[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] when you lose someone or something that
when you lose someone or something that
when you lose someone or something that matters
matters
matters grief happens it hurts it’s easy to feel
grief happens it hurts it’s easy to feel
grief happens it hurts it’s easy to feel lost
lost
lost to lose motivation to feel angry but if
to lose motivation to feel angry but if
to lose motivation to feel angry but if too much time is spent in the darkness
too much time is spent in the darkness
too much time is spent in the darkness of grief depression can set in it’s easy
of grief depression can set in it’s easy
of grief depression can set in it’s easy to get stuck to lose your spark your
to get stuck to lose your spark your
to get stuck to lose your spark your passion for life when you experience
passion for life when you experience
passion for life when you experience grief will you get stuck or will you
grief will you get stuck or will you
grief will you get stuck or will you take back your life
take back your life
take back your life grief hit me so hard and I’m here to
grief hit me so hard and I’m here to
grief hit me so hard and I’m here to share with you what I learned and hopes
share with you what I learned and hopes
share with you what I learned and hopes that you too can overcome grief like I
that you too can overcome grief like I
that you too can overcome grief like I did my passion is freestyle skiing doing
did my passion is freestyle skiing doing
did my passion is freestyle skiing doing flips and twists a massive jumps the
flips and twists a massive jumps the
flips and twists a massive jumps the feeling of flying it’s incredible but my
feeling of flying it’s incredible but my
feeling of flying it’s incredible but my passion is a double-edged sword in 2007
passion is a double-edged sword in 2007
passion is a double-edged sword in 2007 I left competitive skiing because of
I left competitive skiing because of
I left competitive skiing because of broken bones and torn ligaments but by
broken bones and torn ligaments but by
broken bones and torn ligaments but by 2013 I bounced back not as the
2013 I bounced back not as the
2013 I bounced back not as the professional skier my original dream as
professional skier my original dream as
professional skier my original dream as a coach I was coaching some of Canada’s
a coach I was coaching some of Canada’s
a coach I was coaching some of Canada’s top halfpipe skiers while coaching my
top halfpipe skiers while coaching my
top halfpipe skiers while coaching my team on December 16th 2013 I performed a
team on December 16th 2013 I performed a
team on December 16th 2013 I performed a trick called the 722 full rotations with
trick called the 722 full rotations with
trick called the 722 full rotations with a catastrophic landing in a
a catastrophic landing in a
a catastrophic landing in a scorpion-like crash I humble downhill
scorpion-like crash I humble downhill
scorpion-like crash I humble downhill sliding to a stop face down in the snow
sliding to a stop face down in the snow
sliding to a stop face down in the snow no no no this can’t be happening
no no no this can’t be happening
no no no this can’t be happening is this a bad dream I can’t get up I
is this a bad dream I can’t get up I
is this a bad dream I can’t get up I can’t feel my legs
can’t feel my legs
can’t feel my legs body arms nothing below the neck
body arms nothing below the neck
body arms nothing below the neck paralyzed
paralyzed
paralyzed no not now
no not now
no not now not here not me the ski patrol arrives
not here not me the ski patrol arrives
not here not me the ski patrol arrives on scene and I hear him say over the
on scene and I hear him say over the
on scene and I hear him say over the radio I’ve got a code black I know what
radio I’ve got a code black I know what
radio I’ve got a code black I know what this means it’s bad my neck is broken
later that night five vertebrae in my
later that night five vertebrae in my neck are surgically fused with two
neck are surgically fused with two
neck are surgically fused with two titanium rods and ten screws when I wake
titanium rods and ten screws when I wake
titanium rods and ten screws when I wake up I can just barely move my elbows
up I can just barely move my elbows
up I can just barely move my elbows which is good but I’m far from good two
which is good but I’m far from good two
which is good but I’m far from good two weeks go by Here I am alone in a dim
weeks go by Here I am alone in a dim
weeks go by Here I am alone in a dim room at Vancouver General Hospital 2:00
room at Vancouver General Hospital 2:00
room at Vancouver General Hospital 2:00 a.m.
a.m.
a.m. beep beep beep yet my arms to work
beep beep beep yet my arms to work
beep beep beep yet my arms to work properly I’ll rip this IV out I’ll be
properly I’ll rip this IV out I’ll be
properly I’ll rip this IV out I’ll be more careful with my wounds blood
more careful with my wounds blood
more careful with my wounds blood drainage hose and for sure my catheter
for obvious reasons what I’m going to
for obvious reasons what I’m going to smash the heartbreak monitor beep beep
smash the heartbreak monitor beep beep
smash the heartbreak monitor beep beep and there’s my spinal specialist
and there’s my spinal specialist
and there’s my spinal specialist replaying in my mind Mike with intensive
replaying in my mind Mike with intensive
replaying in my mind Mike with intensive physiotherapy you might get the use of
physiotherapy you might get the use of
physiotherapy you might get the use of your arms but prepare yourself you’ll
your arms but prepare yourself you’ll
your arms but prepare yourself you’ll probably never walk again
and here they come
and here they come I can’t hold them back I cry and I cry
I can’t hold them back I cry and I cry
I can’t hold them back I cry and I cry and I cry my rib should hurt from the
and I cry my rib should hurt from the
and I cry my rib should hurt from the heaving sobs but I can’t feel it
heaving sobs but I can’t feel it
heaving sobs but I can’t feel it I can’t even feed myself
I can’t even feed myself
I can’t even feed myself I can’t even wipe away my own tears life
I can’t even wipe away my own tears life
I can’t even wipe away my own tears life as I know it is gone I want to climb
as I know it is gone I want to climb
as I know it is gone I want to climb mountain surf in Central America ski in
mountain surf in Central America ski in
mountain surf in Central America ski in Alaska two weeks ago I was on my way to
Alaska two weeks ago I was on my way to
Alaska two weeks ago I was on my way to coaching Canada’s Olympic halfpipe Ski
coaching Canada’s Olympic halfpipe Ski
coaching Canada’s Olympic halfpipe Ski Team but it’s gone Who am I
Team but it’s gone Who am I
Team but it’s gone Who am I Mike Shaw the skier athlete coach will I
Mike Shaw the skier athlete coach will I
Mike Shaw the skier athlete coach will I ever have kids a family probably not my
ever have kids a family probably not my
ever have kids a family probably not my future
future
future every dream all gone
there’s no bouncing back this time no
there’s no bouncing back this time no guarantees a quadriplegic
have you ever felt like you’ve hit rock
have you ever felt like you’ve hit rock bottom deep hopelessness despair with
bottom deep hopelessness despair with
bottom deep hopelessness despair with time I realized that the human emotion
time I realized that the human emotion
time I realized that the human emotion of grief is something we all share grief
of grief is something we all share grief
of grief is something we all share grief happens my feelings weren’t so different
happens my feelings weren’t so different
happens my feelings weren’t so different to someone sad for reasons like the end
to someone sad for reasons like the end
to someone sad for reasons like the end of a dream financial ruin disease or
of a dream financial ruin disease or
of a dream financial ruin disease or divorce
divorce
divorce it isn’t always sudden like the
it isn’t always sudden like the
it isn’t always sudden like the microsecond my neck broke but it can be
microsecond my neck broke but it can be
microsecond my neck broke but it can be like the unexpected loss of a loved one
like the unexpected loss of a loved one
like the unexpected loss of a loved one and there’s a ripple effect too I’ll
and there’s a ripple effect too I’ll
and there’s a ripple effect too I’ll never forget my mom’s tears my dad’s
never forget my mom’s tears my dad’s
never forget my mom’s tears my dad’s brave faith my loss was there lost to
grief happens the causes vary but the
grief happens the causes vary but the feelings are universal and feeling like
feelings are universal and feeling like
feelings are universal and feeling like my spark for life had been extinguished
my spark for life had been extinguished
my spark for life had been extinguished I had so many negative emotions but then
I had so many negative emotions but then
I had so many negative emotions but then a good one hope I remembered my friend
a good one hope I remembered my friend
a good one hope I remembered my friend Josh one of the most important phone
Josh one of the most important phone
Josh one of the most important phone calls I’ve ever made was to Josh Dueck
calls I’ve ever made was to Josh Dueck
calls I’ve ever made was to Josh Dueck Josh and I met in 2003 he was a
Josh and I met in 2003 he was a
Josh and I met in 2003 he was a fantastic freestyle skier someone I
fantastic freestyle skier someone I
fantastic freestyle skier someone I completely idolized he was my freestyle
completely idolized he was my freestyle
completely idolized he was my freestyle ski coach for almost a year when he
ski coach for almost a year when he
ski coach for almost a year when he broke his back at skiing accident that
broke his back at skiing accident that
broke his back at skiing accident that left him completely paralyzed from the
left him completely paralyzed from the
left him completely paralyzed from the waist down
waist down
waist down but josh is amazing
but josh is amazing
but josh is amazing he’s a 2-time Paralympian a Paralympic
he’s a 2-time Paralympian a Paralympic
he’s a 2-time Paralympian a Paralympic gold medalist for Canada the first
gold medalist for Canada the first
gold medalist for Canada the first person ever to backflip in his sit ski
person ever to backflip in his sit ski
person ever to backflip in his sit ski and he’s now a father yeah
I needed to reach out to Josh and when I
I needed to reach out to Josh and when I did he told me Mike you’ve just been
did he told me Mike you’ve just been
did he told me Mike you’ve just been inducted into the most elite club in the
inducted into the most elite club in the
inducted into the most elite club in the world the spinal cord injury Club you’re
world the spinal cord injury Club you’re
world the spinal cord injury Club you’re going to meet some of the most
going to meet some of the most
going to meet some of the most incredible people and although this
incredible people and although this
incredible people and although this doesn’t feel like a gift right now there
doesn’t feel like a gift right now there
doesn’t feel like a gift right now there will be gifts that reveal themselves
will be gifts that reveal themselves
will be gifts that reveal themselves over time grief can reveal gifts lying
over time grief can reveal gifts lying
over time grief can reveal gifts lying there mostly paralyzed
there mostly paralyzed
there mostly paralyzed I couldn’t imagine any Grist but he
I couldn’t imagine any Grist but he
I couldn’t imagine any Grist but he wasn’t finished
wasn’t finished
wasn’t finished Mike no one wants an invitation to the
Mike no one wants an invitation to the
Mike no one wants an invitation to the spinal cord injury club I wouldn’t wish
spinal cord injury club I wouldn’t wish
spinal cord injury club I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy but there are
this on my worst enemy but there are
this on my worst enemy but there are good things that can come from it
good things that can come from it
good things that can come from it depending on how you look at it it’s
depending on how you look at it it’s
depending on how you look at it it’s about perspective tonight after night in
about perspective tonight after night in
about perspective tonight after night in my hospital bed I had a lot of time to
my hospital bed I had a lot of time to
my hospital bed I had a lot of time to reflect I realized if I wanted to move
reflect I realized if I wanted to move
reflect I realized if I wanted to move forward mentally and emotionally
forward mentally and emotionally
forward mentally and emotionally certainly physically I needed to turn
certainly physically I needed to turn
certainly physically I needed to turn the tables on grief grief can reveal
the tables on grief grief can reveal
the tables on grief grief can reveal gifts it’s all about perspective my
gifts it’s all about perspective my
gifts it’s all about perspective my first gift was Josh a living example but
first gift was Josh a living example but
first gift was Josh a living example but life after grief is possible he
life after grief is possible he
life after grief is possible he understood my loss and he had navigated
understood my loss and he had navigated
understood my loss and he had navigated successful healing when I thought about
successful healing when I thought about
successful healing when I thought about perspective
perspective
perspective I thought about skiing standing atop
I thought about skiing standing atop
I thought about skiing standing atop high mountain peaks feeling
high mountain peaks feeling
high mountain peaks feeling weightlessness in freefall we’re soaring
weightlessness in freefall we’re soaring
weightlessness in freefall we’re soaring twenty to thirty feet high on an 80-foot
twenty to thirty feet high on an 80-foot
twenty to thirty feet high on an 80-foot gap jump they’re the most amazing
gap jump they’re the most amazing
gap jump they’re the most amazing feelings hard feelings to lose the
feelings hard feelings to lose the
feelings hard feelings to lose the thought that I might not ski again
thought that I might not ski again
thought that I might not ski again devastating but I decided to change my
devastating but I decided to change my
devastating but I decided to change my perspective it occurred to me that my
perspective it occurred to me that my
perspective it occurred to me that my emotional pain was directly
emotional pain was directly
emotional pain was directly proportionate to the joy and love I felt
proportionate to the joy and love I felt
proportionate to the joy and love I felt I couldn’t feel so low without once
I couldn’t feel so low without once
I couldn’t feel so low without once feeling so high my loss
feeling so high my loss
feeling so high my loss mattered and grief revealed a gift it
mattered and grief revealed a gift it
mattered and grief revealed a gift it was a gift that I’d experienced those
was a gift that I’d experienced those
was a gift that I’d experienced those highs the lows they gave me a greater
highs the lows they gave me a greater
highs the lows they gave me a greater emotional capacity to appreciate the
emotional capacity to appreciate the
emotional capacity to appreciate the highs grief was validation I had
highs grief was validation I had
highs grief was validation I had something in my life that mattered so
something in my life that mattered so
something in my life that mattered so much it hurt to lose I am forever
much it hurt to lose I am forever
much it hurt to lose I am forever grateful to have had skiing in my life
grateful to have had skiing in my life
grateful to have had skiing in my life in the first place
it’s a tough subject to talk about but
it’s a tough subject to talk about but if I were to lose my parents today I
if I were to lose my parents today I
if I were to lose my parents today I would turn the tables on grief with some
would turn the tables on grief with some
would turn the tables on grief with some effort I could choose gratitude I could
effort I could choose gratitude I could
effort I could choose gratitude I could be grateful that I had them in my life
be grateful that I had them in my life
be grateful that I had them in my life in the first place rather than fixating
in the first place rather than fixating
in the first place rather than fixating on the loss I’d seek the gifts their
on the loss I’d seek the gifts their
on the loss I’d seek the gifts their love support and compassion over the
love support and compassion over the
love support and compassion over the years of things I’ll never lose the
years of things I’ll never lose the
years of things I’ll never lose the lessons they’ve taught me all made
lessons they’ve taught me all made
lessons they’ve taught me all made concrete in me when they pass I’m
concrete in me when they pass I’m
concrete in me when they pass I’m forever grateful for them and they know
forever grateful for them and they know
forever grateful for them and they know it can you think of someone who’s a gift
it can you think of someone who’s a gift
it can you think of someone who’s a gift in your life if gone tomorrow you could
in your life if gone tomorrow you could
in your life if gone tomorrow you could be forever grateful for the shared
be forever grateful for the shared
be forever grateful for the shared experiences lessons learned and love
when you feel grief you too can turn the
when you feel grief you too can turn the tables try a different perspective you
tables try a different perspective you
tables try a different perspective you can activate gratitude to help you heal
can activate gratitude to help you heal
can activate gratitude to help you heal I’m not saying it’s easy especially when
I’m not saying it’s easy especially when
I’m not saying it’s easy especially when you’re in a dark place facing uncertain
you’re in a dark place facing uncertain
you’re in a dark place facing uncertain new reality at about we six or seven
new reality at about we six or seven
new reality at about we six or seven after my accident I stumbled across new
after my accident I stumbled across new
after my accident I stumbled across new ways to activate gratitude that helped
ways to activate gratitude that helped
ways to activate gratitude that helped me heal with the help of
me heal with the help of
me heal with the help of physiotherapists I started standing I
physiotherapists I started standing I
physiotherapists I started standing I was even taking my first steps every
was even taking my first steps every
was even taking my first steps every time my feet hit the floor boom
time my feet hit the floor boom
time my feet hit the floor boom gratitude triggered it didn’t matter
gratitude triggered it didn’t matter
gratitude triggered it didn’t matter which side of the bed I got out of he
which side of the bed I got out of he
which side of the bed I got out of he touched the floor boom gratitude
touched the floor boom gratitude
touched the floor boom gratitude then aha I realized I could harness this
then aha I realized I could harness this
then aha I realized I could harness this feeling I could purposefully activate
feeling I could purposefully activate
feeling I could purposefully activate gratitude identify my own gratitude
gratitude identify my own gratitude
gratitude identify my own gratitude triggers to pull me out of depression if
triggers to pull me out of depression if
triggers to pull me out of depression if I can do it
I can do it
I can do it you can do it too it could be that first
you can do it too it could be that first
you can do it too it could be that first cup of coffee in the morning if it’s
cup of coffee in the morning if it’s
cup of coffee in the morning if it’s something you’re sincerely thankful for
if you have young kids maybe it’s the
if you have young kids maybe it’s the moment you wake them up for school in
moment you wake them up for school in
moment you wake them up for school in the morning but I’m not a parent
the morning but I’m not a parent
the morning but I’m not a parent maybe it’s the moment just before you
maybe it’s the moment just before you
maybe it’s the moment just before you wake them up that’s when you have your
wake them up that’s when you have your
wake them up that’s when you have your coffee gratitude hitter away gratitude
coffee gratitude hitter away gratitude
coffee gratitude hitter away gratitude triggers became part of my daily
triggers became part of my daily
triggers became part of my daily practice and today I am grateful every
practice and today I am grateful every
practice and today I am grateful every day because when I experience setbacks
day because when I experience setbacks
day because when I experience setbacks which we all do
which we all do
which we all do we’re often reminded about our losses my
we’re often reminded about our losses my
we’re often reminded about our losses my ability to get unstuck falls back on
ability to get unstuck falls back on
ability to get unstuck falls back on gratitude gratitude gives me perspective
gratitude gratitude gives me perspective
gratitude gratitude gives me perspective it’s helped me heal mentally and
it’s helped me heal mentally and
it’s helped me heal mentally and emotionally so that I could focus on
emotionally so that I could focus on
emotionally so that I could focus on doing the work to heal physically
doing the work to heal physically
doing the work to heal physically because in the end I’ve had an
because in the end I’ve had an
because in the end I’ve had an extraordinary recovery from my injury
extraordinary recovery from my injury
extraordinary recovery from my injury I’ll never have the coordination to ski
I’ll never have the coordination to ski
I’ll never have the coordination to ski again like I used to but I’m very
again like I used to but I’m very
again like I used to but I’m very fortunate still I’m in the spinal cord
fortunate still I’m in the spinal cord
fortunate still I’m in the spinal cord injury Club and as a result I’ve seen a
injury Club and as a result I’ve seen a
injury Club and as a result I’ve seen a spectrum of physical recoveries some
spectrum of physical recoveries some
spectrum of physical recoveries some people experience healing better than
people experience healing better than
people experience healing better than mine while some remain completely
mine while some remain completely
mine while some remain completely paralyzed
paralyzed
paralyzed physical healing can be uncertain but
physical healing can be uncertain but
physical healing can be uncertain but emotional healing is different remember
emotional healing is different remember
emotional healing is different remember Josh he lives a full life and like Josh
Josh he lives a full life and like Josh
Josh he lives a full life and like Josh I strive to live a full life I have been
I strive to live a full life I have been
I strive to live a full life I have been back to the mountains I’ve made
back to the mountains I’ve made
back to the mountains I’ve made meaningful relationships I feel
meaningful relationships I feel
meaningful relationships I feel motivated when I wake up in the morning
motivated when I wake up in the morning
motivated when I wake up in the morning most mornings
but I have also witnessed what happens
but I have also witnessed what happens when you get stuck in grief I know a man
when you get stuck in grief I know a man
when you get stuck in grief I know a man who got lost in his emotional pain and
who got lost in his emotional pain and
who got lost in his emotional pain and suffering on my very last night in the
suffering on my very last night in the
suffering on my very last night in the hospital I’m in the hallway outside my
hospital I’m in the hallway outside my
hospital I’m in the hallway outside my room talking to my friend Steve Steve is
room talking to my friend Steve Steve is
room talking to my friend Steve Steve is approaching retirement an incomplete
approaching retirement an incomplete
approaching retirement an incomplete quadriplegic injured mountain biking now
quadriplegic injured mountain biking now
quadriplegic injured mountain biking now I’m nervous but excited to leave the
I’m nervous but excited to leave the
I’m nervous but excited to leave the hospital Steve is neither he tells me
hospital Steve is neither he tells me
hospital Steve is neither he tells me Mike I can’t bear the thought of life
Mike I can’t bear the thought of life
Mike I can’t bear the thought of life after losing my body I’m trying to stack
after losing my body I’m trying to stack
after losing my body I’m trying to stack my pain pills so I could painlessly
my pain pills so I could painlessly
my pain pills so I could painlessly leave this world pretty heavy I told him
leave this world pretty heavy I told him
leave this world pretty heavy I told him what I’m here to tell you today you can
what I’m here to tell you today you can
what I’m here to tell you today you can take back your life though it won’t be
take back your life though it won’t be
take back your life though it won’t be easy
easy
easy things won’t all of a sudden be sunshine
things won’t all of a sudden be sunshine
things won’t all of a sudden be sunshine and rainbows are you going to say I lost
and rainbows are you going to say I lost
and rainbows are you going to say I lost my pet hedgehog Susan right on or fell
my pet hedgehog Susan right on or fell
my pet hedgehog Susan right on or fell down the stairs and knocked myself out
down the stairs and knocked myself out
down the stairs and knocked myself out oh that’s so great I’ve got a concussion
oh that’s so great I’ve got a concussion
oh that’s so great I’ve got a concussion or hey it’s great that my family member
or hey it’s great that my family member
or hey it’s great that my family member has cancer no of course not
has cancer no of course not
has cancer no of course not think gifts and perspective my first
think gifts and perspective my first
think gifts and perspective my first gift was Josh
gift was Josh
gift was Josh he showed me that connecting with those
he showed me that connecting with those
he showed me that connecting with those who understand your loss those that have
who understand your loss those that have
who understand your loss those that have navigated successful emotional healing
navigated successful emotional healing
navigated successful emotional healing it makes all the difference
it makes all the difference
it makes all the difference reach out and find your mentor or your
reach out and find your mentor or your
reach out and find your mentor or your support group because you don’t have to
support group because you don’t have to
support group because you don’t have to go it alone second choose a perspective
go it alone second choose a perspective
go it alone second choose a perspective of gratitude grief won’t go away
of gratitude grief won’t go away
of gratitude grief won’t go away overnight there will be setbacks heck
overnight there will be setbacks heck
overnight there will be setbacks heck I’m not convinced that grief ever fully
I’m not convinced that grief ever fully
I’m not convinced that grief ever fully goes away when the loss is significant
goes away when the loss is significant
goes away when the loss is significant when you feel pain try different
when you feel pain try different
when you feel pain try different perspective
perspective
perspective you had someone or something in your
you had someone or something in your
you had someone or something in your life that mattered so much it hurts to
life that mattered so much it hurts to
life that mattered so much it hurts to lose treasured memories are gifts and
lose treasured memories are gifts and
lose treasured memories are gifts and you can be forever grateful what if we
you can be forever grateful what if we
you can be forever grateful what if we looked at it like this our lows the pain
looked at it like this our lows the pain
looked at it like this our lows the pain the hopelessness they give us a greater
the hopelessness they give us a greater
the hopelessness they give us a greater emotional capacity to appreciate new
emotional capacity to appreciate new
emotional capacity to appreciate new highs trust that you will heal and that
highs trust that you will heal and that
highs trust that you will heal and that you can live a full life after grief
you can live a full life after grief
you can live a full life after grief finally make a commitment to yourself
finally make a commitment to yourself
finally make a commitment to yourself that you’ll activate gratitude to help
that you’ll activate gratitude to help
that you’ll activate gratitude to help you heal practice feeling grateful
you heal practice feeling grateful
you heal practice feeling grateful everyday boom gratitude triggered
everyday boom gratitude triggered
everyday boom gratitude triggered whether you’re tested by grief or not
whether you’re tested by grief or not
whether you’re tested by grief or not your life will be better for it
your life will be better for it
your life will be better for it grief happens don’t get stuck
grief happens don’t get stuck
grief happens don’t get stuck find gratitude in the darkness and take
find gratitude in the darkness and take
find gratitude in the darkness and take back your life if I can do it you can do
back your life if I can do it you can do
back your life if I can do it you can do it too
it too
it too [Applause]
”
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