we all know what a heartbeat feels like if you put your hand on your chest you
if you put your hand on your chest you
if you put your hand on your chest you can feel the soft boom boom boom boom
can feel the soft boom boom boom boom
can feel the soft boom boom boom boom boom boom of your heart beating
boom boom of your heart beating
boom boom of your heart beating rhythmically on average a heart beats 80
rhythmically on average a heart beats 80
rhythmically on average a heart beats 80 times in a minute four thousand eight
times in a minute four thousand eight
times in a minute four thousand eight hundred times in an hour
hundred times in an hour
hundred times in an hour and 115 thousand two hundred times in a
and 115 thousand two hundred times in a
and 115 thousand two hundred times in a day it is such a natural occurrence that
day it is such a natural occurrence that
day it is such a natural occurrence that most of the time we don’t even recognize
most of the time we don’t even recognize
most of the time we don’t even recognize that it is beating it just keeps pulsing
that it is beating it just keeps pulsing
that it is beating it just keeps pulsing under the radar working in perfect
under the radar working in perfect
under the radar working in perfect harmony with the rest of your body
harmony with the rest of your body
harmony with the rest of your body however this is not the case for me if
however this is not the case for me if
however this is not the case for me if any of you have ever been in a room with
any of you have ever been in a room with
any of you have ever been in a room with me before when it was quiet
me before when it was quiet
me before when it was quiet you may have heard a loud and uneven
you may have heard a loud and uneven
you may have heard a loud and uneven ticking that sounded like a faulty clock
ticking that sounded like a faulty clock
ticking that sounded like a faulty clock you’re probably wondering what that
you’re probably wondering what that
you’re probably wondering what that ticking was and I’m here to tell you
ticking was and I’m here to tell you
ticking was and I’m here to tell you that what you heard was my heart it’s
that what you heard was my heart it’s
that what you heard was my heart it’s loud metallic ticking and frequent
loud metallic ticking and frequent
loud metallic ticking and frequent arrhythmias sound like a funky drumbeat
arrhythmias sound like a funky drumbeat
arrhythmias sound like a funky drumbeat and although that’s pretty cool it is
and although that’s pretty cool it is
and although that’s pretty cool it is still a daily reminder that I have to
still a daily reminder that I have to
still a daily reminder that I have to metal heart valve implants you guys
metal heart valve implants you guys
metal heart valve implants you guys should have heard it a min ago it
should have heard it a min ago it
should have heard it a min ago it sounded like a reggae beat or something
sounded like a reggae beat or something
sounded like a reggae beat or something it was crazy
it was crazy
it was crazy fouls have an essential function in your
fouls have an essential function in your
fouls have an essential function in your heart because they regulate the flow of
heart because they regulate the flow of
heart because they regulate the flow of blood to places around your body they
blood to places around your body they
blood to places around your body they act as a barrier that opens slept loud
act as a barrier that opens slept loud
act as a barrier that opens slept loud through and closes to prevent blood from
through and closes to prevent blood from
through and closes to prevent blood from flowing back I was born with congenital
flowing back I was born with congenital
flowing back I was born with congenital heart disease and a defect where one of
heart disease and a defect where one of
heart disease and a defect where one of my heart valves was not opening and
my heart valves was not opening and
my heart valves was not opening and closing properly by the time that I was
closing properly by the time that I was
closing properly by the time that I was 18 months old I had three open-heart
18 months old I had three open-heart
18 months old I had three open-heart surgeries and the attempt to repair my
surgeries and the attempt to repair my
surgeries and the attempt to repair my valves despite the efforts of the
valves despite the efforts of the
valves despite the efforts of the cardiac surgery surgeons my heart
cardiac surgery surgeons my heart
cardiac surgery surgeons my heart disease continued to worsen now two of
disease continued to worsen now two of
disease continued to worsen now two of my heart valves were damaged and I went
my heart valves were damaged and I went
my heart valves were damaged and I went into heart failure unusual for my age it
into heart failure unusual for my age it
into heart failure unusual for my age it was decided that the best course of
was decided that the best course of
was decided that the best course of action was to replace my damaged valves
action was to replace my damaged valves
action was to replace my damaged valves with two artificial mechanical heart
with two artificial mechanical heart
with two artificial mechanical heart valves I was lucky enough to have been
valves I was lucky enough to have been
valves I was lucky enough to have been fitted from the work of researchers at
fitted from the work of researchers at
fitted from the work of researchers at st. Jude’s Hospital who designed these
st. Jude’s Hospital who designed these
st. Jude’s Hospital who designed these miniature heart valves for children like
miniature heart valves for children like
miniature heart valves for children like me now these valves while I saved my
me now these valves while I saved my
me now these valves while I saved my life came with one major drawback it is
life came with one major drawback it is
life came with one major drawback it is very easy for potentially fatal blood
very easy for potentially fatal blood
very easy for potentially fatal blood clots to accumulate on these valves when
clots to accumulate on these valves when
clots to accumulate on these valves when I was younger a small blood clot formed
I was younger a small blood clot formed
I was younger a small blood clot formed on one of my valves and traveled to my
on one of my valves and traveled to my
on one of my valves and traveled to my brain causing me to have a minor stroke
brain causing me to have a minor stroke
brain causing me to have a minor stroke in order to prevent these blood clots
in order to prevent these blood clots
in order to prevent these blood clots from happening I was put on a drug
from happening I was put on a drug
from happening I was put on a drug called sodium warfarin which as it turns
called sodium warfarin which as it turns
called sodium warfarin which as it turns out is also rat poison since I was
out is also rat poison since I was
out is also rat poison since I was younger since I was 2 rather my parents
younger since I was 2 rather my parents
younger since I was 2 rather my parents have been feeding me rat poison every
have been feeding me rat poison every
have been feeding me rat poison every single night which is just really really
single night which is just really really
single night which is just really really encouraging but having thin blood leaves
encouraging but having thin blood leaves
encouraging but having thin blood leaves me susceptible to serious bruising and
me susceptible to serious bruising and
me susceptible to serious bruising and internal bleeding this meant that there
internal bleeding this meant that there
internal bleeding this meant that there must be serious restrictions on things
must be serious restrictions on things
must be serious restrictions on things that I was able to do in order to
that I was able to do in order to
that I was able to do in order to prevent any bleeding in my head or chest
prevent any bleeding in my head or chest
prevent any bleeding in my head or chest so basically I spent the beginning of my
so basically I spent the beginning of my
so basically I spent the beginning of my life running around in a helmet this
life running around in a helmet this
life running around in a helmet this drug is typically given to older people
drug is typically given to older people
drug is typically given to older people so it gets a lot more complicated when
so it gets a lot more complicated when
so it gets a lot more complicated when you give it to an active child case in
you give it to an active child case in
you give it to an active child case in point
point
point my first play date with my new friend
my first play date with my new friend
my first play date with my new friend Eli in kindergarten we decided that it
Eli in kindergarten we decided that it
Eli in kindergarten we decided that it would be a great idea to hit each other
would be a great idea to hit each other
would be a great idea to hit each other over the head with big blowout plastic
over the head with big blowout plastic
over the head with big blowout plastic bats we were having a great time until
bats we were having a great time until
bats we were having a great time until the seam of the bat just happened to
the seam of the bat just happened to
the seam of the bat just happened to Nick the side of my lower lip and slice
Nick the side of my lower lip and slice
Nick the side of my lower lip and slice a tiny cut 18 hours later I found myself
a tiny cut 18 hours later I found myself
a tiny cut 18 hours later I found myself still bleeding in the emergency room and
still bleeding in the emergency room and
still bleeding in the emergency room and wanting off my mom was ever gonna let me
wanting off my mom was ever gonna let me
wanting off my mom was ever gonna let me hang out with Eli again
hang out with Eli again
hang out with Eli again this moment emphasized that if I could
this moment emphasized that if I could
this moment emphasized that if I could bleed this easily from a small cut there
bleed this easily from a small cut there
bleed this easily from a small cut there needed to be serious restrictions on the
needed to be serious restrictions on the
needed to be serious restrictions on the activities that I was able to do I have
activities that I was able to do I have
activities that I was able to do I have always been a huge fan of sports when I
always been a huge fan of sports when I
always been a huge fan of sports when I was younger I jumped of being a
was younger I jumped of being a
was younger I jumped of being a professional sports player a football
professional sports player a football
professional sports player a football player or a basketball player or soccer
player or a basketball player or soccer
player or a basketball player or soccer player
player
player it didn’t matter I just knew that I
it didn’t matter I just knew that I
it didn’t matter I just knew that I wanted to play sports I would frequently
wanted to play sports I would frequently
wanted to play sports I would frequently run around my house in a football
run around my house in a football
run around my house in a football uniform and helmet throwing the ball
uniform and helmet throwing the ball
uniform and helmet throwing the ball back and forth to myself I was
back and forth to myself I was
back and forth to myself I was determined to work hard and become the
determined to work hard and become the
determined to work hard and become the best player that I possibly could be but
best player that I possibly could be but
best player that I possibly could be but during annual checkups with my
during annual checkups with my
during annual checkups with my cardiologists the older that I got the
cardiologists the older that I got the
cardiologists the older that I got the more I began to understand that the
more I began to understand that the
more I began to understand that the possibilities of me playing contact
possibilities of me playing contact
possibilities of me playing contact sports was dwindling I can clearly
sports was dwindling I can clearly
sports was dwindling I can clearly remember going to an appointment and
remember going to an appointment and
remember going to an appointment and hearing what at the time was exactly
hearing what at the time was exactly
hearing what at the time was exactly what I was hoping I would never hear I
what I was hoping I would never hear I
what I was hoping I would never hear I could not play any sports with physical
could not play any sports with physical
could not play any sports with physical contact because of the fear that I would
contact because of the fear that I would
contact because of the fear that I would experience serious bruising and bleeding
experience serious bruising and bleeding
experience serious bruising and bleeding my doctor told me I could play golf
my doctor told me I could play golf
my doctor told me I could play golf really I mean no offense to golf but
really I mean no offense to golf but
really I mean no offense to golf but that was it
that was it
that was it he said maybe tennis and if I wanted to
he said maybe tennis and if I wanted to
he said maybe tennis and if I wanted to play baseball I’d need to wear a heart
play baseball I’d need to wear a heart
play baseball I’d need to wear a heart guard and be very careful about
guard and be very careful about
guard and be very careful about protecting myself from the ball this
protecting myself from the ball this
protecting myself from the ball this news devastated me
news devastated me
news devastated me I wanted to play football soccer hockey
I wanted to play football soccer hockey
I wanted to play football soccer hockey basketball and I really thought that I’d
basketball and I really thought that I’d
basketball and I really thought that I’d be good at it I can remember being angry
be good at it I can remember being angry
be good at it I can remember being angry at my parents angry at my cardiologists
at my parents angry at my cardiologists
at my parents angry at my cardiologists and angry at the situation that I was in
and angry at the situation that I was in
and angry at the situation that I was in even though I knew that they were right
even though I knew that they were right
even though I knew that they were right and the reason that I was so angry is
and the reason that I was so angry is
and the reason that I was so angry is because I was never given an opportunity
because I was never given an opportunity
because I was never given an opportunity to see if I was any good at it I
to see if I was any good at it I
to see if I was any good at it I understood that there were some things I
understood that there were some things I
understood that there were some things I was just bad at and then I was never
was just bad at and then I was never
was just bad at and then I was never going to be able to do well but having
going to be able to do well but having
going to be able to do well but having someone else tell you you can’t do what
someone else tell you you can’t do what
someone else tell you you can’t do what you’re passionate about because
you’re passionate about because
you’re passionate about because something is wrong with you is a feeling
something is wrong with you is a feeling
something is wrong with you is a feeling that I’ll never forget when I was in
that I’ll never forget when I was in
that I’ll never forget when I was in middle school since I wasn’t playing any
middle school since I wasn’t playing any
middle school since I wasn’t playing any of the sports that I had hoped to I
of the sports that I had hoped to I
of the sports that I had hoped to I began to play a lot of music I played
began to play a lot of music I played
began to play a lot of music I played the cello for a very long time but I
the cello for a very long time but I
the cello for a very long time but I began to branch out and play other
began to branch out and play other
began to branch out and play other instruments such as the piano tuba bass
instruments such as the piano tuba bass
instruments such as the piano tuba bass and guitar I joined the middle school
and guitar I joined the middle school
and guitar I joined the middle school jazz band playing the electric bass and
jazz band playing the electric bass and
jazz band playing the electric bass and soon after switched to upright I also
soon after switched to upright I also
soon after switched to upright I also still wanted to be involved in as many
still wanted to be involved in as many
still wanted to be involved in as many sports as I possibly could have been and
sports as I possibly could have been and
sports as I possibly could have been and so I convinced my parents of my doctor
so I convinced my parents of my doctor
so I convinced my parents of my doctor into letting me play on the middle
into letting me play on the middle
into letting me play on the middle school tennis team I played maybe two
school tennis team I played maybe two
school tennis team I played maybe two weeks of tennis in my entire life and I
weeks of tennis in my entire life and I
weeks of tennis in my entire life and I partly just joined to participate on any
partly just joined to participate on any
partly just joined to participate on any sports team but after a few weeks of
sports team but after a few weeks of
sports team but after a few weeks of playing I realized that I really enjoyed
playing I realized that I really enjoyed
playing I realized that I really enjoyed it and that I had the potential to be a
it and that I had the potential to be a
it and that I had the potential to be a decent player heart disease or not I was
decent player heart disease or not I was
decent player heart disease or not I was able to compete at the highest level
able to compete at the highest level
able to compete at the highest level that I could something that was new to
that I could something that was new to
that I could something that was new to me I never thought that I was going to
me I never thought that I was going to
me I never thought that I was going to be a tennis player and in fact it
be a tennis player and in fact it
be a tennis player and in fact it probably would have been one of my last
probably would have been one of my last
probably would have been one of my last choices for a sport but I enjoy it and I
choices for a sport but I enjoy it and I
choices for a sport but I enjoy it and I enjoy playing music two things I never
enjoy playing music two things I never
enjoy playing music two things I never would have imagined myself doing I don’t
would have imagined myself doing I don’t
would have imagined myself doing I don’t usually tell many people about my heart
usually tell many people about my heart
usually tell many people about my heart disease and that is not because I’m
disease and that is not because I’m
disease and that is not because I’m ashamed of it or because I’m trying to
ashamed of it or because I’m trying to
ashamed of it or because I’m trying to hide it but I don’t want these
hide it but I don’t want these
hide it but I don’t want these restrictions to define who I am I don’t
restrictions to define who I am I don’t
restrictions to define who I am I don’t want people to think that I need special
want people to think that I need special
want people to think that I need special treatment and I don’t want people to
treatment and I don’t want people to
treatment and I don’t want people to feel sorry for me because I don’t feel
feel sorry for me because I don’t feel
feel sorry for me because I don’t feel sorry for myself after five open-heart
sorry for myself after five open-heart
sorry for myself after five open-heart surgeries
surgeries
surgeries I’m choosing not to phone
I’m choosing not to phone
I’m choosing not to phone kiss on my restrictions and although I
kiss on my restrictions and although I
kiss on my restrictions and although I never would have chosen to have heart
never would have chosen to have heart
never would have chosen to have heart disease in a way I’m appreciative
disease in a way I’m appreciative
disease in a way I’m appreciative because it led me to become a skilled
because it led me to become a skilled
because it led me to become a skilled musician and to enjoy a sport that I now
musician and to enjoy a sport that I now
musician and to enjoy a sport that I now love we all have aspirations and goals
love we all have aspirations and goals
love we all have aspirations and goals that we so badly want to pursue but
that we so badly want to pursue but
that we so badly want to pursue but sometimes they just don’t pan out the
sometimes they just don’t pan out the
sometimes they just don’t pan out the way we had planned for anyone who’s
way we had planned for anyone who’s
way we had planned for anyone who’s struggling with something or something
struggling with something or something
struggling with something or something is holding you back don’t let it define
is holding you back don’t let it define
is holding you back don’t let it define who you are and don’t let it consume you
who you are and don’t let it consume you
who you are and don’t let it consume you we can all accomplish amazing things
we can all accomplish amazing things
we can all accomplish amazing things despite our struggles and restrictions
despite our struggles and restrictions
despite our struggles and restrictions and those things aren’t always what
and those things aren’t always what
and those things aren’t always what you’d expect them to be there’s this
you’d expect them to be there’s this
you’d expect them to be there’s this quote from author Jack London that
quote from author Jack London that
quote from author Jack London that really resonates with me that says life
really resonates with me that says life
really resonates with me that says life is not always a matter of holding good
is not always a matter of holding good
is not always a matter of holding good cards but sometimes playing a poor hand
cards but sometimes playing a poor hand
cards but sometimes playing a poor hand well thank you
well thank you
well thank you [Applause]
”
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