It is said that for every door locked in our lives,
Another door opens.
While many found comfort in this wisdom
I found that door that opens and closes in our lives
Not important
Who we are when we open them.
There are two doors open in my life
Literally, this illustrates the point.
The first was the night I lost my daughter.
She was only 10 months old.
I did not lose my daughter as a result of very bad luck.
I even lost my daughter because I was not a good parent.
Addiction to alcohol and other drugs, as well as my aggressive behavior,
Her mother forced her away from me.
I remember well, the night my daughter lost.
Her grandmother was coming to town to take them away.
And I, really, insisted on staying there to deal with it.
Well, I went with my friends.
In order to bury me, I am ashamed and ashamed of the wines.
I returned home very late that night.
I swung on the door, drunk.
My shirt was torn by a quarrel I had made.
In my hand, the remains of 6 cans of bent wines.
I was ready to open the door to a house that was empty just like my heart.
But when I opened the door
I found my daughter in the arms of her grandmother.
And when they looked at me
There was no place to hide naked.
Now I see why they need to leave.
Here exactly.
Now, my whole life, as much as I remember
I always wanted to be a good person.
In fact, I did not meet anyone in my life inside his heart
He did not want to be a good person too
So, how did this happen?
If we had the free will, if we wanted to become good people,
How to do many things regret it?
How do we disappoint the people we love too?
Well, it turned out to be free will
Not a gift,
Free will talent, talent we need to develop.
This was one of the most important lessons I have ever learned.
Unfortunately, he studied little what he taught.
Little is taught because we believe we have free will.
We simply can make decisions and become the person we want.
But, is that true?
What amount of free will do we already have?
Have we tried before changing an old habit?
We have all been inspired in our lives and wanted to make real changes
We were determined to do it, right?
Our Lord read an inspiring book, we go to a workshop
Maybe a TED conversation.
(Laughter)
They all have meaning,
We are ready to implement these changes in our lives
Well, how did this happen?
If you like our majority
Soon, you will find yourself returning to your normal routine
Like a glass ball returning to its old course
Everyone here, all of us
We can all make a list of five things you can do to improve your life.
its not hard.
So they will not take too long.
The question is, can you do what is on the list?
If you can not, why can not you?
What prevents us from doing these things?
What do we know fully can improve our lives?
We may have good intentions, just to find ourselves looking weak
Because of our habits.
Unfortunately, this often leads us to a misjudgment
We can not change.
In fact, there are those who say that free will is an illusion.
And on the other side of the spectrum
There are those who say, free will is the cause of our suffering.
We are free to make the wrong decisions.
My firm conviction is that we suffer more because of a lack of free will.
And our inability to make the right decisions.
So let me explain what I mean when I say free will.
A free will clearly means that I can make decisions
Which helps me to become the person I want, the values I want to include for my personality,
The life I want to live.
Free will means that I can make these decisions,
I can work with them.
So to discover this for a minute.
If we make clear and healthy decisions in our lives,
In order to have free will, we must be in this region, right?
I mean, how will you make healthy decisions if you are not there?
So, how many times have you been present in your life?
Does any of these statements seem familiar?
“Oh, my car keys … Did you see them?”
“This piece of paper, I learn, it was with me a minute ago”
One of my favorites:
“Oh, what were we talking about?”
(Laughter)
Have you ever walked through a door into a room
Did not you know what to take?
Yes, I think we can link events to this, right?
It turned out we thought we were, “Hey, I forgot where my car keys are.”
But have we really forgotten?
Or were you really there when you put them?
When we put the keys of our car, our mind was elsewhere.
When you are in a conversation with someone else.
My mind was wondering;
I did not exist, in conversation.
There are many researches, now,
The focus is full of mind and carelessness.
It turns out that here in the United States, on average,
People are not aware of what they are doing
Almost half the time.
Almost half the time.
Well, 47%.
I do not want to exaggerate, okay?
47% of the time, unaware of the things we do, when we are awake.
So, if we are not aware of what we do 47% of the time we are awake,
How will we make good decisions at this time?
Most of the time, the decisions we make
Come unconsciously and unusually.
We are not present to make most decisions,
When we are present,
We do not think about them very well all the time.
So, we can change this.
We can be more present in our lives.
We can develop more free will.
Since I do not have the time to give a full lecture on negligence here,
I would like to introduce 3 things to you
Which can enable you to develop free will skills in your life.
Number One: Attention.
This is the key to open the door.
We can train our mind to be more attentive to what we do.
We do not have to be prisoners
For every little problem, idea or fear in our mind.
Human beings have been doing this for thousands of years, by meditating.
Through daily and constant meditation,
Something that can actually help you focus,
Something like to give attention to the same.
If you do this consistently, with an exercise of meditation,
You can actually train your mind to be present in the situations you choose,
Rather than taking you away from anxiety, fear and fear.
This is the key that will open the door,
Train your mind to participate in your life.
Make your values clear.
The biggest obstacle preventing us from becoming the person we want,
And to live the life we want,
Is not our circumstances,
Is that we even did not ask ourselves a question.
We do not even know how this looks.
When was the last time you asked yourself what are your most important values,
What is a productive and meaningful life for you?
Usually, we wake up in the morning and before that
Our minds work,
We relate in our day,
We will then be in automated mode.
Imagine how you would become if every day,
Before you relate to things in your day,
Take a little time to reflect on the fact that you are about to get started.
In a day that will never be repeated again in your life.
This day will never be repeated.
And then, ask yourself ..
How would you like to participate in a day that will never happen again in your life?
What are your principles?
What principles do you want to work with?
The life you are about to embark on today?
How will your life be different if you take a little time each day ..
To ask yourself how would you like to participate in this day?
# 3: Training.
Free will skill and like any other skill,
It requires training, and if we do not use it, we will lose it.
As a quote from Henry David Thoreau:
“The footprints of one foot do not occur in the ground.”
Similarly, the idea of one will not occur a path in your mind.
In order to have a physical effect, it must move again and again.
In order to establish a mental path,
We must think again and again of the ideas we want to dominate our lives.
To put it another way, using neuroscience,
The activation of two phones at the same time increases the strength of the link between them.
We make ways for cells in our brain through the things we do constantly
And the ideas we always receive.
We make these methods for cells.
This often happens unconsciously.
We can do it consciously.
In fact we can renew ourselves.
We can create new ways of cells in our brains
Which supports the person we want to become, the habits that will be productive,
Which will be biased with our principles.
But requires training, conscious training,
If we do not consciously do it, what will happen?
Will happen unconsciously.
You can include habits
They create new habits that support values
Which you want to include in your life,
If they are included in your mind.
Now, I’ve mentioned two doors in my life.
In the other door.
Fortunately, I’ve got a moment of serenity in my life,
The moment of serenity born of pain and emotional suffering
This is how we get the moment of serenity, right?
I know that if I want to live, I have to live differently,
So, on August 21, 1984,
I did not drink any alcohol,
I did not take any drugs,
And started to recover.
This was 32 years ago.
(clap)
thank you.
(clap)
In the rehabilitation rooms, teach me these valuable lessons.
They taught me another lesson I would like to share
Because I think it may have been influenced by the majority of us.
My life was one where I always ask the question,
“What can I do to feel good,
What can I do to be okay? “
Well, they said
Here’s another question you should start by asking:
“How can I help?”
“How can I be useful?”
Well, because of my asking these questions, my life began to change,
Eventually I will discover my own values as a human being.
it turns out
We discover our importance and values by doing valuable and important things,
Not just things that make you feel fine.
Your true happiness does not come from doing things that make you feel okay;
It even comes from doing things you have a good feeling around.
He does things that he feels good about.
So, these people have taught me that I can be fine,
They taught me to help people more.
I began to discover some values, and the more I do, the better my condition,
My thoughts went to my daughter again,
And I miss her,
I will regret this.
Well, I will cry constantly on many occasions.
(Laughter)
When one day I was in love with an old man,
He looked at me and said,
“You know, no one knows if your daughter will come back to your life again.
This is not the way things go.
But if you go back to your life, you will be a worthy person. “
This shocked me deeply.
So I thought about how a good father would be,
I did what I could every day to ask these questions about being useful,
Believe me, many mistakes have been made in the way.
I felt that I was a primitive man learning how to become a human being.
At this point, someone like me,
Someone like me, I’m not sure, a human being is ashamed,
A person who lived in a camp for homeless people, under a bridge,
He was able to repair himself and transform his life,
Develop some free will.
In the midst of that, I ended up working as a consultant.
I was a manager of a company, where I can play golf.
(Laughter)
Not good, but I could play golf.
I had the great opportunity to become a school teacher,
Here at Long Beach at Jordan Hay School.
(Applause) (Cheers)
I even became a Buddhist monk.
I did not expect that.
(Applause.) (Laughter)
Finally I thought it is not guaranteed,
Communication came one day.
The contact that will show me on my daughter.
It was 550 miles away and I got on the car
I was in the car, I was in the road,
I was going there.
I had a voice recorder to talk to
Because I had fear, anxiety, worries,
I was only talking along the road, 550 miles.
Praise be to Allaah. He was the voice recorder.
Pulled in the road. I will never forget this day.
I was trembling, I was scared.
I did not know, would you want to hug me or not?
Well, I opened the door and in the room,
My daughter, now eight and a half years old,
In her best dress, ready to meet her father,
Finally father is worth the trouble.
She just hugged me, and she did not want to leave me alone.
It was the best day of my life, so far.
I have been able to raise them since then.
She turned out to have a younger sister who became my other daughter.
So I have two with one price!
(Laughter)
I even have two grandchildren now. They are here today.
It is an incredible gift.
(clap)
So I invite you.
I invite you to develop your free will skills.
Do not leave the opportunity to be the person you want to become.
Just as doors open in your life.
Take a little time each day
You deserve it
Ask yourself what you want to be today.
Explain these concepts and values.
Haya, hope a little bit.
It does not hurt!
The only thing that separates you from the person you want to become
Are actions you do.
Thank you so much.
(clap)
”
Be First to Comment