Fail Fast, Fail Often | Michelle Mbaya | TEDxYouth@BrookhouseSchool

I want to share a notion with you all

I want to share a notion with you all here today and that notion is that your

here today and that notion is that your

here today and that notion is that your best life the version where you see

best life the version where you see

best life the version where you see yourself living successfully in terms of

yourself living successfully in terms of

yourself living successfully in terms of health wealth love is on the other side

health wealth love is on the other side

health wealth love is on the other side of failure I’m gonna explain why in a

of failure I’m gonna explain why in a

of failure I’m gonna explain why in a second I’m an actor I act for a living

second I’m an actor I act for a living

second I’m an actor I act for a living that’s how I make my money and I wasn’t

that’s how I make my money and I wasn’t

that’s how I make my money and I wasn’t very proud to say this a very long time

very proud to say this a very long time

very proud to say this a very long time ago in fact it got so bad that sometimes

ago in fact it got so bad that sometimes

ago in fact it got so bad that sometimes my parents friends would come over and

my parents friends would come over and

my parents friends would come over and they’d ask me so what do you want to do

they’d ask me so what do you want to do

they’d ask me so what do you want to do when you finish school and I would say

when you finish school and I would say

when you finish school and I would say something to do with politics and acting

something to do with politics and acting

something to do with politics and acting and it disheartened me when they all

and it disheartened me when they all

and it disheartened me when they all were receptive to the political part and

were receptive to the political part and

were receptive to the political part and completely disregarded the acting part

completely disregarded the acting part

completely disregarded the acting part and said oh you have a politician in the

and said oh you have a politician in the

and said oh you have a politician in the family good for you guys it did nothing

family good for you guys it did nothing

family good for you guys it did nothing for my confidence I moved around schools

for my confidence I moved around schools

for my confidence I moved around schools a lot I went from an 8 for 4 system to

a lot I went from an 8 for 4 system to

a lot I went from an 8 for 4 system to an American international system to a

an American international system to a

an American international system to a British system to again another British

British system to again another British

British system to again another British system school with a different school

system school with a different school

system school with a different school year and through all that moving I felt

year and through all that moving I felt

year and through all that moving I felt like I lost my place I was doing a lot

like I lost my place I was doing a lot

like I lost my place I was doing a lot of catching up I worked really really

of catching up I worked really really

of catching up I worked really really hard at being average I would move to a

hard at being average I would move to a

hard at being average I would move to a new school and the curriculum I had

new school and the curriculum I had

new school and the curriculum I had learned in previous school was

learned in previous school was

learned in previous school was irrelevant they were learning things in

irrelevant they were learning things in

irrelevant they were learning things in a different way and I completely didn’t

a different way and I completely didn’t

a different way and I completely didn’t understand and I was always catching up

understand and I was always catching up

understand and I was always catching up that was my story so my parents I went

that was my story so my parents I went

that was my story so my parents I went to boarding school I would go home and

to boarding school I would go home and

to boarding school I would go home and they would say so what are your grades

they would say so what are your grades

they would say so what are your grades let’s see your grades and I they would

let’s see your grades and I they would

let’s see your grades and I they would see a sea of be letters on a piece of

see a sea of be letters on a piece of

see a sea of be letters on a piece of paper letters that didn’t reflect how

paper letters that didn’t reflect how

paper letters that didn’t reflect how much effort I thought I put I would put

much effort I thought I put I would put

much effort I thought I put I would put I would see a sea and I thought I put a

I would see a sea and I thought I put a

I would see a sea and I thought I put a plus effort to get that sea so with all

plus effort to get that sea so with all

plus effort to get that sea so with all that moving around school became about

that moving around school became about

that moving around school became about social survival for me

social survival for me

social survival for me you’re growing through puberty you know

you’re growing through puberty you know

you’re growing through puberty you know you like boys and and the popular girls

you like boys and and the popular girls

you like boys and and the popular girls the nerdy girls the losers the it was

the nerdy girls the losers the it was

the nerdy girls the losers the it was just a social survival mess for me and

just a social survival mess for me and

just a social survival mess for me and that was my experience so studying fell

that was my experience so studying fell

that was my experience so studying fell short when he came to academics I didn’t

short when he came to academics I didn’t

short when he came to academics I didn’t do so well fast forward to my a-levels

do so well fast forward to my a-levels

do so well fast forward to my a-levels I came here to Bourke house and I ran

I came here to Bourke house and I ran

I came here to Bourke house and I ran for house captain reluctantly and I was

for house captain reluctantly and I was

for house captain reluctantly and I was nominated and that sort of started my

nominated and that sort of started my

nominated and that sort of started my leadership journey the journey where I

leadership journey the journey where I

leadership journey the journey where I thought oh actually I do have something

thought oh actually I do have something

thought oh actually I do have something to bring to the table so I was living in

to bring to the table so I was living in

to bring to the table so I was living in this weird ironic place where I was

this weird ironic place where I was

this weird ironic place where I was succeeding in terms of leadership and I

succeeding in terms of leadership and I

succeeding in terms of leadership and I was house captain and I was doing round

was house captain and I was doing round

was house captain and I was doing round square and I was failing academically I

square and I was failing academically I

square and I was failing academically I realised I had a really bad problem with

realised I had a really bad problem with

realised I had a really bad problem with failure when I went to see a guidance

failure when I went to see a guidance

failure when I went to see a guidance counselor at one of the schools that I

counselor at one of the schools that I

counselor at one of the schools that I went to and she told me she I entered

went to and she told me she I entered

went to and she told me she I entered her office and she told me how are you I

her office and she told me how are you I

her office and she told me how are you I said I’m good

said I’m good

said I’m good and she said what brings you here today

and she said what brings you here today

and she said what brings you here today I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a

I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a

I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a guidance counselor’s office but they’re

guidance counselor’s office but they’re

guidance counselor’s office but they’re often there’s tone is very somber and I

often there’s tone is very somber and I

often there’s tone is very somber and I said I just failed a math test and I

said I just failed a math test and I

said I just failed a math test and I don’t know I just feel like I’m failing

don’t know I just feel like I’m failing

don’t know I just feel like I’m failing and I started telling her my life story

and I started telling her my life story

and I started telling her my life story and I completely started crying and I

and I completely started crying and I

and I completely started crying and I said I’m feeling so much pressure to

said I’m feeling so much pressure to

said I’m feeling so much pressure to succeed and do well and it’s not like

succeed and do well and it’s not like

succeed and do well and it’s not like I’m not trying but there was a

I’m not trying but there was a

I’m not trying but there was a disconnect between what I would bring

disconnect between what I would bring

disconnect between what I would bring home and the way that I came home so my

home and the way that I came home so my

home and the way that I came home so my parents would see one thing I felt a

parents would see one thing I felt a

parents would see one thing I felt a different thing so failure every time I

different thing so failure every time I

different thing so failure every time I failed every test I failed I would

failed every test I failed I would

failed every test I failed I would recede into a corner

recede into a corner

recede into a corner I would slowly disappear and I would say

I would slowly disappear and I would say

I would slowly disappear and I would say I’m not good enough I’m not good enough

I’m not good enough I’m not good enough

I’m not good enough I’m not good enough I

I

I not good enough the guidance counselor

not good enough the guidance counselor

not good enough the guidance counselor then told me I need to continue and

then told me I need to continue and

then told me I need to continue and follow up and do more sessions and I

follow up and do more sessions and I

follow up and do more sessions and I told her no thank you

told her no thank you

told her no thank you and she gave me some recommendations for

and she gave me some recommendations for

and she gave me some recommendations for when I go home and I took that letter

when I go home and I took that letter

when I go home and I took that letter and I ripped it up outside her door and

and I ripped it up outside her door and

and I ripped it up outside her door and I threw in the trash and I was like I

I threw in the trash and I was like I

I threw in the trash and I was like I would never hear thank you and so I’m in

would never hear thank you and so I’m in

would never hear thank you and so I’m in my a-levels I’m not doing well

my a-levels I’m not doing well

my a-levels I’m not doing well academically it comes time for my exams

academically it comes time for my exams

academically it comes time for my exams my final a level exams and I got the

my final a level exams and I got the

my final a level exams and I got the week my exams were starting I got a

week my exams were starting I got a

week my exams were starting I got a rejection letter from every single

rejection letter from every single

rejection letter from every single University that I had applied to every

University that I had applied to every

University that I had applied to every single one the week my exams are

single one the week my exams are

single one the week my exams are starting and I thought this is the

starting and I thought this is the

starting and I thought this is the reason I doing my exams so that I do go

reason I doing my exams so that I do go

reason I doing my exams so that I do go to college and I do move on with my life

to college and I do move on with my life

to college and I do move on with my life but that seems like it’s not gonna

but that seems like it’s not gonna

but that seems like it’s not gonna happen for me and for a very long time I

happen for me and for a very long time I

happen for me and for a very long time I I didn’t have it in me to wake up I

I didn’t have it in me to wake up I

I didn’t have it in me to wake up I didn’t have it in me to get up and go

didn’t have it in me to get up and go

didn’t have it in me to get up and go out but go about my day and come to

out but go about my day and come to

out but go about my day and come to school and listen to about how all my

school and listen to about how all my

school and listen to about how all my colleagues were getting into this

colleagues were getting into this

colleagues were getting into this University and this university and how

University and this university and how

University and this university and how they were on standby for this university

they were on standby for this university

they were on standby for this university and I had nothing and so I gathered

and I had nothing and so I gathered

and I had nothing and so I gathered myself and I came and I wrote my exams

myself and I came and I wrote my exams

myself and I came and I wrote my exams but I was already defeated mentally

but I was already defeated mentally

but I was already defeated mentally before I even picked up my pen before

before I even picked up my pen before

before I even picked up my pen before the examiner said start I had failed I

the examiner said start I had failed I

the examiner said start I had failed I was I had checked out and I said well

was I had checked out and I said well

was I had checked out and I said well this is the end of the road for me but

this is the end of the road for me but

this is the end of the road for me but that wasn’t the case so I finished my

that wasn’t the case so I finished my

that wasn’t the case so I finished my exams and I went home and luckily

exams and I went home and luckily

exams and I went home and luckily because of my leadership and how well I

because of my leadership and how well I

because of my leadership and how well I did in terms of my leadership skills and

did in terms of my leadership skills and

did in terms of my leadership skills and my encouragement that I received from

my encouragement that I received from

my encouragement that I received from the teachers here I was nominated for

the teachers here I was nominated for

the teachers here I was nominated for people-to-people program that I took and

people-to-people program that I took and

people-to-people program that I took and I went for theatre film and television

I went for theatre film and television

I went for theatre film and television in California and I could not believe

in California and I could not believe

in California and I could not believe that I had bought so many lies about

that I had bought so many lies about

that I had bought so many lies about myself

myself

myself my capabilities and about failure in

my capabilities and about failure in

my capabilities and about failure in general I met him I met a man whose job

general I met him I met a man whose job

general I met him I met a man whose job it was to stand in line he stood in line

it was to stand in line he stood in line

it was to stand in line he stood in line and got paid and that’s how he paid his

and got paid and that’s how he paid his

and got paid and that’s how he paid his bills and I said to myself you can be

bills and I said to myself you can be

bills and I said to myself you can be anything it doesn’t matter if you pass

anything it doesn’t matter if you pass

anything it doesn’t matter if you pass or you fail your efforts will always be

or you fail your efforts will always be

or you fail your efforts will always be met at the end of it so I’m not telling

met at the end of it so I’m not telling

met at the end of it so I’m not telling you go and fail your exams I’m telling

you go and fail your exams I’m telling

you go and fail your exams I’m telling you if you try and you don’t do well

you if you try and you don’t do well

you if you try and you don’t do well it’s okay there is a life after it your

it’s okay there is a life after it your

it’s okay there is a life after it your best life in fact I would venture to say

best life in fact I would venture to say

best life in fact I would venture to say because you had to pick yourself up and

because you had to pick yourself up and

because you had to pick yourself up and get creative with how you wanted to

get creative with how you wanted to

get creative with how you wanted to succeed I was the weirdest failure

succeed I was the weirdest failure

succeed I was the weirdest failure because I would fail but I would still

because I would fail but I would still

because I would fail but I would still think I was going to get all this money

think I was going to get all this money

think I was going to get all this money and I was gonna be so successful and I

and I was gonna be so successful and I

and I was gonna be so successful and I was still gonna be an actor in Hollywood

was still gonna be an actor in Hollywood

was still gonna be an actor in Hollywood and I was still gonna do what I wanted

and I was still gonna do what I wanted

and I was still gonna do what I wanted to do but I just didn’t know how I was

to do but I just didn’t know how I was

to do but I just didn’t know how I was gonna get there because I was currently

gonna get there because I was currently

gonna get there because I was currently failing so the vision I had wasn’t taken

failing so the vision I had wasn’t taken

failing so the vision I had wasn’t taken away from me and that’s the message I

away from me and that’s the message I

away from me and that’s the message I want to share with you all here today is

want to share with you all here today is

want to share with you all here today is that you can fail but you can grow from

that you can fail but you can grow from

that you can fail but you can grow from that feat failure so fail fast and get

that feat failure so fail fast and get

that feat failure so fail fast and get it out of the way so that you stop

it out of the way so that you stop

it out of the way so that you stop taking it personal as a personal attack

taking it personal as a personal attack

taking it personal as a personal attack on your character because that’s not the

on your character because that’s not the

on your character because that’s not the case that’s not what it’s there for it’s

case that’s not what it’s there for it’s

case that’s not what it’s there for it’s there to teach you to pick yourself up

there to teach you to pick yourself up

there to teach you to pick yourself up and to move forward thank you

and to move forward thank you

and to move forward thank you you

you

you [Applause]