morning so how much does trauma affect a young child how important is attachment
young child how important is attachment
young child how important is attachment in a useless I will share my journey
in a useless I will share my journey
in a useless I will share my journey with you and the answer to both
with you and the answer to both
with you and the answer to both questions is immensely my name is Cory
questions is immensely my name is Cory
questions is immensely my name is Cory and I’m 28 years old
and I’m 28 years old
and I’m 28 years old I’m a recovering addict that’s been
I’m a recovering addict that’s been
I’m a recovering addict that’s been diagnosed with complex post-traumatic
diagnosed with complex post-traumatic
diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder along with a ton of
stress disorder along with a ton of
stress disorder along with a ton of other acronym diagnosis the start of my
other acronym diagnosis the start of my
other acronym diagnosis the start of my story has some pretty graphic details
story has some pretty graphic details
story has some pretty graphic details and the reason I did not leave it out is
and the reason I did not leave it out is
and the reason I did not leave it out is had a tremendous impact on my life
had a tremendous impact on my life
had a tremendous impact on my life journey I did not understand my
journey I did not understand my
journey I did not understand my post-traumatic stress disorder would
post-traumatic stress disorder would
post-traumatic stress disorder would lead in the severe crystal meth
lead in the severe crystal meth
lead in the severe crystal meth addiction but it sure did my story
addiction but it sure did my story
addiction but it sure did my story starts in London Ontario where I was
starts in London Ontario where I was
starts in London Ontario where I was born my mother was 16 years old my
born my mother was 16 years old my
born my mother was 16 years old my father was in his thirties they tried
father was in his thirties they tried
father was in his thirties they tried their hardest to raise me and my two
their hardest to raise me and my two
their hardest to raise me and my two younger siblings London Ontario it was
younger siblings London Ontario it was
younger siblings London Ontario it was Father’s Day 1990 beautiful sunny day my
Father’s Day 1990 beautiful sunny day my
Father’s Day 1990 beautiful sunny day my mother and father managed an apartment
mother and father managed an apartment
mother and father managed an apartment we lived in and they were responsible
we lived in and they were responsible
we lived in and they were responsible for the pool that was just outside of
for the pool that was just outside of
for the pool that was just outside of our patio that morning they made a
our patio that morning they made a
our patio that morning they made a decision to close the pool and I guess
decision to close the pool and I guess
decision to close the pool and I guess in hindsight this was a blessing or many
in hindsight this was a blessing or many
in hindsight this was a blessing or many more people would have witnessed what
more people would have witnessed what
more people would have witnessed what was about to happen
was about to happen
was about to happen my aunt Michelle was visiting I walked
my aunt Michelle was visiting I walked
my aunt Michelle was visiting I walked outside to hand her a doughnut just as I
outside to hand her a doughnut just as I
outside to hand her a doughnut just as I walked outside the building shook a man
walked outside the building shook a man
walked outside the building shook a man on the 16th storey jumped out his
on the 16th storey jumped out his
on the 16th storey jumped out his bedroom window totally naked
bedroom window totally naked
bedroom window totally naked he hit the fifth story railing and
he hit the fifth story railing and
he hit the fifth story railing and severed both his legs before there was
severed both his legs before there was
severed both his legs before there was time for anyone to react he hit the
time for anyone to react he hit the
time for anyone to react he hit the ground right beside me I can still smell
ground right beside me I can still smell
ground right beside me I can still smell the blood sometimes when I have this
the blood sometimes when I have this
the blood sometimes when I have this damn dream that has terrorized me since
damn dream that has terrorized me since
damn dream that has terrorized me since I was a little kid my Michelle being in
I was a little kid my Michelle being in
I was a little kid my Michelle being in shock jumped up left me outside with his
shock jumped up left me outside with his
shock jumped up left me outside with his man his body and printed on the ground
man his body and printed on the ground
man his body and printed on the ground me as a two-year-old covered in blood
me as a two-year-old covered in blood
me as a two-year-old covered in blood brain matter as you can imagine it was a
brain matter as you can imagine it was a
brain matter as you can imagine it was a pretty brutal scene when the police
pretty brutal scene when the police
pretty brutal scene when the police showed up they wouldn’t let my mom put
showed up they wouldn’t let my mom put
showed up they wouldn’t let my mom put me in the shower for quite some time
me in the shower for quite some time
me in the shower for quite some time because I was considered evidence
because I was considered evidence
because I was considered evidence thankfully what we know now this would
thankfully what we know now this would
thankfully what we know now this would never be allowed to happen
never be allowed to happen
never be allowed to happen trauma-informed practice is something I
trauma-informed practice is something I
trauma-informed practice is something I wish people knew about back then I would
wish people knew about back then I would
wish people knew about back then I would see very little counseling he will
see very little counseling he will
see very little counseling he will forget was the answer my mom goddess she
forget was the answer my mom goddess she
forget was the answer my mom goddess she took me from Doctor to doctor trying to
took me from Doctor to doctor trying to
took me from Doctor to doctor trying to figure out my night terrors we moved to
figure out my night terrors we moved to
figure out my night terrors we moved to BC the following year without my father
BC the following year without my father
BC the following year without my father everything was going good
everything was going good
everything was going good other than being so full energy
other than being so full energy
other than being so full energy stop moving which doesn’t really make a
stop moving which doesn’t really make a
stop moving which doesn’t really make a lot of sense as I could never get a full
lot of sense as I could never get a full
lot of sense as I could never get a full night’s sleep I was a healthy happy very
night’s sleep I was a healthy happy very
night’s sleep I was a healthy happy very smart young man as many people told
smart young man as many people told
smart young man as many people told myself and I’m going through elementary
myself and I’m going through elementary
myself and I’m going through elementary school I was in accelerated classes
school I was in accelerated classes
school I was in accelerated classes never had to open a book stirred the
never had to open a book stirred the
never had to open a book stirred the part with minor scuffles with classmates
part with minor scuffles with classmates
part with minor scuffles with classmates however being diagnosed with attention
however being diagnosed with attention
however being diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactive disorder in grade 3
deficit hyperactive disorder in grade 3
deficit hyperactive disorder in grade 3 still I was in French immersion and a
still I was in French immersion and a
still I was in French immersion and a straight-a student
straight-a student
straight-a student one thing that held me back was I
one thing that held me back was I
one thing that held me back was I dreaded going to sleep
dreaded going to sleep
dreaded going to sleep it was awful waking up in fear
it was awful waking up in fear
it was awful waking up in fear experiencing sleepwalking thinking where
experiencing sleepwalking thinking where
experiencing sleepwalking thinking where am i waking up in the corner of the
am i waking up in the corner of the
am i waking up in the corner of the living room or in a bathtub
living room or in a bathtub
living room or in a bathtub I would always dream about a lot of
I would always dream about a lot of
I would always dream about a lot of blood moaning sounds and wake up crying
blood moaning sounds and wake up crying
blood moaning sounds and wake up crying I was never given any skills to deal
I was never given any skills to deal
I was never given any skills to deal with my high energy and lack of
with my high energy and lack of
with my high energy and lack of concentration I was however put on a
concentration I was however put on a
concentration I was however put on a drug cartel the medications that I hated
drug cartel the medications that I hated
drug cartel the medications that I hated and I thought my mom tooth and nail
and I thought my mom tooth and nail
and I thought my mom tooth and nail every day as she tried to shove a pill
every day as she tried to shove a pill
every day as she tried to shove a pill down my throat I started suffering
down my throat I started suffering
down my throat I started suffering something called sleep paralysis once it
something called sleep paralysis once it
something called sleep paralysis once it was happening every night my mom sat me
was happening every night my mom sat me
was happening every night my mom sat me down and showed me this police reports
down and showed me this police reports
down and showed me this police reports in the newspaper articles something
in the newspaper articles something
in the newspaper articles something clicked that night it set off something
clicked that night it set off something
clicked that night it set off something no one could have expected I remembered
no one could have expected I remembered
no one could have expected I remembered everything I’ve had that dream almost
everything I’ve had that dream almost
everything I’ve had that dream almost every single night – my time using
every single night – my time using
every single night – my time using crystal meth where I did everything in
crystal meth where I did everything in
crystal meth where I did everything in my power not to sleep sometimes I dream
my power not to sleep sometimes I dream
my power not to sleep sometimes I dream the whole day sometimes just a loud thud
the whole day sometimes just a loud thud
the whole day sometimes just a loud thud smell blood and I wake up crying I think
smell blood and I wake up crying I think
smell blood and I wake up crying I think this was the start of my downfall I
this was the start of my downfall I
this was the start of my downfall I leave out a lot of other traumas I
leave out a lot of other traumas I
leave out a lot of other traumas I endured because most of them are still
endured because most of them are still
endured because most of them are still too painful for me to speak about and
too painful for me to speak about and
too painful for me to speak about and most happened after you started using
most happened after you started using
most happened after you started using crystal meth I started to smoke pot in
crystal meth I started to smoke pot in
crystal meth I started to smoke pot in grade 6 that summer I was in a lot of
grade 6 that summer I was in a lot of
grade 6 that summer I was in a lot of fights with students I didn’t like
fights with students I didn’t like
fights with students I didn’t like really started become more angry with
really started become more angry with
really started become more angry with what was going on
what was going on
what was going on started grade 7 I tried cocaine crystal
started grade 7 I tried cocaine crystal
started grade 7 I tried cocaine crystal meth fell into my lap shortly after that
meth fell into my lap shortly after that
meth fell into my lap shortly after that I remember my first hit I was high for
I remember my first hit I was high for
I remember my first hit I was high for two days and I didn’t have to sleep and
two days and I didn’t have to sleep and
two days and I didn’t have to sleep and then when I did sleep I didn’t dream I
then when I did sleep I didn’t dream I
then when I did sleep I didn’t dream I loved it I remember waking up after the
loved it I remember waking up after the
loved it I remember waking up after the first time using and not knowing where I
first time using and not knowing where I
first time using and not knowing where I was somewhere in the small town of Alta
was somewhere in the small town of Alta
was somewhere in the small town of Alta Grove Alaska living in my mom’s house
Grove Alaska living in my mom’s house
Grove Alaska living in my mom’s house for a few months after starting to use
for a few months after starting to use
for a few months after starting to use crystal meth then she kicked me out I
crystal meth then she kicked me out I
crystal meth then she kicked me out I don’t really blame her my little brother
don’t really blame her my little brother
don’t really blame her my little brother and sister were suffering immensely
and sister were suffering immensely
and sister were suffering immensely because of me I was ripping off
because of me I was ripping off
because of me I was ripping off everything I could
everything I could
everything I could there’s nowhere to go I was 13 years old
there’s nowhere to go I was 13 years old
there’s nowhere to go I was 13 years old I headed to Surrey not sure what it
I headed to Surrey not sure what it
I headed to Surrey not sure what it would be there but I found a gang of
would be there but I found a gang of
would be there but I found a gang of guys who helped me get some food and
guys who helped me get some food and
guys who helped me get some food and offered me a place to stay I did not
offered me a place to stay I did not
offered me a place to stay I did not know they were a real gang this part of
know they were a real gang this part of
know they were a real gang this part of my story I leave out as I did many awful
my story I leave out as I did many awful
my story I leave out as I did many awful things that I heard a lot of people I’m
things that I heard a lot of people I’m
things that I heard a lot of people I’m staying in a shack and that Shack got
staying in a shack and that Shack got
staying in a shack and that Shack got raided shortly after I remember I talked
raided shortly after I remember I talked
raided shortly after I remember I talked to some police officers said I was
to some police officers said I was
to some police officers said I was homeless and I ended up in the care of
homeless and I ended up in the care of
homeless and I ended up in the care of the Ministry of Children and Family
the Ministry of Children and Family
the Ministry of Children and Family Development we were such a reactive
Development we were such a reactive
Development we were such a reactive system in regards to child and youth
system in regards to child and youth
system in regards to child and youth mental health we do not intervene until
mental health we do not intervene until
mental health we do not intervene until something bad happens why time money we
something bad happens why time money we
something bad happens why time money we spend way more in repairing and I use
spend way more in repairing and I use
spend way more in repairing and I use that word lightly damaged than
that word lightly damaged than
that word lightly damaged than preventing it from happen the ministry
preventing it from happen the ministry
preventing it from happen the ministry tried hard to help me every foster house
tried hard to help me every foster house
tried hard to help me every foster house I went into I either used to open their
I went into I either used to open their
I went into I either used to open their house rip him off again to a fight soon
house rip him off again to a fight soon
house rip him off again to a fight soon my only options were high-risk foster
my only options were high-risk foster
my only options were high-risk foster houses group homes safe houses were the
houses group homes safe houses were the
houses group homes safe houses were the streets which I spent a ton of time on I
streets which I spent a ton of time on I
streets which I spent a ton of time on I access service in this province all over
access service in this province all over
access service in this province all over the place Langley Surrey New West
the place Langley Surrey New West
the place Langley Surrey New West Vancouver Burnaby just to name a few I
Vancouver Burnaby just to name a few I
Vancouver Burnaby just to name a few I went to detox a ton usually when I just
went to detox a ton usually when I just
went to detox a ton usually when I just need a break
need a break
need a break lots of alcohol and drug counselors
lots of alcohol and drug counselors
lots of alcohol and drug counselors shrinks anger management groups
shrinks anger management groups
shrinks anger management groups adolescent psychiatry units hospital
adolescent psychiatry units hospital
adolescent psychiatry units hospital visits and even more trips to the ER via
visits and even more trips to the ER via
visits and even more trips to the ER via ambulance due to overdose police
ambulance due to overdose police
ambulance due to overdose police interactions therapists pill
interactions therapists pill
interactions therapists pill combinations so many different types so
combinations so many different types so
combinations so many different types so many different combinations trauma
many different combinations trauma
many different combinations trauma therapy was shoved down my throat rehab
therapy was shoved down my throat rehab
therapy was shoved down my throat rehab centers lots of them long term recovery
centers lots of them long term recovery
centers lots of them long term recovery houses that I never lasted more than a
houses that I never lasted more than a
houses that I never lasted more than a few days in jeez my social worker even
few days in jeez my social worker even
few days in jeez my social worker even tried to send me up north to terrace in
tried to send me up north to terrace in
tried to send me up north to terrace in Prince George recovery houses I tried
Prince George recovery houses I tried
Prince George recovery houses I tried 12-step programs I tried it all it
12-step programs I tried it all it
12-step programs I tried it all it wasn’t until I was done that help
wasn’t until I was done that help
wasn’t until I was done that help actually did something service providers
actually did something service providers
actually did something service providers always looked at the actions drug use
always looked at the actions drug use
always looked at the actions drug use violence committing crimes here’s a lost
violence committing crimes here’s a lost
violence committing crimes here’s a lost cause is what I started to hear from
cause is what I started to hear from
cause is what I started to hear from service providers it’s one thing that
service providers it’s one thing that
service providers it’s one thing that was never introduced me back then was
was never introduced me back then was
was never introduced me back then was mindfulness I sure wish it had been it
mindfulness I sure wish it had been it
mindfulness I sure wish it had been it might have saved me a lot of grief
might have saved me a lot of grief
might have saved me a lot of grief I always joke I’m the million dollar kid
I always joke I’m the million dollar kid
I always joke I’m the million dollar kid if you add up all the services I
if you add up all the services I
if you add up all the services I received in this province it’s probably
received in this province it’s probably
received in this province it’s probably how much they spent on me to keep me
how much they spent on me to keep me
how much they spent on me to keep me alive so I can be on this amazing stage
alive so I can be on this amazing stage
alive so I can be on this amazing stage I’d never even heard about
I’d never even heard about
I’d never even heard about important attachment was no worker tried
important attachment was no worker tried
important attachment was no worker tried to build one with me I was always a
to build one with me I was always a
to build one with me I was always a youth getting serviced then it was on to
youth getting serviced then it was on to
youth getting serviced then it was on to the next kid never felt like a real
the next kid never felt like a real
the next kid never felt like a real person I always felt like a number in
person I always felt like a number in
person I always felt like a number in the system I had very few times from 12
the system I had very few times from 12
the system I had very few times from 12 until 18 I was clean longer than a week
until 18 I was clean longer than a week
until 18 I was clean longer than a week maybe a couple of weeks a couple of
maybe a couple of weeks a couple of
maybe a couple of weeks a couple of times I remember one of the worst things
times I remember one of the worst things
times I remember one of the worst things was having to repeat my story to these
was having to repeat my story to these
was having to repeat my story to these professionals that I felt like just
professionals that I felt like just
professionals that I felt like just didn’t care also I remember there was
didn’t care also I remember there was
didn’t care also I remember there was more than once I thought I was done I
more than once I thought I was done I
more than once I thought I was done I would reach out for help and imagine
would reach out for help and imagine
would reach out for help and imagine this a waitlist along with that
this a waitlist along with that
this a waitlist along with that something else that really stands out to
something else that really stands out to
something else that really stands out to me from being about 15 as I saw this one
me from being about 15 as I saw this one
me from being about 15 as I saw this one alcohol and drug counselor his damn
alcohol and drug counselor his damn
alcohol and drug counselor his damn chair was so much higher than mine I
chair was so much higher than mine I
chair was so much higher than mine I felt like he was looking down at me even
felt like he was looking down at me even
felt like he was looking down at me even though looking back he probably was at
though looking back he probably was at
though looking back he probably was at this time it would have had face scabs
this time it would have had face scabs
this time it would have had face scabs possibly even a visible track mark but
possibly even a visible track mark but
possibly even a visible track mark but it made me feel like crap I laughed and
it made me feel like crap I laughed and
it made me feel like crap I laughed and I never went back guess what never
I never went back guess what never
I never went back guess what never happened the right hand and the left
happened the right hand and the left
happened the right hand and the left hand never talked about what was going
hand never talked about what was going
hand never talked about what was going on with me they worked in total silos
on with me they worked in total silos
on with me they worked in total silos this is why I’m currently involved in a
this is why I’m currently involved in a
this is why I’m currently involved in a project called the Child and Youth
project called the Child and Youth
project called the Child and Youth mental health and substance use
mental health and substance use
mental health and substance use collaborative happened happening here in
collaborative happened happening here in
collaborative happened happening here in the province of British Columbia
every time I managed to get sober my
every time I managed to get sober my dreams got worse my anger got worse
dreams got worse my anger got worse
dreams got worse my anger got worse my anxiety got WAY worse I concluded I
my anxiety got WAY worse I concluded I
my anxiety got WAY worse I concluded I was better hi workers from all sorts of
was better hi workers from all sorts of
was better hi workers from all sorts of fields wanted to treat my addiction as
fields wanted to treat my addiction as
fields wanted to treat my addiction as the problem when I was 16 my goal is to
the problem when I was 16 my goal is to
the problem when I was 16 my goal is to stay alive till my 19th birthday I
stay alive till my 19th birthday I
stay alive till my 19th birthday I honestly had to try and make this goal I
honestly had to try and make this goal I
honestly had to try and make this goal I really didn’t think I would make it I
really didn’t think I would make it I
really didn’t think I would make it I contemplated suicide on more than one
contemplated suicide on more than one
contemplated suicide on more than one occasion I’m sure that people just
occasion I’m sure that people just
occasion I’m sure that people just looked at me as a GAC editor a speed
looked at me as a GAC editor a speed
looked at me as a GAC editor a speed freak for a really a long time it
freak for a really a long time it
freak for a really a long time it wouldn’t even cross people’s minds it
wouldn’t even cross people’s minds it
wouldn’t even cross people’s minds it was the only way I knew how to survive
was the only way I knew how to survive
was the only way I knew how to survive these damn dreams I still experience
these damn dreams I still experience
these damn dreams I still experience would have driven me mad
would have driven me mad
would have driven me mad drugs saved my life and nearly took it
drugs saved my life and nearly took it
drugs saved my life and nearly took it all at the same time and I understand
all at the same time and I understand
all at the same time and I understand that’s a tough concept to get that’s
that’s a tough concept to get that’s
that’s a tough concept to get that’s definitely enough about the bad stuff so
definitely enough about the bad stuff so
definitely enough about the bad stuff so what worked how did I clean up well I
what worked how did I clean up well I
what worked how did I clean up well I got someone pregnant when I was 17 years
got someone pregnant when I was 17 years
got someone pregnant when I was 17 years old just a baby having a baby I kept
old just a baby having a baby I kept
old just a baby having a baby I kept using until just before my beautiful
using until just before my beautiful
using until just before my beautiful daughter was born she was born May 12
daughter was born she was born May 12
daughter was born she was born May 12 2006 my clean date is May 10 2006 two
2006 my clean date is May 10 2006 two
2006 my clean date is May 10 2006 two days before my daughter was born she
days before my daughter was born she
days before my daughter was born she gave me a reason to try and live
gave me a reason to try and live
gave me a reason to try and live but last time using I remember had been
but last time using I remember had been
but last time using I remember had been high for about six days I often lost
high for about six days I often lost
high for about six days I often lost track of days and I managed to call this
track of days and I managed to call this
track of days and I managed to call this guy Carrie he ran an anger management
guy Carrie he ran an anger management
guy Carrie he ran an anger management program I had to do when I was 13 to
program I had to do when I was 13 to
program I had to do when I was 13 to avoid being kicked out of the ministry
avoid being kicked out of the ministry
avoid being kicked out of the ministry Karen too avoided jail sentence I don’t
Karen too avoided jail sentence I don’t
Karen too avoided jail sentence I don’t know why I stood out to me back then and
know why I stood out to me back then and
know why I stood out to me back then and I’m sure happy he did I called him and
I’m sure happy he did I called him and
I’m sure happy he did I called him and he said there are youth out there that
he said there are youth out there that
he said there are youth out there that want help and if you don’t nothing I say
want help and if you don’t nothing I say
want help and if you don’t nothing I say or do will try will change that I think
or do will try will change that I think
or do will try will change that I think I was in New West he came and picked me
I was in New West he came and picked me
I was in New West he came and picked me up we started to call detox centers
up we started to call detox centers
up we started to call detox centers I felt safe with this man I felt we
I felt safe with this man I felt we
I felt safe with this man I felt we quickly built an attachment something I
quickly built an attachment something I
quickly built an attachment something I now know is the most important thing in
now know is the most important thing in
now know is the most important thing in the u s– life I got into detox and I
the u s– life I got into detox and I
the u s– life I got into detox and I remember I was gonna leave to get high
remember I was gonna leave to get high
remember I was gonna leave to get high but I called him first do you want to
but I called him first do you want to
but I called him first do you want to die
die
die he asked me bluntly at this time I
he asked me bluntly at this time I
he asked me bluntly at this time I weighed under a hundred pounds already
weighed under a hundred pounds already
weighed under a hundred pounds already on death’s door I said some explicit
on death’s door I said some explicit
on death’s door I said some explicit words and I hung up the phone I went to
words and I hung up the phone I went to
words and I hung up the phone I went to leave and I stopped and thought do I
leave and I stopped and thought do I
leave and I stopped and thought do I want to die I didn’t so I stayed this
want to die I didn’t so I stayed this
want to die I didn’t so I stayed this man has never sugar-coated anything with
man has never sugar-coated anything with
man has never sugar-coated anything with me since that day we’ve built an
me since that day we’ve built an
me since that day we’ve built an extremely healthy bond and attachment he
extremely healthy bond and attachment he
extremely healthy bond and attachment he provided me a safe place to stay and
provided me a safe place to stay and
provided me a safe place to stay and guess what he then pressed me on my
guess what he then pressed me on my
guess what he then pressed me on my traumas he didn’t press me on anything
traumas he didn’t press me on anything
traumas he didn’t press me on anything would usually just shoot the sushi
would usually just shoot the sushi
would usually just shoot the sushi and good conversation it’s amazing how
and good conversation it’s amazing how
and good conversation it’s amazing how something so simple helped turn my life
something so simple helped turn my life
something so simple helped turn my life around they’re doing this my therapy
around they’re doing this my therapy
around they’re doing this my therapy started not what they call clinical
started not what they call clinical
started not what they call clinical therapy real life they’re cool with
therapy real life they’re cool with
therapy real life they’re cool with Carrie I started to look into
Carrie I started to look into
Carrie I started to look into mindfulness learned about yoga and
mindfulness learned about yoga and
mindfulness learned about yoga and meditation try things like float tanks
meditation try things like float tanks
meditation try things like float tanks when I started to practice mindfulness
when I started to practice mindfulness
when I started to practice mindfulness in my life my life changed very very
in my life my life changed very very
in my life my life changed very very quickly I can now sit still longer than
quickly I can now sit still longer than
quickly I can now sit still longer than five minutes not that any of you can
five minutes not that any of you can
five minutes not that any of you can tell
tell
tell I do however always drive for progress
I do however always drive for progress
I do however always drive for progress not perfection ha yoga meditation I
not perfection ha yoga meditation I
not perfection ha yoga meditation I always chuckle about that if that was
always chuckle about that if that was
always chuckle about that if that was introduced to me at 12 to 18 I probably
introduced to me at 12 to 18 I probably
introduced to me at 12 to 18 I probably would have laughed in their face but can
would have laughed in their face but can
would have laughed in their face but can you imagine that when I got into
you imagine that when I got into
you imagine that when I got into kindergarten it was explained to the
kindergarten it was explained to the
kindergarten it was explained to the staff that I had witnessed such a brutal
staff that I had witnessed such a brutal
staff that I had witnessed such a brutal act of violence at such a young age and
act of violence at such a young age and
act of violence at such a young age and I might struggle and it was introduced
I might struggle and it was introduced
I might struggle and it was introduced to me at 5 years old
to me at 5 years old
to me at 5 years old I didn’t start to practice mindfulness
I didn’t start to practice mindfulness
I didn’t start to practice mindfulness until my early twenties kind of saved me
until my early twenties kind of saved me
until my early twenties kind of saved me a lot of trouble and the system if I do
a lot of trouble and the system if I do
a lot of trouble and the system if I do you I do yoga every day and if I don’t
you I do yoga every day and if I don’t
you I do yoga every day and if I don’t my girlfriend she’ll be a very quickly
my girlfriend she’ll be a very quickly
my girlfriend she’ll be a very quickly reminds me to be centered and to do it
reminds me to be centered and to do it
reminds me to be centered and to do it now if I don’t meditate she says the
now if I don’t meditate she says the
now if I don’t meditate she says the same thing it is amazing to me that my
same thing it is amazing to me that my
same thing it is amazing to me that my family feels the impact of my
family feels the impact of my
family feels the impact of my mindfulness so the last 10 years I’ve
mindfulness so the last 10 years I’ve
mindfulness so the last 10 years I’ve stayed in touch with care and is now
stayed in touch with care and is now
stayed in touch with care and is now four he runs a program that’s now for
four he runs a program that’s now for
four he runs a program that’s now for kids that don’t fit in the box I always
kids that don’t fit in the box I always
kids that don’t fit in the box I always say what box
say what box
say what box there isn’t a box with mental health and
there isn’t a box with mental health and
there isn’t a box with mental health and addiction I recently had a breakthrough
addiction I recently had a breakthrough
addiction I recently had a breakthrough and I stated Who am I without my trauma
and I stated Who am I without my trauma
and I stated Who am I without my trauma without my addiction because that’s all
without my addiction because that’s all
without my addiction because that’s all I felt I was he just smiled and said who
I felt I was he just smiled and said who
I felt I was he just smiled and said who knows but you wouldn’t be doing what
knows but you wouldn’t be doing what
knows but you wouldn’t be doing what you’re doing now he was referring to me
you’re doing now he was referring to me
you’re doing now he was referring to me helping with the child in youth mental
helping with the child in youth mental
helping with the child in youth mental health and substance use collaborative
health and substance use collaborative
health and substance use collaborative happening here in BC sitting on a local
happening here in BC sitting on a local
happening here in BC sitting on a local Action Team speaking in front of all of
Action Team speaking in front of all of
Action Team speaking in front of all of you about attachment yoga meditation
you about attachment yoga meditation
you about attachment yoga meditation being absolute lifesavers we used about
being absolute lifesavers we used about
being absolute lifesavers we used about keeping it simple creating safe places
keeping it simple creating safe places
keeping it simple creating safe places for youth to come where they aren’t
for youth to come where they aren’t
for youth to come where they aren’t pressured again about yoga and
pressured again about yoga and
pressured again about yoga and meditation about being something so
meditation about being something so
meditation about being something so amazing that helped change my life about
amazing that helped change my life about
amazing that helped change my life about something as simple as learning how to
something as simple as learning how to
something as simple as learning how to take a real bath I was never taught that
take a real bath I was never taught that
take a real bath I was never taught that waitlist should not be tolerated
waitlist should not be tolerated
waitlist should not be tolerated if a youth reaches out for help they
if a youth reaches out for help they
if a youth reaches out for help they need to be able to access
need to be able to access
need to be able to access that medication should not be a first
that medication should not be a first
that medication should not be a first reaction these are things that yeah for
reaction these are things that yeah for
reaction these are things that yeah for me maybe wouldn’t have been super
me maybe wouldn’t have been super
me maybe wouldn’t have been super effective but for what I am seeing in
effective but for what I am seeing in
effective but for what I am seeing in other youth this is really working we
other youth this is really working we
other youth this is really working we have to reduce stigma we are people to
have to reduce stigma we are people to
have to reduce stigma we are people to some days I look back in my life and try
some days I look back in my life and try
some days I look back in my life and try and figure out why me
and figure out why me
and figure out why me some days I still search for answers to
some days I still search for answers to
some days I still search for answers to why but as of today I do think my
why but as of today I do think my
why but as of today I do think my journey has led to me to speak to all of
journey has led to me to speak to all of
journey has led to me to speak to all of you about no kid is too bad to recover
you about no kid is too bad to recover
you about no kid is too bad to recover don’t let go of that kid that you think
don’t let go of that kid that you think
don’t let go of that kid that you think isn’t gonna make it I’m so grateful we
isn’t gonna make it I’m so grateful we
isn’t gonna make it I’m so grateful we as a province are recognizing the
as a province are recognizing the
as a province are recognizing the current system of Child and Youth mental
current system of Child and Youth mental
current system of Child and Youth mental health has a long way to go so there’s
health has a long way to go so there’s
health has a long way to go so there’s some pretty amazing news I sit and as a
some pretty amazing news I sit and as a
some pretty amazing news I sit and as a co-chair on the Langley local action
co-chair on the Langley local action
co-chair on the Langley local action team and they asked me to be a youth
team and they asked me to be a youth
team and they asked me to be a youth advocate in the new Langley youth hub
advocate in the new Langley youth hub
advocate in the new Langley youth hub that we opened here in May I graciously
that we opened here in May I graciously
that we opened here in May I graciously accepted I get to teach youth the skills
accepted I get to teach youth the skills
accepted I get to teach youth the skills I learned in regards to mindfulness we
I learned in regards to mindfulness we
I learned in regards to mindfulness we do yoga once a week we practice
do yoga once a week we practice
do yoga once a week we practice meditation breathing exercises so simple
meditation breathing exercises so simple
meditation breathing exercises so simple out of everything I think I’m the most
out of everything I think I’m the most
out of everything I think I’m the most proud of this I get to teach youth the
proud of this I get to teach youth the
proud of this I get to teach youth the skills that I was never taught and for
skills that I was never taught and for
skills that I was never taught and for what I am seeing it is changing their
what I am seeing it is changing their
what I am seeing it is changing their lives every day that’s about a tenth of
lives every day that’s about a tenth of
lives every day that’s about a tenth of my story I experienced a lot of pain in
my story I experienced a lot of pain in
my story I experienced a lot of pain in my addiction of my mental health journey
my addiction of my mental health journey
my addiction of my mental health journey but I caused even more today I am so
but I caused even more today I am so
but I caused even more today I am so grateful I did not die before my 19th
grateful I did not die before my 19th
grateful I did not die before my 19th birthday so grateful every youth
birthday so grateful every youth
birthday so grateful every youth deserves dignity well being treated for
deserves dignity well being treated for
deserves dignity well being treated for addiction and mental health problems
addiction and mental health problems
addiction and mental health problems thank you very much
”
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