a few years ago my partner Rose and I we need to State for a conference I was
need to State for a conference I was
need to State for a conference I was speaking at it and Rose was doing the
speaking at it and Rose was doing the
speaking at it and Rose was doing the tourist thing and seeing the sights
tourist thing and seeing the sights
tourist thing and seeing the sights she bought a cup of coffee for a guy who
she bought a cup of coffee for a guy who
she bought a cup of coffee for a guy who was down on his luck and unfortunately
was down on his luck and unfortunately
was down on his luck and unfortunately he assaulted her he grabbed her and he
he assaulted her he grabbed her and he
he assaulted her he grabbed her and he kissed her and he wouldn’t let go
kissed her and he wouldn’t let go
kissed her and he wouldn’t let go now Rose has a trauma history of child
now Rose has a trauma history of child
now Rose has a trauma history of child sexual abuse and it felt to her like the
sexual abuse and it felt to her like the
sexual abuse and it felt to her like the longest time before she could unfreeze
longest time before she could unfreeze
longest time before she could unfreeze and break free and run and find me we
and break free and run and find me we
and break free and run and find me we had on her half afternoon later that
had on her half afternoon later that
had on her half afternoon later that night we were back at our accommodation
night we were back at our accommodation
night we were back at our accommodation and we were tucked into bed together
and we were tucked into bed together
and we were tucked into bed together holding hands and just talking it
holding hands and just talking it
holding hands and just talking it through and she had some really big
through and she had some really big
through and she had some really big questions for me like was I still
questions for me like was I still
questions for me like was I still attracted to her I said oh my love of
attracted to her I said oh my love of
attracted to her I said oh my love of course this doesn’t change how I see you
course this doesn’t change how I see you
course this doesn’t change how I see you and then she asked me would I be upset
and then she asked me would I be upset
and then she asked me would I be upset or angry if she didn’t want to be
or angry if she didn’t want to be
or angry if she didn’t want to be touched
touched
touched I said no of course not and then she
I said no of course not and then she
I said no of course not and then she asked what about if she never wanted to
asked what about if she never wanted to
asked what about if she never wanted to be touched again I said to her we will
be touched again I said to her we will
be touched again I said to her we will always be friends
always be friends
always be friends touch or sex will only ever happen if
touch or sex will only ever happen if
touch or sex will only ever happen if and when and how she wants them to this
and when and how she wants them to this
and when and how she wants them to this is emotionally safe for sex we can make
is emotionally safe for sex we can make
is emotionally safe for sex we can make it safe to turn down sex without feeling
it safe to turn down sex without feeling
it safe to turn down sex without feeling pressured or change and we can make it
pressured or change and we can make it
pressured or change and we can make it safe to initiate sex and there’s a
safe to initiate sex and there’s a
safe to initiate sex and there’s a paradox in this which is that making sex
paradox in this which is that making sex
paradox in this which is that making sex feel safer can actually be really
feel safer can actually be really
feel safer can actually be really stressful a little bit like public
stressful a little bit like public
stressful a little bit like public speaking
so when I told Rose that we would be
so when I told Rose that we would be okay if we never had sex again
okay if we never had sex again
okay if we never had sex again I was totally sincere but a part of my
I was totally sincere but a part of my
I was totally sincere but a part of my brain was freaking out what if we never
brain was freaking out what if we never
brain was freaking out what if we never had sex again what if the whole
had sex again what if the whole
had sex again what if the whole relationship changed because of this guy
relationship changed because of this guy
relationship changed because of this guy I was scared but I was also absolutely
I was scared but I was also absolutely
I was scared but I was also absolutely determined that if we did have sex it
determined that if we did have sex it
determined that if we did have sex it would not be out of a sense of
would not be out of a sense of
would not be out of a sense of obligation or because she was scared
obligation or because she was scared
obligation or because she was scared that I would leave her or worried that I
that I would leave her or worried that I
that I would leave her or worried that I would be angry with her now we did okay
would be angry with her now we did okay
would be angry with her now we did okay we’re still together she’s sitting over
we’re still together she’s sitting over
we’re still together she’s sitting over there and we did have sex again quite
there and we did have sex again quite
there and we did have sex again quite soon after this event and it was great
soon after this event and it was great
soon after this event and it was great what I found is that making sex
what I found is that making sex
what I found is that making sex emotionally safer makes it more possible
emotionally safer makes it more possible
emotionally safer makes it more possible to have good sex more often now what do
to have good sex more often now what do
to have good sex more often now what do I mean by good sex good sex can be quite
I mean by good sex good sex can be quite
I mean by good sex good sex can be quite different to how we’re used to talking
different to how we’re used to talking
different to how we’re used to talking about it it can look quite different for
about it it can look quite different for
about it it can look quite different for what we’re used to seeing in films and
what we’re used to seeing in films and
what we’re used to seeing in films and books if be a lot more diverse so as an
books if be a lot more diverse so as an
books if be a lot more diverse so as an example I once had a panic attack during
example I once had a panic attack during
example I once had a panic attack during sex and it was still good I am not
sex and it was still good I am not
sex and it was still good I am not recommending panic attacks as a sexual
recommending panic attacks as a sexual
recommending panic attacks as a sexual technique it was very embarrassing
technique it was very embarrassing
technique it was very embarrassing I cried they may have been snot
it was not sexy but the thing is Rose
it was not sexy but the thing is Rose and I are really good at helping each
and I are really good at helping each
and I are really good at helping each other feel safe so she was chilled she
other feel safe so she was chilled she
other feel safe so she was chilled she went and got me a dressing-gown to cover
went and got me a dressing-gown to cover
went and got me a dressing-gown to cover up
up
up she made me a cuppa we went on to
she made me a cuppa we went on to
she made me a cuppa we went on to something funny on TV and until I count
something funny on TV and until I count
something funny on TV and until I count down and then we went back to having sex
down and then we went back to having sex
down and then we went back to having sex and we had a great night
and we had a great night
and we had a great night emotionally safer sex can be much more
emotionally safer sex can be much more
emotionally safer sex can be much more diverse than we used to thinking about
diverse than we used to thinking about
diverse than we used to thinking about it when Rose and I first met we realized
it when Rose and I first met we realized
it when Rose and I first met we realized that one way or another we both kind of
that one way or another we both kind of
that one way or another we both kind of come to this idea that good sex was out
come to this idea that good sex was out
come to this idea that good sex was out of reach for people like us we hadn’t
of reach for people like us we hadn’t
of reach for people like us we hadn’t heard much about people with abuse
heard much about people with abuse
heard much about people with abuse histories going on to have great sex
histories going on to have great sex
histories going on to have great sex lives people with chronic illness like
lives people with chronic illness like
lives people with chronic illness like me or chronic pain conditions or anxiety
me or chronic pain conditions or anxiety
me or chronic pain conditions or anxiety we just weren’t candidates for good sex
we just weren’t candidates for good sex
we just weren’t candidates for good sex right now but of course we are
right now but of course we are
right now but of course we are because good sex is much bigger than
because good sex is much bigger than
because good sex is much bigger than that
that
that it can be good sex can be awkward it can
it can be good sex can be awkward it can
it can be good sex can be awkward it can be playful and silly
be playful and silly
be playful and silly maybe somebody farts at a really
maybe somebody farts at a really
maybe somebody farts at a really embarrassing moment well they get a leg
embarrassing moment well they get a leg
embarrassing moment well they get a leg cramp or they need to pee that’s okay it
cramp or they need to pee that’s okay it
cramp or they need to pee that’s okay it gets to be a really fantastic experience
gets to be a really fantastic experience
gets to be a really fantastic experience emotionally safer sex isn’t about making
emotionally safer sex isn’t about making
emotionally safer sex isn’t about making sex boring it’s about helping us break
sex boring it’s about helping us break
sex boring it’s about helping us break out of our really limiting ideas about
out of our really limiting ideas about
out of our really limiting ideas about sex
the reason this topic is important to me
the reason this topic is important to me is because I’ve also had experiences of
is because I’ve also had experiences of
is because I’ve also had experiences of bad sex and I’m not talking about rape
bad sex and I’m not talking about rape
bad sex and I’m not talking about rape sometimes we have this idea that if it’s
sometimes we have this idea that if it’s
sometimes we have this idea that if it’s not non-consensual sex rape molestation
not non-consensual sex rape molestation
not non-consensual sex rape molestation abuse then it’s good sex unless you’re
abuse then it’s good sex unless you’re
abuse then it’s good sex unless you’re getting something but this is hold Harry
getting something but this is hold Harry
getting something but this is hold Harry here that’s not good it’s entirely
here that’s not good it’s entirely
here that’s not good it’s entirely possible to have consensual sex with
possible to have consensual sex with
possible to have consensual sex with somebody we like and are attracted to
somebody we like and are attracted to
somebody we like and are attracted to have a leave us feeling sad lonely and
have a leave us feeling sad lonely and
have a leave us feeling sad lonely and miserable and I hated these experiences
miserable and I hated these experiences
miserable and I hated these experiences I hated not understanding why they
I hated not understanding why they
I hated not understanding why they happened and not being out a tell when I
happened and not being out a tell when I
happened and not being out a tell when I was going to have a good experience or a
was going to have a good experience or a
was going to have a good experience or a bad one even if I was with the same
bad one even if I was with the same
bad one even if I was with the same partner in fact they stressed me out so
partner in fact they stressed me out so
partner in fact they stressed me out so much I went on to develop a form of
much I went on to develop a form of
much I went on to develop a form of sexual dysfunction called vaginismus and
sexual dysfunction called vaginismus and
sexual dysfunction called vaginismus and after a relationship ended in my
after a relationship ended in my
after a relationship ended in my twenties I decided I was done I never
twenties I decided I was done I never
twenties I decided I was done I never wanted to experience bad sex again and
wanted to experience bad sex again and
wanted to experience bad sex again and until I could make sure that wasn’t
until I could make sure that wasn’t
until I could make sure that wasn’t going to happen I would just not have
going to happen I would just not have
going to happen I would just not have sex so I became celibate for the next
sex so I became celibate for the next
sex so I became celibate for the next seven years and I was not happy about
seven years and I was not happy about
seven years and I was not happy about this this is not about being asexual
this this is not about being asexual
this this is not about being asexual this was about going to the park and
this was about going to the park and
this was about going to the park and seeing the couples smuggling and being
seeing the couples smuggling and being
seeing the couples smuggling and being overwhelmed with yearning emotionally
overwhelmed with yearning emotionally
overwhelmed with yearning emotionally safer sex has meant for me that I no
safer sex has meant for me that I no
safer sex has meant for me that I no longer experience sexual dysfunction I
longer experience sexual dysfunction I
longer experience sexual dysfunction I get to have good sex and I never have
get to have good sex and I never have
get to have good sex and I never have bad sex and the reason I’m talking to
bad sex and the reason I’m talking to
bad sex and the reason I’m talking to you about this is because I’ve learned
you about this is because I’ve learned
you about this is because I’ve learned it wasn’t just me there are many things
it wasn’t just me there are many things
it wasn’t just me there are many things that can make sex stressful or bad most
that can make sex stressful or bad most
that can make sex stressful or bad most of us at some point in our lives will
of us at some point in our lives will
of us at some point in our lives will find that our sex lives also don’t fit
find that our sex lives also don’t fit
find that our sex lives also don’t fit that perfect people paradigm we’re used
that perfect people paradigm we’re used
that perfect people paradigm we’re used to seeing it might be that we are
to seeing it might be that we are
to seeing it might be that we are dealing with weight gain or libido
dealing with weight gain or libido
dealing with weight gain or libido changes because of a medication we need
changes because of a medication we need
changes because of a medication we need to be on or maybe our partner is
to be on or maybe our partner is
to be on or maybe our partner is recovering from prostate cancer or
recovering from prostate cancer or
recovering from prostate cancer or perhaps they’re trying to work out how
perhaps they’re trying to work out how
perhaps they’re trying to work out how they like to have sex since they’ve come
they like to have sex since they’ve come
they like to have sex since they’ve come out as transgender our lives and bodies
out as transgender our lives and bodies
out as transgender our lives and bodies are very diverse and that’s true safety
are very diverse and that’s true safety
are very diverse and that’s true safety also what works for me might not work
also what works for me might not work
also what works for me might not work for you it needs to be created jointly
for you it needs to be created jointly
for you it needs to be created jointly in each partnership emotionally safer
in each partnership emotionally safer
in each partnership emotionally safer sex is bigger than just those
sex is bigger than just those
sex is bigger than just those partnerships though because it’s also
partnerships though because it’s also
partnerships though because it’s also about how I feel in my body and that’s
about how I feel in my body and that’s
about how I feel in my body and that’s about her other pee
about her other pee
about her other pee all have treated me and my body and it’s
all have treated me and my body and it’s
all have treated me and my body and it’s about how they talk about sex and about
about how they talk about sex and about
about how they talk about sex and about bodies how we think about sex who we
bodies how we think about sex who we
bodies how we think about sex who we think of a sexual and what we think sex
think of a sexual and what we think sex
think of a sexual and what we think sex is for has huge implications it changes
is for has huge implications it changes
is for has huge implications it changes how we talk to our young people about
how we talk to our young people about
how we talk to our young people about sex or what sexual health resources we
sex or what sexual health resources we
sex or what sexual health resources we make available for people with
make available for people with
make available for people with disabilities or how we set up our aged
disabilities or how we set up our aged
disabilities or how we set up our aged care facilities when I talk about
care facilities when I talk about
care facilities when I talk about emotionally safer sex I get really
emotionally safer sex I get really
emotionally safer sex I get really different responses from people
different responses from people
different responses from people some folks say to me yes that’s what my
some folks say to me yes that’s what my
some folks say to me yes that’s what my partner and I do and some say to me ooh
partner and I do and some say to me ooh
partner and I do and some say to me ooh that’s really interesting come over here
that’s really interesting come over here
that’s really interesting come over here I need to learn more about and some
I need to learn more about and some
I need to learn more about and some folks head for the hills which is fine
folks head for the hills which is fine
folks head for the hills which is fine but there’s one response in particular
but there’s one response in particular
but there’s one response in particular that made me start talking about this
that made me start talking about this
that made me start talking about this more publicly so once I was facilitating
more publicly so once I was facilitating
more publicly so once I was facilitating a mental health support group and the
a mental health support group and the
a mental health support group and the topic of sex came up and I floated some
topic of sex came up and I floated some
topic of sex came up and I floated some of these ideas around somebody said to
of these ideas around somebody said to
of these ideas around somebody said to me no there is no such thing as
me no there is no such thing as
me no there is no such thing as emotionally safe for sex sex is
emotionally safe for sex sex is
emotionally safe for sex sex is inherently emotionally risky and there’s
inherently emotionally risky and there’s
inherently emotionally risky and there’s nothing that can be done about that and
nothing that can be done about that and
nothing that can be done about that and my heart broke for them I understand
my heart broke for them I understand
my heart broke for them I understand that perspective I felt that but that
that perspective I felt that but that
that perspective I felt that but that hasn’t been my experience and just as
hasn’t been my experience and just as
hasn’t been my experience and just as there are things that we can do to help
there are things that we can do to help
there are things that we can do to help make sex physically safer there are
make sex physically safer there are
make sex physically safer there are things that we can do to help make it
things that we can do to help make it
things that we can do to help make it emotionally safer so I spent a long time
emotionally safer so I spent a long time
emotionally safer so I spent a long time gathering this framework I went into
gathering this framework I went into
gathering this framework I went into sexual health counseling I’ve read a lot
sexual health counseling I’ve read a lot
sexual health counseling I’ve read a lot of books talked to some folks done a lot
of books talked to some folks done a lot
of books talked to some folks done a lot of thinking and there were a number of
of thinking and there were a number of
of thinking and there were a number of things that I found useful such as for
things that I found useful such as for
things that I found useful such as for me one of them is called resetting the
me one of them is called resetting the
me one of them is called resetting the norms that’s the name I gave it we tend
norms that’s the name I gave it we tend
norms that’s the name I gave it we tend to think of intimacy as being a kind of
to think of intimacy as being a kind of
to think of intimacy as being a kind of linear path between strangers and lovers
linear path between strangers and lovers
linear path between strangers and lovers and it only moves in one direction and
and it only moves in one direction and
and it only moves in one direction and we often think of sex as
we often think of sex as
we often think of sex as where you reach first base and then
where you reach first base and then
where you reach first base and then second base and so on I don’t do this I
second base and so on I don’t do this I
second base and so on I don’t do this I reset my normal back to platonic
reset my normal back to platonic
reset my normal back to platonic friendship so sex the night before
friendship so sex the night before
friendship so sex the night before doesn’t mean that Rose walks in on me in
doesn’t mean that Rose walks in on me in
doesn’t mean that Rose walks in on me in the shower without checking the next
the shower without checking the next
the shower without checking the next morning Oh vice versa and coming to bed
morning Oh vice versa and coming to bed
morning Oh vice versa and coming to bed naked isn’t a signal that I want to have
naked isn’t a signal that I want to have
naked isn’t a signal that I want to have sex unless that’s something rose and I
sex unless that’s something rose and I
sex unless that’s something rose and I have agreed that that means we don’t
have agreed that that means we don’t
have agreed that that means we don’t intrude on each other so I don’t have to
intrude on each other so I don’t have to
intrude on each other so I don’t have to spend a lot of energy saying knowing and
spend a lot of energy saying knowing and
spend a lot of energy saying knowing and pushing a partner away
pushing a partner away
pushing a partner away instead I get invited to say yes when I
instead I get invited to say yes when I
instead I get invited to say yes when I want to and step into being sexual
want to and step into being sexual
want to and step into being sexual another thing I found really helpful was
another thing I found really helpful was
another thing I found really helpful was working on my language around sex
working on my language around sex
working on my language around sex I needed words for body parts for
I needed words for body parts for
I needed words for body parts for activities for positions for consent and
activities for positions for consent and
activities for positions for consent and although I always knew that I could say
although I always knew that I could say
although I always knew that I could say no or stop in practice I’d really done
no or stop in practice I’d really done
no or stop in practice I’d really done that because I found it really
that because I found it really
that because I found it really uncomfortable so Rose and I practiced we
uncomfortable so Rose and I practiced we
uncomfortable so Rose and I practiced we would give each other massages and at
would give each other massages and at
would give each other massages and at some point I would say stop and she
some point I would say stop and she
some point I would say stop and she would stop and I got to experience what
would stop and I got to experience what
would stop and I got to experience what that feels like I also found that I
that feels like I also found that I
that feels like I also found that I needed more nuanced language sometimes I
needed more nuanced language sometimes I
needed more nuanced language sometimes I didn’t want to say stop I just wanted to
didn’t want to say stop I just wanted to
didn’t want to say stop I just wanted to say mmm I found that I needed a lot more
say mmm I found that I needed a lot more
say mmm I found that I needed a lot more than yes or no another thing that I
than yes or no another thing that I
than yes or no another thing that I found really useful was to kind of
found really useful was to kind of
found really useful was to kind of antique my ideas of what I’d come to
antique my ideas of what I’d come to
antique my ideas of what I’d come to think of as real sex and we can have
think of as real sex and we can have
think of as real sex and we can have some pretty fixed ideas about this we
some pretty fixed ideas about this we
some pretty fixed ideas about this we can kind of treat sex as a formula I
can kind of treat sex as a formula I
can kind of treat sex as a formula I found being bisexual was quite useful
found being bisexual was quite useful
found being bisexual was quite useful and I’m thinking this because we think
and I’m thinking this because we think
and I’m thinking this because we think of sex sometimes as being very simple
of sex sometimes as being very simple
of sex sometimes as being very simple foreplay if you’re lucky penis in vagina
foreplay if you’re lucky penis in vagina
foreplay if you’re lucky penis in vagina everyone orgasms and that’s the end of
everyone orgasms and that’s the end of
everyone orgasms and that’s the end of it that’s real sex and anything else is
it that’s real sex and anything else is
it that’s real sex and anything else is just messing around not really sex when
just messing around not really sex when
just messing around not really sex when that’s how I thought of it and a partner
that’s how I thought of it and a partner
that’s how I thought of it and a partner would suggest sex I would sort of check
would suggest sex I would sort of check
would suggest sex I would sort of check in with myself to see if I was
in with myself to see if I was
in with myself to see if I was interested by asking myself can I handle
interested by asking myself can I handle
interested by asking myself can I handle that
that
that and I don’t do that anymore now I ask
and I don’t do that anymore now I ask
and I don’t do that anymore now I ask myself do I feel like and I might not
myself do I feel like and I might not
myself do I feel like and I might not quite know yet but maybe I feel like
quite know yet but maybe I feel like
quite know yet but maybe I feel like cuddling on the couch and once I’m there
cuddling on the couch and once I’m there
cuddling on the couch and once I’m there maybe I feel like kissing and once I
maybe I feel like kissing and once I
maybe I feel like kissing and once I started kissing well who knows where
started kissing well who knows where
started kissing well who knows where that might lead I get to follow the
that might lead I get to follow the
that might lead I get to follow the thread of my desire real sex is anything
thread of my desire real sex is anything
thread of my desire real sex is anything sexual we do with our bodies anything
sexual we do with our bodies anything
sexual we do with our bodies anything sexual pleasurable consenting it can be
sexual pleasurable consenting it can be
sexual pleasurable consenting it can be about hands and mouths and sex toys when
about hands and mouths and sex toys when
about hands and mouths and sex toys when it’s about pleasure it’s not even
it’s about pleasure it’s not even
it’s about pleasure it’s not even necessarily about erections or orgasms
sex doesn’t have to be a formula it can
sex doesn’t have to be a formula it can be more like a dance so emotionally
be more like a dance so emotionally
be more like a dance so emotionally safer sex flips the scripts were used to
safer sex flips the scripts were used to
safer sex flips the scripts were used to sex stops being a performance where we
sex stops being a performance where we
sex stops being a performance where we can get judged or something we give up
can get judged or something we give up
can get judged or something we give up or do to each other and become something
or do to each other and become something
or do to each other and become something we do with the things that we think
we do with the things that we think
we do with the things that we think exclude us or hold us back often don’t
exclude us or hold us back often don’t
exclude us or hold us back often don’t have to for example
have to for example
have to for example I’ve had post-traumatic stress disorder
I’ve had post-traumatic stress disorder
I’ve had post-traumatic stress disorder which means that my body and brain wired
which means that my body and brain wired
which means that my body and brain wired themselves for a really dangerous
themselves for a really dangerous
themselves for a really dangerous environment and then stayed that way
environment and then stayed that way
environment and then stayed that way once the danger had passed and one of
once the danger had passed and one of
once the danger had passed and one of the ways it did that was by – by turning
the ways it did that was by – by turning
the ways it did that was by – by turning up some of my senses really heightening
up some of my senses really heightening
up some of my senses really heightening them so for example I used to wake up if
them so for example I used to wake up if
them so for example I used to wake up if a mouse sneezed in a house down the road
a mouse sneezed in a house down the road
a mouse sneezed in a house down the road very inconvenient but nobody was going
very inconvenient but nobody was going
very inconvenient but nobody was going to sneak up on me
to sneak up on me
to sneak up on me another sense that turned up for me was
another sense that turned up for me was
another sense that turned up for me was my sense of smell and that made life
my sense of smell and that made life
my sense of smell and that made life quite tricky for a while so I found
quite tricky for a while so I found
quite tricky for a while so I found crowds or strangers and lifts incredibly
crowds or strangers and lifts incredibly
crowds or strangers and lifts incredibly overwhelming because I would be hit with
overwhelming because I would be hit with
overwhelming because I would be hit with his intense medley of smell their
his intense medley of smell their
his intense medley of smell their shampoo their cologne the smell of their
shampoo their cologne the smell of their
shampoo their cologne the smell of their sweat and for the same reasons sex was
sweat and for the same reasons sex was
sweat and for the same reasons sex was quite challenging until I came across an
quite challenging until I came across an
quite challenging until I came across an internet forum one
internet forum one
internet forum one day of people who had really sensitive
day of people who had really sensitive
day of people who had really sensitive smell and cherished it I mean these are
smell and cherished it I mean these are
smell and cherished it I mean these are the kind of people that spent their
the kind of people that spent their
the kind of people that spent their entire first paycheck buying some rare
entire first paycheck buying some rare
entire first paycheck buying some rare perfume it was like spending my life
perfume it was like spending my life
perfume it was like spending my life drinking cask wine and stumbling into a
drinking cask wine and stumbling into a
drinking cask wine and stumbling into a fancy wine tasting event I bought a lot
fancy wine tasting event I bought a lot
fancy wine tasting event I bought a lot of perfume samples but I also started to
of perfume samples but I also started to
of perfume samples but I also started to fall in love with my tuned up senses so
fall in love with my tuned up senses so
fall in love with my tuned up senses so in rose and I wanted to have sex she
in rose and I wanted to have sex she
in rose and I wanted to have sex she would go and have a shower and she would
would go and have a shower and she would
would go and have a shower and she would use some lovely shower gel and the smell
use some lovely shower gel and the smell
use some lovely shower gel and the smell of her skin would be exquisite our
of her skin would be exquisite our
of her skin would be exquisite our differences and vulnerabilities and
differences and vulnerabilities and
differences and vulnerabilities and sensitivities the very things that make
sensitivities the very things that make
sensitivities the very things that make us human can become connection
us human can become connection
us human can become connection authenticity and pleasure the things
authenticity and pleasure the things
authenticity and pleasure the things that can make sex bad or stressful when
that can make sex bad or stressful when
that can make sex bad or stressful when we feel safer or actually the very
we feel safer or actually the very
we feel safer or actually the very things that can make it more beautiful
things that can make it more beautiful
things that can make it more beautiful more joyful and more intimate thank you
more joyful and more intimate thank you
more joyful and more intimate thank you [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
Be First to Comment