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Facing a health challenge head-on | Jonathan Koch | TEDxOaksChristianSchool


this is the greatest student body I’ve

this is the greatest student body I’ve ever been around in my life and you guys

ever been around in my life and you guys

ever been around in my life and you guys should be really proud of yourself okay

should be really proud of yourself okay

should be really proud of yourself okay in the spirit of transparency I just

in the spirit of transparency I just

in the spirit of transparency I just want to admit this is really not my

want to admit this is really not my

want to admit this is really not my thumb so I’m going to put it away okay

thumb so I’m going to put it away okay

thumb so I’m going to put it away okay so the listen it’s not my thumb so in

so the listen it’s not my thumb so in

so the listen it’s not my thumb so in the spirit of this whole thing and

the spirit of this whole thing and

the spirit of this whole thing and trying to figure out what it is we want

trying to figure out what it is we want

trying to figure out what it is we want to talk about today I want you to forget

to talk about today I want you to forget

to talk about today I want you to forget about me forget about everything that

about me forget about everything that

about me forget about everything that I’m saying about what happened to me

I’m saying about what happened to me

I’m saying about what happened to me because that doesn’t really matter what

because that doesn’t really matter what

because that doesn’t really matter what matters is what happens to you guys and

matters is what happens to you guys and

matters is what happens to you guys and if something I say today’s strikes a

if something I say today’s strikes a

if something I say today’s strikes a chord in you whether it’s today or it’s

chord in you whether it’s today or it’s

chord in you whether it’s today or it’s in the future great I hope you’ll

in the future great I hope you’ll

in the future great I hope you’ll remember it is something crazy that

remember it is something crazy that

remember it is something crazy that happened was we’re going to put pictures

happened was we’re going to put pictures

happened was we’re going to put pictures up soon okay so you can forget my

up soon okay so you can forget my

up soon okay so you can forget my headshot because I can see my head it’s

headshot because I can see my head it’s

headshot because I can see my head it’s very large up there it’s giant my

very large up there it’s giant my

very large up there it’s giant my goodness

goodness

goodness so everything in my life has been you

so everything in my life has been you

so everything in my life has been you know exactly what I expected it to be I

know exactly what I expected it to be I

know exactly what I expected it to be I worked really hard at everything I ever

worked really hard at everything I ever

worked really hard at everything I ever did in my life I was the worst wrestler

did in my life I was the worst wrestler

did in my life I was the worst wrestler that ever came out of Pennsylvania but I

that ever came out of Pennsylvania but I

that ever came out of Pennsylvania but I tried really hard and you know I

tried really hard and you know I

tried really hard and you know I accomplished a few things and then I

accomplished a few things and then I

accomplished a few things and then I moved out to California and I didn’t

moved out to California and I didn’t

moved out to California and I didn’t know anybody at all and I was very

know anybody at all and I was very

know anybody at all and I was very fortunate to meet some incredible people

fortunate to meet some incredible people

fortunate to meet some incredible people they took me under their wing and gave

they took me under their wing and gave

they took me under their wing and gave me a chance to pursue my dreams even

me a chance to pursue my dreams even

me a chance to pursue my dreams even though I had no idea what they were and

though I had no idea what they were and

though I had no idea what they were and so over the last you know number of

so over the last you know number of

so over the last you know number of years this is me and Ariana my daughter

years this is me and Ariana my daughter

years this is me and Ariana my daughter who some of you know riding a horse my

who some of you know riding a horse my

who some of you know riding a horse my horse in this was somewhat suicidal or

horse in this was somewhat suicidal or

horse in this was somewhat suicidal or angry at me

angry at me

angry at me it kept walking towards the edge of a

it kept walking towards the edge of a

it kept walking towards the edge of a cliff and I’m like dude you’ve got to

cliff and I’m like dude you’ve got to

cliff and I’m like dude you’ve got to move over but I think they were just

move over but I think they were just

move over but I think they were just hateful that they had to do that in the

hateful that they had to do that in the

hateful that they had to do that in the first place

first place

first place so anyway added a really great life I’ve

so anyway added a really great life I’ve

so anyway added a really great life I’ve had an amazing opportunity to meet and

had an amazing opportunity to meet and

had an amazing opportunity to meet and work with and be friends with the

work with and be friends with the

work with and be friends with the greatest people all the same

greatest people all the same

greatest people all the same opportunities most of you have here

opportunities most of you have here

opportunities most of you have here being at oaks and being around this

being at oaks and being around this

being at oaks and being around this community so after we sold our company

community so after we sold our company

community so after we sold our company and I was on my way to Washington DC for

and I was on my way to Washington DC for

and I was on my way to Washington DC for our television producers conference and

our television producers conference and

our television producers conference and for some reason I wasn’t feeling that

for some reason I wasn’t feeling that

for some reason I wasn’t feeling that great and I just did what I always do

great and I just did what I always do

great and I just did what I always do you just power through it doesn’t really

you just power through it doesn’t really

you just power through it doesn’t really matter you just power through it because

matter you just power through it because

matter you just power through it because you have an obligation and work to do so

you have an obligation and work to do so

you have an obligation and work to do so I went to Washington and I was pitching

I went to Washington and I was pitching

I went to Washington and I was pitching I don’t know like Discovery Channel some

I don’t know like Discovery Channel some

I don’t know like Discovery Channel some crazy show about a family in Iowa with

crazy show about a family in Iowa with

crazy show about a family in Iowa with two heads or something and it wasn’t

two heads or something and it wasn’t

two heads or something and it wasn’t great and wasn’t going great but I

great and wasn’t going great but I

great and wasn’t going great but I started to lose my vision so I got up in

started to lose my vision so I got up in

started to lose my vision so I got up in the middle of it and I wandered out into

the middle of it and I wandered out into

the middle of it and I wandered out into the street and I found a cab and I asked

the street and I found a cab and I asked

the street and I found a cab and I asked him to take me to the hospital so the

him to take me to the hospital so the

him to take me to the hospital so the long and short of it is about two years

long and short of it is about two years

long and short of it is about two years and six days ago I died for a little

and six days ago I died for a little

and six days ago I died for a little while and that wasn’t as much fun as you

while and that wasn’t as much fun as you

while and that wasn’t as much fun as you might think it is and I was in the ICU

might think it is and I was in the ICU

might think it is and I was in the ICU for 71 days and at first this is a but

for 71 days and at first this is a but

for 71 days and at first this is a but you can put this picture up so I thought

you can put this picture up so I thought

you can put this picture up so I thought I look right there everybody else said I

I look right there everybody else said I

I look right there everybody else said I didn’t so I was in a coma for a long

didn’t so I was in a coma for a long

didn’t so I was in a coma for a long time and when you’re in a coma people

time and when you’re in a coma people

time and when you’re in a coma people think that you’re very peaceful and you

think that you’re very peaceful and you

think that you’re very peaceful and you look like you’re sleeping and that

look like you’re sleeping and that

look like you’re sleeping and that certainly looks peaceful but I learned a

certainly looks peaceful but I learned a

certainly looks peaceful but I learned a lot during the two-and-a-half to three

lot during the two-and-a-half to three

lot during the two-and-a-half to three weeks that I was in a coma because it’s

weeks that I was in a coma because it’s

weeks that I was in a coma because it’s the least peaceful place I’ve ever been

the least peaceful place I’ve ever been

the least peaceful place I’ve ever been or that anybody could ever be inside of

or that anybody could ever be inside of

or that anybody could ever be inside of my head at that time I was being held

my head at that time I was being held

my head at that time I was being held captive at a farm in Maryland on a bench

captive at a farm in Maryland on a bench

captive at a farm in Maryland on a bench behind a curtain where I had a small

behind a curtain where I had a small

behind a curtain where I had a small piece of twine over my shoulder and I’m

piece of twine over my shoulder and I’m

piece of twine over my shoulder and I’m not talking about like a dream that

not talking about like a dream that

not talking about like a dream that comes and goes I’m talking about

comes and goes I’m talking about

comes and goes I’m talking about constant and you can’t you can’t

constant and you can’t you can’t

constant and you can’t you can’t separate this from anything there is no

separate this from anything there is no

separate this from anything there is no other reality to you so it is reality so

other reality to you so it is reality so

other reality to you so it is reality so I go I’m laying there on the bench in

I go I’m laying there on the bench in

I go I’m laying there on the bench in this family with giant faces and

this family with giant faces and

this family with giant faces and sharpened teeth are keeping me hostage

sharpened teeth are keeping me hostage

sharpened teeth are keeping me hostage and every morning they would walk in

and every morning they would walk in

and every morning they would walk in with a crate and they would open the

with a crate and they would open the

with a crate and they would open the crate and there would be poisonous

crate and there would be poisonous

crate and there would be poisonous snakes in it and they would bite me all

snakes in it and they would bite me all

snakes in it and they would bite me all day and they were trying to figure out

day and they were trying to figure out

day and they were trying to figure out which snakes would kill their livestock

which snakes would kill their livestock

which snakes would kill their livestock and which ones were not they never

and which ones were not they never

and which ones were not they never talked to me only about me and they gave

talked to me only about me and they gave

talked to me only about me and they gave me the sense that I wasn’t the first one

me the sense that I wasn’t the first one

me the sense that I wasn’t the first one there and I wouldn’t be the last one

there and I wouldn’t be the last one

there and I wouldn’t be the last one there that at some point I would die

there that at some point I would die

there that at some point I would die and that they would find somebody else

and that they would find somebody else

and that they would find somebody else so at certain point I started to have

so at certain point I started to have

so at certain point I started to have labour breathing I could feel myself

labour breathing I could feel myself

labour breathing I could feel myself drifting away and as soon as I sort of

drifting away and as soon as I sort of

drifting away and as soon as I sort of acknowledged that the end was near I was

acknowledged that the end was near I was

acknowledged that the end was near I was transported into what I call a purgatory

transported into what I call a purgatory

transported into what I call a purgatory room and it was a it was a room with no

room and it was a it was a room with no

room and it was a it was a room with no no people no temperature nothing in it

no people no temperature nothing in it

no people no temperature nothing in it except for everything was in it

except for everything was in it

except for everything was in it everybody I’ve ever known everything

everybody I’ve ever known everything

everybody I’ve ever known everything I’ve ever thought about everything in my

I’ve ever thought about everything in my

I’ve ever thought about everything in my entire life even the most you know

entire life even the most you know

entire life even the most you know ridiculous details were all encapsulated

ridiculous details were all encapsulated

ridiculous details were all encapsulated in that room but there was nothing there

in that room but there was nothing there

in that room but there was nothing there except for a small drain in the middle

except for a small drain in the middle

except for a small drain in the middle like you find in a locker room shower or

like you find in a locker room shower or

like you find in a locker room shower or like that and as I started to walk

like that and as I started to walk

like that and as I started to walk across it I was confronted by a voice

across it I was confronted by a voice

across it I was confronted by a voice there’s been a lot of debate between the

there’s been a lot of debate between the

there’s been a lot of debate between the people that I love and care about that

people that I love and care about that

people that I love and care about that I’ve actually talked to about this

I’ve actually talked to about this

I’ve actually talked to about this whether that was the voice of God

whether that was the voice of God

whether that was the voice of God whether it was a physician you know who

whether it was a physician you know who

whether it was a physician you know who was standing in my room talking to me

was standing in my room talking to me

was standing in my room talking to me whether it was my own conscience there

whether it was my own conscience there

whether it was my own conscience there was a lot of debate about it but there

was a lot of debate about it but there

was a lot of debate about it but there was no debate about one thing which is

was no debate about one thing which is

was no debate about one thing which is they asked me one very specific question

they asked me one very specific question

they asked me one very specific question do you want to keep doing what you’re

do you want to keep doing what you’re

do you want to keep doing what you’re doing and I thought well I’m being

doing and I thought well I’m being

doing and I thought well I’m being bitten by poisonous snakes

bitten by poisonous snakes

bitten by poisonous snakes you know trapped in a farmhouse

you know trapped in a farmhouse

you know trapped in a farmhouse somewhere I really don’t so I said no

somewhere I really don’t so I said no

somewhere I really don’t so I said no and somehow this voice knows me and it

and somehow this voice knows me and it

and somehow this voice knows me and it says if you do decide you want to live

says if you do decide you want to live

says if you do decide you want to live it’s going to be the hardest most

it’s going to be the hardest most

it’s going to be the hardest most difficult painful fight of your life and

difficult painful fight of your life and

difficult painful fight of your life and so that I understand because I was the

so that I understand because I was the

so that I understand because I was the worst wrestler ever so I understand like

worst wrestler ever so I understand like

worst wrestler ever so I understand like the hardest fights in your life so I

the hardest fights in your life so I

the hardest fights in your life so I said yes to that and immediately I was

said yes to that and immediately I was

said yes to that and immediately I was transported through water food it got

transported through water food it got

transported through water food it got very very dark water – lighter water and

very very dark water – lighter water and

very very dark water – lighter water and when I came out at the surface I woke up

when I came out at the surface I woke up

when I came out at the surface I woke up from my coma to find you can put the

from my coma to find you can put the

from my coma to find you can put the next picture up to find that and I had

next picture up to find that and I had

next picture up to find that and I had this on all four of my limbs and I only

this on all four of my limbs and I only

this on all four of my limbs and I only show you these pictures briefly because

show you these pictures briefly because

show you these pictures briefly because I just want you to know the extent of

I just want you to know the extent of

I just want you to know the extent of what we’re talking about here because

what we’re talking about here because

what we’re talking about here because it’s important

it’s important

it’s important when we get to the idea of what do you

when we get to the idea of what do you

when we get to the idea of what do you do when something happens to you what do

do when something happens to you what do

do when something happens to you what do you do when you’re getting ready for an

you do when you’re getting ready for an

you do when you’re getting ready for an opportunity or challenge and I just want

opportunity or challenge and I just want

opportunity or challenge and I just want to set the standard for what we were

to set the standard for what we were

to set the standard for what we were dealing with a little bit those were

dealing with a little bit those were

dealing with a little bit those were both my hands and feet were like that I

both my hands and feet were like that I

both my hands and feet were like that I didn’t get to keep any of those things

didn’t get to keep any of those things

didn’t get to keep any of those things this is what’s left of of my right hand

this is what’s left of of my right hand

this is what’s left of of my right hand and this hand is a hand transplant that

and this hand is a hand transplant that

and this hand is a hand transplant that I got 90 days ago so you know when you

I got 90 days ago so you know when you

I got 90 days ago so you know when you get a hand

get a hand

get a hand I’m the 81st person in the world to get

I’m the 81st person in the world to get

I’m the 81st person in the world to get a hand transplant and I’m also the first

a hand transplant and I’m also the first

a hand transplant and I’m also the first person in the world who my doctor doctor

person in the world who my doctor doctor

person in the world who my doctor doctor sorry who is the most amazing person

sorry who is the most amazing person

sorry who is the most amazing person I’ve met he prepared it in a certain way

I’ve met he prepared it in a certain way

I’ve met he prepared it in a certain way so that already I can move it and it

so that already I can move it and it

so that already I can move it and it looks natural and I’m about a year and a

looks natural and I’m about a year and a

looks natural and I’m about a year and a half ahead of schedule for the way most

half ahead of schedule for the way most

half ahead of schedule for the way most people receive a hand transplant for

people receive a hand transplant for

people receive a hand transplant for which I’m very grateful so so I before I

which I’m very grateful so so I before I

which I’m very grateful so so I before I got sick I did everything that I thought

got sick I did everything that I thought

got sick I did everything that I thought was right I exercise every day I ate

was right I exercise every day I ate

was right I exercise every day I ate healthy I don’t drink I don’t smoke I

healthy I don’t drink I don’t smoke I

healthy I don’t drink I don’t smoke I you know everything that I thought was a

you know everything that I thought was a

you know everything that I thought was a good decision I did those things so you

good decision I did those things so you

good decision I did those things so you wondered to yourself you know well how

wondered to yourself you know well how

wondered to yourself you know well how did this happen I literally and just so

did this happen I literally and just so

did this happen I literally and just so you know none of you are going to

you know none of you are going to

you know none of you are going to experience this so please don’t worry

experience this so please don’t worry

experience this so please don’t worry about it like in biology class when they

about it like in biology class when they

about it like in biology class when they tell you what goes wrong you all start

tell you what goes wrong you all start

tell you what goes wrong you all start getting a cough yeah none of this is

getting a cough yeah none of this is

getting a cough yeah none of this is ever going to happen to you you’re never

ever going to happen to you you’re never

ever going to happen to you you’re never going to face it it’s just that I caught

going to face it it’s just that I caught

going to face it it’s just that I caught what was kind of like flu-like symptoms

what was kind of like flu-like symptoms

what was kind of like flu-like symptoms and it’s fun my entire system out of

and it’s fun my entire system out of

and it’s fun my entire system out of control for some reasons and my body

control for some reasons and my body

control for some reasons and my body started to kill itself and when it did

started to kill itself and when it did

started to kill itself and when it did that

that

that that’s what left me with the residual

that’s what left me with the residual

that’s what left me with the residual but the decision to live and being I

but the decision to live and being I

but the decision to live and being I don’t know if there’s a picture of it

don’t know if there’s a picture of it

don’t know if there’s a picture of it but I was like a hundred and eighty

but I was like a hundred and eighty

but I was like a hundred and eighty pounds which I normally roll around it

pounds which I normally roll around it

pounds which I normally roll around it to 25 and feel strong and healthy I lost

to 25 and feel strong and healthy I lost

to 25 and feel strong and healthy I lost 45 pounds in a very short period of time

45 pounds in a very short period of time

45 pounds in a very short period of time I was gone from home at two different

I was gone from home at two different

I was gone from home at two different major hospitals for five months and all

major hospitals for five months and all

major hospitals for five months and all the day that I woke up from my coma even

the day that I woke up from my coma even

the day that I woke up from my coma even though I couldn’t talk and I couldn’t

though I couldn’t talk and I couldn’t

though I couldn’t talk and I couldn’t really do anything

really do anything

really do anything I asked them to tie bands to the bottom

I asked them to tie bands to the bottom

I asked them to tie bands to the bottom of my bed so I could take my black hands

of my bed so I could take my black hands

of my bed so I could take my black hands and see if there’s some way I could

and see if there’s some way I could

and see if there’s some way I could start lifting again I don’t know why but

start lifting again I don’t know why but

start lifting again I don’t know why but I I find strength in that I find

I I find strength in that I find

I I find strength in that I find strength in the accomplishment and so I

strength in the accomplishment and so I

strength in the accomplishment and so I started training really hard and I at

started training really hard and I at

started training really hard and I at the hospital I came home I was in a

the hospital I came home I was in a

the hospital I came home I was in a wheelchair for ten months which is so

wheelchair for ten months which is so

wheelchair for ten months which is so strange to be in a wheelchair when

strange to be in a wheelchair when

strange to be in a wheelchair when you’re nothing but active and you know

you’re nothing but active and you know

you’re nothing but active and you know it’s not it’s a really humbling

it’s not it’s a really humbling

it’s not it’s a really humbling experience but then you really get to

experience but then you really get to

experience but then you really get to the point where you understand how much

the point where you understand how much

the point where you understand how much your brain and your soul your mind your

your brain and your soul your mind your

your brain and your soul your mind your heart like how much those things are

heart like how much those things are

heart like how much those things are more important than your body and for

more important than your body and for

more important than your body and for somebody who paid attention to all of it

somebody who paid attention to all of it

somebody who paid attention to all of it for a long time my body was a big part

for a long time my body was a big part

for a long time my body was a big part of it it was the part that I could see

of it it was the part that I could see

of it it was the part that I could see and understand but when I came to know

and understand but when I came to know

and understand but when I came to know during this journey and what I’m hoping

during this journey and what I’m hoping

during this journey and what I’m hoping to share with you guys the decision that

to share with you guys the decision that

to share with you guys the decision that you make about your life really comes

you make about your life really comes

you make about your life really comes down to a couple things which is are you

down to a couple things which is are you

down to a couple things which is are you wanna do you want to survive your

wanna do you want to survive your

wanna do you want to survive your challenges do you want to survive your

challenges do you want to survive your

challenges do you want to survive your opportunities or do you want to attack

opportunities or do you want to attack

opportunities or do you want to attack them do you want to be strong in the

them do you want to be strong in the

them do you want to be strong in the face of them the reason I started by

face of them the reason I started by

face of them the reason I started by telling you that I didn’t think that all

telling you that I didn’t think that all

telling you that I didn’t think that all of you would use this today but maybe

of you would use this today but maybe

of you would use this today but maybe some day you would is because if you

some day you would is because if you

some day you would is because if you prepare yourselves and you decide that

prepare yourselves and you decide that

prepare yourselves and you decide that you’re going to do more than what you

you’re going to do more than what you

you’re going to do more than what you think that you should do if you do one

think that you should do if you do one

think that you should do if you do one extra push-up if you it whatever it is

extra push-up if you it whatever it is

extra push-up if you it whatever it is that you decide inside of yourself just

that you decide inside of yourself just

that you decide inside of yourself just between you and you that you’re going to

between you and you that you’re going to

between you and you that you’re going to push yourself a little bit harder to be

push yourself a little bit harder to be

push yourself a little bit harder to be ready for whatever happens to you

ready for whatever happens to you

ready for whatever happens to you whether it’s great whether it’s terrible

whether it’s great whether it’s terrible

whether it’s great whether it’s terrible whatever happens to you life is very

whatever happens to you life is very

whatever happens to you life is very long it has a lot of twisted twists and

long it has a lot of twisted twists and

long it has a lot of twisted twists and turns to it and I find the whole

turns to it and I find the whole

turns to it and I find the whole experience you know amazing so part of

experience you know amazing so part of

experience you know amazing so part of what I think has helped me is I have I

what I think has helped me is I have I

what I think has helped me is I have I was born with a great attitude so that’s

was born with a great attitude so that’s

was born with a great attitude so that’s not something I take pride in it was

not something I take pride in it was

not something I take pride in it was just part of being born that way but

just part of being born that way but

just part of being born that way but what I found was that everybody around

what I found was that everybody around

what I found was that everybody around me sparked to that everybody that I met

me sparked to that everybody that I met

me sparked to that everybody that I met all the doctors every single person in

all the doctors every single person in

all the doctors every single person in the hospital I’ve had 255 doctors so far

the hospital I’ve had 255 doctors so far

the hospital I’ve had 255 doctors so far and spent millions of dollars they spent

and spent millions of dollars they spent

and spent millions of dollars they spent millions of dollars saving my life and

millions of dollars saving my life and

millions of dollars saving my life and doing extraordinary things for me which

doing extraordinary things for me which

doing extraordinary things for me which again you guys are never going to face

again you guys are never going to face

again you guys are never going to face that but the effort of it is still the

that but the effort of it is still the

that but the effort of it is still the same if you can encourage the people

same if you can encourage the people

same if you can encourage the people around you to be great with you if you

around you to be great with you if you

around you to be great with you if you choose

choose

choose is great people to be around you and not

is great people to be around you and not

is great people to be around you and not the ones that bring you down whatever

the ones that bring you down whatever

the ones that bring you down whatever challenges you’re going through right

challenges you’re going through right

challenges you’re going through right now you have to be fierce in attacking

now you have to be fierce in attacking

now you have to be fierce in attacking those challenges and you have to put

those challenges and you have to put

those challenges and you have to put your mind to it one of the doctors was

your mind to it one of the doctors was

your mind to it one of the doctors was explaining to me what’s the difference

explaining to me what’s the difference

explaining to me what’s the difference between your mind and your conscious

between your mind and your conscious

between your mind and your conscious your mind and your soul your mind and

your mind and your soul your mind and

your mind and your soul your mind and your heart he said everybody’s brain

your heart he said everybody’s brain

your heart he said everybody’s brain looks the same all of our brains look

looks the same all of our brains look

looks the same all of our brains look exactly the same but our feelings about

exactly the same but our feelings about

exactly the same but our feelings about things how we look at things how we view

things how we look at things how we view

things how we look at things how we view ourselves those are all different that’s

ourselves those are all different that’s

ourselves those are all different that’s your conscious in your mind and those

your conscious in your mind and those

your conscious in your mind and those are the things that you can use to

are the things that you can use to

are the things that you can use to attack your problems it’s not all about

attack your problems it’s not all about

attack your problems it’s not all about how people see you in fact none of it

how people see you in fact none of it

how people see you in fact none of it really is about how people see you and I

really is about how people see you and I

really is about how people see you and I know it’s high schools so that’s a

know it’s high schools so that’s a

know it’s high schools so that’s a bigger thing than it will be as you get

bigger thing than it will be as you get

bigger thing than it will be as you get older but it’s only really the

older but it’s only really the

older but it’s only really the opportunity that you take to be great in

opportunity that you take to be great in

opportunity that you take to be great in your lives and maybe finances won’t be

your lives and maybe finances won’t be

your lives and maybe finances won’t be your challenge maybe it will be I don’t

your challenge maybe it will be I don’t

your challenge maybe it will be I don’t know but I do feel that whatever it is

know but I do feel that whatever it is

know but I do feel that whatever it is you can put your mind to it if you train

you can put your mind to it if you train

you can put your mind to it if you train it just like you train your body and

it just like you train your body and

it just like you train your body and just like you care about the way that

just like you care about the way that

just like you care about the way that you look you have to care about your

you look you have to care about your

you look you have to care about your ability to know what’s true and deal

ability to know what’s true and deal

ability to know what’s true and deal with it as it is because wishing and

with it as it is because wishing and

with it as it is because wishing and wanting and all those things don’t

wanting and all those things don’t

wanting and all those things don’t really come out I didn’t wish myself

really come out I didn’t wish myself

really come out I didn’t wish myself back to health I work myself back to

back to health I work myself back to

back to health I work myself back to health and I’m proud of it I’m still in

health and I’m proud of it I’m still in

health and I’m proud of it I’m still in the middle of it and you know I’m two

the middle of it and you know I’m two

the middle of it and you know I’m two years from now I probably will be out

years from now I probably will be out

years from now I probably will be out doing amazing things again I already

doing amazing things again I already

doing amazing things again I already feel like I’m doing them now but as I

feel like I’m doing them now but as I

feel like I’m doing them now but as I said this isn’t anything to do with

said this isn’t anything to do with

said this isn’t anything to do with what’s going to happen to you this is

what’s going to happen to you this is

what’s going to happen to you this is not going to happen to you but things

not going to happen to you but things

not going to happen to you but things are going to and good things and bad

are going to and good things and bad

are going to and good things and bad things and I just would like you to be

things and I just would like you to be

things and I just would like you to be ready and be fierce and someday when

ready and be fierce and someday when

ready and be fierce and someday when you’re feeling challenged that you’ll

you’re feeling challenged that you’ll

you’re feeling challenged that you’ll look back at this and you’ll say to

look back at this and you’ll say to

look back at this and you’ll say to yourself you know what I can push

yourself you know what I can push

yourself you know what I can push through this I can do more than I

through this I can do more than I

through this I can do more than I thought I could and it’ll turn out great

thought I could and it’ll turn out great

thought I could and it’ll turn out great for you either way so thanks for having

for you either way so thanks for having

for you either way so thanks for having me I appreciate it

”

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