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thank you very much and the instrument
thank you very much and the instrument you just heard and saw me perform on is
you just heard and saw me perform on is
you just heard and saw me perform on is perhaps my favorite instrument my
perhaps my favorite instrument my
perhaps my favorite instrument my electric vintage toy organ I bought this
electric vintage toy organ I bought this
electric vintage toy organ I bought this instrument on eBay about five years ago
instrument on eBay about five years ago
instrument on eBay about five years ago and when I first brought it into my
and when I first brought it into my
and when I first brought it into my college dorm room at the time I kind of
college dorm room at the time I kind of
college dorm room at the time I kind of joke that I saw it as two things my
joke that I saw it as two things my
joke that I saw it as two things my first solid as sort of my ticket to
first solid as sort of my ticket to
first solid as sort of my ticket to Brooklyn uh-huh I needed something weird
Brooklyn uh-huh I needed something weird
Brooklyn uh-huh I needed something weird something out of tune and of course
something out of tune and of course
something out of tune and of course something very 1960s and order to get me
something very 1960s and order to get me
something very 1960s and order to get me across that bridge for Manhattan and I
across that bridge for Manhattan and I
across that bridge for Manhattan and I also joked that kind of solid as my
also joked that kind of solid as my
also joked that kind of solid as my permanent boy magnet
permanent boy magnet
permanent boy magnet I needed something heavy something
I needed something heavy something
I needed something heavy something awkward and of course something that I
awkward and of course something that I
awkward and of course something that I always looked like I needed an
always looked like I needed an
always looked like I needed an incredible amount of assistance with in
incredible amount of assistance with in
incredible amount of assistance with in order to have that ever long line of
order to have that ever long line of
order to have that ever long line of male sneakers at the door and of course
male sneakers at the door and of course
male sneakers at the door and of course more importantly my Brooklyn apartment
more importantly my Brooklyn apartment
more importantly my Brooklyn apartment doors we clear a dome and I’m happy to
doors we clear a dome and I’m happy to
doors we clear a dome and I’m happy to say that both of those values have still
say that both of those values have still
say that both of those values have still proven mostly true more recently the
proven mostly true more recently the
proven mostly true more recently the organ has come to have much greater
organ has come to have much greater
organ has come to have much greater meaning for me I meaning that phenol
meaning for me I meaning that phenol
meaning for me I meaning that phenol applies to me personally but can really
applies to me personally but can really
applies to me personally but can really apply to all on a big or small level
apply to all on a big or small level
apply to all on a big or small level that’s because I feel that the organ
that’s because I feel that the organ
that’s because I feel that the organ allows me to navigate something not only
allows me to navigate something not only
allows me to navigate something not only musical and not only visual but rather
musical and not only visual but rather
musical and not only visual but rather something beyond ability and I’m going
something beyond ability and I’m going
something beyond ability and I’m going to attempt to explain why about 15 years
to attempt to explain why about 15 years
to attempt to explain why about 15 years ago my family and I were involved in a
ago my family and I were involved in a
ago my family and I were involved in a serious car accident during which my
serious car accident during which my
serious car accident during which my left hand was nearly amputated and
left hand was nearly amputated and
left hand was nearly amputated and therefore ever since the acts today I
therefore ever since the acts today I
therefore ever since the acts today I feel that it’s always been a challenge
feel that it’s always been a challenge
feel that it’s always been a challenge to find an instrument that really suits
to find an instrument that really suits
to find an instrument that really suits my body
my body
my body well then always suits my body but
well then always suits my body but
well then always suits my body but doesn’t remind me of the things that
doesn’t remind me of the things that
doesn’t remind me of the things that won’t happen with my impairment the
won’t happen with my impairment the
won’t happen with my impairment the notes that won’t sound the keys that
notes that won’t sound the keys that
notes that won’t sound the keys that won’t press and rather rather I’ve
won’t press and rather rather I’ve
won’t press and rather rather I’ve always longed to find a musical
always longed to find a musical
always longed to find a musical instrument that does suit my body and
instrument that does suit my body and
instrument that does suit my body and reminds me of the things that will and
reminds me of the things that will and
reminds me of the things that will and can’t happen with my impairment the
can’t happen with my impairment the
can’t happen with my impairment the notes that will sound the keys that will
notes that will sound the keys that will
notes that will sound the keys that will press and I think most importantly the
press and I think most importantly the
press and I think most importantly the possibilities that can emerge and
possibilities that can emerge and
possibilities that can emerge and therefore worth of organ as you can see
therefore worth of organ as you can see
therefore worth of organ as you can see it’s physical setup with the chord
it’s physical setup with the chord
it’s physical setup with the chord buttons on the left hand side and the
buttons on the left hand side and the
buttons on the left hand side and the keyboard part on the right hand side
keyboard part on the right hand side
keyboard part on the right hand side feels very comfortable for me to
feels very comfortable for me to
feels very comfortable for me to physically perform on I feel it was
physically perform on I feel it was
physically perform on I feel it was almost made for my body and I say may
almost made for my body and I say may
almost made for my body and I say may for my form and made for my deform I
for my form and made for my deform I
for my form and made for my deform I feel that through performing on the
feel that through performing on the
feel that through performing on the organ it challenges me to interact and
organ it challenges me to interact and
organ it challenges me to interact and engage with my impairment on a different
engage with my impairment on a different
engage with my impairment on a different level a level that allows my body to
level a level that allows my body to
level a level that allows my body to navigate a unique environment in its own
navigate a unique environment in its own
navigate a unique environment in its own manner without comparison or concern of
manner without comparison or concern of
manner without comparison or concern of whether is able or not formed or not but
whether is able or not formed or not but
whether is able or not formed or not but if it could be something else you know
if it could be something else you know
if it could be something else you know something else that can perhaps be
something else that can perhaps be
something else that can perhaps be beyond physicality beyond perception and
beyond physicality beyond perception and
beyond physicality beyond perception and even beyond beyond ability and therefore
even beyond beyond ability and therefore
even beyond beyond ability and therefore performing with the organ and
performing with the organ and
performing with the organ and investigating my body on its own level
investigating my body on its own level
investigating my body on its own level within its own manner has led me to want
within its own manner has led me to want
within its own manner has led me to want to create a new social imaginary
to create a new social imaginary
to create a new social imaginary imaginary that challenges traditional
imaginary that challenges traditional
imaginary that challenges traditional notions regarding impairments in the
notions regarding impairments in the
notions regarding impairments in the human body challenges those notions and
human body challenges those notions and
human body challenges those notions and specifically challenged as the
specifically challenged as the
specifically challenged as the historical stigma towards it you know
historical stigma towards it you know
historical stigma towards it you know that stigma that categorizes a body that
that stigma that categorizes a body that
that stigma that categorizes a body that has other categorizes a body that is
has other categorizes a body that is
has other categorizes a body that is different and sets it aside rather than
different and sets it aside rather than
different and sets it aside rather than something to be celebrated something to
something to be celebrated something to
something to be celebrated something to be explored and I think most importantly
be explored and I think most importantly
be explored and I think most importantly something to be enjoyed as disability
something to be enjoyed as disability
something to be enjoyed as disability studies pioneer Rosemarie garland
studies pioneer Rosemarie garland
studies pioneer Rosemarie garland Thompson often expresses disability is
Thompson often expresses disability is
Thompson often expresses disability is really a product of cultural rules about
really a product of cultural rules about
really a product of cultural rules about what body should be or should do and she
what body should be or should do and she
what body should be or should do and she also adds that it’s a repository
also adds that it’s a repository
also adds that it’s a repository resulting from social anxieties
resulting from social anxieties
resulting from social anxieties involving vulnerability control and
involving vulnerability control and
involving vulnerability control and identity she often also adds that um she
identity she often also adds that um she
identity she often also adds that um she has a desire to recast disability from
has a desire to recast disability from
has a desire to recast disability from the realm of medicine to that of
the realm of medicine to that of
the realm of medicine to that of political minority and thus from a form
political minority and thus from a form
political minority and thus from a form of pathology to a form of identity
of pathology to a form of identity
of pathology to a form of identity therefore along those lines
therefore along those lines
therefore along those lines I wish to recast disability from a fixed
I wish to recast disability from a fixed
I wish to recast disability from a fixed static and perfection to that of a fluid
static and perfection to that of a fluid
static and perfection to that of a fluid creative potential a potential that is
creative potential a potential that is
creative potential a potential that is not concerned with able or disabled
not concerned with able or disabled
not concerned with able or disabled formed or deform functional or
formed or deform functional or
formed or deform functional or non-functional but rather all the
non-functional but rather all the
non-functional but rather all the in-betweens those in betweens that lie
in-betweens those in betweens that lie
in-betweens those in betweens that lie within the pillars of possible and
within the pillars of possible and
within the pillars of possible and impossible fixed and fluid static and
impossible fixed and fluid static and
impossible fixed and fluid static and moving and those in betweens that emerge
moving and those in betweens that emerge
moving and those in betweens that emerge when we’re not concerned with the
when we’re not concerned with the
when we’re not concerned with the ability of a body or normality of a body
ability of a body or normality of a body
ability of a body or normality of a body but the imaginary of a body and a body
but the imaginary of a body and a body
but the imaginary of a body and a body that can see beyond that virtue of
that can see beyond that virtue of
that can see beyond that virtue of physicality and beyond that virtue that
physicality and beyond that virtue that
physicality and beyond that virtue that satisfaction of visibility
satisfaction of visibility
satisfaction of visibility you know that satisfaction of seeing a
you know that satisfaction of seeing a
you know that satisfaction of seeing a body move as it should move act as it
body move as it should move act as it
body move as it should move act as it should act form as it should form and
should act form as it should form and
should act form as it should form and rather discarding of that false socially
rather discarding of that false socially
rather discarding of that false socially constructed ideal and letting a body
constructed ideal and letting a body
constructed ideal and letting a body move as it wants to move act as it wants
move as it wants to move act as it wants
move as it wants to move act as it wants to act form as it wants to form but I
to act form as it wants to form but I
to act form as it wants to form but I think most importantly deform as it
think most importantly deform as it
think most importantly deform as it wants to deform and pair as it wants to
wants to deform and pair as it wants to
wants to deform and pair as it wants to impaired and just be as it wants to be
impaired and just be as it wants to be
impaired and just be as it wants to be to be without comparison with aljex to
to be without comparison with aljex to
to be without comparison with aljex to position and to be celebrated for that
position and to be celebrated for that
position and to be celebrated for that physical difference the physical
physical difference the physical
physical difference the physical diversion it contains and a physical
diversion it contains and a physical
diversion it contains and a physical difference that I from way too long
difference that I from way too long
difference that I from way too long chose to hide away chose to cover in
chose to hide away chose to cover in
chose to hide away chose to cover in long sleeves
long sleeves
long sleeves I’m chose to be my permanent excuse from
I’m chose to be my permanent excuse from
I’m chose to be my permanent excuse from gym class but rather a physical
gym class but rather a physical
gym class but rather a physical difference that I now chose to uncover
difference that I now chose to uncover
difference that I now chose to uncover to reveal to not be my excuse from gym
to reveal to not be my excuse from gym
to reveal to not be my excuse from gym class to allow me to become addicted to
class to allow me to become addicted to
class to allow me to become addicted to toy organs but I think perhaps most
toy organs but I think perhaps most
toy organs but I think perhaps most importantly and the words of philosopher
importantly and the words of philosopher
importantly and the words of philosopher John Dewey become that individual lends
John Dewey become that individual lends
John Dewey become that individual lends to a perhaps greater truth and in the
to a perhaps greater truth and in the
to a perhaps greater truth and in the words of another favorite philosopher of
words of another favorite philosopher of
words of another favorite philosopher of mine
mine
mine maurice merleau-ponty he states that we
maurice merleau-ponty he states that we
maurice merleau-ponty he states that we must learn to see the world as if we
must learn to see the world as if we
must learn to see the world as if we knew nothing about it as if we still had
knew nothing about it as if we still had
knew nothing about it as if we still had everything to learn and expanding upon
everything to learn and expanding upon
everything to learn and expanding upon that notion I feel that we still have
that notion I feel that we still have
that notion I feel that we still have everything to learn regards the physical
everything to learn regards the physical
everything to learn regards the physical impairment and we still have everything
impairment and we still have everything
impairment and we still have everything to learn and the nuances it contains the
to learn and the nuances it contains the
to learn and the nuances it contains the possibilities it holds and the
possibilities it holds and the
possibilities it holds and the imaginaries that can emerge able or
imaginaries that can emerge able or
imaginaries that can emerge able or disabled does not have to be black or
disabled does not have to be black or
disabled does not have to be black or white on or off it can rather be a
white on or off it can rather be a
white on or off it can rather be a spectrum of mobility a range of
spectrum of mobility a range of
spectrum of mobility a range of possibility in a field of opportunity a
possibility in a field of opportunity a
possibility in a field of opportunity a field where physical difference is not
field where physical difference is not
field where physical difference is not only physical it’s not only clinical and
only physical it’s not only clinical and
only physical it’s not only clinical and it’s not only personal it’s something
it’s not only personal it’s something
it’s not only personal it’s something that’s rather emotional its political
that’s rather emotional its political
that’s rather emotional its political and it’s quite livable but I think more
and it’s quite livable but I think more
and it’s quite livable but I think more importantly something of a miracle a
importantly something of a miracle a
importantly something of a miracle a miracle that sheds a light on to the
miracle that sheds a light on to the
miracle that sheds a light on to the limits of human perception the limits of
limits of human perception the limits of
limits of human perception the limits of human ability those limits I feel too
human ability those limits I feel too
human ability those limits I feel too often and not forced bodies into
often and not forced bodies into
often and not forced bodies into conformity rather than complexity
conformity rather than complexity
conformity rather than complexity normality rather than vitality and
normality rather than vitality and
normality rather than vitality and rather a miracle that sheds a light on
rather a miracle that sheds a light on
rather a miracle that sheds a light on to the realm of opportunity of
to the realm of opportunity of
to the realm of opportunity of possibility waiting beyond those limits
possibility waiting beyond those limits
possibility waiting beyond those limits beyond those boundaries and a miracle
beyond those boundaries and a miracle
beyond those boundaries and a miracle that for me has been a gift that keeps
that for me has been a gift that keeps
that for me has been a gift that keeps on giving
on giving
on giving I guess that is not only temporary but
I guess that is not only temporary but
I guess that is not only temporary but here to stay
here to stay
here to stay the gift that doesn’t only appear in the
the gift that doesn’t only appear in the
the gift that doesn’t only appear in the darkest of my times or the lightest of
darkest of my times or the lightest of
darkest of my times or the lightest of my times but in all my times and all
my times but in all my times and all
my times but in all my times and all those times since my accident that I
those times since my accident that I
those times since my accident that I used to think why me why is it me in the
used to think why me why is it me in the
used to think why me why is it me in the very back seat of my parents SUV the SUV
very back seat of my parents SUV the SUV
very back seat of my parents SUV the SUV that flipped on its side and seemingly
that flipped on its side and seemingly
that flipped on its side and seemingly at my hand follow away from me fall into
at my hand follow away from me fall into
at my hand follow away from me fall into the concrete fall into the bridge and
the concrete fall into the bridge and
the concrete fall into the bridge and fall away from me and open up a world
fall away from me and open up a world
fall away from me and open up a world that was not made for me not formed for
that was not made for me not formed for
that was not made for me not formed for me instead I asked now why not me why
me instead I asked now why not me why
me instead I asked now why not me why can’t I be the one to push against that
can’t I be the one to push against that
can’t I be the one to push against that world to push against that false reality
world to push against that false reality
world to push against that false reality to push against that social construction
to push against that social construction
to push against that social construction and to push into something else that is
and to push into something else that is
and to push into something else that is perhaps beyond physicality beyond
perhaps beyond physicality beyond
perhaps beyond physicality beyond ability and beyond perception and I will
ability and beyond perception and I will
ability and beyond perception and I will continually attempt to enter this world
continually attempt to enter this world
continually attempt to enter this world I’ll continue attempt to play a tiny
I’ll continue attempt to play a tiny
I’ll continue attempt to play a tiny role on my tiny organ into entering this
role on my tiny organ into entering this
role on my tiny organ into entering this world and I courage you to join me in
world and I courage you to join me in
world and I courage you to join me in imagining in creating and in fulfilling
imagining in creating and in fulfilling
imagining in creating and in fulfilling what for you could be beyond ability and
what for you could be beyond ability and
what for you could be beyond ability and work for you could be beyond comparison
and if you don’t mind I’ll now finish
and if you don’t mind I’ll now finish the piece I started at the beginning of
the piece I started at the beginning of
the piece I started at the beginning of my talk a piece I wrote to challenge the
my talk a piece I wrote to challenge the
my talk a piece I wrote to challenge the interaction between my two physically
interaction between my two physically
interaction between my two physically different hands a piece titled form and
different hands a piece titled form and
different hands a piece titled form and deform thank you very much
deform thank you very much
deform thank you very much [Applause]
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