Changing the Rules of Engagement Between Adults and Children | Kate Cross | TEDxCorsham

[Music]

[Music] when I was a child I railed against

when I was a child I railed against

when I was a child I railed against rules rules were nothing more than an

rules rules were nothing more than an

rules rules were nothing more than an outlet for power-hungry adults

outlet for power-hungry adults

outlet for power-hungry adults risk-averse parents or worst of all lazy

risk-averse parents or worst of all lazy

risk-averse parents or worst of all lazy thinkers rules belonged in the adult

thinkers rules belonged in the adult

thinkers rules belonged in the adult world and were designed specifically for

world and were designed specifically for

world and were designed specifically for children because children could not be

children because children could not be

children because children could not be trusted to keep themselves entertained

trusted to keep themselves entertained

trusted to keep themselves entertained or to be kind or to keep himself safe or

or to be kind or to keep himself safe or

or to be kind or to keep himself safe or to avoid adult embarrassment rules are a

to avoid adult embarrassment rules are a

to avoid adult embarrassment rules are a bit like cling film they protect the

bit like cling film they protect the

bit like cling film they protect the real authentic you from the outside

real authentic you from the outside

real authentic you from the outside world and the outside world from the

world and the outside world from the

world and the outside world from the real authentic you but then it’s all bad

real authentic you but then it’s all bad

real authentic you but then it’s all bad here are some rules I actually quite

here are some rules I actually quite

here are some rules I actually quite like I actually like paying my taxes I

like I actually like paying my taxes I

like I actually like paying my taxes I like not killing people I like not

like not killing people I like not

like not killing people I like not breaking into people’s property I like

breaking into people’s property I like

breaking into people’s property I like going to bed at night wearing clothes in

going to bed at night wearing clothes in

going to bed at night wearing clothes in public I like cleaning my teeth I like

public I like cleaning my teeth I like

public I like cleaning my teeth I like not speeding I like eating healthfully

not speeding I like eating healthfully

not speeding I like eating healthfully and I like being kind but here are some

and I like being kind but here are some

and I like being kind but here are some of the rules I don’t like having to lie

of the rules I don’t like having to lie

of the rules I don’t like having to lie to someone when they ask me how I am

to someone when they ask me how I am

to someone when they ask me how I am having to tell someone who’s done a

having to tell someone who’s done a

having to tell someone who’s done a terrible job they’ve done a good job

terrible job they’ve done a good job

terrible job they’ve done a good job because that’s being kind I really don’t

because that’s being kind I really don’t

because that’s being kind I really don’t like the rule of school uniform but

like the rule of school uniform but

like the rule of school uniform but that’s an argument for a whole other

that’s an argument for a whole other

that’s an argument for a whole other evening I don’t have the rule when

evening I don’t have the rule when

evening I don’t have the rule when you’re in a car that you have to flick

you’re in a car that you have to flick

you’re in a car that you have to flick your hand up at the person who’s coming

your hand up at the person who’s coming

your hand up at the person who’s coming up because they haven’t just knocked

up because they haven’t just knocked

up because they haven’t just knocked your wing mirror off I don’t like the

your wing mirror off I don’t like the

your wing mirror off I don’t like the rule that makes adults think they’re

rule that makes adults think they’re

rule that makes adults think they’re more superior and clever than children I

more superior and clever than children I

more superior and clever than children I don’t like the rule that says when you

don’t like the rule that says when you

don’t like the rule that says when you grow up you’re going to marry somebody

grow up you’re going to marry somebody

grow up you’re going to marry somebody from the opposite sex at school I didn’t

from the opposite sex at school I didn’t

from the opposite sex at school I didn’t realize they were hoops to jump through

realize they were hoops to jump through

realize they were hoops to jump through to achieve academic success and because

to achieve academic success and because

to achieve academic success and because the social rules were too preposterous

the social rules were too preposterous

the social rules were too preposterous to adhere to I entered my adult life

to adhere to I entered my adult life

to adhere to I entered my adult life feeling like a failure and a moral

feeling like a failure and a moral

feeling like a failure and a moral rebellious one at that

rebellious one at that

rebellious one at that it took me some time to shake off this

it took me some time to shake off this

it took me some time to shake off this image but I think I’ve now learned how

image but I think I’ve now learned how

image but I think I’ve now learned how to turn this impulse these impulses to

to turn this impulse these impulses to

to turn this impulse these impulses to my advantage so when I was in my early

my advantage so when I was in my early

my advantage so when I was in my early 30s working in a local theatre the

30s working in a local theatre the

30s working in a local theatre the Theatre Royal I spotted a rule that

Theatre Royal I spotted a rule that

Theatre Royal I spotted a rule that needed changing I realized how come

needed changing I realized how come

needed changing I realized how come children don’t get to go to theatre on a

children don’t get to go to theatre on a

children don’t get to go to theatre on a regular basis the same way that adults

regular basis the same way that adults

regular basis the same way that adults do so I mentioned this and luckily there

do so I mentioned this and luckily there

do so I mentioned this and luckily there was consent amongst all those around me

was consent amongst all those around me

was consent amongst all those around me and we built a theater for children and

and we built a theater for children and

and we built a theater for children and young people called the egg the week

young people called the egg the week

young people called the egg the week before we open the theatre there were

before we open the theatre there were

before we open the theatre there were very few plays for children in bath and

very few plays for children in bath and

very few plays for children in bath and when we opened there were at least two

when we opened there were at least two

when we opened there were at least two performances every week of the year and

performances every week of the year and

performances every week of the year and there they all were these audiences they

there they all were these audiences they

there they all were these audiences they just showed up and they’re still there

just showed up and they’re still there

just showed up and they’re still there so sometimes I think it only takes one

so sometimes I think it only takes one

so sometimes I think it only takes one person or one organization to do what

person or one organization to do what

person or one organization to do what hundreds of people had not even known

hundreds of people had not even known

hundreds of people had not even known they were waiting for later I spotted

they were waiting for later I spotted

they were waiting for later I spotted another rule that could be changed when

another rule that could be changed when

another rule that could be changed when children go to school why do they always

children go to school why do they always

children go to school why do they always go to the same building there’s no

go to the same building there’s no

go to the same building there’s no reason is there so we changed that and

reason is there so we changed that and

reason is there so we changed that and we created a residency project called

we created a residency project called

we created a residency project called school without walls in which primary

school without walls in which primary

school without walls in which primary school children have been coming to

school children have been coming to

school children have been coming to school in our theatre for the last six

school in our theatre for the last six

school in our theatre for the last six years the first school to take part took

years the first school to take part took

years the first school to take part took a massive risk but those schools that

a massive risk but those schools that

a massive risk but those schools that followed was shored up by the knowledge

followed was shored up by the knowledge

followed was shored up by the knowledge that the trailblazing school had not

that the trailblazing school had not

that the trailblazing school had not fallen on its sword now the process

fallen on its sword now the process

fallen on its sword now the process seems really quite normal

seems really quite normal

seems really quite normal surely a brilliant new business idea is

surely a brilliant new business idea is

surely a brilliant new business idea is a changing of the rules a disrupting of

a changing of the rules a disrupting of

a changing of the rules a disrupting of the norm

the norm

the norm Dyson discovered that you didn’t have to

Dyson discovered that you didn’t have to

Dyson discovered that you didn’t have to put paper inside a vacuum lucozade

put paper inside a vacuum lucozade

put paper inside a vacuum lucozade decided they could start selling small

decided they could start selling small

decided they could start selling small bottles of their stimulant to children

bottles of their stimulant to children

bottles of their stimulant to children instead of just the big bottles to sick

instead of just the big bottles to sick

instead of just the big bottles to sick people changing a rule isn’t really an

people changing a rule isn’t really an

people changing a rule isn’t really an act of will a will a willful singular

act of will a will a willful singular

act of will a will a willful singular act of rebellion against the existence

act of rebellion against the existence

act of rebellion against the existence of the rule itself although my mother

of the rule itself although my mother

of the rule itself although my mother would say it was an icky it is not it

would say it was an icky it is not it

would say it was an icky it is not it could be an act of logic and reason this

could be an act of logic and reason this

could be an act of logic and reason this rule makes people feel like a failure

rule makes people feel like a failure

rule makes people feel like a failure and that’s not very productive so let’s

and that’s not very productive so let’s

and that’s not very productive so let’s change it sometimes we don’t even know

change it sometimes we don’t even know

change it sometimes we don’t even know we’re changing the rules when I wrote

we’re changing the rules when I wrote

we’re changing the rules when I wrote essays at school my default position was

essays at school my default position was

essays at school my default position was to do it differently to come up with a

to do it differently to come up with a

to do it differently to come up with a unique proposition and rock the boat a

unique proposition and rock the boat a

unique proposition and rock the boat a bit with a new thought pairing

bit with a new thought pairing

bit with a new thought pairing this creative approach wasn’t very

this creative approach wasn’t very

this creative approach wasn’t very academic and thus I was left feeling

academic and thus I was left feeling

academic and thus I was left feeling like a failure you would think would you

like a failure you would think would you

like a failure you would think would you not that a nice friendly place like a

not that a nice friendly place like a

not that a nice friendly place like a theater a place where art happens would

theater a place where art happens would

theater a place where art happens would be immune from making children feel like

be immune from making children feel like

be immune from making children feel like failures yet of course like everywhere

failures yet of course like everywhere

failures yet of course like everywhere else a child will only have an

else a child will only have an

else a child will only have an experience of live theatre through the

experience of live theatre through the

experience of live theatre through the prism of expectation of the adult that

prism of expectation of the adult that

prism of expectation of the adult that took them there those adult gatekeepers

took them there those adult gatekeepers

took them there those adult gatekeepers are awash with well-intentioned rules to

are awash with well-intentioned rules to

are awash with well-intentioned rules to educate their child to help them with

educate their child to help them with

educate their child to help them with their exams to broaden their horizons

their exams to broaden their horizons

their exams to broaden their horizons and make sure they get the message for

and make sure they get the message for

and make sure they get the message for moral guidance or simply to be

moral guidance or simply to be

moral guidance or simply to be entertained and have a jolly good time

entertained and have a jolly good time

entertained and have a jolly good time and not have one’s parents worldview

and not have one’s parents worldview

and not have one’s parents worldview challenged not one little bit they’re

challenged not one little bit they’re

challenged not one little bit they’re merely adhering to a set of invisible

merely adhering to a set of invisible

merely adhering to a set of invisible rules but in so doing they place a layer

rules but in so doing they place a layer

rules but in so doing they place a layer of burden on the shoulders of those

of burden on the shoulders of those

of burden on the shoulders of those young people who are going to watch the

young people who are going to watch the

young people who are going to watch the play the pressure to have understood the

play the pressure to have understood the

play the pressure to have understood the play and to be able to articulate that

play and to be able to articulate that

play and to be able to articulate that the obligation to have an opinion about

the obligation to have an opinion about

the obligation to have an opinion about whether the play was good or not the

whether the play was good or not the

whether the play was good or not the expectation that they will leave the

expectation that they will leave the

expectation that they will leave the theatre happier or better human beings

theatre happier or better human beings

theatre happier or better human beings and they were before they went in and if

and they were before they went in and if

and they were before they went in and if they don’t feel those things might they

they don’t feel those things might they

they don’t feel those things might they not now come away feeling as though they

not now come away feeling as though they

not now come away feeling as though they had failed and that had been a piece of

had failed and that had been a piece of

had failed and that had been a piece of art that had made them feel that way I

art that had made them feel that way I

art that had made them feel that way I work in the theatre does this mean I

work in the theatre does this mean I

work in the theatre does this mean I want to watch theatre and read about

want to watch theatre and read about

want to watch theatre and read about theatre think about Yetta talk about

theatre think about Yetta talk about

theatre think about Yetta talk about theatre do nothing but theater 24/7 no

theatre do nothing but theater 24/7 no

theatre do nothing but theater 24/7 no it really does not there are other bits

it really does not there are other bits

it really does not there are other bits of me really side projects there are

of me really side projects there are

of me really side projects there are 8760 hours in a year of which children

8760 hours in a year of which children

8760 hours in a year of which children spend 1372 going to school that’s just

spend 1372 going to school that’s just

spend 1372 going to school that’s just 16 percent of their time when they’re

16 percent of their time when they’re

16 percent of their time when they’re being schooled so when we take them to

being schooled so when we take them to

being schooled so when we take them to see a play a work of art why should we

see a play a work of art why should we

see a play a work of art why should we presume that we should continue to teach

presume that we should continue to teach

presume that we should continue to teach them stuff so my job there is to create

them stuff so my job there is to create

them stuff so my job there is to create a mini revolution and that revolution is

a mini revolution and that revolution is

a mini revolution and that revolution is this one to treat the child like a human

this one to treat the child like a human

this one to treat the child like a human being that has a mind and a heart of its

being that has a mind and a heart of its

being that has a mind and a heart of its own – for the duration of a play to

own – for the duration of a play to

own – for the duration of a play to forget that they are young which means

forget that they are young which means

forget that they are young which means there’ll be no learning outcome

there’ll be no learning outcome

there’ll be no learning outcome three that the child would not be told

three that the child would not be told

three that the child would not be told how to sit or how to behave for that we

how to sit or how to behave for that we

how to sit or how to behave for that we will trust them to have the strength to

will trust them to have the strength to

will trust them to have the strength to face up to alternative realities

face up to alternative realities

face up to alternative realities presented in front of them difficult

presented in front of them difficult

presented in front of them difficult language they may not understand social

language they may not understand social

language they may not understand social constructs or natural phenomenon they

constructs or natural phenomenon they

constructs or natural phenomenon they haven’t yet encountered boredom and five

haven’t yet encountered boredom and five

haven’t yet encountered boredom and five to support them through that process

to support them through that process

to support them through that process should they find it disturbing or

should they find it disturbing or

should they find it disturbing or confusing so this might mean one not

confusing so this might mean one not

confusing so this might mean one not telling the child what’s happening – not

telling the child what’s happening – not

telling the child what’s happening – not pointing at something in a teacher

pointing at something in a teacher

pointing at something in a teacher leeway three not worrying if the child

leeway three not worrying if the child

leeway three not worrying if the child is more interested in the ceiling than

is more interested in the ceiling than

is more interested in the ceiling than the play for not endlessly feeding the

the play for not endlessly feeding the

the play for not endlessly feeding the child so dad have got that off my chest

child so dad have got that off my chest

child so dad have got that off my chest five not whisking them out of the room

five not whisking them out of the room

five not whisking them out of the room if they start crying and never bring in

if they start crying and never bring in

if they start crying and never bring in the back in again sometimes I witness

the back in again sometimes I witness

the back in again sometimes I witness similar forms of what I call negative

similar forms of what I call negative

similar forms of what I call negative adult intervention administered by the

adult intervention administered by the

adult intervention administered by the actual play itself perhaps with

actual play itself perhaps with

actual play itself perhaps with overacting or silly voices to maintain

overacting or silly voices to maintain

overacting or silly voices to maintain attention at all times or relentless

attention at all times or relentless

attention at all times or relentless audience participation so they don’t get

audience participation so they don’t get

audience participation so they don’t get bored or stories that conclude with an

bored or stories that conclude with an

bored or stories that conclude with an overtly moral or educational message or

overtly moral or educational message or

overtly moral or educational message or just imitations of familiar stories and

just imitations of familiar stories and

just imitations of familiar stories and situations so is not to challenge

situations so is not to challenge

situations so is not to challenge expectation it seems to me this is an

expectation it seems to me this is an

expectation it seems to me this is an art it’s a blind compliance its fear its

art it’s a blind compliance its fear its

art it’s a blind compliance its fear its control and a notion that rather than

control and a notion that rather than

control and a notion that rather than being regular human beings children are

being regular human beings children are

being regular human beings children are some strange protected alien species the

some strange protected alien species the

some strange protected alien species the people who do this they they think

people who do this they they think

people who do this they they think they’re doing absolutely the right thing

they’re doing absolutely the right thing

they’re doing absolutely the right thing but it’s not art art is the expression

but it’s not art art is the expression

but it’s not art art is the expression or application of human creative skill

or application of human creative skill

or application of human creative skill and imagination producing works to be

and imagination producing works to be

and imagination producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty

appreciated primarily for their beauty

appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power that’s from the

or emotional power that’s from the

or emotional power that’s from the Oxford Dictionary art is something that

Oxford Dictionary art is something that

Oxford Dictionary art is something that reveals the essential or hidden truth

reveals the essential or hidden truth

reveals the essential or hidden truth not a copy of what we think the truth

not a copy of what we think the truth

not a copy of what we think the truth should be theatre can ask the question

should be theatre can ask the question

should be theatre can ask the question but if ever tries to answer the question

but if ever tries to answer the question

but if ever tries to answer the question we close the conversation down with the

we close the conversation down with the

we close the conversation down with the audience art is very very difficult to

audience art is very very difficult to

audience art is very very difficult to make if you were bound by these rules

make if you were bound by these rules

make if you were bound by these rules that have been

that have been

that have been handed down on tablets of stone like no

handed down on tablets of stone like no

handed down on tablets of stone like no one should get upset no one should be

one should get upset no one should be

one should get upset no one should be scared or no one should cry or be

scared or no one should cry or be

scared or no one should cry or be shocked or offended or have their views

shocked or offended or have their views

shocked or offended or have their views challenged or their sense of world order

challenged or their sense of world order

challenged or their sense of world order turned upside down since the artist

turned upside down since the artist

turned upside down since the artist cannot hope to know the disposition or

cannot hope to know the disposition or

cannot hope to know the disposition or circumstances of all the myriad people

circumstances of all the myriad people

circumstances of all the myriad people who come into an auditorium they are

who come into an auditorium they are

who come into an auditorium they are left only with their own idea of the

left only with their own idea of the

left only with their own idea of the world at their disposal their own

world at their disposal their own

world at their disposal their own creativity and impulses and fascinations

creativity and impulses and fascinations

creativity and impulses and fascinations which is why when people ask me are

which is why when people ask me are

which is why when people ask me are there any topics you cannot put in front

there any topics you cannot put in front

there any topics you cannot put in front of children my answer would be no none

of children my answer would be no none

of children my answer would be no none thank you

thank you

thank you [Applause]