Everyone Has a Story | Shelley Chinn | TEDxCranbrookSchools

[Applause]

[Applause] thank you good afternoon I’m here today

thank you good afternoon I’m here today

thank you good afternoon I’m here today because I believe that everyone has a

because I believe that everyone has a

because I believe that everyone has a story and I’d like to share a small

story and I’d like to share a small

story and I’d like to share a small portion of my story with you 17 years

portion of my story with you 17 years

portion of my story with you 17 years ago at the age of 31 I was diagnosed

ago at the age of 31 I was diagnosed

ago at the age of 31 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and well at the time

with breast cancer and well at the time

with breast cancer and well at the time that seems like a scary diagnosis we

that seems like a scary diagnosis we

that seems like a scary diagnosis we weren’t entirely surprised 12 years

weren’t entirely surprised 12 years

weren’t entirely surprised 12 years prior to that my mom had been diagnosed

prior to that my mom had been diagnosed

prior to that my mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer

with breast cancer

with breast cancer a scary part at that time for my husband

a scary part at that time for my husband

a scary part at that time for my husband and I when we sat in the doctor’s office

and I when we sat in the doctor’s office

and I when we sat in the doctor’s office was actually looking at the doctor and

was actually looking at the doctor and

was actually looking at the doctor and the urgency in her voice and actually

the urgency in her voice and actually

the urgency in her voice and actually the tears in her eyes she said that

the tears in her eyes she said that

the tears in her eyes she said that surgery had to occur as soon as possible

surgery had to occur as soon as possible

surgery had to occur as soon as possible and that treatment would follow the time

and that treatment would follow the time

and that treatment would follow the time between the diagnosis and my actual

between the diagnosis and my actual

between the diagnosis and my actual surgery was four days in those four days

surgery was four days in those four days

surgery was four days in those four days time seemed to pass very slowly it’s

time seemed to pass very slowly it’s

time seemed to pass very slowly it’s kind of a blur when I think back to that

kind of a blur when I think back to that

kind of a blur when I think back to that time but there’s one thing that was

time but there’s one thing that was

time but there’s one thing that was really clear during that time and our

really clear during that time and our

really clear during that time and our girls were really little we had a three

girls were really little we had a three

girls were really little we had a three month old little girl we had a 2 year

month old little girl we had a 2 year

month old little girl we had a 2 year old little girl I can remember strangely

old little girl I can remember strangely

old little girl I can remember strangely enough going to the grocery store and

enough going to the grocery store and

enough going to the grocery store and passing by complete strangers and

passing by complete strangers and

passing by complete strangers and thinking they have no idea which has

thinking they have no idea which has

thinking they have no idea which has happened to me yesterday and I looked at

happened to me yesterday and I looked at

happened to me yesterday and I looked at them and I wondered I wonder what their

them and I wondered I wonder what their

them and I wondered I wonder what their story is I wonder if they have an

story is I wonder if they have an

story is I wonder if they have an amazing happy story something wonderful

amazing happy story something wonderful

amazing happy story something wonderful happened in their life I wonder if they

happened in their life I wonder if they

happened in their life I wonder if they have a sad story they lost a loved one

have a sad story they lost a loved one

have a sad story they lost a loved one or perhaps maybe they have a scary

or perhaps maybe they have a scary

or perhaps maybe they have a scary medical diagnosis ahead of them as well

medical diagnosis ahead of them as well

medical diagnosis ahead of them as well but what was clear to me at that time

but what was clear to me at that time

but what was clear to me at that time things changed and honestly I’ve never

things changed and honestly I’ve never

things changed and honestly I’ve never looked at a stranger the same and it’s

looked at a stranger the same and it’s

looked at a stranger the same and it’s something that I always play over and

something that I always play over and

something that I always play over and over again in my head so as the years

over again in my head so as the years

over again in my head so as the years went by it’s something that you don’t

went by it’s something that you don’t

went by it’s something that you don’t think about as much and it’s something

think about as much and it’s something

think about as much and it’s something that you just deal with with your family

that you just deal with with your family

that you just deal with with your family and I had so much love and so much

and I had so much love and so much

and I had so much love and so much support that they got us through a very

support that they got us through a very

support that they got us through a very difficult time and for that I’m very

difficult time and for that I’m very

difficult time and for that I’m very thankful

thankful

thankful well today we’re here at Cranbrook to

well today we’re here at Cranbrook to

well today we’re here at Cranbrook to talk about empathy and I think empathy

talk about empathy and I think empathy

talk about empathy and I think empathy is the ability to put ourselves in

is the ability to put ourselves in

is the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and understand

someone else’s shoes and understand

someone else’s shoes and understand exactly how they feel what they’re

exactly how they feel what they’re

exactly how they feel what they’re feeling what their concerns are and as

feeling what their concerns are and as

feeling what their concerns are and as much as we’d love to think we can always

much as we’d love to think we can always

much as we’d love to think we can always empathize with anybody we don’t always

empathize with anybody we don’t always

empathize with anybody we don’t always have that ability we haven’t experienced

have that ability we haven’t experienced

have that ability we haven’t experienced the same thing so I kind of feel that

the same thing so I kind of feel that

the same thing so I kind of feel that there’s a fine line between empathy and

there’s a fine line between empathy and

there’s a fine line between empathy and sympathy I can remember having to tell

sympathy I can remember having to tell

sympathy I can remember having to tell people in my family or friends what had

people in my family or friends what had

people in my family or friends what had happened in the diagnosis and at that

happened in the diagnosis and at that

happened in the diagnosis and at that time I felt so bad because there’s that

time I felt so bad because there’s that

time I felt so bad because there’s that split second when you tell somebody and

split second when you tell somebody and

split second when you tell somebody and they want to say the right thing and

they want to say the right thing and

they want to say the right thing and they don’t know exactly what to say they

they don’t know exactly what to say they

they don’t know exactly what to say they want to do the right thing and they

want to do the right thing and they

want to do the right thing and they don’t know exactly what to do but I can

don’t know exactly what to do but I can

don’t know exactly what to do but I can promise you that nobody during that time

promise you that nobody during that time

promise you that nobody during that time said the wrong thing or did the wrong

said the wrong thing or did the wrong

said the wrong thing or did the wrong thing they always did exactly what they

thing they always did exactly what they

thing they always did exactly what they needed to do and it helped this

needed to do and it helped this

needed to do and it helped this community of Cranbrook is full of people

community of Cranbrook is full of people

community of Cranbrook is full of people that surrounded my family during that

that surrounded my family during that

that surrounded my family during that time they’re empathetic they’re

time they’re empathetic they’re

time they’re empathetic they’re sympathetic they’re just kind caring

sympathetic they’re just kind caring

sympathetic they’re just kind caring Souls and they want to help well fast

Souls and they want to help well fast

Souls and they want to help well fast forward to 2009 and now our girls are

forward to 2009 and now our girls are

forward to 2009 and now our girls are grown up and they’re at Brookside and

grown up and they’re at Brookside and

grown up and they’re at Brookside and I’m back to doing what I love very much

I’m back to doing what I love very much

I’m back to doing what I love very much and that’s teaching in the classroom and

and that’s teaching in the classroom and

and that’s teaching in the classroom and at this point in 2009 I’ve been at

at this point in 2009 I’ve been at

at this point in 2009 I’ve been at Cranbrook for three years and I’m having

Cranbrook for three years and I’m having

Cranbrook for three years and I’m having a lunch conversation with somebody and I

a lunch conversation with somebody and I

a lunch conversation with somebody and I hear about the event Cranbrook envisions

hear about the event Cranbrook envisions

hear about the event Cranbrook envisions a cure currently the event has been

a cure currently the event has been

a cure currently the event has been going on this will be our ninth year

going on this will be our ninth year

going on this will be our ninth year this fall but at this point it was the

this fall but at this point it was the

this fall but at this point it was the inaugural year and Cranbrook envisions a

inaugural year and Cranbrook envisions a

inaugural year and Cranbrook envisions a cure is a time when the Cranbrook

cure is a time when the Cranbrook

cure is a time when the Cranbrook community comes together and other

community comes together and other

community comes together and other people outside of the community and we

people outside of the community and we

people outside of the community and we meet on this beautiful campus in the

meet on this beautiful campus in the

meet on this beautiful campus in the fall beside kingswood lake and families

fall beside kingswood lake and families

fall beside kingswood lake and families that have struggled with cancer or

that have struggled with cancer or

that have struggled with cancer or interested in finding a cure for cancer

interested in finding a cure for cancer

interested in finding a cure for cancer come together and share stories and walk

come together and share stories and walk

come together and share stories and walk together around kingswood Lake and I

together around kingswood Lake and I

together around kingswood Lake and I knew

knew

knew was something that I wanted to help with

was something that I wanted to help with

was something that I wanted to help with so I reached out to the lady that

so I reached out to the lady that

so I reached out to the lady that started it and she too was a breast

started it and she too was a breast

started it and she too was a breast cancer survivor and at the time worked

cancer survivor and at the time worked

cancer survivor and at the time worked at Brookside school and I asked if I

at Brookside school and I asked if I

at Brookside school and I asked if I could help well it’s eight years later

could help well it’s eight years later

could help well it’s eight years later and every year the event becomes more

and every year the event becomes more

and every year the event becomes more and more wonderful and a couple years

and more wonderful and a couple years

and more wonderful and a couple years ago we meet after the event every year

ago we meet after the event every year

ago we meet after the event every year and talk about what went well and what

and talk about what went well and what

and talk about what went well and what we could do better in the future and

we could do better in the future and

we could do better in the future and this one particular year we thought we

this one particular year we thought we

this one particular year we thought we would love more people to know about

would love more people to know about

would love more people to know about this event we want more people to be

this event we want more people to be

this event we want more people to be here because we would hear from them I

here because we would hear from them I

here because we would hear from them I wish I would have known I would have

wish I would have known I would have

wish I would have known I would have attended I had no idea that was going on

attended I had no idea that was going on

attended I had no idea that was going on and as a teacher in the upper school I

and as a teacher in the upper school I

and as a teacher in the upper school I thought maybe there was something that I

thought maybe there was something that I

thought maybe there was something that I could do we have many many clubs at

could do we have many many clubs at

could do we have many many clubs at Cranbrook upper school but we didn’t

Cranbrook upper school but we didn’t

Cranbrook upper school but we didn’t have this club Cranbrook and vision

have this club Cranbrook and vision

have this club Cranbrook and vision secure club and it just kind of flowed

secure club and it just kind of flowed

secure club and it just kind of flowed real nicely so I reached out to some

real nicely so I reached out to some

real nicely so I reached out to some students and with their help and their

students and with their help and their

students and with their help and their hard work and their determination we

hard work and their determination we

hard work and their determination we created two years ago Cranbrook

created two years ago Cranbrook

created two years ago Cranbrook envisions a cure Club in our first year

envisions a cure Club in our first year

envisions a cure Club in our first year we had a very successful fundraiser in

we had a very successful fundraiser in

we had a very successful fundraiser in this past fall we were able to give

this past fall we were able to give

this past fall we were able to give donations to four of the main charities

donations to four of the main charities

donations to four of the main charities that attended the event large donations

that attended the event large donations

that attended the event large donations and what’s special about that event each

and what’s special about that event each

and what’s special about that event each fall is every single charity that shows

fall is every single charity that shows

fall is every single charity that shows up at Cranbrook envisions a cure has a

up at Cranbrook envisions a cure has a

up at Cranbrook envisions a cure has a special Cranbrook connection to our

special Cranbrook connection to our

special Cranbrook connection to our community whether it’s an alum a student

community whether it’s an alum a student

community whether it’s an alum a student or a family that is struggled with

or a family that is struggled with

or a family that is struggled with cancer this year we’ve had another

cancer this year we’ve had another

cancer this year we’ve had another successful year with our club we have

successful year with our club we have

successful year with our club we have twenty members and the featured charity

twenty members and the featured charity

twenty members and the featured charity for this coming fall is Gilda’s Club

for this coming fall is Gilda’s Club

for this coming fall is Gilda’s Club next month the students of our club will

next month the students of our club will

next month the students of our club will Tran will travel to Royal Oak and

Tran will travel to Royal Oak and

Tran will travel to Royal Oak and present Gilda’s Club with a very large

present Gilda’s Club with a very large

present Gilda’s Club with a very large donation for a memorial garden that

donation for a memorial garden that

donation for a memorial garden that they’ll be planning as soon as the

they’ll be planning as soon as the

they’ll be planning as soon as the weather warms up so that’s a little the

weather warms up so that’s a little the

weather warms up so that’s a little the background of how I became involved with

background of how I became involved with

background of how I became involved with Cranbrook and vision secure and the club

Cranbrook and vision secure and the club

Cranbrook and vision secure and the club in closing today I know a cancer

in closing today I know a cancer

in closing today I know a cancer diagnosis is scary for any family and I

diagnosis is scary for any family and I

diagnosis is scary for any family and I know that we don’t always get the

know that we don’t always get the

know that we don’t always get the outcome that we had hoped for

outcome that we had hoped for

outcome that we had hoped for my family knows this because we lost my

my family knows this because we lost my

my family knows this because we lost my mom two and a half years ago to breast

mom two and a half years ago to breast

mom two and a half years ago to breast cancer but for my story there were two

cancer but for my story there were two

cancer but for my story there were two little girls that we were really worried

little girls that we were really worried

little girls that we were really worried about I’m sorry

about I’m sorry

about I’m sorry and last June my oldest I was able to

and last June my oldest I was able to

and last June my oldest I was able to give her her diploma from Cranbrook and

give her her diploma from Cranbrook and

give her her diploma from Cranbrook and that little three month old two nights

that little three month old two nights

that little three month old two nights ago I gave her Junior ring so I very

ago I gave her Junior ring so I very

ago I gave her Junior ring so I very think upon grateful thanks

think upon grateful thanks

think upon grateful thanks [Applause]