Press "Enter" to skip to content

Falling Like A Pro | Matthew Struthers | TEDxBerkleeValencia


[Applause]

[Applause] Wow

Wow I haven’t even started yet Wow

Wow I haven’t even started yet Wow hello everyone before I do get started I

hello everyone before I do get started I

hello everyone before I do get started I wanted to address the elephant in the

wanted to address the elephant in the

wanted to address the elephant in the room I know what a lot of you may have

room I know what a lot of you may have

room I know what a lot of you may have been thinking when you saw me walk

been thinking when you saw me walk

been thinking when you saw me walk across the stage and it’s fine I get it

across the stage and it’s fine I get it

across the stage and it’s fine I get it all the time uh so here it is no I’m not

all the time uh so here it is no I’m not

all the time uh so here it is no I’m not single sorry sorry sorry

single sorry sorry sorry

single sorry sorry sorry [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] Wow no I’m glad we I’m glad we got that

Wow no I’m glad we I’m glad we got that

Wow no I’m glad we I’m glad we got that one off our chest all right now we can

one off our chest all right now we can

one off our chest all right now we can now we can get gone right now what you

now we can get gone right now what you

now we can get gone right now what you may not have noticed is I have a

may not have noticed is I have a

may not have noticed is I have a physical disability called cerebral

physical disability called cerebral

physical disability called cerebral palsy for those of you who do not know

palsy for those of you who do not know

palsy for those of you who do not know what that is cerebral palsy is a

what that is cerebral palsy is a

what that is cerebral palsy is a condition that is marked by impaired

condition that is marked by impaired

condition that is marked by impaired muscle coordination and/or other

muscle coordination and/or other

muscle coordination and/or other disabilities typically caused by brain

disabilities typically caused by brain

disabilities typically caused by brain damage before or at birth thankfully for

damage before or at birth thankfully for

damage before or at birth thankfully for me it really only affects my right leg

me it really only affects my right leg

me it really only affects my right leg so when I was 22 months old my parents

so when I was 22 months old my parents

so when I was 22 months old my parents took me to the doctor to find out why

took me to the doctor to find out why

took me to the doctor to find out why this wasn’t happening like why you know

this wasn’t happening like why you know

this wasn’t happening like why you know I I’m not the oldest in the family and

I I’m not the oldest in the family and

I I’m not the oldest in the family and they wanted to know why and the doctor

they wanted to know why and the doctor

they wanted to know why and the doctor examined me and said oh your son has CP

examined me and said oh your son has CP

examined me and said oh your son has CP oh sorry um CP is is this missing

oh sorry um CP is is this missing

oh sorry um CP is is this missing explained that he explained the

explained that he explained the

explained that he explained the condition and then he basically told my

condition and then he basically told my

condition and then he basically told my parents that I would never run I would

parents that I would never run I would

parents that I would never run I would never walk jump swim climb ride a bike

never walk jump swim climb ride a bike

never walk jump swim climb ride a bike name it basically anything physically

name it basically anything physically

name it basically anything physically fun so my parents were shocked at this

fun so my parents were shocked at this

fun so my parents were shocked at this news that they now have a son with a

news that they now have a son with a

news that they now have a son with a disability this is going to be a new

disability this is going to be a new

disability this is going to be a new challenge for the family right but as

challenge for the family right but as

challenge for the family right but as they got on the elevator to leave the

they got on the elevator to leave the

they got on the elevator to leave the office my dad turns to my mom and he

office my dad turns to my mom and he

office my dad turns to my mom and he says no my son will do all of those

says no my son will do all of those

says no my son will do all of those things and I have seven surgeries later

things and I have seven surgeries later

things and I have seven surgeries later I can run I can walk I can jump swim

I can run I can walk I can jump swim

I can run I can walk I can jump swim climb I can even ride a bike for about

climb I can even ride a bike for about

climb I can even ride a bike for about ten seconds before it all just kind of

ten seconds before it all just kind of

ten seconds before it all just kind of goes

goes

goes right but I I don’t want to make it

right but I I don’t want to make it

right but I I don’t want to make it sound like it’s a walk in the park it’s

sound like it’s a walk in the park it’s

sound like it’s a walk in the park it’s been really hard I fall over all of the

been really hard I fall over all of the

been really hard I fall over all of the time ten years ago I was falling several

time ten years ago I was falling several

time ten years ago I was falling several times a day now I fall maybe two to

times a day now I fall maybe two to

times a day now I fall maybe two to three times a week my grandpa taught me

three times a week my grandpa taught me

three times a week my grandpa taught me a very important lesson he would always

a very important lesson he would always

a very important lesson he would always tell me when I was little he’d say

tell me when I was little he’d say

tell me when I was little he’d say Matthew your disability is just a

Matthew your disability is just a

Matthew your disability is just a nuisance your CP is just a nuisance

nuisance your CP is just a nuisance

nuisance your CP is just a nuisance that’s all it is sudden he’d say and

that’s all it is sudden he’d say and

that’s all it is sudden he’d say and he’d put me in a headlock and he dig his

he’d put me in a headlock and he dig his

he’d put me in a headlock and he dig his tooth to my forehead he teased me just

tooth to my forehead he teased me just

tooth to my forehead he teased me just like grandpa’s tease your grandchildren

like grandpa’s tease your grandchildren

like grandpa’s tease your grandchildren me just like every one of the other

me just like every one of the other

me just like every one of the other grandchildren in the family the impact

grandchildren in the family the impact

grandchildren in the family the impact of that sentence on my life is

of that sentence on my life is

of that sentence on my life is indescribable what my parents and my

indescribable what my parents and my

indescribable what my parents and my grandpa were trying to teach me was that

grandpa were trying to teach me was that

grandpa were trying to teach me was that CP for me was a nuisance but it wasn’t

CP for me was a nuisance but it wasn’t

CP for me was a nuisance but it wasn’t me it wasn’t a part of my character my

me it wasn’t a part of my character my

me it wasn’t a part of my character my personality or who I fundamentally was

personality or who I fundamentally was

personality or who I fundamentally was it didn’t get to dictate outcomes it was

it didn’t get to dictate outcomes it was

it didn’t get to dictate outcomes it was simply the context within which I’d of

simply the context within which I’d of

simply the context within which I’d of my life so here’s my question how many

my life so here’s my question how many

my life so here’s my question how many of us have our own disabilities we’ll

of us have our own disabilities we’ll

of us have our own disabilities we’ll call them that we consider as part of

call them that we consider as part of

call them that we consider as part of our character let’s remind ourselves the

our character let’s remind ourselves the

our character let’s remind ourselves the definition of a disability a physical or

definition of a disability a physical or

definition of a disability a physical or mental condition that limits one’s

mental condition that limits one’s

mental condition that limits one’s movements senses or activities so that

movements senses or activities so that

movements senses or activities so that condition or that disability could just

condition or that disability could just

condition or that disability could just as easily be the belief that you don’t

as easily be the belief that you don’t

as easily be the belief that you don’t think you’re good enough maybe you come

think you’re good enough maybe you come

think you’re good enough maybe you come from a broken family maybe you didn’t

from a broken family maybe you didn’t

from a broken family maybe you didn’t have the same opportunities as somebody

have the same opportunities as somebody

have the same opportunities as somebody else whatever it is how have you allowed

else whatever it is how have you allowed

else whatever it is how have you allowed that disability to become a part of your

that disability to become a part of your

that disability to become a part of your character and more importantly how have

character and more importantly how have

character and more importantly how have you allowed that disability to inhibit

you allowed that disability to inhibit

you allowed that disability to inhibit what you really want to get out of life

so when we separate these obstacles or

so when we separate these obstacles or these challenges from our character and

these challenges from our character and

these challenges from our character and we consider them as nuisances we allow

we consider them as nuisances we allow

we consider them as nuisances we allow ourselves to see more clearly who we

ourselves to see more clearly who we

ourselves to see more clearly who we really are and that lets us dictate the

really are and that lets us dictate the

really are and that lets us dictate the outcome not the disability so here are

outcome not the disability so here are

outcome not the disability so here are some things that I’ve thought of that

some things that I’ve thought of that

some things that I’ve thought of that have helped me to do too

have helped me to do too

have helped me to do too separate the disability from my

separate the disability from my

separate the disability from my character and move forward

character and move forward

character and move forward the first is whenever I’m tempted to not

the first is whenever I’m tempted to not

the first is whenever I’m tempted to not do something because I don’t think I’m

do something because I don’t think I’m

do something because I don’t think I’m capable I have to ask myself Matthew how

capable I have to ask myself Matthew how

capable I have to ask myself Matthew how much of this is the CP talking versus

much of this is the CP talking versus

much of this is the CP talking versus just you how much of this is about fear

just you how much of this is about fear

just you how much of this is about fear uncertainty and doubt basically if it’s

uncertainty and doubt basically if it’s

uncertainty and doubt basically if it’s not about my right leg that I’m forced

not about my right leg that I’m forced

not about my right leg that I’m forced to face up to the fact that the reason

to face up to the fact that the reason

to face up to the fact that the reason that I’m not moving forward is because

that I’m not moving forward is because

that I’m not moving forward is because of me and that that self honesty that’s

of me and that that self honesty that’s

of me and that that self honesty that’s not easy and let’s face it I have a

not easy and let’s face it I have a

not easy and let’s face it I have a grade-a excuse to get out of pretty much

grade-a excuse to get out of pretty much

grade-a excuse to get out of pretty much anything even the dishes if I want just

anything even the dishes if I want just

anything even the dishes if I want just kidding no but you see I don’t allow

kidding no but you see I don’t allow

kidding no but you see I don’t allow myself to use that because it’s the easy

myself to use that because it’s the easy

myself to use that because it’s the easy way out and it’s that it’s that decency

way out and it’s that it’s that decency

way out and it’s that it’s that decency that that not a decency that honesty

that that not a decency that honesty

that that not a decency that honesty that have allowed me to move forward

that have allowed me to move forward

that have allowed me to move forward that lets me live such a happy life we

that lets me live such a happy life we

that lets me live such a happy life we all remember the power of looking under

all remember the power of looking under

all remember the power of looking under the bed to find there were no monsters

the bed to find there were no monsters

the bed to find there were no monsters it’s the same logic go look your monster

it’s the same logic go look your monster

it’s the same logic go look your monster in the face the second thing is about

in the face the second thing is about

in the face the second thing is about being able to separate your to extend

being able to separate your to extend

being able to separate your to extend the superpower vision beyond yourself

the superpower vision beyond yourself

the superpower vision beyond yourself and recognize when other people have

and recognize when other people have

and recognize when other people have determined that your disability is part

determined that your disability is part

determined that your disability is part of who you are this is what my parents

of who you are this is what my parents

of who you are this is what my parents did when the doctor said he’ll never do

did when the doctor said he’ll never do

did when the doctor said he’ll never do this he’ll never do that they separated

this he’ll never do that they separated

this he’ll never do that they separated the doctors opinions of my disability

the doctors opinions of my disability

the doctors opinions of my disability versus who I fundamentally was so you

versus who I fundamentally was so you

versus who I fundamentally was so you can see throughout my life I’ve been

can see throughout my life I’ve been

can see throughout my life I’ve been told I could never do something and yeah

told I could never do something and yeah

told I could never do something and yeah sure that’s one outcome but that’s all

sure that’s one outcome but that’s all

sure that’s one outcome but that’s all it is just one outcome there’s so many

it is just one outcome there’s so many

it is just one outcome there’s so many other alternatives remember when you’d

other alternatives remember when you’d

other alternatives remember when you’d associate the disability from who you

associate the disability from who you

associate the disability from who you are you dictate the outcomes so you can

are you dictate the outcomes so you can

are you dictate the outcomes so you can kind of use this as a fuel to prove

kind of use this as a fuel to prove

kind of use this as a fuel to prove other people but more importantly prove

other people but more importantly prove

other people but more importantly prove yourself wrong

yourself wrong

yourself wrong sure it’s easy to give in it’s tempting

sure it’s easy to give in it’s tempting

sure it’s easy to give in it’s tempting to want to just say oh I can’t do this

to want to just say oh I can’t do this

to want to just say oh I can’t do this but that lets the disability win before

but that lets the disability win before

but that lets the disability win before the fight even starts ask that question

the fight even starts ask that question

the fight even starts ask that question in your own life how much of me not

in your own life how much of me not

in your own life how much of me not moving forward is because of X reason

moving forward is because of X reason

moving forward is because of X reason versus me just being afraid right

versus me just being afraid right

versus me just being afraid right remember the monster under the bed so

remember the monster under the bed so

remember the monster under the bed so now if you follow my points one and two

now if you follow my points one and two

now if you follow my points one and two you separate yourself from your

you separate yourself from your

you separate yourself from your disability and you separate other

disability and you separate other

disability and you separate other people’s opinions about you as well

people’s opinions about you as well

people’s opinions about you as well guess what you’re gonna fail ha no you

guess what you’re gonna fail ha no you

guess what you’re gonna fail ha no you aren’t expecting that were you

aren’t expecting that were you

aren’t expecting that were you but I mean I’m not I’m not selling you a

but I mean I’m not I’m not selling you a

but I mean I’m not I’m not selling you a fairy tale here and I don’t mean you’re

fairy tale here and I don’t mean you’re

fairy tale here and I don’t mean you’re going to fail completely I just mean

going to fail completely I just mean

going to fail completely I just mean maybe the first couple of times

maybe the first couple of times

maybe the first couple of times hopefully followed by some success may

hopefully followed by some success may

hopefully followed by some success may be a great story for the grandchildren

be a great story for the grandchildren

be a great story for the grandchildren maybe a lesson learned it’s important I

maybe a lesson learned it’s important I

maybe a lesson learned it’s important I manage your expectations here I’ve

manage your expectations here I’ve

manage your expectations here I’ve fallen a lot I know you’re not you’re

fallen a lot I know you’re not you’re

fallen a lot I know you’re not you’re not just going to go out and get all

not just going to go out and get all

not just going to go out and get all this success

this success

this success I can promise you a couple of practice

I can promise you a couple of practice

I can promise you a couple of practice runs and then hopefully some success so

runs and then hopefully some success so

runs and then hopefully some success so I mentioned I noticed because I fail a

I mentioned I noticed because I fail a

I mentioned I noticed because I fail a ton that’s because I have and there’s no

ton that’s because I have and there’s no

ton that’s because I have and there’s no greater parallel to failing in life than

greater parallel to failing in life than

greater parallel to failing in life than actually falling down I mean physically

actually falling down I mean physically

actually falling down I mean physically falling down see the reality is when

falling down see the reality is when

falling down see the reality is when somebody with CP we fall all the time

somebody with CP we fall all the time

somebody with CP we fall all the time unless you’re in a wheelchair and we get

unless you’re in a wheelchair and we get

unless you’re in a wheelchair and we get really good at it

really good at it

really good at it but when you take an able body adult we

but when you take an able body adult we

but when you take an able body adult we fall over our natural instinct is to get

fall over our natural instinct is to get

fall over our natural instinct is to get up as quick as we can and oh that didn’t

up as quick as we can and oh that didn’t

up as quick as we can and oh that didn’t happen

happen

happen why do we do that usually it’s shame its

why do we do that usually it’s shame its

why do we do that usually it’s shame its embarrassment because we’re expecting

embarrassment because we’re expecting

embarrassment because we’re expecting we’re not supposed to fall over anymore

we’re not supposed to fall over anymore

we’re not supposed to fall over anymore we’re grown adults and that’s our

we’re grown adults and that’s our

we’re grown adults and that’s our problem is our expectation is just that

problem is our expectation is just that

problem is our expectation is just that but when you take somebody with CP the

but when you take somebody with CP the

but when you take somebody with CP the expectation is the opposite we fall all

expectation is the opposite we fall all

expectation is the opposite we fall all the time and guess what we’re really

the time and guess what we’re really

the time and guess what we’re really good at it we follow her like pros an

good at it we follow her like pros an

good at it we follow her like pros an example of this an example of this is

example of this an example of this is

example of this an example of this is when I’m holding my 10 month old niece

when I’m holding my 10 month old niece

when I’m holding my 10 month old niece with both hands K without my arms I’m

with both hands K without my arms I’m

with both hands K without my arms I’m very vulnerable to falling over okay

very vulnerable to falling over okay

very vulnerable to falling over okay there’s all these other children running

there’s all these other children running

there’s all these other children running throughout the house and I’m recognizing

throughout the house and I’m recognizing

throughout the house and I’m recognizing that it’s only a matter of time before

that it’s only a matter of time before

that it’s only a matter of time before the nieces and nephews decide they want

the nieces and nephews decide they want

the nieces and nephews decide they want to tackle the uncle and so I decide you

to tackle the uncle and so I decide you

to tackle the uncle and so I decide you know what I’m recognizing these are

know what I’m recognizing these are

know what I’m recognizing these are signs that I might fall over so I’m

signs that I might fall over so I’m

signs that I might fall over so I’m going to stand close to my my wife and

going to stand close to my my wife and

going to stand close to my my wife and if I’ve not when I’ve not if I fall over

if I’ve not when I’ve not if I fall over

if I’ve not when I’ve not if I fall over when I fall over I’m gonna pass this

when I fall over I’m gonna pass this

when I fall over I’m gonna pass this child right off and guess what that’s

child right off and guess what that’s

child right off and guess what that’s exactly what happened I was able to

exactly what happened I was able to

exactly what happened I was able to pretty much predict and plan that I was

pretty much predict and plan that I was

pretty much predict and plan that I was going to fall and I embraced it we can

going to fall and I embraced it we can

going to fall and I embraced it we can do this exact same thing when we fail in

do this exact same thing when we fail in

do this exact same thing when we fail in life embrace it it’s that simple just

life embrace it it’s that simple just

life embrace it it’s that simple just embrace it sure get upset if it helps

embrace it sure get upset if it helps

embrace it sure get upset if it helps get upset but here’s my top tip give

get upset but here’s my top tip give

get upset but here’s my top tip give yourself anywhere from 10 minutes to two

yourself anywhere from 10 minutes to two

yourself anywhere from 10 minutes to two days however long you want to give

days however long you want to give

days however long you want to give yourself a time limit to be upset

yourself a time limit to be upset

yourself a time limit to be upset go binge watch Netflix eat your favorite

go binge watch Netflix eat your favorite

go binge watch Netflix eat your favorite ice cream but after that time is up move

ice cream but after that time is up move

ice cream but after that time is up move on you see you can almost start to get

on you see you can almost start to get

on you see you can almost start to get more comfortable with this idea of

more comfortable with this idea of

more comfortable with this idea of failure the more it happens and you can

failure the more it happens and you can

failure the more it happens and you can almost start to plan for it it’s kind of

almost start to plan for it it’s kind of

almost start to plan for it it’s kind of a weird logic right but what’s your plan

a weird logic right but what’s your plan

a weird logic right but what’s your plan for when you fail I’m not talking about

for when you fail I’m not talking about

for when you fail I’m not talking about your plan B I’m talking about your plan

your plan B I’m talking about your plan

your plan B I’m talking about your plan your plan is how you are going to fail

your plan is how you are going to fail

your plan is how you are going to fail with grace AB recent mentor of mine put

with grace AB recent mentor of mine put

with grace AB recent mentor of mine put it this way if I have a fallback plan it

it this way if I have a fallback plan it

it this way if I have a fallback plan it means I’m going to

we expect to fail it becomes a lot

we expect to fail it becomes a lot easier to embrace when it knocks on our

easier to embrace when it knocks on our

easier to embrace when it knocks on our front door our fears our inhibitions and

front door our fears our inhibitions and

front door our fears our inhibitions and our doubts they do not dictate the

our doubts they do not dictate the

our doubts they do not dictate the outcome they do not dictate who we are

outcome they do not dictate who we are

outcome they do not dictate who we are we do maybe you’re just afraid you’re

we do maybe you’re just afraid you’re

we do maybe you’re just afraid you’re actually going to succeed I don’t know

actually going to succeed I don’t know

actually going to succeed I don’t know but what I do know is that you paint the

but what I do know is that you paint the

but what I do know is that you paint the picture of who you are not anybody else

picture of who you are not anybody else

picture of who you are not anybody else I’m going to leave you with this when we

I’m going to leave you with this when we

I’m going to leave you with this when we determine how we are going to fall with

determine how we are going to fall with

determine how we are going to fall with grace and we choose how we want to hit

grace and we choose how we want to hit

grace and we choose how we want to hit the ground you may actually find that

the ground you may actually find that

the ground you may actually find that the view from the landing is a far

the view from the landing is a far

the view from the landing is a far better view than the one from which you

better view than the one from which you

better view than the one from which you are standing thank

”

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *