I love Los Angeles I just truly do it’s an amazing city and it’s the place where
an amazing city and it’s the place where
an amazing city and it’s the place where dreams come true but often times we
dreams come true but often times we
dreams come true but often times we don’t really talk about all of the
don’t really talk about all of the
don’t really talk about all of the rejection that it takes to achieve those
rejection that it takes to achieve those
rejection that it takes to achieve those dreams I’ve had the opportunity to work
dreams I’ve had the opportunity to work
dreams I’ve had the opportunity to work as a casting director and the talent
as a casting director and the talent
as a casting director and the talent agent and in doing so I had to tell
agent and in doing so I had to tell
agent and in doing so I had to tell actors know over and over again
actors know over and over again
actors know over and over again delivering rejection on a daily basis
delivering rejection on a daily basis
delivering rejection on a daily basis and having those positions I gained a
and having those positions I gained a
and having those positions I gained a better understanding for the word know a
better understanding for the word know a
better understanding for the word know a new perspective it’s often said that if
new perspective it’s often said that if
new perspective it’s often said that if you keep hearing no over and over again
you keep hearing no over and over again
you keep hearing no over and over again that eventually your yes will come but I
that eventually your yes will come but I
that eventually your yes will come but I like to believe that that concept is
like to believe that that concept is
like to believe that that concept is always true it isn’t the fact is
always true it isn’t the fact is
always true it isn’t the fact is sometimes your guess will never come
sometimes your guess will never come
sometimes your guess will never come until you create it so how do we do that
until you create it so how do we do that
until you create it so how do we do that how do you create your own yes when you
how do you create your own yes when you
how do you create your own yes when you keep hearing no there’s a lot of
keep hearing no there’s a lot of
keep hearing no there’s a lot of different ways to do it but I’m going to
different ways to do it but I’m going to
different ways to do it but I’m going to talk to you about three principles that
talk to you about three principles that
talk to you about three principles that have really worked well for me
have really worked well for me
have really worked well for me the first is paying attention to your
the first is paying attention to your
the first is paying attention to your environment your environment might be
environment your environment might be
environment your environment might be the people that you know the places that
the people that you know the places that
the people that you know the places that you go the content that you consume or
you go the content that you consume or
you go the content that you consume or even the physical roads that you travel
even the physical roads that you travel
even the physical roads that you travel on day to day here in Los Angeles we
on day to day here in Los Angeles we
on day to day here in Los Angeles we have the luxury of accessing the 405
have the luxury of accessing the 405
have the luxury of accessing the 405 freeway which is the most congested
freeway which is the most congested
freeway which is the most congested freeway in the United States on any
freeway in the United States on any
freeway in the United States on any given day there are over 400,000 cars
given day there are over 400,000 cars
given day there are over 400,000 cars traveling on the 405 I remember one day
traveling on the 405 I remember one day
traveling on the 405 I remember one day I was on the 405 and to my right it was
I was on the 405 and to my right it was
I was on the 405 and to my right it was sort of like motion guiding my intention
sort of like motion guiding my intention
sort of like motion guiding my intention to look and I did and I said oh my
to look and I did and I said oh my
to look and I did and I said oh my goodness
goodness
goodness that’s my college friend Arthur
that’s my college friend Arthur
that’s my college friend Arthur that’s strange and he motioned me to get
that’s strange and he motioned me to get
that’s strange and he motioned me to get off on the negs exit and so I did we
off on the negs exit and so I did we
off on the negs exit and so I did we exchanged contact information and as
exchanged contact information and as
exchanged contact information and as always driving away I was thinking to
always driving away I was thinking to
always driving away I was thinking to myself that is so strange like what are
myself that is so strange like what are
myself that is so strange like what are the odds you would actually see someone
the odds you would actually see someone
the odds you would actually see someone you know in the 405 it wasn’t as if we
you know in the 405 it wasn’t as if we
you know in the 405 it wasn’t as if we had attended the same event and then
had attended the same event and then
had attended the same event and then left at the same time and then happened
left at the same time and then happened
left at the same time and then happened to be driving into the valley that
to be driving into the valley that
to be driving into the valley that wasn’t the case he had just moved to Los
wasn’t the case he had just moved to Los
wasn’t the case he had just moved to Los Angeles and I had only been there a
Angeles and I had only been there a
Angeles and I had only been there a short couple of months believe it or not
short couple of months believe it or not
short couple of months believe it or not we started hanging out a lot since that
we started hanging out a lot since that
we started hanging out a lot since that point that we saw each other and Arthur
point that we saw each other and Arthur
point that we saw each other and Arthur and I had been married for 14 years
creating your own yes is about living
creating your own yes is about living the life that you want to live it’s
the life that you want to live it’s
the life that you want to live it’s about creating the experiences and
about creating the experiences and
about creating the experiences and putting the people in life that you want
putting the people in life that you want
putting the people in life that you want to live your life with equally as
to live your life with equally as
to live your life with equally as important as the people that we’ll meet
important as the people that we’ll meet
important as the people that we’ll meet is also the content that we consume I
is also the content that we consume I
is also the content that we consume I was reading an article in The Hollywood
was reading an article in The Hollywood
was reading an article in The Hollywood Reporter and it was an article about
Reporter and it was an article about
Reporter and it was an article about Tyler Perry the filmmaker producer and
Tyler Perry the filmmaker producer and
Tyler Perry the filmmaker producer and they were talking about the success that
they were talking about the success that
they were talking about the success that he had with one of his feature films and
he had with one of his feature films and
he had with one of his feature films and the president of Lionsgate was quoted
the president of Lionsgate was quoted
the president of Lionsgate was quoted saying that they were looking for more
saying that they were looking for more
saying that they were looking for more material just like it well at the time I
material just like it well at the time I
material just like it well at the time I had a screenplay of Hollywood Kaos that
had a screenplay of Hollywood Kaos that
had a screenplay of Hollywood Kaos that I had been pushing around town no one
I had been pushing around town no one
I had been pushing around town no one either wanted to read it or they read it
either wanted to read it or they read it
either wanted to read it or they read it and told me no over and over again even
and told me no over and over again even
and told me no over and over again even literary agents and managers told me no
literary agents and managers told me no
literary agents and managers told me no so I decided to send the president of
so I decided to send the president of
so I decided to send the president of Lionsgate and email and to my surprise
Lionsgate and email and to my surprise
Lionsgate and email and to my surprise he responded and he cc’d several of his
he responded and he cc’d several of his
he responded and he cc’d several of his executives on his team and in a few
executives on his team and in a few
executives on his team and in a few short days they read my script
short days they read my script
short days they read my script now they passed but they took a meeting
now they passed but they took a meeting
now they passed but they took a meeting with me and got to know more about me as
with me and got to know more about me as
with me and got to know more about me as a producer and filmmaker and what I
a producer and filmmaker and what I
a producer and filmmaker and what I wanted to do here
wanted to do here
wanted to do here our connections are so important they
our connections are so important they
our connections are so important they can help to propel your life forward and
can help to propel your life forward and
can help to propel your life forward and another really important thing about
another really important thing about
another really important thing about creating your own yes is basically using
creating your own yes is basically using
creating your own yes is basically using all of the nose that you’re receiving
all of the nose that you’re receiving
all of the nose that you’re receiving and figuring out a way to create a yes
and figuring out a way to create a yes
and figuring out a way to create a yes so all of the information that you’re
so all of the information that you’re
so all of the information that you’re getting when you receive a know and
getting when you receive a know and
getting when you receive a know and formulating your own yes I’ve been
formulating your own yes I’ve been
formulating your own yes I’ve been rejected so much in my lifetime even
rejected so much in my lifetime even
rejected so much in my lifetime even when it comes to childbirth with my
when it comes to childbirth with my
when it comes to childbirth with my first son I had a cesarean a c-section
first son I had a cesarean a c-section
first son I had a cesarean a c-section and with my second child I really wanted
and with my second child I really wanted
and with my second child I really wanted to have a VBAC which is a vaginal birth
to have a VBAC which is a vaginal birth
to have a VBAC which is a vaginal birth after having a c-section I talked to my
after having a c-section I talked to my
after having a c-section I talked to my doctor about it we agreed that this was
doctor about it we agreed that this was
doctor about it we agreed that this was the plan and this was the birth I was
the plan and this was the birth I was
the plan and this was the birth I was going to have on the day that my
going to have on the day that my
going to have on the day that my daughter was due my doctor said to me
daughter was due my doctor said to me
daughter was due my doctor said to me that I was no longer going to be able to
that I was no longer going to be able to
that I was no longer going to be able to have a VBAC and she gave me some pretty
have a VBAC and she gave me some pretty
have a VBAC and she gave me some pretty ridiculous reasons but one was very
ridiculous reasons but one was very
ridiculous reasons but one was very valid she said to me that the hospital
valid she said to me that the hospital
valid she said to me that the hospital where I wanted to deliver no longer did
where I wanted to deliver no longer did
where I wanted to deliver no longer did be backs and I didn’t believe her so I
be backs and I didn’t believe her so I
be backs and I didn’t believe her so I called the hospital and they validated
called the hospital and they validated
called the hospital and they validated her and I was shocked I was devastated
her and I was shocked I was devastated
her and I was shocked I was devastated and I was very pregnant so what did I do
and I was very pregnant so what did I do
and I was very pregnant so what did I do I called ten more hospitals and do you
I called ten more hospitals and do you
I called ten more hospitals and do you know what they told me no no no no no
know what they told me no no no no no
know what they told me no no no no no I’m sorry ma’am no it’s too much of a
I’m sorry ma’am no it’s too much of a
I’m sorry ma’am no it’s too much of a risk no no no no so on that 11th phone
risk no no no no so on that 11th phone
risk no no no no so on that 11th phone call I used all of the information that
call I used all of the information that
call I used all of the information that I had gathered from the nose all of the
I had gathered from the nose all of the
I had gathered from the nose all of the reasons why they told me now
reasons why they told me now
reasons why they told me now I explained to the doctor listen I know
I explained to the doctor listen I know
I explained to the doctor listen I know all of the reasons why not let me
all of the reasons why not let me
all of the reasons why not let me explain to you why yes and he listened
explain to you why yes and he listened
explain to you why yes and he listened to me he heard me out he invited me into
to me he heard me out he invited me into
to me he heard me out he invited me into his office and he examined me he
his office and he examined me he
his office and he examined me he reviewed my medical records and he
reviewed my medical records and he
reviewed my medical records and he decided that I was the perfect candidate
decided that I was the perfect candidate
decided that I was the perfect candidate to have a VBAC he promised me that we
to have a VBAC he promised me that we
to have a VBAC he promised me that we would have one and I did with my second
would have one and I did with my second
would have one and I did with my second child and again
child and again
child and again with my third child and when I was in
with my third child and when I was in
with my third child and when I was in the hospital room with my third child a
the hospital room with my third child a
the hospital room with my third child a pregnant nurse came into the hospital
pregnant nurse came into the hospital
pregnant nurse came into the hospital room and she said I heard that you had a
room and she said I heard that you had a
room and she said I heard that you had a VBAC I said yes I did
VBAC I said yes I did
VBAC I said yes I did she said I really wanted to have one but
she said I really wanted to have one but
she said I really wanted to have one but my doctor told me no and I said well ten
my doctor told me no and I said well ten
my doctor told me no and I said well ten hospitals told me no – but here’s my
hospitals told me no – but here’s my
hospitals told me no – but here’s my doctor’s card and that’s the third
doctor’s card and that’s the third
doctor’s card and that’s the third principle when it comes to creating your
principle when it comes to creating your
principle when it comes to creating your own yes is being a part of someone
own yes is being a part of someone
own yes is being a part of someone else’s yes helping someone else achieve
else’s yes helping someone else achieve
else’s yes helping someone else achieve their dreams and their accomplishment
their dreams and their accomplishment
their dreams and their accomplishment when you think about it creating is
when you think about it creating is
when you think about it creating is about collaborating no one achieves
about collaborating no one achieves
about collaborating no one achieves anything or creates anything alone no
anything or creates anything alone no
anything or creates anything alone no one now if you’re one of those people
one now if you’re one of those people
one now if you’re one of those people that has not been rejected a lot in your
that has not been rejected a lot in your
that has not been rejected a lot in your lifetime right or you haven’t been told
lifetime right or you haven’t been told
lifetime right or you haven’t been told no a whole lot you need to dive into
no a whole lot you need to dive into
no a whole lot you need to dive into life a little bit more because rejection
life a little bit more because rejection
life a little bit more because rejection is really a good thing the craziest
is really a good thing the craziest
is really a good thing the craziest thing that I’ve ever done is to dive
thing that I’ve ever done is to dive
thing that I’ve ever done is to dive into a McDonald’s dumpster after they
into a McDonald’s dumpster after they
into a McDonald’s dumpster after they were clothes piled high in trash and let
were clothes piled high in trash and let
were clothes piled high in trash and let me tell you why you know that aboard the
me tell you why you know that aboard the
me tell you why you know that aboard the Monopoly game that they have right the
Monopoly game that they have right the
Monopoly game that they have right the monopoly pieces well I had the park
monopoly pieces well I had the park
monopoly pieces well I had the park place piece
place piece
place piece at home okay and I was in the McDonald’s
at home okay and I was in the McDonald’s
at home okay and I was in the McDonald’s and I got the boardwalk piece and I
and I got the boardwalk piece and I
and I got the boardwalk piece and I showed it to one of my colleagues and
showed it to one of my colleagues and
showed it to one of my colleagues and I’m like oh my gosh I think I just won
I’m like oh my gosh I think I just won
I’m like oh my gosh I think I just won my billion dollars because I had the
my billion dollars because I had the
my billion dollars because I had the park based piece at home and he was like
park based piece at home and he was like
park based piece at home and he was like no that’s not possible
no that’s not possible
no that’s not possible I was like II I don’t think it’s
I was like II I don’t think it’s
I was like II I don’t think it’s possible either maybe I’m maybe I’m
possible either maybe I’m maybe I’m
possible either maybe I’m maybe I’m maybe I have it mixed up you know maybe
maybe I have it mixed up you know maybe
maybe I have it mixed up you know maybe I actually have this piece already so I
I actually have this piece already so I
I actually have this piece already so I threw it away
threw it away
threw it away so I got home and realized that I did
so I got home and realized that I did
so I got home and realized that I did indeed have Park Place so I had just
indeed have Park Place so I had just
indeed have Park Place so I had just thrown away the winning piece so what
thrown away the winning piece so what
thrown away the winning piece so what did I do
did I do
did I do I called it Matthew hay and said I’ll
I called it Matthew hay and said I’ll
I called it Matthew hay and said I’ll split the money with you if you agree to
split the money with you if you agree to
split the money with you if you agree to go with me into the dumpster he said
go with me into the dumpster he said
go with me into the dumpster he said sure so Matthew and I went to the
sure so Matthew and I went to the
sure so Matthew and I went to the McDonald’s after they were closed and
McDonald’s after they were closed and
McDonald’s after they were closed and dived in it was disgusting
dived in it was disgusting
dived in it was disgusting as I’m sure you can imagine we dug for
as I’m sure you can imagine we dug for
as I’m sure you can imagine we dug for four hours and then all of a sudden the
four hours and then all of a sudden the
four hours and then all of a sudden the police came
and they flash the lights and came over
and they flash the lights and came over and said what are you doing I explained
and said what are you doing I explained
and said what are you doing I explained the situation and he said keep on
the situation and he said keep on
the situation and he said keep on digging sadly I did not find the piece I
digging sadly I did not find the piece I
digging sadly I did not find the piece I know I know but I learned something very
know I know but I learned something very
know I know but I learned something very important about myself I learned that
important about myself I learned that
important about myself I learned that not only was I willing to get my hands
not only was I willing to get my hands
not only was I willing to get my hands dirty but my feet dirty
dirty but my feet dirty
dirty but my feet dirty and my hair and when a black woman is
and my hair and when a black woman is
and my hair and when a black woman is willing to get her hair dirty trust me
willing to get her hair dirty trust me
willing to get her hair dirty trust me that’s a big deal what I learned is that
that’s a big deal what I learned is that
that’s a big deal what I learned is that I was willing to dive in for what I
I was willing to dive in for what I
I was willing to dive in for what I wanted willing to go after what I wanted
wanted willing to go after what I wanted
wanted willing to go after what I wanted in life like many of you so the next
in life like many of you so the next
in life like many of you so the next time that you hear no don’t let it be a
time that you hear no don’t let it be a
time that you hear no don’t let it be a permanent setback in your life and when
permanent setback in your life and when
permanent setback in your life and when you keep on hearing no over and over
you keep on hearing no over and over
you keep on hearing no over and over again create your own yes thank you
again create your own yes thank you
again create your own yes thank you [Applause]
”
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