so you may or may not know but uh I am the editor and associate publisher of
the editor and associate publisher of
the editor and associate publisher of the alt Weekly which is a paper over it
the alt Weekly which is a paper over it
the alt Weekly which is a paper over it is a partner up so I have to thank over
is a partner up so I have to thank over
is a partner up so I have to thank over it and only over it having said that you
it and only over it having said that you
it and only over it having said that you know two things about me they’re not
know two things about me they’re not
know two things about me they’re not particularly well looked upon I’m a
particularly well looked upon I’m a
particularly well looked upon I’m a suck-up anima journalist and as we all
suck-up anima journalist and as we all
suck-up anima journalist and as we all know a journalism has been under attack
know a journalism has been under attack
know a journalism has been under attack increasingly in the last decade to the
increasingly in the last decade to the
increasingly in the last decade to the point where now we have the President of
point where now we have the President of
point where now we have the President of the United States vilifying us we have
the United States vilifying us we have
the United States vilifying us we have governor’s across the country trying to
governor’s across the country trying to
governor’s across the country trying to undermine journalism limit access
undermine journalism limit access
undermine journalism limit access Governor Andrew Cuomo bill de blasio
Governor Andrew Cuomo bill de blasio
Governor Andrew Cuomo bill de blasio Donald Trump across party lines their
Donald Trump across party lines their
Donald Trump across party lines their tactic is to smear us as villains
tactic is to smear us as villains
tactic is to smear us as villains fabricators and yeah suck ups so this is
fabricators and yeah suck ups so this is
fabricators and yeah suck ups so this is my story about how I became a journalist
my story about how I became a journalist
my story about how I became a journalist because I think it’s increasingly
because I think it’s increasingly
because I think it’s increasingly important for the press to make it clear
important for the press to make it clear
important for the press to make it clear that we are human beings that what we do
that we are human beings that what we do
that we are human beings that what we do we do because of our humanity of our
we do because of our humanity of our
we do because of our humanity of our because of our will and want to make the
because of our will and want to make the
because of our will and want to make the world a better place and it might be
world a better place and it might be
world a better place and it might be cliche but this is the story about how I
cliche but this is the story about how I
cliche but this is the story about how I decided that I would get into the lowest
decided that I would get into the lowest
decided that I would get into the lowest paying career I could possibly find
paying career I could possibly find
paying career I could possibly find despite despite seeing on my professors
despite despite seeing on my professors
despite despite seeing on my professors door know that very distinctly noted how
door know that very distinctly noted how
door know that very distinctly noted how little I’d ever possibly be able to get
little I’d ever possibly be able to get
little I’d ever possibly be able to get paid a career where as I said we’re
paid a career where as I said we’re
paid a career where as I said we’re constantly attacked and made to feel
undermined as on your minors and it all
undermined as on your minors and it all starts with my father so thanks dad I
starts with my father so thanks dad I
starts with my father so thanks dad I don’t and I don’t mean that in the happy
don’t and I don’t mean that in the happy
don’t and I don’t mean that in the happy fuzzy sort of sense I’m sorry this is
fuzzy sort of sense I’m sorry this is
fuzzy sort of sense I’m sorry this is actually sort of a downer but a lot of
actually sort of a downer but a lot of
actually sort of a downer but a lot of the time I spend as a journalist these
the time I spend as a journalist these
the time I spend as a journalist these days is by the phone waiting for the
days is by the phone waiting for the
days is by the phone waiting for the call from an important source Yeti is
call from an important source Yeti is
call from an important source Yeti is you know this person will call me give
you know this person will call me give
you know this person will call me give me a sense of what I should look for
me a sense of what I should look for
me a sense of what I should look for maybe a tidbit of dirt perhaps they’ll
maybe a tidbit of dirt perhaps they’ll
maybe a tidbit of dirt perhaps they’ll pull back the curtain in some way it’s
pull back the curtain in some way it’s
pull back the curtain in some way it’s very similar to how I spent my childhood
very similar to how I spent my childhood
very similar to how I spent my childhood I was waiting by the phone hoping that
I was waiting by the phone hoping that
I was waiting by the phone hoping that my father would call he there you go we
my father would call he there you go we
my father would call he there you go we I grew up mostly without my father he
I grew up mostly without my father he
I grew up mostly without my father he was a British immigrant without a green
was a British immigrant without a green
was a British immigrant without a green card my mother met him on the drive up
card my mother met him on the drive up
card my mother met him on the drive up from the Taconic from from Manhattan she
from the Taconic from from Manhattan she
from the Taconic from from Manhattan she was a successful journalist she had a
was a successful journalist she had a
was a successful journalist she had a career in journalism in PR she worked
career in journalism in PR she worked
career in journalism in PR she worked for a minute made one minute late was
for a minute made one minute late was
for a minute made one minute late was first the company she reported on Andy
first the company she reported on Andy
first the company she reported on Andy Warhol she went to parties with folks
Warhol she went to parties with folks
Warhol she went to parties with folks like Stephen Sondheim she had quite
like Stephen Sondheim she had quite
like Stephen Sondheim she had quite quite a life and it’s extremely
quite a life and it’s extremely
quite a life and it’s extremely inspiring and then she met my father and
inspiring and then she met my father and
inspiring and then she met my father and it just so happened their cars had both
it just so happened their cars had both
it just so happened their cars had both broken down they are at a shop on the
broken down they are at a shop on the
broken down they are at a shop on the Taconic and they both weren’t grieving
Taconic and they both weren’t grieving
Taconic and they both weren’t grieving my mother had lost the best friend the
my mother had lost the best friend the
my mother had lost the best friend the cancer my father his first life he died
cancer my father his first life he died
cancer my father his first life he died suddenly of heart failure
suddenly of heart failure
suddenly of heart failure so rather than cancel her vacation my
so rather than cancel her vacation my
so rather than cancel her vacation my father offered that to give her a lift
father offered that to give her a lift
father offered that to give her a lift and then at the end of her vacation
and then at the end of her vacation
and then at the end of her vacation there he was waiting to pick her up
there he was waiting to pick her up
there he was waiting to pick her up shortly thereafter they bought a house
shortly thereafter they bought a house
shortly thereafter they bought a house in Germantown they decided to renovate
in Germantown they decided to renovate
in Germantown they decided to renovate it and they had me the problem was that
it and they had me the problem was that
it and they had me the problem was that my dad had an interesting sense of what
my dad had an interesting sense of what
my dad had an interesting sense of what it meant to be an American coming from
it meant to be an American coming from
it meant to be an American coming from Britain a very small country as you know
Britain a very small country as you know
Britain a very small country as you know and having grown up in a workhouse at
and having grown up in a workhouse at
and having grown up in a workhouse at that at one point he felt that America
that at one point he felt that America
that at one point he felt that America was a flailing it was a place to escape
was a flailing it was a place to escape
was a flailing it was a place to escape it was a wide-open space for him to
it was a wide-open space for him to
it was a wide-open space for him to explore and because of that he drove
explore and because of that he drove
explore and because of that he drove tour bus
tour bus
tour bus he drove big rigs he would tell us
he drove big rigs he would tell us
he drove big rigs he would tell us stories about driving Pink Floyd across
stories about driving Pink Floyd across
stories about driving Pink Floyd across the country he would tell me about
the country he would tell me about
the country he would tell me about Manhattan Transfer
Manhattan Transfer
Manhattan Transfer and how he would illegally Shepherd
and how he would illegally Shepherd
and how he would illegally Shepherd stolen goods across the Mexican and
stolen goods across the Mexican and
stolen goods across the Mexican and Canadian borders so eventually my mother
Canadian borders so eventually my mother
Canadian borders so eventually my mother said to him run when I was 2 years old
said to him run when I was 2 years old
said to him run when I was 2 years old Phil we need you here you either stay
Phil we need you here you either stay
Phil we need you here you either stay here or you get lost then we deal with
here or you get lost then we deal with
here or you get lost then we deal with life without you because your son wants
life without you because your son wants
life without you because your son wants you here and he’s confused
you here and he’s confused
you here and he’s confused my dad got up and left now our house was
my dad got up and left now our house was
my dad got up and left now our house was in the midst of an amazing renovation
in the midst of an amazing renovation
in the midst of an amazing renovation there were missing floorboards missing
insulation insulation it was a New York
insulation insulation it was a New York winter was on coming and the kind of
winter was on coming and the kind of
winter was on coming and the kind of winters we used to get the kind of snow
winters we used to get the kind of snow
winters we used to get the kind of snow that we claim that we love and miss but
that we claim that we love and miss but
that we claim that we love and miss but shut down the world and my mother spent
shut down the world and my mother spent
shut down the world and my mother spent her days with me cuddled by a heater
her days with me cuddled by a heater
her days with me cuddled by a heater trying to make sure neither of us froze
trying to make sure neither of us froze
trying to make sure neither of us froze I think it’s important to understand
I think it’s important to understand
I think it’s important to understand that my mother never said my father a
that my mother never said my father a
that my mother never said my father a negative thing about my father
negative thing about my father
negative thing about my father she took less a says he would give
she took less a says he would give
she took less a says he would give anyone the shirt off of his back what
anyone the shirt off of his back what
anyone the shirt off of his back what that translated to was never needed a
that translated to was never needed a
that translated to was never needed a washer our washer was theirs if they
washer our washer was theirs if they
washer our washer was theirs if they needed
needed
needed a heater the heater was theirs we were
a heater the heater was theirs we were
a heater the heater was theirs we were still home without a heater without a
still home without a heater without a
still home without a heater without a washer and that Lass’s that was his idea
washer and that Lass’s that was his idea
washer and that Lass’s that was his idea of being a good neighbor it just wasn’t
of being a good neighbor it just wasn’t
of being a good neighbor it just wasn’t that great of a father so when we talked
that great of a father so when we talked
that great of a father so when we talked about journalists today journalism we
about journalists today journalism we
about journalists today journalism we know that people have lost the great
know that people have lost the great
know that people have lost the great amount of trust in us now with the Trump
amount of trust in us now with the Trump
amount of trust in us now with the Trump presidency there there has been an
presidency there there has been an
presidency there there has been an increase a face in reporting from
increase a face in reporting from
increase a face in reporting from newspapers but it’s still very it’s
newspapers but it’s still very it’s
newspapers but it’s still very it’s nowhere near where it used to be the
nowhere near where it used to be the
nowhere near where it used to be the trust the public has in journalism as
trust the public has in journalism as
trust the public has in journalism as you can see it’s we’re still nowhere
you can see it’s we’re still nowhere
you can see it’s we’re still nowhere near where we were in the 1980’s the
near where we were in the 1980’s the
near where we were in the 1980’s the 1990s and this was a picture of me as a
1990s and this was a picture of me as a
1990s and this was a picture of me as a child v so growing up my mother taught
child v so growing up my mother taught
child v so growing up my mother taught me the value of arts entertainment books
me the value of arts entertainment books
me the value of arts entertainment books literature psychology and I was becoming
literature psychology and I was becoming
literature psychology and I was becoming a smart little kid and then my dad
a smart little kid and then my dad
a smart little kid and then my dad reappeared in my life he said I want to
reappeared in my life he said I want to
reappeared in my life he said I want to bring you back to Missouri I want to
bring you back to Missouri I want to
bring you back to Missouri I want to spend some quality time with you
spend some quality time with you
spend some quality time with you and like a lot of people who consume
and like a lot of people who consume
and like a lot of people who consume news I was hoping there was another
news I was hoping there was another
news I was hoping there was another truth out there I was hoping that what I
truth out there I was hoping that what I
truth out there I was hoping that what I learned about my father the fact that he
learned about my father the fact that he
learned about my father the fact that he wasn’t there was simply not true that
wasn’t there was simply not true that
wasn’t there was simply not true that perhaps it was really a good person and
perhaps it was really a good person and
perhaps it was really a good person and perhaps if I hoped hard enough and gave
perhaps if I hoped hard enough and gave
perhaps if I hoped hard enough and gave him a chance he would become the person
him a chance he would become the person
him a chance he would become the person I wanted him to be so I got up and left
I wanted him to be so I got up and left
I wanted him to be so I got up and left I remember being in the airport with my
I remember being in the airport with my
I remember being in the airport with my mother having a panic attack thinking
mother having a panic attack thinking
mother having a panic attack thinking I’m getting on an airplane to meet a man
I’m getting on an airplane to meet a man
I’m getting on an airplane to meet a man I’ve never met before up until this
I’ve never met before up until this
I’ve never met before up until this point I’d been in I spent time with him
point I’d been in I spent time with him
point I’d been in I spent time with him in an arcade where he’d give me change
in an arcade where he’d give me change
in an arcade where he’d give me change buy me a cowboy hat maybe have a
buy me a cowboy hat maybe have a
buy me a cowboy hat maybe have a breakfast with him in a greasy spoon
breakfast with him in a greasy spoon
breakfast with him in a greasy spoon truck stop cafe
truck stop cafe
truck stop cafe I never met spent much time with him so
I never met spent much time with him so
I never met spent much time with him so finally I arrived in Missouri and
finally I arrived in Missouri and
finally I arrived in Missouri and despite all the things he had told me he
despite all the things he had told me he
despite all the things he had told me he had a wife he had moved on and there was
had a wife he had moved on and there was
had a wife he had moved on and there was no chance he was coming home I was there
no chance he was coming home I was there
no chance he was coming home I was there because he wanted to fix me he was going
because he wanted to fix me he was going
because he wanted to fix me he was going to create a version of me it was better
to create a version of me it was better
to create a version of me it was better than what my mother had done which is
than what my mother had done which is
than what my mother had done which is completely unlikely given that his his
completely unlikely given that his his
completely unlikely given that his his version of America was one where Walmart
version of America was one where Walmart
version of America was one where Walmart was perhaps the greatest pinnacle of
was perhaps the greatest pinnacle of
was perhaps the greatest pinnacle of creation where literature and thought
creation where literature and thought
creation where literature and thought didn’t really matter because America
didn’t really matter because America
didn’t really matter because America provided opportunity limitless
provided opportunity limitless
provided opportunity limitless opportunity and he said about telling me
opportunity and he said about telling me
opportunity and he said about telling me how I should get involved in I look
how I should get involved in I look
how I should get involved in I look forward to doing the community college
forward to doing the community college
forward to doing the community college to become a roadie it didn’t sound
to become a roadie it didn’t sound
to become a roadie it didn’t sound particularly good to me particularly
particularly good to me particularly
particularly good to me particularly sensible but when your dad tells you you
sensible but when your dad tells you you
sensible but when your dad tells you you know you should get into rock and roll
know you should get into rock and roll
know you should get into rock and roll it’s sort of tempting and what he tells
it’s sort of tempting and what he tells
it’s sort of tempting and what he tells you I know Roger Waters I know Mick
you I know Roger Waters I know Mick
you I know Roger Waters I know Mick Jagger I can hook you up with Pete
Jagger I can hook you up with Pete
Jagger I can hook you up with Pete Townsend and your kid you think hey
Townsend and your kid you think hey
Townsend and your kid you think hey maybe this is the way we should go but
maybe this is the way we should go but
maybe this is the way we should go but then my dad said you know what I have I
then my dad said you know what I have I
then my dad said you know what I have I have a 5 another commitment I need to go
have a 5 another commitment I need to go
have a 5 another commitment I need to go on a trucking run from Chicago to Texas
on a trucking run from Chicago to Texas
on a trucking run from Chicago to Texas to Seattle so for two weeks I was in the
to Seattle so for two weeks I was in the
to Seattle so for two weeks I was in the bunk of a 16-wheeler traveling across
bunk of a 16-wheeler traveling across
bunk of a 16-wheeler traveling across the United States listening my father
the United States listening my father
the United States listening my father tell me that my mother had raised me
tell me that my mother had raised me
tell me that my mother had raised me improperly I spent most that time asleep
improperly I spent most that time asleep
improperly I spent most that time asleep because I couldn’t really listen to it
because I couldn’t really listen to it
because I couldn’t really listen to it and reconcile what I was hearing
what matters news journalist is truth
what matters news journalist is truth it’s getting to the bottom of hypocrisy
it’s getting to the bottom of hypocrisy
it’s getting to the bottom of hypocrisy of lies of helping the public better
of lies of helping the public better
of lies of helping the public better understand the people who control their
understand the people who control their
understand the people who control their lives as much as I’d like to tell you
lives as much as I’d like to tell you
lives as much as I’d like to tell you that I’m objective it’s simply not true
that I’m objective it’s simply not true
that I’m objective it’s simply not true and I don’t think any journalists can
and I don’t think any journalists can
and I don’t think any journalists can tell you that they’re actually objective
tell you that they’re actually objective
tell you that they’re actually objective I’m a journalist because I wanted to
I’m a journalist because I wanted to
I’m a journalist because I wanted to answer
answer
answer my father I wanted a value truth and
my father I wanted a value truth and
my father I wanted a value truth and exploration of issues over accepting
exploration of issues over accepting
exploration of issues over accepting what was presented to me this is from
what was presented to me this is from
what was presented to me this is from contrast Thompson not a journalist whose
contrast Thompson not a journalist whose
contrast Thompson not a journalist whose work I think I respect but who is honest
work I think I respect but who is honest
work I think I respect but who is honest I think the biggest mistake we’ve seen
I think the biggest mistake we’ve seen
I think the biggest mistake we’ve seen some of the larger companies from the
some of the larger companies from the
some of the larger companies from the New York Times The Times Union the
New York Times The Times Union the
New York Times The Times Union the biggest the mistake they’ve made in
biggest the mistake they’ve made in
biggest the mistake they’ve made in reaction to the fake news hysteria has
reaction to the fake news hysteria has
reaction to the fake news hysteria has been to say we are real news you can
been to say we are real news you can
been to say we are real news you can trust us more than anyone else forget
trust us more than anyone else forget
trust us more than anyone else forget those other guys they’re horrible but we
those other guys they’re horrible but we
those other guys they’re horrible but we we produce real news it’s fairly
we produce real news it’s fairly
we produce real news it’s fairly dishonest it it sort of throws everyone
dishonest it it sort of throws everyone
dishonest it it sort of throws everyone else under the bus and since they’re the
else under the bus and since they’re the
else under the bus and since they’re the people with the credentials to do this
people with the credentials to do this
people with the credentials to do this and only trust them
and only trust them
and only trust them the truth is humanity can’t be erased
the truth is humanity can’t be erased
the truth is humanity can’t be erased opinion can’t be erased objectivity
opinion can’t be erased objectivity
opinion can’t be erased objectivity can’t be erased this is what Norman
can’t be erased this is what Norman
can’t be erased this is what Norman Mailer said about journalism if a person
Mailer said about journalism if a person
Mailer said about journalism if a person is not talented enough to be a novelist
is not talented enough to be a novelist
is not talented enough to be a novelist not smart enough to be a lawyer and his
not smart enough to be a lawyer and his
not smart enough to be a lawyer and his answer to shaking reform operations
answer to shaking reform operations
answer to shaking reform operations he becomes a journalist and I can tell
he becomes a journalist and I can tell
he becomes a journalist and I can tell you that’s exactly where I was in
you that’s exactly where I was in
you that’s exactly where I was in college it was a little surprising in
college it was a little surprising in
college it was a little surprising in some people that I made it to college
some people that I made it to college
some people that I made it to college after that adventure across the country
after that adventure across the country
after that adventure across the country with my father I returned home and
with my father I returned home and
with my father I returned home and started going to school less and less
started going to school less and less
started going to school less and less started going to shows in New York City
started going to shows in New York City
started going to shows in New York City rather than going taking tests I avoided
rather than going taking tests I avoided
rather than going taking tests I avoided school as much as possible until it
school as much as possible until it
school as much as possible until it actually became impossible for me to
actually became impossible for me to
actually became impossible for me to avoid because I was sent to a school for
avoid because I was sent to a school for
avoid because I was sent to a school for kids who were being very bad
kids who were being very bad
kids who were being very bad but I made it through college and while
but I made it through college and while
but I made it through college and while I was there I thought I’d be a doctor
I was there I thought I’d be a doctor
I was there I thought I’d be a doctor because I wanted to help people I wanted
because I wanted to help people I wanted
because I wanted to help people I wanted a way to give back to the community I
a way to give back to the community I
a way to give back to the community I wanted to feel like I made a difference
wanted to feel like I made a difference
wanted to feel like I made a difference I wanted to I wanted to be important but
I wanted to I wanted to be important but
I wanted to I wanted to be important but there was still that lingering feeling
there was still that lingering feeling
there was still that lingering feeling that I needed the truth that the most
that I needed the truth that the most
that I needed the truth that the most important thing I could do is find out
important thing I could do is find out
important thing I could do is find out what was really going on to hold power
what was really going on to hold power
what was really going on to hold power accountable to deal with hypocrisy so
accountable to deal with hypocrisy so
accountable to deal with hypocrisy so there was a mistake when I went to the
there was a mistake when I went to the
there was a mistake when I went to the college paper wrote a story about how
college paper wrote a story about how
college paper wrote a story about how the internet wasn’t working on campus
the internet wasn’t working on campus
the internet wasn’t working on campus that one call I made to the tech company
that one call I made to the tech company
that one call I made to the tech company was a revelation they begged me not to
was a revelation they begged me not to
was a revelation they begged me not to print that their money and time had been
print that their money and time had been
print that their money and time had been wasted and that they were behind
wasted and that they were behind
wasted and that they were behind schedule and that we wouldn’t be getting
schedule and that we wouldn’t be getting
schedule and that we wouldn’t be getting internet service for another few months
internet service for another few months
internet service for another few months it was news that students obviously
it was news that students obviously
it was news that students obviously weren’t going to be very happy about but
weren’t going to be very happy about but
weren’t going to be very happy about but right there off the bat I was holding
right there off the bat I was holding
right there off the bat I was holding power accountable and I banned it all
power accountable and I banned it all
power accountable and I banned it all plans to be a psychologist to be a
plans to be a psychologist to be a
plans to be a psychologist to be a doctor they were gone I was addicted
everything from there I think what’s a
everything from there I think what’s a bit of luck unlike everyone else in
bit of luck unlike everyone else in
bit of luck unlike everyone else in journalism I landed a job straight out
journalism I landed a job straight out
journalism I landed a job straight out of college I’ve been employed as a
of college I’ve been employed as a
of college I’ve been employed as a journalist straight on since I’ve never
journalist straight on since I’ve never
journalist straight on since I’ve never been forced to freelance and I think it
been forced to freelance and I think it
been forced to freelance and I think it is luck as you know you may not know PR
is luck as you know you may not know PR
is luck as you know you may not know PR professionals outnumber journalists five
professionals outnumber journalists five
professionals outnumber journalists five to one these days PR professionals are
to one these days PR professionals are
to one these days PR professionals are told give up on getting a story in print
told give up on getting a story in print
told give up on getting a story in print they’re just enough journalists to
they’re just enough journalists to
they’re just enough journalists to actually write it and I know that it’s
actually write it and I know that it’s
actually write it and I know that it’s true being a journalist we get more
true being a journalist we get more
true being a journalist we get more press releases than we can possibly
press releases than we can possibly
press releases than we can possibly handle we have so many stories we’re
handle we have so many stories we’re
handle we have so many stories we’re already looking and working on in depth
already looking and working on in depth
already looking and working on in depth that the idea that we’re going to print
that the idea that we’re going to print
that the idea that we’re going to print the story about a mall opening or a
the story about a mall opening or a
the story about a mall opening or a store opening it’s ridiculous so with
store opening it’s ridiculous so with
store opening it’s ridiculous so with the amount of money that’s put into
the amount of money that’s put into
the amount of money that’s put into journalism these days the only value I
journalism these days the only value I
journalism these days the only value I see is doing in-depth reporting and
see is doing in-depth reporting and
see is doing in-depth reporting and boosting those who are doing good work
boosting those who are doing good work
boosting those who are doing good work in the community so
in the community so
in the community so sorry the having been a successful
sorry the having been a successful
sorry the having been a successful journalist for a few years
journalist for a few years
journalist for a few years successful suddenly my father again
successful suddenly my father again
successful suddenly my father again appeared out of nowhere I wasn’t
appeared out of nowhere I wasn’t
appeared out of nowhere I wasn’t expecting to hear from him ever again
expecting to hear from him ever again
expecting to hear from him ever again it had been about ten years I was dating
it had been about ten years I was dating
it had been about ten years I was dating the woman of my dreams I had a fiance
the woman of my dreams I had a fiance
the woman of my dreams I had a fiance things were going very well for me
things were going very well for me
things were going very well for me and I said to myself I should take
and I said to myself I should take
and I said to myself I should take advantage of this I should go talk to my
advantage of this I should go talk to my
advantage of this I should go talk to my father
father
father I should force myself to confront this
I should force myself to confront this
I should force myself to confront this person who has motivated me so deeply
person who has motivated me so deeply
person who has motivated me so deeply throughout my life with his lies so my
throughout my life with his lies so my
throughout my life with his lies so my wife and I formulated a plan I would go
wife and I formulated a plan I would go
wife and I formulated a plan I would go to Wisconsin Beaver Dam Wisconsin a town
to Wisconsin Beaver Dam Wisconsin a town
to Wisconsin Beaver Dam Wisconsin a town of I don’t know I’m honored and I would
of I don’t know I’m honored and I would
of I don’t know I’m honored and I would confront my father and document it I
confront my father and document it I
confront my father and document it I would ask him about growing up with Mick
would ask him about growing up with Mick
would ask him about growing up with Mick Jagger playing soccer with Dudley Moore
Jagger playing soccer with Dudley Moore
Jagger playing soccer with Dudley Moore some of these things are true he has
some of these things are true he has
some of these things are true he has pictures of himself playing soccer with
pictures of himself playing soccer with
pictures of himself playing soccer with Dudley Moore there there there’s no
Dudley Moore there there there’s no
Dudley Moore there there there’s no disputing him so we arrived in Chicago
disputing him so we arrived in Chicago
disputing him so we arrived in Chicago after a 16-hour train ride the night
after a 16-hour train ride the night
after a 16-hour train ride the night before I had a bit of an anxiety attack
before I had a bit of an anxiety attack
before I had a bit of an anxiety attack and I wasn’t hospitalized not because of
and I wasn’t hospitalized not because of
and I wasn’t hospitalized not because of the anxiety attack but because I had
the anxiety attack but because I had
the anxiety attack but because I had stomach pains I just couldn’t explain my
stomach pains I just couldn’t explain my
stomach pains I just couldn’t explain my blood pressure was up and her said to me
blood pressure was up and her said to me
blood pressure was up and her said to me are you worried about something
are you worried about something
are you worried about something I said yeah I think so
I said yeah I think so
I said yeah I think so and I took out the IV in my arm and went
and I took out the IV in my arm and went
and I took out the IV in my arm and went home to pack my wife and I spent those
home to pack my wife and I spent those
home to pack my wife and I spent those 16 hours on the train mostly in silence
16 hours on the train mostly in silence
16 hours on the train mostly in silence we really weren’t sure what to expect I
we really weren’t sure what to expect I
we really weren’t sure what to expect I haven’t seen this man in 10 years it’s a
haven’t seen this man in 10 years it’s a
haven’t seen this man in 10 years it’s a British man who some reason had a braced
British man who some reason had a braced
British man who some reason had a braced truck driving when he came to America
truck driving when he came to America
truck driving when he came to America and there was so much expectations this
and there was so much expectations this
and there was so much expectations this is a man who had promised weakly to come
is a man who had promised weakly to come
is a man who had promised weakly to come to the base little league games and that
to the base little league games and that
to the base little league games and that showed up a man who at one point my
showed up a man who at one point my
showed up a man who at one point my mother had to hide me forced my mother
mother had to hide me forced my mother
mother had to hide me forced my mother to hide me because he had ended some
to hide me because he had ended some
to hide me because he had ended some night on a tour bus drive drunk and
night on a tour bus drive drunk and
night on a tour bus drive drunk and drugged out of his mind and threatening
drugged out of his mind and threatening
drugged out of his mind and threatening to kidnap an you’ll bring me back to
to kidnap an you’ll bring me back to
to kidnap an you’ll bring me back to England so there was obviously issues of
England so there was obviously issues of
England so there was obviously issues of trust going in wood we arrived my father
trust going in wood we arrived my father
trust going in wood we arrived my father was there and his cowboy boots just as
was there and his cowboy boots just as
was there and his cowboy boots just as he always had been a cowboy hat he still
he always had been a cowboy hat he still
he always had been a cowboy hat he still had his hair but his face was like a
had his hair but his face was like a
had his hair but his face was like a melting bowl of pudding
melting bowl of pudding
melting bowl of pudding he didn’t have any teeth he didn’t have
he didn’t have any teeth he didn’t have
he didn’t have any teeth he didn’t have any dentures and he looked like the
any dentures and he looked like the
any dentures and he looked like the saddest sack of humanity I’d ever seen
saddest sack of humanity I’d ever seen
saddest sack of humanity I’d ever seen he wasn’t he was no longer threatening
he wasn’t he was no longer threatening
he wasn’t he was no longer threatening and I thought to myself there’s no
and I thought to myself there’s no
and I thought to myself there’s no reason to attack this man there’s no
reason to attack this man there’s no
reason to attack this man there’s no reason to pick apart his stories there’s
reason to pick apart his stories there’s
reason to pick apart his stories there’s no truth to be found here and it was
no truth to be found here and it was
no truth to be found here and it was right for the next two weeks my father
right for the next two weeks my father
right for the next two weeks my father talked about his morning calls with
talked about his morning calls with
talked about his morning calls with McTaggart how he advised Pete Townsend
McTaggart how he advised Pete Townsend
McTaggart how he advised Pete Townsend how to write his first book how the
how to write his first book how the
how to write his first book how the British government was set to unleash a
British government was set to unleash a
British government was set to unleash a conspiracy against hounds and smearing
conspiracy against hounds and smearing
conspiracy against hounds and smearing him with child pedophilia allegations he
him with child pedophilia allegations he
him with child pedophilia allegations he told us about how when he was in the
told us about how when he was in the
told us about how when he was in the workhouse which we do believe is true he
workhouse which we do believe is true he
workhouse which we do believe is true he would go out back and give Winston
would go out back and give Winston
would go out back and give Winston Churchill baths or run errands for him
Churchill baths or run errands for him
Churchill baths or run errands for him while he was old enough for that to have
while he was old enough for that to have
while he was old enough for that to have happened for some reason I just didn’t
happened for some reason I just didn’t
happened for some reason I just didn’t believe him and it kept going on he
believe him and it kept going on he
believe him and it kept going on he explained my wife that he was
explained my wife that he was
explained my wife that he was disappointed in his daughter back in
disappointed in his daughter back in
disappointed in his daughter back in England because she had married a
England because she had married a
England because she had married a footballer he a professional footballer
footballer he a professional footballer
footballer he a professional footballer it sounds good to me
it sounds good to me
it sounds good to me it’s turns out the problem was he was an
it’s turns out the problem was he was an
it’s turns out the problem was he was an immigrant and he wasn’t white
immigrant and he wasn’t white
immigrant and he wasn’t white my wife my father hadn’t noticed was
my wife my father hadn’t noticed was
my wife my father hadn’t noticed was half african-american and yet he
half african-american and yet he
half african-american and yet he continued on this route one night we
continued on this route one night we
continued on this route one night we were walking the streets of Beaver Dam
were walking the streets of Beaver Dam
were walking the streets of Beaver Dam my wife and I she wasn’t my wife at the
my wife and I she wasn’t my wife at the
my wife and I she wasn’t my wife at the time but fiance we are out walking
time but fiance we are out walking
time but fiance we are out walking because I couldn’t stand being in the
because I couldn’t stand being in the
because I couldn’t stand being in the house I couldn’t listen any more lies
house I couldn’t listen any more lies
house I couldn’t listen any more lies and I said there were two things I was
and I said there were two things I was
and I said there were two things I was considering I was either gonna get in a
considering I was either gonna get in a
considering I was either gonna get in a taxi and go to the train station or to
taxi and go to the train station or to
taxi and go to the train station or to the airport or I was going to smother my
the airport or I was going to smother my
the airport or I was going to smother my father to death with a pillow and she
father to death with a pillow and she
father to death with a pillow and she told me you know honey I think there’s a
told me you know honey I think there’s a
told me you know honey I think there’s a better route I still think there’s
better route I still think there’s
better route I still think there’s something to salvage from this at that
something to salvage from this at that
something to salvage from this at that point I was sure there wasn’t a book
point I was sure there wasn’t a book
point I was sure there wasn’t a book there wasn’t a documentary
there wasn’t a documentary
there wasn’t a documentary there wasn’t anything of value there
there wasn’t anything of value there
there wasn’t anything of value there wasn’t a way for me to claim justice
wasn’t a way for me to claim justice
wasn’t a way for me to claim justice there wasn’t a way for me to expose this
there wasn’t a way for me to expose this
there wasn’t a way for me to expose this person there was nothing left to expose
person there was nothing left to expose
person there was nothing left to expose he was his lies he was an old man with
he was his lies he was an old man with
he was his lies he was an old man with no teeth living in a hundred person town
no teeth living in a hundred person town
no teeth living in a hundred person town in Beaver Dam Wisconsin the man who
in Beaver Dam Wisconsin the man who
in Beaver Dam Wisconsin the man who would have justified my entire existence
would have justified my entire existence
would have justified my entire existence was little more than a delusional truck
was little more than a delusional truck
was little more than a delusional truck driver it made little sense it was hard
driver it made little sense it was hard
driver it made little sense it was hard to reconcile on the day that we left for
to reconcile on the day that we left for
to reconcile on the day that we left for home my father insisted he drive he
home my father insisted he drive he
home my father insisted he drive he picked us up in a green brand-new Jaguar
picked us up in a green brand-new Jaguar
picked us up in a green brand-new Jaguar it didn’t make sense to me that he’d
it didn’t make sense to me that he’d
it didn’t make sense to me that he’d have such a car and he told me he was
have such a car and he told me he was
have such a car and he told me he was proud of it because he was going to give
proud of it because he was going to give
proud of it because he was going to give it to his my stuff my stepmother his
it to his my stuff my stepmother his
it to his my stuff my stepmother his grandson and I struck a chord because
grandson and I struck a chord because
grandson and I struck a chord because this may had it only given me a cowboy
this may had it only given me a cowboy
this may had it only given me a cowboy hat and 25 cents as a kid so he decided
hat and 25 cents as a kid so he decided
hat and 25 cents as a kid so he decided not to take the Jaguar he took a brand
not to take the Jaguar he took a brand
not to take the Jaguar he took a brand new f450 our luggage was strapped in the
new f450 our luggage was strapped in the
new f450 our luggage was strapped in the back and we drove from Beaver Dam
back and we drove from Beaver Dam
back and we drove from Beaver Dam Wisconsin to Chicago eventually one of
Wisconsin to Chicago eventually one of
Wisconsin to Chicago eventually one of the straps snaps and our luggage got
the straps snaps and our luggage got
the straps snaps and our luggage got loose
loose
loose my father insisted that he take care of
my father insisted that he take care of
my father insisted that he take care of it himself while he was doing this I
it himself while he was doing this I
it himself while he was doing this I noticed he really couldn’t use his arm
noticed he really couldn’t use his arm
noticed he really couldn’t use his arm for some reason hit it escape didn’t
for some reason hit it escape didn’t
for some reason hit it escape didn’t escape me much earlier I was too busy
escape me much earlier I was too busy
escape me much earlier I was too busy listening about to Pete Townsend stories
listening about to Pete Townsend stories
listening about to Pete Townsend stories and he struggled eventually the wire
and he struggled eventually the wire
and he struggled eventually the wire snapped and smashed the back window I
snapped and smashed the back window I
snapped and smashed the back window I felt really sorry for him I tell he
felt really sorry for him I tell he
felt really sorry for him I tell he couldn’t move properly turns out he was
couldn’t move properly turns out he was
couldn’t move properly turns out he was giving a tour of the back of the docks
giving a tour of the back of the docks
giving a tour of the back of the docks of Walmart doing a safety check when he
of Walmart doing a safety check when he
of Walmart doing a safety check when he opened one of the doors to a truck the
opened one of the doors to a truck the
opened one of the doors to a truck the cargo pallet fell out and crushed him he
cargo pallet fell out and crushed him he
cargo pallet fell out and crushed him he nearly died his arm was paralyzed
nearly died his arm was paralyzed
nearly died his arm was paralyzed permanently they told him that his
permanently they told him that his
permanently they told him that his lymphedema is so bad and his blood
lymphedema is so bad and his blood
lymphedema is so bad and his blood pressure so high that he’d never drive
pressure so high that he’d never drive
pressure so high that he’d never drive again because sitting for extended
again because sitting for extended
again because sitting for extended period of time would lead to a deathly
period of time would lead to a deathly
period of time would lead to a deathly blood clot and he couldn’t use a
blood clot and he couldn’t use a
blood clot and he couldn’t use a steering wheel it all became clear to me
steering wheel it all became clear to me
steering wheel it all became clear to me just how sad this was at that moment and
just how sad this was at that moment and
just how sad this was at that moment and my father said to me David uh you know I
my father said to me David uh you know I
my father said to me David uh you know I can’t really afford to send to pay for
can’t really afford to send to pay for
can’t really afford to send to pay for this trip I’m sorry I told you if you
this trip I’m sorry I told you if you
this trip I’m sorry I told you if you came here I pay for it and also I have
came here I pay for it and also I have
came here I pay for it and also I have to get my grandson a present I sort of
to get my grandson a present I sort of
to get my grandson a present I sort of snapped at that point very small and
snapped at that point very small and
snapped at that point very small and said well you know dad this is October
said well you know dad this is October
said well you know dad this is October next month is November it’s my birthday
next month is November it’s my birthday
next month is November it’s my birthday coming up too I don’t know if you
coming up too I don’t know if you
coming up too I don’t know if you remember this he said to me as he was
remember this he said to me as he was
remember this he said to me as he was fixing the windshield I’ll give you I
fixing the windshield I’ll give you I
fixing the windshield I’ll give you I could use a drink
could use a drink
could use a drink why don’t you go get a drink he handed
why don’t you go get a drink he handed
why don’t you go get a drink he handed me a hundred dollars and said keep the
me a hundred dollars and said keep the
me a hundred dollars and said keep the change
change
change it’s the least I could do for your
it’s the least I could do for your
it’s the least I could do for your birthday I said no dad that’s okay
birthday I said no dad that’s okay
birthday I said no dad that’s okay I’m not thirsty we got to the train
I’m not thirsty we got to the train
I’m not thirsty we got to the train station
station
station and I hope my dad would just get in the
and I hope my dad would just get in the
and I hope my dad would just get in the car and drive away but he did he stood
car and drive away but he did he stood
car and drive away but he did he stood there with nothing to say the saddest
there with nothing to say the saddest
there with nothing to say the saddest person I’ve ever seen on the planet
person I’ve ever seen on the planet
person I’ve ever seen on the planet sunken face arm paralyzed a red hue
sunken face arm paralyzed a red hue
sunken face arm paralyzed a red hue because he had struggled so much to fix
because he had struggled so much to fix
because he had struggled so much to fix the windshield and it was at that point
the windshield and it was at that point
the windshield and it was at that point but I couldn’t take it anymore I started
but I couldn’t take it anymore I started
but I couldn’t take it anymore I started balling my wife consoled me and my
balling my wife consoled me and my
balling my wife consoled me and my father could see how much he
father could see how much he
father could see how much he disappointed me it was absolutely clear
disappointed me it was absolutely clear
disappointed me it was absolutely clear to him he walked away and got in his car
to him he walked away and got in his car
to him he walked away and got in his car I got on the train
I got on the train
I got on the train looked out the window and as I didn’t a
looked out the window and as I didn’t a
looked out the window and as I didn’t a kid I still hope to catch a glimpse of
kid I still hope to catch a glimpse of
kid I still hope to catch a glimpse of my father but this time I wanted to see
my father but this time I wanted to see
my father but this time I wanted to see a better version I wanted to see the
a better version I wanted to see the
a better version I wanted to see the version that I thought I would meet but
version that I thought I would meet but
version that I thought I would meet but it was too late we got home my wife and
it was too late we got home my wife and
it was too late we got home my wife and I were to be married the next year and
I were to be married the next year and
I were to be married the next year and while I didn’t come away with the book
while I didn’t come away with the book
while I didn’t come away with the book and I didn’t come away with a
and I didn’t come away with a
and I didn’t come away with a documentary I thought maybe I could take
documentary I thought maybe I could take
documentary I thought maybe I could take pity on my father so I invited him to
pity on my father so I invited him to
pity on my father so I invited him to our wedding our wedding past my father
our wedding our wedding past my father
our wedding our wedding past my father didn’t show up I got a I got a letter
didn’t show up I got a I got a letter
didn’t show up I got a I got a letter from his wife saying he had fallen off
from his wife saying he had fallen off
from his wife saying he had fallen off the roof in October and was even worse
the roof in October and was even worse
the roof in October and was even worse off than he was before she wasn’t sure
off than he was before she wasn’t sure
off than he was before she wasn’t sure if he was gonna live my wedding was in
if he was gonna live my wedding was in
if he was gonna live my wedding was in September it wasn’t an excuse it was lie
September it wasn’t an excuse it was lie
September it wasn’t an excuse it was lie again so he gave we gave up I haven’t
again so he gave we gave up I haven’t
again so he gave we gave up I haven’t talked to my father since there was no
talked to my father since there was no
talked to my father since there was no reconciliation after a year with my wife
reconciliation after a year with my wife
reconciliation after a year with my wife we had a child and it got me to thinking
we had a child and it got me to thinking
we had a child and it got me to thinking what is truth what was it that I was
what is truth what was it that I was
what is truth what was it that I was looking for from my father is it
looking for from my father is it
looking for from my father is it something I can find in journalism I
something I can find in journalism I
something I can find in journalism I think it’s something I had already found
think it’s something I had already found
think it’s something I had already found by the time I went to get to meet my
by the time I went to get to meet my
by the time I went to get to meet my father
father
father it was everything my mother had
it was everything my mother had
it was everything my mother had instilled in me the value of truth the
instilled in me the value of truth the
instilled in me the value of truth the value of learning the value of holding
value of learning the value of holding
value of learning the value of holding power accountable it was already there
power accountable it was already there
power accountable it was already there and when I went to meet my father that’s
and when I went to meet my father that’s
and when I went to meet my father that’s when it all became perfectly clear that
when it all became perfectly clear that
when it all became perfectly clear that everything I needed was already there I
everything I needed was already there I
everything I needed was already there I was looking for something that was
was looking for something that was
was looking for something that was already read in my lap two years later I
already read in my lap two years later I
already read in my lap two years later I had a child we named her Asha Sanskrit
had a child we named her Asha Sanskrit
had a child we named her Asha Sanskrit for truth
and my father has never seen him
and my father has never seen him I think journalism for me is extremely
I think journalism for me is extremely
I think journalism for me is extremely personal and I think for a number of
personal and I think for a number of
personal and I think for a number of other journalists it is – they’ll tell
other journalists it is – they’ll tell
other journalists it is – they’ll tell you they don’t vote keep people away
you they don’t vote keep people away
you they don’t vote keep people away from influencing a race that they knew
from influencing a race that they knew
from influencing a race that they knew too much about they’ll tell you they are
too much about they’ll tell you they are
too much about they’ll tell you they are completely unbiased when they write a
completely unbiased when they write a
completely unbiased when they write a story but we’re all motivated by human
story but we’re all motivated by human
story but we’re all motivated by human emotions by everything that brought us
emotions by everything that brought us
emotions by everything that brought us to that point and there’s no escaping it
to that point and there’s no escaping it
to that point and there’s no escaping it I believe the public knows this almost
I believe the public knows this almost
I believe the public knows this almost better than we do and they’ve lost
better than we do and they’ve lost
better than we do and they’ve lost respect for us because we insist there
respect for us because we insist there
respect for us because we insist there were our bias and we’re more than human
were our bias and we’re more than human
were our bias and we’re more than human that we can escape all of this and the
that we can escape all of this and the
that we can escape all of this and the truth is we can’t that we should
truth is we can’t that we should
truth is we can’t that we should journalists should be more upfront about
journalists should be more upfront about
journalists should be more upfront about the fact that they are human and what
the fact that they are human and what
the fact that they are human and what they’re doing is trying to serve the
they’re doing is trying to serve the
they’re doing is trying to serve the public I hope in the coming years we
public I hope in the coming years we
public I hope in the coming years we have a better a better approval rating
have a better a better approval rating
have a better a better approval rating but I don’t think it really matters one
but I don’t think it really matters one
but I don’t think it really matters one way or the other because we have to do
way or the other because we have to do
way or the other because we have to do our jobs and we’ll continue to do them
our jobs and we’ll continue to do them
our jobs and we’ll continue to do them for the foreseeable future thank you
for the foreseeable future thank you
for the foreseeable future thank you very much
very much
very much [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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