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Apology to My Father | Sakila Islam | TEDxDetroit


good evening ladies and gentlemen my

good evening ladies and gentlemen my name is su Kela Islam I am currently a

name is su Kela Islam I am currently a

name is su Kela Islam I am currently a junior at the University of Michigan

junior at the University of Michigan

junior at the University of Michigan Golu and I am a spoken-word poet but in

Golu and I am a spoken-word poet but in

Golu and I am a spoken-word poet but in elementary school I was just that kid

elementary school I was just that kid

elementary school I was just that kid who liked words I used to collect words

who liked words I used to collect words

who liked words I used to collect words like my friends collected pokemon cards

like my friends collected pokemon cards

like my friends collected pokemon cards penultimate vivacious malevolent in

penultimate vivacious malevolent in

penultimate vivacious malevolent in middle school I was that student who

middle school I was that student who

middle school I was that student who took every creative writing assignment a

took every creative writing assignment a

took every creative writing assignment a little too far and for some reason all

little too far and for some reason all

little too far and for some reason all of my fairy tales used to end in zombie

of my fairy tales used to end in zombie

of my fairy tales used to end in zombie apocalypses I think I don’t really know

apocalypses I think I don’t really know

apocalypses I think I don’t really know why either but in high school I competed

why either but in high school I competed

why either but in high school I competed in international youth poetry slams and

in international youth poetry slams and

in international youth poetry slams and just last year I had the honor of

just last year I had the honor of

just last year I had the honor of performing at the White House

all of this became possible due to the

all of this became possible due to the people I’ve met through Inside Out

people I’ve met through Inside Out

people I’ve met through Inside Out literary arts Detroit which is a

literary arts Detroit which is a

literary arts Detroit which is a not-for-profit organization that

not-for-profit organization that

not-for-profit organization that encourages young writers across Detroit

encourages young writers across Detroit

encourages young writers across Detroit to think broadly and create bravely if I

to think broadly and create bravely if I

to think broadly and create bravely if I hadn’t found out about inside-out I

hadn’t found out about inside-out I

hadn’t found out about inside-out I would not have come to love and create

would not have come to love and create

would not have come to love and create art knowing that all I need is a pen and

art knowing that all I need is a pen and

art knowing that all I need is a pen and paper to go from just a kid who liked

paper to go from just a kid who liked

paper to go from just a kid who liked words to performing at the White House

words to performing at the White House

words to performing at the White House it really made me appreciate just how

it really made me appreciate just how

it really made me appreciate just how much a little push in the right

much a little push in the right

much a little push in the right direction can take you if I hadn’t found

direction can take you if I hadn’t found

direction can take you if I hadn’t found out about inside out in 2009 I wouldn’t

out about inside out in 2009 I wouldn’t

out about inside out in 2009 I wouldn’t be me today I wouldn’t have this voice I

be me today I wouldn’t have this voice I

be me today I wouldn’t have this voice I wouldn’t have this stage and I

wouldn’t have this stage and I

wouldn’t have this stage and I definitely would not have this power to

definitely would not have this power to

definitely would not have this power to speak my truth and today I’d like to

speak my truth and today I’d like to

speak my truth and today I’d like to perform for you

perform for you

perform for you a poem that speaks that very truth it is

a poem that speaks that very truth it is

a poem that speaks that very truth it is entitled apology to my father my father

entitled apology to my father my father

entitled apology to my father my father has the pride of a thousand sons the

has the pride of a thousand sons the

has the pride of a thousand sons the kind of pride that leaks out of him as

kind of pride that leaks out of him as

kind of pride that leaks out of him as he walks the kind of pride that radiates

he walks the kind of pride that radiates

he walks the kind of pride that radiates from him as he talks the kind of pride

from him as he talks the kind of pride

from him as he talks the kind of pride that’s so bright that I can’t even look

that’s so bright that I can’t even look

that’s so bright that I can’t even look him in the eyes sometimes my father’s

him in the eyes sometimes my father’s

him in the eyes sometimes my father’s pride is as deep as the ancient green

pride is as deep as the ancient green

pride is as deep as the ancient green forests behind his Bangladeshi home and

forests behind his Bangladeshi home and

forests behind his Bangladeshi home and as strong as the rigid jackfruit trees

as strong as the rigid jackfruit trees

as strong as the rigid jackfruit trees that stand tall even during the monsoon

that stand tall even during the monsoon

that stand tall even during the monsoon season floods that’s why I know that he

season floods that’s why I know that he

season floods that’s why I know that he will never accept my apologies dear

will never accept my apologies dear

will never accept my apologies dear father you came to this country only the

father you came to this country only the

father you came to this country only the clothes on your back and the hopes and

clothes on your back and the hopes and

clothes on your back and the hopes and dreams of your family in your pocket

dreams of your family in your pocket

dreams of your family in your pocket hopes and dreams so heavy that they wage

hopes and dreams so heavy that they wage

hopes and dreams so heavy that they wage you down every step you took putting so

you down every step you took putting so

you down every step you took putting so much pressure on you that you melt to

much pressure on you that you melt to

much pressure on you that you melt to the ground in prayer time and time again

the ground in prayer time and time again

the ground in prayer time and time again I’m sorry that this country will not

I’m sorry that this country will not

I’m sorry that this country will not accept you I’m sorry that your skin is

accept you I’m sorry that your skin is

accept you I’m sorry that your skin is too

too

too Brown too similar to dirt to be worth

Brown too similar to dirt to be worth

Brown too similar to dirt to be worth anything if anything it’s only good for

anything if anything it’s only good for

anything if anything it’s only good for their cheap labor I’m sorry your English

their cheap labor I’m sorry your English

their cheap labor I’m sorry your English is too broken like jagged shards of

is too broken like jagged shards of

is too broken like jagged shards of glass they’re too afraid of cutting

glass they’re too afraid of cutting

glass they’re too afraid of cutting themselves on your sentence fragments so

themselves on your sentence fragments so

themselves on your sentence fragments so they clench their fists full of insults

they clench their fists full of insults

they clench their fists full of insults before even getting to know you I’m

before even getting to know you I’m

before even getting to know you I’m sorry your faith is too strong that it’s

sorry your faith is too strong that it’s

sorry your faith is too strong that it’s become a threat to the people around you

become a threat to the people around you

become a threat to the people around you instead of realizing how beautiful your

instead of realizing how beautiful your

instead of realizing how beautiful your voice sounds coming from the minaret of

voice sounds coming from the minaret of

voice sounds coming from the minaret of a mosque they silenced your needs and

a mosque they silenced your needs and

a mosque they silenced your needs and turn a deaf ear to your problems it’s

turn a deaf ear to your problems it’s

turn a deaf ear to your problems it’s been two decades since my father came

been two decades since my father came

been two decades since my father came here and he’s begun swallowing his pride

here and he’s begun swallowing his pride

here and he’s begun swallowing his pride like diabetes pills doctor’s orders

like diabetes pills doctor’s orders

like diabetes pills doctor’s orders the unseen unheard unless you were born

the unseen unheard unless you were born

the unseen unheard unless you were born in this country you will always have

in this country you will always have

in this country you will always have second priority while sitting in the

second priority while sitting in the

second priority while sitting in the waiting room but my father’s sight has

waiting room but my father’s sight has

waiting room but my father’s sight has gone bad from turning a blind eye to the

gone bad from turning a blind eye to the

gone bad from turning a blind eye to the people who mock him so many times that

people who mock him so many times that

people who mock him so many times that he can’t even read the fine print on his

he can’t even read the fine print on his

he can’t even read the fine print on his prescription maybe that’s why he takes a

prescription maybe that’s why he takes a

prescription maybe that’s why he takes a little too much overdosing on becoming a

little too much overdosing on becoming a

little too much overdosing on becoming a pushover in a society that has no

pushover in a society that has no

pushover in a society that has no problems pushing him over the edge

problems pushing him over the edge

problems pushing him over the edge father I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m writing a

father I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m writing a

father I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m writing a poem to you in the language you’ll never

poem to you in the language you’ll never

poem to you in the language you’ll never fully understand I’m sorry I can’t even

fully understand I’m sorry I can’t even

fully understand I’m sorry I can’t even properly tell you how much I love you

properly tell you how much I love you

properly tell you how much I love you because they didn’t let me speak your

because they didn’t let me speak your

because they didn’t let me speak your mother tongue in the school I was

mother tongue in the school I was

mother tongue in the school I was adopted into I’m sorry I’m sorry

I’m sorry this country is such a cruel

I’m sorry this country is such a cruel lover to you binding you to it with

lover to you binding you to it with

lover to you binding you to it with blackmail I know you’re only in this

blackmail I know you’re only in this

blackmail I know you’re only in this destructive relationship for the sake of

destructive relationship for the sake of

destructive relationship for the sake of your children and your children with one

your children and your children with one

your children and your children with one foot in America and the other in

foot in America and the other in

foot in America and the other in Bangladesh no you can’t fight a war when

Bangladesh no you can’t fight a war when

Bangladesh no you can’t fight a war when you’re standing at the border so when

you’re standing at the border so when

you’re standing at the border so when people fire insults your children follow

people fire insults your children follow

people fire insults your children follow in your footsteps overdosing on silence

in your footsteps overdosing on silence

in your footsteps overdosing on silence swallowing the pride of a thousand suns

swallowing the pride of a thousand suns

swallowing the pride of a thousand suns and becoming shadows that can only carry

and becoming shadows that can only carry

and becoming shadows that can only carry apologies thank you

apologies thank you

apologies thank you [Applause]

”

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