so a few months ago I read this article that spoke to me a lot
that spoke to me a lot
that spoke to me a lot it was Junot Diaz is mfa first people of
it was Junot Diaz is mfa first people of
it was Junot Diaz is mfa first people of color and in his piece he discusses how
color and in his piece he discusses how
color and in his piece he discusses how difficult it was for him to be a
difficult it was for him to be a
difficult it was for him to be a Dominican writer and an MFA program
Dominican writer and an MFA program
Dominican writer and an MFA program where authors and characters of color
where authors and characters of color
where authors and characters of color were given little space to exist right
were given little space to exist right
were given little space to exist right when he was an MFA student Diaz said
when he was an MFA student Diaz said
when he was an MFA student Diaz said that he had frequent thoughts of wanting
that he had frequent thoughts of wanting
that he had frequent thoughts of wanting to drop out but he didn’t because he
to drop out but he didn’t because he
to drop out but he didn’t because he found solidarity and other writers of
found solidarity and other writers of
found solidarity and other writers of color on campus who shared similar
color on campus who shared similar
color on campus who shared similar stories as him two decades later I found
stories as him two decades later I found
stories as him two decades later I found myself in a similar position as Diaz as
myself in a similar position as Diaz as
myself in a similar position as Diaz as an MFA student myself I can’t help but
an MFA student myself I can’t help but
an MFA student myself I can’t help but think about his article whenever I’m in
think about his article whenever I’m in
think about his article whenever I’m in class or wherever I’m on campus I also
class or wherever I’m on campus I also
class or wherever I’m on campus I also have friends who are writers of color
have friends who are writers of color
have friends who are writers of color that I depend on for everything from
that I depend on for everything from
that I depend on for everything from guidance to critical feedback but most
guidance to critical feedback but most
guidance to critical feedback but most importantly to remind me that my work
importantly to remind me that my work
importantly to remind me that my work matters in this MFA program that I go to
matters in this MFA program that I go to
matters in this MFA program that I go to seeing I to live in a colorless desert
seeing I to live in a colorless desert
seeing I to live in a colorless desert where I’ve given up seeing my reflection
where I’ve given up seeing my reflection
where I’ve given up seeing my reflection stories of black boys who are Martian
stories of black boys who are Martian
stories of black boys who are Martian and martyr unafraid to lead and be given
and martyr unafraid to lead and be given
and martyr unafraid to lead and be given lead stories of sons whom promise
lead stories of sons whom promise
lead stories of sons whom promise mothers a new house where each room
mothers a new house where each room
mothers a new house where each room echos the wet sound teeth make when
echos the wet sound teeth make when
echos the wet sound teeth make when baptized and smile I did not intend on
baptized and smile I did not intend on
baptized and smile I did not intend on becoming a zoo the bronze giraffe the
becoming a zoo the bronze giraffe the
becoming a zoo the bronze giraffe the token black child some white woman’s
token black child some white woman’s
token black child some white woman’s favorite souvenir from Africa to be
favorite souvenir from Africa to be
favorite souvenir from Africa to be displayed and held high like Simba
displayed and held high like Simba
displayed and held high like Simba nowadays I found myself saying I don’t
nowadays I found myself saying I don’t
nowadays I found myself saying I don’t want to be an MFA student anymore I
want to be an MFA student anymore I
want to be an MFA student anymore I think I could make for a pretty good
think I could make for a pretty good
think I could make for a pretty good stripper so pay me so pay me flood me
stripper so pay me so pay me flood me
stripper so pay me so pay me flood me with a tsunami of green paper every time
with a tsunami of green paper every time
with a tsunami of green paper every time I tucked my tongue like a dog’s tail for
I tucked my tongue like a dog’s tail for
I tucked my tongue like a dog’s tail for stripping away my voice every time I’m
stripping away my voice every time I’m
stripping away my voice every time I’m asked to not write about race I’m tired
asked to not write about race I’m tired
asked to not write about race I’m tired of blackness not being appreciated
of blackness not being appreciated
of blackness not being appreciated though our culture is appropriated on
though our culture is appropriated on
though our culture is appropriated on days I feel I’m migrating out of my own
days I feel I’m migrating out of my own
days I feel I’m migrating out of my own identity I seek refuge in the presence
identity I seek refuge in the presence
identity I seek refuge in the presence of black women because black women know
of black women because black women know
of black women because black women know the ministry of survival well because I
the ministry of survival well because I
the ministry of survival well because I watched my friend Lea read and become
watched my friend Lea read and become
watched my friend Lea read and become the epitome of black joy to an audience
the epitome of black joy to an audience
the epitome of black joy to an audience who never understand her magic how it
who never understand her magic how it
who never understand her magic how it makes white spaces breathable for a
makes white spaces breathable for a
makes white spaces breathable for a ated voices because black women never
ated voices because black women never
ated voices because black women never get the visibility that they deserve
get the visibility that they deserve
get the visibility that they deserve because i watched my mother grandmother
because i watched my mother grandmother
because i watched my mother grandmother and her mother to become sanctuaries to
and her mother to become sanctuaries to
and her mother to become sanctuaries to protect boys from becoming beasts you
protect boys from becoming beasts you
protect boys from becoming beasts you cannot have me you cannot call me yours
cannot have me you cannot call me yours
cannot have me you cannot call me yours I first did four books full of mirrors
I first did four books full of mirrors
I first did four books full of mirrors only to be given shards I cut my eyes
only to be given shards I cut my eyes
only to be given shards I cut my eyes trying to find my likeness and poems you
trying to find my likeness and poems you
trying to find my likeness and poems you provided maybe maybe being blind is
provided maybe maybe being blind is
provided maybe maybe being blind is better because at least here I could see
better because at least here I could see
better because at least here I could see all the color that you left out so I
all the color that you left out so I
all the color that you left out so I know today’s theme is about momentum but
know today’s theme is about momentum but
know today’s theme is about momentum but I believe before we can have a
I believe before we can have a
I believe before we can have a conversation about how to move forward
conversation about how to move forward
conversation about how to move forward we must first talk about reflection
we must first talk about reflection
we must first talk about reflection being able to see oneself in any given
being able to see oneself in any given
being able to see oneself in any given position so the question and the concern
position so the question and the concern
position so the question and the concern I have is how do we expect students to
I have is how do we expect students to
I have is how do we expect students to build momentum and imagine themselves
build momentum and imagine themselves
build momentum and imagine themselves becoming poets or lawyers or doctors if
becoming poets or lawyers or doctors if
becoming poets or lawyers or doctors if they’ve never been introduced to someone
they’ve never been introduced to someone
they’ve never been introduced to someone who looks like them in those positions I
who looks like them in those positions I
who looks like them in those positions I can understand my ideas felt hopeless
can understand my ideas felt hopeless
can understand my ideas felt hopeless like myself space wasn’t given to
like myself space wasn’t given to
like myself space wasn’t given to highlight narratives he could see
highlight narratives he could see
highlight narratives he could see himself in so before we can even talk
himself in so before we can even talk
himself in so before we can even talk about momentum we must understand how
about momentum we must understand how
about momentum we must understand how lack of representation is dangerous
lack of representation is dangerous
lack of representation is dangerous because it can limit the imagination to
because it can limit the imagination to
because it can limit the imagination to what we think we can become right I’ll
what we think we can become right I’ll
what we think we can become right I’ll be honest I hated poetry in high school
be honest I hated poetry in high school
be honest I hated poetry in high school I could never imagine myself becoming a
I could never imagine myself becoming a
I could never imagine myself becoming a poet in fact I didn’t even like reading
poet in fact I didn’t even like reading
poet in fact I didn’t even like reading it it was the worst John where I thought
it it was the worst John where I thought
it it was the worst John where I thought that could exist in English and yet
that could exist in English and yet
that could exist in English and yet somehow I became a poet and I don’t even
somehow I became a poet and I don’t even
somehow I became a poet and I don’t even know how that really works out maybe
know how that really works out maybe
know how that really works out maybe that’s for like another TED talk I don’t
that’s for like another TED talk I don’t
that’s for like another TED talk I don’t know but like Diaz has struggled because
know but like Diaz has struggled because
know but like Diaz has struggled because I couldn’t find a connection to the text
I couldn’t find a connection to the text
I couldn’t find a connection to the text I was given I remember reading poets
I was given I remember reading poets
I was given I remember reading poets like Robert Frost and Frost is a great
like Robert Frost and Frost is a great
like Robert Frost and Frost is a great poet but him and I see the world
poet but him and I see the world
poet but him and I see the world differently so how could I imagine
differently so how could I imagine
differently so how could I imagine becoming a poet if space wasn’t created
becoming a poet if space wasn’t created
becoming a poet if space wasn’t created for me to read stories that I could see
for me to read stories that I could see
for me to read stories that I could see myself in that was until I was
myself in that was until I was
myself in that was until I was introduced to James Baldwin a collection
introduced to James Baldwin a collection
introduced to James Baldwin a collection of his essays actually and from then
of his essays actually and from then
of his essays actually and from then from there you know my life changed
from there you know my life changed
from there you know my life changed finally a writer I could see parts of
finally a writer I could see parts of
finally a writer I could see parts of myself in like an unfinished mirror it
myself in like an unfinished mirror it
myself in like an unfinished mirror it was good enough for me
was good enough for me
was good enough for me how I got into spoken word was because I
how I got into spoken word was because I
how I got into spoken word was because I watched a lot of YouTube videos and I
watched a lot of YouTube videos and I
watched a lot of YouTube videos and I remember the first person I remember
remember the first person I remember
remember the first person I remember watching was Javon Johnson’s cuz he’s
watching was Javon Johnson’s cuz he’s
watching was Javon Johnson’s cuz he’s black his poem cuz he’s black and I
black his poem cuz he’s black and I
black his poem cuz he’s black and I remember crying and being upset because
remember crying and being upset because
remember crying and being upset because I too was tired of black boys being
I too was tired of black boys being
I too was tired of black boys being treated like criminals before they were
treated like criminals before they were
treated like criminals before they were even being treated like humans and
even being treated like humans and
even being treated like humans and Jevons poem had given me inspiration as
Jevons poem had given me inspiration as
Jevons poem had given me inspiration as well as momentum to write my own piece
well as momentum to write my own piece
well as momentum to write my own piece and I remember a few weeks later I would
and I remember a few weeks later I would
and I remember a few weeks later I would go to my first open mic and I put my
go to my first open mic and I put my
go to my first open mic and I put my name on the signup sheet and I remember
name on the signup sheet and I remember
name on the signup sheet and I remember that when the host called me on stage he
that when the host called me on stage he
that when the host called me on stage he was like now bringing to the stage
was like now bringing to the stage
was like now bringing to the stage Danny keeper that’s not how it went but
Danny keeper that’s not how it went but
Danny keeper that’s not how it went but in my mind I like to think it went that
in my mind I like to think it went that
in my mind I like to think it went that way but you know you get it and I
way but you know you get it and I
way but you know you get it and I remember I stood up and I paused and
remember I stood up and I paused and
remember I stood up and I paused and something in my mind was like no this
something in my mind was like no this
something in my mind was like no this ain’t you homie and I was member I
ain’t you homie and I was member I
ain’t you homie and I was member I looked at the audience and then I looked
looked at the audience and then I looked
looked at the audience and then I looked at the hosts and they were all looking
at the hosts and they were all looking
at the hosts and they were all looking at me and I just left I just I just
at me and I just left I just I just
at me and I just left I just I just rolled out I was like nope this isn’t
rolled out I was like nope this isn’t
rolled out I was like nope this isn’t for me I’ve rolled out I don’t have to
for me I’ve rolled out I don’t have to
for me I’ve rolled out I don’t have to venue without performing I left because
venue without performing I left because
venue without performing I left because I was afraid I was afraid because I had
I was afraid I was afraid because I had
I was afraid I was afraid because I had never been introduced to a space like
never been introduced to a space like
never been introduced to a space like that before so I couldn’t imagine myself
that before so I couldn’t imagine myself
that before so I couldn’t imagine myself existing in it I limited myself to what
existing in it I limited myself to what
existing in it I limited myself to what I thought I could become right the
I thought I could become right the
I thought I could become right the reason I named the title of my TED talk
reason I named the title of my TED talk
reason I named the title of my TED talk to be a kid again is because kids are
to be a kid again is because kids are
to be a kid again is because kids are not aware of limits so they dream
not aware of limits so they dream
not aware of limits so they dream fearlessly and you know that’s the
fearlessly and you know that’s the
fearlessly and you know that’s the beautiful thing about a child’s
beautiful thing about a child’s
beautiful thing about a child’s imagination is that they don’t see
imagination is that they don’t see
imagination is that they don’t see consequence they only see endless
consequence they only see endless
consequence they only see endless possibility and I’m sure we all have
possibility and I’m sure we all have
possibility and I’m sure we all have stories of doing something we thought
stories of doing something we thought
stories of doing something we thought was possible when we were kids and then
was possible when we were kids and then
was possible when we were kids and then it ended up not being possible and then
it ended up not being possible and then
it ended up not being possible and then we ended up getting our ass whooped for
we ended up getting our ass whooped for
we ended up getting our ass whooped for it you know see y’all guilty I’m you
it you know see y’all guilty I’m you
it you know see y’all guilty I’m you know I feel y’all and so you know the
know I feel y’all and so you know the
know I feel y’all and so you know the child’s imagination they don’t they
child’s imagination they don’t they
child’s imagination they don’t they don’t see the consequences of their
don’t see the consequences of their
don’t see the consequences of their actions they only see this possibility
actions they only see this possibility
actions they only see this possibility they their mind only knows how to move
they their mind only knows how to move
they their mind only knows how to move forward past what seems impossible and
forward past what seems impossible and
forward past what seems impossible and isn’t that a form of momentum so I knew
isn’t that a form of momentum so I knew
isn’t that a form of momentum so I knew that if I was going to become a poet it
that if I was going to become a poet it
that if I was going to become a poet it was gonna take more than momentum it was
was gonna take more than momentum it was
was gonna take more than momentum it was gonna take more than inspiration I was
gonna take more than inspiration I was
gonna take more than inspiration I was gonna have to also imagine myself
gonna have to also imagine myself
gonna have to also imagine myself becoming the poet that I want to become
becoming the poet that I want to become
becoming the poet that I want to become I create because I want my poems to
I create because I want my poems to
I create because I want my poems to serve as a fat as a flashlight for black
serve as a fat as a flashlight for black
serve as a fat as a flashlight for black youth
youth
youth a hard time seeing themselves become
a hard time seeing themselves become
a hard time seeing themselves become poets or writers in general I write
poets or writers in general I write
poets or writers in general I write because I want to be what Baldwin was
because I want to be what Baldwin was
because I want to be what Baldwin was for me a reflection an example of
for me a reflection an example of
for me a reflection an example of someone who didn’t let their limited
someone who didn’t let their limited
someone who didn’t let their limited imagination limit their future
imagination limit their future
imagination limit their future I do poetry because I want to create the
I do poetry because I want to create the
I do poetry because I want to create the world I want to live in one where my
world I want to live in one where my
world I want to live in one where my anxiety doesn’t limit my momentum from
anxiety doesn’t limit my momentum from
anxiety doesn’t limit my momentum from seeing how I’m a vessel of possibility
seeing how I’m a vessel of possibility
seeing how I’m a vessel of possibility one where I could imagine being anything
one where I could imagine being anything
one where I could imagine being anything outside of a hashtag one where students
outside of a hashtag one where students
outside of a hashtag one where students in Baltimore can identify what they’re
in Baltimore can identify what they’re
in Baltimore can identify what they’re reading and dream fearlessly and I know
reading and dream fearlessly and I know
reading and dream fearlessly and I know that when it comes to creating this
that when it comes to creating this
that when it comes to creating this world that I must be mindful of my
world that I must be mindful of my
world that I must be mindful of my decisions like Diaz is narrative as well
decisions like Diaz is narrative as well
decisions like Diaz is narrative as well as my own narrative you know we can see
as my own narrative you know we can see
as my own narrative you know we can see that within this bigger picture of
that within this bigger picture of
that within this bigger picture of things it’s so easy to just leave
things it’s so easy to just leave
things it’s so easy to just leave someone else’s voice out representation
someone else’s voice out representation
someone else’s voice out representation is important because it’s how we can see
is important because it’s how we can see
is important because it’s how we can see ourselves as kids becoming anything
ourselves as kids becoming anything
ourselves as kids becoming anything something my mom always told me growing
something my mom always told me growing
something my mom always told me growing up was that it’s not about you and I
up was that it’s not about you and I
up was that it’s not about you and I think that her actions reflect this
think that her actions reflect this
think that her actions reflect this message the most see if calloused hands
message the most see if calloused hands
message the most see if calloused hands could talk then they would speak of
could talk then they would speak of
could talk then they would speak of lifting dreams bigger than a child’s
lifting dreams bigger than a child’s
lifting dreams bigger than a child’s imagination and most of us don’t know
imagination and most of us don’t know
imagination and most of us don’t know what that’s like to carry endless weight
what that’s like to carry endless weight
what that’s like to carry endless weight on fingers too tired to carry even its
on fingers too tired to carry even its
on fingers too tired to carry even its own skin my mother knows a lot about
own skin my mother knows a lot about
own skin my mother knows a lot about this kind of loving her palms are
this kind of loving her palms are
this kind of loving her palms are rougher than bruce pavement her fists
rougher than bruce pavement her fists
rougher than bruce pavement her fists veterans in the art of ass walk will
veterans in the art of ass walk will
veterans in the art of ass walk will deliver more pounds than a Big Mac and
deliver more pounds than a Big Mac and
deliver more pounds than a Big Mac and always found ways to rise above a heavy
always found ways to rise above a heavy
always found ways to rise above a heavy day my mom is a small woman capable of
day my mom is a small woman capable of
day my mom is a small woman capable of big things when she cooks it looks like
big things when she cooks it looks like
big things when she cooks it looks like dancing the way she moves between
dancing the way she moves between
dancing the way she moves between counter tops only taking about to check
counter tops only taking about to check
counter tops only taking about to check the oven y’all I swear she never misses
the oven y’all I swear she never misses
the oven y’all I swear she never misses a beat even after we suffered two home
a beat even after we suffered two home
a beat even after we suffered two home foreclosures there wasn’t a day where I
foreclosures there wasn’t a day where I
foreclosures there wasn’t a day where I went hungry because my mother is a
went hungry because my mother is a
went hungry because my mother is a ghetto Alchemist making temporary things
ghetto Alchemist making temporary things
ghetto Alchemist making temporary things stretch infinitely like the horizon she
stretch infinitely like the horizon she
stretch infinitely like the horizon she doesn’t get much praise for raising
doesn’t get much praise for raising
doesn’t get much praise for raising three sons an unsung hero with crystal
three sons an unsung hero with crystal
three sons an unsung hero with crystal gems four knuckles she is a hidden pearl
gems four knuckles she is a hidden pearl
gems four knuckles she is a hidden pearl hard like garnet with a purple heart
hard like garnet with a purple heart
hard like garnet with a purple heart like amethyst able to have stand
like amethyst able to have stand
like amethyst able to have stand whatever the universe throws her way how
whatever the universe throws her way how
whatever the universe throws her way how rough it must be to be a jewel
rough it must be to be a jewel
rough it must be to be a jewel in the form of a black woman but mom is
in the form of a black woman but mom is
in the form of a black woman but mom is the best at safety good and intercepting
the best at safety good and intercepting
the best at safety good and intercepting catastrophes she has never been Allstate
catastrophes she has never been Allstate
catastrophes she has never been Allstate but I swear she got good hands
but I swear she got good hands
but I swear she got good hands always open to receive the world’s worst
always open to receive the world’s worst
always open to receive the world’s worst to ensure my protection sometimes
to ensure my protection sometimes
to ensure my protection sometimes calling her mom feels like an accident
calling her mom feels like an accident
calling her mom feels like an accident God be a better name to describe someone
God be a better name to describe someone
God be a better name to describe someone with such divine strength and I spent my
with such divine strength and I spent my
with such divine strength and I spent my years trying to repay her but what good
years trying to repay her but what good
years trying to repay her but what good is giving a watch on Mother’s Day gift I
is giving a watch on Mother’s Day gift I
is giving a watch on Mother’s Day gift I can’t give her time back to go to
can’t give her time back to go to
can’t give her time back to go to college she craves the degree the same
college she craves the degree the same
college she craves the degree the same way Olympians desire medals to feel
way Olympians desire medals to feel
way Olympians desire medals to feel accomplished in my hands they cannot
accomplished in my hands they cannot
accomplished in my hands they cannot give like hers they cannot do the
give like hers they cannot do the
give like hers they cannot do the impossible I’m sure to her sacrificing
impossible I’m sure to her sacrificing
impossible I’m sure to her sacrificing parts of yourself looks a lot like love
parts of yourself looks a lot like love
parts of yourself looks a lot like love but to me it looks like torture as she
but to me it looks like torture as she
but to me it looks like torture as she wonders well I’m too scared to ask for
wonders well I’m too scared to ask for
wonders well I’m too scared to ask for help and it’s because I want her to have
help and it’s because I want her to have
help and it’s because I want her to have enough love left over for herself but
enough love left over for herself but
enough love left over for herself but how do you convince the hand that feeds
how do you convince the hand that feeds
how do you convince the hand that feeds you to stop caring so much my mother’s
you to stop caring so much my mother’s
you to stop caring so much my mother’s dreams are a collage of Magazine
dreams are a collage of Magazine
dreams are a collage of Magazine pictures she is deserving of more than
pictures she is deserving of more than
pictures she is deserving of more than the finer things life has to offer most
the finer things life has to offer most
the finer things life has to offer most days I wish I could find another way to
days I wish I could find another way to
days I wish I could find another way to say thank you to say you are deserving
say thank you to say you are deserving
say thank you to say you are deserving of everything and more but for now all I
of everything and more but for now all I
of everything and more but for now all I have to give her this poem so that since
have to give her this poem so that since
have to give her this poem so that since I was little my mom had always dreamed
I was little my mom had always dreamed
I was little my mom had always dreamed about going to college and I believed
about going to college and I believed
about going to college and I believed what stopped her momentum was having to
what stopped her momentum was having to
what stopped her momentum was having to raise three sons so I’ll end with this
raise three sons so I’ll end with this
raise three sons so I’ll end with this I’m extremely proud to say that my mom
I’m extremely proud to say that my mom
I’m extremely proud to say that my mom is now enrolled in Community College and
is now enrolled in Community College and
is now enrolled in Community College and I think think that what pushed her was
I think think that what pushed her was
I think think that what pushed her was seeing me graduate in the spring and
seeing me graduate in the spring and
seeing me graduate in the spring and seeing my brother getting ready to
seeing my brother getting ready to
seeing my brother getting ready to graduate this fall you know what’s a
graduate this fall you know what’s a
graduate this fall you know what’s a better reflection than your own blood I
better reflection than your own blood I
better reflection than your own blood I think through us she realized that she
think through us she realized that she
think through us she realized that she didn’t have to limit her momentum or her
didn’t have to limit her momentum or her
didn’t have to limit her momentum or her dreams and that it was impossible for
dreams and that it was impossible for
dreams and that it was impossible for her to become anything that she wants to
her to become anything that she wants to
her to become anything that she wants to become so all of that is to say it’s
become so all of that is to say it’s
become so all of that is to say it’s never too late to dream fearlessly
never too late to dream fearlessly
never too late to dream fearlessly see the possibility not the limits and
see the possibility not the limits and
see the possibility not the limits and cherish the narratives that you do see
cherish the narratives that you do see
cherish the narratives that you do see yourself in and then build space for
yourself in and then build space for
yourself in and then build space for others to do the same thank you
”
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