I was raped kidnapped and raped for 10 days the
kidnapped and raped for 10 days the
kidnapped and raped for 10 days the first person I spoke to do not believe
first person I spoke to do not believe
first person I spoke to do not believe me worse he blamed it on me and worse
me worse he blamed it on me and worse
me worse he blamed it on me and worse even he too raped me
even he too raped me
even he too raped me I screamed I screamed in agony as he
I screamed I screamed in agony as he
I screamed I screamed in agony as he touched me that’s when he said oh it’s
touched me that’s when he said oh it’s
touched me that’s when he said oh it’s what you told me was true it did not
what you told me was true it did not
what you told me was true it did not stop him and I froze my mind escaped my
stop him and I froze my mind escaped my
stop him and I froze my mind escaped my broken helpless body and did not return
broken helpless body and did not return
broken helpless body and did not return a tuck these fragments of horror away
a tuck these fragments of horror away
a tuck these fragments of horror away told no one and carried on in Oblivion
told no one and carried on in Oblivion
told no one and carried on in Oblivion and stubborn denial but my body did not
and stubborn denial but my body did not
and stubborn denial but my body did not allow this lie a suffered on sets of
allow this lie a suffered on sets of
allow this lie a suffered on sets of agonizing pain in my abdomen and back
agonizing pain in my abdomen and back
agonizing pain in my abdomen and back the pressure was so intense they tore my
the pressure was so intense they tore my
the pressure was so intense they tore my muscles and are often passed out I was
muscles and are often passed out I was
muscles and are often passed out I was vomiting acidic screams screams so
vomiting acidic screams screams so
vomiting acidic screams screams so desperate to be heard they came out
desperate to be heard they came out
desperate to be heard they came out accompanied by streams of blood my
accompanied by streams of blood my
accompanied by streams of blood my physical self was screaming with its own
physical self was screaming with its own
physical self was screaming with its own means what I was not expressing with
means what I was not expressing with
means what I was not expressing with words how could I on my first attempt
words how could I on my first attempt
words how could I on my first attempt are communicating what had happened to
are communicating what had happened to
are communicating what had happened to me I was put through the same horror our
me I was put through the same horror our
me I was put through the same horror our culture normalizes abuse of power my
culture normalizes abuse of power my
culture normalizes abuse of power my story bears witness to a global societal
story bears witness to a global societal
story bears witness to a global societal problem that is that we as a society
problem that is that we as a society
problem that is that we as a society maintain silence on issues that are too
maintain silence on issues that are too
maintain silence on issues that are too hard to bear and it is not because they
hard to bear and it is not because they
hard to bear and it is not because they are foreign and uncommon but
are foreign and uncommon but
are foreign and uncommon but specifically because they are pervasive
specifically because they are pervasive
specifically because they are pervasive in the coup right here right now and we
in the coup right here right now and we
in the coup right here right now and we don’t know what to do about it
don’t know what to do about it
don’t know what to do about it I believe we should start by breaking
I believe we should start by breaking
I believe we should start by breaking the silence speaking out
the silence speaking out
the silence speaking out in listening the first step to solving
in listening the first step to solving
in listening the first step to solving any issue is to acknowledge is there in
any issue is to acknowledge is there in
any issue is to acknowledge is there in the first place right so this is what
the first place right so this is what
the first place right so this is what I’m here to do today
I’m here to do today
I’m here to do today the what I would like to talk about
the what I would like to talk about
the what I would like to talk about today is not sexual assault not any one
today is not sexual assault not any one
today is not sexual assault not any one form of extreme violence but the very
form of extreme violence but the very
form of extreme violence but the very consequence of such violence trauma
consequence of such violence trauma
consequence of such violence trauma having an inner experience of trauma it
having an inner experience of trauma it
having an inner experience of trauma it seemed clearer how to use this
seemed clearer how to use this
seemed clearer how to use this invaluable perspective in my practice so
invaluable perspective in my practice so
invaluable perspective in my practice so I drew for my personal insight delved
I drew for my personal insight delved
I drew for my personal insight delved into fascinating research on the
into fascinating research on the
into fascinating research on the neuroscience of trauma and looked at the
neuroscience of trauma and looked at the
neuroscience of trauma and looked at the healing opportunities that lie within
healing opportunities that lie within
healing opportunities that lie within creativity that’s how my work on trauma
creativity that’s how my work on trauma
creativity that’s how my work on trauma started I’m now developing a trauma
started I’m now developing a trauma
started I’m now developing a trauma focused movement language which is a
focused movement language which is a
focused movement language which is a means of communicating that is in
means of communicating that is in
means of communicating that is in contrary to the mechanisms of trauma
contrary to the mechanisms of trauma
contrary to the mechanisms of trauma the aim is both to help survivors heal
the aim is both to help survivors heal
the aim is both to help survivors heal and be heard so what is trauma trauma is
and be heard so what is trauma trauma is
and be heard so what is trauma trauma is the loss of inter and intra relational
the loss of inter and intra relational
the loss of inter and intra relational safety the loss of inter and intra
safety the loss of inter and intra
safety the loss of inter and intra relational safety it may be called PTSD
relational safety it may be called PTSD
relational safety it may be called PTSD post traumatic stress disorder or
post traumatic stress disorder or
post traumatic stress disorder or complex PTSD depending on the context
complex PTSD depending on the context
complex PTSD depending on the context and duration of the events so for
and duration of the events so for
and duration of the events so for example someone who has been raped is
example someone who has been raped is
example someone who has been raped is likely to develop PTSD well someone who
likely to develop PTSD well someone who
likely to develop PTSD well someone who has experienced repetitive sexual abuse
has experienced repetitive sexual abuse
has experienced repetitive sexual abuse is likely to develop complex PTSD there
is likely to develop complex PTSD there
is likely to develop complex PTSD there is also a call for a diagnosis
is also a call for a diagnosis
is also a call for a diagnosis developmental trauma as those who
developmental trauma as those who
developmental trauma as those who experience repetitive abuse or neglect
experience repetitive abuse or neglect
experience repetitive abuse or neglect in their childhood present a broader set
in their childhood present a broader set
in their childhood present a broader set of symptoms extreme violence can be
of symptoms extreme violence can be
of symptoms extreme violence can be traumatic for those who whose integrity
traumatic for those who whose integrity
traumatic for those who whose integrity is at risk and those who witness such
is at risk and those who witness such
is at risk and those who witness such harm traumatic experiences can take many
harm traumatic experiences can take many
harm traumatic experiences can take many forms but they differ from other
forms but they differ from other
forms but they differ from other difficult experiences by the magnitude
difficult experiences by the magnitude
difficult experiences by the magnitude of the shock on mind brain and body this
of the shock on mind brain and body this
of the shock on mind brain and body this shock is the trauma
shock is the trauma
shock is the trauma however horrendous the traumatic events
however horrendous the traumatic events
however horrendous the traumatic events it is the trauma is the most devastating
it is the trauma is the most devastating
it is the trauma is the most devastating those suffering are often told the in
those suffering are often told the in
those suffering are often told the in famous expression
famous expression
famous expression it’s all in your head meaning it’s not
it’s all in your head meaning it’s not
it’s all in your head meaning it’s not real well I would like to point out the
real well I would like to point out the
real well I would like to point out the irony of this expression trauma creeps
irony of this expression trauma creeps
irony of this expression trauma creeps into the very fabric of your brain so
into the very fabric of your brain so
into the very fabric of your brain so much so that your brain is rewired and
much so that your brain is rewired and
much so that your brain is rewired and the entirety of the organism is affected
the entirety of the organism is affected
the entirety of the organism is affected so yes it is in your head but it is real
so yes it is in your head but it is real
so yes it is in your head but it is real how does it work imagine instead of it
how does it work imagine instead of it
how does it work imagine instead of it being me on state comes in a very hungry
being me on state comes in a very hungry
being me on state comes in a very hungry grizzly bear the alarm bells in all of
grizzly bear the alarm bells in all of
grizzly bear the alarm bells in all of your brains ring the limbic system is
your brains ring the limbic system is
your brains ring the limbic system is activated the amygdala sets the body
activated the amygdala sets the body
activated the amygdala sets the body stress response in motion stress
stress response in motion stress
stress response in motion stress hormones and nerve impulses flood your
hormones and nerve impulses flood your
hormones and nerve impulses flood your bodies your blood pressure increases
bodies your blood pressure increases
bodies your blood pressure increases your oxygen intake increases your heart
your oxygen intake increases your heart
your oxygen intake increases your heart rate increases your muscles tense you’re
rate increases your muscles tense you’re
rate increases your muscles tense you’re ready to fight the bear flee from the
ready to fight the bear flee from the
ready to fight the bear flee from the bear with neither a possible freeze as
bear with neither a possible freeze as
bear with neither a possible freeze as soon as the bear goes away safety is
soon as the bear goes away safety is
soon as the bear goes away safety is signaled the whole system goes back to
signaled the whole system goes back to
signaled the whole system goes back to normal and you’re back to feeling all of
normal and you’re back to feeling all of
normal and you’re back to feeling all of your normal sensations
your normal sensations
your normal sensations maybe that bear that your fancy this
maybe that bear that your fancy this
maybe that bear that your fancy this system is built to respond to threat and
system is built to respond to threat and
system is built to respond to threat and it is functional so as long as it works
it is functional so as long as it works
it is functional so as long as it works so as long as it remains a momentary
so as long as it remains a momentary
so as long as it remains a momentary state and not a continuous one in trauma
state and not a continuous one in trauma
state and not a continuous one in trauma this system fails it fails to rebalance
this system fails it fails to rebalance
this system fails it fails to rebalance after the threat has passed the violence
after the threat has passed the violence
after the threat has passed the violence has gone but the fight flight freeze
has gone but the fight flight freeze
has gone but the fight flight freeze responses are sustained and this has
responses are sustained and this has
responses are sustained and this has huge consequences you can be in acute
huge consequences you can be in acute
huge consequences you can be in acute stress whilst a bear is present because
stress whilst a bear is present because
stress whilst a bear is present because that’s what’s allowing you to protect
that’s what’s allowing you to protect
that’s what’s allowing you to protect yourself but you can’t be an acute
yourself but you can’t be an acute
yourself but you can’t be an acute stress every minute of the day as if the
stress every minute of the day as if the
stress every minute of the day as if the bear was continuously behind you imagine
bear was continuously behind you imagine
bear was continuously behind you imagine imagine going about your daily lives and
imagine going about your daily lives and
imagine going about your daily lives and having a grizzly bear behind you at
having a grizzly bear behind you at
having a grizzly bear behind you at every moment it doesn’t seem very
every moment it doesn’t seem very
every moment it doesn’t seem very feasible does it that’s how a tormentors
feasible does it that’s how a tormentors
feasible does it that’s how a tormentors per
per
per and lives in hyperarousal alert on god
and lives in hyperarousal alert on god
and lives in hyperarousal alert on god constantly fighting the never-ending
constantly fighting the never-ending
constantly fighting the never-ending threat of the bear behind them it’s not
threat of the bear behind them it’s not
threat of the bear behind them it’s not just a beer that they can’t think about
just a beer that they can’t think about
just a beer that they can’t think about in that context is their entire lives
in that context is their entire lives
in that context is their entire lives they can’t engage with the whole nervous
they can’t engage with the whole nervous
they can’t engage with the whole nervous system is reorganized there’s a division
system is reorganized there’s a division
system is reorganized there’s a division between the two halves of the brain
between the two halves of the brain
between the two halves of the brain while the right hemisphere is activated
while the right hemisphere is activated
while the right hemisphere is activated the left is deactivated the left is the
the left is deactivated the left is the
the left is deactivated the left is the rational brain which is responsible for
rational brain which is responsible for
rational brain which is responsible for communicating thoughts feelings and
communicating thoughts feelings and
communicating thoughts feelings and perceptions through language this devil
perceptions through language this devil
perceptions through language this devil is directly hinted and the data gathered
is directly hinted and the data gathered
is directly hinted and the data gathered from the different different senses
from the different different senses
from the different different senses cannot be dealt with by the appropriate
cannot be dealt with by the appropriate
cannot be dealt with by the appropriate areas of the brain which means that they
areas of the brain which means that they
areas of the brain which means that they are stored outside of the
are stored outside of the
are stored outside of the autobiographical narrative as frozen
autobiographical narrative as frozen
autobiographical narrative as frozen timeless and unprocessed fragments of
timeless and unprocessed fragments of
timeless and unprocessed fragments of memory this means that if you are
memory this means that if you are
memory this means that if you are traumatized and your reminder of the
traumatized and your reminder of the
traumatized and your reminder of the past you do not remember you
past you do not remember you
past you do not remember you re-experience
re-experience
re-experience from your brains perspective the
from your brains perspective the
from your brains perspective the violence is present all the
violence is present all the
violence is present all the physiological reactions occur as if the
physiological reactions occur as if the
physiological reactions occur as if the violence was happening in present time
violence was happening in present time
violence was happening in present time powerful smells images sounds even
powerful smells images sounds even
powerful smells images sounds even physical sensations are relived
physical sensations are relived
physical sensations are relived unchanged by time this is what we call
unchanged by time this is what we call
unchanged by time this is what we call flashbacks or vivid nightmares according
flashbacks or vivid nightmares according
flashbacks or vivid nightmares according to a leading survey lifetime exposure to
to a leading survey lifetime exposure to
to a leading survey lifetime exposure to potentially traumatic events ranges from
potentially traumatic events ranges from
potentially traumatic events ranges from 50 to 90 percent of a population trauma
50 to 90 percent of a population trauma
50 to 90 percent of a population trauma is not rare it is not for rain it is
is not rare it is not for rain it is
is not rare it is not for rain it is right here right now and we are all
right here right now and we are all
right here right now and we are all impacted adults and children look around
impacted adults and children look around
impacted adults and children look around you look around you every person in this
you look around you every person in this
you look around you every person in this room and imagine everyone is a child and
room and imagine everyone is a child and
room and imagine everyone is a child and the 15 years of age everyone
the 15 years of age everyone
the 15 years of age everyone and now picture three rooms like this
and now picture three rooms like this
and now picture three rooms like this one this is the number of premature
one this is the number of premature
one this is the number of premature deaths due to child maltreatment every
deaths due to child maltreatment every
deaths due to child maltreatment every year in Europe the figures of the World
year in Europe the figures of the World
year in Europe the figures of the World Health Organization suggest that there
Health Organization suggest that there
Health Organization suggest that there are 18 million children who suffer from
are 18 million children who suffer from
are 18 million children who suffer from sexual abuse 44 million from physical
sexual abuse 44 million from physical
sexual abuse 44 million from physical abuse and 55 million from mental abuse
abuse and 55 million from mental abuse
abuse and 55 million from mental abuse in Europe it has been described as a
in Europe it has been described as a
in Europe it has been described as a hidden epidemic it is a product of
hidden epidemic it is a product of
hidden epidemic it is a product of social cultural economical and
social cultural economical and
social cultural economical and biological factors it has a societal
biological factors it has a societal
biological factors it has a societal cost that runs into billions of euros we
cost that runs into billions of euros we
cost that runs into billions of euros we need open and honest dialogues about
need open and honest dialogues about
need open and honest dialogues about this issue they are amazing and
this issue they are amazing and
this issue they are amazing and courageous people out there backing to
courageous people out there backing to
courageous people out there backing to prevent and heal trauma there are
prevent and heal trauma there are
prevent and heal trauma there are experts who push the boundaries of
experts who push the boundaries of
experts who push the boundaries of medical research clinicians who
medical research clinicians who
medical research clinicians who understand the limitations of current
understand the limitations of current
understand the limitations of current practices and dare to go beyond the
practices and dare to go beyond the
practices and dare to go beyond the traditional therapies to develop truly
traditional therapies to develop truly
traditional therapies to develop truly effective treatments for survivors
effective treatments for survivors
effective treatments for survivors practitioners who worked with an
practitioners who worked with an
practitioners who worked with an uncompromised understanding of trauma
uncompromised understanding of trauma
uncompromised understanding of trauma but their efforts alone are insufficient
but their efforts alone are insufficient
but their efforts alone are insufficient the process of researchers findings
the process of researchers findings
the process of researchers findings being clinically tested before being
being clinically tested before being
being clinically tested before being integrated in official textbooks and
integrated in official textbooks and
integrated in official textbooks and ended in academia to finally have an
ended in academia to finally have an
ended in academia to finally have an impact on public knowledge is
impact on public knowledge is
impact on public knowledge is agonizingly slow meantime people are
agonizingly slow meantime people are
agonizingly slow meantime people are suffering these stages are required but
suffering these stages are required but
suffering these stages are required but if we met them halfway
if we met them halfway
if we met them halfway educating from the ground up we would
educating from the ground up we would
educating from the ground up we would help more people and save more lives you
help more people and save more lives you
help more people and save more lives you cannot live with trauma you survive and
cannot live with trauma you survive and
cannot live with trauma you survive and some don’t
some don’t
some don’t approximately 5000 veterans commit
approximately 5000 veterans commit
approximately 5000 veterans commit suicide per year in the US alone as a
suicide per year in the US alone as a
suicide per year in the US alone as a result of trauma and combat is by far
result of trauma and combat is by far
result of trauma and combat is by far not the main cause of trauma abuse is
not the main cause of trauma abuse is
not the main cause of trauma abuse is so why is most readily available
so why is most readily available
so why is most readily available information on trauma about veterans it
information on trauma about veterans it
information on trauma about veterans it is almost as if the world can accept a
is almost as if the world can accept a
is almost as if the world can accept a soldier coming back from a foreign war
soldier coming back from a foreign war
soldier coming back from a foreign war might be traumatized but the when war is
might be traumatized but the when war is
might be traumatized but the when war is home in the form of a rape for example
home in the form of a rape for example
home in the form of a rape for example it is not validated maintaining such a
it is not validated maintaining such a
it is not validated maintaining such a bias and public knowledge is dangerous
bias and public knowledge is dangerous
bias and public knowledge is dangerous it is time we moved past dad’s trauma
it is time we moved past dad’s trauma
it is time we moved past dad’s trauma isn’t just wearing army uniforms in most
isn’t just wearing army uniforms in most
isn’t just wearing army uniforms in most cases its ordinary clothing I can still
cases its ordinary clothing I can still
cases its ordinary clothing I can still feel the pressure of the leather belt
feel the pressure of the leather belt
feel the pressure of the leather belt around my neck and the shiver down my
around my neck and the shiver down my
around my neck and the shiver down my spine as I’m about to step off the chair
spine as I’m about to step off the chair
spine as I’m about to step off the chair someone was there for me my life was
someone was there for me my life was
someone was there for me my life was saved that day I made a promise to heal
saved that day I made a promise to heal
saved that day I made a promise to heal accepting my trauma and accepting I was
accepting my trauma and accepting I was
accepting my trauma and accepting I was worthy of healing was far harder than
worthy of healing was far harder than
worthy of healing was far harder than accepting the suffering my journey to
accepting the suffering my journey to
accepting the suffering my journey to live was difficult but I am standing
live was difficult but I am standing
live was difficult but I am standing here today I can now be the someone for
here today I can now be the someone for
here today I can now be the someone for another person in need you can be the
another person in need you can be the
another person in need you can be the someone we can be the someone we can be
someone we can be the someone we can be
someone we can be the someone we can be the community that supports survivors if
the community that supports survivors if
the community that supports survivors if we have the courage to acknowledge
we have the courage to acknowledge
we have the courage to acknowledge trauma and break the silence in stigma
trauma and break the silence in stigma
trauma and break the silence in stigma those suffering a worthy of accepting
those suffering a worthy of accepting
those suffering a worthy of accepting the trauma and they are worthy of
the trauma and they are worthy of
the trauma and they are worthy of healing and living we are all worthy of
healing and living we are all worthy of
healing and living we are all worthy of a society that values our individual
a society that values our individual
a society that values our individual experiences we are all worthy of a
experiences we are all worthy of a
experiences we are all worthy of a society in which we strive we are all
society in which we strive we are all
society in which we strive we are all worthy of being the happy generation
”
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