see you and I see you there’s one thing that’s more addictive than crack cocaine
that’s more addictive than crack cocaine
that’s more addictive than crack cocaine heroin or any other substance put
heroin or any other substance put
heroin or any other substance put together it’s called connection when
together it’s called connection when
together it’s called connection when you’ve really had a connection just
nothing else will will satisfy when
nothing else will will satisfy when you’ve had somebody that looks inside
you’ve had somebody that looks inside
you’ve had somebody that looks inside your eyes and says I see you see so
your eyes and says I see you see so
your eyes and says I see you see so often in life we’re just walking and
often in life we’re just walking and
often in life we’re just walking and giving motions and giving glad hand
giving motions and giving glad hand
giving motions and giving glad hand gestures and hi how you doing what do
gestures and hi how you doing what do
gestures and hi how you doing what do you do look when you ask a bad question
you do look when you ask a bad question
you do look when you ask a bad question you get what a bad answer if you want
you get what a bad answer if you want
you get what a bad answer if you want deeper connection with people you’re
deeper connection with people you’re
deeper connection with people you’re gonna have to learn to ask better
gonna have to learn to ask better
gonna have to learn to ask better questions what do you do just won’t cut
questions what do you do just won’t cut
questions what do you do just won’t cut it
as a matter of fact sometimes when
as a matter of fact sometimes when people say well Bob what do you say if
people say well Bob what do you say if
people say well Bob what do you say if you don’t say what do you do I say when
you don’t say what do you do I say when
you don’t say what do you do I say when somebody comes over to me excuse me and
somebody comes over to me excuse me and
somebody comes over to me excuse me and says Bob what do you do well one of my
says Bob what do you do well one of my
says Bob what do you do well one of my standard answers is well I teach people
standard answers is well I teach people
standard answers is well I teach people to ask what do you do not ask what do
to ask what do you do not ask what do
to ask what do you do not ask what do you do as an opening line of question
because it’s a bad way to begin a
because it’s a bad way to begin a conversation see when I’m talking to you
conversation see when I’m talking to you
conversation see when I’m talking to you sir
sir
sir I’m talking to you because I want to
I’m talking to you because I want to
I’m talking to you because I want to know who you are not what you do see the
know who you are not what you do see the
know who you are not what you do see the challenge is we have to understand that
challenge is we have to understand that
challenge is we have to understand that who you are is more important than what
who you are is more important than what
who you are is more important than what you do and if it truly more important
you do and if it truly more important
you do and if it truly more important than we need to start asking better
than we need to start asking better
than we need to start asking better questions that help us identify who
questions that help us identify who
questions that help us identify who people are
not too long ago I was sitting in a
not too long ago I was sitting in a Starbucks and it was later in the
Starbucks and it was later in the
Starbucks and it was later in the evening and later in the afternoon early
evening and later in the afternoon early
evening and later in the afternoon early evening and it pretty much emptied out
evening and it pretty much emptied out
evening and it pretty much emptied out there was nobody there I mean literally
there was nobody there I mean literally
there was nobody there I mean literally was an empty Starbucks with maybe two
was an empty Starbucks with maybe two
was an empty Starbucks with maybe two people and me and one whole wall is a
people and me and one whole wall is a
people and me and one whole wall is a bench and I’m sitting on the bench by
bench and I’m sitting on the bench by
bench and I’m sitting on the bench by myself and there’s about this much space
myself and there’s about this much space
myself and there’s about this much space between me and the window and there’s
between me and the window and there’s
between me and the window and there’s this vast open Starbucks and a young man
this vast open Starbucks and a young man
this vast open Starbucks and a young man who is a gang member came walking in and
who is a gang member came walking in and
who is a gang member came walking in and out of the entire Starbucks where do you
out of the entire Starbucks where do you
out of the entire Starbucks where do you think he sat right here not on the left
think he sat right here not on the left
think he sat right here not on the left side of me where there was lots of space
side of me where there was lots of space
side of me where there was lots of space but right here and as i sat there I
but right here and as i sat there I
but right here and as i sat there I thought why is he sitting here and he’s
thought why is he sitting here and he’s
thought why is he sitting here and he’s got his girlfriend with him when we’re
got his girlfriend with him when we’re
got his girlfriend with him when we’re standing he’s sitting there talking to
standing he’s sitting there talking to
standing he’s sitting there talking to her talking about just getting out of
her talking about just getting out of
her talking about just getting out of jail and he’s talking about all this
jail and he’s talking about all this
jail and he’s talking about all this stuff that she did for him while he was
stuff that she did for him while he was
stuff that she did for him while he was in jail and all this stuff that you know
in jail and all this stuff that you know
in jail and all this stuff that you know didn’t happen for him while he was in
didn’t happen for him while he was in
didn’t happen for him while he was in jail and I turned to him and I said what
jail and I turned to him and I said what
jail and I turned to him and I said what jail
and he looked at me and he told me to
and he looked at me and he told me to jail I said well what were you in for
jail I said well what were you in for
jail I said well what were you in for his girlfriend looks at him like are you
his girlfriend looks at him like are you
his girlfriend looks at him like are you even gonna answer this guy but he does
even gonna answer this guy but he does
even gonna answer this guy but he does he says for dealing drugs I said alright
what’s your drug of choice now but this
what’s your drug of choice now but this time his girlfriend is just like losing
time his girlfriend is just like losing
time his girlfriend is just like losing it she just can’t figure out why he’s
it she just can’t figure out why he’s
it she just can’t figure out why he’s even having a conversation with this
even having a conversation with this
even having a conversation with this gray-haired guy sitting in a coffee shop
he says meth I said will this be your
he says meth I said will this be your last round hooks me and says no I said
last round hooks me and says no I said
last round hooks me and says no I said how come he says because Bob I made too
how come he says because Bob I made too
how come he says because Bob I made too much money selling drugs I’m not ready
much money selling drugs I’m not ready
much money selling drugs I’m not ready to walk away from it look before we go
to walk away from it look before we go
to walk away from it look before we go pass any judgment let’s just make no
pass any judgment let’s just make no
pass any judgment let’s just make no mistake there’s stuff you’re not willing
mistake there’s stuff you’re not willing
mistake there’s stuff you’re not willing to walk away from yet either it just
to walk away from yet either it just
to walk away from yet either it just might not be meth it might be TV food
might not be meth it might be TV food
might not be meth it might be TV food sacks whatever it could be something
sacks whatever it could be something
sacks whatever it could be something else but I guarantee there’s things that
else but I guarantee there’s things that
else but I guarantee there’s things that you’re not willing to walk away from
you’re not willing to walk away from
you’re not willing to walk away from either so before we get too judgmental
either so before we get too judgmental
either so before we get too judgmental about it so I asked him I said well uh
about it so I asked him I said well uh
about it so I asked him I said well uh what do your mom and dad think about
what do your mom and dad think about
what do your mom and dad think about this
have you ever had somebody answer
have you ever had somebody answer something that breaks your heart he said
something that breaks your heart he said
something that breaks your heart he said well my mom and dad he does last time I
well my mom and dad he does last time I
well my mom and dad he does last time I saw my mom she said that she didn’t want
saw my mom she said that she didn’t want
saw my mom she said that she didn’t want me to come to her funeral
me to come to her funeral
me to come to her funeral I said well what did you say he said I
I said well what did you say he said I
I said well what did you say he said I told her I won’t I said what about your
told her I won’t I said what about your
told her I won’t I said what about your dad she says my dad the last time I saw
dad she says my dad the last time I saw
dad she says my dad the last time I saw him several years ago said I don’t even
him several years ago said I don’t even
him several years ago said I don’t even have a son anymore and I said I’m sorry
have a son anymore and I said I’m sorry
have a son anymore and I said I’m sorry and he said no it’s okay and I said no
and he said no it’s okay and I said no
and he said no it’s okay and I said no bowl you can fill in the other word it’s
bowl you can fill in the other word it’s
bowl you can fill in the other word it’s not okay it’s not okay for a father to
not okay it’s not okay for a father to
not okay it’s not okay for a father to ever say that to his son do not ever
ever say that to his son do not ever
ever say that to his son do not ever accept that one of the next level
accept that one of the next level
accept that one of the next level pillars I teach is that whatever becomes
pillars I teach is that whatever becomes
pillars I teach is that whatever becomes acceptable becomes inevitable and if you
acceptable becomes inevitable and if you
acceptable becomes inevitable and if you make it acceptable from one person
make it acceptable from one person
make it acceptable from one person you’ll make it acceptable from others
you’ll make it acceptable from others
you’ll make it acceptable from others good or bad and I said it’s not okay and
good or bad and I said it’s not okay and
good or bad and I said it’s not okay and so I flipped a switch for him I said you
so I flipped a switch for him I said you
so I flipped a switch for him I said you know can I give you a gift right now
know can I give you a gift right now
know can I give you a gift right now that will change your life only forever
that will change your life only forever
that will change your life only forever as my Franklin Morshower says it will
as my Franklin Morshower says it will
as my Franklin Morshower says it will change your life only forever if you
change your life only forever if you
change your life only forever if you will listen and receive it and he said
will listen and receive it and he said
will listen and receive it and he said what now you can remember this guy is
what now you can remember this guy is
what now you can remember this guy is tatted from here down just got out of
tatted from here down just got out of
tatted from here down just got out of jail he’s he is not we are not on equal
jail he’s he is not we are not on equal
jail he’s he is not we are not on equal level as far as the way we deal with
level as far as the way we deal with
level as far as the way we deal with life but I said to him this
I said would you please allow me the
I said would you please allow me the privilege of apologizing to you on
privilege of apologizing to you on
privilege of apologizing to you on behalf of your father because you may
behalf of your father because you may
behalf of your father because you may never ever hear it from him and he
never ever hear it from him and he
never ever hear it from him and he looked at me and I said I am so sorry
for all the ways that I let you down as
for all the ways that I let you down as a father I am deeply sorry for
a father I am deeply sorry for
a father I am deeply sorry for everything that I’ve ever done or said
everything that I’ve ever done or said
everything that I’ve ever done or said that was unbecoming of a father I said
that was unbecoming of a father I said
that was unbecoming of a father I said would you please just forgive me because
would you please just forgive me because
would you please just forgive me because I haven’t done it right
I haven’t done it right
I haven’t done it right and I began to cry and he began to well
ladies and gentlemen we have one unique
ladies and gentlemen we have one unique privilege in this world and that is to
privilege in this world and that is to
privilege in this world and that is to connect with other human beings a friend
connect with other human beings a friend
connect with other human beings a friend of mine said where does the air you
of mine said where does the air you
of mine said where does the air you breathe start in the air I breathe stop
breathe start in the air I breathe stop
breathe start in the air I breathe stop that’s how interconnected we really are
that’s how interconnected we really are
that’s how interconnected we really are and yet so often we just get tied up in
and yet so often we just get tied up in
and yet so often we just get tied up in the mumbo-jumbo when we get tied up in
the mumbo-jumbo when we get tied up in
the mumbo-jumbo when we get tied up in just the basic humanity stuff versus
just the basic humanity stuff versus
just the basic humanity stuff versus just really saying what’s really going
just really saying what’s really going
just really saying what’s really going on in your life I mean you know when
on in your life I mean you know when
on in your life I mean you know when I’ve sat down with people it doesn’t
I’ve sat down with people it doesn’t
I’ve sat down with people it doesn’t matter young old it doesn’t matter what
matter young old it doesn’t matter what
matter young old it doesn’t matter what economic background doesn’t matter what
economic background doesn’t matter what
economic background doesn’t matter what social status it doesn’t matter what
social status it doesn’t matter what
social status it doesn’t matter what race it doesn’t matter what religion it
race it doesn’t matter what religion it
race it doesn’t matter what religion it doesn’t matter when you literally make a
doesn’t matter when you literally make a
doesn’t matter when you literally make a connection with people and that’s the
connection with people and that’s the
connection with people and that’s the opportunity we have you don’t have a
opportunity we have you don’t have a
opportunity we have you don’t have a great opportunity I get to work as a
great opportunity I get to work as a
great opportunity I get to work as a human behaviorist I get to work with
human behaviorist I get to work with
human behaviorist I get to work with some amazing people I mean from
some amazing people I mean from
some amazing people I mean from everything from drug addicts living
everything from drug addicts living
everything from drug addicts living under bridges to celebrities to
under bridges to celebrities to
under bridges to celebrities to professional athletes I mean you name it
professional athletes I mean you name it
professional athletes I mean you name it across the board CEOs of major
across the board CEOs of major
across the board CEOs of major corporations one of the coolest
corporations one of the coolest
corporations one of the coolest opportunities I have is to really just
opportunities I have is to really just
opportunities I have is to really just get to know people as a human
get to know people as a human
get to know people as a human behaviorist my background is just really
behaviorist my background is just really
behaviorist my background is just really steady on why somebody does something
steady on why somebody does something
steady on why somebody does something that they say they’re never gonna do
that they say they’re never gonna do
that they say they’re never gonna do again and why somebody keeps doing
again and why somebody keeps doing
again and why somebody keeps doing something that they say they’re never
something that they say they’re never
something that they say they’re never gonna do again and one of the coolest
gonna do again and one of the coolest
gonna do again and one of the coolest opportunities I had to was to meet Garth
opportunities I had to was to meet Garth
opportunities I had to was to meet Garth Brooks see ya
Brooks see ya
Brooks see ya 18 years ago I had a daughter died in a
18 years ago I had a daughter died in a
18 years ago I had a daughter died in a car accident that I witnessed and during
car accident that I witnessed and during
car accident that I witnessed and during that time I had written on the back of a
that time I had written on the back of a
that time I had written on the back of a business card yes my life has better
business card yes my life has better
business card yes my life has better left to chance I could have missed the
left to chance I could have missed the
left to chance I could have missed the pain but I’d have had to miss the dance
pain but I’d have had to miss the dance
pain but I’d have had to miss the dance remember the dance by Garth and I said
remember the dance by Garth and I said
remember the dance by Garth and I said may see her name wasn’t Maisie I said
may see her name wasn’t Maisie I said
may see her name wasn’t Maisie I said Maisie you’re the one dancer I would
Maisie you’re the one dancer I would
Maisie you’re the one dancer I would never wish to miss no matter how short
never wish to miss no matter how short
never wish to miss no matter how short the song was she was three years old and
the song was she was three years old and
the song was she was three years old and I said I’m gonna carry this is my want
I said I’m gonna carry this is my want
I said I’m gonna carry this is my want I’m gonna give it to Garth one day and
I’m gonna give it to Garth one day and
I’m gonna give it to Garth one day and lo and behold a few years later I happen
lo and behold a few years later I happen
lo and behold a few years later I happen to be at an event somebody says Garth
to be at an event somebody says Garth
to be at an event somebody says Garth Brooks please come to the stage for the
Brooks please come to the stage for the
Brooks please come to the stage for the day of rehearsal he wasn’t even on the
day of rehearsal he wasn’t even on the
day of rehearsal he wasn’t even on the list I had no idea he was gonna be there
list I had no idea he was gonna be there
list I had no idea he was gonna be there there
there
there I walked up to him and I said Garth as
I walked up to him and I said Garth as
I walked up to him and I said Garth as he was coming down from rehearsal I said
he was coming down from rehearsal I said
he was coming down from rehearsal I said gurth can I can I just have a second he
gurth can I can I just have a second he
gurth can I can I just have a second he says sure what’s up he’s coming down the
says sure what’s up he’s coming down the
says sure what’s up he’s coming down the run he’s coming down the risers I’m
run he’s coming down the risers I’m
run he’s coming down the risers I’m standing at the bottom and he says
standing at the bottom and he says
standing at the bottom and he says what’s up I said I hand him the card and
what’s up I said I hand him the card and
what’s up I said I hand him the card and he looks at the card just like this and
he looks at the card just like this and
he looks at the card just like this and he goes we spent 45 minutes talking
he goes we spent 45 minutes talking
he goes we spent 45 minutes talking man-to-man we didn’t talk about records
man-to-man we didn’t talk about records
man-to-man we didn’t talk about records we didn’t talk about album we didn’t
we didn’t talk about album we didn’t
we didn’t talk about album we didn’t talk about CD sales we didn’t talk about
talk about CD sales we didn’t talk about
talk about CD sales we didn’t talk about number-one recording artists we didn’t
number-one recording artists we didn’t
number-one recording artists we didn’t talk about anything symmetric this is
talk about anything symmetric this is
talk about anything symmetric this is what I want to teach you about
what I want to teach you about
what I want to teach you about connecting learn to ask great questions
connecting learn to ask great questions
connecting learn to ask great questions and don’t be afraid of the difficult
and don’t be afraid of the difficult
and don’t be afraid of the difficult ones if you want to build deeper
ones if you want to build deeper
ones if you want to build deeper relationships you’re gonna have to go
relationships you’re gonna have to go
relationships you’re gonna have to go deeper one of the coolest things he did
deeper one of the coolest things he did
deeper one of the coolest things he did was he said he stood right there and he
was he said he stood right there and he
was he said he stood right there and he says Bob yeah
says Bob yeah
says Bob yeah how old was she I said three he goes how
how old was she I said three he goes how
how old was she I said three he goes how did she die
did she die
did she die I said car accident
Bob do you have other kids see I have
Bob do you have other kids see I have three other kids this is what are their
three other kids this is what are their
three other kids this is what are their names
names
names told the names what are their ages
told the names what are their ages
told the names what are their ages tolling they just just Bob I’ve got
tolling they just just Bob I’ve got
tolling they just just Bob I’ve got three little girls in my own he goes man
three little girls in my own he goes man
three little girls in my own he goes man he goes I just don’t understand he goes
he goes I just don’t understand he goes
he goes I just don’t understand he goes what did you tell them Bob how do you as
what did you tell them Bob how do you as
what did you tell them Bob how do you as a father ever get over that
we had a man-to-man experience in a
we had a man-to-man experience in a moment where the room was crowded people
moment where the room was crowded people
moment where the room was crowded people were rehearsing and everything else one
were rehearsing and everything else one
were rehearsing and everything else one of the best things you will ever learn
of the best things you will ever learn
of the best things you will ever learn to do and not just learn to do it but
to do and not just learn to do it but
to do and not just learn to do it but learn to master it is to be 100% present
learn to master it is to be 100% present
learn to master it is to be 100% present with someone even when there’s a lot of
with someone even when there’s a lot of
with someone even when there’s a lot of distractions around when you’re here and
distractions around when you’re here and
distractions around when you’re here and you’re talking to someone let that be
you’re talking to someone let that be
you’re talking to someone let that be the only thing that matters because
the only thing that matters because
the only thing that matters because guess what to someone it is to someone
guess what to someone it is to someone
guess what to someone it is to someone it is the only thing that matters and I
it is the only thing that matters and I
it is the only thing that matters and I gotta close with this and I’ll tell you
gotta close with this and I’ll tell you
gotta close with this and I’ll tell you this if I were to survey everyone in
this if I were to survey everyone in
this if I were to survey everyone in this room and say who made you feel the
this room and say who made you feel the
this room and say who made you feel the most important this morning while you
most important this morning while you
most important this morning while you were here would they have said your name
were here would they have said your name
were here would they have said your name and if not why not now would be a great
and if not why not now would be a great
and if not why not now would be a great time to make a change and say I will
time to make a change and say I will
time to make a change and say I will determine that everyone in this room is
determine that everyone in this room is
determine that everyone in this room is made to know that I care about them as a
made to know that I care about them as a
made to know that I care about them as a human being first thank you
human being first thank you
human being first thank you [Applause]
”
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