a study has been conducted by newman’s which is a national institute of medical
which is a national institute of medical
which is a national institute of medical mental health and neurosciences in bangu
mental health and neurosciences in bangu
mental health and neurosciences in bangu which is stated that almost 31
which is stated that almost 31
which is stated that almost 31 percentage of four times it’ll end up
percentage of four times it’ll end up
percentage of four times it’ll end up their life by committing suicide and
their life by committing suicide and
their life by committing suicide and among those 31 percentage of for
among those 31 percentage of for
among those 31 percentage of for transgenders almost 50 percentage of
transgenders almost 50 percentage of
transgenders almost 50 percentage of transgenders have committed suicide even
transgenders have committed suicide even
transgenders have committed suicide even before their 20th birthday so even I
before their 20th birthday so even I
before their 20th birthday so even I myself try to end up my life not only
myself try to end up my life not only
myself try to end up my life not only once almost 5 times due to fear of
once almost 5 times due to fear of
once almost 5 times due to fear of rejections from my family and friends
rejections from my family and friends
rejections from my family and friends and society but good that it didn’t work
and society but good that it didn’t work
and society but good that it didn’t work out because today I feel very proud and
out because today I feel very proud and
out because today I feel very proud and happy person because I have came all
happy person because I have came all
happy person because I have came all along by fighting and winning the
along by fighting and winning the
along by fighting and winning the struggles all over so this is Ananya
struggles all over so this is Ananya
struggles all over so this is Ananya krishnan 31 years old and
so I just wanted to share my story for
so I just wanted to share my story for the few next few minutes some time
the few next few minutes some time
the few next few minutes some time unknown I always longed to become a
unknown I always longed to become a
unknown I always longed to become a doctor
doctor
doctor I guess most of the children of my time
I guess most of the children of my time
I guess most of the children of my time would have also had the same dream
would have also had the same dream
would have also had the same dream whereas you see light doesn’t give us a
whereas you see light doesn’t give us a
whereas you see light doesn’t give us a better process for all even actually
better process for all even actually
better process for all even actually when the most of the children of my age
when the most of the children of my age
when the most of the children of my age were enjoying their childhood I was
were enjoying their childhood I was
were enjoying their childhood I was trying to come to terms with my own self
trying to come to terms with my own self
trying to come to terms with my own self and stress and depression were always my
and stress and depression were always my
and stress and depression were always my part of my childhood imagine if you have
part of my childhood imagine if you have
part of my childhood imagine if you have a soul of a girl trapped inside a male
a soul of a girl trapped inside a male
a soul of a girl trapped inside a male body definitely I know it is not a know
body definitely I know it is not a know
body definitely I know it is not a know easy thing to imagine even but you see a
easy thing to imagine even but you see a
easy thing to imagine even but you see a girl – a girl but you are actually
girl – a girl but you are actually
girl – a girl but you are actually trapped into a body of a boy about that
trapped into a body of a boy about that
trapped into a body of a boy about that social external pressures like social
social external pressures like social
social external pressures like social stigma towards transgenders and also the
stigma towards transgenders and also the
stigma towards transgenders and also the traditional Orthodox parental upbringing
traditional Orthodox parental upbringing
traditional Orthodox parental upbringing also until intensified my stress and
also until intensified my stress and
also until intensified my stress and depression I was helpless and I
depression I was helpless and I
depression I was helpless and I questioned my own existence I believed
questioned my own existence I believed
questioned my own existence I believed that there was nothing much I can do
that there was nothing much I can do
that there was nothing much I can do about how different I felt so I
about how different I felt so I
about how different I felt so I gradually realized about my gender
gradually realized about my gender
gradually realized about my gender dysphoria and how my brain function
dysphoria and how my brain function
dysphoria and how my brain function differently from the other section of my
differently from the other section of my
differently from the other section of my same thing and also this has been the
same thing and also this has been the
same thing and also this has been the same way from since my birth regardless
same way from since my birth regardless
same way from since my birth regardless of how I have been raised and also how
of how I have been raised and also how
of how I have been raised and also how worldly experiences have influenced me
worldly experiences have influenced me
worldly experiences have influenced me maybe I was believed that by the
maybe I was believed that by the
maybe I was believed that by the so-called society that my existence was
so-called society that my existence was
so-called society that my existence was worthless when most of the children of
worthless when most of the children of
worthless when most of the children of my age were actually enjoying their
my age were actually enjoying their
my age were actually enjoying their childhood and also during my school days
childhood and also during my school days
childhood and also during my school days I was like hopeless and I was always you
I was like hopeless and I was always you
I was like hopeless and I was always you know depressed and stressed more and
know depressed and stressed more and
know depressed and stressed more and also doing my schooling phase it was a
also doing my schooling phase it was a
also doing my schooling phase it was a very difficult
very difficult
very difficult face for me because I was faced
face for me because I was faced
face for me because I was faced countless incidents of sexual harassment
countless incidents of sexual harassment
countless incidents of sexual harassment and also bullying from my classmates I
and also bullying from my classmates I
and also bullying from my classmates I felt like my whole life was a lie
felt like my whole life was a lie
felt like my whole life was a lie and also whenever I see myself in the
and also whenever I see myself in the
and also whenever I see myself in the mirror I felt there is a strong disgust
mirror I felt there is a strong disgust
mirror I felt there is a strong disgust of feeling is creeping through me my
of feeling is creeping through me my
of feeling is creeping through me my classmates were actually be seen setting
classmates were actually be seen setting
classmates were actually be seen setting that aspiration goals but I was hopeless
that aspiration goals but I was hopeless
that aspiration goals but I was hopeless by seeing other transgender people who
by seeing other transgender people who
by seeing other transgender people who are being indulged in sexual work and
are being indulged in sexual work and
are being indulged in sexual work and baking so my fears knew no bounds when I
baking so my fears knew no bounds when I
baking so my fears knew no bounds when I thought that my life also will be the
thought that my life also will be the
thought that my life also will be the same but I can consider that as my
same but I can consider that as my
same but I can consider that as my turning point in my life because I made
turning point in my life because I made
turning point in my life because I made a promise to myself that in any case are
a promise to myself that in any case are
a promise to myself that in any case are not be indulging in those activities and
not be indulging in those activities and
not be indulging in those activities and also I did and also I began to feel
also I did and also I began to feel
also I did and also I began to feel empathetic about those transgenders who
empathetic about those transgenders who
empathetic about those transgenders who are being pushed into sexual work and
are being pushed into sexual work and
are being pushed into sexual work and breaking words because those people are
breaking words because those people are
breaking words because those people are none of them the reflection of our own
none of them the reflection of our own
none of them the reflection of our own society who are being rejected from
society who are being rejected from
society who are being rejected from their own family and also they are being
their own family and also they are being
their own family and also they are being denied a basic education so they are
denied a basic education so they are
denied a basic education so they are being left with no other option other
being left with no other option other
being left with no other option other than begging begging in sexual work for
than begging begging in sexual work for
than begging begging in sexual work for their survival
their survival
their survival the irony years the normal cisgender men
the irony years the normal cisgender men
the irony years the normal cisgender men who rejects who denies even the basic
who rejects who denies even the basic
who rejects who denies even the basic respect for the transgenders also
respect for the transgenders also
respect for the transgenders also criticize them 6 for their sexual favors
criticize them 6 for their sexual favors
criticize them 6 for their sexual favors all these together push me to complete
all these together push me to complete
all these together push me to complete my graduation with all the great
my graduation with all the great
my graduation with all the great determination and grit and though I
determination and grit and though I
determination and grit and though I wanted to pursue medicine in order to
wanted to pursue medicine in order to
wanted to pursue medicine in order to understand myself better I’m it’s of all
understand myself better I’m it’s of all
understand myself better I’m it’s of all this stress and depression which was
this stress and depression which was
this stress and depression which was always something pulling me behind
always something pulling me behind
always something pulling me behind I couldn’t able to get into only the
I couldn’t able to get into only the
I couldn’t able to get into only the paramedical cozbie pharmacy and I found
paramedical cozbie pharmacy and I found
paramedical cozbie pharmacy and I found the cocoon around myself during my
the cocoon around myself during my
the cocoon around myself during my graduation days there are add a passion
graduation days there are add a passion
graduation days there are add a passion of dancing and singing
of dancing and singing
of dancing and singing I couldn’t able to wanted to come along
I couldn’t able to wanted to come along
I couldn’t able to wanted to come along because of those bitter experience I had
because of those bitter experience I had
because of those bitter experience I had during my schooling days in spite of all
during my schooling days in spite of all
during my schooling days in spite of all this I excelled in my academics and also
this I excelled in my academics and also
this I excelled in my academics and also I I was the topper mom in my college and
also my ambition did not stop there so I
also my ambition did not stop there so I went on pursuing my post graduation
went on pursuing my post graduation
went on pursuing my post graduation inform ecology my education helped me to
inform ecology my education helped me to
inform ecology my education helped me to a greater extent to come to terms with
a greater extent to come to terms with
a greater extent to come to terms with my own self and also it helped me to
my own self and also it helped me to
my own self and also it helped me to accept myself and also I understood that
accept myself and also I understood that
accept myself and also I understood that being a transgender person is not a
being a transgender person is not a
being a transgender person is not a habit that you can break off power of
habit that you can break off power of
habit that you can break off power of mindset you can force you or it is
mindset you can force you or it is
mindset you can force you or it is something which can be treated with
something which can be treated with
something which can be treated with psychotherapy or drugs it is a genetic
psychotherapy or drugs it is a genetic
psychotherapy or drugs it is a genetic construction which will never ever
construction which will never ever
construction which will never ever change so I came finally came to
change so I came finally came to
change so I came finally came to understanding that I cannot continue
understanding that I cannot continue
understanding that I cannot continue living the life which was I was living
living the life which was I was living
living the life which was I was living for the past 21 years so I decided and I
for the past 21 years so I decided and I
for the past 21 years so I decided and I wasn’t P at all and I wasn’t honest to
wasn’t P at all and I wasn’t honest to
wasn’t P at all and I wasn’t honest to myself by to those people who are on me
myself by to those people who are on me
myself by to those people who are on me so I decided to undergo transition and
so I decided to undergo transition and
so I decided to undergo transition and to stop pretending someone am NOT
to stop pretending someone am NOT
to stop pretending someone am NOT actually our gender identity is being
actually our gender identity is being
actually our gender identity is being imprinted not brain since we were in the
imprinted not brain since we were in the
imprinted not brain since we were in the mother soon it is also might be proven
mother soon it is also might be proven
mother soon it is also might be proven that individuals are born with the
that individuals are born with the
that individuals are born with the different gender identity from their
different gender identity from their
different gender identity from their anatomical sex and also we cannot change
anatomical sex and also we cannot change
anatomical sex and also we cannot change the imprints in our brain so we change
the imprints in our brain so we change
the imprints in our brain so we change our anatomical sex in line with our
our anatomical sex in line with our
our anatomical sex in line with our plane so that’s how I decided so I
plane so that’s how I decided so I
plane so that’s how I decided so I decided to undergo transition and also
decided to undergo transition and also
decided to undergo transition and also it is not simply about clothing or a
it is not simply about clothing or a
it is not simply about clothing or a feminine name it is a net sense of me so
feminine name it is a net sense of me so
feminine name it is a net sense of me so this is what me so I want to be true to
this is what me so I want to be true to
this is what me so I want to be true to myself and all these together are an
myself and all these together are an
myself and all these together are an exceptional friends who also stood by me
exceptional friends who also stood by me
exceptional friends who also stood by me motivated me and also they understood
motivated me and also they understood
motivated me and also they understood the purpose of me in
the purpose of me in
the purpose of me in my life and also they molded me to be
my life and also they molded me to be
my life and also they molded me to be what I am today without them I don’t
what I am today without them I don’t
what I am today without them I don’t think I’ll be I would have been existed
think I’ll be I would have been existed
think I’ll be I would have been existed also although I got self motivated
also although I got self motivated
also although I got self motivated within myself when I started to
within myself when I started to
within myself when I started to attending the job interviews I was able
attending the job interviews I was able
attending the job interviews I was able to clear all the technical drawers but
to clear all the technical drawers but
to clear all the technical drawers but when the HR round schemes and the people
when the HR round schemes and the people
when the HR round schemes and the people come to know about my gender disorder in
come to know about my gender disorder in
come to know about my gender disorder in gender dysphoria the usual thing I used
gender dysphoria the usual thing I used
gender dysphoria the usual thing I used to hear is we are happy with your
to hear is we are happy with your
to hear is we are happy with your performance however we’ll discuss with
performance however we’ll discuss with
performance however we’ll discuss with that team and get back to you I never
that team and get back to you I never
that team and get back to you I never got a call back and even one more
got a call back and even one more
got a call back and even one more organization they went one step beyond
organization they went one step beyond
organization they went one step beyond and considering my gender transgender
and considering my gender transgender
and considering my gender transgender and they said that they are a pain
and they said that they are a pain
and they said that they are a pain taking mean only if I done with my
taking mean only if I done with my
taking mean only if I done with my sexual reassignment surgery and again
sexual reassignment surgery and again
sexual reassignment surgery and again the irony here was that I was in order
the irony here was that I was in order
the irony here was that I was in order to done get down my surgery I need a
to done get down my surgery I need a
to done get down my surgery I need a financial assistant and for the
financial assistant and for the
financial assistant and for the financial assistant a job is must and
financial assistant a job is must and
financial assistant a job is must and this time was indeed prime trying trying
this time was indeed prime trying trying
this time was indeed prime trying trying time for me and also I thought a
time for me and also I thought a
time for me and also I thought a graduation can give me an identity to
graduation can give me an identity to
graduation can give me an identity to lead a dignified life but then only I
lead a dignified life but then only I
lead a dignified life but then only I got a bigger blow because when I was
got a bigger blow because when I was
got a bigger blow because when I was wanted to stay independently I was
wanted to stay independently I was
wanted to stay independently I was looking for a rental home and PG
looking for a rental home and PG
looking for a rental home and PG accommodation so we speak about gender
accommodation so we speak about gender
accommodation so we speak about gender equality and all the inclusive
equality and all the inclusive
equality and all the inclusive everything but when it comes as simple
everything but when it comes as simple
everything but when it comes as simple thing as renting and ohm for
thing as renting and ohm for
thing as renting and ohm for transgenders actually we are not that
transgenders actually we are not that
transgenders actually we are not that broad minded what we speak up so I was
broad minded what we speak up so I was
broad minded what we speak up so I was denied for a rental home and a PG
denied for a rental home and a PG
denied for a rental home and a PG accommodation just because being raised
accommodation just because being raised
accommodation just because being raised in that I’m a transgender so this was
in that I’m a transgender so this was
in that I’m a transgender so this was the very not only frustrating for me it
the very not only frustrating for me it
the very not only frustrating for me it was very humiliating too and also when I
was very humiliating too and also when I
was very humiliating too and also when I was losing all my self-confidence and
was losing all my self-confidence and
was losing all my self-confidence and getting a job and also getting
getting a job and also getting
getting a job and also getting accommodative society I would receive a
accommodative society I would receive a
accommodative society I would receive a call from the current organization and
call from the current organization and
call from the current organization and they are like they gave me a job and I
they are like they gave me a job and I
they are like they gave me a job and I was happily settled with my profession
was happily settled with my profession
was happily settled with my profession as of now and also down the lane I
as of now and also down the lane I
as of now and also down the lane I wanted to see myself as an humble and a
wanted to see myself as an humble and a
wanted to see myself as an humble and a great quality leadership person and also
great quality leadership person and also
great quality leadership person and also I want occurring towards my post
I want occurring towards my post
I want occurring towards my post doctoral fellowship and in my personal
doctoral fellowship and in my personal
doctoral fellowship and in my personal friend I really wanted to be responsible
friend I really wanted to be responsible
friend I really wanted to be responsible for this society of transgenders and I
for this society of transgenders and I
for this society of transgenders and I wanted to change the image of
wanted to change the image of
wanted to change the image of transgender people once the people they
transgender people once the people they
transgender people once the people they get to know about a transgender person
get to know about a transgender person
get to know about a transgender person the people already have a peace of mind
the people already have a peace of mind
the people already have a peace of mind that transgender is something like they
that transgender is something like they
that transgender is something like they would be indulging in sexual work and
would be indulging in sexual work and
would be indulging in sexual work and picking on me so I’m very happy to be a
picking on me so I’m very happy to be a
picking on me so I’m very happy to be a part of that a few people who are being
part of that a few people who are being
part of that a few people who are being working on that to proving themselves
working on that to proving themselves
working on that to proving themselves that they wanted to change the image of
that they wanted to change the image of
that they wanted to change the image of transgender and also I would like to
transgender and also I would like to
transgender and also I would like to sponsor a few trans people too to make
sponsor a few trans people too to make
sponsor a few trans people too to make them to lead a dignified life and also I
them to lead a dignified life and also I
them to lead a dignified life and also I hope they will also be extending their
hope they will also be extending their
hope they will also be extending their help to the other transgenders
and also into people’s because as a
and also into people’s because as a transgender people’s we don’t we never
transgender people’s we don’t we never
transgender people’s we don’t we never have a chance of getting family and all
have a chance of getting family and all
have a chance of getting family and all so at the elder aids elder stages we
so at the elder aids elder stages we
so at the elder aids elder stages we suffer a lot without even a carer so I
suffer a lot without even a carer so I
suffer a lot without even a carer so I wanted to build a home for the elder and
wanted to build a home for the elder and
wanted to build a home for the elder and center people to give a fullest care of
center people to give a fullest care of
center people to give a fullest care of them and also might like my story and
them and also might like my story and
them and also might like my story and among other achievers of transgender
among other achievers of transgender
among other achievers of transgender story I hope it will be giving and hope
story I hope it will be giving and hope
story I hope it will be giving and hope further next time cinder piece in person
further next time cinder piece in person
further next time cinder piece in person who is trying to end their life and also
who is trying to end their life and also
who is trying to end their life and also to the next future generation parents
to the next future generation parents
to the next future generation parents who will be understanding as even better
who will be understanding as even better
who will be understanding as even better more so this is what and this is what I
more so this is what and this is what I
more so this is what and this is what I am so I wanted to be myself and I wanted
am so I wanted to be myself and I wanted
am so I wanted to be myself and I wanted to be true to myself and I
to be true to myself and I
to be true to myself and I so the life which I wanted to live so
so the life which I wanted to live so
so the life which I wanted to live so thanks
thanks
thanks [Applause]
”
Be First to Comment