okay so looking at me the next thing that I’m going to say might sound a
that I’m going to say might sound a
that I’m going to say might sound a little bit weird but I really didn’t
little bit weird but I really didn’t
little bit weird but I really didn’t think of myself as being Chinese until I
think of myself as being Chinese until I
think of myself as being Chinese until I was around 18 years old you see I grew
was around 18 years old you see I grew
was around 18 years old you see I grew up in post-colonial multi-ethnic
up in post-colonial multi-ethnic
up in post-colonial multi-ethnic Trinidad with the words of our first
Trinidad with the words of our first
Trinidad with the words of our first prime minister kind of echoing in my
prime minister kind of echoing in my
prime minister kind of echoing in my mind there can be no mother Africa
mind there can be no mother Africa
mind there can be no mother Africa no mother India we were essentially
no mother India we were essentially
no mother India we were essentially taught to distance ourselves from our
taught to distance ourselves from our
taught to distance ourselves from our ancestry in order to embrace being
ancestry in order to embrace being
ancestry in order to embrace being better citizens of our relatively new
better citizens of our relatively new
better citizens of our relatively new nation so I thought to myself as
nation so I thought to myself as
nation so I thought to myself as Trinidadian and I embraced all the other
Trinidadian and I embraced all the other
Trinidadian and I embraced all the other cultures of my home as my own and being
cultures of my home as my own and being
cultures of my home as my own and being Asian was just a tiny little part of my
Asian was just a tiny little part of my
Asian was just a tiny little part of my identity
identity
identity that is until I went overseas for
that is until I went overseas for
that is until I went overseas for university and as soon as I stopped
university and as soon as I stopped
university and as soon as I stopped abroad I realized that to the rest of
abroad I realized that to the rest of
abroad I realized that to the rest of the world I was pretty much a hundred
the world I was pretty much a hundred
the world I was pretty much a hundred percent Chinese now I would end up
percent Chinese now I would end up
percent Chinese now I would end up living and working overseas for over a
living and working overseas for over a
living and working overseas for over a decade and I continually had to answer
decade and I continually had to answer
decade and I continually had to answer questions that went along the lines of
questions that went along the lines of
questions that went along the lines of why do you sound a little bit like Bob
why do you sound a little bit like Bob
why do you sound a little bit like Bob Marley but you look like that and
Marley but you look like that and
Marley but you look like that and honestly it wasn’t really until I was in
honestly it wasn’t really until I was in
honestly it wasn’t really until I was in my mid twenties or so that’s something
my mid twenties or so that’s something
my mid twenties or so that’s something about this line of questioning struck a
about this line of questioning struck a
about this line of questioning struck a chord with me I just recently graduated
chord with me I just recently graduated
chord with me I just recently graduated from my first degree which was mostly
from my first degree which was mostly
from my first degree which was mostly rooted in like a very deep rigorous
rooted in like a very deep rigorous
rooted in like a very deep rigorous scientific fact based Theory biology and
scientific fact based Theory biology and
scientific fact based Theory biology and chemistry with a tiny elements of
chemistry with a tiny elements of
chemistry with a tiny elements of anthropology and I was at the cusp of my
anthropology and I was at the cusp of my
anthropology and I was at the cusp of my career in global health which is what I
career in global health which is what I
career in global health which is what I would go on to study for my masters I’d
would go on to study for my masters I’d
would go on to study for my masters I’d found myself then living and working in
found myself then living and working in
found myself then living and working in Ethiopia on a really interesting project
Ethiopia on a really interesting project
Ethiopia on a really interesting project trying to better understand sexual
trying to better understand sexual
trying to better understand sexual health behaviors in communities so
health behaviors in communities so
health behaviors in communities so difference in my own what I was quickly
difference in my own what I was quickly
difference in my own what I was quickly learning was of course the fact the
learning was of course the fact the
learning was of course the fact the importance prevalence of diseases the
importance prevalence of diseases the
importance prevalence of diseases the economic situations but in order for me
economic situations but in order for me
economic situations but in order for me better understand and to really feel
better understand and to really feel
better understand and to really feel connected to those people and by
connected to those people and by
connected to those people and by extension those communities I needed to
extension those communities I needed to
extension those communities I needed to listen to those life stories their life
listen to those life stories their life
listen to those life stories their life experiences and to learn a little bit
experiences and to learn a little bit
experiences and to learn a little bit more about the cultures and histories
more about the cultures and histories
more about the cultures and histories that they were from now of course every
that they were from now of course every
that they were from now of course every good relationship or respectful one goes
good relationship or respectful one goes
good relationship or respectful one goes both ways
both ways
both ways but I found myself struggling because I
but I found myself struggling because I
but I found myself struggling because I didn’t really understand some parts of
didn’t really understand some parts of
didn’t really understand some parts of my own story and my own history because
my own story and my own history because
my own story and my own history because it’s true compared to the average person
it’s true compared to the average person
it’s true compared to the average person and you will I found a little bit more
and you will I found a little bit more
and you will I found a little bit more like Bob Marley but I am Asian so what
like Bob Marley but I am Asian so what
like Bob Marley but I am Asian so what was your real story behind that now in
was your real story behind that now in
was your real story behind that now in 2012 when I returned home I became
2012 when I returned home I became
2012 when I returned home I became frankly a little bit obsessed with
frankly a little bit obsessed with
frankly a little bit obsessed with recording my then it’s two year old
recording my then it’s two year old
recording my then it’s two year old grandmother’s stories I would sit with
grandmother’s stories I would sit with
grandmother’s stories I would sit with her Sunday lunch after Sunday lunch and
her Sunday lunch after Sunday lunch and
her Sunday lunch after Sunday lunch and ask her tons of questions and slowly the
ask her tons of questions and slowly the
ask her tons of questions and slowly the anecdote started to come out she told me
anecdote started to come out she told me
anecdote started to come out she told me how she lost the grocery store that she
how she lost the grocery store that she
how she lost the grocery store that she built with my grandfather and in 1980
built with my grandfather and in 1980
built with my grandfather and in 1980 starfire and are not long after that she
starfire and are not long after that she
starfire and are not long after that she became the main breadwinner of our
became the main breadwinner of our
became the main breadwinner of our family of seven when she lost her father
family of seven when she lost her father
family of seven when she lost her father her husband and her mother in the same
her husband and her mother in the same
her husband and her mother in the same year and that she started a tiny little
year and that she started a tiny little
year and that she started a tiny little business in her backyard to make
business in her backyard to make
business in her backyard to make preserved mangoes to support everyone I
preserved mangoes to support everyone I
preserved mangoes to support everyone I knew that I had to record those stories
knew that I had to record those stories
knew that I had to record those stories and what came out of that was a little
and what came out of that was a little
and what came out of that was a little film that unexpectedly made it into to
film that unexpectedly made it into to
film that unexpectedly made it into to international film festivals I have
international film festivals I have
international film festivals I have vivid memories of that first screening I
vivid memories of that first screening I
vivid memories of that first screening I was standing there with my granny by my
was standing there with my granny by my
was standing there with my granny by my side in front of this gigantic cinema
side in front of this gigantic cinema
side in front of this gigantic cinema screen in the theater and I was readying
screen in the theater and I was readying
screen in the theater and I was readying myself to answer all the audience’s
myself to answer all the audience’s
myself to answer all the audience’s questions but as soon as those questions
questions but as soon as those questions
questions but as soon as those questions started to come out my granny brush me
started to come out my granny brush me
started to come out my granny brush me aside hand on hip and thought it’s a
aside hand on hip and thought it’s a
aside hand on hip and thought it’s a silly answering the audience I had to
silly answering the audience I had to
silly answering the audience I had to take a step back in a moment because
take a step back in a moment because
take a step back in a moment because honestly it was the first
honestly it was the first
honestly it was the first I’m that I really ever saw her as a
I’m that I really ever saw her as a
I’m that I really ever saw her as a woman in her own right and not as just
woman in her own right and not as just
woman in her own right and not as just my granny now because she had opened up
my granny now because she had opened up
my granny now because she had opened up and shared her story other people in the
and shared her story other people in the
and shared her story other people in the audience started to reflect on their own
audience started to reflect on their own
audience started to reflect on their own and started to share those with us and
and started to share those with us and
and started to share those with us and there was this unmistakable feeling of
there was this unmistakable feeling of
there was this unmistakable feeling of connection in that room right there and
connection in that room right there and
connection in that room right there and then and this was really big because
then and this was really big because
then and this was really big because when I started that project with my
when I started that project with my
when I started that project with my granny she would tell me what stories or
granny she would tell me what stories or
granny she would tell me what stories or what what do I have to say I’m just an
what what do I have to say I’m just an
what what do I have to say I’m just an average boy his son you are just being
average boy his son you are just being
average boy his son you are just being my crazy granddaughter as usual and
my crazy granddaughter as usual and
my crazy granddaughter as usual and barking on some project that I have no
barking on some project that I have no
barking on some project that I have no idea what it means but in that moment my
idea what it means but in that moment my
idea what it means but in that moment my grandmother was standing with pride she
grandmother was standing with pride she
grandmother was standing with pride she understood that her story mattered and
understood that her story mattered and
understood that her story mattered and she was no longer just that faceless
she was no longer just that faceless
she was no longer just that faceless stereotype of that tiny woman with a
stereotype of that tiny woman with a
stereotype of that tiny woman with a grocery store on the corner that
reinforced for me all that I had learned
reinforced for me all that I had learned working in communities whether it was in
working in communities whether it was in
working in communities whether it was in Uganda or Ethiopia the US or the UK or
Uganda or Ethiopia the US or the UK or
Uganda or Ethiopia the US or the UK or the Caribbean that it’s this really
the Caribbean that it’s this really
the Caribbean that it’s this really interesting blend of human experiences
interesting blend of human experiences
interesting blend of human experiences placed within the factual contacts and
placed within the factual contacts and
placed within the factual contacts and the history and cultures that can give
the history and cultures that can give
the history and cultures that can give us interesting and genuine insights into
us interesting and genuine insights into
us interesting and genuine insights into who we are and how we connected to other
who we are and how we connected to other
who we are and how we connected to other people so of course being the crazy
people so of course being the crazy
people so of course being the crazy grandchild that I am I decided right I’m
grandchild that I am I decided right I’m
grandchild that I am I decided right I’m going to start a company to help people
going to start a company to help people
going to start a company to help people all over the world tell their stories
all over the world tell their stories
all over the world tell their stories and that is exactly what my team and I
and that is exactly what my team and I
and that is exactly what my team and I have been doing for the past five years
have been doing for the past five years
have been doing for the past five years we’ve listened to thousands of hours of
we’ve listened to thousands of hours of
we’ve listened to thousands of hours of interviews combed over the most
interviews combed over the most
interviews combed over the most beautiful of archives from all over the
beautiful of archives from all over the
beautiful of archives from all over the world and read countless history books
world and read countless history books
world and read countless history books in order to help our clients tell their
in order to help our clients tell their
in order to help our clients tell their own stories now that time with my
own stories now that time with my
own stories now that time with my grandmother helping her to record her
grandmother helping her to record her
grandmother helping her to record her legacy was the best gift I could have
legacy was the best gift I could have
legacy was the best gift I could have ever give
ever give
ever give but as she was telling me her story and
but as she was telling me her story and
but as she was telling me her story and my ancestor stories what I realized was
my ancestor stories what I realized was
my ancestor stories what I realized was that she was actually gifting me with
that she was actually gifting me with
that she was actually gifting me with the best gift that she ever could my
the best gift that she ever could my
the best gift that she ever could my story a better understanding of myself
story a better understanding of myself
story a better understanding of myself and my place in this world I was
and my place in this world I was
and my place in this world I was learning that our family was in E
learning that our family was in E
learning that our family was in E Caribbean because my grandmother left
Caribbean because my grandmother left
Caribbean because my grandmother left China in 1949 not speaking a word of
China in 1949 not speaking a word of
China in 1949 not speaking a word of English
English
English – Mary oh man she had never met before
– Mary oh man she had never met before
– Mary oh man she had never met before as a mail-order bride in a country
as a mail-order bride in a country
as a mail-order bride in a country absolutely foreign to her own I learned
absolutely foreign to her own I learned
absolutely foreign to her own I learned that we were from a part of China in the
that we were from a part of China in the
that we were from a part of China in the South called Guangdong and that I like
South called Guangdong and that I like
South called Guangdong and that I like her a fraud tribe Kali Hakka did not
her a fraud tribe Kali Hakka did not
her a fraud tribe Kali Hakka did not mean that I also shared connections to
mean that I also shared connections to
mean that I also shared connections to people in Guangdong and was about all
people in Guangdong and was about all
people in Guangdong and was about all the people in the world who are Hakka
the people in the world who are Hakka
the people in the world who are Hakka like me I learned afterwards that Hakka
like me I learned afterwards that Hakka
like me I learned afterwards that Hakka woman will warrior woman
woman will warrior woman
woman will warrior woman they didn’t bind their feet for beauty
they didn’t bind their feet for beauty
they didn’t bind their feet for beauty they stood beside the man and defended
they stood beside the man and defended
they stood beside the man and defended our villages they were resilient and
our villages they were resilient and
our villages they were resilient and they were migratory traits that I saw in
they were migratory traits that I saw in
they were migratory traits that I saw in my grandmother the other woman in my
my grandmother the other woman in my
my grandmother the other woman in my family and in myself she told me about
family and in myself she told me about
family and in myself she told me about how over the century our family made its
how over the century our family made its
how over the century our family made its way through Suriname Guyana the UK the
way through Suriname Guyana the UK the
way through Suriname Guyana the UK the u.s. Jamaica might not mean that I also
u.s. Jamaica might not mean that I also
u.s. Jamaica might not mean that I also shared something with those parts of the
shared something with those parts of the
shared something with those parts of the world as well as my grandmother was
world as well as my grandmother was
world as well as my grandmother was telling me her story and really our
telling me her story and really our
telling me her story and really our family story on my story I began to
family story on my story I began to
family story on my story I began to understand and see this amazingly
understand and see this amazingly
understand and see this amazingly beautiful tapestry that was unfolding
beautiful tapestry that was unfolding
beautiful tapestry that was unfolding with strings that connected me to people
with strings that connected me to people
with strings that connected me to people answer places all over the world and I
answer places all over the world and I
answer places all over the world and I had never really thought about that from
had never really thought about that from
had never really thought about that from that perspective before and it really
that perspective before and it really
that perspective before and it really made me feel and to understand just how
made me feel and to understand just how
made me feel and to understand just how much I am a citizen of this world but my
much I am a citizen of this world but my
much I am a citizen of this world but my granny wasn’t only opening up connect
granny wasn’t only opening up connect
granny wasn’t only opening up connect shuns through geographical space what
shuns through geographical space what
shuns through geographical space what she was doing was also opening up those
she was doing was also opening up those
she was doing was also opening up those connections across time she recounted
connections across time she recounted
connections across time she recounted how she escaped the violence of the
how she escaped the violence of the
how she escaped the violence of the second sino-japanese war running to Hong
second sino-japanese war running to Hong
second sino-japanese war running to Hong Kong hiding in trenches eating and
Kong hiding in trenches eating and
Kong hiding in trenches eating and surviving off of nothing but biscuits
surviving off of nothing but biscuits
surviving off of nothing but biscuits made of just flour and water I learned
made of just flour and water I learned
made of just flour and water I learned about the historical facts surrounding
about the historical facts surrounding
about the historical facts surrounding those events but listening to her
those events but listening to her
those events but listening to her stories gave a human dimensions of those
stories gave a human dimensions of those
stories gave a human dimensions of those things that connected me to the past in
things that connected me to the past in
things that connected me to the past in a way that no historical piece of paper
a way that no historical piece of paper
a way that no historical piece of paper ever could my grandmother was a part of
ever could my grandmother was a part of
ever could my grandmother was a part of history
history
history an active player as we all are every day
an active player as we all are every day
an active player as we all are every day in the decisions that we make that will
in the decisions that we make that will
in the decisions that we make that will impact people who come after us my very
impact people who come after us my very
impact people who come after us my very existence is because of those decisions
existence is because of those decisions
existence is because of those decisions that my grandmother made within
that my grandmother made within
that my grandmother made within historical circumstances that are not so
historical circumstances that are not so
historical circumstances that are not so different to some that are unfolding in
different to some that are unfolding in
different to some that are unfolding in our will today I mean I stand here
our will today I mean I stand here
our will today I mean I stand here before you the granddaughter of a
before you the granddaughter of a
before you the granddaughter of a refugee now I know it sounds a little
refugee now I know it sounds a little
refugee now I know it sounds a little bit like remarkable journey to a certain
bit like remarkable journey to a certain
bit like remarkable journey to a certain degree almost a bit idyllic in many ways
degree almost a bit idyllic in many ways
degree almost a bit idyllic in many ways but in fact delving into my family’s
but in fact delving into my family’s
but in fact delving into my family’s story and my own story was one of the
story and my own story was one of the
story and my own story was one of the most destabilizing periods of my life
most destabilizing periods of my life
most destabilizing periods of my life kind of like when you are driving full
kind of like when you are driving full
kind of like when you are driving full speed and you think alright I’m good I
speed and you think alright I’m good I
speed and you think alright I’m good I know where I’m going
know where I’m going
know where I’m going determine and you see and you hit the
determine and you see and you hit the
determine and you see and you hit the biggest speed bump ever and you go
biggest speed bump ever and you go
biggest speed bump ever and you go flying
flying
flying freewheeling not sure how where and in
freewheeling not sure how where and in
freewheeling not sure how where and in what state you’re going to London
what state you’re going to London
what state you’re going to London because life stories will unveil those
because life stories will unveil those
because life stories will unveil those really wonderful germs but they will
really wonderful germs but they will
really wonderful germs but they will also probably
also probably
also probably show you things about yourself and about
show you things about yourself and about
show you things about yourself and about others those you love the most sometimes
others those you love the most sometimes
others those you love the most sometimes and about society that you really
and about society that you really
and about society that you really sometimes don’t ever want to confront
sometimes don’t ever want to confront
sometimes don’t ever want to confront stories with themes like blame shame and
stories with themes like blame shame and
stories with themes like blame shame and lies and tragedy and loss and fare like
lies and tragedy and loss and fare like
lies and tragedy and loss and fare like learning that I come from three
learning that I come from three
learning that I come from three generations of abandoned children and
generations of abandoned children and
generations of abandoned children and having to dig deep and deal with those
having to dig deep and deal with those
having to dig deep and deal with those feelings and seeing how that impacted
feelings and seeing how that impacted
feelings and seeing how that impacted myself and my other family members and
myself and my other family members and
myself and my other family members and being terrified of repeating those
being terrified of repeating those
being terrified of repeating those cycles and you may also desperately seek
cycles and you may also desperately seek
cycles and you may also desperately seek answers to questions that you will have
answers to questions that you will have
answers to questions that you will have to accept or lost with time so you have
to accept or lost with time so you have
to accept or lost with time so you have to be prepared and you do have to
to be prepared and you do have to
to be prepared and you do have to remember that it is in your own time
remember that it is in your own time
remember that it is in your own time that you’re doing this but what I’ve
that you’re doing this but what I’ve
that you’re doing this but what I’ve learned through my personal experiences
learned through my personal experiences
learned through my personal experiences and all of my years of work is that
and all of my years of work is that
and all of my years of work is that struggling through these very unsettling
struggling through these very unsettling
struggling through these very unsettling realizations can often be one of the
realizations can often be one of the
realizations can often be one of the best things you go through because you
best things you go through because you
best things you go through because you tend to come out on the other side with
tend to come out on the other side with
tend to come out on the other side with a more grounded sense of self the
a more grounded sense of self the
a more grounded sense of self the ability to think a little bit more
ability to think a little bit more
ability to think a little bit more critically about those stereotypes that
critically about those stereotypes that
critically about those stereotypes that where sometimes conditions to see and to
where sometimes conditions to see and to
where sometimes conditions to see and to be more empathetic to the people around
be more empathetic to the people around
be more empathetic to the people around you because we are all going through
you because we are all going through
you because we are all going through crazy journeys and I really believe that
crazy journeys and I really believe that
crazy journeys and I really believe that this can help us to be a more respectful
this can help us to be a more respectful
this can help us to be a more respectful and kind of society as we try to
and kind of society as we try to
and kind of society as we try to maneuver this rapid changes in our world
maneuver this rapid changes in our world
maneuver this rapid changes in our world together now I can’t help myself but
together now I can’t help myself but
together now I can’t help myself but think sometimes about this amazing
think sometimes about this amazing
think sometimes about this amazing beautiful tapestry of humanity that we
beautiful tapestry of humanity that we
beautiful tapestry of humanity that we are all connected
are all connected
are all connected in some way and I just think imagine how
in some way and I just think imagine how
in some way and I just think imagine how many possible points of connection you
many possible points of connection you
many possible points of connection you and I could have with each other if we
and I could have with each other if we
and I could have with each other if we better understood the places all over
better understood the places all over
better understood the places all over the world the times past present and
the world the times past present and
the world the times past present and future and the experiences whether those
future and the experiences whether those
future and the experiences whether those are good or bad that we inherit from our
are good or bad that we inherit from our
are good or bad that we inherit from our ancestors but my concern is this every
ancestors but my concern is this every
ancestors but my concern is this every day we lose hundreds and thousands of
day we lose hundreds and thousands of
day we lose hundreds and thousands of lives all over the world just think of
lives all over the world just think of
lives all over the world just think of how many stories and how many possible
how many stories and how many possible
how many stories and how many possible connections that we’ve lost just with me
connections that we’ve lost just with me
connections that we’ve lost just with me standing in front of you here today
standing in front of you here today
standing in front of you here today people always come up to me now and tell
people always come up to me now and tell
people always come up to me now and tell me that they wish that they had recorded
me that they wish that they had recorded
me that they wish that they had recorded these stories of their loved ones while
these stories of their loved ones while
these stories of their loved ones while they were alive or while their memories
they were alive or while their memories
they were alive or while their memories were still intact
were still intact
were still intact so what have you done to record your own
so what have you done to record your own
so what have you done to record your own legacy today and it’s the easiest thing
legacy today and it’s the easiest thing
legacy today and it’s the easiest thing to do go home and speak with a loved one
to do go home and speak with a loved one
to do go home and speak with a loved one find that crazy eccentric aunt or uncle
find that crazy eccentric aunt or uncle
find that crazy eccentric aunt or uncle or community member who really is like
or community member who really is like
or community member who really is like the informal historian own or documents
the informal historian own or documents
the informal historian own or documents your own story just turn your smartphone
your own story just turn your smartphone
your own story just turn your smartphone on record a conversation record a blurry
on record a conversation record a blurry
on record a conversation record a blurry video or scribble down some notes it
video or scribble down some notes it
video or scribble down some notes it really doesn’t have to be perfect and I
really doesn’t have to be perfect and I
really doesn’t have to be perfect and I promise you that you will begin to see
promise you that you will begin to see
promise you that you will begin to see the beauty in every message scroll
the beauty in every message scroll
the beauty in every message scroll across the back of a photograph or
across the back of a photograph or
across the back of a photograph or within all those letters that you may
within all those letters that you may
within all those letters that you may have inherited or when you uncover those
have inherited or when you uncover those
have inherited or when you uncover those facts that help you to better understand
facts that help you to better understand
facts that help you to better understand why somebody else made a decision just
why somebody else made a decision just
why somebody else made a decision just don’t wait for too long because the
don’t wait for too long because the
don’t wait for too long because the people that you love the ones whose
people that you love the ones whose
people that you love the ones whose stories in many ways define who you are
stories in many ways define who you are
stories in many ways define who you are and how you are connected to others in
and how you are connected to others in
and how you are connected to others in the world they won’t be around forever
the world they won’t be around forever
the world they won’t be around forever my grandmother is now it’s 7 years old
my grandmother is now it’s 7 years old
my grandmother is now it’s 7 years old and I still record her stories all the
and I still record her stories all the
and I still record her stories all the time do it the people who are around you
time do it the people who are around you
time do it the people who are around you and those who will come after you they
and those who will come after you they
and those who will come after you they will appreciate and cherish this really
will appreciate and cherish this really
will appreciate and cherish this really precious gift long after you’re gone
”
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