I wish that I had a keyboard for life that sounds odd doesn’t it let me
that sounds odd doesn’t it let me
that sounds odd doesn’t it let me elaborate keyboards have lots of
elaborate keyboards have lots of
elaborate keyboards have lots of functions you can type type type
sometimes enter capitalized letters and
sometimes enter capitalized letters and most notably delete but honestly the
most notably delete but honestly the
most notably delete but honestly the most underrated key on the keyboard is
most underrated key on the keyboard is
most underrated key on the keyboard is the escape button at this point you’re
the escape button at this point you’re
the escape button at this point you’re probably thinking wow that’s a really
probably thinking wow that’s a really
probably thinking wow that’s a really cheesy way to somehow connect your
cheesy way to somehow connect your
cheesy way to somehow connect your speech to the TEDx topic thank you
speech to the TEDx topic thank you
speech to the TEDx topic thank you anyways back to the keyboard imagine
anyways back to the keyboard imagine
anyways back to the keyboard imagine waking up knowing that no matter what
waking up knowing that no matter what
waking up knowing that no matter what happened or what you thought you could
happened or what you thought you could
happened or what you thought you could escape at the click of a button delete a
escape at the click of a button delete a
escape at the click of a button delete a mistake you made or maybe even emphasize
mistake you made or maybe even emphasize
mistake you made or maybe even emphasize your triumphs wouldn’t that be nice
your triumphs wouldn’t that be nice
your triumphs wouldn’t that be nice like really really nice but why do I
like really really nice but why do I
like really really nice but why do I really want this keyboard so that in
really want this keyboard so that in
really want this keyboard so that in addition to all the self-correcting and
addition to all the self-correcting and
addition to all the self-correcting and all the self reflecting I can escape
all the self reflecting I can escape
all the self reflecting I can escape this negative cycle in my mind my
this negative cycle in my mind my
this negative cycle in my mind my crippling quest for perfection and
crippling quest for perfection and
crippling quest for perfection and appreciate what I’ve done right
appreciate what I’ve done right
appreciate what I’ve done right perfectionism leaves me feeling empty
perfectionism leaves me feeling empty
perfectionism leaves me feeling empty and undeserving a major cause of
and undeserving a major cause of
and undeserving a major cause of perfectionism is atychiphobia or the
perfectionism is atychiphobia or the
perfectionism is atychiphobia or the fear of failure psych central states if
fear of failure psych central states if
fear of failure psych central states if you went to school then you have almost
you went to school then you have almost
you went to school then you have almost certainly been trained to fear failure
certainly been trained to fear failure
certainly been trained to fear failure from an early age and here’s why getting
from an early age and here’s why getting
from an early age and here’s why getting the right answer the first time is the
the right answer the first time is the
the right answer the first time is the only thing rewarded in most schools in
only thing rewarded in most schools in
only thing rewarded in most schools in fact getting the wrong answer is
fact getting the wrong answer is
fact getting the wrong answer is punished in a variety of ways including
punished in a variety of ways including
punished in a variety of ways including low grades scolding and contempt from
low grades scolding and contempt from
low grades scolding and contempt from teachers and peers this has students and
teachers and peers this has students and
teachers and peers this has students and later on adults believing that the only
later on adults believing that the only
later on adults believing that the only way to be successful is to never fail
way to be successful is to never fail
way to be successful is to never fail but these perfect computer like people
but these perfect computer like people
but these perfect computer like people can’t slow down because no matter how
can’t slow down because no matter how
can’t slow down because no matter how hard they try it seems as if the person
hard they try it seems as if the person
hard they try it seems as if the person next to them is always doing better a
next to them is always doing better a
next to them is always doing better a perfect example of this would be at a
perfect example of this would be at a
perfect example of this would be at a speech and debate event I had to go to
speech and debate event I had to go to
speech and debate event I had to go to when I had to deliver a speech in front
when I had to deliver a speech in front
when I had to deliver a speech in front of a large audience I worked for hours
of a large audience I worked for hours
of a large audience I worked for hours on that speech and had to argue a
on that speech and had to argue a
on that speech and had to argue a position I completely disagreed with as
position I completely disagreed with as
position I completely disagreed with as I was walking on stage I was literally
I was walking on stage I was literally
I was walking on stage I was literally shaking from the amount of fear of
shaking from the amount of fear of
shaking from the amount of fear of public speaking I have yet I pushed
public speaking I have yet I pushed
public speaking I have yet I pushed through afterwards although there were
through afterwards although there were
through afterwards although there were no major mistakes and everything went
no major mistakes and everything went
no major mistakes and everything went fairly well I couldn’t help but focus on
fairly well I couldn’t help but focus on
fairly well I couldn’t help but focus on the tiny slip-ups that had occurred I
the tiny slip-ups that had occurred I
the tiny slip-ups that had occurred I focused intensely on minor
focused intensely on minor
focused intensely on minor mispronunciations for example during the
mispronunciations for example during the
mispronunciations for example during the not funny at all speech I was giving the
not funny at all speech I was giving the
not funny at all speech I was giving the audience began murmuring and chuckling I
audience began murmuring and chuckling I
audience began murmuring and chuckling I couldn’t for the life of me figure out
couldn’t for the life of me figure out
couldn’t for the life of me figure out why until afterwards when a friend was
why until afterwards when a friend was
why until afterwards when a friend was kind enough to explain to me that I
kind enough to explain to me that I
kind enough to explain to me that I addressed my female opponent as sir
addressed my female opponent as sir
addressed my female opponent as sir because of this I watched a video of the
because of this I watched a video of the
because of this I watched a video of the debate over and over and over again
debate over and over and over again
debate over and over and over again until I could pinpoint exactly where it
until I could pinpoint exactly where it
until I could pinpoint exactly where it went wrong it turns out that since I was
went wrong it turns out that since I was
went wrong it turns out that since I was speaking so quickly the words sure came
speaking so quickly the words sure came
speaking so quickly the words sure came out as sir and to this day that memory
out as sir and to this day that memory
out as sir and to this day that memory haunts me I felt that no matter how hard
haunts me I felt that no matter how hard
haunts me I felt that no matter how hard I tried and no matter how well I seem to
I tried and no matter how well I seem to
I tried and no matter how well I seem to have done those petty slip-ups ruined my
have done those petty slip-ups ruined my
have done those petty slip-ups ruined my opportunity to enjoy the experience
opportunity to enjoy the experience
opportunity to enjoy the experience looking back it’s easy to see how these
looking back it’s easy to see how these
looking back it’s easy to see how these fallacies dominate people’s perceptions
fallacies dominate people’s perceptions
fallacies dominate people’s perceptions I know personally how hard it is to
I know personally how hard it is to
I know personally how hard it is to escape this never-ending loop of
escape this never-ending loop of
escape this never-ending loop of negativity and anxiety but sometimes no
negativity and anxiety but sometimes no
negativity and anxiety but sometimes no matter how well you believe you did or
matter how well you believe you did or
matter how well you believe you did or did not do you must accept the fact that
did not do you must accept the fact that
did not do you must accept the fact that it’s over
it’s over
it’s over there’s no magical keyboard in real life
there’s no magical keyboard in real life
there’s no magical keyboard in real life I am my own worst enemy and it will be a
I am my own worst enemy and it will be a
I am my own worst enemy and it will be a constant battle to befriend myself while
constant battle to befriend myself while
constant battle to befriend myself while also learning that tiny slip-ups our
also learning that tiny slip-ups our
also learning that tiny slip-ups our learning experiences that enable human
learning experiences that enable human
learning experiences that enable human growth professor Carol Dweck has found
growth professor Carol Dweck has found
growth professor Carol Dweck has found that people with a fixed mindset believe
that people with a fixed mindset believe
that people with a fixed mindset believe intelligence and talent are hardwired
intelligence and talent are hardwired
intelligence and talent are hardwired and they were born with almost all the
and they were born with almost all the
and they were born with almost all the natural abilities they’ll ever have they
natural abilities they’ll ever have they
natural abilities they’ll ever have they tend to avoid challenges and are
tend to avoid challenges and are
tend to avoid challenges and are unwilling to exert too much effort for
unwilling to exert too much effort for
unwilling to exert too much effort for fear that any failure will prove to
fear that any failure will prove to
fear that any failure will prove to others that they’re not really good
others that they’re not really good
others that they’re not really good enough and there is nothing they can do
enough and there is nothing they can do
enough and there is nothing they can do about it these people tend to be very
about it these people tend to be very
about it these people tend to be very outcome focused both success and failure
outcome focused both success and failure
outcome focused both success and failure caused extreme anxiety for them failure
caused extreme anxiety for them failure
caused extreme anxiety for them failure in particular tends to induce a state of
in particular tends to induce a state of
in particular tends to induce a state of helplessness or perfectionist paralysis
helplessness or perfectionist paralysis
helplessness or perfectionist paralysis making it difficult for them to learn
making it difficult for them to learn
making it difficult for them to learn from their mistakes
from their mistakes
from their mistakes eventually they give up this sort of
eventually they give up this sort of
eventually they give up this sort of mindset began quite a while back for me
mindset began quite a while back for me
mindset began quite a while back for me at a robotics tournament in middle
at a robotics tournament in middle
at a robotics tournament in middle school where my teammates and I were
school where my teammates and I were
school where my teammates and I were competing to join the National robotics
competing to join the National robotics
competing to join the National robotics tournament as soon as I arrived I
tournament as soon as I arrived I
tournament as soon as I arrived I immediately looked at the opposition
immediately looked at the opposition
immediately looked at the opposition high school kids that could completely
high school kids that could completely
high school kids that could completely crush us our robot was a tiny simple
crush us our robot was a tiny simple
crush us our robot was a tiny simple claw BOTS that could score one point at
claw BOTS that could score one point at
claw BOTS that could score one point at a time compared to mega mechanical
a time compared to mega mechanical
a time compared to mega mechanical multitasking giants it was David against
multitasking giants it was David against
multitasking giants it was David against Goliath every match we were the team of
Goliath every match we were the team of
Goliath every match we were the team of new kids with little to no experience in
new kids with little to no experience in
new kids with little to no experience in robotics randomly thrown together
robotics randomly thrown together
robotics randomly thrown together because all the other teams had been
because all the other teams had been
because all the other teams had been formed yet throughout the year our coach
formed yet throughout the year our coach
formed yet throughout the year our coach pushed the expectations of nationally
pushed the expectations of nationally
pushed the expectations of nationally ranked teams on to our own I had to win
ranked teams on to our own I had to win
ranked teams on to our own I had to win or else I felt I would have thrown away
or else I felt I would have thrown away
or else I felt I would have thrown away not only my coach’s respect but my own
not only my coach’s respect but my own
not only my coach’s respect but my own self-respect
self-respect
self-respect finally the buzzer rang and our robot
finally the buzzer rang and our robot
finally the buzzer rang and our robot launched forward seeking to score one
launched forward seeking to score one
launched forward seeking to score one last point
last point
last point which would advance us to Nationals and
which would advance us to Nationals and
which would advance us to Nationals and with our fingers crossed it failed we
with our fingers crossed it failed we
with our fingers crossed it failed we were failures or so I believed that’s
were failures or so I believed that’s
were failures or so I believed that’s kind of dark considering I was 11 I had
kind of dark considering I was 11 I had
kind of dark considering I was 11 I had set myself up convincing myself that
set myself up convincing myself that
set myself up convincing myself that winning was the only option and so while
winning was the only option and so while
winning was the only option and so while my teammates were celebrating how far
my teammates were celebrating how far
my teammates were celebrating how far we’d come I couldn’t help but focus on
we’d come I couldn’t help but focus on
we’d come I couldn’t help but focus on the things I believed I could have fixed
the things I believed I could have fixed
the things I believed I could have fixed which I believed cost us the match but
which I believed cost us the match but
which I believed cost us the match but it wasn’t like this was anything new
it wasn’t like this was anything new
it wasn’t like this was anything new since the beginning my teammates one of
since the beginning my teammates one of
since the beginning my teammates one of them more so than others had been having
them more so than others had been having
them more so than others had been having a fantastic time while I had only
a fantastic time while I had only
a fantastic time while I had only focused on winning this was the first
focused on winning this was the first
focused on winning this was the first time that I had a significant level of
time that I had a significant level of
time that I had a significant level of failure and I couldn’t handle it
failure and I couldn’t handle it
failure and I couldn’t handle it so I quit I didn’t join robotics again
so I quit I didn’t join robotics again
so I quit I didn’t join robotics again until freshman year it took me four
until freshman year it took me four
until freshman year it took me four years to understand that although I
years to understand that although I
years to understand that although I didn’t succeed I still could have had a
didn’t succeed I still could have had a
didn’t succeed I still could have had a great time just like my teammates if I
great time just like my teammates if I
great time just like my teammates if I didn’t focus on the things that didn’t
didn’t focus on the things that didn’t
didn’t focus on the things that didn’t matter in the long run oh and when I say
matter in the long run oh and when I say
matter in the long run oh and when I say four years I mean it took me until I was
four years I mean it took me until I was
four years I mean it took me until I was actually writing this speech to figure
actually writing this speech to figure
actually writing this speech to figure out that it wasn’t as traumatizing of an
out that it wasn’t as traumatizing of an
out that it wasn’t as traumatizing of an experience as I pictured it to be yeah
robotics was extremely important to me
robotics was extremely important to me and I quit was this going to be a
and I quit was this going to be a
and I quit was this going to be a pattern could I let perfectionism
pattern could I let perfectionism
pattern could I let perfectionism control me when I was two years old
control me when I was two years old
control me when I was two years old barely old enough to remember anything
barely old enough to remember anything
barely old enough to remember anything happening around me my father died from
happening around me my father died from
happening around me my father died from brain cancer since then I have been told
brain cancer since then I have been told
brain cancer since then I have been told amazing stories about him and what he’s
amazing stories about him and what he’s
amazing stories about him and what he’s done
done
done for the world from his friends
for the world from his friends
for the world from his friends colleagues and my mother because of this
colleagues and my mother because of this
colleagues and my mother because of this throughout my childhood my vision of him
throughout my childhood my vision of him
throughout my childhood my vision of him was absolute perfection and anytime
was absolute perfection and anytime
was absolute perfection and anytime someone would tell me you’re just like
someone would tell me you’re just like
someone would tell me you’re just like him
him
him I’d think how far I was from it it only
I’d think how far I was from it it only
I’d think how far I was from it it only made it worse when I discovered that my
made it worse when I discovered that my
made it worse when I discovered that my passions were his suddenly people saw
passions were his suddenly people saw
passions were his suddenly people saw him in me but I didn’t see him in me he
him in me but I didn’t see him in me he
him in me but I didn’t see him in me he was perfect
was perfect
was perfect so I strived to be an exact copy of the
so I strived to be an exact copy of the
so I strived to be an exact copy of the father I never knew in order to prove I
father I never knew in order to prove I
father I never knew in order to prove I could be successful when you were young
could be successful when you were young
could be successful when you were young you forget to do the reality check
you forget to do the reality check
you forget to do the reality check he had faults to overcome too but when I
he had faults to overcome too but when I
he had faults to overcome too but when I listened to those two minute stories on
listened to those two minute stories on
listened to those two minute stories on him and his inventions I choose to omit
him and his inventions I choose to omit
him and his inventions I choose to omit that just because the stories took a few
that just because the stories took a few
that just because the stories took a few minutes to tell doesn’t mean it took
minutes to tell doesn’t mean it took
minutes to tell doesn’t mean it took little to no effort for him to succeed
little to no effort for him to succeed
little to no effort for him to succeed it took lots of trial and error and
it took lots of trial and error and
it took lots of trial and error and certainly wasn’t as easy as everyone
certainly wasn’t as easy as everyone
certainly wasn’t as easy as everyone puts it out to be but I chose to forget
puts it out to be but I chose to forget
puts it out to be but I chose to forget that only recently did I bother asking
that only recently did I bother asking
that only recently did I bother asking how long it took to actually make any of
how long it took to actually make any of
how long it took to actually make any of his inventions robotics was important to
his inventions robotics was important to
his inventions robotics was important to me because of my father
me because of my father
me because of my father I followed it because of him success
I followed it because of him success
I followed it because of him success takes time and effort and perfection
takes time and effort and perfection
takes time and effort and perfection well I can still try I’ve realized that
well I can still try I’ve realized that
well I can still try I’ve realized that although I might be at the club level
although I might be at the club level
although I might be at the club level now I have time to work my way up to the
now I have time to work my way up to the
now I have time to work my way up to the pedestal I put my father on we all want
pedestal I put my father on we all want
pedestal I put my father on we all want to be perfect but being able to accept
to be perfect but being able to accept
to be perfect but being able to accept our failures and appreciate what we’ve
our failures and appreciate what we’ve
our failures and appreciate what we’ve done right is instrumental for future
done right is instrumental for future
done right is instrumental for future success when we’ve completed something
success when we’ve completed something
success when we’ve completed something we have a choice we can either focus our
we have a choice we can either focus our
we have a choice we can either focus our energy criticizing what we’ve done wrong
energy criticizing what we’ve done wrong
energy criticizing what we’ve done wrong or except what we’ve done right no
or except what we’ve done right no
or except what we’ve done right no matter how minuscule we think it is
matter how minuscule we think it is
matter how minuscule we think it is don’t think I’m not keeping track right
don’t think I’m not keeping track right
don’t think I’m not keeping track right now
dr. talbin Shahar shows us that we need
dr. talbin Shahar shows us that we need to take action towards goals we never
to take action towards goals we never
to take action towards goals we never tried for fear of failure and accept the
tried for fear of failure and accept the
tried for fear of failure and accept the fact that it might take more than one
fact that it might take more than one
fact that it might take more than one attempt to reach that goal failure is
attempt to reach that goal failure is
attempt to reach that goal failure is something that happens not something you
something that happens not something you
something that happens not something you are this has always been me and I know
are this has always been me and I know
are this has always been me and I know there are maybe a little bit more than a
there are maybe a little bit more than a
there are maybe a little bit more than a few other people out here in the
few other people out here in the
few other people out here in the audience tonight who can relate I am NOT
audience tonight who can relate I am NOT
audience tonight who can relate I am NOT alone around the age of eight I was
alone around the age of eight I was
alone around the age of eight I was given a gift a gift I use constantly
given a gift a gift I use constantly
given a gift a gift I use constantly when I’m feeling stressed or anxious or
when I’m feeling stressed or anxious or
when I’m feeling stressed or anxious or nervous but before I get there I need to
nervous but before I get there I need to
nervous but before I get there I need to give you a warning take out your cell
give you a warning take out your cell
give you a warning take out your cell phones because this is something you
phones because this is something you
phones because this is something you want to write down just type that into
want to write down just type that into
want to write down just type that into your cell phone this mantra omana
your cell phone this mantra omana
your cell phone this mantra omana pasenadi is a mantra of wisdom a few
pasenadi is a mantra of wisdom a few
pasenadi is a mantra of wisdom a few words in tibetan it has the power to
words in tibetan it has the power to
words in tibetan it has the power to guide me when I feel nothing else can
guide me when I feel nothing else can
guide me when I feel nothing else can does it make you laugh probably well
does it make you laugh probably well
does it make you laugh probably well that’s okay
that’s okay
that’s okay all that matters is it feels good thank
all that matters is it feels good thank
all that matters is it feels good thank you
you
you [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] you
”
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