I came here as myself I don’t have anything else to show you but Who I am
anything else to show you but Who I am
anything else to show you but Who I am and who I’m thriving to become
and who I’m thriving to become
and who I’m thriving to become insha’Allah so as of this is what I’m
insha’Allah so as of this is what I’m
insha’Allah so as of this is what I’m known as hadiza deva blue but i’m
known as hadiza deva blue but i’m
known as hadiza deva blue but i’m currently hadiza Oulu formerly hadees’
currently hadiza Oulu formerly hadees’
currently hadiza Oulu formerly hadees’ out there and popularly known as diva i
was very scared coming here to talk
was very scared coming here to talk because all I know how to do is sing I
because all I know how to do is sing I
because all I know how to do is sing I don’t really talk much I don’t talk much
don’t really talk much I don’t talk much
don’t really talk much I don’t talk much about myself I’m sure most people that
about myself I’m sure most people that
about myself I’m sure most people that have heard what I’m doing mostly always
have heard what I’m doing mostly always
have heard what I’m doing mostly always asking when did she do this one but I
asking when did she do this one but I
asking when did she do this one but I can only tell you that I’m here today to
can only tell you that I’m here today to
can only tell you that I’m here today to talk about Who I am and who I was
talk about Who I am and who I was
talk about Who I am and who I was thought out to be or become and who I’m
thought out to be or become and who I’m
thought out to be or become and who I’m currently becoming I grew up in Kaduna
currently becoming I grew up in Kaduna
currently becoming I grew up in Kaduna cities yeah I come from a family of two
cities yeah I come from a family of two
cities yeah I come from a family of two myself and my brother and I had a very
myself and my brother and I had a very
myself and my brother and I had a very strict mother my mom is from Zarya born
strict mother my mom is from Zarya born
strict mother my mom is from Zarya born in canoe so my mom is Hausa
in canoe so my mom is Hausa
in canoe so my mom is Hausa and my dad is sorello nian I am
and my dad is sorello nian I am
and my dad is sorello nian I am constantly searching for who I am
constantly searching for who I am
constantly searching for who I am because I come from a place where we are
because I come from a place where we are
because I come from a place where we are constantly defining somebody is telling
constantly defining somebody is telling
constantly defining somebody is telling you who you are constantly it’s not
you who you are constantly it’s not
you who you are constantly it’s not necessarily that they’re trying to do
necessarily that they’re trying to do
necessarily that they’re trying to do this further they can put you down or
this further they can put you down or
this further they can put you down or bring you down this is what we’ve known
bring you down this is what we’ve known
bring you down this is what we’ve known these are traditional these are
these are traditional these are
these are traditional these are traditions these are cultures these are
traditions these are cultures these are
traditions these are cultures these are things passed on from generations to
things passed on from generations to
things passed on from generations to generations and it gets to a point where
generations and it gets to a point where
generations and it gets to a point where it gets to our generation and I like
it gets to our generation and I like
it gets to our generation and I like please know what ia telling me which one
please know what ia telling me which one
please know what ia telling me which one is this one again today you know those
is this one again today you know those
is this one again today you know those kind of things like we’re constantly
kind of things like we’re constantly
kind of things like we’re constantly moving back and forth with you know our
moving back and forth with you know our
moving back and forth with you know our parents
parents
parents and not even realizing that our mothers
and not even realizing that our mothers
and not even realizing that our mothers and our fathers do have their own
and our fathers do have their own
and our fathers do have their own stories that they probably keep away
stories that they probably keep away
stories that they probably keep away from us so that we could think that life
from us so that we could think that life
from us so that we could think that life is so rosy I wanted to first start from
is so rosy I wanted to first start from
is so rosy I wanted to first start from where I started from
where I started from
where I started from and this is somewhere in Java Road in
and this is somewhere in Java Road in
and this is somewhere in Java Road in Kaduna State and to this today I don’t
Kaduna State and to this today I don’t
Kaduna State and to this today I don’t really believe that this is Who I am
really believe that this is Who I am
really believe that this is Who I am today because I’m constantly
today because I’m constantly
today because I’m constantly metamorphosizing like I literally just
metamorphosizing like I literally just
metamorphosizing like I literally just I’ve had a baby about a year ago and it
I’ve had a baby about a year ago and it
I’ve had a baby about a year ago and it has completely changed who I thought I
has completely changed who I thought I
has completely changed who I thought I was and has made me appreciate who my
was and has made me appreciate who my
was and has made me appreciate who my mother was trying to make me become one
mother was trying to make me become one
mother was trying to make me become one of my ways of probably expressing myself
of my ways of probably expressing myself
of my ways of probably expressing myself came out through music this is not
came out through music this is not
came out through music this is not something that is very common where I
something that is very common where I
something that is very common where I come from or where any most of us come
come from or where any most of us come
come from or where any most of us come from we are seen as you know we have
from we are seen as you know we have
from we are seen as you know we have certain roles we have certain images we
certain roles we have certain images we
certain roles we have certain images we have certain kinds of ways we have to be
have certain kinds of ways we have to be
have certain kinds of ways we have to be in order to be accepted in our society
in order to be accepted in our society
in order to be accepted in our society and this isn’t like I said I’m not here
and this isn’t like I said I’m not here
and this isn’t like I said I’m not here to tell you that these things are bad
to tell you that these things are bad
to tell you that these things are bad that they’ve told us because truthfully
that they’ve told us because truthfully
that they’ve told us because truthfully there are things that I’m learning now
there are things that I’m learning now
there are things that I’m learning now that I’m using now that I have my own
that I’m using now that I have my own
that I’m using now that I have my own family and but music was always a way of
family and but music was always a way of
family and but music was always a way of sort of escaping or saying the things
sort of escaping or saying the things
sort of escaping or saying the things that I probably couldn’t see in real
that I probably couldn’t see in real
that I probably couldn’t see in real life and saying you know I’m not talking
life and saying you know I’m not talking
life and saying you know I’m not talking about myself I could be anybody else
about myself I could be anybody else
about myself I could be anybody else this story it’s not really about me you
this story it’s not really about me you
this story it’s not really about me you know I was always finding ways to become
know I was always finding ways to become
know I was always finding ways to become the person that everybody expected me to
the person that everybody expected me to
the person that everybody expected me to be as I came up here I’m sure that first
be as I came up here I’m sure that first
be as I came up here I’m sure that first thing everybody expected me probably
thing everybody expected me probably
thing everybody expected me probably wants to sing something I don’t really
wants to sing something I don’t really
wants to sing something I don’t really talk much but I decided I’ll try talking
talk much but I decided I’ll try talking
talk much but I decided I’ll try talking being diva hasn’t been very easy not
being diva hasn’t been very easy not
being diva hasn’t been very easy not because it can’t but because I’ve had
because it can’t but because I’ve had
because it can’t but because I’ve had many many hats to wear I’ve literally
many many hats to wear I’ve literally
many many hats to wear I’ve literally had many people to please along the way
had many people to please along the way
had many people to please along the way so as not to offend anybody this again
so as not to offend anybody this again
so as not to offend anybody this again has nothing to do with trying to fight
has nothing to do with trying to fight
has nothing to do with trying to fight the status quo or trying to say that
the status quo or trying to say that
the status quo or trying to say that what we were taught is completely wrong
what we were taught is completely wrong
what we were taught is completely wrong because it’s not like I said these are
because it’s not like I said these are
because it’s not like I said these are cultural traditions that now that we in
cultural traditions that now that we in
cultural traditions that now that we in a different generation
a different generation
a different generation you know maybe more people have more of
you know maybe more people have more of
you know maybe more people have more of if I say guts to self-awareness or
if I say guts to self-awareness or
if I say guts to self-awareness or self-worth or trying to express who they
self-worth or trying to express who they
self-worth or trying to express who they are through things like pictures that’s
are through things like pictures that’s
are through things like pictures that’s why pictures is what I pick today
why pictures is what I pick today
why pictures is what I pick today because this is how we see the world
because this is how we see the world
because this is how we see the world today I mean the reason why I know this
today I mean the reason why I know this
today I mean the reason why I know this is because many times I’ve got in too
is because many times I’ve got in too
is because many times I’ve got in too many arguments with calling somebody and
many arguments with calling somebody and
many arguments with calling somebody and everything and I got a job but it’s not
everything and I got a job but it’s not
everything and I got a job but it’s not Posner happy but things change and this
Posner happy but things change and this
Posner happy but things change and this is why Who I am
is why Who I am
is why Who I am changes every time because the world is
changes every time because the world is
changes every time because the world is changing and we’re almost adapting to
changing and we’re almost adapting to
changing and we’re almost adapting to every change that comes along the way
every change that comes along the way
every change that comes along the way but still we owe it to our cultures and
but still we owe it to our cultures and
but still we owe it to our cultures and our traditions to stay in a certain kind
our traditions to stay in a certain kind
our traditions to stay in a certain kind of way so that we don’t break boundaries
of way so that we don’t break boundaries
of way so that we don’t break boundaries or we don’t disrespect anyone I came
or we don’t disrespect anyone I came
or we don’t disrespect anyone I came here to say first and foremost we are
here to say first and foremost we are
here to say first and foremost we are sorry to our mothers and our fathers
sorry to our mothers and our fathers
sorry to our mothers and our fathers because we do certain things most times
because we do certain things most times
because we do certain things most times thinking we know better
thinking we know better
thinking we know better most times we are learning but we have a
most times we are learning but we have a
most times we are learning but we have a communication problem and a
communication problem and a
communication problem and a communication breakdown and I learned
communication breakdown and I learned
communication breakdown and I learned through this was because I started my
through this was because I started my
through this was because I started my own family as well so again I said my
own family as well so again I said my
own family as well so again I said my background started in Kaduna and I was
background started in Kaduna and I was
background started in Kaduna and I was really raised by a very eccentric family
really raised by a very eccentric family
really raised by a very eccentric family I mean I was raised with a Muslim
I mean I was raised with a Muslim
I mean I was raised with a Muslim background my faith is Islam and I am
background my faith is Islam and I am
background my faith is Islam and I am doing something totally outside of what
doing something totally outside of what
doing something totally outside of what is quote unquote written for me but just
is quote unquote written for me but just
is quote unquote written for me but just like I wanted to start this was with a
like I wanted to start this was with a
like I wanted to start this was with a song called case there are Sarah which
song called case there are Sarah which
song called case there are Sarah which is whatever would be would be regardless
is whatever would be would be regardless
is whatever would be would be regardless of the circular part of where this song
of the circular part of where this song
of the circular part of where this song comes from by you know relevance thing
comes from by you know relevance thing
comes from by you know relevance thing even in our books even in our holy books
even in our books even in our holy books
even in our books even in our holy books everything we want to believe that it is
everything we want to believe that it is
everything we want to believe that it is written and what will be will be so I
written and what will be will be so I
written and what will be will be so I used to always try to argue and say but
used to always try to argue and say but
used to always try to argue and say but if if I’m already like this and and and
if if I’m already like this and and and
if if I’m already like this and and and you’re not listening that means I’m
you’re not listening that means I’m
you’re not listening that means I’m supposed to be like this and you know
supposed to be like this and you know
supposed to be like this and you know constantly my mom is arguing fighting
constantly my mom is arguing fighting
constantly my mom is arguing fighting with me and telling me you should be you
with me and telling me you should be you
with me and telling me you should be you should you know you should you should
should you know you should you should
should you know you should you should know answer me back and these are things
know answer me back and these are things
know answer me back and these are things that she’s doing not because she was
that she’s doing not because she was
that she’s doing not because she was trying to put me down but now that I
trying to put me down but now that I
trying to put me down but now that I mean where I’m living this life that I
mean where I’m living this life that I
mean where I’m living this life that I have quote unquote chose for myself
have quote unquote chose for myself
have quote unquote chose for myself I’m seeing with some of these lessons
I’m seeing with some of these lessons
I’m seeing with some of these lessons make sense you don’t always talk really
make sense you don’t always talk really
make sense you don’t always talk really fast because you can you know shoot
fast because you can you know shoot
fast because you can you know shoot yourself in the foot so you have to keep
yourself in the foot so you have to keep
yourself in the foot so you have to keep quiet first and listen to all the facts
quiet first and listen to all the facts
quiet first and listen to all the facts on all the before you start arguing and
on all the before you start arguing and
on all the before you start arguing and start talking a lot of times we want to
start talking a lot of times we want to
start talking a lot of times we want to be heard but we don’t want to listen and
be heard but we don’t want to listen and
be heard but we don’t want to listen and that’s what I’ve learned along the way
that’s what I’ve learned along the way
that’s what I’ve learned along the way is I’m fighting to be Who I am
is I’m fighting to be Who I am
is I’m fighting to be Who I am forgetting that Who I am is parts of
forgetting that Who I am is parts of
forgetting that Who I am is parts of each and every one of you because my
each and every one of you because my
each and every one of you because my experiences and the way I act and the
experiences and the way I act and the
experiences and the way I act and the way I’m defined is how I how I react to
way I’m defined is how I how I react to
way I’m defined is how I how I react to you you know I might come to you today
you you know I might come to you today
you you know I might come to you today and I have an attitude problem and you
and I have an attitude problem and you
and I have an attitude problem and you know people say first impressions that’s
know people say first impressions that’s
know people say first impressions that’s why I no longer judge people based on
why I no longer judge people based on
why I no longer judge people based on first impressions because man life has a
first impressions because man life has a
first impressions because man life has a way of dealing with you something so you
way of dealing with you something so you
way of dealing with you something so you can meet somebody on a very bad day so I
can meet somebody on a very bad day so I
can meet somebody on a very bad day so I used to believe that first impressions
used to believe that first impressions
used to believe that first impressions matter and that was who I was but
matter and that was who I was but
matter and that was who I was but because of I’ve grown and I’ve reached
because of I’ve grown and I’ve reached
because of I’ve grown and I’ve reached the certain stages in my life I realized
the certain stages in my life I realized
the certain stages in my life I realized that sometimes first impressions really
that sometimes first impressions really
that sometimes first impressions really don’t matter they told me this was about
don’t matter they told me this was about
don’t matter they told me this was about talking about who I was and who my
talking about who I was and who my
talking about who I was and who my parents wanted it to be but truth of the
parents wanted it to be but truth of the
parents wanted it to be but truth of the matter is they do intertwine you really
matter is they do intertwine you really
matter is they do intertwine you really can’t be who you are without who your
can’t be who you are without who your
can’t be who you are without who your parents already were trying to make you
parents already were trying to make you
parents already were trying to make you you know to be or whoever your guardian
you know to be or whoever your guardian
you know to be or whoever your guardian who you grew around because you imitate
who you grew around because you imitate
who you grew around because you imitate everything these people do up until you
everything these people do up until you
everything these people do up until you reach a certain stage you know I hear a
reach a certain stage you know I hear a
reach a certain stage you know I hear a lot of I’m self-made and I did this by
lot of I’m self-made and I did this by
lot of I’m self-made and I did this by myself
myself
myself and I try to remind people that we
and I try to remind people that we
and I try to remind people that we didn’t really do anything ourselves
didn’t really do anything ourselves
didn’t really do anything ourselves nothing because I don’t think you have
nothing because I don’t think you have
nothing because I don’t think you have any memory between now and five years
any memory between now and five years
any memory between now and five years old as to how you got there first of all
old as to how you got there first of all
old as to how you got there first of all you know and so it’s it’s now that I’m
you know and so it’s it’s now that I’m
you know and so it’s it’s now that I’m starting to appreciate each and every
starting to appreciate each and every
starting to appreciate each and every moment in my life you know having roles
moment in my life you know having roles
moment in my life you know having roles signed up for me already as being I keep
signed up for me already as being I keep
signed up for me already as being I keep telling people I said growing up in
telling people I said growing up in
telling people I said growing up in Africa is it’s amazing it’s it’s really
Africa is it’s amazing it’s it’s really
Africa is it’s amazing it’s it’s really not a disability it’s not anything you
not a disability it’s not anything you
not a disability it’s not anything you know it’s not a third world country heck
know it’s not a third world country heck
know it’s not a third world country heck I think we’re first world everybody’s
I think we’re first world everybody’s
I think we’re first world everybody’s taking everything from here and building
taking everything from here and building
taking everything from here and building everything else so for me it’s it’s it’s
everything else so for me it’s it’s it’s
everything else so for me it’s it’s it’s a foundation that’s needed but it does
a foundation that’s needed but it does
a foundation that’s needed but it does come with these challenges because we
come with these challenges because we
come with these challenges because we have traditions and we have cultures and
have traditions and we have cultures and
have traditions and we have cultures and within those cultures we’re now
within those cultures we’re now
within those cultures we’re now quote-unquote or people call the
quote-unquote or people call the
quote-unquote or people call the Millennials and we’re supposed to try to
Millennials and we’re supposed to try to
Millennials and we’re supposed to try to still fit within those cultures and
still fit within those cultures and
still fit within those cultures and what-what wasn’t even explained to us
what-what wasn’t even explained to us
what-what wasn’t even explained to us properly so I’m trying to make do with
properly so I’m trying to make do with
properly so I’m trying to make do with everything that I have and the most I
everything that I have and the most I
everything that I have and the most I think as another whole is to just have
think as another whole is to just have
think as another whole is to just have respect and kindness and that’s usually
respect and kindness and that’s usually
respect and kindness and that’s usually how I think I go about my day my
how I think I go about my day my
how I think I go about my day my background does have a lot to do with my
background does have a lot to do with my
background does have a lot to do with my family obviously this is the most
family obviously this is the most
family obviously this is the most important part of my life this is the
important part of my life this is the
important part of my life this is the most even though I fought them for a
most even though I fought them for a
most even though I fought them for a long time even though I used to think
long time even though I used to think
long time even though I used to think that oh you know it’s not so bad to sing
that oh you know it’s not so bad to sing
that oh you know it’s not so bad to sing but I never really understood because
but I never really understood because
but I never really understood because truthfully people that you know we’re
truthfully people that you know we’re
truthfully people that you know we’re doing this kind of profession was seen
doing this kind of profession was seen
doing this kind of profession was seen as other you know not really part of the
as other you know not really part of the
as other you know not really part of the society this is no way you’re supposed
society this is no way you’re supposed
society this is no way you’re supposed to be doing you are a female you are an
to be doing you are a female you are an
to be doing you are a female you are an African you are a Muslim and you’re
African you are a Muslim and you’re
African you are a Muslim and you’re acting like you don’t even know who you
acting like you don’t even know who you
acting like you don’t even know who you are what you are and I used to always
are what you are and I used to always
are what you are and I used to always say well Who I am is a reflection of my
say well Who I am is a reflection of my
say well Who I am is a reflection of my experiences and everything that I’m
experiences and everything that I’m
experiences and everything that I’m trying to understand but I can’t
trying to understand but I can’t
trying to understand but I can’t understand if you keep yelling at me I
understand if you keep yelling at me I
understand if you keep yelling at me I can’t understand this if you keep
can’t understand this if you keep
can’t understand this if you keep telling me that everything I do is wrong
telling me that everything I do is wrong
telling me that everything I do is wrong I can’t and won’t understand it because
I can’t and won’t understand it because
I can’t and won’t understand it because humanly the way we are made up and put
humanly the way we are made up and put
humanly the way we are made up and put together is that we are trying to
together is that we are trying to
together is that we are trying to survive and as soon as somebody tries to
survive and as soon as somebody tries to
survive and as soon as somebody tries to attack you you almost either you run
attack you you almost either you run
attack you you almost either you run into your shell or you start doing all
into your shell or you start doing all
into your shell or you start doing all the bad things to just create attention
the bad things to just create attention
the bad things to just create attention so I always feel feel that it’s not
so I always feel feel that it’s not
so I always feel feel that it’s not necessarily that you know there’s a
necessarily that you know there’s a
necessarily that you know there’s a breakdown between different generations
breakdown between different generations
breakdown between different generations is more or less of how we are given the
is more or less of how we are given the
is more or less of how we are given the information it doesn’t really take more
information it doesn’t really take more
information it doesn’t really take more than three to four seconds to sit down
than three to four seconds to sit down
than three to four seconds to sit down there are certain conversations I could
there are certain conversations I could
there are certain conversations I could never I would never bring up with my
never I would never bring up with my
never I would never bring up with my mother a long time ago that everybody’s
mother a long time ago that everybody’s
mother a long time ago that everybody’s expecting me to be comfortable to talk
expecting me to be comfortable to talk
expecting me to be comfortable to talk about now I’m like I don’t know I’m not
about now I’m like I don’t know I’m not
about now I’m like I don’t know I’m not trained to have these conversations I’m
trained to have these conversations I’m
trained to have these conversations I’m not trained to speak about these things
not trained to speak about these things
not trained to speak about these things neither am i but nobody ever told me not
neither am i but nobody ever told me not
neither am i but nobody ever told me not to think about it so that’s why I ended
to think about it so that’s why I ended
to think about it so that’s why I ended up finding ways to get the message out
up finding ways to get the message out
up finding ways to get the message out there but it doesn’t always have to be
there but it doesn’t always have to be
there but it doesn’t always have to be talking
talking
talking about me these are the most important
about me these are the most important
about me these are the most important people in my life my mother and my
people in my life my mother and my
people in my life my mother and my father and they came from two separate
father and they came from two separate
father and they came from two separate cultures and met in Kaduna and I keep
cultures and met in Kaduna and I keep
cultures and met in Kaduna and I keep telling someone that I’m a combination
telling someone that I’m a combination
telling someone that I’m a combination of all these things and it’s very hard
of all these things and it’s very hard
of all these things and it’s very hard to completely disregard one side or
to completely disregard one side or
to completely disregard one side or completely disregard the other side
completely disregard the other side
completely disregard the other side because I’m not necessarily pleasing you
because I’m not necessarily pleasing you
because I’m not necessarily pleasing you I feel instead of trying to understand
I feel instead of trying to understand
I feel instead of trying to understand one another we’re trying to figure out
one another we’re trying to figure out
one another we’re trying to figure out how is the best way to keep an amazing
how is the best way to keep an amazing
how is the best way to keep an amazing face to look the best part to not say
face to look the best part to not say
face to look the best part to not say the wrong things but by not saying those
the wrong things but by not saying those
the wrong things but by not saying those things we don’t know whether they are
things we don’t know whether they are
things we don’t know whether they are wrong or they’re right we don’t really
wrong or they’re right we don’t really
wrong or they’re right we don’t really know when and how to use them and when
know when and how to use them and when
know when and how to use them and when we use them other times that we don’t
we use them other times that we don’t
we use them other times that we don’t necessarily mean that this is what we’re
necessarily mean that this is what we’re
necessarily mean that this is what we’re trying to say it becomes a fight and
trying to say it becomes a fight and
trying to say it becomes a fight and then there’s no longer communication at
then there’s no longer communication at
then there’s no longer communication at all and then it becomes disrespect and
all and then it becomes disrespect and
all and then it becomes disrespect and then it becomes I can’t you cannot even
then it becomes I can’t you cannot even
then it becomes I can’t you cannot even talk to me I cannot and you know it
talk to me I cannot and you know it
talk to me I cannot and you know it becomes I find that sometimes we as
becomes I find that sometimes we as
becomes I find that sometimes we as youth as well
youth as well
youth as well don’t really give our parents enough
don’t really give our parents enough
don’t really give our parents enough chance because you have to remember that
chance because you have to remember that
chance because you have to remember that every generation just gets more aware
every generation just gets more aware
every generation just gets more aware it’s not necessarily that they’re coming
it’s not necessarily that they’re coming
it’s not necessarily that they’re coming with old ways it’s just every single
with old ways it’s just every single
with old ways it’s just every single generation gets more and more aware and
generation gets more and more aware and
generation gets more and more aware and now it’s even scarier because we’re in
now it’s even scarier because we’re in
now it’s even scarier because we’re in the generation that’s becoming another
the generation that’s becoming another
the generation that’s becoming another generation and you’re like wait I
generation and you’re like wait I
generation and you’re like wait I thought you’re supposed to age to get
thought you’re supposed to age to get
thought you’re supposed to age to get here and then you know people at 21 and
here and then you know people at 21 and
here and then you know people at 21 and 25 are killing each other because they
25 are killing each other because they
25 are killing each other because they can’t make their first million because
can’t make their first million because
can’t make their first million because everybody else is making that so I keep
everybody else is making that so I keep
everybody else is making that so I keep saying that who I’m Who I am is not
saying that who I’m Who I am is not
saying that who I’m Who I am is not necessarily who I was told I was going
necessarily who I was told I was going
necessarily who I was told I was going to become this is every time I meet you
to become this is every time I meet you
to become this is every time I meet you I change I hear this every time people
I change I hear this every time people
I change I hear this every time people say you’ve changed you’re constantly
say you’ve changed you’re constantly
say you’ve changed you’re constantly changing
changing
changing you’ve changed because you’re now in
you’ve changed because you’re now in
you’ve changed because you’re now in music you’ve changed but I can’t remain
music you’ve changed but I can’t remain
music you’ve changed but I can’t remain the same because the people I meet are
the same because the people I meet are
the same because the people I meet are not the same the people I see the people
not the same the people I see the people
not the same the people I see the people are like now my pigeon is better than
are like now my pigeon is better than
are like now my pigeon is better than CSI daylight is not they can’t play I
CSI daylight is not they can’t play I
CSI daylight is not they can’t play I know your problem seriously living in
know your problem seriously living in
know your problem seriously living in Lake
Lake
Lake you have had to adapt I’ve had to meet
you have had to adapt I’ve had to meet
you have had to adapt I’ve had to meet so many different people and I’ve had to
so many different people and I’ve had to
so many different people and I’ve had to also put some of my own boundaries aside
also put some of my own boundaries aside
also put some of my own boundaries aside in order to open up to these people
in order to open up to these people
in order to open up to these people because with my boundaries I don’t share
because with my boundaries I don’t share
because with my boundaries I don’t share anything with them with my boundaries I
anything with them with my boundaries I
anything with them with my boundaries I sit and say you’re different from me so
sit and say you’re different from me so
sit and say you’re different from me so why do i what do I have to tell you what
why do i what do I have to tell you what
why do i what do I have to tell you what do you want to hear but you try even
do you want to hear but you try even
do you want to hear but you try even even you know based on on religion and
even you know based on on religion and
even you know based on on religion and based on what we’ve learned they say you
based on what we’ve learned they say you
based on what we’ve learned they say you know you try different ways if you don’t
know you try different ways if you don’t
know you try different ways if you don’t if it doesn’t work this way you sit down
if it doesn’t work this way you sit down
if it doesn’t work this way you sit down if it doesn’t you stand up if not in
if it doesn’t you stand up if not in
if it doesn’t you stand up if not in light and if you know you’ve tried all
light and if you know you’ve tried all
light and if you know you’ve tried all those ways then you move on but I feel
those ways then you move on but I feel
those ways then you move on but I feel we give up too quickly
we give up too quickly
we give up too quickly nowadays figuring out who we are because
nowadays figuring out who we are because
nowadays figuring out who we are because we don’t have enough patience we don’t
we don’t have enough patience we don’t
we don’t have enough patience we don’t have enough time everything is on the go
have enough time everything is on the go
have enough time everything is on the go everything is fast fast and people
everything is fast fast and people
everything is fast fast and people always ask me how is it that you can be
always ask me how is it that you can be
always ask me how is it that you can be a moment a still a musician and a suit
a moment a still a musician and a suit
a moment a still a musician and a suit you know this is I’m like dude do you
you know this is I’m like dude do you
you know this is I’m like dude do you know how many hundreds of millions of
know how many hundreds of millions of
know how many hundreds of millions of women have done this before me countless
women have done this before me countless
women have done this before me countless times there’s nothing special about
times there’s nothing special about
times there’s nothing special about anything that I’m doing so I didn’t come
anything that I’m doing so I didn’t come
anything that I’m doing so I didn’t come here to tell anybody what I’m doing is
here to tell anybody what I’m doing is
here to tell anybody what I’m doing is so special it’s just what it is I’ve
so special it’s just what it is I’ve
so special it’s just what it is I’ve chosen to do in order to figure out what
chosen to do in order to figure out what
chosen to do in order to figure out what life is about and they comes a time
life is about and they comes a time
life is about and they comes a time where you may never do it again there
where you may never do it again there
where you may never do it again there comes a time where things change and
comes a time where things change and
comes a time where things change and things become you know you’re more aware
things become you know you’re more aware
things become you know you’re more aware than you were the last time and things
than you were the last time and things
than you were the last time and things you thought were so serious and if I
you thought were so serious and if I
you thought were so serious and if I didn’t do it out the eye you’re just
didn’t do it out the eye you’re just
didn’t do it out the eye you’re just like you know I’m moving on to the next
like you know I’m moving on to the next
like you know I’m moving on to the next thing and this is this comes with growth
thing and this is this comes with growth
thing and this is this comes with growth this comes with probably I’m sure many
this comes with probably I’m sure many
this comes with probably I’m sure many mothers will tell you every child you
mothers will tell you every child you
mothers will tell you every child you have you kind of lose a part of yourself
have you kind of lose a part of yourself
have you kind of lose a part of yourself and you put everything into them because
and you put everything into them because
and you put everything into them because it’s not like our parents they don’t
it’s not like our parents they don’t
it’s not like our parents they don’t have dreams or aspirations or different
have dreams or aspirations or different
have dreams or aspirations or different things that they wanted to do it’s just
things that they wanted to do it’s just
things that they wanted to do it’s just that as humans we make sacrifices and it
that as humans we make sacrifices and it
that as humans we make sacrifices and it is within these sacrifices we discover
is within these sacrifices we discover
is within these sacrifices we discover what it is we can or cannot do or can
what it is we can or cannot do or can
what it is we can or cannot do or can handle or cannot handle you know my dad
handle or cannot handle you know my dad
handle or cannot handle you know my dad being Sarah l’union and my mom being
being Sarah l’union and my mom being
being Sarah l’union and my mom being from Zarya it was never difficult it was
from Zarya it was never difficult it was
from Zarya it was never difficult it was other people that made it difficult or
other people that made it difficult or
other people that made it difficult or people asked me I I need no confused or
people asked me I I need no confused or
people asked me I I need no confused or or is it that which one are you or which
or is it that which one are you or which
or is it that which one are you or which one I’m like I never really had to
one I’m like I never really had to
one I’m like I never really had to choose I’m kind of everything that
choose I’m kind of everything that
choose I’m kind of everything that they’ve made me so I never had to choose
they’ve made me so I never had to choose
they’ve made me so I never had to choose I found it was always the world trying
I found it was always the world trying
I found it was always the world trying to make me choose trying to make me
to make me choose trying to make me
to make me choose trying to make me say you know the things that maybe they
say you know the things that maybe they
say you know the things that maybe they are too scared to say I find that and
are too scared to say I find that and
are too scared to say I find that and and it just it just made it a lot easier
and it just it just made it a lot easier
and it just it just made it a lot easier I guess later on to sort of look in
I guess later on to sort of look in
I guess later on to sort of look in hindsight and say okay I guess this is
hindsight and say okay I guess this is
hindsight and say okay I guess this is what I was supposed to learn from this
what I was supposed to learn from this
what I was supposed to learn from this truthfully I never in my life thought I
truthfully I never in my life thought I
truthfully I never in my life thought I would think I never woke up in the
would think I never woke up in the
would think I never woke up in the morning so this is what I wanted to I
morning so this is what I wanted to I
morning so this is what I wanted to I want to make my parents upset or I just
want to make my parents upset or I just
want to make my parents upset or I just want to show I’m a rebel
want to show I’m a rebel
want to show I’m a rebel that’s not what I did I just followed
that’s not what I did I just followed
that’s not what I did I just followed what it was I thought I was following
what it was I thought I was following
what it was I thought I was following and they led me up to here
and they led me up to here
and they led me up to here weather is good weather is bad I pray
weather is good weather is bad I pray
weather is good weather is bad I pray every day that I’m guided and and you
every day that I’m guided and and you
every day that I’m guided and and you know constantly shown what it is that I
know constantly shown what it is that I
know constantly shown what it is that I will appear in however many years from
will appear in however many years from
will appear in however many years from here but until then you know this is
here but until then you know this is
here but until then you know this is where I’m at and I’m still trying to
where I’m at and I’m still trying to
where I’m at and I’m still trying to figure it out you know I came from a
figure it out you know I came from a
figure it out you know I came from a place where you know I was told that
place where you know I was told that
place where you know I was told that almost if you touch somebody like this
almost if you touch somebody like this
almost if you touch somebody like this you could get pregnant you know it’s you
you could get pregnant you know it’s you
you could get pregnant you know it’s you just don’t even try and go anywhere you
just don’t even try and go anywhere you
just don’t even try and go anywhere you know you can’t talk from a distance and
know you can’t talk from a distance and
know you can’t talk from a distance and things like that and you know this this
things like that and you know this this
things like that and you know this this for me was always okay well if I watch
for me was always okay well if I watch
for me was always okay well if I watch houses I mean I wants to come and be
houses I mean I wants to come and be
houses I mean I wants to come and be making me feel any any kind of way
making me feel any any kind of way
making me feel any any kind of way there’s really nothing attractive out of
there’s really nothing attractive out of
there’s really nothing attractive out of a pair of trousers and it’s talk because
a pair of trousers and it’s talk because
a pair of trousers and it’s talk because it was almost like a god I always felt
it was almost like a god I always felt
it was almost like a god I always felt if I had your dress and wore trousers
if I had your dress and wore trousers
if I had your dress and wore trousers underneath you’re like I’m okay nothing
underneath you’re like I’m okay nothing
underneath you’re like I’m okay nothing can happen to me at this point you know
can happen to me at this point you know
can happen to me at this point you know you grow up feeling that you don’t
you grow up feeling that you don’t
you grow up feeling that you don’t really have people around you what you
really have people around you what you
really have people around you what you do you have people around you being a
do you have people around you being a
do you have people around you being a woman being northern being Nigerian
woman being northern being Nigerian
woman being northern being Nigerian being Sri Leone and being African it
being Sri Leone and being African it
being Sri Leone and being African it doesn’t really stop you from having
doesn’t really stop you from having
doesn’t really stop you from having respect and kindness and you know having
respect and kindness and you know having
respect and kindness and you know having a story that at some place at some times
a story that at some place at some times
a story that at some place at some times somebody will listen to it somebody will
somebody will listen to it somebody will
somebody will listen to it somebody will hear it I mean talking is not
hear it I mean talking is not
hear it I mean talking is not necessarily one of my best traits so I
necessarily one of my best traits so I
necessarily one of my best traits so I draw and this is something that I don’t
draw and this is something that I don’t
draw and this is something that I don’t really talk or show at all I draw the
really talk or show at all I draw the
really talk or show at all I draw the eyes a lot and one of the reasons I draw
eyes a lot and one of the reasons I draw
eyes a lot and one of the reasons I draw the eyes a lot because that’s like they
the eyes a lot because that’s like they
the eyes a lot because that’s like they say the window to the soul and most
say the window to the soul and most
say the window to the soul and most likely I’m trying to see something
likely I’m trying to see something
likely I’m trying to see something within myself that I can’t see quite yet
within myself that I can’t see quite yet
within myself that I can’t see quite yet I do all this with pen by row I wish I
I do all this with pen by row I wish I
I do all this with pen by row I wish I knew how to use pencil this is one of
knew how to use pencil this is one of
knew how to use pencil this is one of the first drawings I ever did out of
the first drawings I ever did out of
the first drawings I ever did out of frustration
frustration
frustration I was quite angry and I had a fight
I was quite angry and I had a fight
I was quite angry and I had a fight until today I don’t know how I stood
until today I don’t know how I stood
until today I don’t know how I stood there for four hours and I didn’t take
there for four hours and I didn’t take
there for four hours and I didn’t take the pan off and the first thing was I
the pan off and the first thing was I
the pan off and the first thing was I said I loved my fans and this was back
said I loved my fans and this was back
said I loved my fans and this was back in 2009
in 2009
in 2009 knowing that deep down inside everything
knowing that deep down inside everything
knowing that deep down inside everything everybody told me that I was not going
everybody told me that I was not going
everybody told me that I was not going to do I will try I will try and I will
to do I will try I will try and I will
to do I will try I will try and I will do it consistently and I would do it
do it consistently and I would do it
do it consistently and I would do it every day and I will pray over it and if
every day and I will pray over it and if
every day and I will pray over it and if for some reason this is not good then by
for some reason this is not good then by
for some reason this is not good then by God let it stop you know and this is
God let it stop you know and this is
God let it stop you know and this is where we are today and this is where I’m
where we are today and this is where I’m
where we are today and this is where I’m still continuing to pray this is a very
still continuing to pray this is a very
still continuing to pray this is a very big part of my life I’m constantly
big part of my life I’m constantly
big part of my life I’m constantly learning constantly trying to grow
learning constantly trying to grow
learning constantly trying to grow within it I’m sure by many different
within it I’m sure by many different
within it I’m sure by many different standards the right things you’re doing
standards the right things you’re doing
standards the right things you’re doing the wrong things you’re doing and you’re
the wrong things you’re doing and you’re
the wrong things you’re doing and you’re hoping that eventually like they say
hoping that eventually like they say
hoping that eventually like they say earlier Sharia muta you know and I find
earlier Sharia muta you know and I find
earlier Sharia muta you know and I find that these days we’re getting more and
that these days we’re getting more and
that these days we’re getting more and more afraid to show what it is or who
more afraid to show what it is or who
more afraid to show what it is or who yeah and and you know faith because it’s
yeah and and you know faith because it’s
yeah and and you know faith because it’s almost becoming some form of a bad word
almost becoming some form of a bad word
almost becoming some form of a bad word and I’m very proud and very proud to be
and I’m very proud and very proud to be
and I’m very proud and very proud to be a Muslim and I’m very proud to be here
a Muslim and I’m very proud to be here
a Muslim and I’m very proud to be here and this has nothing to do with being
and this has nothing to do with being
and this has nothing to do with being tribalistic or being it is just who I am
tribalistic or being it is just who I am
tribalistic or being it is just who I am and I don’t want to have to be making
and I don’t want to have to be making
and I don’t want to have to be making excuses for it over and over again
excuses for it over and over again
excuses for it over and over again because of a certain group of people or
because of a certain group of people or
because of a certain group of people or a certain news that’s going around there
a certain news that’s going around there
a certain news that’s going around there I mean we should all be able to openly
I mean we should all be able to openly
I mean we should all be able to openly discuss who we are regardless of how
discuss who we are regardless of how
discuss who we are regardless of how offensive it is as long as we can
offensive it is as long as we can
offensive it is as long as we can actually keep an open communication you
actually keep an open communication you
actually keep an open communication you learn something we don’t have to admit
learn something we don’t have to admit
learn something we don’t have to admit it right there and then that we learn
it right there and then that we learn
it right there and then that we learn something we can always miss it to each
something we can always miss it to each
something we can always miss it to each other you know and I’ve had some moments
other you know and I’ve had some moments
other you know and I’ve had some moments obviously I’ll see some moments of my
obviously I’ll see some moments of my
obviously I’ll see some moments of my mom cause moments of craziness and when
mom cause moments of craziness and when
mom cause moments of craziness and when I use Ankara
I use Ankara
I use Ankara to make braids because I’m finding
to make braids because I’m finding
to make braids because I’m finding different ways to cover my hair up or
different ways to cover my hair up or
different ways to cover my hair up or finding different ways to show that you
finding different ways to show that you
finding different ways to show that you can express different things and nets on
can express different things and nets on
can express different things and nets on my face this not necessarily what people
my face this not necessarily what people
my face this not necessarily what people should be doing it’s what I do to
should be doing it’s what I do to
should be doing it’s what I do to express what’s inside of me I remember
express what’s inside of me I remember
express what’s inside of me I remember one day like that uh-huh
one day like that uh-huh
one day like that uh-huh me and Mama had a little chat uh-huh on
me and Mama had a little chat uh-huh on
me and Mama had a little chat uh-huh on how to laughs I sat haha but only one
how to laughs I sat haha but only one
how to laughs I sat haha but only one question meows mama
question meows mama
question meows mama what is it that they want anyways what
what is it that they want anyways what
what is it that they want anyways what is it so hard to be a woman which way is
is it so hard to be a woman which way is
is it so hard to be a woman which way is right anyways I’m surrounded by you and
right anyways I’m surrounded by you and
right anyways I’m surrounded by you and I want you to help me thank you very
I want you to help me thank you very
I want you to help me thank you very much
much
much [Applause]
you
you [Music]
”
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