Do You Have More Heart Than Scars? | Zackary Paben | TEDxAsheville

and may the words of my mouth and the

and may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart this is a story

meditations of my heart this is a story

meditations of my heart this is a story of strength and redemption that begins

of strength and redemption that begins

of strength and redemption that begins with me meeting a young man named Billy

with me meeting a young man named Billy

with me meeting a young man named Billy and Billy had a metal leg but I didn’t

and Billy had a metal leg but I didn’t

and Billy had a metal leg but I didn’t pay attention to that we were at the

pay attention to that we were at the

pay attention to that we were at the pool I noticed that he had a pin

pool I noticed that he had a pin

pool I noticed that he had a pin sticking out of his finger and I walked

sticking out of his finger and I walked

sticking out of his finger and I walked up to him said I want to take a look at

up to him said I want to take a look at

up to him said I want to take a look at your hand and try not to throw up now

your hand and try not to throw up now

your hand and try not to throw up now his thought with that was that’s an

his thought with that was that’s an

his thought with that was that’s an interesting approach I haven’t been

interesting approach I haven’t been

interesting approach I haven’t been greeted with that before so when I was a

greeted with that before so when I was a

greeted with that before so when I was a little boy I had a pin in my finger too

little boy I had a pin in my finger too

little boy I had a pin in my finger too and I want it to be I want to look in

and I want it to be I want to look in

and I want it to be I want to look in the face of the thing that scared me

the face of the thing that scared me

the face of the thing that scared me so he said well why don’t we go do a

so he said well why don’t we go do a

so he said well why don’t we go do a tough mudder together now a tough mudder

tough mudder together now a tough mudder

tough mudder together now a tough mudder is a wonderful and terrible idea it’s

is a wonderful and terrible idea it’s

is a wonderful and terrible idea it’s ten miles long with military obstacles

ten miles long with military obstacles

ten miles long with military obstacles he says let’s go let’s come up with a

he says let’s go let’s come up with a

he says let’s go let’s come up with a team name so I came up with the worst

team name so I came up with the worst

team name so I came up with the worst idea of team names I think I could come

idea of team names I think I could come

idea of team names I think I could come up with hoping that he would say now

up with hoping that he would say now

up with hoping that he would say now let’s not do this so I said we’ll be

let’s not do this so I said we’ll be

let’s not do this so I said we’ll be teamed ups and Stubbs he goes great I’ll

teamed ups and Stubbs he goes great I’ll

teamed ups and Stubbs he goes great I’ll make a t-shirt so we had this t-shirt

make a t-shirt so we had this t-shirt

make a t-shirt so we had this t-shirt and he took the perfect man of like you

and he took the perfect man of like you

and he took the perfect man of like you know the guy that’s standing out with

know the guy that’s standing out with

know the guy that’s standing out with the arms and legs and all that he took

the arms and legs and all that he took

the arms and legs and all that he took that da Vinci man and he he cut the leg

that da Vinci man and he he cut the leg

that da Vinci man and he he cut the leg off and the fingers and the hands and so

off and the fingers and the hands and so

off and the fingers and the hands and so that was our guy so there was seventeen

that was our guy so there was seventeen

that was our guy so there was seventeen of us and that was on the 12 of us re

of us and that was on the 12 of us re

of us and that was on the 12 of us re the 27th of October 2012 there was 17 of

the 27th of October 2012 there was 17 of

the 27th of October 2012 there was 17 of us and we completed that race and at the

us and we completed that race and at the

us and we completed that race and at the bottom of the shirt I bleep I added like

bottom of the shirt I bleep I added like

bottom of the shirt I bleep I added like the soften a bit said has more harkins

the soften a bit said has more harkins

the soften a bit said has more harkins cars when when the Boston bombing took

cars when when the Boston bombing took

cars when when the Boston bombing took place we decided to change the name to

place we decided to change the name to

place we decided to change the name to more heart than scars and we wanted to

more heart than scars and we wanted to

more heart than scars and we wanted to change our focus to let people know that

change our focus to let people know that

change our focus to let people know that we’ve recently injured that their lives

we’ve recently injured that their lives

we’ve recently injured that their lives were not going to be limited by the

were not going to be limited by the

were not going to be limited by the scars that they carried and so he went

scars that they carried and so he went

scars that they carried and so he went on a quest to reach out so today we’re

on a quest to reach out so today we’re

on a quest to reach out so today we’re going to talk about questions quest

going to talk about questions quest

going to talk about questions quest obstacles resilience and independence

obstacles resilience and independence

obstacles resilience and independence fit faith love hope and heart it begins

fit faith love hope and heart it begins

fit faith love hope and heart it begins with a question

when I was 12 years old I’m in that

when I was 12 years old I’m in that picture there you can’t see that I’m

picture there you can’t see that I’m

picture there you can’t see that I’m ugly crying there’s a lot of snot coming

ugly crying there’s a lot of snot coming

ugly crying there’s a lot of snot coming out of my nose there’s there’s a little

out of my nose there’s there’s a little

out of my nose there’s there’s a little bit of blood on my fingers cuz I was

bit of blood on my fingers cuz I was

bit of blood on my fingers cuz I was holding on so tightly there my legs are

holding on so tightly there my legs are

holding on so tightly there my legs are shaking I probably peed a little bit I

shaking I probably peed a little bit I

shaking I probably peed a little bit I threw up too and so because when I was 8

threw up too and so because when I was 8

threw up too and so because when I was 8 years old

years old

years old it means makes sense I was 8 years old

it means makes sense I was 8 years old

it means makes sense I was 8 years old and I was up on top of a tree house and

and I was up on top of a tree house and

and I was up on top of a tree house and I tied a rope around myself and I was

I tied a rope around myself and I was

I tied a rope around myself and I was gonna jump off like in those movies and

gonna jump off like in those movies and

gonna jump off like in those movies and be like a mountain man and I jumped back

be like a mountain man and I jumped back

be like a mountain man and I jumped back great and then I didn’t tie the rope

great and then I didn’t tie the rope

great and then I didn’t tie the rope correctly and I fell 20 feet and broke

correctly and I fell 20 feet and broke

correctly and I fell 20 feet and broke my arm so I’m there and I’m nervous and

my arm so I’m there and I’m nervous and

my arm so I’m there and I’m nervous and you can think well that’s reasonable for

you can think well that’s reasonable for

you can think well that’s reasonable for him to be scared but more than that the

him to be scared but more than that the

him to be scared but more than that the camp counselor said to me you’re safe

camp counselor said to me you’re safe

camp counselor said to me you’re safe you’re holding on to a cable and cables

you’re holding on to a cable and cables

you’re holding on to a cable and cables are strong but that didn’t give me any

are strong but that didn’t give me any

are strong but that didn’t give me any peace at all when I was 10 years old I

peace at all when I was 10 years old I

peace at all when I was 10 years old I was visiting my grandparents and my

was visiting my grandparents and my

was visiting my grandparents and my grandmother has a piece of adaptive

grandmother has a piece of adaptive

grandmother has a piece of adaptive equipment that she used to she would

equipment that she used to she would

equipment that she used to she would roll into her wheelchair at the top of

roll into her wheelchair at the top of

roll into her wheelchair at the top of the steep hill to get down to her house

the steep hill to get down to her house

the steep hill to get down to her house and it was like the size of the picnic

and it was like the size of the picnic

and it was like the size of the picnic table she had roll in

table she had roll in

table she had roll in ride down the track the engine was at

ride down the track the engine was at

ride down the track the engine was at the bottom and she’d roll out well of

the bottom and she’d roll out well of

the bottom and she’d roll out well of course I was gonna play with that thing

course I was gonna play with that thing

course I was gonna play with that thing so I did in fact I was a big fan of

so I did in fact I was a big fan of

so I did in fact I was a big fan of Superman and you know faster than a

Superman and you know faster than a

Superman and you know faster than a speeding bullet more powerful than a

speeding bullet more powerful than a

speeding bullet more powerful than a locomotive

locomotive

locomotive so what I did is I got down real low and

so what I did is I got down real low and

so what I did is I got down real low and I grabbed on to the cable and I scooted

I grabbed on to the cable and I scooted

I grabbed on to the cable and I scooted up as far as I could because as a

up as far as I could because as a

up as far as I could because as a ten-year-old I figured it’d be bad to be

ten-year-old I figured it’d be bad to be

ten-year-old I figured it’d be bad to be run over so I pulled hand over hand and

run over so I pulled hand over hand and

run over so I pulled hand over hand and I leaned back just a little bit and the

I leaned back just a little bit and the

I leaned back just a little bit and the cable and the pulley met and fed my

cable and the pulley met and fed my

cable and the pulley met and fed my fingers around I screamed my friend to

fingers around I screamed my friend to

fingers around I screamed my friend to stop he turned it off and ran off and

stop he turned it off and ran off and

stop he turned it off and ran off and now I’m stuck they were pinched they

now I’m stuck they were pinched they

now I’m stuck they were pinched they were not severed all the way so I had a

were not severed all the way so I had a

were not severed all the way so I had a pull as hard as I could to tear these

pull as hard as I could to tear these

pull as hard as I could to tear these fingers free and then I tried to get up

fingers free and then I tried to get up

fingers free and then I tried to get up here but there wasn’t enough torque I

here but there wasn’t enough torque I

here but there wasn’t enough torque I couldn’t get up so I had to grab onto my

couldn’t get up so I had to grab onto my

couldn’t get up so I had to grab onto my wrist and stand up and turn and break my

wrist and stand up and turn and break my

wrist and stand up and turn and break my radius and my ulna to pull my hand free

radius and my ulna to pull my hand free

radius and my ulna to pull my hand free so now I’m at this high ropes course and

so now I’m at this high ropes course and

so now I’m at this high ropes course and I’m losing my mind

I’m losing my mind

I’m losing my mind and Bernie Miller the camp counselor guy

and Bernie Miller the camp counselor guy

and Bernie Miller the camp counselor guy didn’t understand they that he’d

didn’t understand they that he’d

didn’t understand they that he’d understand about trauma he didn’t been

understand about trauma he didn’t been

understand about trauma he didn’t been through a trauma training he wasn’t a

through a trauma training he wasn’t a

through a trauma training he wasn’t a counselor he was just a young man that

counselor he was just a young man that

counselor he was just a young man that decided to show up in care and kindly

decided to show up in care and kindly

decided to show up in care and kindly and lovingly talked me through it well I

and lovingly talked me through it well I

and lovingly talked me through it well I finished that day and then next year I

finished that day and then next year I

finished that day and then next year I came back I didn’t pee in my pants at

came back I didn’t pee in my pants at

came back I didn’t pee in my pants at all when I did it

all when I did it

all when I did it by the time I’m 19 I’m working at Camp

by the time I’m 19 I’m working at Camp

by the time I’m 19 I’m working at Camp Mondamin up on that very same obstacle

Mondamin up on that very same obstacle

Mondamin up on that very same obstacle helping other kids get through it it’s

helping other kids get through it it’s

helping other kids get through it it’s just gotta begin with a question and

just gotta begin with a question and

just gotta begin with a question and that question is do you have more heart

that question is do you have more heart

that question is do you have more heart than scars that’s when I got to answer

than scars that’s when I got to answer

than scars that’s when I got to answer it for myself see we don’t know how much

it for myself see we don’t know how much

it for myself see we don’t know how much time we have left

time we have left

time we have left and so that clock is ticking and yet we

and so that clock is ticking and yet we

and so that clock is ticking and yet we have the option to feed our fears we

have the option to feed our fears we

have the option to feed our fears we could feed our fears feed the despair

could feed our fears feed the despair

could feed our fears feed the despair feed all the negative things but there’s

feed all the negative things but there’s

feed all the negative things but there’s a scale of balance and you really find

a scale of balance and you really find

a scale of balance and you really find out at the end of your life maybe you’re

out at the end of your life maybe you’re

out at the end of your life maybe you’re there maybe you’re not but at the end of

there maybe you’re not but at the end of

there maybe you’re not but at the end of your life people are gonna walk away

your life people are gonna walk away

your life people are gonna walk away from your funeral that’s the walk away

from your funeral that’s the walk away

from your funeral that’s the walk away that you know if this person had more

that you know if this person had more

that you know if this person had more heart than scars or not people that walk

heart than scars or not people that walk

heart than scars or not people that walk away with hope and joy and there’s a

away with hope and joy and there’s a

away with hope and joy and there’s a legacy so out of it it wasn’t easy for

legacy so out of it it wasn’t easy for

legacy so out of it it wasn’t easy for me at that point with my hands just

me at that point with my hands just

me at that point with my hands just because I got through and faced my fear

because I got through and faced my fear

because I got through and faced my fear didn’t mean I was all done in fact it

didn’t mean I was all done in fact it

didn’t mean I was all done in fact it started a lot of addiction and alcohol

started a lot of addiction and alcohol

started a lot of addiction and alcohol and drugs to to deal with the feelings

and drugs to to deal with the feelings

and drugs to to deal with the feelings of that and so that went on for years

of that and so that went on for years

of that and so that went on for years but I eventually did get sober because I

but I eventually did get sober because I

but I eventually did get sober because I made a choice to live differently all

made a choice to live differently all

made a choice to live differently all right we know who this guy is so we’re

right we know who this guy is so we’re

right we know who this guy is so we’re gonna have some little participation

gonna have some little participation

gonna have some little participation here all right I’m gonna point at you

here all right I’m gonna point at you

here all right I’m gonna point at you you come back all right okay we will we

you come back all right okay we will we

you come back all right okay we will we will all right at Freddie Mercury when

will all right at Freddie Mercury when

will all right at Freddie Mercury when right now somewhere in America people

right now somewhere in America people

right now somewhere in America people are stomping their feet clamped in their

are stomping their feet clamped in their

are stomping their feet clamped in their hands together and it’s saying we will

hands together and it’s saying we will

hands together and it’s saying we will rock you they’re not thinking about how

rock you they’re not thinking about how

rock you they’re not thinking about how Freddie Mercury died they’re thinking

Freddie Mercury died they’re thinking

Freddie Mercury died they’re thinking about maybe Wayne’s world or well you

about maybe Wayne’s world or well you

about maybe Wayne’s world or well you know a great song they’re thinking about

know a great song they’re thinking about

know a great song they’re thinking about their champions but they’re not thinking

their champions but they’re not thinking

their champions but they’re not thinking about how he was gone and it’s legacy

about how he was gone and it’s legacy

about how he was gone and it’s legacy and that comes on so this next person I

and that comes on so this next person I

and that comes on so this next person I must say a couple words to you and I

must say a couple words to you and I

must say a couple words to you and I need to give the words back to me that

need to give the words back to me that

need to give the words back to me that he cooked up with a guy with a more

he cooked up with a guy with a more

he cooked up with a guy with a more space like flair so ground control to

space like flair so ground control to

space like flair so ground control to yeah Bowie when you think of Bowie you

yeah Bowie when you think of Bowie you

yeah Bowie when you think of Bowie you don’t go oh that poor unfortunate guy

don’t go oh that poor unfortunate guy

don’t go oh that poor unfortunate guy died of cancer he didn’t tell anybody he

died of cancer he didn’t tell anybody he

died of cancer he didn’t tell anybody he had cancer he was finishing his last

had cancer he was finishing his last

had cancer he was finishing his last album he had stuff to do

album he had stuff to do

album he had stuff to do when Bowie got together with Freddie

when Bowie got together with Freddie

when Bowie got together with Freddie Mercury they came up what I think is a

Mercury they came up what I think is a

Mercury they came up what I think is a greatest song ever which is under

greatest song ever which is under

greatest song ever which is under pressure and but weeks things out he

pressure and but weeks things out he

pressure and but weeks things out he says you know it’s the terror of knowing

says you know it’s the terror of knowing

says you know it’s the terror of knowing what this world is about watching some

what this world is about watching some

what this world is about watching some good friends scream let me out and

good friends scream let me out and

good friends scream let me out and mercury comes back later than the song

mercury comes back later than the song

mercury comes back later than the song says why can’t we give love another

says why can’t we give love another

says why can’t we give love another chance why can’t we give love give love

chance why can’t we give love give love

chance why can’t we give love give love give love give love and boy says because

give love give love and boy says because

give love give love and boy says because love’s such an old-fashioned word and

love’s such an old-fashioned word and

love’s such an old-fashioned word and love dares us to care for the people

love dares us to care for the people

love dares us to care for the people living on the edge of the night and love

living on the edge of the night and love

living on the edge of the night and love dares us to change the way that we care

dares us to change the way that we care

dares us to change the way that we care for ourselves because this is our last

for ourselves because this is our last

for ourselves because this is our last dance

dance

dance this is ourselves under pressure this

this is ourselves under pressure this

this is ourselves under pressure this next thing you have to really

next thing you have to really

next thing you have to really participate well with me on here and

participate well with me on here and

participate well with me on here and don’t jump ahead all right you’re gonna

don’t jump ahead all right you’re gonna

don’t jump ahead all right you’re gonna be tempted to some people think there

be tempted to some people think there

be tempted to some people think there might have being a licensing

might have being a licensing

might have being a licensing disagreement about this one song and the

disagreement about this one song and the

disagreement about this one song and the next but Harold just hold on when I

next but Harold just hold on when I

next but Harold just hold on when I point participate please no VIP

attendant and attendant then Denton

attendant and attendant then Denton Denton alright stop collaborate I was

Denton alright stop collaborate I was

Denton alright stop collaborate I was back with a brand new invention

back with a brand new invention

back with a brand new invention something grabs ahold of me tightly

something grabs ahold of me tightly

something grabs ahold of me tightly flowing like a harpoon daily and nightly

flowing like a harpoon daily and nightly

flowing like a harpoon daily and nightly yeah I don’t know turn up the mic and

yeah I don’t know turn up the mic and

yeah I don’t know turn up the mic and I’ll glow to the extreme I Rock the mic

I’ll glow to the extreme I Rock the mic

I’ll glow to the extreme I Rock the mic like a vandal light up the stage I’ll

like a vandal light up the stage I’ll

like a vandal light up the stage I’ll wax the chump like a candle dance

wax the chump like a candle dance

wax the chump like a candle dance alright so that happened they had a TED

alright so that happened they had a TED

alright so that happened they had a TED talk let’s just have that moment so

talk let’s just have that moment so

talk let’s just have that moment so today is national suicide not national

today is national suicide not national

today is national suicide not national it’s worldwide suicide prevention day

it’s worldwide suicide prevention day

it’s worldwide suicide prevention day and after that hit hit the world he took

and after that hit hit the world he took

and after that hit hit the world he took it so hard that he actually tried to end

it so hard that he actually tried to end

it so hard that he actually tried to end his life

his life

his life in my life I’ve also you know I’ve

in my life I’ve also you know I’ve

in my life I’ve also you know I’ve struggled with suicidal ideation at

struggled with suicidal ideation at

struggled with suicidal ideation at attempts and here’s that moment where

attempts and here’s that moment where

attempts and here’s that moment where you know it’s that terrible what the

you know it’s that terrible what the

you know it’s that terrible what the world is about so there’s so much stigma

world is about so there’s so much stigma

world is about so there’s so much stigma a fear to ask for help

a fear to ask for help

a fear to ask for help so I’m gonna ask you to participate

so I’m gonna ask you to participate

so I’m gonna ask you to participate again and the way this is going to go is

again and the way this is going to go is

again and the way this is going to go is if your life has been impacted by the

if your life has been impacted by the

if your life has been impacted by the loss to someone

loss to someone

loss to someone on the count of three just cry out the

on the count of three just cry out the

on the count of three just cry out the word help one two three and that’s the

word help one two three and that’s the

word help one two three and that’s the struggle we asked people to go in a

struggle we asked people to go in a

struggle we asked people to go in a quest if they leaving the cave like in

quest if they leaving the cave like in

quest if they leaving the cave like in the allegory of the cave or people are

the allegory of the cave or people are

the allegory of the cave or people are shackled to shadows and their whole life

shackled to shadows and their whole life

shackled to shadows and their whole life they’re stuck if you want to wake up you

they’re stuck if you want to wake up you

they’re stuck if you want to wake up you have to wake up and leave the cave going

have to wake up and leave the cave going

have to wake up and leave the cave going on that cave is a quest not like a

on that cave is a quest not like a

on that cave is a quest not like a mission statement but an absolute

mission statement but an absolute

mission statement but an absolute imperative that I’m willing to live and

imperative that I’m willing to live and

imperative that I’m willing to live and die for if you’re willing to go on the

die for if you’re willing to go on the

die for if you’re willing to go on the quest immediately you come up with maybe

quest immediately you come up with maybe

quest immediately you come up with maybe I could just stay back in the cave and

I could just stay back in the cave and

I could just stay back in the cave and we have these new shiny devices in our

we have these new shiny devices in our

we have these new shiny devices in our hands that now have the shadows not on

hands that now have the shadows not on

hands that now have the shadows not on the walls but in our hands do you think

the walls but in our hands do you think

the walls but in our hands do you think well maybe I’m going to get into a

well maybe I’m going to get into a

well maybe I’m going to get into a really healthy relationship or learn

really healthy relationship or learn

really healthy relationship or learn something new or do whatever or I could

something new or do whatever or I could

something new or do whatever or I could just watch it in my hand you need the

just watch it in my hand you need the

just watch it in my hand you need the tools to make it so when you go on a

tools to make it so when you go on a

tools to make it so when you go on a quest it’s not until you go in the quest

quest it’s not until you go in the quest

quest it’s not until you go in the quest it’s not until you leave the cave and

it’s not until you leave the cave and

it’s not until you leave the cave and you’re you’re committed that magically

you’re you’re committed that magically

you’re you’re committed that magically miraculously the things show up in the

miraculously the things show up in the

miraculously the things show up in the line of Witch and the Wardrobe when

line of Witch and the Wardrobe when

line of Witch and the Wardrobe when they’re about to do battle

they’re about to do battle

they’re about to do battle father Christmas shows up and gives

father Christmas shows up and gives

father Christmas shows up and gives Peter a sword and a shield and gives

Peter a sword and a shield and gives

Peter a sword and a shield and gives Susan a bow and arrow and Lucy a little

Susan a bow and arrow and Lucy a little

Susan a bow and arrow and Lucy a little vial of healing potion and a dagger so

vial of healing potion and a dagger so

vial of healing potion and a dagger so that really hit me as a kid I think

that really hit me as a kid I think

that really hit me as a kid I think maybe maybe one day I’ll be a knight so

maybe maybe one day I’ll be a knight so

maybe maybe one day I’ll be a knight so obstacles that’s Jesse the first time we

obstacles that’s Jesse the first time we

obstacles that’s Jesse the first time we did our team we had 17 people as she’s

did our team we had 17 people as she’s

did our team we had 17 people as she’s going over the corral to start this race

going over the corral to start this race

going over the corral to start this race here in Asheville

here in Asheville

here in Asheville there was 550 people in that Corral and

there was 550 people in that Corral and

there was 550 people in that Corral and when the AMC would cry out more heart

when the AMC would cry out more heart

when the AMC would cry out more heart the whole crowd would scream back fence

the whole crowd would scream back fence

the whole crowd would scream back fence cars all day 7,000 people passing us as

cars all day 7,000 people passing us as

cars all day 7,000 people passing us as we’re going by saying more heart than

we’re going by saying more heart than

we’re going by saying more heart than scars it is an obstacle that shirred

scars it is an obstacle that shirred

scars it is an obstacle that shirred because of the repair because she deals

because of the repair because she deals

because of the repair because she deals of being paralyzed it’s a different

of being paralyzed it’s a different

of being paralyzed it’s a different experience but she’s an equal member of

experience but she’s an equal member of

experience but she’s an equal member of our team when we go through it we’re not

our team when we go through it we’re not

our team when we go through it we’re not helping her we’re helping each other so

helping her we’re helping each other so

helping her we’re helping each other so it’s just another obstacle that can be a

it’s just another obstacle that can be a

it’s just another obstacle that can be a metaphors for some people it’s getting

metaphors for some people it’s getting

metaphors for some people it’s getting out of bed for some people it’s doing

out of bed for some people it’s doing

out of bed for some people it’s doing the laundry taking their medications

the laundry taking their medications

the laundry taking their medications going to a meeting right here is blind

going to a meeting right here is blind

going to a meeting right here is blind Pete we call him blind Pete because he’s

Pete we call him blind Pete because he’s

Pete we call him blind Pete because he’s blind and his name is Pete

blind and his name is Pete

blind and his name is Pete he’s rappelling there don’t worry I got

he’s rappelling there don’t worry I got

he’s rappelling there don’t worry I got its back remember that expert repeller

its back remember that expert repeller

its back remember that expert repeller that fell 25 feet is right behind him so

that fell 25 feet is right behind him so

that fell 25 feet is right behind him so this is a Spartan Agoge Reyes event it’s

this is a Spartan Agoge Reyes event it’s

this is a Spartan Agoge Reyes event it’s a 60 hour deal and with that we were

a 60 hour deal and with that we were

a 60 hour deal and with that we were able to you know compete with like five

able to you know compete with like five

able to you know compete with like five different adaptive athletes and we ended

different adaptive athletes and we ended

different adaptive athletes and we ended up in Outside magazine online this is my

up in Outside magazine online this is my

up in Outside magazine online this is my best friend Michael Mills and Michael

best friend Michael Mills and Michael

best friend Michael Mills and Michael right there is attached to a rope that

right there is attached to a rope that

right there is attached to a rope that goes for a hundred yards and he’s

goes for a hundred yards and he’s

goes for a hundred yards and he’s attached to a big car it weighs 5,000

attached to a big car it weighs 5,000

attached to a big car it weighs 5,000 pounds and he pulls hand over hand that

pounds and he pulls hand over hand that

pounds and he pulls hand over hand that harness pulls him forward and he set

harness pulls him forward and he set

harness pulls him forward and he set that world-record resilience means I got

that world-record resilience means I got

that world-record resilience means I got this how resilience works in his in a

this how resilience works in his in a

this how resilience works in his in a study first of all you face down reality

study first of all you face down reality

study first of all you face down reality my hands were stuck I had to get free I

my hands were stuck I had to get free I

my hands were stuck I had to get free I had a search for meaning in my life to

had a search for meaning in my life to

had a search for meaning in my life to make maze hands that were injured to

make maze hands that were injured to

make maze hands that were injured to heal other people and I have to

heal other people and I have to

heal other people and I have to continually improvise Michael and I

continually improvise Michael and I

continually improvise Michael and I figured out a hundred different ways to

figured out a hundred different ways to

figured out a hundred different ways to do that till we finally got it done

do that till we finally got it done

do that till we finally got it done Maurice Vanderpool did a study that

Maurice Vanderpool did a study that

Maurice Vanderpool did a study that found about people that were survivors

found about people that were survivors

found about people that were survivors of the Holocaust and he realized they

of the Holocaust and he realized they

of the Holocaust and he realized they had as a plastic shield ours is leather

had as a plastic shield ours is leather

had as a plastic shield ours is leather and steel but his plastic shield was a

and steel but his plastic shield was a

and steel but his plastic shield was a sense of humor

sense of humor

sense of humor usually a dark sense of humor to be able

usually a dark sense of humor to be able

usually a dark sense of humor to be able to laugh at oneself in the laugh of the

to laugh at oneself in the laugh of the

to laugh at oneself in the laugh of the struggles also that shield helped people

struggles also that shield helped people

struggles also that shield helped people to hold and firm attachments to connect

to hold and firm attachments to connect

to hold and firm attachments to connect to others who are your band of brothers

to others who are your band of brothers

to others who are your band of brothers and sisters who who’s got your shield

and sisters who who’s got your shield

and sisters who who’s got your shield wall who are you next and attaching to

wall who are you next and attaching to

wall who are you next and attaching to and ultimately you had to develop a

and ultimately you had to develop a

and ultimately you had to develop a psychological space to protect your

psychological space to protect your

psychological space to protect your inner heart because even the people that

inner heart because even the people that

inner heart because even the people that are there

are there

are there besides you struggling could stab you in

besides you struggling could stab you in

besides you struggling could stab you in the back too because hurt people hurt

the back too because hurt people hurt

the back too because hurt people hurt people

people

people but defined the attachment to move to

but defined the attachment to move to

but defined the attachment to move to the big point of interdependence no

the big point of interdependence no

the big point of interdependence no matter how difficult and pokey that our

matter how difficult and pokey that our

matter how difficult and pokey that our friends may be we need each other in

friends may be we need each other in

friends may be we need each other in fact a 75 year study that firm out of

fact a 75 year study that firm out of

fact a 75 year study that firm out of Harvard by George valance he wrote in

Harvard by George valance he wrote in

Harvard by George valance he wrote in his book adaption to life he said that

his book adaption to life he said that

his book adaption to life he said that the reliable presence of people who love

the reliable presence of people who love

the reliable presence of people who love us facilitates our perception and

us facilitates our perception and

us facilitates our perception and tolerance of painful realities and

tolerance of painful realities and

tolerance of painful realities and enriches our lives he ultimately says

enriches our lives he ultimately says

enriches our lives he ultimately says relationships are the beginning the

relationships are the beginning the

relationships are the beginning the middle of the end it is love back to can

middle of the end it is love back to can

middle of the end it is love back to can you give love give love

you give love give love

you give love give love Berni showing up at the camp counselor

Berni showing up at the camp counselor

Berni showing up at the camp counselor that love helped me get through what I

that love helped me get through what I

that love helped me get through what I needed to so after you have

needed to so after you have

needed to so after you have interdependence then what it really

interdependence then what it really

interdependence then what it really comes down is maintenance which is about

comes down is maintenance which is about

comes down is maintenance which is about being fit joe de Sena is the guy who

being fit joe de Sena is the guy who

being fit joe de Sena is the guy who started Spartan races and his whole idea

started Spartan races and his whole idea

started Spartan races and his whole idea was to rip people off the couches and

was to rip people off the couches and

was to rip people off the couches and make him uncomfortable and purpose on

make him uncomfortable and purpose on

make him uncomfortable and purpose on purpose so they be more resilient they

purpose so they be more resilient they

purpose so they be more resilient they said this daily training and a lifestyle

said this daily training and a lifestyle

said this daily training and a lifestyle Fitness makes life easy this is a guy

Fitness makes life easy this is a guy

Fitness makes life easy this is a guy who gets up early early in the morning

who gets up early early in the morning

who gets up early early in the morning does works out crazy takes a cold shower

does works out crazy takes a cold shower

does works out crazy takes a cold shower and gets off for his day he said

and gets off for his day he said

and gets off for his day he said training and fitness helps build

training and fitness helps build

training and fitness helps build resilience helps build connections with

resilience helps build connections with

resilience helps build connections with other people that are like-minded and

other people that are like-minded and

other people that are like-minded and helps you learn to accept the daily

helps you learn to accept the daily

helps you learn to accept the daily grind as just part of the job we all

grind as just part of the job we all

grind as just part of the job we all have to do on earth if you’re taking

have to do on earth if you’re taking

have to do on earth if you’re taking care of your body if you’re being

care of your body if you’re being

care of your body if you’re being mindful if you’re eating the foods that

mindful if you’re eating the foods that

mindful if you’re eating the foods that you need to do then you can be fit

you need to do then you can be fit

you need to do then you can be fit what’s important is this model is this

what’s important is this model is this

what’s important is this model is this shield is that shield that blocks and

shield is that shield that blocks and

shield is that shield that blocks and protects but on the inside is the wheel

protects but on the inside is the wheel

protects but on the inside is the wheel this is actually a wheelchair wheel on

this is actually a wheelchair wheel on

this is actually a wheelchair wheel on the outside of it and it turns and

the outside of it and it turns and

the outside of it and it turns and builds momentum ask the question do I

builds momentum ask the question do I

builds momentum ask the question do I have more heart than scars go on a quest

have more heart than scars go on a quest

have more heart than scars go on a quest that the world hears it and says it back

that the world hears it and says it back

that the world hears it and says it back to me so they can see themselves not as

to me so they can see themselves not as

to me so they can see themselves not as victims but as victorious the obstacles

victims but as victorious the obstacles

victims but as victorious the obstacles we train for obstacles both the metaphor

we train for obstacles both the metaphor

we train for obstacles both the metaphor and the real ones we develop resilience

and the real ones we develop resilience

and the real ones we develop resilience and become interdependent and we work on

and become interdependent and we work on

and become interdependent and we work on that fitness so back to Santa so why am

that fitness so back to Santa so why am

that fitness so back to Santa so why am I really wearing this well some people

I really wearing this well some people

I really wearing this well some people could say well are you just playing

could say well are you just playing

could say well are you just playing around and the answer is this sword and

around and the answer is this sword and

around and the answer is this sword and the shield are the gifts and the tools

the shield are the gifts and the tools

the shield are the gifts and the tools that are given to me that we ask tonight

that are given to me that we ask tonight

that are given to me that we ask tonight people and we say to them do you have

people and we say to them do you have

people and we say to them do you have more faith than fear and Justin Falls

more faith than fear and Justin Falls

more faith than fear and Justin Falls flying the plane as his doctor to

flying the plane as his doctor to

flying the plane as his doctor to pharmacology he has more faith in fear

pharmacology he has more faith in fear

pharmacology he has more faith in fear he also set the world record for being a

he also set the world record for being a

he also set the world record for being a quadriplegic completing several races

quadriplegic completing several races

quadriplegic completing several races all over the place we first met the

all over the place we first met the

all over the place we first met the Renaissance Festival I asked him to

Renaissance Festival I asked him to

Renaissance Festival I asked him to joust he was dressed like burger king

joust he was dressed like burger king

joust he was dressed like burger king he’s taken being a knight very seriously

he’s taken being a knight very seriously

he’s taken being a knight very seriously do you have more love than hate when

do you have more love than hate when

do you have more love than hate when Deephaven the co-founder of more heart

Deephaven the co-founder of more heart

Deephaven the co-founder of more heart than stars as a little girl her mother’s

than stars as a little girl her mother’s

than stars as a little girl her mother’s boyfriend

boyfriend

boyfriend sexually abused her for years

sexually abused her for years

sexually abused her for years and with that she punished her without

and with that she punished her without

and with that she punished her without food and made her feel terrible about

food and made her feel terrible about

food and made her feel terrible about who she was she decided to fight that

who she was she decided to fight that

who she was she decided to fight that fight and to forgive herself to forgive

fight and to forgive herself to forgive

fight and to forgive herself to forgive him and to love herself and she teaches

him and to love herself and she teaches

him and to love herself and she teaches other people to love themselves as now

other people to love themselves as now

other people to love themselves as now as a counselor helping them to face

as a counselor helping them to face

as a counselor helping them to face their invisible scars

their invisible scars

their invisible scars Chris Davis has more Hope than despair

Chris Davis has more Hope than despair

Chris Davis has more Hope than despair he is the rock for me he’s gained weight

he is the rock for me he’s gained weight

he is the rock for me he’s gained weight lost weight gained weight and still

lost weight gained weight and still

lost weight gained weight and still continues to struggle and carry the real

continues to struggle and carry the real

continues to struggle and carry the real burdens which it can be depression so

burdens which it can be depression so

burdens which it can be depression so his brother just recently had committed

his brother just recently had committed

his brother just recently had committed suicide and that’s the idea that we’re

suicide and that’s the idea that we’re

suicide and that’s the idea that we’re trying to have more Hope than despair

trying to have more Hope than despair

trying to have more Hope than despair that we asked for help with for one

that we asked for help with for one

that we asked for help with for one another this gentleman right here John

another this gentleman right here John

another this gentleman right here John Powers we did races together

Powers we did races together

Powers we did races together his nickname is IHOP when we lost him

his nickname is IHOP when we lost him

his nickname is IHOP when we lost him that real heroes funeral that funeral

that real heroes funeral that funeral

that real heroes funeral that funeral where that the cancer was not as

where that the cancer was not as

where that the cancer was not as identity that he had more heart the

identity that he had more heart the

identity that he had more heart the scars the last thing he texted because

scars the last thing he texted because

scars the last thing he texted because he couldn’t speak because of his trach

he couldn’t speak because of his trach

he couldn’t speak because of his trach he said enjoy every moment he wanted to

he said enjoy every moment he wanted to

he said enjoy every moment he wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail so we had

hike the Appalachian Trail so we had

hike the Appalachian Trail so we had someone do it for him this is a symbol

someone do it for him this is a symbol

someone do it for him this is a symbol of victory not defeat it’s more heart

of victory not defeat it’s more heart

of victory not defeat it’s more heart than scars so we have a battle cry and

than scars so we have a battle cry and

than scars so we have a battle cry and I’m gonna give you two words and I think

I’m gonna give you two words and I think

I’m gonna give you two words and I think you know what to do more heart