I want to share an experience that I had about eight years ago and that was quite
about eight years ago and that was quite
about eight years ago and that was quite disruptive in many ways it happened in a
disruptive in many ways it happened in a
disruptive in many ways it happened in a morning of January 5th 2010 and as I
morning of January 5th 2010 and as I
morning of January 5th 2010 and as I opened my eyes the room was still dark
opened my eyes the room was still dark
opened my eyes the room was still dark around me I felt a bit disoriented and
around me I felt a bit disoriented and
around me I felt a bit disoriented and when I finally managed to turn the light
when I finally managed to turn the light
when I finally managed to turn the light on I realized that instead of my usual
on I realized that instead of my usual
on I realized that instead of my usual pajamas I was wearing some kind of green
pajamas I was wearing some kind of green
pajamas I was wearing some kind of green and white shirt you know the type of
and white shirt you know the type of
and white shirt you know the type of shirt that covers you pretty well on the
shirt that covers you pretty well on the
shirt that covers you pretty well on the front side wasn’t it
front side wasn’t it
front side wasn’t it there’s not much to cover you on the
there’s not much to cover you on the
there’s not much to cover you on the back side I thought that must be some
back side I thought that must be some
back side I thought that must be some kind of hospital so what I did
kind of hospital so what I did
kind of hospital so what I did i sat at the edge of the bed for a while
i sat at the edge of the bed for a while
i sat at the edge of the bed for a while and I looked at the room around me in
and I looked at the room around me in
and I looked at the room around me in fact there was not much in the room and
fact there was not much in the room and
fact there was not much in the room and it was completely empty and being an
it was completely empty and being an
it was completely empty and being an introvert I needed some time to figure
introvert I needed some time to figure
introvert I needed some time to figure out what I was going to do next so I
out what I was going to do next so I
out what I was going to do next so I waited there for maybe something like 20
waited there for maybe something like 20
waited there for maybe something like 20 minutes listening to the sounds around
minutes listening to the sounds around
minutes listening to the sounds around me I thought maybe someone would come
me I thought maybe someone would come
me I thought maybe someone would come maybe something would happen but after
maybe something would happen but after
maybe something would happen but after 20 minutes nothing happened
20 minutes nothing happened
20 minutes nothing happened so I thought I’m not gonna spend my
so I thought I’m not gonna spend my
so I thought I’m not gonna spend my whole day here and after a while I
whole day here and after a while I
whole day here and after a while I decided I was going to to stand up reach
decided I was going to to stand up reach
decided I was going to to stand up reach for the door and then I went into the
for the door and then I went into the
for the door and then I went into the corridor and when I arrived into that
corridor and when I arrived into that
corridor and when I arrived into that corridor I saw a lady with the white
corridor I saw a lady with the white
corridor I saw a lady with the white coats nice badge pens and pencils I
coats nice badge pens and pencils I
coats nice badge pens and pencils I thought this lady must be a doctor and
thought this lady must be a doctor and
thought this lady must be a doctor and she’s going to help me so I went to the
she’s going to help me so I went to the
she’s going to help me so I went to the lady and I said what happened what am I
lady and I said what happened what am I
lady and I said what happened what am I doing here she said mr. Mobley you just
doing here she said mr. Mobley you just
doing here she said mr. Mobley you just had been through a burnout and you’re in
had been through a burnout and you’re in
had been through a burnout and you’re in the clinic near Lake Geneva so I thought
the clinic near Lake Geneva so I thought
the clinic near Lake Geneva so I thought what shall I do what are the next steps
what shall I do what are the next steps
what shall I do what are the next steps how long will I stay here said Mr moly
how long will I stay here said Mr moly
how long will I stay here said Mr moly please I guess you must be quite
please I guess you must be quite
please I guess you must be quite exhausted at the time so I would advise
exhausted at the time so I would advise
exhausted at the time so I would advise first thing you do you go back to your
first thing you do you go back to your
first thing you do you go back to your room and try to get some sleep I was
room and try to get some sleep I was
room and try to get some sleep I was frustrating so I went back I said
frustrating so I went back I said
frustrating so I went back I said what am I doing here what should I do
what am I doing here what should I do
what am I doing here what should I do what are the next step for how long will
what are the next step for how long will
what are the next step for how long will I be here she looked me straight into
I be here she looked me straight into
I be here she looked me straight into the ice mr. Murli i have just told you
the ice mr. Murli i have just told you
the ice mr. Murli i have just told you please go back to your room and sleep
please go back to your room and sleep
please go back to your room and sleep sleep sleep that’s what I did
sleep sleep that’s what I did
sleep sleep that’s what I did but after a while after a few days few
but after a while after a few days few
but after a while after a few days few weeks in the in the hospital there was a
weeks in the in the hospital there was a
weeks in the in the hospital there was a turning point I was having lunch with
turning point I was having lunch with
turning point I was having lunch with one of the long-term patients in the
one of the long-term patients in the
one of the long-term patients in the clinic well you know it was not really
clinic well you know it was not really
clinic well you know it was not really like having lunch in a restaurants we
like having lunch in a restaurants we
like having lunch in a restaurants we were basically sitting at a table in the
were basically sitting at a table in the
were basically sitting at a table in the main hall where they would serve us the
main hall where they would serve us the
main hall where they would serve us the usual mix of food and medicines that you
usual mix of food and medicines that you
usual mix of food and medicines that you get in this type of clinic and at that
get in this type of clinic and at that
get in this type of clinic and at that point he told me I said Fred you know
point he told me I said Fred you know
point he told me I said Fred you know I’ve been observing you for the last two
I’ve been observing you for the last two
I’ve been observing you for the last two weeks and I think you don’t belong here
weeks and I think you don’t belong here
weeks and I think you don’t belong here you had a lot of visit from your wife
you had a lot of visit from your wife
you had a lot of visit from your wife your friends even your kids so what are
your friends even your kids so what are
your friends even your kids so what are you doing here Fred I think you have a
you doing here Fred I think you have a
you doing here Fred I think you have a life outside of the hospital but if you
life outside of the hospital but if you
life outside of the hospital but if you want to get out of here at the end of
want to get out of here at the end of
want to get out of here at the end of the day Fred it’s your call you need to
the day Fred it’s your call you need to
the day Fred it’s your call you need to make it happen and I can tell you this
make it happen and I can tell you this
make it happen and I can tell you this was like an electricity discharge in my
was like an electricity discharge in my
was like an electricity discharge in my spine because at that time I realized
spine because at that time I realized
spine because at that time I realized that if I really want to get out of the
that if I really want to get out of the
that if I really want to get out of the hospital and reconnect with life I had
hospital and reconnect with life I had
hospital and reconnect with life I had to welcome disruption
to welcome disruption
to welcome disruption I had to fundamentally and quickly
I had to fundamentally and quickly
I had to fundamentally and quickly change my mindset so that I could
change my mindset so that I could
change my mindset so that I could welcome that disruption embrace change
welcome that disruption embrace change
welcome that disruption embrace change and move on and thanks to my resilience
and move on and thanks to my resilience
and move on and thanks to my resilience and also to all the support that I got
and also to all the support that I got
and also to all the support that I got at the time I could progressively
at the time I could progressively
at the time I could progressively recover and move on of course he was not
recover and move on of course he was not
recover and move on of course he was not an instant recovery and I’m very
an instant recovery and I’m very
an instant recovery and I’m very grateful to all the people who gave me
grateful to all the people who gave me
grateful to all the people who gave me support at the time being the doctors
support at the time being the doctors
support at the time being the doctors the caregivers my wife family friends my
the caregivers my wife family friends my
the caregivers my wife family friends my mentor and I cannot find words to
mentor and I cannot find words to
mentor and I cannot find words to describe what a gift it was when two
describe what a gift it was when two
describe what a gift it was when two years later I could go back to the
years later I could go back to the
years later I could go back to the hospital but this time in a completely
hospital but this time in a completely
hospital but this time in a completely different setting at the time we had the
different setting at the time we had the
different setting at the time we had the luck to welcome our third kid the little
luck to welcome our third kid the little
luck to welcome our third kid the little Nomi who then join our growing family
Nomi who then join our growing family
Nomi who then join our growing family and when I look back I think that
and when I look back I think that
and when I look back I think that burnout has been really an incredible
burnout has been really an incredible
burnout has been really an incredible experience in term of learning so it was
experience in term of learning so it was
experience in term of learning so it was a great gift in a way but at the same
a great gift in a way but at the same
a great gift in a way but at the same time I’m aware that this is a big
time I’m aware that this is a big
time I’m aware that this is a big phenomenon in our society today and it
phenomenon in our society today and it
phenomenon in our society today and it has a big social impact so I should
has a big social impact so I should
has a big social impact so I should really do our best to try and prevent it
really do our best to try and prevent it
really do our best to try and prevent it so in the next 10 minutes I’m going to
so in the next 10 minutes I’m going to
so in the next 10 minutes I’m going to share with you some first-hand insights
share with you some first-hand insights
share with you some first-hand insights as to what is the exhaustion process
as to what is the exhaustion process
as to what is the exhaustion process what can you do to prevent it for
what can you do to prevent it for
what can you do to prevent it for yourself but also for the people around
yourself but also for the people around
yourself but also for the people around you that you care for but before we do
you that you care for but before we do
you that you care for but before we do that let’s have a quick check with you
that let’s have a quick check with you
that let’s have a quick check with you in the room I’m going to ask you please
in the room I’m going to ask you please
in the room I’m going to ask you please to raise your hand if at some stage in
to raise your hand if at some stage in
to raise your hand if at some stage in your life or your career some of your
your life or your career some of your
your life or your career some of your friend a colleague somebody close to you
friend a colleague somebody close to you
friend a colleague somebody close to you I went through the burnout experience
I went through the burnout experience
I went through the burnout experience and has been impacted by the burnout so
and has been impacted by the burnout so
and has been impacted by the burnout so please raise your hand if that happened
please raise your hand if that happened
please raise your hand if that happened around you yeah look around you that’s
around you yeah look around you that’s
around you yeah look around you that’s quite impressive huh
quite impressive huh
quite impressive huh so that’s way too many burnouts and
so that’s way too many burnouts and
so that’s way too many burnouts and let’s see what we can do to prevent them
let’s see what we can do to prevent them
let’s see what we can do to prevent them in the time that we have I’m going to
in the time that we have I’m going to
in the time that we have I’m going to keep it simple and I’m going to drive
keep it simple and I’m going to drive
keep it simple and I’m going to drive you through the exhaustion process
you through the exhaustion process
you through the exhaustion process giving you some watch points around
giving you some watch points around
giving you some watch points around three main axes that get disrupted
three main axes that get disrupted
three main axes that get disrupted during the exhaustion this is at the
during the exhaustion this is at the
during the exhaustion this is at the physical Adam mental and at the
physical Adam mental and at the
physical Adam mental and at the emotional level if you look first at the
emotional level if you look first at the
emotional level if you look first at the physical what you need to do to manage
physical what you need to do to manage
physical what you need to do to manage your physical part of the exhaustion
your physical part of the exhaustion
your physical part of the exhaustion first you need to understand how your
first you need to understand how your
first you need to understand how your nervous system works in your nervous
nervous system works in your nervous
nervous system works in your nervous system there’s a part called autonomous
system there’s a part called autonomous
system there’s a part called autonomous nervous system that constantly regulates
nervous system that constantly regulates
nervous system that constantly regulates your physiology
your physiology
your physiology it can either stimulate your body that’s
it can either stimulate your body that’s
it can either stimulate your body that’s called sympathetic activity or it can
called sympathetic activity or it can
called sympathetic activity or it can slow it down and this is called
slow it down and this is called
slow it down and this is called parasympathetic recovery and this
parasympathetic recovery and this
parasympathetic recovery and this normally is an autonomous regulation
normally is an autonomous regulation
normally is an autonomous regulation we’re not even aware of
we’re not even aware of
we’re not even aware of you can even monitor that with some
you can even monitor that with some
you can even monitor that with some small devices and I’m going to show you
small devices and I’m going to show you
small devices and I’m going to show you an example of how it looks like when
an example of how it looks like when
an example of how it looks like when this regulation works well so here is
this regulation works well so here is
this regulation works well so here is what we did we selected a person who had
what we did we selected a person who had
what we did we selected a person who had a good overall life balance and we asked
a good overall life balance and we asked
a good overall life balance and we asked her to start wearing the device about 30
her to start wearing the device about 30
her to start wearing the device about 30 minutes before bedtime and you see on
minutes before bedtime and you see on
minutes before bedtime and you see on this first graph
this first graph
this first graph the result of that monitoring of her
the result of that monitoring of her
the result of that monitoring of her nervous system during the night so in
nervous system during the night so in
nervous system during the night so in the first 30 minutes you see some red
the first 30 minutes you see some red
the first 30 minutes you see some red bars and this corresponds to the
bars and this corresponds to the
bars and this corresponds to the sympathetic activity when the person was
sympathetic activity when the person was
sympathetic activity when the person was still awake and active and when the
still awake and active and when the
still awake and active and when the person then goes to bed and falls asleep
person then goes to bed and falls asleep
person then goes to bed and falls asleep you see that some green bars pick up
you see that some green bars pick up
you see that some green bars pick up that’s around 11:00 p.m. and that’s when
that’s around 11:00 p.m. and that’s when
that’s around 11:00 p.m. and that’s when the nervous system directly switch into
the nervous system directly switch into
the nervous system directly switch into parasympathetic recovery okay that’s
parasympathetic recovery okay that’s
parasympathetic recovery okay that’s what you would normally have when the
what you would normally have when the
what you would normally have when the nervous system works well and then it
nervous system works well and then it
nervous system works well and then it stays high for the whole night
stays high for the whole night
stays high for the whole night so here the person had a full night of
so here the person had a full night of
so here the person had a full night of restorative sleep that’s a situation we
restorative sleep that’s a situation we
restorative sleep that’s a situation we would all like to have however if you
would all like to have however if you
would all like to have however if you over stimulate your nervous system
over stimulate your nervous system
over stimulate your nervous system during the day it will start to impact
during the day it will start to impact
during the day it will start to impact the quality of your recovery at night
the quality of your recovery at night
the quality of your recovery at night and that’s what you see on the next
and that’s what you see on the next
and that’s what you see on the next graph where this measurement was done
graph where this measurement was done
graph where this measurement was done with a person just after a stressful day
with a person just after a stressful day
with a person just after a stressful day and you see that during the night
and you see that during the night
and you see that during the night something unexpected happens there are
something unexpected happens there are
something unexpected happens there are some red bars that pick up in the middle
some red bars that pick up in the middle
some red bars that pick up in the middle of the night which shows that the
of the night which shows that the
of the night which shows that the nervous system has switched back into
nervous system has switched back into
nervous system has switched back into the active mode where as it should be in
the active mode where as it should be in
the active mode where as it should be in recovery mode because the person is
recovery mode because the person is
recovery mode because the person is asleep and that’s the trick is that here
asleep and that’s the trick is that here
asleep and that’s the trick is that here the person is not awake the person is
the person is not awake the person is
the person is not awake the person is asleep so it can happen when we are
asleep so it can happen when we are
asleep so it can happen when we are asleep and here what happens is that the
asleep and here what happens is that the
asleep and here what happens is that the person when she wakes up early in the
person when she wakes up early in the
person when she wakes up early in the morning she has basically lost one hour
morning she has basically lost one hour
morning she has basically lost one hour of restorative sleep without being aware
of restorative sleep without being aware
of restorative sleep without being aware of it and it becomes even worse when
of it and it becomes even worse when
of it and it becomes even worse when your stress becomes chronic and you are
your stress becomes chronic and you are
your stress becomes chronic and you are more advanced to the exhaustion process
more advanced to the exhaustion process
more advanced to the exhaustion process then your nervous system is almost kind
then your nervous system is almost kind
then your nervous system is almost kind of locked into the active mode which of
of locked into the active mode which of
of locked into the active mode which of course does not support you to recover
course does not support you to recover
course does not support you to recover and it’s a bit counterintuitive isn’t it
and it’s a bit counterintuitive isn’t it
and it’s a bit counterintuitive isn’t it because I mean here we have chronically
because I mean here we have chronically
because I mean here we have chronically fatigued and tired so all nervous system
fatigued and tired so all nervous system
fatigued and tired so all nervous system should support us and recover but it
should support us and recover but it
should support us and recover but it doesn’t happen because it has been so
doesn’t happen because it has been so
doesn’t happen because it has been so much stimulated that it’s kind of locked
much stimulated that it’s kind of locked
much stimulated that it’s kind of locked into the active mode the next thing that
into the active mode the next thing that
into the active mode the next thing that gets disrupted during the exhaustion
gets disrupted during the exhaustion
gets disrupted during the exhaustion process is at a mental level what
process is at a mental level what
process is at a mental level what happens at a mental level is that your
happens at a mental level is that your
happens at a mental level is that your ego does not want to accept that you are
ego does not want to accept that you are
ego does not want to accept that you are getting more and more tired so your ego
getting more and more tired so your ego
getting more and more tired so your ego wants
wants
wants to maintain an ideal self-image I call
to maintain an ideal self-image I call
to maintain an ideal self-image I call this the superhero syndrome he means
this the superhero syndrome he means
this the superhero syndrome he means that despite the fact you gag getting
that despite the fact you gag getting
that despite the fact you gag getting more and more tired another one you ego
more and more tired another one you ego
more and more tired another one you ego wants to project an image that you’re
wants to project an image that you’re
wants to project an image that you’re still a kind of Superman or Wonder Woman
still a kind of Superman or Wonder Woman
still a kind of Superman or Wonder Woman that you’re on top of things but indeed
that you’re on top of things but indeed
that you’re on top of things but indeed you’re getting overwhelmed this is a
you’re getting overwhelmed this is a
you’re getting overwhelmed this is a protection mechanism of the ego the
protection mechanism of the ego the
protection mechanism of the ego the problem is as the exhaustion progress
problem is as the exhaustion progress
problem is as the exhaustion progress you start to develop a biased perception
you start to develop a biased perception
you start to develop a biased perception of yourself and towards the end of the
of yourself and towards the end of the
of yourself and towards the end of the exhaustion there is so much tension in
exhaustion there is so much tension in
exhaustion there is so much tension in the self – ego axis that at some point
the self – ego axis that at some point
the self – ego axis that at some point you ego will dissociate from the self so
you ego will dissociate from the self so
you ego will dissociate from the self so you have a complete disrupter of the
you have a complete disrupter of the
you have a complete disrupter of the self – ego axis you get trapped into
self – ego axis you get trapped into
self – ego axis you get trapped into your ego and that’s the stage that is
your ego and that’s the stage that is
your ego and that’s the stage that is called depersonalization it’s quite
called depersonalization it’s quite
called depersonalization it’s quite disturbing at an emotional level what
disturbing at an emotional level what
disturbing at an emotional level what happens is that you basically lose your
happens is that you basically lose your
happens is that you basically lose your ability to regulate your emotions and
ability to regulate your emotions and
ability to regulate your emotions and you get stuck into the negative types of
you get stuck into the negative types of
you get stuck into the negative types of emotions I’m sure you can think of
emotions I’m sure you can think of
emotions I’m sure you can think of someone around you who would qualify as
someone around you who would qualify as
someone around you who would qualify as an energy black hole or an emotional
an energy black hole or an emotional
an energy black hole or an emotional black hole always stuck into the
black hole always stuck into the
black hole always stuck into the negative see that you nodding yeah well
negative see that you nodding yeah well
negative see that you nodding yeah well to be honest that’s more or less how you
to be honest that’s more or less how you
to be honest that’s more or less how you look like when you are exhausted and
look like when you are exhausted and
look like when you are exhausted and when you are close to burnout and of
when you are close to burnout and of
when you are close to burnout and of course that does not support you moving
course that does not support you moving
course that does not support you moving forward so you have a pretty good
forward so you have a pretty good
forward so you have a pretty good understanding of how the exhaustion
understanding of how the exhaustion
understanding of how the exhaustion works and how the different axes get
works and how the different axes get
works and how the different axes get disrupted by now and I’m going to share
disrupted by now and I’m going to share
disrupted by now and I’m going to share some tip as to how you can manage that
some tip as to how you can manage that
some tip as to how you can manage that proactively it’s a simple yet effective
proactively it’s a simple yet effective
proactively it’s a simple yet effective technique to manage that I call that
technique to manage that I call that
technique to manage that I call that green bowl analogy so the green bowl it
green bowl analogy so the green bowl it
green bowl analogy so the green bowl it stands for your self-care and recovery
stands for your self-care and recovery
stands for your self-care and recovery the green bowl is your time for doing
the green bowl is your time for doing
the green bowl is your time for doing nothing it’s your time to slow down rest
nothing it’s your time to slow down rest
nothing it’s your time to slow down rest and recover right and what happens as
and recover right and what happens as
and recover right and what happens as modern jugglers like this guide in the
modern jugglers like this guide in the
modern jugglers like this guide in the middle of the chart at some points we
middle of the chart at some points we
middle of the chart at some points we are so busy juggling with all the
are so busy juggling with all the
are so busy juggling with all the activities in our life that can be
activities in our life that can be
activities in our life that can be work-related personal project family
work-related personal project family
work-related personal project family friends we keep ourself busy and we tend
friends we keep ourself busy and we tend
friends we keep ourself busy and we tend to neglect the
to neglect the
to neglect the rainbow we tend to neglect our recovery
rainbow we tend to neglect our recovery
rainbow we tend to neglect our recovery so it’s very simple to remind that if
so it’s very simple to remind that if
so it’s very simple to remind that if you want to be a happy juggler and keep
you want to be a happy juggler and keep
you want to be a happy juggler and keep juggling yes you juggle with all the
juggling yes you juggle with all the
juggling yes you juggle with all the rest but make sure you always keep an
rest but make sure you always keep an
rest but make sure you always keep an eye on your green bowl because if you
eye on your green bowl because if you
eye on your green bowl because if you don’t then what will happen it’s at some
don’t then what will happen it’s at some
don’t then what will happen it’s at some stage you may drop your green ball and
stage you may drop your green ball and
stage you may drop your green ball and that’s when you burnout right so what do
that’s when you burnout right so what do
that’s when you burnout right so what do you do when you’re in burnout in burnout
you do when you’re in burnout in burnout
you do when you’re in burnout in burnout you need to understand something
you need to understand something
you need to understand something burnout is like being a hostage you’re a
burnout is like being a hostage you’re a
burnout is like being a hostage you’re a hostage to your nervous system that is
hostage to your nervous system that is
hostage to your nervous system that is locked into the active mode you are a
locked into the active mode you are a
locked into the active mode you are a hostage to your ego and you are a
hostage to your ego and you are a
hostage to your ego and you are a hostage to your negative emotional state
hostage to your negative emotional state
hostage to your negative emotional state you know you’ve locked emotionally so
you know you’ve locked emotionally so
you know you’ve locked emotionally so you’re in that hostage situation and the
you’re in that hostage situation and the
you’re in that hostage situation and the question is how do you get out of that
question is how do you get out of that
question is how do you get out of that you know how do you stop being a hostage
you know how do you stop being a hostage
you know how do you stop being a hostage I got the response to that question from
I got the response to that question from
I got the response to that question from Professor jolco raiser who is trained as
Professor jolco raiser who is trained as
Professor jolco raiser who is trained as psychologist and hostage negotiator and
psychologist and hostage negotiator and
psychologist and hostage negotiator and during his career with the FBI George
during his career with the FBI George
during his career with the FBI George has been involved in many hostage
has been involved in many hostage
has been involved in many hostage negotiations he has been involved even
negotiations he has been involved even
negotiations he has been involved even himself taken hostage three or four
himself taken hostage three or four
himself taken hostage three or four times during the negotiations and here
times during the negotiations and here
times during the negotiations and here is what George told me George told me at
is what George told me George told me at
is what George told me George told me at some stage he said yeah Fred you know
some stage he said yeah Fred you know
some stage he said yeah Fred you know you your burnout story I think you’re
you your burnout story I think you’re
you your burnout story I think you’re right it’s like a hostage situation
right it’s like a hostage situation
right it’s like a hostage situation think you’re right Fred in burnout is
think you’re right Fred in burnout is
think you’re right Fred in burnout is like hostage but think about it who is
like hostage but think about it who is
like hostage but think about it who is holding you hostage who is the hostage
holding you hostage who is the hostage
holding you hostage who is the hostage taker yourself it’s yourself
right it’s yourself so how do you get
right it’s yourself so how do you get out of that and that’s the thing it’s a
out of that and that’s the thing it’s a
out of that and that’s the thing it’s a paradox because you both the hostage and
paradox because you both the hostage and
paradox because you both the hostage and the hostage taker and it explains those
the hostage taker and it explains those
the hostage taker and it explains those so why you cannot get out of burnout in
so why you cannot get out of burnout in
so why you cannot get out of burnout in use on your own you’re going to need
use on your own you’re going to need
use on your own you’re going to need support from people around you who can
support from people around you who can
support from people around you who can be a secure base for you who can help
be a secure base for you who can help
be a secure base for you who can help you
you
you rebound create safe bonds you know the
rebound create safe bonds you know the
rebound create safe bonds you know the attachment theory you need to create
attachment theory you need to create
attachment theory you need to create safe and secure bonds among other human
safe and secure bonds among other human
safe and secure bonds among other human beings that what we
beings that what we
beings that what we here for we are here for to care for
here for we are here for to care for
here for we are here for to care for each other so you need that security
each other so you need that security
each other so you need that security that will not you cannot create within
that will not you cannot create within
that will not you cannot create within yourself because you’re in that hostage
yourself because you’re in that hostage
yourself because you’re in that hostage situation so we need that security from
situation so we need that security from
situation so we need that security from the secure bond and the the secure base
the secure bond and the the secure base
the secure bond and the the secure base around you let me tell you what my
around you let me tell you what my
around you let me tell you what my friend Patrick did to be a secure base
friend Patrick did to be a secure base
friend Patrick did to be a secure base for me that was in the evening just
for me that was in the evening just
for me that was in the evening just before the blackout that I described
before the blackout that I described
before the blackout that I described before I was freshly admitted into the
before I was freshly admitted into the
before I was freshly admitted into the clinic very unstable state and my friend
clinic very unstable state and my friend
clinic very unstable state and my friend Patrick when he heard that it just
Patrick when he heard that it just
Patrick when he heard that it just dropped everything at work and drove to
dropped everything at work and drove to
dropped everything at work and drove to the clinic there was my wife and his
the clinic there was my wife and his
the clinic there was my wife and his wife at the time and after some point he
wife at the time and after some point he
wife at the time and after some point he stayed with me and I was in a very
stayed with me and I was in a very
stayed with me and I was in a very unstable state I was paranoiac psychotic
unstable state I was paranoiac psychotic
unstable state I was paranoiac psychotic and he stayed with me for the whole
and he stayed with me for the whole
and he stayed with me for the whole evening I’ve been asking him a lot of
evening I’ve been asking him a lot of
evening I’ve been asking him a lot of twisted questions all the questions that
twisted questions all the questions that
twisted questions all the questions that I had in my mind at the time and he
I had in my mind at the time and he
I had in my mind at the time and he stayed with me he kept the bond he kept
stayed with me he kept the bond he kept
stayed with me he kept the bond he kept being a secure base and around midnight
being a secure base and around midnight
being a secure base and around midnight someone came and asked him he said sir
someone came and asked him he said sir
someone came and asked him he said sir are you part of the hospital how are you
are you part of the hospital how are you
are you part of the hospital how are you just visiting your friend and said no
just visiting your friend and said no
just visiting your friend and said no sorry I’m just visiting my friend and
sorry I’m just visiting my friend and
sorry I’m just visiting my friend and said so sorry sir but you will have to
said so sorry sir but you will have to
said so sorry sir but you will have to go and then Patrick realized I was going
go and then Patrick realized I was going
go and then Patrick realized I was going to lose my secure base so what did he do
to lose my secure base so what did he do
to lose my secure base so what did he do to keep the bond and to keep the secure
to keep the bond and to keep the secure
to keep the bond and to keep the secure base he took his jacket off gave it to
base he took his jacket off gave it to
base he took his jacket off gave it to me and he said take this red with this
me and he said take this red with this
me and he said take this red with this you will be fine and I can tell you that
you will be fine and I can tell you that
you will be fine and I can tell you that without a jacket I would probably not be
without a jacket I would probably not be
without a jacket I would probably not be here today because in the next week
here today because in the next week
here today because in the next week after that event that jacket was like a
after that event that jacket was like a
after that event that jacket was like a safe harbor
safe harbor
safe harbor it was my secure base right so I want to
it was my secure base right so I want to
it was my secure base right so I want to ask you as a conclusion you know we all
ask you as a conclusion you know we all
ask you as a conclusion you know we all have ups and downs in life if you are in
have ups and downs in life if you are in
have ups and downs in life if you are in the punching or in your life where
the punching or in your life where
the punching or in your life where you’re up maybe it’s time to look around
you’re up maybe it’s time to look around
you’re up maybe it’s time to look around you and look at your friend look at your
you and look at your friend look at your
you and look at your friend look at your colleagues and think about it maybe you
colleagues and think about it maybe you
colleagues and think about it maybe you can be a secure base for your friends
can be a secure base for your friends
can be a secure base for your friends and colleagues and maybe it’s the right
and colleagues and maybe it’s the right
and colleagues and maybe it’s the right time to lend your jacket to someone
time to lend your jacket to someone
time to lend your jacket to someone and if you are in a low point in your
and if you are in a low point in your
and if you are in a low point in your life please don’t keep it for yourself
life please don’t keep it for yourself
life please don’t keep it for yourself look around you look for your secure
look around you look for your secure
look around you look for your secure base and reach out to them because
base and reach out to them because
base and reach out to them because sometime all we need in life is a good
sometime all we need in life is a good
sometime all we need in life is a good friend and his jacket thank you very
friend and his jacket thank you very
friend and his jacket thank you very much
”
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