[Music] [Applause]
my name is Michael Conroy and I’ve got
my name is Michael Conroy and I’ve got too much power before I explore that
too much power before I explore that
too much power before I explore that idea I’d like to ask a question like to
idea I’d like to ask a question like to
idea I’d like to ask a question like to go out on a limb and say if you don’t
go out on a limb and say if you don’t
go out on a limb and say if you don’t mind could you raise your hands if you
mind could you raise your hands if you
mind could you raise your hands if you believe love is important to every
believe love is important to every
believe love is important to every single human being okay thanks
single human being okay thanks
single human being okay thanks one more bit and it’s not a Mexican wife
one more bit and it’s not a Mexican wife
one more bit and it’s not a Mexican wife can you raise your hands if you think
can you raise your hands if you think
can you raise your hands if you think friendship is important to every single
friendship is important to every single
friendship is important to every single human being okay I agree I agree with
human being okay I agree I agree with
human being okay I agree I agree with that kind of response which I think was
that kind of response which I think was
that kind of response which I think was pretty unanimous fine let’s park that
pretty unanimous fine let’s park that
pretty unanimous fine let’s park that let’s keep that Here I am I’m
let’s keep that Here I am I’m
let’s keep that Here I am I’m middle-aged I’m middle-class I’m
middle-aged I’m middle-class I’m
middle-aged I’m middle-class I’m able-bodied and I’m white a white man
able-bodied and I’m white a white man
able-bodied and I’m white a white man and when I used to look in the mirror I
and when I used to look in the mirror I
and when I used to look in the mirror I just see me but now when I look in the
just see me but now when I look in the
just see me but now when I look in the mirror I see the reality that all of
mirror I see the reality that all of
mirror I see the reality that all of those things actually give me some
those things actually give me some
those things actually give me some cultural status cultural credit you
cultural status cultural credit you
cultural status cultural credit you could say something I can spend which
could say something I can spend which
could say something I can spend which equate to power and it’s a power that I
equate to power and it’s a power that I
equate to power and it’s a power that I haven’t built for myself it’s one I
haven’t built for myself it’s one I
haven’t built for myself it’s one I inherited I didn’t need to do anything
inherited I didn’t need to do anything
inherited I didn’t need to do anything at all to get it it was just there and I
at all to get it it was just there and I
at all to get it it was just there and I was born and it’s a power that insulates
was born and it’s a power that insulates
was born and it’s a power that insulates me against lots of things it insulates
me against lots of things it insulates
me against lots of things it insulates me against racism it insulates me
me against racism it insulates me
me against racism it insulates me against sexism it’s a power that allows
against sexism it’s a power that allows
against sexism it’s a power that allows me and people who look like me to
me and people who look like me to
me and people who look like me to dominate commerce politics culture
dominate commerce politics culture
dominate commerce politics culture journalism all kinds of things for
journalism all kinds of things for
journalism all kinds of things for centuries
centuries
centuries and that’s an unwarranted power and it’s
and that’s an unwarranted power and it’s
and that’s an unwarranted power and it’s a distortion the interesting thing
a distortion the interesting thing
a distortion the interesting thing though I mean it doesn’t make us
though I mean it doesn’t make us
though I mean it doesn’t make us invincible you know we still get ill you
invincible you know we still get ill you
invincible you know we still get ill you get depressed I suffer from depression
get depressed I suffer from depression
get depressed I suffer from depression we grieve we have accidents bad things
we grieve we have accidents bad things
we grieve we have accidents bad things happen and when people say to people
happen and when people say to people
happen and when people say to people like me you know middle-class white men
like me you know middle-class white men
like me you know middle-class white men that we are somehow kind of responsible
that we are somehow kind of responsible
that we are somehow kind of responsible for certain things we say yeah but look
for certain things we say yeah but look
for certain things we say yeah but look at my life it’s not perfect I’m not
at my life it’s not perfect I’m not
at my life it’s not perfect I’m not happy now but we have to look at it was
happy now but we have to look at it was
happy now but we have to look at it was all together and realize what we’ve got
all together and realize what we’ve got
all together and realize what we’ve got that perhaps we don’t deserve and we
that perhaps we don’t deserve and we
that perhaps we don’t deserve and we just need to be honest about it I’m just
just need to be honest about it I’m just
just need to be honest about it I’m just gonna have a bit of a an adventure Yeah
gonna have a bit of a an adventure Yeah
gonna have a bit of a an adventure Yeah right okay
right okay
right okay speak truth to power is a great saying
speak truth to power is a great saying
speak truth to power is a great saying what I really like about this is it
what I really like about this is it
what I really like about this is it separates the notions of truth and power
separates the notions of truth and power
separates the notions of truth and power because they’re not the same thing and
because they’re not the same thing and
because they’re not the same thing and it asks us to speak to people who may
it asks us to speak to people who may
it asks us to speak to people who may not want us to speak to them like the
not want us to speak to them like the
not want us to speak to them like the guy in the picture with these fingers in
guy in the picture with these fingers in
guy in the picture with these fingers in his ears they have a vested interest in
people being quiet and accepting the
people being quiet and accepting the status quo now that might be in their
status quo now that might be in their
status quo now that might be in their interest it’s not in the majority
interest it’s not in the majority
interest it’s not in the majority interest okay I figured it out now
now while those benefits and things that
now while those benefits and things that I’ve talked about this that the cultural
I’ve talked about this that the cultural
I’ve talked about this that the cultural credit and the status exists but don’t
credit and the status exists but don’t
credit and the status exists but don’t make us invincible what they do is they
make us invincible what they do is they
make us invincible what they do is they tend to push us towards the front of
tend to push us towards the front of
tend to push us towards the front of things first in line the most likely to
things first in line the most likely to
things first in line the most likely to the the most probable to receive certain
the the most probable to receive certain
the the most probable to receive certain things it’s like having a kind of
things it’s like having a kind of
things it’s like having a kind of phenomenal global pass you know for the
phenomenal global pass you know for the
phenomenal global pass you know for the theme-park where you just go straight
theme-park where you just go straight
theme-park where you just go straight through to the front I kind of
through to the front I kind of
through to the front I kind of queue-jumping ticket so speak truth to
queue-jumping ticket so speak truth to
queue-jumping ticket so speak truth to power now the tricky thing with this is
power now the tricky thing with this is
power now the tricky thing with this is power could be external it could be a
power could be external it could be a
power could be external it could be a media mogul it could be the Prime
media mogul it could be the Prime
media mogul it could be the Prime Minister it could be a mayor it could be
Minister it could be a mayor it could be
Minister it could be a mayor it could be a gang boss it could be a sibling it
a gang boss it could be a sibling it
a gang boss it could be a sibling it could be anybody in your network who
could be anybody in your network who
could be anybody in your network who exerts power over you but also what we
exerts power over you but also what we
exerts power over you but also what we have to think about is power that we
have to think about is power that we
have to think about is power that we have ourselves and we have to be aware
have ourselves and we have to be aware
have ourselves and we have to be aware of the power we have and how sometimes
of the power we have and how sometimes
of the power we have and how sometimes that can ripple out badly to people in
that can ripple out badly to people in
that can ripple out badly to people in our sphere it was that with a few
our sphere it was that with a few
our sphere it was that with a few examples but first off can I say that I
examples but first off can I say that I
examples but first off can I say that I would say in this room there are a
would say in this room there are a
would say in this room there are a couple of hundred cultural detectives
couple of hundred cultural detectives
couple of hundred cultural detectives people who figure things out question
people who figure things out question
people who figure things out question askers researchers and change makers
askers researchers and change makers
askers researchers and change makers would you agree with that yeah wee bit
would you agree with that yeah wee bit
would you agree with that yeah wee bit conviction would you agree that you fit
conviction would you agree that you fit
conviction would you agree that you fit one of those categories brilliant now
one of those categories brilliant now
one of those categories brilliant now then who’s heard of that phrase yeah
then who’s heard of that phrase yeah
then who’s heard of that phrase yeah okay boys will be boys brilliant
okay boys will be boys brilliant
okay boys will be boys brilliant brilliant
brilliant
brilliant I’m pleased I’m already there that’s
I’m pleased I’m already there that’s
I’m pleased I’m already there that’s great it’s an excuse genius power and
great it’s an excuse genius power and
great it’s an excuse genius power and excuses are often found very very
excuses are often found very very
excuses are often found very very closely together we need to be aware of
closely together we need to be aware of
closely together we need to be aware of that bear that he might boys will be
that bear that he might boys will be
that bear that he might boys will be boys that spans lives from – grapes in
boys that spans lives from – grapes in
boys that spans lives from – grapes in the playground to adolescent
the playground to adolescent
the playground to adolescent misdemeanors – perhaps sometimes much
misdemeanors – perhaps sometimes much
misdemeanors – perhaps sometimes much more serious things
more serious things
more serious things as adults it’s a kind of mindset and
as adults it’s a kind of mindset and
as adults it’s a kind of mindset and it’s a ready-made excuse that lives out
it’s a ready-made excuse that lives out
it’s a ready-made excuse that lives out there in culture and can be called upon
there in culture and can be called upon
there in culture and can be called upon in hours of need and it can all be part
in hours of need and it can all be part
in hours of need and it can all be part of a world of excuses and that’s
of a world of excuses and that’s
of a world of excuses and that’s something is it really in our interest
something is it really in our interest
something is it really in our interest long-term I would say that boys will be
long-term I would say that boys will be
long-term I would say that boys will be boys limits our humanity by limiting my
boys limits our humanity by limiting my
boys limits our humanity by limiting my accountability and that the greater the
accountability and that the greater the
accountability and that the greater the accountability we have the more fully we
accountability we have the more fully we
accountability we have the more fully we can be human I don’t want to live in a
can be human I don’t want to live in a
can be human I don’t want to live in a society that excuses my behavior or my
society that excuses my behavior or my
society that excuses my behavior or my son’s or my nephew’s because we are boys
son’s or my nephew’s because we are boys
son’s or my nephew’s because we are boys or men and with dad I think I’ve just
or men and with dad I think I’ve just
or men and with dad I think I’ve just probably let the cat out of the bag with
probably let the cat out of the bag with
probably let the cat out of the bag with that I’ve got a boy in a girl and I’ve
that I’ve got a boy in a girl and I’ve
that I’ve got a boy in a girl and I’ve got five nephews sometimes and it’s not
got five nephews sometimes and it’s not
got five nephews sometimes and it’s not easy it’s a tough job it’s not glamorous
easy it’s a tough job it’s not glamorous
easy it’s a tough job it’s not glamorous it’s not fun it is fun sorry edit that
it’s not fun it is fun sorry edit that
it’s not fun it is fun sorry edit that no it is fun it’s always fun it’s
no it is fun it’s always fun it’s
no it is fun it’s always fun it’s definitely not glamorous so yeah
definitely not glamorous so yeah
definitely not glamorous so yeah but sometimes we get a lot of credit we
but sometimes we get a lot of credit we
but sometimes we get a lot of credit we get a lot of praise as men for doing the
get a lot of praise as men for doing the
get a lot of praise as men for doing the basics just for being there just with
basics just for being there just with
basics just for being there just with cooking the odd meal just for sweeping
cooking the odd meal just for sweeping
cooking the odd meal just for sweeping up now and then is that ring about with
up now and then is that ring about with
up now and then is that ring about with anybody I don’t know if anybody yeah
anybody I don’t know if anybody yeah
anybody I don’t know if anybody yeah okay I’m not opening any cans of worms
okay I’m not opening any cans of worms
okay I’m not opening any cans of worms in I’ve been given praise for doing
in I’ve been given praise for doing
in I’ve been given praise for doing stuff that I would consider they
stuff that I would consider they
stuff that I would consider they absolute basics and that isn’t okay
absolute basics and that isn’t okay
absolute basics and that isn’t okay right okay dads cannot babysit for their
right okay dads cannot babysit for their
right okay dads cannot babysit for their own kids in fact
I’ve never been told to smile by
I’ve never been told to smile by strangers in public I’ve never had
strangers in public I’ve never had
strangers in public I’ve never had comments made to me about my legs or my
comments made to me about my legs or my
comments made to me about my legs or my hair or my hips my backside or anything
hair or my hips my backside or anything
hair or my hips my backside or anything never and I’m nearly 50 what happens
never and I’m nearly 50 what happens
never and I’m nearly 50 what happens here a great group holla back have a
here a great group holla back have a
here a great group holla back have a look at them hecho Double L a B ACK
look at them hecho Double L a B ACK
look at them hecho Double L a B ACK holla back they did research with 17,000
holla back they did research with 17,000
holla back they did research with 17,000 women in 22 countries 50% of whom had
women in 22 countries 50% of whom had
women in 22 countries 50% of whom had been fondled or groped before the age of
been fondled or groped before the age of
been fondled or groped before the age of 17 I believe staggering now that’s about
17 I believe staggering now that’s about
17 I believe staggering now that’s about all those men dominating space and
all those men dominating space and
all those men dominating space and feeling entitled to dominate space it’s
feeling entitled to dominate space it’s
feeling entitled to dominate space it’s a really public space if we dominate it
a really public space if we dominate it
a really public space if we dominate it that’s an interesting question I’m
that’s an interesting question I’m
that’s an interesting question I’m asking loads of questions and I’m giving
asking loads of questions and I’m giving
asking loads of questions and I’m giving no answers
no answers
no answers I just think take all other questions
reality is pretty stark at times if
reality is pretty stark at times if somebody asks me for a day and I say no
somebody asks me for a day and I say no
somebody asks me for a day and I say no I would not expect in my wildest dreams
I would not expect in my wildest dreams
I would not expect in my wildest dreams to be kind of a subjective violence or
to be kind of a subjective violence or
to be kind of a subjective violence or harassment as a result of that but that
harassment as a result of that but that
harassment as a result of that but that unfortunately is not the case for some
unfortunately is not the case for some
unfortunately is not the case for some women quite a few women and we need to
women quite a few women and we need to
women quite a few women and we need to ask ourselves why that is what is that
ask ourselves why that is what is that
ask ourselves why that is what is that sense of entitlement and where does it
sense of entitlement and where does it
sense of entitlement and where does it come from
come from
come from okay part of this hugely complex parcel
okay part of this hugely complex parcel
okay part of this hugely complex parcel is double standards and hypocrisy he’s a
is double standards and hypocrisy he’s a
is double standards and hypocrisy he’s a player
player
player Chisa the language is entirely different
Chisa the language is entirely different
Chisa the language is entirely different and there are many many many more ways
and there are many many many more ways
and there are many many many more ways to describe
to describe
to describe sexually active and sexually autonomous
sexually active and sexually autonomous
sexually active and sexually autonomous women and there are four men and they
women and there are four men and they
women and there are four men and they tend to be denigrating
tend to be denigrating
tend to be denigrating whereas for men they tend to be praised
whereas for men they tend to be praised
whereas for men they tend to be praised we need to look at that because that is
we need to look at that because that is
we need to look at that because that is broken
a few pictures of power before I swiftly
a few pictures of power before I swiftly move on this is what power looks like
move on this is what power looks like
move on this is what power looks like generally speaking on the global level I
generally speaking on the global level I
generally speaking on the global level I was meeting for women’s rights inside
was meeting for women’s rights inside
was meeting for women’s rights inside your OB birthday cards I think I’ll be
your OB birthday cards I think I’ll be
your OB birthday cards I think I’ll be one more minute birthday cards okay as a
one more minute birthday cards okay as a
one more minute birthday cards okay as a daddy tensor or an auntie or uncle or
daddy tensor or an auntie or uncle or
daddy tensor or an auntie or uncle or whatever you represent you buy lots of
whatever you represent you buy lots of
whatever you represent you buy lots of birthday cards for your kids and for
birthday cards for your kids and for
birthday cards for your kids and for their friends now I did some research
their friends now I did some research
their friends now I did some research but he had done t-shirts and hoodies and
but he had done t-shirts and hoodies and
but he had done t-shirts and hoodies and all kinds of stuff I did some research
all kinds of stuff I did some research
all kinds of stuff I did some research I’ll click through it I don’t want to
I’ll click through it I don’t want to
I’ll click through it I don’t want to rush in tile if I won’t be more than a
rush in tile if I won’t be more than a
rush in tile if I won’t be more than a minute that I don’t want to be like for
minute that I don’t want to be like for
minute that I don’t want to be like for the others if you go out check out
the others if you go out check out
the others if you go out check out birthday cards check out the messages on
birthday cards check out the messages on
birthday cards check out the messages on them because hidden in there these all
them because hidden in there these all
them because hidden in there these all kinds of wrong I would say very simply I
kinds of wrong I would say very simply I
kinds of wrong I would say very simply I checked out one major UK retailer and I
checked out one major UK retailer and I
checked out one major UK retailer and I looked in the cards for him section
looked in the cards for him section
looked in the cards for him section there were zero cards zero which
there were zero cards zero which
there were zero cards zero which mentioned friendship which we all agreed
mentioned friendship which we all agreed
mentioned friendship which we all agreed was vital for human happiness zero nil
was vital for human happiness zero nil
was vital for human happiness zero nil in the cards for her section they were
in the cards for her section they were
in the cards for her section they were multiple special friend friends like you
multiple special friend friends like you
multiple special friend friends like you were rare and few I love you thank you
were rare and few I love you thank you
were rare and few I love you thank you for being my friend
for being my friend
for being my friend all kinds of stuff so we’ve got a taboo
all kinds of stuff so we’ve got a taboo
all kinds of stuff so we’ve got a taboo on male friendship openly expressed and
on male friendship openly expressed and
on male friendship openly expressed and we have an overemphasis on women’s
we have an overemphasis on women’s
we have an overemphasis on women’s emotional labour it’s almost its
emotional labour it’s almost its
emotional labour it’s almost its permission but it’s almost an
permission but it’s almost an
permission but it’s almost an instruction you do the emotional work
instruction you do the emotional work
instruction you do the emotional work don’t use those words near me now the
don’t use those words near me now the
don’t use those words near me now the word love the most important word in the
word love the most important word in the
word love the most important word in the world probably I think on a par with
world probably I think on a par with
world probably I think on a par with oxygen and water apart from the
oxygen and water apart from the
oxygen and water apart from the ghastliness of that but that’s real
ghastliness of that but that’s real
ghastliness of that but that’s real that’s on sale
that’s on sale
that’s on sale those things are on sale it real
those things are on sale it real
I’ll finish on this one I did some more
I’ll finish on this one I did some more research on clothing messages for boys
research on clothing messages for boys
research on clothing messages for boys and girls aged I think it was 18 months
and girls aged I think it was 18 months
and girls aged I think it was 18 months to 12 years the boys were captains
to 12 years the boys were captains
to 12 years the boys were captains champions winners and adventurers and
champions winners and adventurers and
champions winners and adventurers and they did stuff and they found stuff and
they did stuff and they found stuff and
they did stuff and they found stuff and they won stuff and the girls tion and
they won stuff and the girls tion and
they won stuff and the girls tion and sparkled and smiled lots of the girls
sparkled and smiled lots of the girls
sparkled and smiled lots of the girls meowed like kittens it seems that they
meowed like kittens it seems that they
meowed like kittens it seems that they were kitten people who wanted a pony and
were kitten people who wanted a pony and
were kitten people who wanted a pony and who loved their friends there were none
who loved their friends there were none
who loved their friends there were none this is one major retail of clothing
this is one major retail of clothing
this is one major retail of clothing there were no messages at all about
there were no messages at all about
there were no messages at all about emotion of the boys they don’t exist
emotion of the boys they don’t exist
emotion of the boys they don’t exist check it out please find exceptions
check it out please find exceptions
check it out please find exceptions that’s great that’s a sign of hope the
that’s great that’s a sign of hope the
that’s great that’s a sign of hope the problem is that hidden in plain sight in
problem is that hidden in plain sight in
problem is that hidden in plain sight in our daily life in our shops and our
our daily life in our shops and our
our daily life in our shops and our supermarkets online is an incredible
supermarkets online is an incredible
supermarkets online is an incredible amount of work to categorize boys to
amount of work to categorize boys to
amount of work to categorize boys to believe that it’s okay to be one way and
believe that it’s okay to be one way and
believe that it’s okay to be one way and similarly to instruct girls how to
similarly to instruct girls how to
similarly to instruct girls how to perform and it’s often for the pleasure
perform and it’s often for the pleasure
perform and it’s often for the pleasure of boys visually that doesn’t seem to
of boys visually that doesn’t seem to
of boys visually that doesn’t seem to work I don’t think that’s in anybody’s
work I don’t think that’s in anybody’s
work I don’t think that’s in anybody’s interests so I just like to leave you
interests so I just like to leave you
interests so I just like to leave you with those thoughts and thank you very
with those thoughts and thank you very
with those thoughts and thank you very much for being for being here
much for being for being here
much for being for being here [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
Be First to Comment