we live in relationship is not a choice
that we have
we are already discovering the
relationship with our mother or
because of her
the relationship with our first
caregivers
We will grow up and this will
expanding the relationship with our
friends with the familiar teachers and
the people that we are
street and even those who want to isolate themselves because
tired of the people of
humanity goes there first forest goes
have to relate to the waters with
the plants with the soil will have to
learn to read the environment
we live in relationship and it is not a
choice that we have we’re
together in this people even
unequal shape
the same planet but we live in a
society that puts the entire system of
value and very existence around
of eu
I want what I like, what I want
I think what I say I deserve
my trajectory my fears my
dreams
we have been stimulated thus since
little practically the only thing that
it matters
me and in the history of the we people are
always chasing after, always focusing on the
that has – we are tired people
think there is little in the history of the
people want people to be equal to
us and there we create these
evaluations and judgments and
expectations based on how I am and
there always having as a reference
no, for one, we sit down
misunderstood I speak and are not
understanding the world is getting boring
people complain when it comes to an opinion
I am confronted with the impetus and
join with the same or close
we fight agents exclude the networks of
life we voids we do joke
the self that has economic and moral strength
social or impose their way on
too much
we create patterns and an idea of
equality that only deep problem
It seems that it’s not working very well.
after all we live in relationship is not
a choice that we have
so if we told a story
of us a history of us the euro
loses a little of this importance to us
shifts our attention also to the
another and for our many
relationships and when people move
attention to another and maybe people
realize what is quite obvious but the
people still have enough difficulty
assume say out loud who we are
many different
Some people even get distracted by saying that
We’re all human to say we are
We are all alike but we are not much
different ones and a history of us what
we need to learn to
to live with this difference because this
both of different opinion points are
diversity of realities and
more and more people are talking
how they feel what they think as if it is the
their reality by exposing their
intimacies and these voices bring
questions that opened up
many other ways of being much more
plural than a certain unique way
and with more people talking about realities
that we do not know and do not understand the
challenge is to listen but it is not
that hears what I’m leaving
You talk while here in my
head is preparing an answer
super great is an incredible argument and
get out of here now she will not leave
pass
this is me my argument is a
story of us is to listen to
to permeate the other
whoever the other recognizes as
legitimate as who has something to say
like someone who has something to teach and
this kind of listening creates an environment
confidence that people can
be free to
themselves because they think
even though we are discordant and beyond
content of the I think this I think that
we agree we disagree
look at how we talk
only that this type of listening is very
difficult because this kind of listening
Wakes us up a lot of bad things
It bothers and causes a lot of discomfort and then
we can see if you can still
hold the wave and keep that
people perceive this annoyance a conflict
not only with the other but a conflict with
we even
I’ve had some personal conflicts.
the change of work of a universe
for a workspace
made more sense to me was one of them
but recently I recognized myself as
Woman, I understood what it means in this
I’m the one I always had
freedom of tv and choice
I had good opportunities
I had speech spaces
I live alone, I traveled alone alone.
boyfriend’s friend then to me I was
being well, this agenda is neither
so much about me I was neither hooded nor
I tried so hard to know at the same time
my most intimate relationships
just with men who loved me
was a constant sensation of
insecurity
there was always something wrong that
they readily pointed to the clothes
friends
the way to talk the dance
The way to baby stay at home time
too much does not stop at home now
change of mind it always seemed that
had a problem and the problem was always
I
and then I realized a lot taking care of the
these men more than my own.
because I knew that when they
burst was worse
like when I was in a place and I
I wanted to stay in the yard, exchanging ideas.
with the guys and did not want and take one
nap
after lunch I was swept away by the
arm and flung out and
locked out after hearing a
scoundrel
when I came back from a trip that I did
with two friends and could not explain
my leg and then I heard that after
is raped drunk and complains when I
I heard that I had to thank because
I was getting an ox because he liked it
from me
though I was the way I was
when I took the initiative and heard that
it must have been because she was insecure
wanting to prove something or when
They said that I did not care
No one, and they stopped talking to me.
because I got a tattoo
there were numerous situations like this
over the years and I realize every time
more observing my behavior
looking at everything revisiting by waking up in the
next day going from point to point
all that I had done
revisiting all the conversations thinking
thousand times to choose anything
because I was very afraid of
make mistakes that would make these men
who loved me stop loving me and this
it was absolutely normal years
so was what I knew and was a
meeting other women and listening to the
experience that I realized that the
it was not me
it’s not the problem, it’s me
if the problem were me as I could
have stories and two so similar to
of these many women living in
Many different contexts are different
never even met it was super difficult
because I started to see where before
I saw bad mood
communication and joke I started to
to see violence and where I used to
in myself that it was a capacity
supercomprehensive and flexible I started
to see submission and silencing
It was very painful to start seeing
these violence on all sides and
I noticed they are strongly marked
It was very difficult for me to forgive myself.
for having allowed these things
happened
because I was there too
after that what began was a
individual process of staying very
vigilant and attentive to never allow
that these violence happen
will never return to naturalize again
this does not reproduce this with other
women because at the same time it was
painful was extremely liberating
for the first time i could be the way
that I was was okay problem no
it was my personal conflict that
led me to recognize myself as a woman
taught me to speak and to position myself more
living with other women too
I realized that we are not all the same as
black women brought pain and
stories I did not have because they
are also apprehended by racism and
I’m not
she also brought symbolic cultures
dance references stories
spirituality that I did not know
because he had not been introduced to
me before
Then began another personal conflict
extremely painful that it was me
recognize how white woman me
to recognize as a white woman was me
recognizing a structure of the
teacher recognize me benefited by
she recognized in me behaviors that
made this difference
I continued then I started to
feel so guilty of racism but
responsible for it because there gives
from black women that if
my intention was not to produce
racism is the consequence of several
my actions
it was precisely this that deepens this
difference and was very painful because
I do not want to be that person, I do not
I believe in that
The challenge then began to be to listen and
try to understand why nothing in my
life brings me closer to understanding what
it is structural violence like
racism
institutional framework that takes place in all
spaces since you are born
which still determines that in
and whoever dies nor the bullying I suffered
in school neither that hair nor a great-grandfather
black nothing brings me closer to understanding
what is racism
so I have to listen and look for
understand and from this look at the
my own behavior and try
deconstruct in me these things since
He’s not the society I believe in.
I realized for example you have a
very difficult to write a
person as black but I would not hesitate
inscribe her as a redhead because
associations are those that will
popping on the heads of people who are going to
creating this difficulty of saying a
something that is even obvious
I started to be vigilant because
is unnatural says build these
things and I changed the way I
I communicate I said beautiful black woman
when I heard a beautiful woman’s voice
I was white because I also stopped
I noticed in the language expressions
everyday life that we use and that
deepen this difference by reinforcing
negative images
nobody drowned or need help
not only mega that work of blacks
are everyday expressions that are
used in an almost
generalized and which has a
racist and precisely reinforce this
difference but I do not believe it
so I could not speak any more, I can not
more talk I create an alarm in my
head is kim and not only when
I am about to speak is yes i
replaced by a person who gives
replacing people will fulfill the same
It is made
as I also listen every time
Someone says why I’m giving
attention because it’s not natural for me
It’s only natural to reproduce what I
I’m listening to my conflict
that led me to recognize myself
As a white woman, she made me learn to
listen and give space because if I do not
I believe in this world I have to be
very very very attentive with the way
How I ‘m putting myself to this?
no
feed and deepen this difference but
this is not easy because these
personal conflicts
they are not put when someone
say one thing is difficult and it’s difficult
to listen to people do not naturally enter
in this way of personal conflict in this
history of self
In this story of the self we close ourselves
people do not even hear someone speak
This is machismo, this is racism and
people in our place I ‘m thinking
What I think about this I think
I saw that it did not but my friend
said I do not know what it is not about me
over the other
when someone is sharing and
talking about a situation of
violence that she is experiencing
is talking about you and if this is a
reality that brings strangeness is
because this reality is not yours and this
nuisance is big that just signals
what a greater effort it should be to
listen to try to know this
reality, we advocate based on the
intention in our history but I
I did not want to do this but when
Someone is talking about how to
She’s not talking about our reality.
of the self’s intention
intention is a particular thing only
person who is doing things can
to tell her what she’s doing
here but she’s speaking the
consequences and that is where our
greater challenge and also the greater
processing power of that
listen to the possibility of looking back
for yourself and to change your own
behavior and through this change
begin to build a more
aligned with what it believes align the
consequently, since the
people are so strong that the intention
it’s not that
also take care of what happens after
responsible for bringing about changes
externalities from the change in how
people put themselves in the world that’s how I
I’ve done that I’ve been trying to be
in a painful process a process that
is intensifying that each layer
that changes and other things are revealed
other challenges appear but much in
search for being better and mainly
coherence between what I say and what
I think what I feel and what I do
the world that I want to build a world
In which I want to live
and then you have to work hard
Will because this is not natural
It ‘s difficult for us to have the conversations.
that we need more
fundamentally be in this way of
to seek more coherence and
I come for the last if almost five years
undertaking together with Mariana
campanati imagines that it is a
organization that seeks to activate power
transformation of people because the
people really believe in the power of choice
as a way of provoking these
transformations that we make of
one side connecting people who already
are in this movement to provoke
changes so that they can change
learn together and collaborate and from another
producing content that is
tools to find this power of
transformation in exercising this
opening and experimenting with
concrete
tools such as the game
trick in which through characters with
personalities and goals
specific players experience a
situation of conflict with the objective of
solve so that everyone leaves
contemplated
It’s a light and fun way to
exercise dialogue and exercise empathy
as a way to solve these
conflicts that are many that
more and more from the
moment that people are winning
more voices that we do not want to come back
to silence anyone because you are a
privilege
we live in relationship and if we do not
it’s a choice we have people
have a choice of how we
want to build the
so that we choose
build a history of us
thanks
[Applause]
”
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