so I do a lot of speaking a lot of classes workshops for parents teachers
classes workshops for parents teachers
classes workshops for parents teachers other counselors on the subject of
other counselors on the subject of
other counselors on the subject of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
attention deficit hyperactivity disorder more commonly known as ADHD and this is
more commonly known as ADHD and this is
more commonly known as ADHD and this is generally really well received I get
generally really well received I get
generally really well received I get lots of positive feedback lines of
lots of positive feedback lines of
lots of positive feedback lines of people talking to me afterwards and
people talking to me afterwards and
people talking to me afterwards and asking questions and it goes really well
asking questions and it goes really well
asking questions and it goes really well and because of that I’ve I started
and because of that I’ve I started
and because of that I’ve I started working a lot with people in my private
working a lot with people in my private
working a lot with people in my private practice as a counselor on dealing with
practice as a counselor on dealing with
practice as a counselor on dealing with not only ADHD but the fallout of living
not only ADHD but the fallout of living
not only ADHD but the fallout of living with ADHD because of that I thought I
with ADHD because of that I thought I
with ADHD because of that I thought I want a bigger platform to sort of share
want a bigger platform to sort of share
want a bigger platform to sort of share the message about ADHD and what people
the message about ADHD and what people
the message about ADHD and what people need to know now when I posted about
need to know now when I posted about
need to know now when I posted about this on my Facebook page I got lots of
this on my Facebook page I got lots of
this on my Facebook page I got lots of positive feedback lots of compliments
positive feedback lots of compliments
positive feedback lots of compliments you’re gonna do great wish we could be
you’re gonna do great wish we could be
you’re gonna do great wish we could be there how do you think I reacted to that
there how do you think I reacted to that
there how do you think I reacted to that feedback do you think that I I I soaked
feedback do you think that I I I soaked
feedback do you think that I I I soaked it all in and I thought you know I do
it all in and I thought you know I do
it all in and I thought you know I do know what I’m talking about I I’m a real
know what I’m talking about I I’m a real
know what I’m talking about I I’m a real success story actually because if you do
success story actually because if you do
success story actually because if you do think that’s how I responded I’m
think that’s how I responded I’m
think that’s how I responded I’m surprised that you think that because
surprised that you think that because
surprised that you think that because the answer is a solid no I immediately
the answer is a solid no I immediately
the answer is a solid no I immediately began to feel self-doubt more than
began to feel self-doubt more than
began to feel self-doubt more than anything else I started to think and
anything else I started to think and
anything else I started to think and rethink my introduction how am I gonna
rethink my introduction how am I gonna
rethink my introduction how am I gonna start what am I even gonna talk about
start what am I even gonna talk about
start what am I even gonna talk about what should my slides be like will they
what should my slides be like will they
what should my slides be like will they laugh at my jokes Oh
laugh at my jokes Oh
laugh at my jokes Oh should it be funny should it be serious
should it be funny should it be serious
should it be funny should it be serious do they want to science do they want my
do they want to science do they want my
do they want to science do they want my experience I told my wife I was probably
experience I told my wife I was probably
experience I told my wife I was probably stewing about where to start about two
stewing about where to start about two
stewing about where to start about two or three hours a day before I had
or three hours a day before I had
or three hours a day before I had actually even started anything now how
actually even started anything now how
actually even started anything now how does this happen
does this happen
does this happen it happens because while I was sort of I
it happens because while I was sort of I
it happens because while I was sort of I fell into ADHD as a specialty as a
fell into ADHD as a specialty as a
fell into ADHD as a specialty as a counselor but I was I was born into it
counselor but I was I was born into it
counselor but I was I was born into it as a reality but I didn’t know that I
as a reality but I didn’t know that I
as a reality but I didn’t know that I didn’t know that until after three
didn’t know that until after three
didn’t know that until after three decades of being the kid who was
decades of being the kid who was
decades of being the kid who was when everybody else was sitting or the
when everybody else was sitting or the
when everybody else was sitting or the kid who was talking too much in class or
kid who was talking too much in class or
kid who was talking too much in class or the kid who was staring out the window
the kid who was staring out the window
the kid who was staring out the window daydreaming of not handing things in or
daydreaming of not handing things in or
daydreaming of not handing things in or handing them in late at best of showing
handing them in late at best of showing
handing them in late at best of showing up for tests and not knowing that there
up for tests and not knowing that there
up for tests and not knowing that there was a test or one I’m in my first
was a test or one I’m in my first
was a test or one I’m in my first semester of university showing up at the
semester of university showing up at the
semester of university showing up at the wrong place wrong time wrong day for my
wrong place wrong time wrong day for my
wrong place wrong time wrong day for my final exam I was a very understanding
final exam I was a very understanding
final exam I was a very understanding Besser I appreciate him it was an
Besser I appreciate him it was an
Besser I appreciate him it was an accumulation of comments on my report
accumulation of comments on my report
accumulation of comments on my report cards like this one for my grade six
cards like this one for my grade six
cards like this one for my grade six report card Ted is an alert able student
report card Ted is an alert able student
report card Ted is an alert able student he has the ability to achieve top marks
he has the ability to achieve top marks
he has the ability to achieve top marks he needs to apply himself consistently
he needs to apply himself consistently
he needs to apply himself consistently over this one I feel he is capable of
over this one I feel he is capable of
over this one I feel he is capable of higher marks but his immaturity in class
higher marks but his immaturity in class
higher marks but his immaturity in class sometimes takes over his desire to do
sometimes takes over his desire to do
sometimes takes over his desire to do well or in music
well or in music
well or in music Ted participates well but he could pay
Ted participates well but he could pay
Ted participates well but he could pay closer attention but could I could I
closer attention but could I could I
closer attention but could I could I actually pay closer attention when I was
actually pay closer attention when I was
actually pay closer attention when I was in grade 2 at tsommo Elementary School I
in grade 2 at tsommo Elementary School I
in grade 2 at tsommo Elementary School I was paying very close attention one time
was paying very close attention one time
was paying very close attention one time to my teacher as she was chewing out a
to my teacher as she was chewing out a
to my teacher as she was chewing out a classmate after school I don’t know what
classmate after school I don’t know what
classmate after school I don’t know what it was about but I was enthralled with
it was about but I was enthralled with
it was about but I was enthralled with this and so while I was paying attention
this and so while I was paying attention
this and so while I was paying attention to that I was taking off my indoor shoes
to that I was taking off my indoor shoes
to that I was taking off my indoor shoes changing to my outdoor shoes and but
changing to my outdoor shoes and but
changing to my outdoor shoes and but because I was so focused on what they
because I was so focused on what they
because I was so focused on what they were doing I kind of went into autopilot
were doing I kind of went into autopilot
were doing I kind of went into autopilot and as I took off my shoes I then
and as I took off my shoes I then
and as I took off my shoes I then proceeded to also take off my pants I
proceeded to also take off my pants I
proceeded to also take off my pants I remember them hitting my ankles and
remember them hitting my ankles and
remember them hitting my ankles and looking up of course this little girl
looking up of course this little girl
looking up of course this little girl being the kind of girl who was getting
being the kind of girl who was getting
being the kind of girl who was getting chewed out by the teacher after class
chewed out by the teacher after class
chewed out by the teacher after class she took great delight and running to
she took great delight and running to
she took great delight and running to the playground and announcing Teddy
the playground and announcing Teddy
the playground and announcing Teddy bawled his pants down in front of the
bawled his pants down in front of the
bawled his pants down in front of the teacher many of these experiences in my
teacher many of these experiences in my
teacher many of these experiences in my life left me asking the question
life left me asking the question
life left me asking the question rhetorically how could I do something so
rhetorically how could I do something so
rhetorically how could I do something so stupid now in terms of maturity when I
stupid now in terms of maturity when I
stupid now in terms of maturity when I was in grade seven I was on in a
was in grade seven I was on in a
was in grade seven I was on in a cross-country race with a good friend of
cross-country race with a good friend of
cross-country race with a good friend of mine
mine
mine school a kid who was running in front of
school a kid who was running in front of
school a kid who was running in front of us slipped on some wet leaves and wiped
us slipped on some wet leaves and wiped
us slipped on some wet leaves and wiped out and was quite hurt we were behind
out and was quite hurt we were behind
out and was quite hurt we were behind him and so we helped him up and we sort
him and so we helped him up and we sort
him and so we helped him up and we sort of cleaned him off walked him back to
of cleaned him off walked him back to
of cleaned him off walked him back to his coach comforted him because we were
his coach comforted him because we were
his coach comforted him because we were so mature and I then turned to my friend
so mature and I then turned to my friend
so mature and I then turned to my friend and said you know obviously we’re gonna
and said you know obviously we’re gonna
and said you know obviously we’re gonna come in last because of this delay in
come in last because of this delay in
come in last because of this delay in the race so I think probably the best
the race so I think probably the best
the race so I think probably the best thing is if we cross the finish line at
thing is if we cross the finish line at
thing is if we cross the finish line at the exact same time that way we can both
the exact same time that way we can both
the exact same time that way we can both be last together neither one of us is
be last together neither one of us is
be last together neither one of us is the last person he said that’s a great
the last person he said that’s a great
the last person he said that’s a great idea
idea
idea and it was a great idea but I did change
and it was a great idea but I did change
and it was a great idea but I did change my mind with about a hundred metres to
my mind with about a hundred metres to
my mind with about a hundred metres to go
go
go I suddenly sprinted away from him
I suddenly sprinted away from him
I suddenly sprinted away from him leaving him to finish last and I felt
leaving him to finish last and I felt
leaving him to finish last and I felt sick I couldn’t even look at him but
sick I couldn’t even look at him but
sick I couldn’t even look at him but worse I couldn’t even explain why I had
worse I couldn’t even explain why I had
worse I couldn’t even explain why I had done that it happened so quickly now in
done that it happened so quickly now in
done that it happened so quickly now in terms of potential when I was in high
terms of potential when I was in high
terms of potential when I was in high school I played on a pretty successful
school I played on a pretty successful
school I played on a pretty successful rugby team I was a starter I played a
rugby team I was a starter I played a
rugby team I was a starter I played a lot of the games about three quarters of
lot of the games about three quarters of
lot of the games about three quarters of the way through this season I got called
the way through this season I got called
the way through this season I got called for an offside penalty and I pulled my
for an offside penalty and I pulled my
for an offside penalty and I pulled my friend aside who was also on the team
friend aside who was also on the team
friend aside who was also on the team and I said I could admit I don’t even
and I said I could admit I don’t even
and I said I could admit I don’t even know what off site is and his words to
know what off site is and his words to
know what off site is and his words to me were so comforting he said I don’t
me were so comforting he said I don’t
me were so comforting he said I don’t know either
know either
know either and as odd as it sounds it felt almost
and as odd as it sounds it felt almost
and as odd as it sounds it felt almost better to be lost with somebody else
better to be lost with somebody else
better to be lost with somebody else then then it would have to not be lost
then then it would have to not be lost
then then it would have to not be lost at all now in terms of top marks my
at all now in terms of top marks my
at all now in terms of top marks my average grade in math for example grade
average grade in math for example grade
average grade in math for example grade 8 through 11 when I was mercifully
8 through 11 when I was mercifully
8 through 11 when I was mercifully released from math forever was a c-minus
released from math forever was a c-minus
released from math forever was a c-minus a solid well actually Jen very generous
a solid well actually Jen very generous
a solid well actually Jen very generous c-minus which also happened to me my
c-minus which also happened to me my
c-minus which also happened to me my grades in social studies and chemistry
grades in social studies and chemistry
grades in social studies and chemistry and biology and history see the trend
and biology and history see the trend
and biology and history see the trend here I couldn’t even get an A in gym so
here I couldn’t even get an A in gym so
here I couldn’t even get an A in gym so the idea that I was capable of achieving
the idea that I was capable of achieving
the idea that I was capable of achieving top marks to me was ridiculous I don’t
top marks to me was ridiculous I don’t
top marks to me was ridiculous I don’t know how anybody could think that I
know how anybody could think that I
know how anybody could think that I would be capable of something more than
would be capable of something more than
would be capable of something more than just scraping by so when I finally
just scraping by so when I finally
just scraping by so when I finally barely and miraculously graduated from
barely and miraculously graduated from
barely and miraculously graduated from Walnut Grove secondary in 1994 I
Walnut Grove secondary in 1994 I
Walnut Grove secondary in 1994 I remember walking through the courtyard
remember walking through the courtyard
remember walking through the courtyard after convocation and almost literally
after convocation and almost literally
after convocation and almost literally crying tears of joy that I would never
crying tears of joy that I would never
crying tears of joy that I would never have to go to school again
have to go to school again
have to go to school again I hadn’t made it now I don’t want you to
I hadn’t made it now I don’t want you to
I hadn’t made it now I don’t want you to get the wrong idea that that school for
get the wrong idea that that school for
get the wrong idea that that school for me was completely miserable because it
me was completely miserable because it
me was completely miserable because it wasn’t it was just mostly miserable I
wasn’t it was just mostly miserable I
wasn’t it was just mostly miserable I did have friends I played sports I
did have friends I played sports I
did have friends I played sports I didn’t get in too much trouble but two
didn’t get in too much trouble but two
didn’t get in too much trouble but two things really stood out to me from my
things really stood out to me from my
things really stood out to me from my school experience the first was that I
school experience the first was that I
school experience the first was that I was always a step slow it seemed like I
was always a step slow it seemed like I
was always a step slow it seemed like I was always just a bit behind what was
was always just a bit behind what was
was always just a bit behind what was going on around me that I was just
going on around me that I was just
going on around me that I was just catching bits and pieces of what I was
catching bits and pieces of what I was
catching bits and pieces of what I was supposed to be getting well well
supposed to be getting well well
supposed to be getting well well everyone else was getting the whole
everyone else was getting the whole
everyone else was getting the whole picture what was going on in my mind was
picture what was going on in my mind was
picture what was going on in my mind was far more captivating than anything I was
far more captivating than anything I was
far more captivating than anything I was experiencing in a classroom the second
experiencing in a classroom the second
experiencing in a classroom the second thing that stood out was that I would
thing that stood out was that I would
thing that stood out was that I would inevitably fail and disappoint people
inevitably fail and disappoint people
inevitably fail and disappoint people who had high hopes for me because people
who had high hopes for me because people
who had high hopes for me because people were always telling me you have such
were always telling me you have such
were always telling me you have such potential you can do such great things
potential you can do such great things
potential you can do such great things the only thing in your way is you
the only thing in your way is you
the only thing in your way is you but without a better more accurate
but without a better more accurate
but without a better more accurate explanation of why it continued to fall
explanation of why it continued to fall
explanation of why it continued to fall short it led to me developing this core
short it led to me developing this core
short it led to me developing this core identity Ted Leavitt master
identity Ted Leavitt master
identity Ted Leavitt master underachiever and what’s worse than
underachiever and what’s worse than
underachiever and what’s worse than being told that you have potential is
being told that you have potential is
being told that you have potential is when people start to compliment you and
when people start to compliment you and
when people start to compliment you and and build you up because you start to
and build you up because you start to
and build you up because you start to feel this weight of expectation that
feel this weight of expectation that
feel this weight of expectation that this is a thing you can do now and the
this is a thing you can do now and the
this is a thing you can do now and the anxiety starts to build because you
anxiety starts to build because you
anxiety starts to build because you figure it’s only a matter of time before
figure it’s only a matter of time before
figure it’s only a matter of time before you’re exposed and they realize you’re
you’re exposed and they realize you’re
you’re exposed and they realize you’re nothing special you’re not that good I’m
nothing special you’re not that good I’m
nothing special you’re not that good I’m not saying that we shouldn’t encourage
not saying that we shouldn’t encourage
not saying that we shouldn’t encourage people who have ADHD of course we need
people who have ADHD of course we need
people who have ADHD of course we need encouragement but we need to be mindful
encouragement but we need to be mindful
encouragement but we need to be mindful in our rush to positivity
in our rush to positivity
in our rush to positivity because if that person doesn’t
because if that person doesn’t
because if that person doesn’t understand why they’re underachieving
understand why they’re underachieving
understand why they’re underachieving if it feels more like it’s something
if it feels more like it’s something
if it feels more like it’s something that’s happening to them rather than
that’s happening to them rather than
that’s happening to them rather than something they did like it feels like
something they did like it feels like
something they did like it feels like it’s beyond their control telling them
it’s beyond their control telling them
it’s beyond their control telling them that they can do great things might be
that they can do great things might be
that they can do great things might be creating this anxiety within them now if
creating this anxiety within them now if
creating this anxiety within them now if we live in the jungle and we don’t stop
we live in the jungle and we don’t stop
we live in the jungle and we don’t stop to smell the pretty flowers every day
to smell the pretty flowers every day
to smell the pretty flowers every day nothing Bad’s probably gonna happen but
nothing Bad’s probably gonna happen but
nothing Bad’s probably gonna happen but if we don’t notice the poisonous snakes
if we don’t notice the poisonous snakes
if we don’t notice the poisonous snakes really bad things will happen not only
really bad things will happen not only
really bad things will happen not only perhaps but for our gene pool because of
perhaps but for our gene pool because of
perhaps but for our gene pool because of that our brains are wired to detect and
that our brains are wired to detect and
that our brains are wired to detect and hold on to threats more than they are
hold on to threats more than they are
hold on to threats more than they are non threats and what that looks like on
non threats and what that looks like on
non threats and what that looks like on a day-to-day basis is that we are more
a day-to-day basis is that we are more
a day-to-day basis is that we are more likely to retain negative experiences
likely to retain negative experiences
likely to retain negative experiences than positive experiences and when
than positive experiences and when
than positive experiences and when you’ve got ADHD and you have hundreds of
you’ve got ADHD and you have hundreds of
you’ve got ADHD and you have hundreds of pages of catalogue of these kinds of
pages of catalogue of these kinds of
pages of catalogue of these kinds of negative events it’s no wonder that we
negative events it’s no wonder that we
negative events it’s no wonder that we grow to expect the worst possible
grow to expect the worst possible
grow to expect the worst possible outcome we have that feeling
outcome we have that feeling
outcome we have that feeling I think I’m forgetting something because
I think I’m forgetting something because
I think I’m forgetting something because we probably are forgetting something but
we probably are forgetting something but
we probably are forgetting something but feeling there’s something I’m supposed
feeling there’s something I’m supposed
feeling there’s something I’m supposed to be doing we have because there
to be doing we have because there
to be doing we have because there probably is something you’re supposed to
probably is something you’re supposed to
probably is something you’re supposed to be doing we spend so much time waiting
be doing we spend so much time waiting
be doing we spend so much time waiting for the other shoe to drop because we’ve
for the other shoe to drop because we’ve
for the other shoe to drop because we’ve spent so much time looking for the other
spent so much time looking for the other
spent so much time looking for the other shoe I mean literally how do you lose
shoe I mean literally how do you lose
shoe I mean literally how do you lose one shoe you just you take off one shoe
one shoe you just you take off one shoe
one shoe you just you take off one shoe and then walk around with one shoe on
and then walk around with one shoe on
and then walk around with one shoe on and then eventually take the other one
and then eventually take the other one
and then eventually take the other one off or or maybe you take it off and
off or or maybe you take it off and
off or or maybe you take it off and carry it around with you and you think
carry it around with you and you think
carry it around with you and you think I’ll put on top of the fridge I won’t
I’ll put on top of the fridge I won’t
I’ll put on top of the fridge I won’t remember I won’t forget that I put it
remember I won’t forget that I put it
remember I won’t forget that I put it there or maybe you actually just left it
there or maybe you actually just left it
there or maybe you actually just left it with the other shoe but you put your
with the other shoe but you put your
with the other shoe but you put your backpack on top of it and then when you
backpack on top of it and then when you
backpack on top of it and then when you can look went to look for your shoe you
can look went to look for your shoe you
can look went to look for your shoe you couldn’t be bothered to move the
couldn’t be bothered to move the
couldn’t be bothered to move the backpack so you swore it was gone and
backpack so you swore it was gone and
backpack so you swore it was gone and someone stole it and then someone else
someone stole it and then someone else
someone stole it and then someone else comes and moves the back packages it’s
comes and moves the back packages it’s
comes and moves the back packages it’s right there and then you feel really
right there and then you feel really
right there and then you feel really dumb it’s not just me maybe that happens
dumb it’s not just me maybe that happens
dumb it’s not just me maybe that happens too
too
too I think this sense of impending doom is
I think this sense of impending doom is
I think this sense of impending doom is best summed up by the words of my wife
best summed up by the words of my wife
best summed up by the words of my wife after I’d experienced three positive
after I’d experienced three positive
after I’d experienced three positive outcomes in a row and she looked at me
outcomes in a row and she looked at me
outcomes in a row and she looked at me with concern and said that’s too many
with concern and said that’s too many
with concern and said that’s too many good things and she was right a month
good things and she was right a month
good things and she was right a month later I was in the hospital with kidney
later I was in the hospital with kidney
later I was in the hospital with kidney stones so this sense of impending doom
stones so this sense of impending doom
stones so this sense of impending doom and disaster and falling short is known
and disaster and falling short is known
and disaster and falling short is known as learned helplessness learned
as learned helplessness learned
as learned helplessness learned helplessness is a tendency to give up
helplessness is a tendency to give up
helplessness is a tendency to give up easily when things get hard or to not
easily when things get hard or to not
easily when things get hard or to not even try in the first place because you
even try in the first place because you
even try in the first place because you assume that it will get hard and that
assume that it will get hard and that
assume that it will get hard and that you will fail or give up now amongst the
you will fail or give up now amongst the
you will fail or give up now amongst the clients to come to see me in my private
clients to come to see me in my private
clients to come to see me in my private practice those who meet the diagnostic
practice those who meet the diagnostic
practice those who meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD show levels have
criteria for ADHD show levels have
criteria for ADHD show levels have learned helplessness almost twice as
learned helplessness almost twice as
learned helplessness almost twice as high as the rest of my clients as
high as the rest of my clients as
high as the rest of my clients as indicated by this helpful chart when you
indicated by this helpful chart when you
indicated by this helpful chart when you realize the implications of that graph
realize the implications of that graph
realize the implications of that graph how miraculous is it that they’ve even
how miraculous is it that they’ve even
how miraculous is it that they’ve even come to my office but it also indicates
come to my office but it also indicates
come to my office but it also indicates one of the very cool paradoxes of the
one of the very cool paradoxes of the
one of the very cool paradoxes of the ADHD brain and that is the simultaneous
ADHD brain and that is the simultaneous
ADHD brain and that is the simultaneous experience of hopelessness and optimism
experience of hopelessness and optimism
experience of hopelessness and optimism now if you think about it how would I
now if you think about it how would I
now if you think about it how would I have accumulated so many experiences of
have accumulated so many experiences of
have accumulated so many experiences of falling short or failure if I hadn’t
falling short or failure if I hadn’t
falling short or failure if I hadn’t kept trying we excel in giving up and
kept trying we excel in giving up and
kept trying we excel in giving up and getting up the same brain function that
getting up the same brain function that
getting up the same brain function that makes it difficult for me to learn from
makes it difficult for me to learn from
makes it difficult for me to learn from my mistakes and continue to repeat them
my mistakes and continue to repeat them
my mistakes and continue to repeat them is the same thing that allows me to put
is the same thing that allows me to put
is the same thing that allows me to put those mistakes in the rearview mirror
those mistakes in the rearview mirror
those mistakes in the rearview mirror and look forward to the next challenge
and look forward to the next challenge
and look forward to the next challenge swearing this times different now after
swearing this times different now after
swearing this times different now after three decades of this I bought a book
three decades of this I bought a book
three decades of this I bought a book called scattered Minds by dr. Gabor maté
called scattered Minds by dr. Gabor maté
called scattered Minds by dr. Gabor maté a and I finally saw my life explained
a and I finally saw my life explained
a and I finally saw my life explained with four letters ADHD I went to a
with four letters ADHD I went to a
with four letters ADHD I went to a doctor I started taking a medication
doctor I started taking a medication
doctor I started taking a medication it immediately started to help my
it immediately started to help my
it immediately started to help my ability to focus pay attention regulate
ability to focus pay attention regulate
ability to focus pay attention regulate myself I finally had an explanation for
myself I finally had an explanation for
myself I finally had an explanation for what was previously called laziness or
what was previously called laziness or
what was previously called laziness or stupidity moodiness bad attitude I
stupidity moodiness bad attitude I
stupidity moodiness bad attitude I finally understood restlessness is not a
finally understood restlessness is not a
finally understood restlessness is not a crime and eventually I would come to
crime and eventually I would come to
crime and eventually I would come to understand that my ADHD brain has just
understand that my ADHD brain has just
understand that my ADHD brain has just as many enhancements as it does
as many enhancements as it does
as many enhancements as it does annoyances but after all this knowledge
annoyances but after all this knowledge
annoyances but after all this knowledge and learning and experience those labels
and learning and experience those labels
and learning and experience those labels are pretty hard to shake now how could
are pretty hard to shake now how could
are pretty hard to shake now how could this have been prevented when I when I
this have been prevented when I when I
this have been prevented when I when I posted these comments on my Facebook
posted these comments on my Facebook
posted these comments on my Facebook page from my report card one of my
page from my report card one of my
page from my report card one of my father was asked so what should the
father was asked so what should the
father was asked so what should the teacher have said instead I said well
teacher have said instead I said well
teacher have said instead I said well nothing really I mean they were
nothing really I mean they were
nothing really I mean they were factually accurate statements I was
factually accurate statements I was
factually accurate statements I was disorganized I was forgetful I was
disorganized I was forgetful I was
disorganized I was forgetful I was immature I was inconsistent and I was
immature I was inconsistent and I was
immature I was inconsistent and I was capable but what they didn’t understand
capable but what they didn’t understand
capable but what they didn’t understand was the difference between capability
was the difference between capability
was the difference between capability and capacity on paper my brain had all
and capacity on paper my brain had all
and capacity on paper my brain had all of the abilities necessary to do what
of the abilities necessary to do what
of the abilities necessary to do what school was asking of me but life isn’t
school was asking of me but life isn’t
school was asking of me but life isn’t lived on paper in reality my brain did
lived on paper in reality my brain did
lived on paper in reality my brain did not have the natural capacity to take
not have the natural capacity to take
not have the natural capacity to take all of those capabilities and put them
all of those capabilities and put them
all of those capabilities and put them into practice ADHD is well known as
into practice ADHD is well known as
into practice ADHD is well known as being a difficulty doing what you know
being a difficulty doing what you know
being a difficulty doing what you know now what if a different explanation was
now what if a different explanation was
now what if a different explanation was offered that my brain is just different
offered that my brain is just different
offered that my brain is just different not less that it was wired differently
not less that it was wired differently
not less that it was wired differently and that those differences were
and that those differences were
and that those differences were something to be celebrated but also
something to be celebrated but also
something to be celebrated but also compensated for and enjoyed but worked
compensated for and enjoyed but worked
compensated for and enjoyed but worked around and encouraged to be but also
around and encouraged to be but also
around and encouraged to be but also supported by a system that could channel
supported by a system that could channel
supported by a system that could channel me in the right direction
me in the right direction
me in the right direction what if along with focusing on my
what if along with focusing on my
what if along with focusing on my tendency to give up we focused on my
tendency to give up we focused on my
tendency to give up we focused on my tendency to keep
tendency to keep
tendency to keep when I was in elementary school I was
when I was in elementary school I was
when I was in elementary school I was visiting a good friend of mine and for
visiting a good friend of mine and for
visiting a good friend of mine and for fun he would build detailed models of
fun he would build detailed models of
fun he would build detailed models of Star Wars spaceships I I too loved the
Star Wars spaceships I I too loved the
Star Wars spaceships I I too loved the idea of building models I loved the idea
idea of building models I loved the idea
idea of building models I loved the idea I mean I literally couldn’t wait to
I mean I literally couldn’t wait to
I mean I literally couldn’t wait to finish the paint took too long the glue
finish the paint took too long the glue
finish the paint took too long the glue took too long there was too many parts
took too long there was too many parts
took too long there was too many parts and too many instructions and most of my
and too many instructions and most of my
and too many instructions and most of my models ended up on fire in the backyard
models ended up on fire in the backyard
models ended up on fire in the backyard smashed by a hammer my friend didn’t
smashed by a hammer my friend didn’t
smashed by a hammer my friend didn’t have that problem he had quite the
have that problem he had quite the
have that problem he had quite the prolific collection so one day I was at
prolific collection so one day I was at
prolific collection so one day I was at his house and I was climbing down from
his house and I was climbing down from
his house and I was climbing down from the top bunk and I put my hand on a
the top bunk and I put my hand on a
the top bunk and I put my hand on a shelf that held all of his Star Wars
shelf that held all of his Star Wars
shelf that held all of his Star Wars spaceships naively believing that
spaceships naively believing that
spaceships naively believing that shelves on the wall are fastened to the
shelves on the wall are fastened to the
shelves on the wall are fastened to the wall I can tell where your groans you
wall I can tell where your groans you
wall I can tell where your groans you can see where this is going as I leaned
can see where this is going as I leaned
can see where this is going as I leaned my weight on the Shelf it launched his
my weight on the Shelf it launched his
my weight on the Shelf it launched his spaceships like a catapult across the
spaceships like a catapult across the
spaceships like a catapult across the room where they smashed to the floor in
room where they smashed to the floor in
room where they smashed to the floor in pieces I felt sick instantly it was
pieces I felt sick instantly it was
pieces I felt sick instantly it was probably one of the lowest moments of my
probably one of the lowest moments of my
probably one of the lowest moments of my life
life
life it couldn’t be taken back it couldn’t be
it couldn’t be taken back it couldn’t be
it couldn’t be taken back it couldn’t be fixed now his dad heard the commotion
fixed now his dad heard the commotion
fixed now his dad heard the commotion and came rushing in and how do you think
and came rushing in and how do you think
and came rushing in and how do you think he handled it do you think he said hey
he handled it do you think he said hey
he handled it do you think he said hey that’s all right Ted everyone makes
that’s all right Ted everyone makes
that’s all right Ted everyone makes mistakes did he say my bad
mistakes did he say my bad
mistakes did he say my bad I should have fastened the shelf or you
I should have fastened the shelf or you
I should have fastened the shelf or you know what Ted what is the value of
know what Ted what is the value of
know what Ted what is the value of objects compared to the value of
objects compared to the value of
objects compared to the value of relationship
no no that’s not what he did he looked
no no that’s not what he did he looked down at me and asked that question that
down at me and asked that question that
down at me and asked that question that I’d asked of myself so many times Ted
I’d asked of myself so many times Ted
I’d asked of myself so many times Ted how could you do something so stupid
I’d ask that question so many times of
I’d ask that question so many times of myself last summer I had the opportunity
myself last summer I had the opportunity
myself last summer I had the opportunity to help out at a summer camp for kids
to help out at a summer camp for kids
to help out at a summer camp for kids around ten to twelve boys and girls full
around ten to twelve boys and girls full
around ten to twelve boys and girls full of energy very differing levels of
of energy very differing levels of
of energy very differing levels of interest in what we were doing there was
interest in what we were doing there was
interest in what we were doing there was one kid in particular who I recognized I
one kid in particular who I recognized I
one kid in particular who I recognized I recognized myself he was always a step
recognized myself he was always a step
recognized myself he was always a step slow he was lost in his mind he was
slow he was lost in his mind he was
slow he was lost in his mind he was curious about what we were doing he was
curious about what we were doing he was
curious about what we were doing he was introspective but that introspection was
introspective but that introspection was
introspective but that introspection was coming at the price of actually
coming at the price of actually
coming at the price of actually following instructions and doing what he
following instructions and doing what he
following instructions and doing what he was supposed to do so he spent a lot of
was supposed to do so he spent a lot of
was supposed to do so he spent a lot of time actually getting scolded by the
time actually getting scolded by the
time actually getting scolded by the troop leader what are you doing over
troop leader what are you doing over
troop leader what are you doing over there what did I say to do I finally
there what did I say to do I finally
there what did I say to do I finally felt bad enough for the kid that I
felt bad enough for the kid that I
felt bad enough for the kid that I pulled him aside and I said you’re not
pulled him aside and I said you’re not
pulled him aside and I said you’re not really a standing in line kind of guy
really a standing in line kind of guy
really a standing in line kind of guy area and he said no I’m not I said yeah
area and he said no I’m not I said yeah
area and he said no I’m not I said yeah I’m not either
I’m not either
I’m not either I think Robby has something to do with
I think Robby has something to do with
I think Robby has something to do with my ADHD brain and he looked at me and
my ADHD brain and he looked at me and
my ADHD brain and he looked at me and said you have ADHD I have ADHD and I
said you have ADHD I have ADHD and I
said you have ADHD I have ADHD and I said yeah I can tell and his face went
said yeah I can tell and his face went
said yeah I can tell and his face went red but it wasn’t the blush of
red but it wasn’t the blush of
red but it wasn’t the blush of embarrassment I know that one really
embarrassment I know that one really
embarrassment I know that one really well this is different
well this is different
well this is different this was the blush that comes with
this was the blush that comes with
this was the blush that comes with feeling connected to somebody feeling
feeling connected to somebody feeling
feeling connected to somebody feeling that for the first time a grown-up could
that for the first time a grown-up could
that for the first time a grown-up could relate to him
this was my investment in relatability
this was my investment in relatability paying off thank you
”
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