[Music] [Applause]
first is that this is not going to be a
first is that this is not going to be a self-help talk this is not going to be
self-help talk this is not going to be
self-help talk this is not going to be about overcoming your fear and one of
about overcoming your fear and one of
about overcoming your fear and one of the reasons it’s not about overcoming
the reasons it’s not about overcoming
the reasons it’s not about overcoming your fear is that as a Horace
your fear is that as a Horace
your fear is that as a Horace screenwriter I have a somewhat
screenwriter I have a somewhat
screenwriter I have a somewhat complicated relationship with fear it’s
complicated relationship with fear it’s
complicated relationship with fear it’s not just about overcoming it’s about
not just about overcoming it’s about
not just about overcoming it’s about using the second reason that this is not
using the second reason that this is not
using the second reason that this is not going to be any kind of self-help talk
going to be any kind of self-help talk
going to be any kind of self-help talk for you guys it may be for me but it’s
for you guys it may be for me but it’s
for you guys it may be for me but it’s not you guys it’s because as a Horace
not you guys it’s because as a Horace
not you guys it’s because as a Horace screenwriter I’m not the guy you want to
screenwriter I’m not the guy you want to
screenwriter I’m not the guy you want to take advice from all over the world on
take advice from all over the world on
take advice from all over the world on Ted and TEDx pages you have great
Ted and TEDx pages you have great
Ted and TEDx pages you have great thinkers you have great scholars who
thinkers you have great scholars who
thinkers you have great scholars who have activists you have people who are
have activists you have people who are
have activists you have people who are changing the world in a positive way
changing the world in a positive way
changing the world in a positive way every day I am the guy who wrote the
every day I am the guy who wrote the
every day I am the guy who wrote the original screenplay for the film
original screenplay for the film
original screenplay for the film strippers versus wearers so if you’re
strippers versus wearers so if you’re
strippers versus wearers so if you’re going to take my cue for pasty don’t
going to take my cue for pasty don’t
going to take my cue for pasty don’t make it for me all right everything I’m
make it for me all right everything I’m
make it for me all right everything I’m going to say is true it except I’m going
going to say is true it except I’m going
going to say is true it except I’m going to throw in one lie so see if you can
to throw in one lie so see if you can
to throw in one lie so see if you can spot that as we go through throughout my
spot that as we go through throughout my
spot that as we go through throughout my childhood and actually through most of
childhood and actually through most of
childhood and actually through most of my adult life my greatest fear was
my adult life my greatest fear was
my adult life my greatest fear was needles now my fear of needles got in
needles now my fear of needles got in
needles now my fear of needles got in the way of life to the degree where I
the way of life to the degree where I
the way of life to the degree where I might try and you know avoid going on a
might try and you know avoid going on a
might try and you know avoid going on a really nice holiday just because I
really nice holiday just because I
really nice holiday just because I didn’t want to have the inoculation
didn’t want to have the inoculation
didn’t want to have the inoculation thought I’d be required to have
thought I’d be required to have
thought I’d be required to have so this was an annoying fear it was
so this was an annoying fear it was
so this was an annoying fear it was something that bugged me and so I
something that bugged me and so I
something that bugged me and so I thought I might try and work out how it
thought I might try and work out how it
thought I might try and work out how it came about to see if I kind of reverse
came about to see if I kind of reverse
came about to see if I kind of reverse engineering it and looking at where it
engineering it and looking at where it
engineering it and looking at where it came from I could maybe kind of tone it
came from I could maybe kind of tone it
came from I could maybe kind of tone it down a bit so that it didn’t get under
down a bit so that it didn’t get under
down a bit so that it didn’t get under my skin so much so I placed my fear of
my skin so much so I placed my fear of
my skin so much so I placed my fear of needles with two experiences that I have
needles with two experiences that I have
needles with two experiences that I have during my childhood now the first of
during my childhood now the first of
during my childhood now the first of these was a bad reaction to an injection
these was a bad reaction to an injection
these was a bad reaction to an injection that I had when I was four I have no
that I had when I was four I have no
that I had when I was four I have no recollection of this but my family told
recollection of this but my family told
recollection of this but my family told me it’s true the second of these
me it’s true the second of these
me it’s true the second of these experiences well I can take you back for
experiences well I can take you back for
experiences well I can take you back for this one
this one
this one 1987 sitting in a class at school now in
1987 sitting in a class at school now in
1987 sitting in a class at school now in 1987 they made all the school kids have
1987 they made all the school kids have
1987 they made all the school kids have TB jobs now that they do anymore but
TB jobs now that they do anymore but
TB jobs now that they do anymore but back then they had to do that and before
back then they had to do that and before
back then they had to do that and before the TB job they would have a test them
the TB job they would have a test them
the TB job they would have a test them to see if they don’t have an allergic
to see if they don’t have an allergic
to see if they don’t have an allergic reaction so an English class kids
reaction so an English class kids
reaction so an English class kids sitting there and one school kid is
sitting there and one school kid is
sitting there and one school kid is sitting there looking nervously at the
sitting there looking nervously at the
sitting there looking nervously at the little mark on his arm from the tester
little mark on his arm from the tester
little mark on his arm from the tester starts to feel faint blacks out falls to
starts to feel faint blacks out falls to
starts to feel faint blacks out falls to the floor hits the hardwood floor wets
the floor hits the hardwood floor wets
the floor hits the hardwood floor wets himself in front of all of his
himself in front of all of his
himself in front of all of his classmates I probably don’t have to tell
classmates I probably don’t have to tell
classmates I probably don’t have to tell you who that kid was well it might
you who that kid was well it might
you who that kid was well it might actually is a kid called Katie used to
actually is a kid called Katie used to
actually is a kid called Katie used to say annoyed looked at Keith no I didn’t
say annoyed looked at Keith no I didn’t
say annoyed looked at Keith no I didn’t actually laugh because even at 13 not
actually laugh because even at 13 not
actually laugh because even at 13 not not because at 13 I had any basic human
not because at 13 I had any basic human
not because at 13 I had any basic human empathy I mean you must have met 13 year
empathy I mean you must have met 13 year
empathy I mean you must have met 13 year old boys before the reason I didn’t
old boys before the reason I didn’t
old boys before the reason I didn’t laugh at my friend lying on the floor
laugh at my friend lying on the floor
laugh at my friend lying on the floor was because I was sitting there thinking
was because I was sitting there thinking
was because I was sitting there thinking I’m next I’m next I had a bad reaction
I’m next I’m next I had a bad reaction
I’m next I’m next I had a bad reaction to a job when I was kid and I’m gonna be
to a job when I was kid and I’m gonna be
to a job when I was kid and I’m gonna be next so I go why it’s a sheep they take
next so I go why it’s a sheep they take
next so I go why it’s a sheep they take it to the nurse and they delayed my jab
it to the nurse and they delayed my jab
it to the nurse and they delayed my jab which then meant that I had a whole week
which then meant that I had a whole week
which then meant that I had a whole week to psych myself up to it all of my
to psych myself up to it all of my
to psych myself up to it all of my friends were having their injections I
friends were having their injections I
friends were having their injections I didn’t have my
didn’t have my
didn’t have my I had a week to think about it we
I had a week to think about it we
I had a week to think about it we destroy it over build it up to something
destroy it over build it up to something
destroy it over build it up to something huge in my head and by the time I
huge in my head and by the time I
huge in my head and by the time I actually went and had that injection the
actually went and had that injection the
actually went and had that injection the only way I could get through it and this
only way I could get through it and this
only way I could get through it and this is true is by playing a mental loop of a
is true is by playing a mental loop of a
is true is by playing a mental loop of a Bruce Willis album in my head because
Bruce Willis album in my head because
Bruce Willis album in my head because that’s the closest thing to cool that
that’s the closest thing to cool that
that’s the closest thing to cool that anybody had in 1987 so that I think was
anybody had in 1987 so that I think was
anybody had in 1987 so that I think was one of the the reasons that I developed
one of the the reasons that I developed
one of the the reasons that I developed this needle phobia but when looking at
this needle phobia but when looking at
this needle phobia but when looking at taking a step back and going okay
taking a step back and going okay
taking a step back and going okay there’s the reaction when you’re a kid
there’s the reaction when you’re a kid
there’s the reaction when you’re a kid and then there’s the bad experience in
and then there’s the bad experience in
and then there’s the bad experience in the classroom maybe were looking at both
the classroom maybe were looking at both
the classroom maybe were looking at both I was able to as I say reverse-engineer
I was able to as I say reverse-engineer
I was able to as I say reverse-engineer it and stop worrying so much and that’s
it and stop worrying so much and that’s
it and stop worrying so much and that’s true and no longer respond because I was
true and no longer respond because I was
true and no longer respond because I was now I need to emphasize this isn’t some
now I need to emphasize this isn’t some
now I need to emphasize this isn’t some kind of miracle conversion I’m never I’m
kind of miracle conversion I’m never I’m
kind of miracle conversion I’m never I’m not and I will never be at the point
not and I will never be at the point
not and I will never be at the point where I could get a tattoo or give blood
where I could get a tattoo or give blood
where I could get a tattoo or give blood but I am at the point where I can maybe
but I am at the point where I can maybe
but I am at the point where I can maybe have an injection before I go on holiday
have an injection before I go on holiday
have an injection before I go on holiday or something like that so I figure
or something like that so I figure
or something like that so I figure progress made fantastic so I started to
progress made fantastic so I started to
progress made fantastic so I started to think about other things that bothered
think about other things that bothered
think about other things that bothered me that maybe I could kind of tweak as
me that maybe I could kind of tweak as
me that maybe I could kind of tweak as well but maybe if I could place where
well but maybe if I could place where
well but maybe if I could place where other fears came from I could find
other fears came from I could find
other fears came from I could find something positive from that lower by
something positive from that lower by
something positive from that lower by boys I’ve always had a slight uneasiness
boys I’ve always had a slight uneasiness
boys I’ve always had a slight uneasiness around barbers hairdressers sitting in
around barbers hairdressers sitting in
around barbers hairdressers sitting in the point you know sitting in the little
the point you know sitting in the little
the point you know sitting in the little chair looking at myself in the mirror I
chair looking at myself in the mirror I
chair looking at myself in the mirror I almost feel this kind of I think the
almost feel this kind of I think the
almost feel this kind of I think the closest word is dread now I think the
closest word is dread now I think the
closest word is dread now I think the part of this is just a natural part of
part of this is just a natural part of
part of this is just a natural part of growing onda that if you’re forced to
growing onda that if you’re forced to
growing onda that if you’re forced to sit and look at your own face for half
sit and look at your own face for half
sit and look at your own face for half an hour you sort of get this sense of
an hour you sort of get this sense of
an hour you sort of get this sense of dark grief where like all the hours
dark grief where like all the hours
dark grief where like all the hours fretted away and some horrible sense of
fretted away and some horrible sense of
fretted away and some horrible sense of mortality but it’s something beyond that
mortality but it’s something beyond that
mortality but it’s something beyond that there was something else there was
there was something else there was
there was something else there was something about hairdressers and barbers
something about hairdressers and barbers
something about hairdressers and barbers that made me very unhappy and I traced
that made me very unhappy and I traced
that made me very unhappy and I traced that one back as well and that one led
that one back as well and that one led
that one back as well and that one led to the Two Ronnies because when I was a
to the Two Ronnies because when I was a
to the Two Ronnies because when I was a kid the Two Ronnies had a sketch that
kid the Two Ronnies had a sketch that
kid the Two Ronnies had a sketch that was a parody
was a parody
was a parody the song time musical of Sweeney Todd
the song time musical of Sweeney Todd
the song time musical of Sweeney Todd you have Ronnie Barker in a dress and
you have Ronnie Barker in a dress and
you have Ronnie Barker in a dress and you had Ronnie Corbett little ginger wig
you had Ronnie Corbett little ginger wig
you had Ronnie Corbett little ginger wig and they were slitting customers throats
and they were slitting customers throats
and they were slitting customers throats and turning them into meat pies and it
and turning them into meat pies and it
and turning them into meat pies and it was a parody it was a sketch it was a
was a parody it was a sketch it was a
was a parody it was a sketch it was a joke but as a child I had no way of
joke but as a child I had no way of
joke but as a child I had no way of putting it in context and it left all
putting it in context and it left all
putting it in context and it left all this stuff in my head and so again
this stuff in my head and so again
this stuff in my head and so again because I’ve had some success with the
because I’ve had some success with the
because I’ve had some success with the needles thing as I said not to the
needles thing as I said not to the
needles thing as I said not to the degree where I could get a tattoo or
degree where I could get a tattoo or
degree where I could get a tattoo or give blood but certainly some level of
give blood but certainly some level of
give blood but certainly some level of success I thought well maybe if I can
success I thought well maybe if I can
success I thought well maybe if I can track down this – Ronnie sketch that
track down this – Ronnie sketch that
track down this – Ronnie sketch that freaked me out so much maybe I’ll be
freaked me out so much maybe I’ll be
freaked me out so much maybe I’ll be able to you know have a slightly more
able to you know have a slightly more
able to you know have a slightly more relaxed attitudes towards barbers and
relaxed attitudes towards barbers and
relaxed attitudes towards barbers and hairdressers and it was actually not
hairdressers and it was actually not
hairdressers and it was actually not very easy to track it down at the point
very easy to track it down at the point
very easy to track it down at the point I started doing this it hadn’t been
I started doing this it hadn’t been
I started doing this it hadn’t been released on DVD it has now and I think
released on DVD it has now and I think
released on DVD it has now and I think it’s kind of interesting that out of the
it’s kind of interesting that out of the
it’s kind of interesting that out of the whole nine series of the – Ron is prior
whole nine series of the – Ron is prior
whole nine series of the – Ron is prior to the point this sketch if you buy it
to the point this sketch if you buy it
to the point this sketch if you buy it on DVD the disc with this sketch
on DVD the disc with this sketch
on DVD the disc with this sketch actually has a higher certificate than
actually has a higher certificate than
actually has a higher certificate than anything else that they did for the
anything else that they did for the
anything else that they did for the previous nine years so it is an oddly
previous nine years so it is an oddly
previous nine years so it is an oddly dark sketch it’s kind of closer in
dark sketch it’s kind of closer in
dark sketch it’s kind of closer in tongue to some of the gory a Monty
tongue to some of the gory a Monty
tongue to some of the gory a Monty Python stuff rather than the kind of
Python stuff rather than the kind of
Python stuff rather than the kind of cuddlier – Ronnie’s thing but for me
cuddlier – Ronnie’s thing but for me
cuddlier – Ronnie’s thing but for me just tracking it down and actually
just tracking it down and actually
just tracking it down and actually watching it I was able to go okay I
watching it I was able to go okay I
watching it I was able to go okay I think back to how I was as a child and
think back to how I was as a child and
think back to how I was as a child and somehow take some of the sting out of
somehow take some of the sting out of
somehow take some of the sting out of the experience of just by revisiting it
the experience of just by revisiting it
the experience of just by revisiting it and thinking about it logically as an
and thinking about it logically as an
and thinking about it logically as an adult I was able to reduce my fear of
adult I was able to reduce my fear of
adult I was able to reduce my fear of barbers and my equally inconvenient fear
barbers and my equally inconvenient fear
barbers and my equally inconvenient fear of Ronnie coffee so this was – Thor – I
of Ronnie coffee so this was – Thor – I
of Ronnie coffee so this was – Thor – I thought okay – for – and now I’ve got to
thought okay – for – and now I’ve got to
thought okay – for – and now I’ve got to be honest with you this last one was
be honest with you this last one was
be honest with you this last one was kind of a biggie because it was a bit
kind of a biggie because it was a bit
kind of a biggie because it was a bit abstract I had an image that lurked in
abstract I had an image that lurked in
abstract I had an image that lurked in the back of my head for the best part of
the back of my head for the best part of
the back of my head for the best part of three decades and it had an odd power
three decades and it had an odd power
three decades and it had an odd power over me it’s the thing that scared me
over me it’s the thing that scared me
over me it’s the thing that scared me beyond anything else as a child I’ll
beyond anything else as a child I’ll
beyond anything else as a child I’ll tell you what the image
tell you what the image
tell you what the image it’s an image of a stage magician an
it’s an image of a stage magician an
it’s an image of a stage magician an image of a stage magician stood like
image of a stage magician stood like
image of a stage magician stood like this levitating a volunteer from the
this levitating a volunteer from the
this levitating a volunteer from the audience
audience
audience but there’s the audience member
but there’s the audience member
but there’s the audience member levitates their head comes off their
levitates their head comes off their
levitates their head comes off their arms come off then legs come off their
arms come off then legs come off their
arms come off then legs come off their eyes go kind of cold and dead
eyes go kind of cold and dead
eyes go kind of cold and dead all these floating island this is a
all these floating island this is a
all these floating island this is a bloodless process these floating
bloodless process these floating
bloodless process these floating balloons are kind of detached like Lego
balloons are kind of detached like Lego
balloons are kind of detached like Lego parts and the magician’s going tada
parts and the magician’s going tada
parts and the magician’s going tada someone in the audience is standing up
someone in the audience is standing up
someone in the audience is standing up and saying you’ve killed them and the
and saying you’ve killed them and the
and saying you’ve killed them and the text over the top of this image reads
text over the top of this image reads
text over the top of this image reads murder
murder
murder magic now this image disturbed me so
magic now this image disturbed me so
magic now this image disturbed me so much as a six-year-old and you know
much as a six-year-old and you know
much as a six-year-old and you know we’re soaring I stir it in an issue of
we’re soaring I stir it in an issue of
we’re soaring I stir it in an issue of spider-man pocketbook in 1980 that my
spider-man pocketbook in 1980 that my
spider-man pocketbook in 1980 that my mom had bought me because Spiderman was
mom had bought me because Spiderman was
mom had bought me because Spiderman was my favorite superhero
my favorite superhero
my favorite superhero and so I’m sat in the car outside the
and so I’m sat in the car outside the
and so I’m sat in the car outside the news agents my fingers sticky with
news agents my fingers sticky with
news agents my fingers sticky with whatever sweets it was that persuaded
whatever sweets it was that persuaded
whatever sweets it was that persuaded her to buy me as well and I open this
her to buy me as well and I open this
her to buy me as well and I open this comic book and I saw this image and it
comic book and I saw this image and it
comic book and I saw this image and it absolutely scared beings out of me threw
absolutely scared beings out of me threw
absolutely scared beings out of me threw away the comic at all the comic up threw
away the comic at all the comic up threw
away the comic at all the comic up threw away the comic I refused to buy any
away the comic I refused to buy any
away the comic I refused to buy any spider-man stuff for like six months and
spider-man stuff for like six months and
spider-man stuff for like six months and so on this spirit of going back and
so on this spirit of going back and
so on this spirit of going back and looking at these things that bothered me
looking at these things that bothered me
looking at these things that bothered me I thought I need to get this comic I
I thought I need to get this comic I
I thought I need to get this comic I need to find this comic so I can you
need to find this comic so I can you
need to find this comic so I can you know look at it and maybe that will help
know look at it and maybe that will help
know look at it and maybe that will help problem was Google was no help do
problem was Google was no help do
problem was Google was no help do spider-man murder magic nothing nothing
spider-man murder magic nothing nothing
spider-man murder magic nothing nothing not a trace of anything that’s weird
not a trace of anything that’s weird
not a trace of anything that’s weird surely you know you associate the
surely you know you associate the
surely you know you associate the Internet we’ve been able to bring up
Internet we’ve been able to bring up
Internet we’ve been able to bring up anything that you look for so I ended up
anything that you look for so I ended up
anything that you look for so I ended up trolling around on eBay and the thing
trolling around on eBay and the thing
trolling around on eBay and the thing was I couldn’t really remember what the
was I couldn’t really remember what the
was I couldn’t really remember what the cover of the comic was but I thought if
cover of the comic was but I thought if
cover of the comic was but I thought if I see it I think of the triggers on so
I see it I think of the triggers on so
I see it I think of the triggers on so for weeks maybe months i sat and looked
for weeks maybe months i sat and looked
for weeks maybe months i sat and looked through every spider-man back issue that
through every spider-man back issue that
through every spider-man back issue that came up on eBay that was with
came up on eBay that was with
came up on eBay that was with that kind of time limit and eventually I
that kind of time limit and eventually I
that kind of time limit and eventually I was I saw one of them I think that’s it
was I saw one of them I think that’s it
was I saw one of them I think that’s it and I was like 50/50 I I wasn’t you know
and I was like 50/50 I I wasn’t you know
and I was like 50/50 I I wasn’t you know wasn’t hundreds and Polk was about 50/50
wasn’t hundreds and Polk was about 50/50
wasn’t hundreds and Polk was about 50/50 I only package turn up with the perfect
I only package turn up with the perfect
I only package turn up with the perfect timing the day the practice set up I was
timing the day the practice set up I was
timing the day the practice set up I was in the throws of the worst fever I have
in the throws of the worst fever I have
in the throws of the worst fever I have ever had in my adult life I was laid up
ever had in my adult life I was laid up
ever had in my adult life I was laid up in bed I was inking here and I was
in bed I was inking here and I was
in bed I was inking here and I was confused though sweating and then I
confused though sweating and then I
confused though sweating and then I opened this package and there was the
opened this package and there was the
opened this package and there was the picture exactly as I remembered it now
picture exactly as I remembered it now
picture exactly as I remembered it now if you have never confronted a picture
if you have never confronted a picture
if you have never confronted a picture that barely scarred you that badly
that barely scarred you that badly
that barely scarred you that badly scarred you as a child if you’ve never
scarred you as a child if you’ve never
scarred you as a child if you’ve never confronted that thirty years later while
confronted that thirty years later while
confronted that thirty years later while in the grips of a terrible fever I
in the grips of a terrible fever I
in the grips of a terrible fever I actually kind of recommend it because
actually kind of recommend it because
actually kind of recommend it because what had happened was that when you when
what had happened was that when you when
what had happened was that when you when something like that happens in that kind
something like that happens in that kind
something like that happens in that kind of situation it promote it promotes a
of situation it promote it promotes a
of situation it promote it promotes a really strong emotional response and
really strong emotional response and
really strong emotional response and that promotes really strong memory
that promotes really strong memory
that promotes really strong memory creation and so now when I look at that
creation and so now when I look at that
creation and so now when I look at that picture I associate it with me looking
picture I associate it with me looking
picture I associate it with me looking at it as a feverish adult and not me
at it as a feverish adult and not me
at it as a feverish adult and not me looking at it as a terrified child and
looking at it as a terrified child and
looking at it as a terrified child and I’m able to put it in context and the
I’m able to put it in context and the
I’m able to put it in context and the weird thing about it was it wasn’t
weird thing about it was it wasn’t
weird thing about it was it wasn’t actually a panel from a 1982 spider-man
actually a panel from a 1982 spider-man
actually a panel from a 1982 spider-man comic it was actually a panel from a
comic it was actually a panel from a
comic it was actually a panel from a 1951 issue of astonishing comic that
1951 issue of astonishing comic that
1951 issue of astonishing comic that they reprinted and that they put in it
they reprinted and that they put in it
they reprinted and that they put in it as filler so by the time I saw it it was
as filler so by the time I saw it it was
as filler so by the time I saw it it was nearly 30 years old now it’s 66 years
nearly 30 years old now it’s 66 years
nearly 30 years old now it’s 66 years old that image but it was only I put a
old that image but it was only I put a
old that image but it was only I put a stake in its heart and stopped it having
stake in its heart and stopped it having
stake in its heart and stopped it having this power over me by revisiting it as
this power over me by revisiting it as
this power over me by revisiting it as an adult now this was one of the things
an adult now this was one of the things
an adult now this was one of the things that made me think that I can if I can
that made me think that I can if I can
that made me think that I can if I can start to lower these levels of fear I
start to lower these levels of fear I
start to lower these levels of fear I can maybe try and look at other points
can maybe try and look at other points
can maybe try and look at other points in my life where fear has been
in my life where fear has been
in my life where fear has been inconvenient and I can maybe go some way
inconvenient and I can maybe go some way
inconvenient and I can maybe go some way to making amends I think fear can
to making amends I think fear can
to making amends I think fear can something work like a virus and I want
something work like a virus and I want
something work like a virus and I want to give a couple of examples of that now
to give a couple of examples of that now
to give a couple of examples of that now the first of these is the my first movie
the first of these is the my first movie
the first of these is the my first movie first movie
first movie
first movie maybe thinking trash house it was a
maybe thinking trash house it was a
maybe thinking trash house it was a splatter movie I made it in a warehouse
splatter movie I made it in a warehouse
splatter movie I made it in a warehouse and shivery and when I when I saw me it
and shivery and when I when I saw me it
and shivery and when I when I saw me it was actually got really good
was actually got really good
was actually got really good distribution
distribution
distribution it was in every blockbuster in the
it was in every blockbuster in the
it was in every blockbuster in the country and then he mails from other
country and then he mails from other
country and then he mails from other film makers asking for advice I got an
film makers asking for advice I got an
film makers asking for advice I got an email from a filmmaker called Mark and
email from a filmmaker called Mark and
email from a filmmaker called Mark and he said I’m making a movie I want to
he said I’m making a movie I want to
he said I’m making a movie I want to shoot it a standard definition video I’m
shoot it a standard definition video I’m
shoot it a standard definition video I’m already making it what do you recommend
already making it what do you recommend
already making it what do you recommend and I said to him no man don’t do it
and I said to him no man don’t do it
and I said to him no man don’t do it don’t shoot it standard definition you
don’t shoot it standard definition you
don’t shoot it standard definition you won’t be able to sell your movie and
won’t be able to sell your movie and
won’t be able to sell your movie and that was my fear talking I gave you bad
that was my fear talking I gave you bad
that was my fear talking I gave you bad advice it was me wanting to stay one
advice it was me wanting to stay one
advice it was me wanting to stay one step ahead and prove how fluid up I was
step ahead and prove how fluid up I was
step ahead and prove how fluid up I was because HD was really cutting edge at
because HD was really cutting edge at
because HD was really cutting edge at this particular point and the thing is
this particular point and the thing is
this particular point and the thing is mark mark I’m sorry because that was bad
mark mark I’m sorry because that was bad
mark mark I’m sorry because that was bad bad advice because mark went on to shoot
bad advice because mark went on to shoot
bad advice because mark went on to shoot this movie on standard definition video
this movie on standard definition video
this movie on standard definition video for 45 quid and he saw cinema rights and
for 45 quid and he saw cinema rights and
for 45 quid and he saw cinema rights and it got cinema release and loads of
it got cinema release and loads of
it got cinema release and loads of territories all over the world so it’s
territories all over the world so it’s
territories all over the world so it’s an amazing movie
an amazing movie
an amazing movie it’s called Colin it’s really smart
it’s called Colin it’s really smart
it’s called Colin it’s really smart zombie movie so didn’t check it out to
zombie movie so didn’t check it out to
zombie movie so didn’t check it out to get the chance
get the chance
get the chance so there was there was Mark I also had a
so there was there was Mark I also had a
so there was there was Mark I also had a student lecture about my dear generation
student lecture about my dear generation
student lecture about my dear generation and a student of mine who followed my
and a student of mine who followed my
and a student of mine who followed my career with a great deal of interest he
career with a great deal of interest he
career with a great deal of interest he he tweeted rather a celebrity who just
he tweeted rather a celebrity who just
he tweeted rather a celebrity who just been cast in the movie of a screenplay
been cast in the movie of a screenplay
been cast in the movie of a screenplay that I’d written and he think this would
that I’d written and he think this would
that I’d written and he think this would break enthusiasm and I saw just reaching
break enthusiasm and I saw just reaching
break enthusiasm and I saw just reaching out and saying hey congratulations for
out and saying hey congratulations for
out and saying hey congratulations for being in this movie that my lecture has
being in this movie that my lecture has
being in this movie that my lecture has written and I said to him please don’t
written and I said to him please don’t
written and I said to him please don’t do that it’s not professional and I kind
do that it’s not professional and I kind
do that it’s not professional and I kind of dumped him down on it
of dumped him down on it
of dumped him down on it and I was wrong and I’m sorry because
and I was wrong and I’m sorry because
and I was wrong and I’m sorry because that student is now celebrity liaison
that student is now celebrity liaison
that student is now celebrity liaison officer for like one of the biggest
officer for like one of the biggest
officer for like one of the biggest production companies in the country and
production companies in the country and
production companies in the country and that was the thing he did the thing he
that was the thing he did the thing he
that was the thing he did the thing he was great at reaching out to celebrities
was great at reaching out to celebrities
was great at reaching out to celebrities and my fear I’ve been reflecting on me
and my fear I’ve been reflecting on me
and my fear I’ve been reflecting on me remember write them down that enthusiasm
remember write them down that enthusiasm
remember write them down that enthusiasm so then I’m sorry for that and the last
so then I’m sorry for that and the last
so then I’m sorry for that and the last one of these the last one of my
one of these the last one of my
one of these the last one of my apologies my great apology real is I had
apologies my great apology real is I had
apologies my great apology real is I had another friend called Mark so if you
another friend called Mark so if you
another friend called Mark so if you were wondering whether the live
were wondering whether the live
were wondering whether the live that I was making up names I’m not
that I was making up names I’m not
that I was making up names I’m not because I wouldn’t make up two names of
because I wouldn’t make up two names of
because I wouldn’t make up two names of Mark because that’s just mad but I had a
Mark because that’s just mad but I had a
Mark because that’s just mad but I had a freaking mark he was an amazing blogger
freaking mark he was an amazing blogger
freaking mark he was an amazing blogger and one day he blanks tickets backstage
and one day he blanks tickets backstage
and one day he blanks tickets backstage to our favorite band this was a band we
to our favorite band this was a band we
to our favorite band this was a band we loved we’d seen them play the Pyramid
loved we’d seen them play the Pyramid
loved we’d seen them play the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury and he said I’m
stage at Glastonbury and he said I’m
stage at Glastonbury and he said I’m going to go over and talk to them in a
going to go over and talk to them in a
going to go over and talk to them in a wave of beer and enthusiasm and I said
wave of beer and enthusiasm and I said
wave of beer and enthusiasm and I said Who no mark done we’ve had an amazing
Who no mark done we’ve had an amazing
Who no mark done we’ve had an amazing day man and if you go and talk to them
day man and if you go and talk to them
day man and if you go and talk to them now you know don’t meet your heroes it
now you know don’t meet your heroes it
now you know don’t meet your heroes it could mess up all our memories and he
could mess up all our memories and he
could mess up all our memories and he went and he pushed me away and he went
went and he pushed me away and he went
went and he pushed me away and he went and spoke to the man away and I’m really
and spoke to the man away and I’m really
and spoke to the man away and I’m really glad to do because he ended up managing
glad to do because he ended up managing
glad to do because he ended up managing them and so in future he was the one
them and so in future he was the one
them and so in future he was the one organising the sold-out gigs and dealing
organising the sold-out gigs and dealing
organising the sold-out gigs and dealing with over-enthusiastic plans like the
with over-enthusiastic plans like the
with over-enthusiastic plans like the one that he had been so mark I’m really
one that he had been so mark I’m really
one that he had been so mark I’m really really sorry man I should never tried to
really sorry man I should never tried to
really sorry man I should never tried to stop the meeting them but I did I think
stop the meeting them but I did I think
stop the meeting them but I did I think sometimes we’re not aware of how our
sometimes we’re not aware of how our
sometimes we’re not aware of how our fears can transmit to other people
fears can transmit to other people
fears can transmit to other people because sometimes the other people are
because sometimes the other people are
because sometimes the other people are enthusiastic and don’t even really think
enthusiastic and don’t even really think
enthusiastic and don’t even really think about what’s possible and what’s scary
about what’s possible and what’s scary
about what’s possible and what’s scary my daughter actually said to me once
my daughter actually said to me once
my daughter actually said to me once daddy how do you split the atom don’t
daddy how do you split the atom don’t
daddy how do you split the atom don’t worry I’m not going to do it in the
worry I’m not going to do it in the
worry I’m not going to do it in the kitchen
so so where does this leave us this
so so where does this leave us this little journey well I think that my
little journey well I think that my
little journey well I think that my take-home from it would be the fear can
take-home from it would be the fear can
take-home from it would be the fear can suck but fear can be useful at the end
suck but fear can be useful at the end
suck but fear can be useful at the end of the day I would turn a lot of my
of the day I would turn a lot of my
of the day I would turn a lot of my fears into screenplays and then terminus
fears into screenplays and then terminus
fears into screenplays and then terminus stream plays into a cold hard cash
stream plays into a cold hard cash
stream plays into a cold hard cash so winner winner chicken dinner but for
so winner winner chicken dinner but for
so winner winner chicken dinner but for this fears can be terrible and they can
this fears can be terrible and they can
this fears can be terrible and they can be useful but fear is nothing to be
be useful but fear is nothing to be
be useful but fear is nothing to be scared of much like ridicule for anyone
scared of much like ridicule for anyone
scared of much like ridicule for anyone whose music preferences so yeah
surprised myself it’s flown by but you
surprised myself it’s flown by but you might be asking yourself what the lie
might be asking yourself what the lie
might be asking yourself what the lie was I promised you a lie in there
was I promised you a lie in there
was I promised you a lie in there somewhere
somewhere
somewhere now the storyteller in me really wants
now the storyteller in me really wants
now the storyteller in me really wants the lie to be that I said I’d never get
the lie to be that I said I’d never get
the lie to be that I said I’d never get over my needle phobia enough to get a
over my needle phobia enough to get a
over my needle phobia enough to get a tattoo or to give blood what really
tattoo or to give blood what really
tattoo or to give blood what really really love the lie to be would be I
really love the lie to be would be I
really love the lie to be would be I could lift up my t-shirt and have a huge
could lift up my t-shirt and have a huge
could lift up my t-shirt and have a huge tattoo all over my back of all the
tattoo all over my back of all the
tattoo all over my back of all the things that I’ve spoken about like the
things that I’ve spoken about like the
things that I’ve spoken about like the needles and the stage magician and all
needles and the stage magician and all
needles and the stage magician and all that sort of thing because that would be
that sort of thing because that would be
that sort of thing because that would be that would be a good ending wouldn’t it
that would be a good ending wouldn’t it
that would be a good ending wouldn’t it if I just lifted this up and that would
if I just lifted this up and that would
if I just lifted this up and that would be a really good ending yeah but I don’t
be a really good ending yeah but I don’t
be a really good ending yeah but I don’t have a tattoo I don’t have a tattoo I do
have a tattoo I don’t have a tattoo I do
have a tattoo I don’t have a tattoo I do have a lollipop because I gave blood
[Applause]
[Applause] they don’t actually give you a lollipop
they don’t actually give you a lollipop
they don’t actually give you a lollipop anymore so I had to go and buy my own my
anymore so I had to go and buy my own my
anymore so I had to go and buy my own my name is Pat Higgins my conscience is
name is Pat Higgins my conscience is
name is Pat Higgins my conscience is clear
”
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