I have a struggle I want to live a life that is full and creative but I am
that is full and creative but I am
that is full and creative but I am constantly getting in my own way
constantly getting in my own way
constantly getting in my own way how by filling every still moment with
how by filling every still moment with
how by filling every still moment with more movement more doing more thinking
more movement more doing more thinking
more movement more doing more thinking which is the very thing that keeps me
which is the very thing that keeps me
which is the very thing that keeps me stuck and feeling less creative
stuck and feeling less creative
stuck and feeling less creative especially when I face complex
especially when I face complex
especially when I face complex challenges and that’s a problem because
challenges and that’s a problem because
challenges and that’s a problem because we live in a society where everyday
we live in a society where everyday
we live in a society where everyday demands on our life are growing more
demands on our life are growing more
demands on our life are growing more complex this challenge this struggle is
complex this challenge this struggle is
complex this challenge this struggle is so integral in such a constant teacher
so integral in such a constant teacher
so integral in such a constant teacher for me that I’ve made it my life’s work
for me that I’ve made it my life’s work
for me that I’ve made it my life’s work not only for myself but in helping
not only for myself but in helping
not only for myself but in helping individuals and teams thrive in a
individuals and teams thrive in a
individuals and teams thrive in a complex world with more grace more
complex world with more grace more
complex world with more grace more creativity this journey for me started
creativity this journey for me started
creativity this journey for me started 20 years ago when I ran right into a
20 years ago when I ran right into a
20 years ago when I ran right into a brick wall 1996 I live in Buenos Aires
brick wall 1996 I live in Buenos Aires
brick wall 1996 I live in Buenos Aires my husband is back in Montreal I applied
my husband is back in Montreal I applied
my husband is back in Montreal I applied twice a week between Brazil and Toronto
twice a week between Brazil and Toronto
twice a week between Brazil and Toronto armed with my engineering degree a
armed with my engineering degree a
armed with my engineering degree a Harvard MBA a job in a top management
Harvard MBA a job in a top management
Harvard MBA a job in a top management consulting firm find six seven times a
consulting firm find six seven times a
consulting firm find six seven times a week I am somebody i am making things
week I am somebody i am making things
week I am somebody i am making things happen sleep is overrated
happen sleep is overrated
happen sleep is overrated I can power through any physical fatigue
I can power through any physical fatigue
I can power through any physical fatigue thirty years old time two children I get
thirty years old time two children I get
thirty years old time two children I get off the pill nothing happens
off the pill nothing happens
off the pill nothing happens I don’t ovulate I try a few things still
I don’t ovulate I try a few things still
I don’t ovulate I try a few things still nothing six months later I’m worried
nothing six months later I’m worried
nothing six months later I’m worried my sister she’s a gifted physician takes
my sister she’s a gifted physician takes
my sister she’s a gifted physician takes me to every specialist she knows to fix
me to every specialist she knows to fix
me to every specialist she knows to fix this until one says to her one doctor
this until one says to her one doctor
this until one says to her one doctor there’s nothing wrong with your sister’s
there’s nothing wrong with your sister’s
there’s nothing wrong with your sister’s body there’s just no space in our life
body there’s just no space in our life
body there’s just no space in our life for a baby and another one says to me
for a baby and another one says to me
for a baby and another one says to me just like animals in survival mode
just like animals in survival mode
just like animals in survival mode you’re shutting down your rep reductive
you’re shutting down your rep reductive
you’re shutting down your rep reductive system to deal with the overload in your
system to deal with the overload in your
system to deal with the overload in your life now if you had asked me at that
life now if you had asked me at that
life now if you had asked me at that moment if I was under stress I would
moment if I was under stress I would
moment if I was under stress I would have said no I could not feel nor hear
have said no I could not feel nor hear
have said no I could not feel nor hear the warning signs in my own body
the warning signs in my own body
the warning signs in my own body but out of despair I slowed down just
but out of despair I slowed down just
but out of despair I slowed down just enough to create just enough space to
enough to create just enough space to
enough to create just enough space to get pregnant
get pregnant
get pregnant great I did it now nine months to go
great I did it now nine months to go
great I did it now nine months to go time to get back in my performance mode
time to get back in my performance mode
time to get back in my performance mode go go go seven months later I’m holding
go go go seven months later I’m holding
go go go seven months later I’m holding her son still born I feel defeated as if
her son still born I feel defeated as if
her son still born I feel defeated as if someone’s laughing at me out there I’m
someone’s laughing at me out there I’m
someone’s laughing at me out there I’m doing a lot I’m running fast I’m trying
doing a lot I’m running fast I’m trying
doing a lot I’m running fast I’m trying hard but if I had been honest with
hard but if I had been honest with
hard but if I had been honest with myself
myself
myself nothing nothing had really shifted and I
nothing nothing had really shifted and I
nothing nothing had really shifted and I wasn’t very creative in any domains of
wasn’t very creative in any domains of
wasn’t very creative in any domains of my life even though I was out there
my life even though I was out there
my life even though I was out there performing I could not conceive of
performing I could not conceive of
performing I could not conceive of anything different I could not bring
anything different I could not bring
anything different I could not bring forth new life and nothing nothing
forth new life and nothing nothing
forth new life and nothing nothing mattered more I see today how it felt to
mattered more I see today how it felt to
mattered more I see today how it felt to vulnerable to let stillness really enter
vulnerable to let stillness really enter
vulnerable to let stillness really enter my life I was stuck in this pattern of
my life I was stuck in this pattern of
my life I was stuck in this pattern of efforting trying again and again with
efforting trying again and again with
efforting trying again and again with the same doing the same thinking hoping
the same doing the same thinking hoping
the same doing the same thinking hoping for a different outcome
for a different outcome
for a different outcome so why why did I get so stuck why do we
so why why did I get so stuck why do we
so why why did I get so stuck why do we often get so stuck here’s what I’ve come
often get so stuck here’s what I’ve come
often get so stuck here’s what I’ve come to realize the challenge lies in the
to realize the challenge lies in the
to realize the challenge lies in the polarity between movement and stillness
polarity between movement and stillness
polarity between movement and stillness in movement we think we act we initiate
in movement we think we act we initiate
in movement we think we act we initiate we express our will we participate in
we express our will we participate in
we express our will we participate in the world and the world response
the world and the world response
the world and the world response movement is essential and there’s many
movement is essential and there’s many
movement is essential and there’s many forces inviting us into moving faster
forces inviting us into moving faster
forces inviting us into moving faster and faster more technology more
and faster more technology more
and faster more technology more information more options the trap is and
information more options the trap is and
information more options the trap is and we can easily overdose on movement it
we can easily overdose on movement it
we can easily overdose on movement it may look like this upon waking we have
may look like this upon waking we have
may look like this upon waking we have our most still creative moment of the
our most still creative moment of the
our most still creative moment of the day and what do we often do we give it
day and what do we often do we give it
day and what do we often do we give it away to the first email we can find we
away to the first email we can find we
away to the first email we can find we put on our badge of multitasking and
put on our badge of multitasking and
put on our badge of multitasking and join up for the busy world after a while
join up for the busy world after a while
join up for the busy world after a while we start to feel in a bit tense anxious
we start to feel in a bit tense anxious
we start to feel in a bit tense anxious reactive and pretty quickly we find
reactive and pretty quickly we find
reactive and pretty quickly we find ourselves running right into habit once
ourselves running right into habit once
ourselves running right into habit once in our hamster wheel we lose our agility
in our hamster wheel we lose our agility
in our hamster wheel we lose our agility to adapt and be creative because there’s
to adapt and be creative because there’s
to adapt and be creative because there’s no space nor time to see differently in
no space nor time to see differently in
no space nor time to see differently in stillness on the other hand we we
stillness on the other hand we we
stillness on the other hand we we breathe
we feel calmer we open to insight we
we feel calmer we open to insight we gain elevation and from there we might
gain elevation and from there we might
gain elevation and from there we might be able to see more clearly hold
be able to see more clearly hold
be able to see more clearly hold multiple perspective catch a glimpse of
multiple perspective catch a glimpse of
multiple perspective catch a glimpse of the future even touch a sense of
the future even touch a sense of
the future even touch a sense of belonging to something bigger beyond our
belonging to something bigger beyond our
belonging to something bigger beyond our achievements and there’s a need for more
achievements and there’s a need for more
achievements and there’s a need for more stillness today there is a reason why we
stillness today there is a reason why we
stillness today there is a reason why we have more than 100 apps on our phones to
have more than 100 apps on our phones to
have more than 100 apps on our phones to teach us how to meditate mindfulness
teach us how to meditate mindfulness
teach us how to meditate mindfulness right at the checkout counter 3500
right at the checkout counter 3500
right at the checkout counter 3500 studies to convince us yet despite all
studies to convince us yet despite all
studies to convince us yet despite all of this help research recently published
of this help research recently published
of this help research recently published in the Harvard Business Review shows
in the Harvard Business Review shows
in the Harvard Business Review shows that we now have an epidemic of adults
that we now have an epidemic of adults
that we now have an epidemic of adults diagnosed with self-induced ADT
diagnosed with self-induced ADT
diagnosed with self-induced ADT attention deficit rate we sent our
attention deficit rate we sent our
attention deficit rate we sent our bodies into crisis and shut down our own
bodies into crisis and shut down our own
bodies into crisis and shut down our own capacity for intuition and creativity
capacity for intuition and creativity
capacity for intuition and creativity which is likely why creativity has been
which is likely why creativity has been
which is likely why creativity has been raided by a global poll of CEOs as the
raided by a global poll of CEOs as the
raided by a global poll of CEOs as the number one most in-demand yet often more
number one most in-demand yet often more
number one most in-demand yet often more scarce leadership competency so why is
scarce leadership competency so why is
scarce leadership competency so why is that because most of us see movement and
that because most of us see movement and
that because most of us see movement and stillness as an either/or choice either
stillness as an either/or choice either
stillness as an either/or choice either on or off act or reflect and it leaves
on or off act or reflect and it leaves
on or off act or reflect and it leaves us feeling this constant tension of
us feeling this constant tension of
us feeling this constant tension of never having enough time to either do it
never having enough time to either do it
never having enough time to either do it all or to be still especially of demands
all or to be still especially of demands
all or to be still especially of demands on our life through a more complex but
on our life through a more complex but
on our life through a more complex but there’s another way to experience our
there’s another way to experience our
there’s another way to experience our life by shifting to a bold stillness and
life by shifting to a bold stillness and
life by shifting to a bold stillness and movement mindset because the reality is
movement mindset because the reality is
movement mindset because the reality is there’s a natural self-correcting
there’s a natural self-correcting
there’s a natural self-correcting tension between the two just as there is
tension between the two just as there is
tension between the two just as there is between the out-breath and the in breath
between the out-breath and the in breath
between the out-breath and the in breath if we resist it go too far into the
if we resist it go too far into the
if we resist it go too far into the extreme we fall into the downside our
extreme we fall into the downside our
extreme we fall into the downside our hamster wheel but if we restore the
hamster wheel but if we restore the
hamster wheel but if we restore the natural flow between the two we then get
natural flow between the two we then get
natural flow between the two we then get the benefit of both we regain our
the benefit of both we regain our
the benefit of both we regain our agility to be creative and adapt while
agility to be creative and adapt while
agility to be creative and adapt while staying in action facing challenges just
staying in action facing challenges just
staying in action facing challenges just like an eagle in a turbulence who
like an eagle in a turbulence who
like an eagle in a turbulence who becomes really still to catch the wind
becomes really still to catch the wind
becomes really still to catch the wind and glide higher with grace and beauty
now we know more about practicing
now we know more about practicing stillness separate from the game of life
stillness separate from the game of life
stillness separate from the game of life but how do we do it while staying in the
but how do we do it while staying in the
but how do we do it while staying in the game especially in the heat of our
game especially in the heat of our
game especially in the heat of our toughest interactions when facing
toughest interactions when facing
toughest interactions when facing complex challenges we’ve all been in one
complex challenges we’ve all been in one
complex challenges we’ve all been in one of these dialogues where what looks like
of these dialogues where what looks like
of these dialogues where what looks like a great debate is actually a match of I
a great debate is actually a match of I
a great debate is actually a match of I am right and you are wrong back with an
am right and you are wrong back with an
am right and you are wrong back with an arsenal of facts data opinions and
arsenal of facts data opinions and
arsenal of facts data opinions and underlying fear I mean one of these
underlying fear I mean one of these
underlying fear I mean one of these recently as a team coach the CEO and the
recently as a team coach the CEO and the
recently as a team coach the CEO and the CFO are debating out to get operating
CFO are debating out to get operating
CFO are debating out to get operating the results back on track productivity
the results back on track productivity
the results back on track productivity is down it’s putting a crystal merger of
is down it’s putting a crystal merger of
is down it’s putting a crystal merger of two companies one argues to close plants
two companies one argues to close plants
two companies one argues to close plants the other one to reallocate resource but
the other one to reallocate resource but
the other one to reallocate resource but often suboptimal too much relocation
often suboptimal too much relocation
often suboptimal too much relocation costs the two are spinning in their
costs the two are spinning in their
costs the two are spinning in their separate hamster wheel tensions rising
separate hamster wheel tensions rising
separate hamster wheel tensions rising after a while I sent both just to stop
after a while I sent both just to stop
after a while I sent both just to stop pause I invited to notice what they feel
pause I invited to notice what they feel
pause I invited to notice what they feel but not to answer what they really want
but not to answer what they really want
but not to answer what they really want but not to answer what they could both
but not to answer what they could both
but not to answer what they could both possibly be missing as they let go there
possibly be missing as they let go there
possibly be missing as they let go there need to be right they become still
need to be right they become still
need to be right they become still listening more deeply
listening more deeply
listening more deeply you can feel the difference it’s as if
you can feel the difference it’s as if
you can feel the difference it’s as if time slowed down and there’s more space
time slowed down and there’s more space
time slowed down and there’s more space in the dialogue paradoxically the
in the dialogue paradoxically the
in the dialogue paradoxically the stillness invites a new quality of
stillness invites a new quality of
stillness invites a new quality of movement asking different questions
movement asking different questions
movement asking different questions looking for the missing perspective more
looking for the missing perspective more
looking for the missing perspective more connection they gain elevation and all
connection they gain elevation and all
connection they gain elevation and all of a sudden they notice a new pattern in
of a sudden they notice a new pattern in
of a sudden they notice a new pattern in the data absenteeism project delays has
the data absenteeism project delays has
the data absenteeism project delays has been trending down actually trending up
been trending down actually trending up
been trending down actually trending up and they realize that maybe maybe
and they realize that maybe maybe
and they realize that maybe maybe there’s a lot of fear and anxiety in the
there’s a lot of fear and anxiety in the
there’s a lot of fear and anxiety in the employee base so what do they do we end
employee base so what do they do we end
employee base so what do they do we end up clearing up their schedules and
up clearing up their schedules and
up clearing up their schedules and experimenting with planned visits
experimenting with planned visits
experimenting with planned visits listening soliciting ideas and that made
listening soliciting ideas and that made
listening soliciting ideas and that made all the difference
all the difference
all the difference productivity went back up costs went
productivity went back up costs went
productivity went back up costs went down employees really reengage helping
down employees really reengage helping
down employees really reengage helping the merger go smoothly now everyday
the merger go smoothly now everyday
the merger go smoothly now everyday challenges are growing more complex
caring for aging parents raising
caring for aging parents raising successful children have social
successful children have social
successful children have social financial issues lots of interconnected
financial issues lots of interconnected
financial issues lots of interconnected moving parts no easy answers and the
moving parts no easy answers and the
moving parts no easy answers and the point of the story is that we can more
point of the story is that we can more
point of the story is that we can more effectively navigate complex challenges
effectively navigate complex challenges
effectively navigate complex challenges when we let stillness meet movement
when we let stillness meet movement
when we let stillness meet movement creating space within ourselves within
creating space within ourselves within
creating space within ourselves within the dialogue for something new to emerge
the dialogue for something new to emerge
the dialogue for something new to emerge new solutions but that’s often
new solutions but that’s often
new solutions but that’s often uncomfortable for most of us so why is
uncomfortable for most of us so why is
uncomfortable for most of us so why is that why do we resist letting stillness
that why do we resist letting stillness
that why do we resist letting stillness meet movement when the stakes are high
meet movement when the stakes are high
meet movement when the stakes are high most often because we are afraid and
most often because we are afraid and
most often because we are afraid and I’ve come to realize them when I am
I’ve come to realize them when I am
I’ve come to realize them when I am stuck in my wheel I do not even know
stuck in my wheel I do not even know
stuck in my wheel I do not even know then I am afraid I’m so used to it but
then I am afraid I’m so used to it but
then I am afraid I’m so used to it but here are my warning signs I start to
here are my warning signs I start to
here are my warning signs I start to tense up my head moves forward my shake
tense up my head moves forward my shake
tense up my head moves forward my shake goes stronger and then I interrupt I
goes stronger and then I interrupt I
goes stronger and then I interrupt I repeat myself I interrupt and I can
repeat myself I interrupt and I can
repeat myself I interrupt and I can sometimes sometimes I can be
your signs may be different maybe you
your signs may be different maybe you would draw maybe you shut down
would draw maybe you shut down
would draw maybe you shut down maybe you procrastinate but why why do
maybe you procrastinate but why why do
maybe you procrastinate but why why do we ignore these warning signs I believe
we ignore these warning signs I believe
we ignore these warning signs I believe at the root of this is our desire to
at the root of this is our desire to
at the root of this is our desire to outrun our deeper feelings here’s what
outrun our deeper feelings here’s what
outrun our deeper feelings here’s what the voice of my fears sounds like I
the voice of my fears sounds like I
the voice of my fears sounds like I don’t want to be still so keep moving I
don’t want to be still so keep moving I
don’t want to be still so keep moving I mean I’ll be understood so keep talking
mean I’ll be understood so keep talking
mean I’ll be understood so keep talking keep explaining I may not be able to fix
keep explaining I may not be able to fix
keep explaining I may not be able to fix it and make it perfect so keep trying
it and make it perfect so keep trying
it and make it perfect so keep trying and then I mean I’ll be needed and if
and then I mean I’ll be needed and if
and then I mean I’ll be needed and if I’m not being needed how can I be worthy
I’m not being needed how can I be worthy
I’m not being needed how can I be worthy or be long can you imagine with the
or be long can you imagine with the
or be long can you imagine with the voice of these fears how often I got in
voice of these fears how often I got in
voice of these fears how often I got in my own way writing this talk not wanting
my own way writing this talk not wanting
my own way writing this talk not wanting to let go of the safety of my logic it
to let go of the safety of my logic it
to let go of the safety of my logic it was miserable now we each have our story
was miserable now we each have our story
was miserable now we each have our story but regardless of age gender tenure
but regardless of age gender tenure
but regardless of age gender tenure title culture nobody is alone in their
title culture nobody is alone in their
title culture nobody is alone in their fears fear is actually what gets us into
fears fear is actually what gets us into
fears fear is actually what gets us into movement but it can quickly become what
movement but it can quickly become what
movement but it can quickly become what keeps us stuck into habit when we try to
keeps us stuck into habit when we try to
keeps us stuck into habit when we try to fight it away and yet what will most
fight it away and yet what will most
fight it away and yet what will most surely melt that fear in the moment of
surely melt that fear in the moment of
surely melt that fear in the moment of the tension is stillness I’d like to get
the tension is stillness I’d like to get
the tension is stillness I’d like to get back to where I started with my story in
back to where I started with my story in
back to where I started with my story in our darkest moment of loss my husband
our darkest moment of loss my husband
our darkest moment of loss my husband and I retreated to the snowy Canadian
and I retreated to the snowy Canadian
and I retreated to the snowy Canadian Rockies in search of some healing and I
Rockies in search of some healing and I
Rockies in search of some healing and I remember this sunny morning venturing
remember this sunny morning venturing
remember this sunny morning venturing into the backcountry surrounded by so so
into the backcountry surrounded by so so
into the backcountry surrounded by so so much beauty yet I could not feel it and
much beauty yet I could not feel it and
much beauty yet I could not feel it and I realized that part of me is numb I
I realized that part of me is numb I
I realized that part of me is numb I didn’t
didn’t
didn’t and that is when I made the serious
and that is when I made the serious
and that is when I made the serious commitment to practicing stillness into
commitment to practicing stillness into
commitment to practicing stillness into my life ditching my ipod so i could feel
my life ditching my ipod so i could feel
my life ditching my ipod so i could feel nature while jogging queening space with
nature while jogging queening space with
nature while jogging queening space with that email debriding yin yoga and yes
that email debriding yin yoga and yes
that email debriding yin yoga and yes even even nearly meditation I started to
even even nearly meditation I started to
even even nearly meditation I started to trust with my heart what my mind could
trust with my heart what my mind could
trust with my heart what my mind could not yet understand in life answered with
not yet understand in life answered with
not yet understand in life answered with the birth of my two beautiful daughters
both born without a change in career nor
both born without a change in career nor context
we’ve made the mountains our permanent
we’ve made the mountains our permanent home for the last decade and they
home for the last decade and they
home for the last decade and they continue to be my best teachers nature
continue to be my best teachers nature
continue to be my best teachers nature doesn’t struggle with complex change it
doesn’t struggle with complex change it
doesn’t struggle with complex change it embraces it
embraces it
embraces it using this continuous loop of movement
using this continuous loop of movement
using this continuous loop of movement and stillness of growth and renewal to
and stillness of growth and renewal to
and stillness of growth and renewal to constantly adapt evolve transform so I
constantly adapt evolve transform so I
constantly adapt evolve transform so I would like to leave you with an app that
would like to leave you with an app that
would like to leave you with an app that I created to remind myself yes I know
I created to remind myself yes I know
I created to remind myself yes I know another app now this one is an acronym a
another app now this one is an acronym a
another app now this one is an acronym a stands for awareness becoming aware of
stands for awareness becoming aware of
stands for awareness becoming aware of our warning signs our body sensations
our warning signs our body sensations
our warning signs our body sensations our fears our habit before before they
our fears our habit before before they
our fears our habit before before they become screams peers for pause pause
become screams peers for pause pause
become screams peers for pause pause stop interrupt the habit even if we
stop interrupt the habit even if we
stop interrupt the habit even if we don’t know where we’ll lead us
don’t know where we’ll lead us
don’t know where we’ll lead us and the last piece for practice practice
and the last piece for practice practice
and the last piece for practice practice builds capacity we can practice right
builds capacity we can practice right
builds capacity we can practice right now if you want
now if you want
now if you want I invite you if you want to notice if
I invite you if you want to notice if
I invite you if you want to notice if you’re holding your breath allowing it
you’re holding your breath allowing it
you’re holding your breath allowing it to become fuller just opening to receive
to become fuller just opening to receive
to become fuller just opening to receive and listen
but the point the point is not to turn
but the point the point is not to turn this into one more thing on our to-do
this into one more thing on our to-do
this into one more thing on our to-do list it is to integrate it as a way of
list it is to integrate it as a way of
list it is to integrate it as a way of life one moment is all it takes before
life one moment is all it takes before
life one moment is all it takes before answering the phone before entering a
answering the phone before entering a
answering the phone before entering a meeting and ultimately right in the
meeting and ultimately right in the
meeting and ultimately right in the midst of our toughest interactions
midst of our toughest interactions
midst of our toughest interactions because when we let movement meet
because when we let movement meet
because when we let movement meet stillness we open to more space new
stillness we open to more space new
stillness we open to more space new possibilities emerge and we can discover
possibilities emerge and we can discover
possibilities emerge and we can discover our way to new solutions and that is on
our way to new solutions and that is on
our way to new solutions and that is on the heart of living a life that really
the heart of living a life that really
the heart of living a life that really matters
”
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