I would like to start my talk by implanting two questions into each and
implanting two questions into each and
implanting two questions into each and every one of you have you ever been
every one of you have you ever been
every one of you have you ever been contemptuous towards somebody has
contemptuous towards somebody has
contemptuous towards somebody has somebody else ever been contemptuous
somebody else ever been contemptuous
somebody else ever been contemptuous towards you this is something that
towards you this is something that
towards you this is something that actually happens a lot with humans
actually happens a lot with humans
actually happens a lot with humans contempt
contempt
contempt especially in adolescence a time of
especially in adolescence a time of
especially in adolescence a time of desire confusion and transformation we
desire confusion and transformation we
desire confusion and transformation we are advanced complicated creatures but
are advanced complicated creatures but
are advanced complicated creatures but our nature is still that of animals
our nature is still that of animals
our nature is still that of animals animals are defined as multicellular
animals are defined as multicellular
animals are defined as multicellular organisms that can move on entirely
organisms that can move on entirely
organisms that can move on entirely acquire food and digest that food and we
acquire food and digest that food and we
acquire food and digest that food and we in fact do those things now you may not
in fact do those things now you may not
in fact do those things now you may not believe me but I’m here to tell you the
believe me but I’m here to tell you the
believe me but I’m here to tell you the truth we are all animals however the
truth we are all animals however the
truth we are all animals however the life stuffs we have created seem distant
life stuffs we have created seem distant
life stuffs we have created seem distant so what other animals may have
so what other animals may have
so what other animals may have accomplished in the grand scheme of
accomplished in the grand scheme of
accomplished in the grand scheme of things we have created jobs we have
things we have created jobs we have
things we have created jobs we have created homes we have created
created homes we have created
created homes we have created civilizations no other animal on earth
civilizations no other animal on earth
civilizations no other animal on earth has ever been as innovative as us
has ever been as innovative as us
has ever been as innovative as us considering that we have even
considering that we have even
considering that we have even domesticated other animals that we can
domesticated other animals that we can
domesticated other animals that we can communicate with each other through
communicate with each other through
communicate with each other through languages and that we are far more
languages and that we are far more
languages and that we are far more civilized than elephants and chimps or
civilized than elephants and chimps or
civilized than elephants and chimps or any other animal that we know of so if
any other animal that we know of so if
any other animal that we know of so if we are in fact so evolved I ask you why
we are in fact so evolved I ask you why
we are in fact so evolved I ask you why is our behavior so similar to theirs let
is our behavior so similar to theirs let
is our behavior so similar to theirs let me explain animals living groups and
me explain animals living groups and
me explain animals living groups and within those groups they have rankings
within those groups they have rankings
within those groups they have rankings for reason such as age or strength and
for reason such as age or strength and
for reason such as age or strength and some of the animals are considered more
some of the animals are considered more
some of the animals are considered more important than others some of the
important than others some of the
important than others some of the animals are considered better than
animals are considered better than
animals are considered better than others for example chimps for chimps
others for example chimps for chimps
others for example chimps for chimps age is a big factor when it comes to
age is a big factor when it comes to
age is a big factor when it comes to deciding who becomes the alpha male as
deciding who becomes the alpha male as
deciding who becomes the alpha male as well as abilities in fighting and
well as abilities in fighting and
well as abilities in fighting and protecting their own by demonstrating
protecting their own by demonstrating
protecting their own by demonstrating intelligence and physical strength now
intelligence and physical strength now
intelligence and physical strength now to visualize chimps interacting this way
to visualize chimps interacting this way
to visualize chimps interacting this way between them seems very distant from the
between them seems very distant from the
between them seems very distant from the way that we humans make decisions and
way that we humans make decisions and
way that we humans make decisions and how we socialize but is it really that
how we socialize but is it really that
how we socialize but is it really that different it can be clearly seen that in
different it can be clearly seen that in
different it can be clearly seen that in high school specifically in our high
high school specifically in our high
high school specifically in our high school there’s a social hierarchy
school there’s a social hierarchy
school there’s a social hierarchy it is based similarly to the hierarchy
it is based similarly to the hierarchy
it is based similarly to the hierarchy of the chimps I just described it is
of the chimps I just described it is
of the chimps I just described it is based on traits that we as humans may
based on traits that we as humans may
based on traits that we as humans may consider desirable such as extraversion
consider desirable such as extraversion
consider desirable such as extraversion cleverness athletic abilities popularity
cleverness athletic abilities popularity
cleverness athletic abilities popularity and timpz also fight for a spot at the
and timpz also fight for a spot at the
and timpz also fight for a spot at the top of the rarities not necessarily by
top of the rarities not necessarily by
top of the rarities not necessarily by physically attacking the other members
physically attacking the other members
physically attacking the other members more often they threaten and taunt each
more often they threaten and taunt each
more often they threaten and taunt each others by using gestures and that tool
others by using gestures and that tool
others by using gestures and that tool can be seen in US but it’s slightly
can be seen in US but it’s slightly
can be seen in US but it’s slightly different have you ever been part of a
different have you ever been part of a
different have you ever been part of a conversation and someone tries to
conversation and someone tries to
conversation and someone tries to impress others or someone tries to bring
impress others or someone tries to bring
impress others or someone tries to bring somebody else down an obvious example of
somebody else down an obvious example of
somebody else down an obvious example of this is the scenario in which two guys
this is the scenario in which two guys
this is the scenario in which two guys are talking to a girl and they both
are talking to a girl and they both
are talking to a girl and they both think she’s attractive so they
think she’s attractive so they
think she’s attractive so they indirectly fight for her trying to raise
indirectly fight for her trying to raise
indirectly fight for her trying to raise their own image by bragging and pushing
their own image by bragging and pushing
their own image by bragging and pushing the other one down and it’s just like
the other one down and it’s just like
the other one down and it’s just like the chimps except instead of physically
the chimps except instead of physically
the chimps except instead of physically attacking and threatening we humans tend
attacking and threatening we humans tend
attacking and threatening we humans tend to passive aggressively lower other
to passive aggressively lower other
to passive aggressively lower other self-esteem and status thereby raising
self-esteem and status thereby raising
self-esteem and status thereby raising our own it may be easy for you to
our own it may be easy for you to
our own it may be easy for you to identify those who have the most
identify those who have the most
identify those who have the most influence in our school those were at
influence in our school those were at
influence in our school those were at the top of a hurricane these people are
the top of a hurricane these people are
the top of a hurricane these people are generally considered more attractive
generally considered more attractive
generally considered more attractive more athletic taller stronger smarter
more athletic taller stronger smarter
more athletic taller stronger smarter it’s unwritten but we seem to hold it as
it’s unwritten but we seem to hold it as
it’s unwritten but we seem to hold it as law everybody knows it and everybody is
law everybody knows it and everybody is
law everybody knows it and everybody is aware of it but it is not often
aware of it but it is not often
aware of it but it is not often mentioned a question I frequently ask
mentioned a question I frequently ask
mentioned a question I frequently ask myself is what would happen if the
myself is what would happen if the
myself is what would happen if the most popular student were suddenly nice
most popular student were suddenly nice
most popular student were suddenly nice to at least popular if the alpha-male
to at least popular if the alpha-male
to at least popular if the alpha-male hold the hand for the one at the bottom
hold the hand for the one at the bottom
hold the hand for the one at the bottom vo mega allow me to paint you a picture
vo mega allow me to paint you a picture
vo mega allow me to paint you a picture there are two students student a his
there are two students student a his
there are two students student a his name is John and student B his name is
name is John and student B his name is
name is John and student B his name is Arnold John is very extroverted he’s
Arnold John is very extroverted he’s
Arnold John is very extroverted he’s popular he’s athletic and he has a lot
popular he’s athletic and he has a lot
popular he’s athletic and he has a lot of friends meanwhile Arnold is the
of friends meanwhile Arnold is the
of friends meanwhile Arnold is the complete opposite
complete opposite
complete opposite he’s interpretive he’s quiet shy and he
he’s interpretive he’s quiet shy and he
he’s interpretive he’s quiet shy and he has very few friends now from my
has very few friends now from my
has very few friends now from my experience John wouldn’t generally talk
experience John wouldn’t generally talk
experience John wouldn’t generally talk much to Arnold but what if he did what
much to Arnold but what if he did what
much to Arnold but what if he did what if he was suddenly very nice to Arnold
if he was suddenly very nice to Arnold
if he was suddenly very nice to Arnold obviously our learner will be happy he’d
obviously our learner will be happy he’d
obviously our learner will be happy he’d be happy because he feel that he’s been
be happy because he feel that he’s been
be happy because he feel that he’s been accepted but he would not be draining
accepted but he would not be draining
accepted but he would not be draining John’s energy John might actually feel
John’s energy John might actually feel
John’s energy John might actually feel good about it too knowing that he’s made
good about it too knowing that he’s made
good about it too knowing that he’s made somebody else happy also by doing this
somebody else happy also by doing this
somebody else happy also by doing this John exposes himself to something
John exposes himself to something
John exposes himself to something interesting and great he opens a doorway
interesting and great he opens a doorway
interesting and great he opens a doorway through the possibility that this person
through the possibility that this person
through the possibility that this person that others looked at contemptuously
that others looked at contemptuously
that others looked at contemptuously this person that others prejudged might
this person that others prejudged might
this person that others prejudged might actually have a great personality he
actually have a great personality he
actually have a great personality he might actually be a great person it’s
might actually be a great person it’s
might actually be a great person it’s clearly a win-win situation as a
clearly a win-win situation as a
clearly a win-win situation as a freshman I discovered something amazing
freshman I discovered something amazing
freshman I discovered something amazing I used to look at people outside of my
I used to look at people outside of my
I used to look at people outside of my social circle people that I didn’t know
social circle people that I didn’t know
social circle people that I didn’t know and I created these images in my mind of
and I created these images in my mind of
and I created these images in my mind of who I thought they were and I’d assume
who I thought they were and I’d assume
who I thought they were and I’d assume that truly were in fact and for unknown
that truly were in fact and for unknown
that truly were in fact and for unknown reasons I disliked them without having
reasons I disliked them without having
reasons I disliked them without having ever met them this is the nature of
ever met them this is the nature of
ever met them this is the nature of prejudice there is a particular senior
prejudice there is a particular senior
prejudice there is a particular senior that I really got to know this year and
that I really got to know this year and
that I really got to know this year and I always knew who he was I knew what he
I always knew who he was I knew what he
I always knew who he was I knew what he did and I knew his friends world and I
did and I knew his friends world and I
did and I knew his friends world and I am ashamed to say that a preacher’s
am ashamed to say that a preacher’s
am ashamed to say that a preacher’s thing I assumed there was a person with
thing I assumed there was a person with
thing I assumed there was a person with very little insight about the world in a
very little insight about the world in a
very little insight about the world in a very obvious and shadow personality and
very obvious and shadow personality and
very obvious and shadow personality and it took me one experience it took me one
it took me one experience it took me one
it took me one experience it took me one conversation with this person to change
conversation with this person to change
conversation with this person to change my whole perspective
my whole perspective
my whole perspective or what is thought of him and it turns
or what is thought of him and it turns
or what is thought of him and it turns out he’s a very nice person with
out he’s a very nice person with
out he’s a very nice person with thoughts incidentally very similar to
thoughts incidentally very similar to
thoughts incidentally very similar to mine and as I kept meeting people with
mine and as I kept meeting people with
mine and as I kept meeting people with an open mind this kept happening and by
an open mind this kept happening and by
an open mind this kept happening and by paying attention to this
paying attention to this
paying attention to this I learned something crucial the benefit
I learned something crucial the benefit
I learned something crucial the benefit of the doubt Highschool is big and it is
of the doubt Highschool is big and it is
of the doubt Highschool is big and it is filled with a lot of people and you
filled with a lot of people and you
filled with a lot of people and you shouldn’t make assumptions about any of
shouldn’t make assumptions about any of
shouldn’t make assumptions about any of them because you can never really know
them because you can never really know
them because you can never really know about anything until you’ve experienced
about anything until you’ve experienced
about anything until you’ve experienced it it is the same that as a community we
it it is the same that as a community we
it it is the same that as a community we divide ourselves when it will be so
divide ourselves when it will be so
divide ourselves when it will be so simple for us to be united this can be
simple for us to be united this can be
simple for us to be united this can be changed by every person making by every
changed by every person making by every
changed by every person making by every individual person making a difference in
individual person making a difference in
individual person making a difference in their own inner circles whether you’re
their own inner circles whether you’re
their own inner circles whether you’re at the top or at the bottom of the
at the top or at the bottom of the
at the top or at the bottom of the hierarchy treat everybody the same treat
hierarchy treat everybody the same treat
hierarchy treat everybody the same treat everybody as equals because we are
everybody as equals because we are
everybody as equals because we are people should be equally influential
people should be equally influential
people should be equally influential therefore if as a group we start acting
therefore if as a group we start acting
therefore if as a group we start acting more inclusively that change might
more inclusively that change might
more inclusively that change might spread take a look at fish for example
spread take a look at fish for example
spread take a look at fish for example in a school fish if one fish slightly
in a school fish if one fish slightly
in a school fish if one fish slightly moves away towards another direction the
moves away towards another direction the
moves away towards another direction the rest quickly follow and this can be
rest quickly follow and this can be
rest quickly follow and this can be applied to the human world to
applied to the human world to
applied to the human world to celebrities being the leaders they start
celebrities being the leaders they start
celebrities being the leaders they start trends start wearing different clothes
trends start wearing different clothes
trends start wearing different clothes and people follow chips don’t only fight
and people follow chips don’t only fight
and people follow chips don’t only fight for a spot at the top they work together
for a spot at the top they work together
for a spot at the top they work together too like many other animal species they
too like many other animal species they
too like many other animal species they work cooperatively to obtain the best
work cooperatively to obtain the best
work cooperatively to obtain the best available resources their cousins the
available resources their cousins the
available resources their cousins the Wolves travel and hunt in packs and
Wolves travel and hunt in packs and
Wolves travel and hunt in packs and within their packs they form strong
within their packs they form strong
within their packs they form strong social bonds they are very loyal animals
social bonds they are very loyal animals
social bonds they are very loyal animals it has been said – at times even
it has been said – at times even
it has been said – at times even sacrifice themselves for other members
sacrifice themselves for other members
sacrifice themselves for other members of their pack general knowledge is that
of their pack general knowledge is that
of their pack general knowledge is that we are in fact the most advanced and
we are in fact the most advanced and
we are in fact the most advanced and smartest beings so that is in fact true
smartest beings so that is in fact true
smartest beings so that is in fact true why can’t our why can’t the bedrock of
why can’t our why can’t the bedrock of
why can’t our why can’t the bedrock of our behavior be cooperation what if
our behavior be cooperation what if
our behavior be cooperation what if everybody had the same ranking what if
everybody had the same ranking what if
everybody had the same ranking what if everybody could feel confident with
everybody could feel confident with
everybody could feel confident with themselves I at times of felt without a
themselves I at times of felt without a
themselves I at times of felt without a place at school
place at school
place at school teens tend to be
teens tend to be
teens tend to be with so many insecurities I have
with so many insecurities I have
with so many insecurities I have insecurities because I am afraid I used
insecurities because I am afraid I used
insecurities because I am afraid I used to be afraid that my social ranking
to be afraid that my social ranking
to be afraid that my social ranking would get low or that it could get
would get low or that it could get
would get low or that it could get lowered I used to be afraid that I would
lowered I used to be afraid that I would
lowered I used to be afraid that I would be left without the love of those that
be left without the love of those that
be left without the love of those that were nearest to me because not because
were nearest to me because not because
were nearest to me because not because of not following their standards because
of not following their standards because
of not following their standards because not being normal
ask yourselves in social situations are
ask yourselves in social situations are you always yourself desiring acceptance
you always yourself desiring acceptance
you always yourself desiring acceptance people tend to assimilate the
people tend to assimilate the
people tend to assimilate the personalities and behaviors of those
personalities and behaviors of those
personalities and behaviors of those they want acceptance from and this can
they want acceptance from and this can
they want acceptance from and this can be really – peer pressure – it may not
be really – peer pressure – it may not
be really – peer pressure – it may not be in you to do the things that your
be in you to do the things that your
be in you to do the things that your friends do but you do them anyway
friends do but you do them anyway
friends do but you do them anyway because you want to feel like a part of
because you want to feel like a part of
because you want to feel like a part of the group and that’s wrong there should
the group and that’s wrong there should
the group and that’s wrong there should be no fear of being judged for being
be no fear of being judged for being
be no fear of being judged for being yourself people don’t need that pressure
yourself people don’t need that pressure
yourself people don’t need that pressure because the truth is everybody has
because the truth is everybody has
because the truth is everybody has problems and some of those problems are
problems and some of those problems are
problems and some of those problems are tough to solve on their own I can say in
tough to solve on their own I can say in
tough to solve on their own I can say in my experience that whenever I’ve been
my experience that whenever I’ve been
my experience that whenever I’ve been depressed or whenever I’ve been having
depressed or whenever I’ve been having
depressed or whenever I’ve been having trouble in my life I’ve had or shoulder
trouble in my life I’ve had or shoulder
trouble in my life I’ve had or shoulder to rest my head on and that’s felt great
to rest my head on and that’s felt great
to rest my head on and that’s felt great support feels great I mean you see
support feels great I mean you see
support feels great I mean you see someone walking in a hallway and you
someone walking in a hallway and you
someone walking in a hallway and you have no idea what is going on inside
have no idea what is going on inside
have no idea what is going on inside their head you have no idea what they’re
their head you have no idea what they’re
their head you have no idea what they’re going through and it could be nothing or
going through and it could be nothing or
going through and it could be nothing or it could be the worst but either way it
it could be the worst but either way it
it could be the worst but either way it doesn’t take away from your day to be
doesn’t take away from your day to be
doesn’t take away from your day to be nice to them and in turn he might be
nice to them and in turn he might be
nice to them and in turn he might be making their day he might even be saving
making their day he might even be saving
making their day he might even be saving their life Gautama Buddha how very
their life Gautama Buddha how very
their life Gautama Buddha how very iconic he said it once famously said
iconic he said it once famously said
iconic he said it once famously said thousands of candles can be lighted from
thousands of candles can be lighted from
thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle and the life of the
a single candle and the life of the
a single candle and the life of the candle will not be sordid happiness
candle will not be sordid happiness
candle will not be sordid happiness never decreases by being shared
never decreases by being shared
never decreases by being shared personally I have had the opportunity to
personally I have had the opportunity to
personally I have had the opportunity to connect with a group of people to feel
connect with a group of people to feel
connect with a group of people to feel connected with a group of people my
connected with a group of people my
connected with a group of people my soccer team as individuals we play for
soccer team as individuals we play for
soccer team as individuals we play for one team and in the team it is often
one team and in the team it is often
one team and in the team it is often repeated that we are one and that we are
repeated that we are one and that we are
repeated that we are one and that we are all there for each other because when
all there for each other because when
all there for each other because when one Falls there will always be ten
one Falls there will always be ten
one Falls there will always be ten others
others
others to help that person get back up and that
to help that person get back up and that
to help that person get back up and that feeling of having a community of people
feeling of having a community of people
feeling of having a community of people unconditionally there for you if you
unconditionally there for you if you
unconditionally there for you if you need them feels magnificent so even as I
need them feels magnificent so even as I
need them feels magnificent so even as I came to these realizations what provoked
came to these realizations what provoked
came to these realizations what provoked me to address you about them today when
me to address you about them today when
me to address you about them today when I was in sixth and seventh grade I
I was in sixth and seventh grade I
I was in sixth and seventh grade I hadn’t really thought about it that much
hadn’t really thought about it that much
hadn’t really thought about it that much I knew it was the case but I never
I knew it was the case but I never
I knew it was the case but I never really admitted it to myself and I
really admitted it to myself and I
really admitted it to myself and I probably would have denied it if anybody
probably would have denied it if anybody
probably would have denied it if anybody asked me but I think I’m some level of
asked me but I think I’m some level of
asked me but I think I’m some level of consciousness I knew that I was in fact
consciousness I knew that I was in fact
consciousness I knew that I was in fact a victim of peer pressure I wanted my
a victim of peer pressure I wanted my
a victim of peer pressure I wanted my friends to accept me so I did some
friends to accept me so I did some
friends to accept me so I did some things maybe I didn’t really even want
things maybe I didn’t really even want
things maybe I didn’t really even want to do I wanted to be my accepted by my
to do I wanted to be my accepted by my
to do I wanted to be my accepted by my brother
brother
brother so I assimilated some things about his
so I assimilated some things about his
so I assimilated some things about his way of life that were relieved in part
way of life that were relieved in part
way of life that were relieved in part of my own identity and if I could I
of my own identity and if I could I
of my own identity and if I could I would go back in time and I will talk to
would go back in time and I will talk to
would go back in time and I will talk to myself and I would tell my younger self
myself and I would tell my younger self
myself and I would tell my younger self that I am happiest being confident in
that I am happiest being confident in
that I am happiest being confident in Who I am and being less concerned it
Who I am and being less concerned it
Who I am and being less concerned it what other people think of me I’ve
what other people think of me I’ve
what other people think of me I’ve learned that happiness should be shared
learned that happiness should be shared
learned that happiness should be shared and we should all support each other
and we should all support each other
and we should all support each other it’s really not that complicated
it’s really not that complicated
it’s really not that complicated be social be welcoming be nice take a
be social be welcoming be nice take a
be social be welcoming be nice take a lesson from the animals to act
lesson from the animals to act
lesson from the animals to act cooperatively and let’s do it let’s make
cooperatively and let’s do it let’s make
cooperatively and let’s do it let’s make ourselves worthy of the buildings we
ourselves worthy of the buildings we
ourselves worthy of the buildings we have created and for once and for all
have created and for once and for all
have created and for once and for all get rid of contempt thank you
”
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