I love obituaries I do I love them I love how people summarize their lives
love how people summarize their lives
love how people summarize their lives I’m amazed that people can put those
I’m amazed that people can put those
I’m amazed that people can put those words into one little column and every
words into one little column and every
words into one little column and every character costs money so you have to be
character costs money so you have to be
character costs money so you have to be very intentional about what words are
very intentional about what words are
very intentional about what words are going in because it’s gonna cost money
going in because it’s gonna cost money
going in because it’s gonna cost money if your name goes into someone’s
if your name goes into someone’s
if your name goes into someone’s obituary that’s like five dollars you’re
obituary that’s like five dollars you’re
obituary that’s like five dollars you’re away right I have friends who are
away right I have friends who are
away right I have friends who are writers and I admire them and they’re in
writers and I admire them and they’re in
writers and I admire them and they’re in these writing circles and I always tell
these writing circles and I always tell
these writing circles and I always tell them I want my own writing circle but I
them I want my own writing circle but I
them I want my own writing circle but I want it to be just obituaries I want to
want it to be just obituaries I want to
want it to be just obituaries I want to write my own obituary and the only
write my own obituary and the only
write my own obituary and the only people I’m inviting into my circle are
people I’m inviting into my circle are
people I’m inviting into my circle are good friends who know me well and her
good friends who know me well and her
good friends who know me well and her willing to be honest because my greatest
willing to be honest because my greatest
willing to be honest because my greatest fear is that my family while grieving
fear is that my family while grieving
fear is that my family while grieving won’t be able to write the right things
won’t be able to write the right things
won’t be able to write the right things and they’re going to say and you may
and they’re going to say and you may
and they’re going to say and you may need to know me to appreciate how wrong
need to know me to appreciate how wrong
need to know me to appreciate how wrong this is
this is
this is she was a tremendous homemaker she
she was a tremendous homemaker she
she was a tremendous homemaker she wasn’t she was a wonderful mother she
wasn’t she was a wonderful mother she
wasn’t she was a wonderful mother she you know always decorated the house for
you know always decorated the house for
you know always decorated the house for Halloween or etc and and anyone who
Halloween or etc and and anyone who
Halloween or etc and and anyone who knows me knows it’s just flat wrong
knows me knows it’s just flat wrong
knows me knows it’s just flat wrong right it would say she hated bake sales
right it would say she hated bake sales
right it would say she hated bake sales she decorated once for the holidays in
she decorated once for the holidays in
she decorated once for the holidays in 2011 and she will never get the mother
2011 and she will never get the mother
2011 and she will never get the mother of the Year award but she would give
of the Year award but she would give
of the Year award but she would give everything every last minute every last
everything every last minute every last
everything every last minute every last dime to save someone she loves
dime to save someone she loves
dime to save someone she loves and my father was the exact same way his
and my father was the exact same way his
and my father was the exact same way his death two years ago was a complete
death two years ago was a complete
death two years ago was a complete surprise and it shouldn’t have been he
surprise and it shouldn’t have been he
surprise and it shouldn’t have been he wasn’t hit by truck and fall from a
wasn’t hit by truck and fall from a
wasn’t hit by truck and fall from a plane it wasn’t lost to the Amazon he
plane it wasn’t lost to the Amazon he
plane it wasn’t lost to the Amazon he had cancer he had cancer for years and
had cancer he had cancer for years and
had cancer he had cancer for years and he didn’t beat it and yet my family my
he didn’t beat it and yet my family my
he didn’t beat it and yet my family my tight-knit family was completely
tight-knit family was completely
tight-knit family was completely surprised I think we were surprised for
surprised I think we were surprised for
surprised I think we were surprised for several reasons we were surprised that
several reasons we were surprised that
several reasons we were surprised that he
he
he wasn’t immortal but he was the first to
wasn’t immortal but he was the first to
wasn’t immortal but he was the first to go he would walk 18 holes of golf every
go he would walk 18 holes of golf every
go he would walk 18 holes of golf every other day and he’d carry his own clubs
other day and he’d carry his own clubs
other day and he’d carry his own clubs Hey
Hey
Hey all brand every morning for breakfast I
all brand every morning for breakfast I
all brand every morning for breakfast I just want you to stop for a bit there
just want you to stop for a bit there
just want you to stop for a bit there because in my mind if you can eat all
because in my mind if you can eat all
because in my mind if you can eat all bran we all know it you deserve to live
bran we all know it you deserve to live
bran we all know it you deserve to live forever
we were we were surprised by the fact
we were we were surprised by the fact that he went from our caregiver to our
that he went from our caregiver to our
that he went from our caregiver to our care receiver and my big six and a half
care receiver and my big six and a half
care receiver and my big six and a half foot tall strong father was able to let
foot tall strong father was able to let
foot tall strong father was able to let the rest of us and even the rest of us
the rest of us and even the rest of us
the rest of us and even the rest of us to dote on him and we were surprised
to dote on him and we were surprised
to dote on him and we were surprised that our smart you know PhD law student
that our smart you know PhD law student
that our smart you know PhD law student Wall Street brother entrepreneurial
Wall Street brother entrepreneurial
Wall Street brother entrepreneurial father were completely unprepared the
father were completely unprepared the
father were completely unprepared the truth of the matter is we shouldn’t have
truth of the matter is we shouldn’t have
truth of the matter is we shouldn’t have been surprised right he had cancer 100
been surprised right he had cancer 100
been surprised right he had cancer 100 percent of us are born to people older
percent of us are born to people older
percent of us are born to people older than us right and I kept trying to find
than us right and I kept trying to find
than us right and I kept trying to find where maybe that wasn’t true so that
where maybe that wasn’t true so that
where maybe that wasn’t true so that nobody would raise their hands and say
nobody would raise their hands and say
nobody would raise their hands and say hey Stephanie actually I know someone
hey Stephanie actually I know someone
hey Stephanie actually I know someone who was born to a baby there they were
who was born to a baby there they were
who was born to a baby there they were saying babies it was true 100 percent of
saying babies it was true 100 percent of
saying babies it was true 100 percent of us are born to someone older – older
us are born to someone older – older
us are born to someone older – older than us and yet I felt like the world
than us and yet I felt like the world
than us and yet I felt like the world didn’t prepare me for what was happening
didn’t prepare me for what was happening
didn’t prepare me for what was happening to our family I kept looking and there
to our family I kept looking and there
to our family I kept looking and there was no guidebook no road map 20 years
was no guidebook no road map 20 years
was no guidebook no road map 20 years earlier I was pregnant with my oldest
earlier I was pregnant with my oldest
earlier I was pregnant with my oldest daughter Isabella and I read this book
daughter Isabella and I read this book
daughter Isabella and I read this book what to Expect When You’re Expecting
what to Expect When You’re Expecting
what to Expect When You’re Expecting great it’s been around for 25 years 656
great it’s been around for 25 years 656
great it’s been around for 25 years 656 pages of everything you need to know
pages of everything you need to know
pages of everything you need to know about nurturing the fetus birthing the
about nurturing the fetus birthing the
about nurturing the fetus birthing the baby feeding the baby sending it to
baby feeding the baby sending it to
baby feeding the baby sending it to school everything that you need to know
school everything that you need to know
school everything that you need to know completely comprehensive so much
completely comprehensive so much
completely comprehensive so much information that I be
information that I be
information that I be to become paranoid of all the things
to become paranoid of all the things
to become paranoid of all the things that could go wrong that had no idea
that could go wrong that had no idea
that could go wrong that had no idea could even happen right got rid of the
could even happen right got rid of the
could even happen right got rid of the book so my surprise when I was on the
book so my surprise when I was on the
book so my surprise when I was on the other end of my life taking care of
other end of my life taking care of
other end of my life taking care of someone that I had known far more than a
someone that I had known far more than a
someone that I had known far more than a nine-month gestational period someone
nine-month gestational period someone
nine-month gestational period someone who I loved and adored for decades and I
who I loved and adored for decades and I
who I loved and adored for decades and I had know what to expect
had know what to expect
had know what to expect I had no book where’s my what to expect
I had no book where’s my what to expect
I had no book where’s my what to expect and I would retitle that book what to
and I would retitle that book what to
and I would retitle that book what to expect that you are not expecting that
expect that you are not expecting that
expect that you are not expecting that you should totally expect right now how
you should totally expect right now how
you should totally expect right now how are we hidden by this and after it
are we hidden by this and after it
are we hidden by this and after it happened I started to go crazy and
happened I started to go crazy and
happened I started to go crazy and anybody who knows me knows all I did was
anybody who knows me knows all I did was
anybody who knows me knows all I did was grab people saying hey what’s up with
grab people saying hey what’s up with
grab people saying hey what’s up with your parents are they okay what’s your
your parents are they okay what’s your
your parents are they okay what’s your plan for your parents are you do you
plan for your parents are you do you
plan for your parents are you do you have a plan do you have a budget do you
have a plan do you have a budget do you
have a plan do you have a budget do you fly Southwest that’s important Southwest
fly Southwest that’s important Southwest
fly Southwest that’s important Southwest doesn’t charge change fees right and you
doesn’t charge change fees right and you
doesn’t charge change fees right and you don’t know when you need to be someplace
don’t know when you need to be someplace
don’t know when you need to be someplace you need to fly Southwest you need to
you need to fly Southwest you need to
you need to fly Southwest you need to have this budget first chapter my book
have this budget first chapter my book
have this budget first chapter my book would be you need to expect to be a
would be you need to expect to be a
would be you need to expect to be a medical expert fast my first major
medical expert fast my first major
medical expert fast my first major medical decision and I did not go to med
medical decision and I did not go to med
medical decision and I did not go to med school wasn’t a small grey hospital room
school wasn’t a small grey hospital room
school wasn’t a small grey hospital room in Savannah Georgia my parents were at a
in Savannah Georgia my parents were at a
in Savannah Georgia my parents were at a dinner party and Saturday night we had
dinner party and Saturday night we had
dinner party and Saturday night we had friends over for dinner that night as
friends over for dinner that night as
friends over for dinner that night as well and I remember it because I look at
well and I remember it because I look at
well and I remember it because I look at my phone I have a missed call from my
my phone I have a missed call from my
my phone I have a missed call from my mom and a message and it’s Saturday
mom and a message and it’s Saturday
mom and a message and it’s Saturday night and I don’t know about you guys my
night and I don’t know about you guys my
night and I don’t know about you guys my parents don’t call on Saturday nights
parents don’t call on Saturday nights
parents don’t call on Saturday nights they don’t want to impose they don’t
they don’t want to impose they don’t
they don’t want to impose they don’t want to interrupt us and I didn’t even
want to interrupt us and I didn’t even
want to interrupt us and I didn’t even have to listen to that message to know I
have to listen to that message to know I
have to listen to that message to know I need to jump on a plane and get to
need to jump on a plane and get to
need to jump on a plane and get to Savannah so I grabbed the first flight
Savannah so I grabbed the first flight
Savannah so I grabbed the first flight from Dallas to Savannah we all did and
from Dallas to Savannah we all did and
from Dallas to Savannah we all did and I’m in this little hospital room with my
I’m in this little hospital room with my
I’m in this little hospital room with my uncle who’s my dad’s brother and very
uncle who’s my dad’s brother and very
uncle who’s my dad’s brother and very best friend
best friend
best friend my Gucci clad Wall Street brother which
my Gucci clad Wall Street brother which
my Gucci clad Wall Street brother which you can only say when you’re from Iowa
you can only say when you’re from Iowa
you can only say when you’re from Iowa because you were just not used to that
because you were just not used to that
because you were just not used to that my mother who’s reading piles of Good
my mother who’s reading piles of Good
my mother who’s reading piles of Good Housekeeping magazines pretending that
Housekeeping magazines pretending that
Housekeeping magazines pretending that this isn’t really happening and in the
this isn’t really happening and in the
this isn’t really happening and in the middle of the room is my father on the
middle of the room is my father on the
middle of the room is my father on the bed right he’s the star of the show and
bed right he’s the star of the show and
bed right he’s the star of the show and I remember looking at the room and
I remember looking at the room and
I remember looking at the room and looking at my big strong on goal I’m a
looking at my big strong on goal I’m a
looking at my big strong on goal I’m a very smart brother my mom and saying I
very smart brother my mom and saying I
very smart brother my mom and saying I don’t know who loves him most we all
don’t know who loves him most we all
don’t know who loves him most we all loved him so much and if love could cure
loved him so much and if love could cure
loved him so much and if love could cure cancer my father would have jumped down
cancer my father would have jumped down
cancer my father would have jumped down that bed and run out cancer-free but
that bed and run out cancer-free but
that bed and run out cancer-free but instead his oncologist came in who I
instead his oncologist came in who I
instead his oncologist came in who I would say also loved my father and this
would say also loved my father and this
would say also loved my father and this young man is sitting at the bottom of my
young man is sitting at the bottom of my
young man is sitting at the bottom of my dad’s bed and he says Bob I don’t think
dad’s bed and he says Bob I don’t think
dad’s bed and he says Bob I don’t think there’s anything else we can do I don’t
there’s anything else we can do I don’t
there’s anything else we can do I don’t think your body is strong enough to
think your body is strong enough to
think your body is strong enough to endure more chemotherapy and these
endure more chemotherapy and these
endure more chemotherapy and these conversations are always hardest when
conversations are always hardest when
conversations are always hardest when the patient has beaten all odds to this
the patient has beaten all odds to this
the patient has beaten all odds to this point I think you need to consider
point I think you need to consider
point I think you need to consider hospice you know you can go to the
hospice you know you can go to the
hospice you know you can go to the hospice facility on this side of town
hospice facility on this side of town
hospice facility on this side of town and you can go home and Hospice comes to
and you can go home and Hospice comes to
and you can go home and Hospice comes to you and my father says what if I went
you and my father says what if I went
you and my father says what if I went home got stronger and came back for more
home got stronger and came back for more
home got stronger and came back for more chemotherapy it’s heard that and before
chemotherapy it’s heard that and before
chemotherapy it’s heard that and before that sweet oncologist could answer my
that sweet oncologist could answer my
that sweet oncologist could answer my father my dad looks at me he goes Steph
father my dad looks at me he goes Steph
father my dad looks at me he goes Steph what do you think
what do I think I’m in that’s what I
what do I think I’m in that’s what I think you want to go home get stronger
think you want to go home get stronger
think you want to go home get stronger I’ll make you stronger you want to come
I’ll make you stronger you want to come
I’ll make you stronger you want to come back here and sit through more
back here and sit through more
back here and sit through more chemotherapy I will sit through more
chemotherapy I will sit through more
chemotherapy I will sit through more chemotherapy I’m gonna do everything I
chemotherapy I’m gonna do everything I
chemotherapy I’m gonna do everything I can in my power to save you we went home
can in my power to save you we went home
can in my power to save you we went home got some weights and then to that leg
got some weights and then to that leg
got some weights and then to that leg lifts and everything that you need when
lifts and everything that you need when
lifts and everything that you need when you’re on on bed rest and the next
you’re on on bed rest and the next
you’re on on bed rest and the next chapter was written fairly quickly which
chapter was written fairly quickly which
chapter was written fairly quickly which is quit your job plan to bring a job
is quit your job plan to bring a job
is quit your job plan to bring a job because you can’t be in two places at
because you can’t be in two places at
because you can’t be in two places at the same time and I didn’t be an island
the same time and I didn’t be an island
the same time and I didn’t be an island off of Savannah Georgia I could be here
off of Savannah Georgia I could be here
off of Savannah Georgia I could be here working raising three children and my
working raising three children and my
working raising three children and my family and I wanted every ounce of me
family and I wanted every ounce of me
family and I wanted every ounce of me wanted to be with my father ironically I
wanted to be with my father ironically I
wanted to be with my father ironically I worked at the Dallas Women’s Foundation
worked at the Dallas Women’s Foundation
worked at the Dallas Women’s Foundation so when I went to resign my CEO Rosalind
so when I went to resign my CEO Rosalind
so when I went to resign my CEO Rosalind said I can’t let you quit our entire
said I can’t let you quit our entire
said I can’t let you quit our entire mission is to empower women to keep them
mission is to empower women to keep them
mission is to empower women to keep them from being financially vulnerable due to
from being financially vulnerable due to
from being financially vulnerable due to their roles as caregivers and you’re
their roles as caregivers and you’re
their roles as caregivers and you’re doing the very thing that we’re trying
doing the very thing that we’re trying
doing the very thing that we’re trying to prevent go be with your dad the
to prevent go be with your dad the
to prevent go be with your dad the caveat to that chapter or a quick short
caveat to that chapter or a quick short
caveat to that chapter or a quick short chapter right after that would be hey
chapter right after that would be hey
chapter right after that would be hey don’t expect that to happen
don’t expect that to happen
don’t expect that to happen Forbes magazine just released an article
Forbes magazine just released an article
Forbes magazine just released an article that a record number of 50 year old
that a record number of 50 year old
that a record number of 50 year old women are leaving their careers to go
women are leaving their careers to go
women are leaving their careers to go take care of their parents basically
take care of their parents basically
take care of their parents basically what’s happening is we’re watching the
what’s happening is we’re watching the
what’s happening is we’re watching the ship sink and we’re all jumping in it
ship sink and we’re all jumping in it
ship sink and we’re all jumping in it and we’re trying to keep the water from
and we’re trying to keep the water from
and we’re trying to keep the water from coming in and we’re trying to block it
coming in and we’re trying to block it
coming in and we’re trying to block it all and meanwhile we’re moving so fast
all and meanwhile we’re moving so fast
all and meanwhile we’re moving so fast and everything’s frantic and if we’d had
and everything’s frantic and if we’d had
and everything’s frantic and if we’d had a plan it wouldn’t have to be that way
a plan it wouldn’t have to be that way
a plan it wouldn’t have to be that way right because as hard as it was watching
right because as hard as it was watching
right because as hard as it was watching my father die there were beautiful
my father die there were beautiful
my father die there were beautiful moments that I would have missed out on
moments that I would have missed out on
moments that I would have missed out on if I wasn’t there I remember when the
if I wasn’t there I remember when the
if I wasn’t there I remember when the hospice doctor finally came to his house
hospice doctor finally came to his house
hospice doctor finally came to his house I pulled her aside to another room and
I pulled her aside to another room and
I pulled her aside to another room and without anybody hearing me said listen I
without anybody hearing me said listen I
without anybody hearing me said listen I need to know how much time we have
need to know how much time we have
need to know how much time we have now because I think you’re the crystal
now because I think you’re the crystal
now because I think you’re the crystal ball and because I think you have any
ball and because I think you have any
ball and because I think you have any godlike qualities but because I need to
godlike qualities but because I need to
godlike qualities but because I need to make a very important decision while
make a very important decision while
make a very important decision while he’s still coherent you see my father
he’s still coherent you see my father
he’s still coherent you see my father took care of all of the financial
took care of all of the financial
took care of all of the financial matters between my mother and my father
matters between my mother and my father
matters between my mother and my father for 60 years and she doesn’t know where
for 60 years and she doesn’t know where
for 60 years and she doesn’t know where everything is and he does and I have to
everything is and he does and I have to
everything is and he does and I have to figure that out right now
figure that out right now
figure that out right now and she and I said or I can talk to him
and she and I said or I can talk to him
and she and I said or I can talk to him about the things that matter and she
about the things that matter and she
about the things that matter and she said I think you should talk about the
said I think you should talk about the
said I think you should talk about the things that matter I have found in my
things that matter I have found in my
things that matter I have found in my experience that all the other things
experience that all the other things
experience that all the other things fall into place but it wouldn’t even
fall into place but it wouldn’t even
fall into place but it wouldn’t even have mattered what she responded with
have mattered what she responded with
have mattered what she responded with because I would have talked to him about
because I would have talked to him about
because I would have talked to him about the things that matter we had this these
the things that matter we had this these
the things that matter we had this these wood kitchen stools in the kitchen and I
wood kitchen stools in the kitchen and I
wood kitchen stools in the kitchen and I took a kitchen stool and I placed it
took a kitchen stool and I placed it
took a kitchen stool and I placed it next to my father’s bed and I sat on
next to my father’s bed and I sat on
next to my father’s bed and I sat on that stool and I hovered over his face
that stool and I hovered over his face
that stool and I hovered over his face like a turkey vulture and that poor man
like a turkey vulture and that poor man
like a turkey vulture and that poor man he couldn’t move right she’s my hostage
he couldn’t move right she’s my hostage
he couldn’t move right she’s my hostage and every time his eyes would kind of
and every time his eyes would kind of
and every time his eyes would kind of flutter I stopped him with I love yous
flutter I stopped him with I love yous
flutter I stopped him with I love yous and I feel like at one point he raised
and I feel like at one point he raised
and I feel like at one point he raised his hand like enough like when you’ve
his hand like enough like when you’ve
his hand like enough like when you’ve eaten too many pancakes right like no
eaten too many pancakes right like no
eaten too many pancakes right like no more Stefan with I love you tell him
more Stefan with I love you tell him
more Stefan with I love you tell him you’re the greatest father ever ask him
you’re the greatest father ever ask him
you’re the greatest father ever ask him how did you meet my mother I know how he
how did you meet my mother I know how he
how did you meet my mother I know how he met my mother they were 13 years old and
met my mother they were 13 years old and
met my mother they were 13 years old and they met at cotillion
they met at cotillion
they met at cotillion everybody in my family my giant family
everybody in my family my giant family
everybody in my family my giant family knows this story but I wanted to hear
knows this story but I wanted to hear
knows this story but I wanted to hear his version of the love story in his
his version of the love story in his
his version of the love story in his words and I had one chance to do it
words and I had one chance to do it
words and I had one chance to do it right
it was a hard decision and I don’t
it was a hard decision and I don’t regret it for a minute I made that
regret it for a minute I made that
regret it for a minute I made that decision so the next day when he passed
decision so the next day when he passed
decision so the next day when he passed away I’m sitting on the living room
away I’m sitting on the living room
away I’m sitting on the living room floor
floor
floor about this space except you know I’ve
about this space except you know I’ve
about this space except you know I’ve worn nothing but pajamas for six weeks
worn nothing but pajamas for six weeks
worn nothing but pajamas for six weeks straight so imagine me and pajamas which
straight so imagine me and pajamas which
straight so imagine me and pajamas which I didn’t wear today but I didn’t think
I didn’t wear today but I didn’t think
I didn’t wear today but I didn’t think about wearing them sitting on the floor
about wearing them sitting on the floor
about wearing them sitting on the floor and I’m surrounded with papers and
and I’m surrounded with papers and
and I’m surrounded with papers and numbers just a mess and my mother walks
numbers just a mess and my mother walks
numbers just a mess and my mother walks in and she stands in front of me and she
in and she stands in front of me and she
in and she stands in front of me and she is petite to begin with but she’s even
is petite to begin with but she’s even
is petite to begin with but she’s even more petite she looks frail and I
more petite she looks frail and I
more petite she looks frail and I described this and my brother agreed
described this and my brother agreed
described this and my brother agreed with me
with me
with me she was anchor –less she had just over
she was anchor –less she had just over
she was anchor –less she had just over 73 and they’ve been together since they
73 and they’ve been together since they
73 and they’ve been together since they were 13 and she’s looking at me like I’m
were 13 and she’s looking at me like I’m
were 13 and she’s looking at me like I’m the lighthouse and she says your father
the lighthouse and she says your father
the lighthouse and she says your father always assured me that we were going to
always assured me that we were going to
always assured me that we were going to be okay and that we had enough you do
be okay and that we had enough you do
be okay and that we had enough you do but in the back of my head was I just
but in the back of my head was I just
but in the back of my head was I just got to find it right in that moment I
got to find it right in that moment I
got to find it right in that moment I went from my father’s medical expert to
went from my father’s medical expert to
went from my father’s medical expert to my mother’s financial archaeologist
my mother’s financial archaeologist
my mother’s financial archaeologist right and I’m like what are all these
right and I’m like what are all these
right and I’m like what are all these documents what is everything what did he
documents what is everything what did he
documents what is everything what did he do for 20 years after he sold his
do for 20 years after he sold his
do for 20 years after he sold his business he invested their money it was
business he invested their money it was
business he invested their money it was everywhere at least to me it seemed that
everywhere at least to me it seemed that
everywhere at least to me it seemed that way now my father knew exactly where it
way now my father knew exactly where it
way now my father knew exactly where it was he knew where all those numbers were
was he knew where all those numbers were
was he knew where all those numbers were he knew his financial advisors I didn’t
he knew his financial advisors I didn’t
he knew his financial advisors I didn’t and my mom didn’t and I kept thinking
and my mom didn’t and I kept thinking
and my mom didn’t and I kept thinking where are all these financial advisors
where are all these financial advisors
where are all these financial advisors now and why aren’t they flying to this
now and why aren’t they flying to this
now and why aren’t they flying to this island to help me take care of my mother
island to help me take care of my mother
island to help me take care of my mother and if they would have arrived to the
and if they would have arrived to the
and if they would have arrived to the island the second question I would have
island the second question I would have
island the second question I would have asked them is why didn’t you budget for
asked them is why didn’t you budget for
asked them is why didn’t you budget for love
you I see the investment strategies for
you I see the investment strategies for your retirement account sighs I see what
your retirement account sighs I see what
your retirement account sighs I see what you’ve spent on college education from
you’ve spent on college education from
you’ve spent on college education from me and Gucci all worth it
me and Gucci all worth it
me and Gucci all worth it see what you spent on weddings I see all
see what you spent on weddings I see all
see what you spent on weddings I see all this but nowhere in here do I see
this but nowhere in here do I see
this but nowhere in here do I see budgeting for love budgeting for care
budgeting for love budgeting for care
budgeting for love budgeting for care budgeting for cancer budgeting for a
budgeting for cancer budgeting for a
budgeting for cancer budgeting for a daughter who’s gonna quit her job and
daughter who’s gonna quit her job and
daughter who’s gonna quit her job and fly to this island or budgeting for a
fly to this island or budgeting for a
fly to this island or budgeting for a nursing staff to come take care of you
nursing staff to come take care of you
nursing staff to come take care of you full-time budgeting to stay in your home
full-time budgeting to stay in your home
full-time budgeting to stay in your home and retrofit it so that you can live
and retrofit it so that you can live
and retrofit it so that you can live with ease or budgeting for an expensive
with ease or budgeting for an expensive
with ease or budgeting for an expensive assisted living facility I don’t see the
assisted living facility I don’t see the
assisted living facility I don’t see the budget for that I got angry and angry at
budget for that I got angry and angry at
budget for that I got angry and angry at this whole world that focuses so much on
this whole world that focuses so much on
this whole world that focuses so much on what to expect when you’re expecting a
what to expect when you’re expecting a
what to expect when you’re expecting a baby and nothing on caring for my
baby and nothing on caring for my
baby and nothing on caring for my beloved 73 year old father angry that
beloved 73 year old father angry that
beloved 73 year old father angry that the financial sector had us duped into
the financial sector had us duped into
the financial sector had us duped into thinking that saving for retirement is
thinking that saving for retirement is
thinking that saving for retirement is simply making sure that you have the
simply making sure that you have the
simply making sure that you have the same amount of assets when you’re no
same amount of assets when you’re no
same amount of assets when you’re no longer working and that’s what you need
longer working and that’s what you need
longer working and that’s what you need or that you’re a lovely couple with you
or that you’re a lovely couple with you
or that you’re a lovely couple with you know thick gray hair and big white teeth
know thick gray hair and big white teeth
know thick gray hair and big white teeth and you you’re sailing off somewhere
and you you’re sailing off somewhere
and you you’re sailing off somewhere together I hate the pictures are always
together I hate the pictures are always
together I hate the pictures are always the same
the same
the same I won’t grade that well my husband
I won’t grade that well my husband
I won’t grade that well my husband really doesn’t have that much hair right
really doesn’t have that much hair right
really doesn’t have that much hair right now
now
now and I’m a mountain person not a water
and I’m a mountain person not a water
and I’m a mountain person not a water person so even the picture is wrong for
person so even the picture is wrong for
person so even the picture is wrong for me the whole thing was wrong
me the whole thing was wrong
me the whole thing was wrong I wanted my what to expect now maybe
I wanted my what to expect now maybe
I wanted my what to expect now maybe maybe they would come back and say your
maybe they would come back and say your
maybe they would come back and say your father didn’t want to talk about aging
father didn’t want to talk about aging
father didn’t want to talk about aging he didn’t want to talk about losing his
he didn’t want to talk about losing his
he didn’t want to talk about losing his independence he didn’t want to talk
independence he didn’t want to talk
independence he didn’t want to talk about cancer your mom definitely didn’t
about cancer your mom definitely didn’t
about cancer your mom definitely didn’t want to talk about it okay I get that
want to talk about it okay I get that
want to talk about it okay I get that it’s a hard topic and people don’t want
it’s a hard topic and people don’t want
it’s a hard topic and people don’t want to talk about adult diapers I don’t want
to talk about adult diapers I don’t want
to talk about adult diapers I don’t want to talk about Alzheimer’s and forgetting
to talk about Alzheimer’s and forgetting
to talk about Alzheimer’s and forgetting the names of the people you love they
the names of the people you love they
the names of the people you love they don’t want to talk about writing a will
don’t want to talk about writing a will
don’t want to talk about writing a will dividing your assets and picking
dividing your assets and picking
dividing your assets and picking somebody else to raise your children
somebody else to raise your children
somebody else to raise your children instead of you I they don’t want to talk
instead of you I they don’t want to talk
instead of you I they don’t want to talk about saying goodbye forever to the
about saying goodbye forever to the
about saying goodbye forever to the people who need you and love you most
people who need you and love you most
people who need you and love you most how are they supposed to do their jobs
how are they supposed to do their jobs
how are they supposed to do their jobs if nobody’s going to talk about this how
if nobody’s going to talk about this how
if nobody’s going to talk about this how are we going to talk about this the
are we going to talk about this the
are we going to talk about this the final chapter what to expect is don’t
final chapter what to expect is don’t
final chapter what to expect is don’t talk about it then don’t talk about it
talk about it then don’t talk about it
talk about it then don’t talk about it talking about babies talk about babies
talking about babies talk about babies
talking about babies talk about babies talk about being pregnant rub people’s
talk about being pregnant rub people’s
talk about being pregnant rub people’s stomachs no matter what right
stomachs no matter what right
stomachs no matter what right give an unsolicited advice
change the topic and change the
change the topic and change the vocabulary right because people love
vocabulary right because people love
vocabulary right because people love talking about that stuff so people must
talking about that stuff so people must
talking about that stuff so people must love talking about love
love talking about love
love talking about love talk about love Pokemon live instead
talk about love Pokemon live instead
talk about love Pokemon live instead change the vocabulary to all this write
change the vocabulary to all this write
change the vocabulary to all this write the story of your obituaries right right
the story of your obituaries right right
the story of your obituaries right right and while your friends are around so you
and while your friends are around so you
and while your friends are around so you can make sure that you’re in them you
can make sure that you’re in them you
can make sure that you’re in them you might not know died unexpectedly or
might not know died unexpectedly or
might not know died unexpectedly or hounded by people you love
hounded by people you love
hounded by people you love you know you won’t know the fronts and
you know you won’t know the fronts and
you know you won’t know the fronts and the and the bottoms and those of you who
the and the bottoms and those of you who
the and the bottoms and those of you who read obituaries like I do you know
read obituaries like I do you know
read obituaries like I do you know exactly what I’m talking about right
exactly what I’m talking about right
exactly what I’m talking about right you’ll know the middle you can do the
you’ll know the middle you can do the
you’ll know the middle you can do the middle but you can definitely rewrite
middle but you can definitely rewrite
middle but you can definitely rewrite your will right you can definitely write
your will right you can definitely write
your will right you can definitely write that part of your plan and you could
that part of your plan and you could
that part of your plan and you could write it like a love letter and I’ll
write it like a love letter and I’ll
write it like a love letter and I’ll give you my example step three children
give you my example step three children
give you my example step three children and you have to put aside for a minute
and you have to put aside for a minute
and you have to put aside for a minute and this has always been a big problem
and this has always been a big problem
and this has always been a big problem for my children and I always have to you
for my children and I always have to you
for my children and I always have to you can’t divide things equally amongst
can’t divide things equally amongst
can’t divide things equally amongst three so somebody feel free to come up
three so somebody feel free to come up
three so somebody feel free to come up to me afterwards can have that 1% that
to me afterwards can have that 1% that
to me afterwards can have that 1% that nobody else gets but I’m gonna start
nobody else gets but I’m gonna start
nobody else gets but I’m gonna start like this there Isabella
like this there Isabella
like this there Isabella Jacqueline and Christian
if you know nothing else in life you
if you know nothing else in life you know how much I love you you are my
know how much I love you you are my
know how much I love you you are my favorite people ever not because I birth
favorite people ever not because I birth
favorite people ever not because I birth a deal because I’m far more objective
a deal because I’m far more objective
a deal because I’m far more objective than that because you’re smart and
than that because you’re smart and
than that because you’re smart and interesting and you make me laugh and I
interesting and you make me laugh and I
interesting and you make me laugh and I love you equally but uniquely and so
love you equally but uniquely and so
love you equally but uniquely and so I’ve divided up my assets equally but
I’ve divided up my assets equally but
I’ve divided up my assets equally but uniquely and you if you think I’ve done
uniquely and you if you think I’ve done
uniquely and you if you think I’ve done it wrong and work it out and michaleen
it wrong and work it out and michaleen
it wrong and work it out and michaleen cuz if you don’t I’m gonna haunt you I
I’m gonna haunt you and you might have
I’m gonna haunt you and you might have to be one of my children to appreciate
to be one of my children to appreciate
to be one of my children to appreciate this part but and if you think I’m scary
this part but and if you think I’m scary
this part but and if you think I’m scary as a human mom huh wait time ago small
as a human mom huh wait time ago small
as a human mom huh wait time ago small right of course I’ve have to do with
right of course I’ve have to do with
right of course I’ve have to do with xoxo mom right change the vocabulary I
xoxo mom right change the vocabulary I
xoxo mom right change the vocabulary I don’t think this book what to expect
don’t think this book what to expect
don’t think this book what to expect that you aren’t expecting that you
that you aren’t expecting that you
that you aren’t expecting that you totally need to expect it’s gonna be
totally need to expect it’s gonna be
totally need to expect it’s gonna be hard to write father’s been gone for two
hard to write father’s been gone for two
hard to write father’s been gone for two years somebody asked me other day when
years somebody asked me other day when
years somebody asked me other day when did he pass away and I said he’s been
did he pass away and I said he’s been
did he pass away and I said he’s been over for two years and they said it
over for two years and they said it
over for two years and they said it seems like yesterday I said because I
seems like yesterday I said because I
seems like yesterday I said because I talk about it all the time and I would
talk about it all the time and I would
talk about it all the time and I would talk about it more if I was around
talk about it more if I was around
talk about it more if I was around people all the time I don’t think it’s
people all the time I don’t think it’s
people all the time I don’t think it’s gonna be hard to write and I refuse to
gonna be hard to write and I refuse to
gonna be hard to write and I refuse to let it go unwritten I love the people I
let it go unwritten I love the people I
let it go unwritten I love the people I love in the world they live in I would
love in the world they live in I would
love in the world they live in I would give every minute every last second
give every minute every last second
give every minute every last second every last dime to save someone
and the truth of the matter is they
and the truth of the matter is they deserve to know what to expect
”
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