thing is you do have time it just so turns out that those mental
just so turns out that those mental
just so turns out that those mental benefits come within just the first 20
benefits come within just the first 20
benefits come within just the first 20 minutes of exercise 20 minutes is all it
minutes of exercise 20 minutes is all it
minutes of exercise 20 minutes is all it takes you don’t have to become a
takes you don’t have to become a
takes you don’t have to become a superstar athlete or a
superstar athlete or a
superstar athlete or a thing and I think that’s why the Dutch
thing and I think that’s why the Dutch
thing and I think that’s why the Dutch have mastered it so well because you can
have mastered it so well because you can
have mastered it so well because you can see people just bike to work in their
see people just bike to work in their
see people just bike to work in their full suits or with kids on the on the
full suits or with kids on the on the
full suits or with kids on the on the bike that over there is my little cousin
bike that over there is my little cousin
bike that over there is my little cousin and me on the bike so just take 20
and me on the bike so just take 20
and me on the bike so just take 20 minutes try maybe biking to school for
minutes try maybe biking to school for
minutes try maybe biking to school for once or take your dog on a walk every
once or take your dog on a walk every
once or take your dog on a walk every day just get outside and see the effect
day just get outside and see the effect
day just get outside and see the effect that it can have on you now quick little
that it can have on you now quick little
that it can have on you now quick little history lesson the Netherlands literally
history lesson the Netherlands literally
history lesson the Netherlands literally translates to Low Countries that’s
translates to Low Countries that’s
translates to Low Countries that’s because half of about half of the
because half of about half of the
because half of about half of the country is below sea level now typically
country is below sea level now typically
country is below sea level now typically life under the sea is aquatic but we
life under the sea is aquatic but we
life under the sea is aquatic but we haven’t grown fins yet and that’s
haven’t grown fins yet and that’s
haven’t grown fins yet and that’s because hundreds of years ago farmers
because hundreds of years ago farmers
because hundreds of years ago farmers all had to work together in order to
all had to work together in order to
all had to work together in order to keep the land from flooding every farmer
keep the land from flooding every farmer
keep the land from flooding every farmer had to do their part to maintain their
had to do their part to maintain their
had to do their part to maintain their dike that’s what a dike is it keeps the
dike that’s what a dike is it keeps the
dike that’s what a dike is it keeps the water from flooding it to the country
water from flooding it to the country
water from flooding it to the country everyone had to work together because if
everyone had to work together because if
everyone had to work together because if one person didn’t do their part the land
one person didn’t do their part the land
one person didn’t do their part the land of flood and this is still incredibly
of flood and this is still incredibly
of flood and this is still incredibly prevalent today this is a staple this
prevalent today this is a staple this
prevalent today this is a staple this sense of community is a staple of Dutch
sense of community is a staple of Dutch
sense of community is a staple of Dutch culture today there’s this something
culture today there’s this something
culture today there’s this something called salmon leafing in Dutch which
called salmon leafing in Dutch which
called salmon leafing in Dutch which translates to living together or
translates to living together or
translates to living together or community every day after school all the
community every day after school all the
community every day after school all the little kids run to the playground and
little kids run to the playground and
little kids run to the playground and play soccer at the park my grandmother
play soccer at the park my grandmother
play soccer at the park my grandmother is too busy to call us over here because
is too busy to call us over here because
is too busy to call us over here because she has so many things going on she has
she has so many things going on she has
she has so many things going on she has so many friends so I can’t express the
so many friends so I can’t express the
so many friends so I can’t express the importance of social interaction enough
importance of social interaction enough
importance of social interaction enough so positive psychologist Martin salesmen
so positive psychologist Martin salesmen
so positive psychologist Martin salesmen studies positive psychology and he’s
studies positive psychology and he’s
studies positive psychology and he’s worked with thousands of patients across
worked with thousands of patients across
worked with thousands of patients across his lifetime and he said the one thing
his lifetime and he said the one thing
his lifetime and he said the one thing common among every happy patient he’s
common among every happy patient he’s
common among every happy patient he’s worked with is that they’re all
worked with is that they’re all
worked with is that they’re all incredibly social and when we feel at
incredibly social and when we feel at
incredibly social and when we feel at risk of being isolated the pain centers
risk of being isolated the pain centers
risk of being isolated the pain centers in our brain are actually activated
in our brain are actually activated
in our brain are actually activated because from an evolutionary standpoint
because from an evolutionary standpoint
because from an evolutionary standpoint we need people to survive so get out
we need people to survive so get out
we need people to survive so get out there talk to people you maybe wouldn’t
there talk to people you maybe wouldn’t
there talk to people you maybe wouldn’t talk to and when you do don’t just
talk to and when you do don’t just
talk to and when you do don’t just engage in small talk try to engage in a
engage in small talk try to engage in a
engage in small talk try to engage in a meaningful conversation the Dutch are
meaningful conversation the Dutch are
meaningful conversation the Dutch are notorious for being blunt and honest
notorious for being blunt and honest
notorious for being blunt and honest when people ask hey how are you instead
when people ask hey how are you instead
when people ask hey how are you instead of just responding I’m good and leaving
of just responding I’m good and leaving
of just responding I’m good and leaving it at that it’s much more common for
it at that it’s much more common for
it at that it’s much more common for someone to say I’m feeling fabulous
someone to say I’m feeling fabulous
someone to say I’m feeling fabulous today and this is why or I’m having a
today and this is why or I’m having a
today and this is why or I’m having a pretty crappy day and
pretty crappy day and
pretty crappy day and here’s why which then leads to a deeper
here’s why which then leads to a deeper
here’s why which then leads to a deeper conversation a study at the University
conversation a study at the University
conversation a study at the University of Washington and st. Louis found that
of Washington and st. Louis found that
of Washington and st. Louis found that those who participate in deeper more
those who participate in deeper more
those who participate in deeper more meaningful conversations are happier
meaningful conversations are happier
meaningful conversations are happier than those who don’t but the study
than those who don’t but the study
than those who don’t but the study concluded that any sort of conversation
concluded that any sort of conversation
concluded that any sort of conversation no matter how trivial was related to
no matter how trivial was related to
no matter how trivial was related to higher sense of happiness and well-being
higher sense of happiness and well-being
higher sense of happiness and well-being in the participants so like I said get
in the participants so like I said get
in the participants so like I said get out there try to engage in conversation
out there try to engage in conversation
out there try to engage in conversation with people you might not usually do
with people you might not usually do
with people you might not usually do prioritize your social life find a time
prioritize your social life find a time
prioritize your social life find a time in the week just to be with your friends
in the week just to be with your friends
in the week just to be with your friends and hang out with people tell your
and hang out with people tell your
and hang out with people tell your parents or your family about your day
parents or your family about your day
parents or your family about your day really talk to them about your day
really talk to them about your day
really talk to them about your day practice this idea of samma leafing now
practice this idea of samma leafing now
practice this idea of samma leafing now despite the strong sense of samuel i
despite the strong sense of samuel i
despite the strong sense of samuel i think there’s actually a very little
think there’s actually a very little
think there’s actually a very little sense of competition or keeping up with
sense of competition or keeping up with
sense of competition or keeping up with the Joneses in the Netherlands there’s
the Joneses in the Netherlands there’s
the Joneses in the Netherlands there’s the saying that goes do marlak or hone
the saying that goes do marlak or hone
the saying that goes do marlak or hone Delta so heck who knew which is a
Delta so heck who knew which is a
Delta so heck who knew which is a mouthful but it essentially translates
mouthful but it essentially translates
mouthful but it essentially translates to just be normal
to just be normal
to just be normal or just do you that’s crazy enough in
or just do you that’s crazy enough in
or just do you that’s crazy enough in Holland there’s no desire or need to be
Holland there’s no desire or need to be
Holland there’s no desire or need to be the biggest the fastest the smartest the
the biggest the fastest the smartest the
the biggest the fastest the smartest the most successful when in Holland you just
most successful when in Holland you just
most successful when in Holland you just do you which is easier said than done
do you which is easier said than done
do you which is easier said than done but there’s a lot of really interesting
but there’s a lot of really interesting
but there’s a lot of really interesting research out there that proves why this
research out there that proves why this
research out there that proves why this mindset is so beneficial when you do
mindset is so beneficial when you do
mindset is so beneficial when you do what you love not what your parents love
what you love not what your parents love
what you love not what your parents love not what your friends want to see not
not what your friends want to see not
not what your friends want to see not what might earn you the most money down
what might earn you the most money down
what might earn you the most money down the line but what you are good at and
the line but what you are good at and
the line but what you are good at and what you love you experience something
what you love you experience something
what you love you experience something in psychology that’s known as flow flow
in psychology that’s known as flow flow
in psychology that’s known as flow flow is a mental state of operation in which
is a mental state of operation in which
is a mental state of operation in which you’re fully immersed and focused at the
you’re fully immersed and focused at the
you’re fully immersed and focused at the subject at hand it’s different than
subject at hand it’s different than
subject at hand it’s different than pleasure because when you experience
pleasure because when you experience
pleasure because when you experience pleasure you know what’s happening but
pleasure you know what’s happening but
pleasure you know what’s happening but with flow you’re totally lost in the
with flow you’re totally lost in the
with flow you’re totally lost in the moment if you do what it takes to have
moment if you do what it takes to have
moment if you do what it takes to have it all and look like you’re the best you
it all and look like you’re the best you
it all and look like you’re the best you might experience pleasure temporary
might experience pleasure temporary
might experience pleasure temporary pleasure but you won’t experience that
pleasure but you won’t experience that
pleasure but you won’t experience that sustained happiness and life
sustained happiness and life
sustained happiness and life satisfaction that you do when you
satisfaction that you do when you
satisfaction that you do when you experience flow
experience flow
experience flow Matthew Killingsworth designed a study
Matthew Killingsworth designed a study
Matthew Killingsworth designed a study where he studied 15,000 people and
where he studied 15,000 people and
where he studied 15,000 people and something he found something very clear
something he found something very clear
something he found something very clear those who are thinking about other
those who are thinking about other
those who are thinking about other things other than the task at hand are
things other than the task at hand are
things other than the task at hand are significantly less happy than those who
significantly less happy than those who
significantly less happy than those who are present and focused and toad
are present and focused and toad
are present and focused and toad involved in what they’re doing that’s
involved in what they’re doing that’s
involved in what they’re doing that’s why it’s so important to find something
why it’s so important to find something
why it’s so important to find something to do that you love the more your mind
to do that you love the more your mind
to do that you love the more your mind wanders the less happy you are even if
wanders the less happy you are even if
wanders the less happy you are even if your mind is wandering off to some more
your mind is wandering off to some more
your mind is wandering off to some more pleasant place why do you think
pleasant place why do you think
pleasant place why do you think mindfulness is such a hot topic these
mindfulness is such a hot topic these
mindfulness is such a hot topic these days in positive psychology it’s because
days in positive psychology it’s because
days in positive psychology it’s because you focus your mind you quiet your mind
you focus your mind you quiet your mind
you focus your mind you quiet your mind and you’re not thinking about anything
and you’re not thinking about anything
and you’re not thinking about anything else
else
else so those cheesy Facebook posts that your
so those cheesy Facebook posts that your
so those cheesy Facebook posts that your mom shares on Facebook about living in
mom shares on Facebook about living in
mom shares on Facebook about living in the moment may sound cliche but there’s
the moment may sound cliche but there’s
the moment may sound cliche but there’s a lot of truth to them so try different
a lot of truth to them so try different
a lot of truth to them so try different things out while you’re still young
things out while you’re still young
things out while you’re still young taken into interesting elective maybe
taken into interesting elective maybe
taken into interesting elective maybe like culinary or aerospace engineering
like culinary or aerospace engineering
like culinary or aerospace engineering or photography try not to focus on being
or photography try not to focus on being
or photography try not to focus on being the biggest or the best but focus on
the biggest or the best but focus on
the biggest or the best but focus on being you and see what it does for you
being you and see what it does for you
being you and see what it does for you because a lot of people think that once
because a lot of people think that once
because a lot of people think that once you’re successful then you’ll be happy
you’re successful then you’ll be happy
you’re successful then you’ll be happy but actually it’s the other way around
but actually it’s the other way around
but actually it’s the other way around once your brain is positive as opposed
once your brain is positive as opposed
once your brain is positive as opposed to negative neutral or stressed you are
to negative neutral or stressed you are
to negative neutral or stressed you are actually a lot more successful than the
actually a lot more successful than the
actually a lot more successful than the other way around
other way around
other way around another thing that strikes me about the
another thing that strikes me about the
another thing that strikes me about the Dutch people is that we’re very chill
Dutch people is that we’re very chill
Dutch people is that we’re very chill you could say or emotionally regulated
you could say or emotionally regulated
you could say or emotionally regulated I’ve been trying something recently
I’ve been trying something recently
I’ve been trying something recently called the 21-day challenge that Marcin
called the 21-day challenge that Marcin
called the 21-day challenge that Marcin said that psychologist Sean anchor
said that psychologist Sean anchor
said that psychologist Sean anchor recommended every night before bed I
recommended every night before bed I
recommended every night before bed I take about five minutes to write down
take about five minutes to write down
take about five minutes to write down three things I’m grateful for and one
three things I’m grateful for and one
three things I’m grateful for and one positive experience doing this for just
positive experience doing this for just
positive experience doing this for just 21 days trains your brain to scam the
21 days trains your brain to scam the
21 days trains your brain to scam the world for the positive as opposed to the
world for the positive as opposed to the
world for the positive as opposed to the negative now it’s March which means I
negative now it’s March which means I
negative now it’s March which means I along with maybe some of you are hearing
along with maybe some of you are hearing
along with maybe some of you are hearing back from a lot of universities and I
back from a lot of universities and I
back from a lot of universities and I didn’t get into some of my top choice
didn’t get into some of my top choice
didn’t get into some of my top choice schools which I thought initially when
schools which I thought initially when
schools which I thought initially when made me really upset but it just
made me really upset but it just
made me really upset but it just happened so that when I got my rejection
happened so that when I got my rejection
happened so that when I got my rejection letter I looked at it I said alright
letter I looked at it I said alright
letter I looked at it I said alright their loss and I moved on and I think
their loss and I moved on and I think
their loss and I moved on and I think it’s because my brain has been trained
it’s because my brain has been trained
it’s because my brain has been trained to realize that there is so much more to
to realize that there is so much more to
to realize that there is so much more to be positive and thankful for in this
be positive and thankful for in this
be positive and thankful for in this world so try it try to weet rewire your
world so try it try to weet rewire your
world so try it try to weet rewire your brain try this 21 day challenge ten
brain try this 21 day challenge ten
brain try this 21 day challenge ten through to write down at the end of the
through to write down at the end of the
through to write down at the end of the day three things that you’re grateful
day three things that you’re grateful
day three things that you’re grateful for and one positive experience rewire
for and one positive experience rewire
for and one positive experience rewire your brain to be more emotionally
your brain to be more emotionally
your brain to be more emotionally regulated and positive I was at camp
regulated and positive I was at camp
regulated and positive I was at camp diversity last week and I realized I was
diversity last week and I realized I was
diversity last week and I realized I was shocked when I real
shocked when I real
shocked when I real some of the happiest people there were
some of the happiest people there were
some of the happiest people there were the same people with the most adverse
the same people with the most adverse
the same people with the most adverse backgrounds so for those of you who are
backgrounds so for those of you who are
backgrounds so for those of you who are thinking no this isn’t for me it can it
thinking no this isn’t for me it can it
thinking no this isn’t for me it can it can be this is something that’s possible
can be this is something that’s possible
can be this is something that’s possible for everyone so to address those two
for everyone so to address those two
for everyone so to address those two people that I overheard the other week
people that I overheard the other week
people that I overheard the other week don’t look into the future to find
don’t look into the future to find
don’t look into the future to find happiness
happiness
happiness tomorrow’s happiness starts today
tomorrow’s happiness starts today
tomorrow’s happiness starts today because the future it’s not some place
because the future it’s not some place
because the future it’s not some place some place that we’re going it’s
some place that we’re going it’s
some place that we’re going it’s something that we have the power to
something that we have the power to
something that we have the power to create and I’m hoping with a little bit
create and I’m hoping with a little bit
create and I’m hoping with a little bit of Dutch influence that place will be a
of Dutch influence that place will be a
of Dutch influence that place will be a happy one thank you
happy one thank you
happy one thank you [Applause]
”
Be First to Comment