hello can you hear me there we go that feels good
feels good
feels good how’s it going everybody all right so
how’s it going everybody all right so
how’s it going everybody all right so I’m Lawrence Matthews I’m an artist
I’m Lawrence Matthews I’m an artist
I’m Lawrence Matthews I’m an artist photographer musician lots and lots of
photographer musician lots and lots of
photographer musician lots and lots of things filmmaker all that good old stuff
things filmmaker all that good old stuff
things filmmaker all that good old stuff and when Ted this whole situation
and when Ted this whole situation
and when Ted this whole situation reached out to me and they told me what
reached out to me and they told me what
reached out to me and they told me what the theme was and it was my story I was
the theme was and it was my story I was
the theme was and it was my story I was like okay I see I can do this I’m gonna
like okay I see I can do this I’m gonna
like okay I see I can do this I’m gonna be talking like high school students I’m
be talking like high school students I’m
be talking like high school students I’m gonna start from where I was in high
gonna start from where I was in high
gonna start from where I was in high school and in high school I actually I
school and in high school I actually I
school and in high school I actually I really hated it it was like really bad
really hated it it was like really bad
really hated it it was like really bad for me I wasn’t popular at all
for me I wasn’t popular at all
for me I wasn’t popular at all I wasn’t liked at all about women or my
I wasn’t liked at all about women or my
I wasn’t liked at all about women or my male peers
male peers
male peers I was really antisocial introverted but
I was really antisocial introverted but
I was really antisocial introverted but also very passionate about the things I
also very passionate about the things I
also very passionate about the things I did care about and that doesn’t make for
did care about and that doesn’t make for
did care about and that doesn’t make for a good person to be around I guess and
a good person to be around I guess and
a good person to be around I guess and because of that I was very had a lot of
because of that I was very had a lot of
because of that I was very had a lot of angst a lot of frustration listening a
angst a lot of frustration listening a
angst a lot of frustration listening a lot of Nirvana it’s really mad all the
lot of Nirvana it’s really mad all the
lot of Nirvana it’s really mad all the time
time
time had an emo phase I painted my nails
had an emo phase I painted my nails
had an emo phase I painted my nails black like I was just I really hated
black like I was just I really hated
black like I was just I really hated everybody so because of that the main
everybody so because of that the main
everybody so because of that the main thing I wanted to do when I got out of
thing I wanted to do when I got out of
thing I wanted to do when I got out of school was get out of Memphis and I
school was get out of Memphis and I
school was get out of Memphis and I blamed Memphis for a lot of my problems
blamed Memphis for a lot of my problems
blamed Memphis for a lot of my problems a lot of frustrations I was having
a lot of frustrations I was having
a lot of frustrations I was having because I felt like if we weren’t
because I felt like if we weren’t
because I felt like if we weren’t cultured enough and we didn’t understand
cultured enough and we didn’t understand
cultured enough and we didn’t understand a lot of different things and so because
a lot of different things and so because
a lot of different things and so because of that I spent a lot of time trying to
of that I spent a lot of time trying to
of that I spent a lot of time trying to plot and get out but at the same time I
plot and get out but at the same time I
plot and get out but at the same time I wasn’t that good of a student I went to
wasn’t that good of a student I went to
wasn’t that good of a student I went to school we really weren’t at least I
school we really weren’t at least I
school we really weren’t at least I really wasn’t encouraged to pursue
really wasn’t encouraged to pursue
really wasn’t encouraged to pursue college the way you supposed to so I
college the way you supposed to so I
college the way you supposed to so I didn’t even think I could go to school
didn’t even think I could go to school
didn’t even think I could go to school to be honest with you and at the time I
to be honest with you and at the time I
to be honest with you and at the time I was making art but not really the way
was making art but not really the way
was making art but not really the way that I am now was making music I just
that I am now was making music I just
that I am now was making music I just learned to play guitar playing piano
learned to play guitar playing piano
learned to play guitar playing piano writing a few songs really wasn’t into
writing a few songs really wasn’t into
writing a few songs really wasn’t into what I was doing yet so
what I was doing yet so
what I was doing yet so the options and the things that I wanted
the options and the things that I wanted
the options and the things that I wanted to do with my life were very slim at the
to do with my life were very slim at the
to do with my life were very slim at the time and I didn’t expect much from my
time and I didn’t expect much from my
time and I didn’t expect much from my life at the time because when you come
life at the time because when you come
life at the time because when you come from a certain environment you deal with
from a certain environment you deal with
from a certain environment you deal with certain people just kind of honestly
certain people just kind of honestly
certain people just kind of honestly sadly expect not to be around that long
sadly expect not to be around that long
sadly expect not to be around that long so because of that I didn’t really think
so because of that I didn’t really think
so because of that I didn’t really think about my future often I thought about
about my future often I thought about
about my future often I thought about the things I wanted to do in the dreams
the things I wanted to do in the dreams
the things I wanted to do in the dreams that I had but I knew they were very far
that I had but I knew they were very far
that I had but I knew they were very far fetched it seemed to be very far fetched
fetched it seemed to be very far fetched
fetched it seemed to be very far fetched just so happened I meet a young lady I
just so happened I meet a young lady I
just so happened I meet a young lady I fall in love with a young lady she
fall in love with a young lady she
fall in love with a young lady she decides to move to DC so what did I do
decides to move to DC so what did I do
decides to move to DC so what did I do I went to DC with her so when that
I went to DC with her so when that
I went to DC with her so when that happened to me and my mind I was like
happened to me and my mind I was like
happened to me and my mind I was like okay I’m gonna be able to do all the
okay I’m gonna be able to do all the
okay I’m gonna be able to do all the things that I want to do I’m in DC it’s
things that I want to do I’m in DC it’s
things that I want to do I’m in DC it’s a bigger city than Memphis is I can
a bigger city than Memphis is I can
a bigger city than Memphis is I can handle this it’s nothing it was the dude
handle this it’s nothing it was the dude
handle this it’s nothing it was the dude so hard it’s way harder than anybody can
so hard it’s way harder than anybody can
so hard it’s way harder than anybody can understand moving from Memphis Tennessee
understand moving from Memphis Tennessee
understand moving from Memphis Tennessee to a major metropolitan city or even
to a major metropolitan city or even
to a major metropolitan city or even trying to go to New York or whatever so
trying to go to New York or whatever so
trying to go to New York or whatever so this is when the story gets kind of like
this is when the story gets kind of like
this is when the story gets kind of like sad or whatever but so I’ve always
sad or whatever but so I’ve always
sad or whatever but so I’ve always struggled with emotional stability in
struggled with emotional stability in
struggled with emotional stability in different ways whether it’s like I’m
different ways whether it’s like I’m
different ways whether it’s like I’m very passionate or I’m like super low so
very passionate or I’m like super low so
very passionate or I’m like super low so it goes back and forth and when I was up
it goes back and forth and when I was up
it goes back and forth and when I was up there a lot of different things happen a
there a lot of different things happen a
there a lot of different things happen a lot of the environment that we were in
lot of the environment that we were in
lot of the environment that we were in the things were going so we didn’t have
the things were going so we didn’t have
the things were going so we didn’t have any money I was poor like I was
any money I was poor like I was
any money I was poor like I was struggling in schools failing out of
struggling in schools failing out of
struggling in schools failing out of every single one of my classes because I
every single one of my classes because I
every single one of my classes because I was working like a slave but then coming
was working like a slave but then coming
was working like a slave but then coming to class in the morning and like just
to class in the morning and like just
to class in the morning and like just loafing path eating
loafing path eating
loafing path eating I’m skinny now and I was like way
I’m skinny now and I was like way
I’m skinny now and I was like way skinnier then cuz I was like losing
skinnier then cuz I was like losing
skinnier then cuz I was like losing waiting like malnourished just I wasn’t
waiting like malnourished just I wasn’t
waiting like malnourished just I wasn’t taking care of myself it was my first
taking care of myself it was my first
taking care of myself it was my first time being away from home I did not act
time being away from home I did not act
time being away from home I did not act I didn’t know what to do I just was
I didn’t know what to do I just was
I didn’t know what to do I just was messing up really really bad so spend
messing up really really bad so spend
messing up really really bad so spend all this time up here I’m working I’m
all this time up here I’m working I’m
all this time up here I’m working I’m working so in my mind I realized okay
working so in my mind I realized okay
working so in my mind I realized okay I’m gonna flunk out
I’m gonna flunk out
I’m gonna flunk out but I’m pursuing music if I can get to
but I’m pursuing music if I can get to
but I’m pursuing music if I can get to New York City my second semester and my
New York City my second semester and my
New York City my second semester and my mind I’ll make it that was my whole
mind I’ll make it that was my whole
mind I’ll make it that was my whole thing regardless of what our fun
thing regardless of what our fun
thing regardless of what our fun or whatever I was like I can get to New
or whatever I was like I can get to New
or whatever I was like I can get to New York second semester I’m a recorder
York second semester I’m a recorder
York second semester I’m a recorder album while I’m in DC in my dorm and
album while I’m in DC in my dorm and
album while I’m in DC in my dorm and then next semester I’m going to New York
then next semester I’m going to New York
then next semester I’m going to New York everything will be cool I get kicked out
everything will be cool I get kicked out
everything will be cool I get kicked out of school so that didn’t happen like at
of school so that didn’t happen like at
of school so that didn’t happen like at all so I couldn’t afford to stay my
all so I couldn’t afford to stay my
all so I couldn’t afford to stay my second semester they wouldn’t give me
second semester they wouldn’t give me
second semester they wouldn’t give me any loans nothing I wrote letters to
any loans nothing I wrote letters to
any loans nothing I wrote letters to people begging them to please allow me
people begging them to please allow me
people begging them to please allow me to stay in school please please please
to stay in school please please please
to stay in school please please please I’ll be better in all this crap they
I’ll be better in all this crap they
I’ll be better in all this crap they said no I got kicked out of school had
said no I got kicked out of school had
said no I got kicked out of school had to come back to Memphis so when I come
to come back to Memphis so when I come
to come back to Memphis so when I come back to Memphis depression kind of sits
back to Memphis depression kind of sits
back to Memphis depression kind of sits on because I left Memphis with an
on because I left Memphis with an
on because I left Memphis with an attitude of I’m never coming back here
attitude of I’m never coming back here
attitude of I’m never coming back here and I was right back where I was and
and I was right back where I was and
and I was right back where I was and probably a worse situation than I had
probably a worse situation than I had
probably a worse situation than I had left with so I was broke depressed
left with so I was broke depressed
left with so I was broke depressed heartbroken frustrated all these
heartbroken frustrated all these
heartbroken frustrated all these different things so when that happened
different things so when that happened
different things so when that happened the thing about depression is that it
the thing about depression is that it
the thing about depression is that it pulls on you in different different like
pulls on you in different different like
pulls on you in different different like different ways and it makes you feel
different ways and it makes you feel
different ways and it makes you feel different ways and I became kind of
different ways and I became kind of
different ways and I became kind of suicidal not kind of I was suicidal and
suicidal not kind of I was suicidal and
suicidal not kind of I was suicidal and that was something that kind of like
that was something that kind of like
that was something that kind of like weighed on me in still ways with me to
weighed on me in still ways with me to
weighed on me in still ways with me to this day like the person is another
this day like the person is another
this day like the person is another thing you just oh I’m just gonna kick it
thing you just oh I’m just gonna kick it
thing you just oh I’m just gonna kick it off and just go on down my day like it
off and just go on down my day like it
off and just go on down my day like it kind of lingers with you in the stays
kind of lingers with you in the stays
kind of lingers with you in the stays with you and things trigger you and it
with you and things trigger you and it
with you and things trigger you and it brings you back into that emotional
brings you back into that emotional
brings you back into that emotional state so do my whole pursuing of
state so do my whole pursuing of
state so do my whole pursuing of everything that I was doing it was kind
everything that I was doing it was kind
everything that I was doing it was kind of always on my back so move back to
of always on my back so move back to
of always on my back so move back to Memphis I’m struggling I’m working a job
Memphis I’m struggling I’m working a job
Memphis I’m struggling I’m working a job I hate it to death I’d go back to the U
I hate it to death I’d go back to the U
I hate it to death I’d go back to the U of M I go back to the U of M and I’m
of M I go back to the U of M and I’m
of M I go back to the U of M and I’m still not doing well like I was doing so
still not doing well like I was doing so
still not doing well like I was doing so bad that like teachers were forget that
bad that like teachers were forget that
bad that like teachers were forget that I was on the roll like we would have
I was on the roll like we would have
I was on the roll like we would have like critiques in art class and like I
like critiques in art class and like I
like critiques in art class and like I would put my work out with everybody
would put my work out with everybody
would put my work out with everybody else’s and they would go through
else’s and they would go through
else’s and they would go through everybody’s work and like just forget
everybody’s work and like just forget
everybody’s work and like just forget about mine cuz it was so just born you
about mine cuz it was so just born you
about mine cuz it was so just born you didn’t exist and for me as an artist I
didn’t exist and for me as an artist I
didn’t exist and for me as an artist I was like I don’t know what I’m gonna do
was like I don’t know what I’m gonna do
was like I don’t know what I’m gonna do like all I can do is make art if I don’t
like all I can do is make art if I don’t
like all I can do is make art if I don’t do this I’m gonna die like I don’t
do this I’m gonna die like I don’t
do this I’m gonna die like I don’t understand what else I can do
understand what else I can do
understand what else I can do because of that I was like man I’m just
because of that I was like man I’m just
because of that I was like man I’m just going to drop out like I just had to
going to drop out like I just had to
going to drop out like I just had to drop out I can’t I can’t do this I’m not
drop out I can’t I can’t do this I’m not
drop out I can’t I can’t do this I’m not good enough all my peers are way better
good enough all my peers are way better
good enough all my peers are way better than me
than me
than me this music thing I’m trying to do the
this music thing I’m trying to do the
this music thing I’m trying to do the music thing but it’s not really working
music thing but it’s not really working
music thing but it’s not really working because the scene in Memphis is not what
because the scene in Memphis is not what
because the scene in Memphis is not what it needs to be to kind of understand the
it needs to be to kind of understand the
it needs to be to kind of understand the alternative hip-hop kind of thing that
alternative hip-hop kind of thing that
alternative hip-hop kind of thing that I’m doing this is like pre chance the
I’m doing this is like pre chance the
I’m doing this is like pre chance the rapper pre all the people who are like
rapper pre all the people who are like
rapper pre all the people who are like really cool now pre Kendrick Lamar pre
really cool now pre Kendrick Lamar pre
really cool now pre Kendrick Lamar pre kid cudi like all that nobody was cool
kid cudi like all that nobody was cool
kid cudi like all that nobody was cool like no me looking characters in hip-hop
like no me looking characters in hip-hop
like no me looking characters in hip-hop like there was none of that
like there was none of that
like there was none of that there was no guys sampling Band of
there was no guys sampling Band of
there was no guys sampling Band of Horses none of that stuff was happening
Horses none of that stuff was happening
Horses none of that stuff was happening none of this no Bon Iver none of this so
none of this no Bon Iver none of this so
none of this no Bon Iver none of this so it’s pre all of that so I’m trying to
it’s pre all of that so I’m trying to
it’s pre all of that so I’m trying to make this music trying to give it to
make this music trying to give it to
make this music trying to give it to people and they’re like what is woody
people and they’re like what is woody
people and they’re like what is woody what are you doing this pre Tyler the
what are you doing this pre Tyler the
what are you doing this pre Tyler the Creator all they’re like this is all
Creator all they’re like this is all
Creator all they’re like this is all that all that so I’m a weirdo
that all that so I’m a weirdo
that all that so I’m a weirdo essentially in a lot of people’s minds
essentially in a lot of people’s minds
essentially in a lot of people’s minds so I’m failing I’m taking ill after a
so I’m failing I’m taking ill after a
so I’m failing I’m taking ill after a laughter air like Meek Mill and it’s
laughter air like Meek Mill and it’s
laughter air like Meek Mill and it’s just not doing well I’m having bad shows
just not doing well I’m having bad shows
just not doing well I’m having bad shows all those stuff is happening so I had a
all those stuff is happening so I had a
all those stuff is happening so I had a professor
professor
professor somehow someway he saw some potential in
somehow someway he saw some potential in
somehow someway he saw some potential in me and he pulled me to the side of the
me and he pulled me to the side of the
me and he pulled me to the side of the class one day I was like dude what are
class one day I was like dude what are
class one day I was like dude what are you doing you have the vision the ideas
you doing you have the vision the ideas
you doing you have the vision the ideas and the abilities to do something really
and the abilities to do something really
and the abilities to do something really really great with your art but your bull
really great with your art but your bull
really great with your art but your bull crappin like he liked your you’re just
crappin like he liked your you’re just
crappin like he liked your you’re just half doing everything and I was like man
half doing everything and I was like man
half doing everything and I was like man I don’t even think I can do this you
I don’t even think I can do this you
I don’t even think I can do this you know and he sat with me and worked with
know and he sat with me and worked with
know and he sat with me and worked with me and pretty much pulled out of me the
me and pretty much pulled out of me the
me and pretty much pulled out of me the mentality that I needed to be able to
mentality that I needed to be able to
mentality that I needed to be able to pursue what I wanted to do like I said
pursue what I wanted to do like I said
pursue what I wanted to do like I said all I all I know is to create all I all
all I all I know is to create all I all
all I all I know is to create all I all I do is create that’s what I do now and
I was very very lost very frustrated
I was very very lost very frustrated very low and so what I decided to do was
very low and so what I decided to do was
very low and so what I decided to do was make work about the things I was
make work about the things I was
make work about the things I was interested in the most
interested in the most
interested in the most before I was trying to like kind of fit
before I was trying to like kind of fit
before I was trying to like kind of fit in and make work that I felt like
in and make work that I felt like
in and make work that I felt like academically would take me where I need
academically would take me where I need
academically would take me where I need to go and I just decided I’m just gonna
to go and I just decided I’m just gonna
to go and I just decided I’m just gonna pursue what I want to do regardless of
pursue what I want to do regardless of
pursue what I want to do regardless of how anybody feels about it
how anybody feels about it
how anybody feels about it I’m very very interested in black
I’m very very interested in black
I’m very very interested in black history just black I’m in I’m into it so
history just black I’m in I’m into it so
history just black I’m in I’m into it so I’m very into it so I started making
I’m very into it so I started making
I’m very into it so I started making work about that I started writing music
work about that I started writing music
work about that I started writing music about how I was feeling about my angst
about how I was feeling about my angst
about how I was feeling about my angst about my frustrations about my mental
about my frustrations about my mental
about my frustrations about my mental state about my emotional state and I
state about my emotional state and I
state about my emotional state and I couldn’t get ahead I was making good
couldn’t get ahead I was making good
couldn’t get ahead I was making good stuff but I couldn’t get ahead couldnt
stuff but I couldn’t get ahead couldnt
stuff but I couldn’t get ahead couldnt get ahead and I was like all right
get ahead and I was like all right
get ahead and I was like all right there’s something taking up my time and
there’s something taking up my time and
there’s something taking up my time and it was work I was working at American
it was work I was working at American
it was work I was working at American Eagle and it sucked so bad
Eagle and it sucked so bad
Eagle and it sucked so bad Oh sucked okay I was working this job
Oh sucked okay I was working this job
Oh sucked okay I was working this job went to another job was working retail
went to another job was working retail
went to another job was working retail and every time I was there folding jeans
and every time I was there folding jeans
and every time I was there folding jeans I was like man I would much rather be
I was like man I would much rather be
I was like man I would much rather be writing songs I would much rather be
writing songs I would much rather be
writing songs I would much rather be painting paintings I would much rather
painting paintings I would much rather
painting paintings I would much rather be writing films or something like that
be writing films or something like that
be writing films or something like that and it came to a head where I was like I
and it came to a head where I was like I
and it came to a head where I was like I got I’m gonna make a decision I’m gonna
got I’m gonna make a decision I’m gonna
got I’m gonna make a decision I’m gonna quit this job and I’m put 100% of my
quit this job and I’m put 100% of my
quit this job and I’m put 100% of my energy into my craft and if I fail I’ll
energy into my craft and if I fail I’ll
energy into my craft and if I fail I’ll just go back to being normal or whatever
just go back to being normal or whatever
just go back to being normal or whatever so I quit the job I’m broke as a joke
so I quit the job I’m broke as a joke
so I quit the job I’m broke as a joke for like six months and I’m just like
for like six months and I’m just like
for like six months and I’m just like eating like bad every day but I’m
eating like bad every day but I’m
eating like bad every day but I’m painting every day my whole energy
painting every day my whole energy
painting every day my whole energy everything I’m doing I don’t know if you
everything I’m doing I don’t know if you
everything I’m doing I don’t know if you guys know about 10,000 hours I really
guys know about 10,000 hours I really
guys know about 10,000 hours I really put 10,000 hours of my time into my
put 10,000 hours of my time into my
put 10,000 hours of my time into my craft into my work I sacrificed so much
craft into my work I sacrificed so much
craft into my work I sacrificed so much I was like forget friends my
I was like forget friends my
I was like forget friends my relationship starts suffering like my
relationship starts suffering like my
relationship starts suffering like my family life starts suffering cuz I just
family life starts suffering cuz I just
family life starts suffering cuz I just like I knew that if I didn’t figure out
like I knew that if I didn’t figure out
like I knew that if I didn’t figure out what I was gonna do with my
what I was gonna do with my
what I was gonna do with my I would look up and nothing had happened
I would look up and nothing had happened
I would look up and nothing had happened and I knew that I always felt like I was
and I knew that I always felt like I was
and I knew that I always felt like I was running out of time for some reason and
running out of time for some reason and
running out of time for some reason and I don’t know why I’m 25 now I don’t feel
I don’t know why I’m 25 now I don’t feel
I don’t know why I’m 25 now I don’t feel like that anymore but at the time I felt
like that anymore but at the time I felt
like that anymore but at the time I felt like I was running out of time and I
like I was running out of time and I
like I was running out of time and I started doing this and started working
started doing this and started working
started doing this and started working my work got better I painted all summer
my work got better I painted all summer
my work got better I painted all summer I got together with a friend in a
I got together with a friend in a
I got together with a friend in a Arkansas September it was like September
Arkansas September it was like September
Arkansas September it was like September we decided to put our art show together
we decided to put our art show together
we decided to put our art show together I said all right
I said all right
I said all right if I do this art show and a succeeds I’m
if I do this art show and a succeeds I’m
if I do this art show and a succeeds I’m gonna keep making art I’m gonna keep
gonna keep making art I’m gonna keep
gonna keep making art I’m gonna keep doing this
doing this
doing this because we knew statistically it’s
because we knew statistically it’s
because we knew statistically it’s dating they’re impossible to make a
dating they’re impossible to make a
dating they’re impossible to make a career out of being an artist there’s a
career out of being an artist there’s a
career out of being an artist there’s a lot of art related fields like a lot of
lot of art related fields like a lot of
lot of art related fields like a lot of art related careers surrounding being an
art related careers surrounding being an
art related careers surrounding being an artist but the actual artists most times
artist but the actual artists most times
artist but the actual artists most times you hear the the stereotype of starving
you hear the the stereotype of starving
you hear the the stereotype of starving artists the struggling artists and also
artists the struggling artists and also
artists the struggling artists and also the miss and so I knew that the
the miss and so I knew that the
the miss and so I knew that the percentage of success was very small but
percentage of success was very small but
percentage of success was very small but I’m a very determined person it was
I’m a very determined person it was
I’m a very determined person it was really always do or die for me because I
really always do or die for me because I
really always do or die for me because I wasn’t oh I’m a great math I’m great in
wasn’t oh I’m a great math I’m great in
wasn’t oh I’m a great math I’m great in math like I sucked in math like I’m
math like I sucked in math like I’m
math like I sucked in math like I’m something every other academic thing
something every other academic thing
something every other academic thing that I was doing I sucked in all of it
that I was doing I sucked in all of it
that I was doing I sucked in all of it so I knew that if I didn’t become an
so I knew that if I didn’t become an
so I knew that if I didn’t become an artist and I didn’t figure out a way to
artist and I didn’t figure out a way to
artist and I didn’t figure out a way to to live off of that I was gonna turn
to live off of that I was gonna turn
to live off of that I was gonna turn into dust or whatever so we have to show
into dust or whatever so we have to show
into dust or whatever so we have to show I sold half the work that I put in there
I sold half the work that I put in there
I sold half the work that I put in there and made more money that night then I
and made more money that night then I
and made more money that night then I would have if I stayed all that time at
would have if I stayed all that time at
would have if I stayed all that time at the job so I said alright I can do this
the job so I said alright I can do this
the job so I said alright I can do this started painting use that money REE up
started painting use that money REE up
started painting use that money REE up did like took that money put it into
did like took that money put it into
did like took that money put it into more paintings kept painting made better
more paintings kept painting made better
more paintings kept painting made better work got better resources just kept
work got better resources just kept
work got better resources just kept working kept working kept working I went
working kept working kept working I went
working kept working kept working I went from being the kid that got ignored and
from being the kid that got ignored and
from being the kid that got ignored and critiques to the kid that was winning
critiques to the kid that was winning
critiques to the kid that was winning awards for best to show at the school
awards for best to show at the school
awards for best to show at the school you know student exhibitions and stuff
you know student exhibitions and stuff
you know student exhibitions and stuff like that so through all this time I’m
like that so through all this time I’m
like that so through all this time I’m going I’m going I’m going
going I’m going I’m going
going I’m going I’m going then my grandmother passes away and that
then my grandmother passes away and that
then my grandmother passes away and that sent me right back into the mental space
sent me right back into the mental space
sent me right back into the mental space that I was when I was living in Maryland
that I was when I was living in Maryland
that I was when I was living in Maryland and I was depressed again I was
and I was depressed again I was
and I was depressed again I was frustrated again
frustrated again
frustrated again and what I decided to do was to make
and what I decided to do was to make
and what I decided to do was to make work about that feeling about what I
work about that feeling about what I
work about that feeling about what I wanted about nostalgia about wanting to
wanted about nostalgia about wanting to
wanted about nostalgia about wanting to be young again when you know everything
be young again when you know everything
be young again when you know everything was better and your parents weren’t
was better and your parents weren’t
was better and your parents weren’t divorced and you know all these
divorced and you know all these
divorced and you know all these different things all these different
different things all these different
different things all these different themes that I felt like I was dealing
themes that I felt like I was dealing
themes that I felt like I was dealing with my life started making work about
with my life started making work about
with my life started making work about it and that work started getting my name
it and that work started getting my name
it and that work started getting my name out started get my name out more and
out started get my name out more and
out started get my name out more and more and more and then graduated school
more and more and then graduated school
more and more and then graduated school like super top of my class which was
like super top of my class which was
like super top of my class which was crazy because I was always like never in
crazy because I was always like never in
crazy because I was always like never in the school but like I was like the top
the school but like I was like the top
the school but like I was like the top art student where I went and was winning
art student where I went and was winning
art student where I went and was winning awards was having shows in commercial
awards was having shows in commercial
awards was having shows in commercial galleries while I was still in school
galleries while I was still in school
galleries while I was still in school and all these different things that were
and all these different things that were
and all these different things that were happening that I didn’t ever expect or
happening that I didn’t ever expect or
happening that I didn’t ever expect or see for myself and that’s kind of the
see for myself and that’s kind of the
see for myself and that’s kind of the message that I have for you guys like
message that I have for you guys like
message that I have for you guys like being high school students and I know
being high school students and I know
being high school students and I know there’s more people here but it’s
there’s more people here but it’s
there’s more people here but it’s predominately I feel like high school
predominately I feel like high school
predominately I feel like high school students but it’s just like where you
students but it’s just like where you
students but it’s just like where you are right now isn’t necessarily where
are right now isn’t necessarily where
are right now isn’t necessarily where you will be a few years from now whether
you will be a few years from now whether
you will be a few years from now whether it be three years from now if you talk
it be three years from now if you talk
it be three years from now if you talk to me at 21 I wouldn’t believe any of
to me at 21 I wouldn’t believe any of
to me at 21 I wouldn’t believe any of the things I’ve been able to accomplish
the things I’ve been able to accomplish
the things I’ve been able to accomplish since I got on a certain type of role or
since I got on a certain type of role or
since I got on a certain type of role or certain type of path but in the same
certain type of path but in the same
certain type of path but in the same thing for you talk to me it’s 17 like I
thing for you talk to me it’s 17 like I
thing for you talk to me it’s 17 like I didn’t know that I would be able to
didn’t know that I would be able to
didn’t know that I would be able to accomplish some of the things I’ve been
accomplish some of the things I’ve been
accomplish some of the things I’ve been able to accomplish with music or art and
able to accomplish with music or art and
able to accomplish with music or art and win awards and stuff like that
win awards and stuff like that
win awards and stuff like that I’ve only been painting for a few years
I’ve only been painting for a few years
I’ve only been painting for a few years but I’ve won awards for it I’ve done
but I’ve won awards for it I’ve done
but I’ve won awards for it I’ve done amazing things with my painting is
amazing things with my painting is
amazing things with my painting is reached all over the world it’s been
reached all over the world it’s been
reached all over the world it’s been everywhere that it needs to go like I
everywhere that it needs to go like I
everywhere that it needs to go like I didn’t see none of that I wanted it but
didn’t see none of that I wanted it but
didn’t see none of that I wanted it but I didn’t know I was capable of it I
I didn’t know I was capable of it I
I didn’t know I was capable of it I didn’t know that the world will respond
didn’t know that the world will respond
didn’t know that the world will respond to it I don’t know that people respond
to it I don’t know that people respond
to it I don’t know that people respond to it the same thing with my music I
to it the same thing with my music I
to it the same thing with my music I didn’t know that none of that was gonna
didn’t know that none of that was gonna
didn’t know that none of that was gonna happen for me the same thing with
happen for me the same thing with
happen for me the same thing with filmmaking I just was trying all this
filmmaking I just was trying all this
filmmaking I just was trying all this stuff and when I look back at my life
stuff and when I look back at my life
stuff and when I look back at my life and I look back when I was a kid all of
and I look back when I was a kid all of
and I look back when I was a kid all of the things I’m doing today
the things I’m doing today
the things I’m doing today are a manifestation of things that I was
are a manifestation of things that I was
are a manifestation of things that I was playing around with when I was a kid so
playing around with when I was a kid so
playing around with when I was a kid so I grew up skateboarding obviously grew
I grew up skateboarding obviously grew
I grew up skateboarding obviously grew up skateboarding and we used to shoot
up skateboarding and we used to shoot
up skateboarding and we used to shoot the videos so I had
the videos so I had
the videos so I had experience behind the camera experience
experience behind the camera experience
experience behind the camera experience with editing experience with all these
with editing experience with all these
with editing experience with all these different things and that translated
different things and that translated
different things and that translated into what I wanted to make films and
into what I wanted to make films and
into what I wanted to make films and documentaries and different things like
documentaries and different things like
documentaries and different things like that and the same thing with the music I
that and the same thing with the music I
that and the same thing with the music I was always around the music I was always
was always around the music I was always
was always around the music I was always around the art and it just manifested
around the art and it just manifested
around the art and it just manifested itself into Who I am today so started
itself into Who I am today so started
itself into Who I am today so started doing well got rid of that annoying job
doing well got rid of that annoying job
doing well got rid of that annoying job and people were still kind of like it’s
and people were still kind of like it’s
and people were still kind of like it’s nice that you’re you know doing well and
nice that you’re you know doing well and
nice that you’re you know doing well and stuff like that but you’re not really
stuff like that but you’re not really
stuff like that but you’re not really making that much money you can’t take
making that much money you can’t take
making that much money you can’t take care of yourself you should probably get
care of yourself you should probably get
care of yourself you should probably get a job and it was like no I stopped doing
a job and it was like no I stopped doing
a job and it was like no I stopped doing that to do this just trust me just wait
that to do this just trust me just wait
that to do this just trust me just wait on me for a second
on me for a second
on me for a second so I keep working I keep working start
so I keep working I keep working start
so I keep working I keep working start getting more and more opportunities
getting more and more opportunities
getting more and more opportunities start getting bigger opportunities and
start getting bigger opportunities and
start getting bigger opportunities and next thing you know I’m in museums I’m
next thing you know I’m in museums I’m
next thing you know I’m in museums I’m performing in museums I’m showing my art
performing in museums I’m showing my art
performing in museums I’m showing my art and plethora of galleries all over the
and plethora of galleries all over the
and plethora of galleries all over the mid-south the people that I’m connected
mid-south the people that I’m connected
mid-south the people that I’m connected to the people that I’ve networked with
to the people that I’ve networked with
to the people that I’ve networked with are people that I never ever thought
are people that I never ever thought
are people that I never ever thought that I would meet never thought that I
that I would meet never thought that I
that I would meet never thought that I would come in contact with when I was
would come in contact with when I was
would come in contact with when I was growing up in Memphis Tennessee you know
growing up in Memphis Tennessee you know
growing up in Memphis Tennessee you know it’s like a young black kid like I had
it’s like a young black kid like I had
it’s like a young black kid like I had no idea that this future was for me and
no idea that this future was for me and
no idea that this future was for me and every single blessing and opportunity
every single blessing and opportunity
every single blessing and opportunity that I’ve been able to give
that I’ve been able to give
that I’ve been able to give is a product of a larger plan or a
is a product of a larger plan or a
is a product of a larger plan or a larger thing like I always wanted to be
larger thing like I always wanted to be
larger thing like I always wanted to be a vessel I always wanted to be somebody
a vessel I always wanted to be somebody
a vessel I always wanted to be somebody who spoke for other people who inspired
who spoke for other people who inspired
who spoke for other people who inspired other people through what I had and do
other people through what I had and do
other people through what I had and do my talents and stuff like that I knew I
my talents and stuff like that I knew I
my talents and stuff like that I knew I had gifts I knew that I was meant to do
had gifts I knew that I was meant to do
had gifts I knew that I was meant to do something with my life but I wasn’t sure
something with my life but I wasn’t sure
something with my life but I wasn’t sure what it was because there was so much
what it was because there was so much
what it was because there was so much clouding it so many external life
clouding it so many external life
clouding it so many external life factors that kind of blocked me from
factors that kind of blocked me from
factors that kind of blocked me from those things early on and with that I
those things early on and with that I
those things early on and with that I started seeing the manifestation of the
started seeing the manifestation of the
started seeing the manifestation of the things that I could be coming to cook
things that I could be coming to cook
things that I could be coming to cook the things I could do and that’s kind of
the things I could do and that’s kind of
the things I could do and that’s kind of my main message just like man like you
my main message just like man like you
my main message just like man like you might be really messed up right now like
might be really messed up right now like
might be really messed up right now like you might be really lost you might be
you might be really lost you might be
you might be really lost you might be really depressed you might be even be
really depressed you might be even be
really depressed you might be even be suicidal and if you can beat those
suicidal and if you can beat those
suicidal and if you can beat those things like I beat those things like if
things like I beat those things like if
things like I beat those things like if that nobody can tell me I can’t create
that nobody can tell me I can’t create
that nobody can tell me I can’t create something nobody can tell me I can’t do
something nobody can tell me I can’t do
something nobody can tell me I can’t do anything because I beat things way
anything because I beat things way
anything because I beat things way harder than that way deeper than that I
harder than that way deeper than that I
harder than that way deeper than that I beat depression I beat suicide I beat
beat depression I beat suicide I beat
beat depression I beat suicide I beat people hating on your down in your name
people hating on your down in your name
people hating on your down in your name and stuff like that like I’m doing stuff
and stuff like that like I’m doing stuff
and stuff like that like I’m doing stuff down there every week that I never
down there every week that I never
down there every week that I never thought I would ever do with my life and
thought I would ever do with my life and
thought I would ever do with my life and I tell people all the time and like if I
I tell people all the time and like if I
I tell people all the time and like if I was not here tomorrow
was not here tomorrow
was not here tomorrow I’ve already surpassed everything I ever
I’ve already surpassed everything I ever
I’ve already surpassed everything I ever thought I would be able to do with my
thought I would be able to do with my
thought I would be able to do with my life because I just had no clue cuz
life because I just had no clue cuz
life because I just had no clue cuz nobody around me didn’t in those things
nobody around me didn’t in those things
nobody around me didn’t in those things none of my peers none of my friends a
none of my peers none of my friends a
none of my peers none of my friends a lot of them are dead in jail like you
lot of them are dead in jail like you
lot of them are dead in jail like you know I’m selling drugs like a lot of
know I’m selling drugs like a lot of
know I’m selling drugs like a lot of different things so I never thought
different things so I never thought
different things so I never thought being a successful visual artist a
being a successful visual artist a
being a successful visual artist a successful musician a successful
successful musician a successful
successful musician a successful filmmaker whatever happened for me and
filmmaker whatever happened for me and
filmmaker whatever happened for me and I’ve literally been walking in there and
I’ve literally been walking in there and
I’ve literally been walking in there and I’m not all I’m not exactly where I want
I’m not all I’m not exactly where I want
I’m not all I’m not exactly where I want to be in my life but I’m very very close
to be in my life but I’m very very close
to be in my life but I’m very very close yeah I’m saying I’m only 25 so it’s like
yeah I’m saying I’m only 25 so it’s like
yeah I’m saying I’m only 25 so it’s like if I’ve been able to do this and this a
if I’ve been able to do this and this a
if I’ve been able to do this and this a little amount of time I can’t imagine
little amount of time I can’t imagine
little amount of time I can’t imagine what I’ll be able to do when I’m 60 when
what I’ll be able to do when I’m 60 when
what I’ll be able to do when I’m 60 when I’m 70 or whatever and that’s kind of my
I’m 70 or whatever and that’s kind of my
I’m 70 or whatever and that’s kind of my main message it’s like man like despite
main message it’s like man like despite
main message it’s like man like despite where you are in your life like you can
where you are in your life like you can
where you are in your life like you can do more you can accomplish more you can
do more you can accomplish more you can
do more you can accomplish more you can see more
see more
see more and you just got to keep working you
and you just got to keep working you
and you just got to keep working you can’t let people distract you you can’t
can’t let people distract you you can’t
can’t let people distract you you can’t let people hold you down you can’t let
let people hold you down you can’t let
let people hold you down you can’t let depression or any of these external
depression or any of these external
depression or any of these external things or peer pressure any of these
things or peer pressure any of these
things or peer pressure any of these things kind of bind you and keep you in
things kind of bind you and keep you in
things kind of bind you and keep you in a place where you you aren’t able to
a place where you you aren’t able to
a place where you you aren’t able to pursue your passion find what you want
pursue your passion find what you want
pursue your passion find what you want to do with your life and pursue it at
to do with your life and pursue it at
to do with your life and pursue it at all costs
all costs
all costs yeah I’m saying all costs follow it
yeah I’m saying all costs follow it
yeah I’m saying all costs follow it completely and utterly in every single
completely and utterly in every single
completely and utterly in every single way because you will not regret it at
way because you will not regret it at
way because you will not regret it at the end of your life you’ll look up and
the end of your life you’ll look up and
the end of your life you’ll look up and be like that like I was able to do this
be like that like I was able to do this
be like that like I was able to do this and inspire so many people but if you
and inspire so many people but if you
and inspire so many people but if you live based on what other people want you
live based on what other people want you
live based on what other people want you to do what people think you are capable
to do what people think you are capable
to do what people think you are capable of doing you won’t never reach any of
of doing you won’t never reach any of
of doing you won’t never reach any of that stuff you know I’m saying and hey
that stuff you know I’m saying and hey
that stuff you know I’m saying and hey that’s all I just want to share with you
that’s all I just want to share with you
that’s all I just want to share with you guys I’m sure there’s like a million
guys I’m sure there’s like a million
guys I’m sure there’s like a million other things I could say but thank you
other things I could say but thank you
other things I could say but thank you guys so much this has been a beautiful
guys so much this has been a beautiful
guys so much this has been a beautiful honor thank you
”
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