I want you to know I’ve been feeling a lot thirty minutes ago is out my car
lot thirty minutes ago is out my car
lot thirty minutes ago is out my car with a wife and I was just crying you
with a wife and I was just crying you
with a wife and I was just crying you know you’re one of those divine moments
know you’re one of those divine moments
know you’re one of those divine moments when you feel something bigger than
when you feel something bigger than
when you feel something bigger than yourself right yeah feel that right now
yourself right yeah feel that right now
yourself right yeah feel that right now they’re all a part of something really
they’re all a part of something really
they’re all a part of something really big I just want you to breathe into that
this TED guys pretty cool at knee I
this TED guys pretty cool at knee I [Music]
[Music]
[Music] don’t know who he is but man that guy’s
don’t know who he is but man that guy’s
don’t know who he is but man that guy’s got me feeling for the last month that
got me feeling for the last month that
got me feeling for the last month that I’ve known that I’m gonna be up here on
I’ve known that I’m gonna be up here on
I’ve known that I’m gonna be up here on this stage all I can do is cry so he’s
this stage all I can do is cry so he’s
this stage all I can do is cry so he’s got some voodoo that I want to know
got some voodoo that I want to know
got some voodoo that I want to know about so whoever you are Ted thank you
[Laughter]
[Laughter] really for the last month I’ve I felt
really for the last month I’ve I felt
really for the last month I’ve I felt scared like I felt terrified
scared like I felt terrified
scared like I felt terrified I felt frightened terrorized was that in
I felt frightened terrorized was that in
I felt frightened terrorized was that in the cart way no okay that was this this
the cart way no okay that was this this
the cart way no okay that was this this month I have felt that I felt inspired I
month I have felt that I felt inspired I
month I have felt that I felt inspired I felt so powerful and not like that you
felt so powerful and not like that you
felt so powerful and not like that you going power you know but like authentic
going power you know but like authentic
going power you know but like authentic power from the inside out
power from the inside out
power from the inside out I felt that so I just want to honor in
I felt that so I just want to honor in
I felt that so I just want to honor in this place feeling like I want to honor
this place feeling like I want to honor
this place feeling like I want to honor being from West Texas and feeling
being from West Texas and feeling
being from West Texas and feeling [Music]
[Music]
[Music] I am the son of a bull rider yes I am
I am the son of a bull rider yes I am
I am the son of a bull rider yes I am and I am up here feeling before you and
and I am up here feeling before you and
and I am up here feeling before you and that is a miracle in itself and that is
that is a miracle in itself and that is
that is a miracle in itself and that is the wind but I have been feeling and I
the wind but I have been feeling and I
the wind but I have been feeling and I want to honor feeling in this place
because for so long what I did was more
because for so long what I did was more important than how I felt the vision was
important than how I felt the vision was
important than how I felt the vision was more important than the visionary the
more important than the visionary the
more important than the visionary the hustle was more important than my little
hustle was more important than my little
hustle was more important than my little heart I grinded and I worked and I ever
heart I grinded and I worked and I ever
heart I grinded and I worked and I ever did and I struggled but not today
did and I struggled but not today
did and I struggled but not today today I will be a safe place for my
today I will be a safe place for my
today I will be a safe place for my heart it doesn’t matter I don’t give a
heart it doesn’t matter I don’t give a
heart it doesn’t matter I don’t give a about this talk I don’t I really
about this talk I don’t I really
about this talk I don’t I really don’t like I it is about my heart yeah
don’t like I it is about my heart yeah
don’t like I it is about my heart yeah and I’m gonna stand for my heart I’m
and I’m gonna stand for my heart I’m
and I’m gonna stand for my heart I’m gonna stand strong for my heart and I’m
gonna stand strong for my heart and I’m
gonna stand strong for my heart and I’m not gonna bypass my heart and give
not gonna bypass my heart and give
not gonna bypass my heart and give beyond my capacity and my capacity for
beyond my capacity and my capacity for
beyond my capacity and my capacity for this talk was to sit up here and feel it
this talk was to sit up here and feel it
this talk was to sit up here and feel it was to feel me and to feel you and to
was to feel me and to feel you and to
was to feel me and to feel you and to feel the world
feelings healing y’all and there’s a lot
feelings healing y’all and there’s a lot of healing happening inside of me it’s
of healing happening inside of me it’s
of healing happening inside of me it’s been a lot of my life looking really
been a lot of my life looking really
been a lot of my life looking really good externally but on the inside my
good externally but on the inside my
good externally but on the inside my heart felt orphaned do y’all know the
heart felt orphaned do y’all know the
heart felt orphaned do y’all know the definition of the orphan heart it’s a
definition of the orphan heart it’s a
definition of the orphan heart it’s a heart that does not feel protected and
heart that does not feel protected and
heart that does not feel protected and provided for it is a heart that does not
provided for it is a heart that does not
provided for it is a heart that does not feel safe and secure and we in this
feel safe and secure and we in this
feel safe and secure and we in this first world have had our survival needs
first world have had our survival needs
first world have had our survival needs met many times over nobody’s leaving
met many times over nobody’s leaving
met many times over nobody’s leaving here wondering if they’re gonna have
here wondering if they’re gonna have
here wondering if they’re gonna have food and if you are talk to me we can
food and if you are talk to me we can
food and if you are talk to me we can get you some food in our first world the
get you some food in our first world the
get you some food in our first world the new epidemic is emotional abandonment
there’s a generation that’s speaking to
there’s a generation that’s speaking to us that’s letting us know that emotional
us that’s letting us know that emotional
us that’s letting us know that emotional abandonment is abuse – it is and I can
abandonment is abuse – it is and I can
abandonment is abuse – it is and I can just hear my little West Texas
just hear my little West Texas
just hear my little West Texas culturally programmed voice going oh
culturally programmed voice going oh
culturally programmed voice going oh come on now you just gotta suck it up
come on now you just gotta suck it up
come on now you just gotta suck it up you sissy why are you even talking that
you sissy why are you even talking that
you sissy why are you even talking that abuse language no it’s the real deal
abuse language no it’s the real deal
abuse language no it’s the real deal it’s a serious issue your heart getting
it’s a serious issue your heart getting
it’s a serious issue your heart getting bypass to produce a result so that your
bypass to produce a result so that your
bypass to produce a result so that your parents did not have to feel their
parents did not have to feel their
parents did not have to feel their feelings is not cool not cool
feelings is not cool not cool
feelings is not cool not cool right you performing your little ass off
right you performing your little ass off
right you performing your little ass off so that your parents could feel better
so that your parents could feel better
so that your parents could feel better about themselves and they’re identify
we’re afraid of being afraid right we’ve
we’re afraid of being afraid right we’ve been scared to feel but today not just
been scared to feel but today not just
been scared to feel but today not just me all of us we’re in this together you
me all of us we’re in this together you
me all of us we’re in this together you can feel it right we’re taking a stand
can feel it right we’re taking a stand
can feel it right we’re taking a stand for Humanity yeah we’re taking a stand
for Humanity yeah we’re taking a stand
for Humanity yeah we’re taking a stand for Humanity and that our production our
for Humanity and that our production our
for Humanity and that our production our performance our hustling will not come
performance our hustling will not come
performance our hustling will not come at the cost of our heart and the the
at the cost of our heart and the the
at the cost of our heart and the the outside-in methodology is done today you
outside-in methodology is done today you
outside-in methodology is done today you hear that that approach can tell you a
hear that that approach can tell you a
hear that that approach can tell you a little bit about me
grew up in Clyde Texas probably never
grew up in Clyde Texas probably never heard of it yeah outside of Abilene yeah
heard of it yeah outside of Abilene yeah
heard of it yeah outside of Abilene yeah that big town of 3,000 people like I
that big town of 3,000 people like I
that big town of 3,000 people like I said son of a bull rider and a beauty
said son of a bull rider and a beauty
said son of a bull rider and a beauty queen we met at the Ector County rodeo
queen we met at the Ector County rodeo
queen we met at the Ector County rodeo Odessa Texas and I just want to honor my
Odessa Texas and I just want to honor my
Odessa Texas and I just want to honor my dad right now
every isn’t love you I’m so thankful for
every isn’t love you I’m so thankful for you thank you for being relevant to my
you thank you for being relevant to my
you thank you for being relevant to my heart and he hasn’t always been relevant
heart and he hasn’t always been relevant
heart and he hasn’t always been relevant to my heart thank you for moving beyond
to my heart thank you for moving beyond
to my heart thank you for moving beyond doctrinal agreement and into a place of
doctrinal agreement and into a place of
doctrinal agreement and into a place of acceptance and understanding love has
acceptance and understanding love has
acceptance and understanding love has changed thank you I was nine years old I
changed thank you I was nine years old I
changed thank you I was nine years old I was playing with the 11 and 12 year olds
was playing with the 11 and 12 year olds
was playing with the 11 and 12 year olds on my brother’s team it was kind of a
on my brother’s team it was kind of a
on my brother’s team it was kind of a humble brag playing baseball Clyde
humble brag playing baseball Clyde
humble brag playing baseball Clyde Little League ballpark it was opening
Little League ballpark it was opening
Little League ballpark it was opening day I’m leadoff batter as a
day I’m leadoff batter as a
day I’m leadoff batter as a nine-year-old with 11 and 12 girls did I
nine-year-old with 11 and 12 girls did I
nine-year-old with 11 and 12 girls did I say that I was leadoff batter and Big
say that I was leadoff batter and Big
say that I was leadoff batter and Big John Sean was on the mound John Sean
John Sean was on the mound John Sean
John Sean was on the mound John Sean Young and the third-base coach gave me
Young and the third-base coach gave me
Young and the third-base coach gave me the take sign and for some of you non
the take sign and for some of you non
the take sign and for some of you non baseballers that means not not swing and
baseballers that means not not swing and
baseballers that means not not swing and sure enough what did i do first pitch
sure enough what did i do first pitch
sure enough what did i do first pitch yeah I swung popped it up catcher caught
yeah I swung popped it up catcher caught
yeah I swung popped it up catcher caught it I was out and I slammed my bat on the
it I was out and I slammed my bat on the
it I was out and I slammed my bat on the ground and I started crying my dad was
ground and I started crying my dad was
ground and I started crying my dad was the first base coach
the first base coach
the first base coach my dad said Randy dry it up and get your
my dad said Randy dry it up and get your
my dad said Randy dry it up and get your ass in the dugout for some of you that
ass in the dugout for some of you that
ass in the dugout for some of you that do not speak West Texan
dried up means stop crying
dried up means stop crying and hit home runs yeah so home runs I
and hit home runs yeah so home runs I
and hit home runs yeah so home runs I hit grand slams actually the age of 17
hit grand slams actually the age of 17
hit grand slams actually the age of 17 was a international tennis player at the
was a international tennis player at the
was a international tennis player at the age of 70 no one around in the main draw
age of 70 no one around in the main draw
age of 70 no one around in the main draw of the US Open and at the age of 20 I
of the US Open and at the age of 20 I
of the US Open and at the age of 20 I accomplished a dream that I had since a
accomplished a dream that I had since a
accomplished a dream that I had since a little boy and that was to play in
little boy and that was to play in
little boy and that was to play in Wimbledon and I did it that moment was
Wimbledon and I did it that moment was
Wimbledon and I did it that moment was such a beautiful gift for me not because
such a beautiful gift for me not because
such a beautiful gift for me not because of why you may think because it was a
of why you may think because it was a
of why you may think because it was a real moment of celebration it was not a
real moment of celebration it was not a
real moment of celebration it was not a real moment of celebration for me it was
real moment of celebration for me it was
real moment of celebration for me it was a moment that all of my pain came out it
a moment that all of my pain came out it
a moment that all of my pain came out it was a moment that I saw that the outside
was a moment that I saw that the outside
was a moment that I saw that the outside does not fix the inside I got to see
does not fix the inside I got to see
does not fix the inside I got to see that from 8 to 20 by passing my heart
that from 8 to 20 by passing my heart
that from 8 to 20 by passing my heart over and over and over and over it
over and over and over and over it
over and over and over and over it catches up with you somewhere and it
catches up with you somewhere and it
catches up with you somewhere and it caught up with me that night and I had
caught up with me that night and I had
caught up with me that night and I had to feel all those feelings and since
to feel all those feelings and since
to feel all those feelings and since that day I’ve been on a journey of
that day I’ve been on a journey of
that day I’ve been on a journey of feeling I’ve been on a journey of
feeling I’ve been on a journey of
feeling I’ve been on a journey of healing just like all of you
very thankful for that day because like
very thankful for that day because like I said it is a broken methodology the
I said it is a broken methodology the
I said it is a broken methodology the outside in approach I feel like there’s
outside in approach I feel like there’s
outside in approach I feel like there’s a group of people who are brave enough
a group of people who are brave enough
a group of people who are brave enough to put down the hustle put down the
to put down the hustle put down the
to put down the hustle put down the grind and really take a chance on their
grind and really take a chance on their
grind and really take a chance on their heart don’t we all want to know if our
heart don’t we all want to know if our
heart don’t we all want to know if our heart will provide for us right don’t we
heart will provide for us right don’t we
heart will provide for us right don’t we all want to know that don’t we all want
all want to know that don’t we all want
all want to know that don’t we all want to know that like can it really be this
to know that like can it really be this
to know that like can it really be this good can it really be true and you know
good can it really be true and you know
good can it really be true and you know what I’m just getting like a glimpse it
what I’m just getting like a glimpse it
what I’m just getting like a glimpse it can like it can my wife she’s amazing
can like it can my wife she’s amazing
can like it can my wife she’s amazing been together since we were 16 16 and 17
been together since we were 16 16 and 17
been together since we were 16 16 and 17 20 years I would have found her wherever
20 years I would have found her wherever
20 years I would have found her wherever even if we didn’t grow up in the same
even if we didn’t grow up in the same
even if we didn’t grow up in the same area I would have found you Jen every
area I would have found you Jen every
area I would have found you Jen every turn we’ve been letting go right the
turn we’ve been letting go right the
turn we’ve been letting go right the most tender impulse of the heart is to
most tender impulse of the heart is to
most tender impulse of the heart is to let go it’s to let go when you want to
let go it’s to let go when you want to
let go it’s to let go when you want to hold on the most what do you do do you
hold on the most what do you do do you
hold on the most what do you do do you squeeze the bunny know you’d let go and
squeeze the bunny know you’d let go and
squeeze the bunny know you’d let go and we’ve been a part of some really cool
we’ve been a part of some really cool
we’ve been a part of some really cool stuff I’ve seen your pastor of a large
stuff I’ve seen your pastor of a large
stuff I’ve seen your pastor of a large congregation growing congregation in
congregation growing congregation in
congregation growing congregation in Texas 500 members as we started to
Texas 500 members as we started to
Texas 500 members as we started to transform and deconstruct we’d let go of
transform and deconstruct we’d let go of
transform and deconstruct we’d let go of that and if you want to know how to like
if you want to know how to shrink a
if you want to know how to shrink a church you can just talk to me
yeah yeah I was pretty effective at that
yeah yeah I was pretty effective at that what you do is you you stop the program
what you do is you you stop the program
what you do is you you stop the program the programs and and and you stop the
the programs and and and you stop the
the programs and and and you stop the four songs and a sermon and you just
four songs and a sermon and you just
four songs and a sermon and you just bring everybody together to have real
bring everybody together to have real
bring everybody together to have real conversations around their pain because
conversations around their pain because
conversations around their pain because how many of you know that we grew up in
how many of you know that we grew up in
how many of you know that we grew up in homes where pain as the enemy and I want
homes where pain as the enemy and I want
homes where pain as the enemy and I want you to know that pain is not your enemy
you to know that pain is not your enemy
you to know that pain is not your enemy it’s the denial of pain that has been
it’s the denial of pain that has been
it’s the denial of pain that has been your enemy and I’m talking about
your enemy and I’m talking about
your enemy and I’m talking about emotional pain it is not your enemy can
emotional pain it is not your enemy can
emotional pain it is not your enemy can you feel that there’s liberation in
you feel that there’s liberation in
you feel that there’s liberation in feeling all that needs to be felt
feeling all that needs to be felt
feeling all that needs to be felt there’s great power in feeling all that
there’s great power in feeling all that
there’s great power in feeling all that needs to be felt we were taught what to
needs to be felt we were taught what to
needs to be felt we were taught what to dried up we were taught to be good girls
dried up we were taught to be good girls
dried up we were taught to be good girls we were taught to what look good when
we were taught to what look good when
we were taught to what look good when we’re in the grocery store don’t throw
we’re in the grocery store don’t throw
we’re in the grocery store don’t throw that fit that is wrong that is
that fit that is wrong that is
that fit that is wrong that is irresponsible and here’s what I want to
irresponsible and here’s what I want to
irresponsible and here’s what I want to encourage you with be irresponsible be
encourage you with be irresponsible be
encourage you with be irresponsible be messy like me really miss like
messy like me really miss like
messy like me really miss like the hearts messy right because we know
the hearts messy right because we know
the hearts messy right because we know what’s at the top
what’s at the top
what’s at the top you can’t selectively open your heart
you can’t selectively open your heart
you can’t selectively open your heart can you if you’re gonna open your heart
can you if you’re gonna open your heart
can you if you’re gonna open your heart to joy and to bliss and to peace you
to joy and to bliss and to peace you
to joy and to bliss and to peace you have to open your heart to pain and at
have to open your heart to pain and at
have to open your heart to pain and at the top layer of the heart is what it’s
the top layer of the heart is what it’s
the top layer of the heart is what it’s anger or surface frustration or anger
anger or surface frustration or anger
anger or surface frustration or anger turned inward which is called depression
turned inward which is called depression
turned inward which is called depression and as a society have we’ve been very
and as a society have we’ve been very
and as a society have we’ve been very good with anger
good with anger
good with anger have we been very good let me say this
have we been very good let me say this
have we been very good let me say this have we been very good with feeling our
have we been very good with feeling our
have we been very good with feeling our own anger have we been very good with
own anger have we been very good with
own anger have we been very good with harnessing our anger and channeling it
harnessing our anger and channeling it
harnessing our anger and channeling it in a direction what transmuting it in a
in a direction what transmuting it in a
in a direction what transmuting it in a direction of love have we been good with
direction of love have we been good with
direction of love have we been good with our kids
our kids
our kids when they have an outburst no but it
when they have an outburst no but it
when they have an outburst no but it changes today you can feel it right
changes today you can feel it right
changes today you can feel it right we’ve become safe places for ourselves
we’ve become safe places for ourselves
we’ve become safe places for ourselves and here’s what I want you to know and I
and here’s what I want you to know and I
and here’s what I want you to know and I think the timer’s going down pretty fast
think the timer’s going down pretty fast
think the timer’s going down pretty fast here have those boat you just feel
here have those boat you just feel
here have those boat you just feel giggly this one a while I’m hitting that
giggly this one a while I’m hitting that
giggly this one a while I’m hitting that spot right now I like you girl we could
spot right now I like you girl we could
spot right now I like you girl we could break out this the holy laughter here
break out this the holy laughter here
break out this the holy laughter here pretty quick I mean if you ever broken
pretty quick I mean if you ever broken
pretty quick I mean if you ever broken out into some holy laughter oh yeah
out into some holy laughter oh yeah
out into some holy laughter oh yeah that’s some good healing balm in it yeah
that’s some good healing balm in it yeah
that’s some good healing balm in it yeah I’ve got a buddy that says Brandon if
I’ve got a buddy that says Brandon if
I’ve got a buddy that says Brandon if you don’t lose your place more than a
you don’t lose your place more than a
you don’t lose your place more than a couple of times you haven’t given your
couple of times you haven’t given your
couple of times you haven’t given your heart so I just lost my place but we’re
heart so I just lost my place but we’re
heart so I just lost my place but we’re becoming a safe place for ourselves and
becoming a safe place for ourselves and
becoming a safe place for ourselves and here’s what I want to leave you with
here’s what I want to leave you with
here’s what I want to leave you with like show up for you like you may not be
like show up for you like you may not be
like show up for you like you may not be able to mend your relationship with a
able to mend your relationship with a
able to mend your relationship with a parent but you know what you can do you
parent but you know what you can do you
parent but you know what you can do you can come through for you you know the
can come through for you you know the
can come through for you you know the greatest pain of all it’s the pain of
greatest pain of all it’s the pain of
greatest pain of all it’s the pain of personal abandonment it’s the pain of
personal abandonment it’s the pain of
personal abandonment it’s the pain of you abandoning your heart when you need
you abandoning your heart when you need
you abandoning your heart when you need you most and I want to leave you with
you most and I want to leave you with
you most and I want to leave you with this like like show up for you if your
this like like show up for you if your
this like like show up for you if your heart needs support you be the best damn
heart needs support you be the best damn
heart needs support you be the best damn supporter on the planet like if you if
supporter on the planet like if you if
supporter on the planet like if you if your heart needs care man you get so
your heart needs care man you get so
your heart needs care man you get so careful right like you just you just
careful right like you just you just
careful right like you just you just lavish care on yourself if you need man
lavish care on yourself if you need man
lavish care on yourself if you need man if you need a the feeling of abundance
if you need a the feeling of abundance
if you need a the feeling of abundance in extravagance just be extravagant
in extravagance just be extravagant
in extravagance just be extravagant about yourself here’s what I want you to
about yourself here’s what I want you to
about yourself here’s what I want you to know your heart will always back you up
the hustle will not you will have to pay
the hustle will not you will have to pay the piper at some point but the heart
the piper at some point but the heart
the piper at some point but the heart will always come through gang I think
will always come through gang I think
will always come through gang I think that’s it
that’s it
that’s it slams day thank you for having me yeah
”
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