we are born illiterate no way of expressing ourselves only wordless cries
expressing ourselves only wordless cries
expressing ourselves only wordless cries and we are born without ego neuroscience
and we are born without ego neuroscience
and we are born without ego neuroscience tells us that in those first moments we
tells us that in those first moments we
tells us that in those first moments we literally have no sense of self separate
literally have no sense of self separate
literally have no sense of self separate from the rest of the world
from the rest of the world
from the rest of the world no sense of where I end and you begin
no sense of where I end and you begin
no sense of where I end and you begin later we learn a few letters we connect
later we learn a few letters we connect
later we learn a few letters we connect them to make our name and to build ideas
them to make our name and to build ideas
them to make our name and to build ideas and we form beliefs about how much we
and we form beliefs about how much we
and we form beliefs about how much we matter
matter
matter some of us decide that we matter very
some of us decide that we matter very
some of us decide that we matter very much indeed others not so much after 20
much indeed others not so much after 20
much indeed others not so much after 20 years as a writer trainer and content
years as a writer trainer and content
years as a writer trainer and content strategist I’ve realized that ego is
strategist I’ve realized that ego is
strategist I’ve realized that ego is what ties together the two extremes
what ties together the two extremes
what ties together the two extremes there are self-important speeches of
there are self-important speeches of
there are self-important speeches of people in power and a struggle that
people in power and a struggle that
people in power and a struggle that others face with self-doubt when they
others face with self-doubt when they
others face with self-doubt when they try to write I’m going to explore how
try to write I’m going to explore how
try to write I’m going to explore how that plays out in two domains when we
that plays out in two domains when we
that plays out in two domains when we write about something personal and then
write about something personal and then
write about something personal and then when we write at work we’ll start with
when we write at work we’ll start with
when we write at work we’ll start with the personal have you ever found
the personal have you ever found
the personal have you ever found yourself staring at a blank page and the
yourself staring at a blank page and the
yourself staring at a blank page and the page is staring back did the page win I
page is staring back did the page win I
page is staring back did the page win I know it’s like because in my 20s I
know it’s like because in my 20s I
know it’s like because in my 20s I studied creative writing I had nine
studied creative writing I had nine
studied creative writing I had nine months to write part of a novel and I’d
months to write part of a novel and I’d
months to write part of a novel and I’d write a Spock for seven of them so every
write a Spock for seven of them so every
write a Spock for seven of them so every morning I’d sit down to write and the
morning I’d sit down to write and the
morning I’d sit down to write and the fear would be waiting for me so I’d
fear would be waiting for me so I’d
fear would be waiting for me so I’d write blindly try to outrun it and then
write blindly try to outrun it and then
write blindly try to outrun it and then in the afternoon I’d come back and read
in the afternoon I’d come back and read
in the afternoon I’d come back and read what I’d done and it wasn’t just that I
what I’d done and it wasn’t just that I
what I’d done and it wasn’t just that I hated it I genuinely couldn’t tell if it
hated it I genuinely couldn’t tell if it
hated it I genuinely couldn’t tell if it was any good or not I had no purpose to
was any good or not I had no purpose to
was any good or not I had no purpose to guide me it was like walking to a
guide me it was like walking to a
guide me it was like walking to a snowstorm without a compass somehow I
snowstorm without a compass somehow I
snowstorm without a compass somehow I made it through to the other side I got
made it through to the other side I got
made it through to the other side I got my degree but I never finished that
my degree but I never finished that
my degree but I never finished that novel what happened the last time you
novel what happened the last time you
novel what happened the last time you ran headlong into self-doubt so many of
ran headlong into self-doubt so many of
ran headlong into self-doubt so many of us just give up or he never even start
us just give up or he never even start
us just give up or he never even start but self-doubt is a black hole it
but self-doubt is a black hole it
but self-doubt is a black hole it captures our creativity and pulls us
captures our creativity and pulls us
captures our creativity and pulls us back into itself into a place where no
back into itself into a place where no
back into itself into a place where no light escapes
light escapes
light escapes but when self-doubt wins society loses
but when self-doubt wins society loses
but when self-doubt wins society loses blogs aren’t written papers aren’t
blogs aren’t written papers aren’t
blogs aren’t written papers aren’t published instead the voices that do
published instead the voices that do
published instead the voices that do reach us belong to people with galaxy
reach us belong to people with galaxy
reach us belong to people with galaxy science reserves to self-confidence so
science reserves to self-confidence so
science reserves to self-confidence so what do we do so we try to fill up the
what do we do so we try to fill up the
what do we do so we try to fill up the black hole with affirmations to take
black hole with affirmations to take
black hole with affirmations to take what I didn’t see I’m a terrible writer
what I didn’t see I’m a terrible writer
what I didn’t see I’m a terrible writer I replace it with another identity I’m
I replace it with another identity I’m
I replace it with another identity I’m an absolutely phenomenal writer that’s
an absolutely phenomenal writer that’s
an absolutely phenomenal writer that’s not it Kurt Vonnegut once said when I
not it Kurt Vonnegut once said when I
not it Kurt Vonnegut once said when I write I feel like an armless legless man
write I feel like an armless legless man
write I feel like an armless legless man with a crown in his mouth this is the
with a crown in his mouth this is the
with a crown in his mouth this is the Kurt Vonnegut who wrote 40 novels three
Kurt Vonnegut who wrote 40 novels three
Kurt Vonnegut who wrote 40 novels three short story collections and five plays
short story collections and five plays
short story collections and five plays so his experience shows us that writing
so his experience shows us that writing
so his experience shows us that writing everyday doesn’t make you immune from
everyday doesn’t make you immune from
everyday doesn’t make you immune from self-doubt just means that you run up
self-doubt just means that you run up
self-doubt just means that you run up against it harder and more often two
against it harder and more often two
against it harder and more often two years ago I sat down to write another
years ago I sat down to write another
years ago I sat down to write another book this time a guide to leave in a
book this time a guide to leave in a
book this time a guide to leave in a public service and starting her own
public service and starting her own
public service and starting her own business and this time I finished it
business and this time I finished it
business and this time I finished it here’s how I did it I got over myself
here’s how I did it I got over myself
here’s how I did it I got over myself see I realized that back then when I was
see I realized that back then when I was
see I realized that back then when I was all caught up in self-doubt I was making
all caught up in self-doubt I was making
all caught up in self-doubt I was making it all about me I needed a reason to
it all about me I needed a reason to
it all about me I needed a reason to write that I cared about more than my
write that I cared about more than my
write that I cared about more than my ego and for me it was to write the book
ego and for me it was to write the book
ego and for me it was to write the book that I wished I’d had back when I was
that I wished I’d had back when I was
that I wished I’d had back when I was leaving government starting a business
leaving government starting a business
leaving government starting a business and had absolutely no idea what I was
and had absolutely no idea what I was
and had absolutely no idea what I was doing see I’ve realized that the less I
doing see I’ve realized that the less I
doing see I’ve realized that the less I care about what I think about my
care about what I think about my
care about what I think about my capabilities as a writer the more
capabilities as a writer the more
capabilities as a writer the more freedom I gain to do great work we need
freedom I gain to do great work we need
freedom I gain to do great work we need to stop labeling ourselves with
to stop labeling ourselves with
to stop labeling ourselves with identities like I’m a bad writer we need
identities like I’m a bad writer we need
identities like I’m a bad writer we need to stop thinking about writing as
to stop thinking about writing as
to stop thinking about writing as something we are instead we need to
something we are instead we need to
something we are instead we need to think of it as something we do a set of
think of it as something we do a set of
think of it as something we do a set of behaviors connected to a purpose I
behaviors connected to a purpose I
behaviors connected to a purpose I didn’t learn to drive until pretty late
didn’t learn to drive until pretty late
didn’t learn to drive until pretty late I’m right up until my 30s bikes and
I’m right up until my 30s bikes and
I’m right up until my 30s bikes and buses and sponging lifts off friends had
buses and sponging lifts off friends had
buses and sponging lifts off friends had worked pretty well for me and then my
worked pretty well for me and then my
worked pretty well for me and then my wife fell pregnant so catching a bus to
wife fell pregnant so catching a bus to
wife fell pregnant so catching a bus to the hospital with a wife in labor was an
the hospital with a wife in labor was an
the hospital with a wife in labor was an option so now I had a reason to change
option so now I had a reason to change
option so now I had a reason to change but if I told myself I’m not a driver
but if I told myself I’m not a driver
but if I told myself I’m not a driver then I never would have gone anywhere so
then I never would have gone anywhere so
then I never would have gone anywhere so instead I treated driving as a behavior
instead I treated driving as a behavior
instead I treated driving as a behavior I broke it up
I broke it up
I broke it up steering parking changing gears and I
steering parking changing gears and I
steering parking changing gears and I practiced each one the day of a test
practiced each one the day of a test
practiced each one the day of a test came it was also a day that my wife was
came it was also a day that my wife was
came it was also a day that my wife was June so a crotchety old instructor and I
June so a crotchety old instructor and I
June so a crotchety old instructor and I drove around the back streets of Targa
drove around the back streets of Targa
drove around the back streets of Targa Nong him with his clipboard me with
Nong him with his clipboard me with
Nong him with his clipboard me with sweaty palms on the wheel
sweaty palms on the wheel
sweaty palms on the wheel I may have ground the gears I may have
I may have ground the gears I may have
I may have ground the gears I may have fun to curb once or twice anyway so we
fun to curb once or twice anyway so we
fun to curb once or twice anyway so we wound up back at the motor vehicle
wound up back at the motor vehicle
wound up back at the motor vehicle office and the instructor heaved himself
office and the instructor heaved himself
office and the instructor heaved himself out of the car well he said I suppose
out of the car well he said I suppose
out of the car well he said I suppose that I’ll do I passed
that I’ll do I passed
that I’ll do I passed see I didn’t need to become an ace rally
see I didn’t need to become an ace rally
see I didn’t need to become an ace rally car driver to drive I just needed to be
car driver to drive I just needed to be
car driver to drive I just needed to be good enough to get life to the hospital
good enough to get life to the hospital
good enough to get life to the hospital two days later so driving wasn’t about
two days later so driving wasn’t about
two days later so driving wasn’t about my identity it was a service that I
my identity it was a service that I
my identity it was a service that I performed for others let’s go to work
performed for others let’s go to work
performed for others let’s go to work riding at work is a blood sport by time
riding at work is a blood sport by time
riding at work is a blood sport by time your draft has been reviewed by the
your draft has been reviewed by the
your draft has been reviewed by the manager and their managers manager very
manager and their managers manager very
manager and their managers manager very little riding makes it out alive instead
little riding makes it out alive instead
little riding makes it out alive instead what’s left is stuff like this the
what’s left is stuff like this the
what’s left is stuff like this the department’s commute to the provision of
department’s commute to the provision of
department’s commute to the provision of employment services to assist trans to
employment services to assist trans to
employment services to assist trans to participate in the employment market why
participate in the employment market why
participate in the employment market why do we inflict this stuff on each other
well when I work with organizations and
well when I work with organizations and scratch beneath the surface you run into
scratch beneath the surface you run into
scratch beneath the surface you run into this desperate fear I’ve not been taken
this desperate fear I’ve not been taken
this desperate fear I’ve not been taken seriously and that fear makes us care
seriously and that fear makes us care
seriously and that fear makes us care for ourselves plays out differently so I
for ourselves plays out differently so I
for ourselves plays out differently so I work with academics who are terrified of
work with academics who are terrified of
work with academics who are terrified of other academics because the one bit of
other academics because the one bit of
other academics because the one bit of information that they leave out is the
information that they leave out is the
information that they leave out is the one thing that the other academics will
one thing that the other academics will
one thing that the other academics will use to tear their work to shreds and I
use to tear their work to shreds and I
use to tear their work to shreds and I meet business owners and marketers who
meet business owners and marketers who
meet business owners and marketers who are terrified of being drowned out by
are terrified of being drowned out by
are terrified of being drowned out by the competition so they feel like their
the competition so they feel like their
the competition so they feel like their only options to shout louder to big note
only options to shout louder to big note
only options to shout louder to big note themselves and I meet public servants
themselves and I meet public servants
themselves and I meet public servants who are terrified of having their work
who are terrified of having their work
who are terrified of having their work sent back down to them covered in red
sent back down to them covered in red
sent back down to them covered in red pen because it doesn’t sound public
pen because it doesn’t sound public
pen because it doesn’t sound public service enough and that’s why the
service enough and that’s why the
service enough and that’s why the writing that comes out of government is
writing that comes out of government is
writing that comes out of government is a gray wall between them and the outside
a gray wall between them and the outside
a gray wall between them and the outside world but this time it’s not just about
world but this time it’s not just about
world but this time it’s not just about personal fear even personal skill and
personal fear even personal skill and
personal fear even personal skill and that’s because the place we work has an
that’s because the place we work has an
that’s because the place we work has an ego of its own a tendency to put itself
ego of its own a tendency to put itself
ego of its own a tendency to put itself at the center of the conversation that
at the center of the conversation that
at the center of the conversation that forms a culture of writing and that
forms a culture of writing and that
forms a culture of writing and that culture is holding our pen when we write
culture is holding our pen when we write
culture is holding our pen when we write a draft and it’s breathing down our
a draft and it’s breathing down our
a draft and it’s breathing down our necks when we review what someone else
necks when we review what someone else
necks when we review what someone else has done and decide if it passes
has done and decide if it passes
has done and decide if it passes standard so what should we do well at
standard so what should we do well at
standard so what should we do well at some point you’ll have heard that you
some point you’ll have heard that you
some point you’ll have heard that you should write for your audience find that
should write for your audience find that
should write for your audience find that you that you want to reach and just
you that you want to reach and just
you that you want to reach and just write with them in mind I wish it was
write with them in mind I wish it was
write with them in mind I wish it was that easy I was twenty five in the final
that easy I was twenty five in the final
that easy I was twenty five in the final stages of a relationship I thought I had
stages of a relationship I thought I had
stages of a relationship I thought I had a pretty good idea of what our issues
a pretty good idea of what our issues
a pretty good idea of what our issues were and how to solve them
were and how to solve them
were and how to solve them so I drew my girlfriend a diagram and
so I drew my girlfriend a diagram and
so I drew my girlfriend a diagram and arrows and everything it made perfect
arrows and everything it made perfect
arrows and everything it made perfect sense to me it didn’t make sense to her
sense to me it didn’t make sense to her
sense to me it didn’t make sense to her my diagram wasn’t enough to save our
my diagram wasn’t enough to save our
my diagram wasn’t enough to save our relationship now whether you’re a 25
relationship now whether you’re a 25
relationship now whether you’re a 25 year old male it takes himself a little
year old male it takes himself a little
year old male it takes himself a little bit too seriously or a massive
bit too seriously or a massive
bit too seriously or a massive government department that takes itself
government department that takes itself
government department that takes itself a little bit too seriously the same
a little bit too seriously the same
a little bit too seriously the same tendency is there to project ourselves
tendency is there to project ourselves
tendency is there to project ourselves outwards one for people we’re trying to
outwards one for people we’re trying to
outwards one for people we’re trying to reach to think that they see the world
reach to think that they see the world
reach to think that they see the world as we see it that they speak her
as we see it that they speak her
as we see it that they speak her language
language
language psychologists call us bias the curse of
psychologists call us bias the curse of
psychologists call us bias the curse of knowledge and here’s the kicker
knowledge and here’s the kicker
knowledge and here’s the kicker the research also shows that we think
the research also shows that we think
the research also shows that we think it’s our bias other people have we think
it’s our bias other people have we think
it’s our bias other people have we think we’re immune and I know this because I
we’re immune and I know this because I
we’re immune and I know this because I used to think that as a writer I was
used to think that as a writer I was
used to think that as a writer I was gifted with a mystical insight directly
gifted with a mystical insight directly
gifted with a mystical insight directly into other people’s minds then I
into other people’s minds then I
into other people’s minds then I discovered user experience research or
discovered user experience research or
discovered user experience research or UX for short what it boils down to is
UX for short what it boils down to is
UX for short what it boils down to is this actually listening going out
this actually listening going out
this actually listening going out meeting the people who are trying to
meeting the people who are trying to
meeting the people who are trying to reach learning their language and
reach learning their language and
reach learning their language and letting them tell us what they need
letting them tell us what they need
letting them tell us what they need because sustain it for our writing is
because sustain it for our writing is
because sustain it for our writing is not does it make sense to us but does it
not does it make sense to us but does it
not does it make sense to us but does it make sense to them now this is going to
make sense to them now this is going to
make sense to them now this is going to be massively challenging because it
be massively challenging because it
be massively challenging because it means changing an organization’s whole
means changing an organization’s whole
means changing an organization’s whole culture of writing and that culture over
culture of writing and that culture over
culture of writing and that culture over the years is built on habits that make
the years is built on habits that make
the years is built on habits that make us feel safe and important so I do it
us feel safe and important so I do it
us feel safe and important so I do it well when we let go of our assumptions
well when we let go of our assumptions
well when we let go of our assumptions when we strip away the pretense and the
when we strip away the pretense and the
when we strip away the pretense and the defensiveness the writing that emerges
defensiveness the writing that emerges
defensiveness the writing that emerges is interesting vital and human and for
is interesting vital and human and for
is interesting vital and human and for ourselves we discover this satisfaction
ourselves we discover this satisfaction
ourselves we discover this satisfaction of being useful writing is an active
of being useful writing is an active
of being useful writing is an active service
”
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