[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] new mom Michelle is 26 years old and
new mom Michelle is 26 years old and
new mom Michelle is 26 years old and recently welcomed her precious new
recently welcomed her precious new
recently welcomed her precious new daughter into the world as she looked
daughter into the world as she looked
daughter into the world as she looked down into baby Emily’s big blue eyes and
down into baby Emily’s big blue eyes and
down into baby Emily’s big blue eyes and dreamed of all the incredible journeys
dreamed of all the incredible journeys
dreamed of all the incredible journeys the 7 pounds 2 ounces grow up to
the 7 pounds 2 ounces grow up to
the 7 pounds 2 ounces grow up to experience she imagined her girl might
experience she imagined her girl might
experience she imagined her girl might become a ballerina a pediatrician or a
become a ballerina a pediatrician or a
become a ballerina a pediatrician or a teacher tears streaming down her face
teacher tears streaming down her face
teacher tears streaming down her face and she felt a sense of joy and
and she felt a sense of joy and
and she felt a sense of joy and boundless hope that new moms
boundless hope that new moms
boundless hope that new moms instinctively feel when they see their
instinctively feel when they see their
instinctively feel when they see their babies fresh full faces but Michelle’s
babies fresh full faces but Michelle’s
babies fresh full faces but Michelle’s tears are tinged with guilt and shame
tears are tinged with guilt and shame
tears are tinged with guilt and shame because she knows that before baby emily
because she knows that before baby emily
because she knows that before baby emily can grow up to become that pediatrician
can grow up to become that pediatrician
can grow up to become that pediatrician ballerina or teacher she must go through
ballerina or teacher she must go through
ballerina or teacher she must go through the excruciating process of withdrawing
the excruciating process of withdrawing
the excruciating process of withdrawing from heroin the Michelle didn’t start
from heroin the Michelle didn’t start
from heroin the Michelle didn’t start out using heroin and in fact she might
out using heroin and in fact she might
out using heroin and in fact she might not look like how you imagine a junkie
not look like how you imagine a junkie
not look like how you imagine a junkie looking but following a sports injury in
looking but following a sports injury in
looking but following a sports injury in college a doctor ordered prescription
college a doctor ordered prescription
college a doctor ordered prescription pain meds and Michelle was hooked when
pain meds and Michelle was hooked when
pain meds and Michelle was hooked when the meds ran out a co-worker offered to
the meds ran out a co-worker offered to
the meds ran out a co-worker offered to get her pills for a price and it wasn’t
get her pills for a price and it wasn’t
get her pills for a price and it wasn’t long before a friend told her about
long before a friend told her about
long before a friend told her about heroin it was so much cheaper and would
heroin it was so much cheaper and would
heroin it was so much cheaper and would make her feel even better than the pills
make her feel even better than the pills
make her feel even better than the pills well Michelle dropped out of college and
well Michelle dropped out of college and
well Michelle dropped out of college and after going through detox and treatment
after going through detox and treatment
after going through detox and treatment four times Michelle knows the agony of
four times Michelle knows the agony of
four times Michelle knows the agony of withdrawal and it’s the last thing she
withdrawal and it’s the last thing she
withdrawal and it’s the last thing she wants baby Emily to ever go through
wants baby Emily to ever go through
wants baby Emily to ever go through especially in her first days of life
especially in her first days of life
especially in her first days of life Michelle no is that because baby Emily
Michelle no is that because baby Emily
Michelle no is that because baby Emily is no longer receiving her daily doses
is no longer receiving her daily doses
is no longer receiving her daily doses of heroin she’ll soon start to exhibit
of heroin she’ll soon start to exhibit
of heroin she’ll soon start to exhibit the tell-tale signs of neonatal
the tell-tale signs of neonatal
the tell-tale signs of neonatal abstinence syndrome as her withdrawal
abstinence syndrome as her withdrawal
abstinence syndrome as her withdrawal sets in baby Emily will begin feeling in
sets in baby Emily will begin feeling in
sets in baby Emily will begin feeling in describable pain causing her to scream a
describable pain causing her to scream a
describable pain causing her to scream a telltale recognizable scream that make a
telltale recognizable scream that make a
telltale recognizable scream that make a 1/4 hour
1/4 hour
1/4 hour days maybe even weeks or months leaving
days maybe even weeks or months leaving
days maybe even weeks or months leaving her and her caregivers completely and
her and her caregivers completely and
her and her caregivers completely and utterly exhausted baby Emily will begin
utterly exhausted baby Emily will begin
utterly exhausted baby Emily will begin shaking in tremoring in describe ibly
shaking in tremoring in describe ibly
shaking in tremoring in describe ibly almost unbelievably and I want to show
almost unbelievably and I want to show
almost unbelievably and I want to show you this this is difficult to watch but
you this this is difficult to watch but
you this this is difficult to watch but it may look something like this this is
it may look something like this this is
it may look something like this this is not sped up or enhanced in any way this
not sped up or enhanced in any way this
not sped up or enhanced in any way this is the real-time tremor of a baby in
is the real-time tremor of a baby in
is the real-time tremor of a baby in withdrawal what we’re witnessing may go
withdrawal what we’re witnessing may go
withdrawal what we’re witnessing may go on for baby Emily in some fashion for
on for baby Emily in some fashion for
on for baby Emily in some fashion for months in addition to this tremor baby
months in addition to this tremor baby
months in addition to this tremor baby Emily will have a difficult time feeding
Emily will have a difficult time feeding
Emily will have a difficult time feeding because her nervous system is affected
because her nervous system is affected
because her nervous system is affected by her prenatal drug exposure maybe
by her prenatal drug exposure maybe
by her prenatal drug exposure maybe Emily may take a breath when she’s
Emily may take a breath when she’s
Emily may take a breath when she’s supposed to be swallowing her formula or
supposed to be swallowing her formula or
supposed to be swallowing her formula or swallow her formula when she’s supposed
swallow her formula when she’s supposed
swallow her formula when she’s supposed to be breathing much of what she does
to be breathing much of what she does
to be breathing much of what she does eat she’ll likely vomit contributing to
eat she’ll likely vomit contributing to
eat she’ll likely vomit contributing to poor weight gain the drugs and
poor weight gain the drugs and
poor weight gain the drugs and medication will leave her body through
medication will leave her body through
medication will leave her body through her stool causing diarrhea and horrible
her stool causing diarrhea and horrible
her stool causing diarrhea and horrible diaper rash only increasing her
diaper rash only increasing her
diaper rash only increasing her discomfort baby Emily will begin
discomfort baby Emily will begin
discomfort baby Emily will begin sweating as her body her tiny little
sweating as her body her tiny little
sweating as her body her tiny little body deals with the chemical withdrawal
body deals with the chemical withdrawal
body deals with the chemical withdrawal and as a response to the sudden removal
and as a response to the sudden removal
and as a response to the sudden removal of opiates baby Emily will begin to
of opiates baby Emily will begin to
of opiates baby Emily will begin to sneeze and sneeze and sneeze and not
sneeze and sneeze and sneeze and not
sneeze and sneeze and sneeze and not those cute little baby sneezes that we
those cute little baby sneezes that we
those cute little baby sneezes that we all find so adorable but repeated
all find so adorable but repeated
all find so adorable but repeated consistent relentless sneezing in an
consistent relentless sneezing in an
consistent relentless sneezing in an effort to soothe herself baby Emily will
effort to soothe herself baby Emily will
effort to soothe herself baby Emily will begin grasping and clawing at her own
begin grasping and clawing at her own
begin grasping and clawing at her own face causing her to leave marks on her
face causing her to leave marks on her
face causing her to leave marks on her skin and scratched her precious new
skin and scratched her precious new
skin and scratched her precious new cheeks which has now begun to model and
cheeks which has now begun to model and
cheeks which has now begun to model and the sign of her withdrawal to alleviate
the sign of her withdrawal to alleviate
the sign of her withdrawal to alleviate her symptoms doctors will admit baby
her symptoms doctors will admit baby
her symptoms doctors will admit baby emily to the neonatal intensive care
emily to the neonatal intensive care
emily to the neonatal intensive care unit and begin treating her with oral
unit and begin treating her with oral
unit and begin treating her with oral doses of methadone or morphine this two
doses of methadone or morphine this two
doses of methadone or morphine this two to three week treatment will relieve
to three week treatment will relieve
to three week treatment will relieve some of baby Emily’s unbearable achy
some of baby Emily’s unbearable achy
some of baby Emily’s unbearable achy an aide in her newborn recovery process
an aide in her newborn recovery process
an aide in her newborn recovery process between periods of caring for babies
between periods of caring for babies
between periods of caring for babies with higher acuity needs the nurses will
with higher acuity needs the nurses will
with higher acuity needs the nurses will swaddle and hold her whenever they can
swaddle and hold her whenever they can
swaddle and hold her whenever they can to comfort her and help her to know that
to comfort her and help her to know that
to comfort her and help her to know that she’s not alone during these frightening
she’s not alone during these frightening
she’s not alone during these frightening first days but she often falls to the
first days but she often falls to the
first days but she often falls to the bottom of their priority list because
bottom of their priority list because
bottom of their priority list because while her crying is intense and her
while her crying is intense and her
while her crying is intense and her needs are great they’re not immediately
needs are great they’re not immediately
needs are great they’re not immediately life-threatening so maybe Emily often
life-threatening so maybe Emily often
life-threatening so maybe Emily often waits for someone to hold her the
waits for someone to hold her the
waits for someone to hold her the Michelle wants to be by baby Emily’s
Michelle wants to be by baby Emily’s
Michelle wants to be by baby Emily’s side during this painful first journey
side during this painful first journey
side during this painful first journey but she’s bought into the lies that her
but she’s bought into the lies that her
but she’s bought into the lies that her disease tells her and she doesn’t come
disease tells her and she doesn’t come
disease tells her and she doesn’t come as often as she wants she Michelle
as often as she wants she Michelle
as often as she wants she Michelle believes the lie that she’s not worthy
believes the lie that she’s not worthy
believes the lie that she’s not worthy to be there with baby on the lean
to be there with baby on the lean
to be there with baby on the lean Michelle believes the lie that she
Michelle believes the lie that she
Michelle believes the lie that she wanted to do this to her baby and worst
wanted to do this to her baby and worst
wanted to do this to her baby and worst of all
of all
of all Michelle believes the lie that she must
Michelle believes the lie that she must
Michelle believes the lie that she must not love baby Emily if she allowed this
not love baby Emily if she allowed this
not love baby Emily if she allowed this to happen to her so her visits become
to happen to her so her visits become
to happen to her so her visits become fewer and farther between Michelle’s
fewer and farther between Michelle’s
fewer and farther between Michelle’s parents visit baby Emily every day and
parents visit baby Emily every day and
parents visit baby Emily every day and they tell anyone that will listen that
they tell anyone that will listen that
they tell anyone that will listen that addiction is a brain disorder that
addiction is a brain disorder that
addiction is a brain disorder that Michelle’s not some moral failure or
Michelle’s not some moral failure or
Michelle’s not some moral failure or worthless loser who chose drugs over her
worthless loser who chose drugs over her
worthless loser who chose drugs over her baby Michelle is as dependent on that
baby Michelle is as dependent on that
baby Michelle is as dependent on that chemical as baby emily is and she
chemical as baby emily is and she
chemical as baby emily is and she deserves the same compassion but they’re
deserves the same compassion but they’re
deserves the same compassion but they’re often met with a patronizing head nod or
often met with a patronizing head nod or
often met with a patronizing head nod or an uncomfortable side glance they begin
an uncomfortable side glance they begin
an uncomfortable side glance they begin to understand why Michelle stays away
to understand why Michelle stays away
to understand why Michelle stays away but today today is different today
but today today is different today
but today today is different today Michelle does go to the hospital to bond
Michelle does go to the hospital to bond
Michelle does go to the hospital to bond with baby Emily today Michelle chooses
with baby Emily today Michelle chooses
with baby Emily today Michelle chooses to believe the truth she is worthy of
to believe the truth she is worthy of
to believe the truth she is worthy of bonding with baby Emily Michelle wants
bonding with baby Emily Michelle wants
bonding with baby Emily Michelle wants baby Emily to grow up healthy and strong
baby Emily to grow up healthy and strong
baby Emily to grow up healthy and strong Michelle loves her baby
Michelle loves her baby
Michelle loves her baby you see Michelle story doesn’t have to
you see Michelle story doesn’t have to
you see Michelle story doesn’t have to end up on the 6 o’clock news and baby
end up on the 6 o’clock news and baby
end up on the 6 o’clock news and baby Emily doesn’t have to grow up fearing
Emily doesn’t have to grow up fearing
Emily doesn’t have to grow up fearing that her mother might not make it to her
that her mother might not make it to her
that her mother might not make it to her next birthday party what we know about
next birthday party what we know about
next birthday party what we know about baby Emily and the others like her born
baby Emily and the others like her born
baby Emily and the others like her born every
every
every five minutes in our country is that not
five minutes in our country is that not
five minutes in our country is that not all their stories and badly mine didn’t
all their stories and badly mine didn’t
all their stories and badly mine didn’t growing up with two addicted parents
growing up with two addicted parents
growing up with two addicted parents wasn’t an easy road for me or for anyone
wasn’t an easy road for me or for anyone
wasn’t an easy road for me or for anyone in my family but when my father reached
in my family but when my father reached
in my family but when my father reached out to me 17 years ago this very week to
out to me 17 years ago this very week to
out to me 17 years ago this very week to ask for help the assurance that he
ask for help the assurance that he
ask for help the assurance that he wasn’t alone in his journey is how my
wasn’t alone in his journey is how my
wasn’t alone in his journey is how my father’s been able to maintain his
father’s been able to maintain his
father’s been able to maintain his sobriety since that night in October of
sobriety since that night in October of
sobriety since that night in October of 1999 but he couldn’t have done it on his
1999 but he couldn’t have done it on his
1999 but he couldn’t have done it on his own and the michelle’s of this world
own and the michelle’s of this world
own and the michelle’s of this world can’t do it on their own either in their
can’t do it on their own either in their
can’t do it on their own either in their fight for recovery those who struggle
fight for recovery those who struggle
fight for recovery those who struggle with addiction needs support from their
with addiction needs support from their
with addiction needs support from their families their friends and their
families their friends and their
families their friends and their communities the increasing numbers of
communities the increasing numbers of
communities the increasing numbers of baby Emily’s in our society deserve to
baby Emily’s in our society deserve to
baby Emily’s in our society deserve to have teachers neighbors clergy and
have teachers neighbors clergy and
have teachers neighbors clergy and lawmakers who understand that addiction
lawmakers who understand that addiction
lawmakers who understand that addiction affects far more than just the addict
affects far more than just the addict
affects far more than just the addict see this is no longer someone else’s
see this is no longer someone else’s
see this is no longer someone else’s problem we are all affected by this and
problem we are all affected by this and
problem we are all affected by this and we each have a role to play in the
we each have a role to play in the
we each have a role to play in the solution so today I stand before you as
solution so today I stand before you as
solution so today I stand before you as a grown-up baby Emily and I ask you to
a grown-up baby Emily and I ask you to
a grown-up baby Emily and I ask you to search your hearts for the answer to
search your hearts for the answer to
search your hearts for the answer to this what is your role and more
this what is your role and more
this what is your role and more importantly are you willing to play it
”
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